voting voting voting.
As a head's up, it's unlikely this round will close until I have had a proper sleep. SORRY, EVERYONE, TIRED MOD IS TIRED. Nonetheless! Please vote away. Juri's round is still open too.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed! Appers, you will get your emails when gmail decides to accept my existence again ... 8|
Character: Castiel
Series: Supernatural
Age: He has a few thousand years under his belt, but appears to be about 30.
Job: Advisor to Understanding Humanity
Canon: Supernatural begins as the simple story concerning the brotherly bond between Sam and Dean Winchester as they road trip across America, hunting down monsters as they go. Of course, things become a little more complicated when demons and angels show up and bring the apocalypse with them, but that too turns out to be just another bump in the road for our heroes. Now they’re left to deal with the aftermath of the very near end of the world along with a few of their remaining allies, including the once fallen angel, Castiel. As is turns out, trouble isn’t able to settle down quite so easily as bigger and badder monsters begin to appear, and it’s left to the Winchesters to, once again, take these nasty things out for good.
Castiel is an angel of the lord and although he used to be little more than heaven’s bitch, after helping the Winchester’s stop the apocalypse by dying a few times (no big deal) he comes to understand the concept of free will and embraces it openly -even if the rest of his kin is a little iffy on the idea. In order to get things done Castiel can come off as a bit cold and ominous, and it’s pretty clear that the guy has some issues with pride to top it all off. But apart from that Castiel is a loyal ally and caring friend that genuinely likes humanity, even if it does still confuse him sometimes. While Castiel can occasionally seem bit quirky due to his more innocent fish-out-of-water moments while dealing with the strangeness of human culture and society, he remains a force to be reckoned with and not a guy you want to get on the bad side of.
Sample Post:
It seems fitting to begin by saying that, despite my apparent experience in this area, attempting to truly understand humanity is about as futile as trying to understand the meow of a cat. Or, for a more current example, why that male ape is attempting to wear the lingerie of a human female. Many theories can be made, but it will always be impossible to know the true meanings behind such behaviour. Humanity is irritatingly unpredictable, and for this reason, I don’t believe that I can offer much solid advice to actually understanding these odd creatures. But, as Elizabeth Sayre has made it clear that my wings will be clipped in the interim that I’m here until I assist her, I will do my best to describe what I have learned about humans to all of you.
First, to the undead and somewhat intelligent animals present, I will make it clear that harassing or bullying the humans in your midst brings you no closer to understanding them. Instead it only instigates a further division between you. There will be separate words for Marcy later, for those who are curious, as unfortunately her harassment tends to be on the more… intimate side. Back to the issue at hand, there are many who will say that humans are base creatures. That humanity itself is something that is better to be cast off instead of embraced. This leads to notion that humans enjoy two things above all else: fighting and sex. This is untrue, as they are also very fond of food, and making communication the most difficult task that they can. They do this by filling their conversations with metaphors, innuendos and half-truths that can be difficult to follow if you’re unaware of what they’re referring to. I’ve found it better to just let them speak at length, as asking for clarification often results in amusement or irritation -- though it can, at times, be difficult to predict which. As for violence, it’s come to my attention that what you've witnessed from them is really no different from the acts of primal wolves protecting their territory. Most likely this is because all of God's creatures share the same blueprint. Don’t look so surprised, He’s really not as creative as people like to assume. And while it's true that this attribute has lead them into many conflicts and wars, as a whole they still manage to stride on just the same.
Finally, concerning the nature of sexual intercourse, most of what you’ve probably already heard is true: it’s done primarily to ensure reproduction. This is likely why the act has been forbidden here, as I’ve witnessed the human race grow to over six-point-five billion people in a relatively short amount of time, and this encampment seems fairly crowded as it is. Maybe I should have mentioned that humans can also be closely related to rabbits in this way. Ultimately, I believe that the best advice I could offer is something fairly simple. Keep in mind that all of this is exactly what makes humanity only human, but, that is perhaps what also keeps them interesting.
Poll Vote!
Name: Elim Garak
Canon: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Age: Unknown, likely middle-aged
Job: Camp Tailor
Canon: Deep Space Nine boldly went to where no Star Trek series had gone before -- simply by staying stationary. Set in the aftermath of the Cardassian occupation of Bajor, Deep Space Nine focuses on the trials and tribulations of a Starfleet officers sent to man a space station left behind by the Cardassians. Set between two understandably unfriendly neighbors, a wormhole, and an even bigger threat from another quadrant of the galaxy, life on the station is never boring.
The only Cardassian left living on the station is Elim Garak. Exiled from Cardassia for unknown reasons, Garak now makes his living as a tailor on Deep Space Nine. Garak himself is something of a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside of an enigma, which is just the way he likes it. Not content to simply disguise the truth about himself, Garak has turned lying into an art form. He's a witty conversationalist, capable of hinting at his dark past as a spy . . . while also keeping that past in the dark. While very charismatic and polite on the surface, under it all Garak is a master equivocator. Garak is the type of being fully capable of lying boldly to your face and tricking you into doing exactly what he wants, all while completely charming the pants off you and making you like him.
Sample Post:
My dear Mr. Grrraghh, while I'm sure that cut would look very flattering on you at some other time, I believe you did inform me that the wedding was to be conservative? From my own research, I've learned that while humans do have many different ideas about what constitutes traditional wedding wear, that particular item does not seem to feature in any of them. Perhaps we should save anything that could be classified as "mini" for the honeymoon? A lighter shade of pink might help offset the oozing pustules and rot on your legs, as well. We are here to highlight your . . . remaining features and hide any imperfections, of course. I would hate to be responsible for allowing you to walk down the aisle in something of such questionable taste.
Please, allow me to direct you to something much more suitable for such a joyous occasion. As we discussed during your last visit, longer skirts such as these allow you conceal a great variety of . . . ah, shall we call them indiscretions? So many surprising things can be hidden, just under the surface. Take this gown, for example. I designed it for a charming young woman, a Bolian trader who was fond of dressing up when delivering her shipments. Little did I know at the time that those hidden pockets I created would work just as well for concealing contraband from the authorities as they would for hiding her credits. It's simply astounding what you can do with an extra fold of fabric, a tuck here, a stitch there--
But I'm sure you're not interested in the plain and simple work of a tailor, Mr. Grrraghh. It's the end result that always captures the attention of my customers, not the path I followed to arrive there. Why don't you try on this particular dress? Please, watch the hemline. You never know what might be pinned up in one . . . is where I would normally leave it, but I can see that the amount of brains dribbling out of your skull does have an inverse effect on your intelligence. You may wish to take that quaint "flash drive" out of the hem, hide it somewhere on your person, and review the information on it in private. It's sure to be a very informative experience and I know you'll put your discovery to good use.
I believe that brings our business to a conclusion. Oh, and Mr. Grrraghh? In the future, I would suggest refraining from traditionally feminine garb if you wished to avoid certain kinds of attention and, potentially, increased suspicion.
Poll Vote!
Character: Hisoka
Series: Hunter x Hunter
Character Age: 27
Job: Orchardist
Canon: Hunter x Hunter is a shounen manga that revolves around a cheerful protagonist and his journey to find his father; to continue his search, he has to become a Hunter. Potential Hunters have to pass a ridiculously dangerous exam, and for good reason - they do some of the most dangerous work in the world, but they get access to all kinds of ridiculous benefits. The Hunter Exam sets the stage for the rest of the series, as it’s during the exam that the main character, Gon, makes friends with the other main characters of the series - and of course, meets the villain.
Enigmatic, dangerous and undeniably creepy, Hisoka immediately gives off seriously bad vibes. Always smiling and cheerful, he lies like he breathes, and kills just as easily. He describes himself as unstable, which is appropriate considering his erratic behaviour and tendency to moodswing between relatively pleasant to ax crazy. His tenacity with pursuing targets, as well as his obsessive attachments to those who deems worthy opponents, is shown in his relationship with the main character; he considers Gon (and Killua, the other shota sidekick) to be “unripe fruit” that he’s waiting to “ripen” and provide a good fight. His motif is that of a magician (or clown), which suits his “special abilities” and aura-powered killer poker cards.
Important note! Hisoka actually speaks with card suits at the end of his sentences. ♣ However, for the purpose of this app, they have not been included. ♥
Sample Post:
Hmm~? Is this supposed to be a surprise? Surprises usually involve the receiving party being unaware of what’s about to happen. Even if I couldn’t easily sense your presence, being purple tends to make you stand out. Evolution didn’t work in your favour, now did it? Hee hee. Well, okay. Those who are brave enough to challenge me head-on are allowed a little longer to live… though, this could just be stupidity. I won’t judge you. Besides, animals want to protect their homes from strange outsiders, don’t they? Or try to take food from them. Apparently, you aren’t aware that stealing is a crime; but stealing from me merits a death sentence, regardless of you harmlessly acting by instinct. Actually, even if I liked you, it would be a death sentence… my, everything to do with me ends in death! Ha ha ha!~ But I’m serious - don’t touch that banana. It’s still hard.
Of course, it looks appetizing, and the fact you can’t have it makes it all the more appealing. I understand those sentiments perfectly well - there are plenty of things I want to take, but can’t. Not yet. Much like the fruit on these trees, patience is required before you can have the things you want the most. It’s a very broad statement, but it’s the truth - and of course, it can be applied to anything. So, if you were to take what you wanted now… I would have to punish you.
Waiting for the fruit to ripen is the hardest part. It sits there, hanging off the branches; there are no longer flowers to distract your eyes from the true prize. So tempting… but to eat it would be a huge mistake. It’s too soon! The fruit is still sour and hasn’t reached full… flavour. For example: apples. Some people enjoy the sour green ones, but they are meant to be bitter. I prefer the red ones - they’re sweet and satisfying to consume. Of course, eating a very satisfying piece of fruit can sometimes lead to me cutting down the whole orchard. A bit of a waste, but it feels good to destroy things, doesn’t it?
That’s what I do best. It’s my hobby, you could say… finding the most appetizing people and having a very satisfying time with them. Well, I suppose I can appreciate the forced irony behind being given this job. My qualifications could be put to better use, but I don’t mind taking a little break. Who knows what I might decide to do in ten minutes? I certainly don’t. You’ll probably be dead by then.
Oh, are you bored? I think I have a remedy for that. My actual job is closer to a magician, you see. Rather, I’m called a magician, but I don’t really do any magic - but for you, I’ll do one of my tricks. A slight-of-hand, if you will. Ladies and gentlemen, the World’s Great Magician Hisoka will now… make this creature’s head disappear.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kushi
Series: Okami
Character Age: late 20s
Job: Booze maker
Canon: Once, there was a tiny village, on the eastern coast of Nippon. This village was called Kamiki, and it had a little bit of a problem. See, there was this eight-headed snake murder machine named Orochi, and his favorite snack was young maidens. Kamiki holds a festival ever year on a full moon, and just before the festival Orochi lets the village know who he wants to go to his lair, the Moon Cave, for him eat that year. Shiranui and Nagi put this to a stop, though, and nobody has to worry. Unfortunately after 100 years he gets revived, and he hangs out in his lair cursing every part of Nippon. It's eating a maiden that will bring him back to his full power. The maiden he chooses this time around is named Kushi.
Kushi's a rather special lady in Kamiki - she's the village sake maker. During the festival, it's said that people come from all over Nippon just try it. Kushi herself would never even imply something like that - she makes the sake simply because she likes to. She is humble and a bottomless pit of patience, and the kind to respond to such a claim with just a quiet thank you. She doesn't stress over being Orochi's chosen sacrifice, instead going calmly to the Moon Cave to meet her fate while placing great confidence in the gods that she will be saved. Kushi also runs a little bit on the naïve side, running to pet Amaterasu as what she, at first, sees as just a wolf.
Sample Post:
I had thought I was on my way to the forest when I found myself here - the water from the mermaid spring there makes the best sake! Though... the mermaids in the spring have human heads and fish tails, not the other way around. Oh no, I think I might have left my barrel there! I hope I won't end up having to make a new one right away. I can't imagine what I could have done to warrant the gods bringing me to a place like this, but things will turn out fine, I'm sure. It will be all right. I just have to be a little patient, that's all. Here, it doesn't seem quite as bad as the Moon Cave was, but I haven't seen very much. I hope it doesn't get too much worse.
In any case, I'm honored that my sake was thought to be good enough for it to be worth bringing me all the way here. However, I can't even begin to imagine who thought this would be a good idea! Sake in a place like this? Even if it weren't for such a setting, it's something that can be very dangerous when taken to excess. I don't want to think about what would happen if that was allowed to happen, what with everything here. To those of you that are of age, when I have some made, I must ask you not to drink too much. Moderation is key.
I should say that it will be a very long time before any at all will be ready. It might be able to go without some of the aging, since I don't think I'm in Nippon anymore. I'll just have to try and see! Even without that, though, the essential process itself can take up to six months. Of course I'll get started as soon as I can, but please be patient. It isn't something that can be rushed - in fact, rushing will do nothing but make it worse than it could be.
Oh, and I shouldn't be talking about this without saying at least something about that when I... got here, I was told that there are quite a lot of people here that are underage. It would be so irresponsible of me not to mention it. All I can do is ask you not to go near it, when it's finished. I'll be keeping an eye on it as much as I can, to prevent anyone's excess, but please don't cause trouble. It really isn't worth it.
Poll Vote!
Character: Fenris
Series: Dragon Age II
Character Age: Unknown, presumably late 20s, early 30s-ish.
Job: Hired Sword and Emergency Lighting System
Canon: Dragon Age II is the story of Hawke, a refugee who makes a home in the city of Kirkwall. Though with the humblest of beginnings, Hawke gathers a loyal group of very dangerous friends and rises to greatness as the Champion of Kirkwall.
Fenris is one such friend. The escaped slave of a magister from the country of Tevinter, Fenris is an elven warrior. His body is inscribed with glowing tattoos made of the magical mineral lyrium, which gives him powers and strength beyond normal abilities. However, his memories prior to the ritual were destroyed, and the pain was so great it haunts him even now.
Often described as 'broody', Fenris is prone to angst about his past as a slave and his uncertain future. He has a fierce hatred of magic, and a deep distrust of mages until they prove to his satisfaction that they are not weak enough to fall prey to demons and blood magic - a nearly impossible task. He appears calm, even in battle, but it's a false front. Beneath, he seethes with restrained rage, and his cold fury adds to his strength. While usually very serious, he does have a dry sense of humour and is not incapable of having fun. Fenris has absolutely no fear of speaking his mind, and makes no apologies for being who and what he is. His speech is eloquent, and occasionally prone to melodrama.
Note: Fenris' reading skills are poor, as he only began learning a few years ago.
Sample Post:
'The Caverns of Despair' is it? Strange - for a place so ominously named, I expected to find rather more inside. To think Lady Sayre suggested I might find the task of investigating it challenging. The only reason to 'despair' I'm finding here is in the realization that my time has been utterly wasted. Perhaps she didn't realize that I intend to collect my pay even if this is merely a wild goose chase that she?s sent me on.
Still, it is odd. Ordinarily, even a cave without anything especially sinister about it holds a few dozen raiders or slavers, or giant spiders drop from the ceiling at every step. This one is quiet. Too quiet. Perhaps the tales of an abomination lurking in the darkness were not unfounded? Certainly nothing could live here with the sort of ravenous horror that was described to me, a monster of flesh and magic that emerges on moonless nights and preys on livestock and unwary villagers. If the demon truly exists, then it is little wonder that even the cattle in the fields were armoured. I had thought it too exaggerated a tale; I ought to have known otherwise. There is no evil to which magic cannot descend.
And what is this? A side passage bearing the foul scent of old death, and something on the wall. Perhaps writing? I cannot make it out, but a bit of light may help. Let's see . . . "It is pitch black." . . . I believe I may be all the stupider for having just read that. Who would waste their time writing something so obvious? No matter, it continues. "You are likely to be eaten by a-" What is that word? Sound it out. 'Gu-ru'? No, 'gu-re'? No, no, 'grue'. That is it, grue. Grue . . . was that not what the rumoured abomination was called? Then down this black tunnel waits the monster. It looks as though I'll have to work for my pay after all - if I can call destroying abominations 'work'. I will enjoy this.
Grue! Hear my voice and know that it heralds the end of your accursed, magic-tainted existence! Hide in your beloved darkness if you wish; that will not stop me. I will find you and destroy you, and I will not be eaten!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed! Appers, you will get your emails when gmail decides to accept my existence again ... 8|
Character: Castiel
Series: Supernatural
Age: He has a few thousand years under his belt, but appears to be about 30.
Job: Advisor to Understanding Humanity
Canon: Supernatural begins as the simple story concerning the brotherly bond between Sam and Dean Winchester as they road trip across America, hunting down monsters as they go. Of course, things become a little more complicated when demons and angels show up and bring the apocalypse with them, but that too turns out to be just another bump in the road for our heroes. Now they’re left to deal with the aftermath of the very near end of the world along with a few of their remaining allies, including the once fallen angel, Castiel. As is turns out, trouble isn’t able to settle down quite so easily as bigger and badder monsters begin to appear, and it’s left to the Winchesters to, once again, take these nasty things out for good.
Castiel is an angel of the lord and although he used to be little more than heaven’s bitch, after helping the Winchester’s stop the apocalypse by dying a few times (no big deal) he comes to understand the concept of free will and embraces it openly -even if the rest of his kin is a little iffy on the idea. In order to get things done Castiel can come off as a bit cold and ominous, and it’s pretty clear that the guy has some issues with pride to top it all off. But apart from that Castiel is a loyal ally and caring friend that genuinely likes humanity, even if it does still confuse him sometimes. While Castiel can occasionally seem bit quirky due to his more innocent fish-out-of-water moments while dealing with the strangeness of human culture and society, he remains a force to be reckoned with and not a guy you want to get on the bad side of.
Sample Post:
It seems fitting to begin by saying that, despite my apparent experience in this area, attempting to truly understand humanity is about as futile as trying to understand the meow of a cat. Or, for a more current example, why that male ape is attempting to wear the lingerie of a human female. Many theories can be made, but it will always be impossible to know the true meanings behind such behaviour. Humanity is irritatingly unpredictable, and for this reason, I don’t believe that I can offer much solid advice to actually understanding these odd creatures. But, as Elizabeth Sayre has made it clear that my wings will be clipped in the interim that I’m here until I assist her, I will do my best to describe what I have learned about humans to all of you.
First, to the undead and somewhat intelligent animals present, I will make it clear that harassing or bullying the humans in your midst brings you no closer to understanding them. Instead it only instigates a further division between you. There will be separate words for Marcy later, for those who are curious, as unfortunately her harassment tends to be on the more… intimate side. Back to the issue at hand, there are many who will say that humans are base creatures. That humanity itself is something that is better to be cast off instead of embraced. This leads to notion that humans enjoy two things above all else: fighting and sex. This is untrue, as they are also very fond of food, and making communication the most difficult task that they can. They do this by filling their conversations with metaphors, innuendos and half-truths that can be difficult to follow if you’re unaware of what they’re referring to. I’ve found it better to just let them speak at length, as asking for clarification often results in amusement or irritation -- though it can, at times, be difficult to predict which. As for violence, it’s come to my attention that what you've witnessed from them is really no different from the acts of primal wolves protecting their territory. Most likely this is because all of God's creatures share the same blueprint. Don’t look so surprised, He’s really not as creative as people like to assume. And while it's true that this attribute has lead them into many conflicts and wars, as a whole they still manage to stride on just the same.
Finally, concerning the nature of sexual intercourse, most of what you’ve probably already heard is true: it’s done primarily to ensure reproduction. This is likely why the act has been forbidden here, as I’ve witnessed the human race grow to over six-point-five billion people in a relatively short amount of time, and this encampment seems fairly crowded as it is. Maybe I should have mentioned that humans can also be closely related to rabbits in this way. Ultimately, I believe that the best advice I could offer is something fairly simple. Keep in mind that all of this is exactly what makes humanity only human, but, that is perhaps what also keeps them interesting.
Poll Vote!
Name: Elim Garak
Canon: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Age: Unknown, likely middle-aged
Job: Camp Tailor
Canon: Deep Space Nine boldly went to where no Star Trek series had gone before -- simply by staying stationary. Set in the aftermath of the Cardassian occupation of Bajor, Deep Space Nine focuses on the trials and tribulations of a Starfleet officers sent to man a space station left behind by the Cardassians. Set between two understandably unfriendly neighbors, a wormhole, and an even bigger threat from another quadrant of the galaxy, life on the station is never boring.
The only Cardassian left living on the station is Elim Garak. Exiled from Cardassia for unknown reasons, Garak now makes his living as a tailor on Deep Space Nine. Garak himself is something of a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside of an enigma, which is just the way he likes it. Not content to simply disguise the truth about himself, Garak has turned lying into an art form. He's a witty conversationalist, capable of hinting at his dark past as a spy . . . while also keeping that past in the dark. While very charismatic and polite on the surface, under it all Garak is a master equivocator. Garak is the type of being fully capable of lying boldly to your face and tricking you into doing exactly what he wants, all while completely charming the pants off you and making you like him.
Sample Post:
My dear Mr. Grrraghh, while I'm sure that cut would look very flattering on you at some other time, I believe you did inform me that the wedding was to be conservative? From my own research, I've learned that while humans do have many different ideas about what constitutes traditional wedding wear, that particular item does not seem to feature in any of them. Perhaps we should save anything that could be classified as "mini" for the honeymoon? A lighter shade of pink might help offset the oozing pustules and rot on your legs, as well. We are here to highlight your . . . remaining features and hide any imperfections, of course. I would hate to be responsible for allowing you to walk down the aisle in something of such questionable taste.
Please, allow me to direct you to something much more suitable for such a joyous occasion. As we discussed during your last visit, longer skirts such as these allow you conceal a great variety of . . . ah, shall we call them indiscretions? So many surprising things can be hidden, just under the surface. Take this gown, for example. I designed it for a charming young woman, a Bolian trader who was fond of dressing up when delivering her shipments. Little did I know at the time that those hidden pockets I created would work just as well for concealing contraband from the authorities as they would for hiding her credits. It's simply astounding what you can do with an extra fold of fabric, a tuck here, a stitch there--
But I'm sure you're not interested in the plain and simple work of a tailor, Mr. Grrraghh. It's the end result that always captures the attention of my customers, not the path I followed to arrive there. Why don't you try on this particular dress? Please, watch the hemline. You never know what might be pinned up in one . . . is where I would normally leave it, but I can see that the amount of brains dribbling out of your skull does have an inverse effect on your intelligence. You may wish to take that quaint "flash drive" out of the hem, hide it somewhere on your person, and review the information on it in private. It's sure to be a very informative experience and I know you'll put your discovery to good use.
I believe that brings our business to a conclusion. Oh, and Mr. Grrraghh? In the future, I would suggest refraining from traditionally feminine garb if you wished to avoid certain kinds of attention and, potentially, increased suspicion.
Poll Vote!
Character: Hisoka
Series: Hunter x Hunter
Character Age: 27
Job: Orchardist
Canon: Hunter x Hunter is a shounen manga that revolves around a cheerful protagonist and his journey to find his father; to continue his search, he has to become a Hunter. Potential Hunters have to pass a ridiculously dangerous exam, and for good reason - they do some of the most dangerous work in the world, but they get access to all kinds of ridiculous benefits. The Hunter Exam sets the stage for the rest of the series, as it’s during the exam that the main character, Gon, makes friends with the other main characters of the series - and of course, meets the villain.
Enigmatic, dangerous and undeniably creepy, Hisoka immediately gives off seriously bad vibes. Always smiling and cheerful, he lies like he breathes, and kills just as easily. He describes himself as unstable, which is appropriate considering his erratic behaviour and tendency to moodswing between relatively pleasant to ax crazy. His tenacity with pursuing targets, as well as his obsessive attachments to those who deems worthy opponents, is shown in his relationship with the main character; he considers Gon (and Killua, the other shota sidekick) to be “unripe fruit” that he’s waiting to “ripen” and provide a good fight. His motif is that of a magician (or clown), which suits his “special abilities” and aura-powered killer poker cards.
Important note! Hisoka actually speaks with card suits at the end of his sentences. ♣ However, for the purpose of this app, they have not been included. ♥
Sample Post:
Hmm~? Is this supposed to be a surprise? Surprises usually involve the receiving party being unaware of what’s about to happen. Even if I couldn’t easily sense your presence, being purple tends to make you stand out. Evolution didn’t work in your favour, now did it? Hee hee. Well, okay. Those who are brave enough to challenge me head-on are allowed a little longer to live… though, this could just be stupidity. I won’t judge you. Besides, animals want to protect their homes from strange outsiders, don’t they? Or try to take food from them. Apparently, you aren’t aware that stealing is a crime; but stealing from me merits a death sentence, regardless of you harmlessly acting by instinct. Actually, even if I liked you, it would be a death sentence… my, everything to do with me ends in death! Ha ha ha!~ But I’m serious - don’t touch that banana. It’s still hard.
Of course, it looks appetizing, and the fact you can’t have it makes it all the more appealing. I understand those sentiments perfectly well - there are plenty of things I want to take, but can’t. Not yet. Much like the fruit on these trees, patience is required before you can have the things you want the most. It’s a very broad statement, but it’s the truth - and of course, it can be applied to anything. So, if you were to take what you wanted now… I would have to punish you.
Waiting for the fruit to ripen is the hardest part. It sits there, hanging off the branches; there are no longer flowers to distract your eyes from the true prize. So tempting… but to eat it would be a huge mistake. It’s too soon! The fruit is still sour and hasn’t reached full… flavour. For example: apples. Some people enjoy the sour green ones, but they are meant to be bitter. I prefer the red ones - they’re sweet and satisfying to consume. Of course, eating a very satisfying piece of fruit can sometimes lead to me cutting down the whole orchard. A bit of a waste, but it feels good to destroy things, doesn’t it?
That’s what I do best. It’s my hobby, you could say… finding the most appetizing people and having a very satisfying time with them. Well, I suppose I can appreciate the forced irony behind being given this job. My qualifications could be put to better use, but I don’t mind taking a little break. Who knows what I might decide to do in ten minutes? I certainly don’t. You’ll probably be dead by then.
Oh, are you bored? I think I have a remedy for that. My actual job is closer to a magician, you see. Rather, I’m called a magician, but I don’t really do any magic - but for you, I’ll do one of my tricks. A slight-of-hand, if you will. Ladies and gentlemen, the World’s Great Magician Hisoka will now… make this creature’s head disappear.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kushi
Series: Okami
Character Age: late 20s
Job: Booze maker
Canon: Once, there was a tiny village, on the eastern coast of Nippon. This village was called Kamiki, and it had a little bit of a problem. See, there was this eight-headed snake murder machine named Orochi, and his favorite snack was young maidens. Kamiki holds a festival ever year on a full moon, and just before the festival Orochi lets the village know who he wants to go to his lair, the Moon Cave, for him eat that year. Shiranui and Nagi put this to a stop, though, and nobody has to worry. Unfortunately after 100 years he gets revived, and he hangs out in his lair cursing every part of Nippon. It's eating a maiden that will bring him back to his full power. The maiden he chooses this time around is named Kushi.
Kushi's a rather special lady in Kamiki - she's the village sake maker. During the festival, it's said that people come from all over Nippon just try it. Kushi herself would never even imply something like that - she makes the sake simply because she likes to. She is humble and a bottomless pit of patience, and the kind to respond to such a claim with just a quiet thank you. She doesn't stress over being Orochi's chosen sacrifice, instead going calmly to the Moon Cave to meet her fate while placing great confidence in the gods that she will be saved. Kushi also runs a little bit on the naïve side, running to pet Amaterasu as what she, at first, sees as just a wolf.
Sample Post:
I had thought I was on my way to the forest when I found myself here - the water from the mermaid spring there makes the best sake! Though... the mermaids in the spring have human heads and fish tails, not the other way around. Oh no, I think I might have left my barrel there! I hope I won't end up having to make a new one right away. I can't imagine what I could have done to warrant the gods bringing me to a place like this, but things will turn out fine, I'm sure. It will be all right. I just have to be a little patient, that's all. Here, it doesn't seem quite as bad as the Moon Cave was, but I haven't seen very much. I hope it doesn't get too much worse.
In any case, I'm honored that my sake was thought to be good enough for it to be worth bringing me all the way here. However, I can't even begin to imagine who thought this would be a good idea! Sake in a place like this? Even if it weren't for such a setting, it's something that can be very dangerous when taken to excess. I don't want to think about what would happen if that was allowed to happen, what with everything here. To those of you that are of age, when I have some made, I must ask you not to drink too much. Moderation is key.
I should say that it will be a very long time before any at all will be ready. It might be able to go without some of the aging, since I don't think I'm in Nippon anymore. I'll just have to try and see! Even without that, though, the essential process itself can take up to six months. Of course I'll get started as soon as I can, but please be patient. It isn't something that can be rushed - in fact, rushing will do nothing but make it worse than it could be.
Oh, and I shouldn't be talking about this without saying at least something about that when I... got here, I was told that there are quite a lot of people here that are underage. It would be so irresponsible of me not to mention it. All I can do is ask you not to go near it, when it's finished. I'll be keeping an eye on it as much as I can, to prevent anyone's excess, but please don't cause trouble. It really isn't worth it.
Poll Vote!
Character: Fenris
Series: Dragon Age II
Character Age: Unknown, presumably late 20s, early 30s-ish.
Job: Hired Sword and Emergency Lighting System
Canon: Dragon Age II is the story of Hawke, a refugee who makes a home in the city of Kirkwall. Though with the humblest of beginnings, Hawke gathers a loyal group of very dangerous friends and rises to greatness as the Champion of Kirkwall.
Fenris is one such friend. The escaped slave of a magister from the country of Tevinter, Fenris is an elven warrior. His body is inscribed with glowing tattoos made of the magical mineral lyrium, which gives him powers and strength beyond normal abilities. However, his memories prior to the ritual were destroyed, and the pain was so great it haunts him even now.
Often described as 'broody', Fenris is prone to angst about his past as a slave and his uncertain future. He has a fierce hatred of magic, and a deep distrust of mages until they prove to his satisfaction that they are not weak enough to fall prey to demons and blood magic - a nearly impossible task. He appears calm, even in battle, but it's a false front. Beneath, he seethes with restrained rage, and his cold fury adds to his strength. While usually very serious, he does have a dry sense of humour and is not incapable of having fun. Fenris has absolutely no fear of speaking his mind, and makes no apologies for being who and what he is. His speech is eloquent, and occasionally prone to melodrama.
Note: Fenris' reading skills are poor, as he only began learning a few years ago.
Sample Post:
'The Caverns of Despair' is it? Strange - for a place so ominously named, I expected to find rather more inside. To think Lady Sayre suggested I might find the task of investigating it challenging. The only reason to 'despair' I'm finding here is in the realization that my time has been utterly wasted. Perhaps she didn't realize that I intend to collect my pay even if this is merely a wild goose chase that she?s sent me on.
Still, it is odd. Ordinarily, even a cave without anything especially sinister about it holds a few dozen raiders or slavers, or giant spiders drop from the ceiling at every step. This one is quiet. Too quiet. Perhaps the tales of an abomination lurking in the darkness were not unfounded? Certainly nothing could live here with the sort of ravenous horror that was described to me, a monster of flesh and magic that emerges on moonless nights and preys on livestock and unwary villagers. If the demon truly exists, then it is little wonder that even the cattle in the fields were armoured. I had thought it too exaggerated a tale; I ought to have known otherwise. There is no evil to which magic cannot descend.
And what is this? A side passage bearing the foul scent of old death, and something on the wall. Perhaps writing? I cannot make it out, but a bit of light may help. Let's see . . . "It is pitch black." . . . I believe I may be all the stupider for having just read that. Who would waste their time writing something so obvious? No matter, it continues. "You are likely to be eaten by a-" What is that word? Sound it out. 'Gu-ru'? No, 'gu-re'? No, no, 'grue'. That is it, grue. Grue . . . was that not what the rumoured abomination was called? Then down this black tunnel waits the monster. It looks as though I'll have to work for my pay after all - if I can call destroying abominations 'work'. I will enjoy this.
Grue! Hear my voice and know that it heralds the end of your accursed, magic-tainted existence! Hide in your beloved darkness if you wish; that will not stop me. I will find you and destroy you, and I will not be eaten!
Poll Vote!