(no subject)
HAY GUESS WHOSE TURN IT IS.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Lex Luthor
Series: Smallville
Age: 21 (season 1)
Canon: Billionaire, playboy, genius, Prince of Metropolis - Lex Luthor is the
enigmatic heir to the LuthorCorp fortune. Fresh out of a tour through the
Ivy League and a colorful collection of Europe’s top universities, Lex
returns home only to party like a rich kid and get himself into serious
legal trouble - earning the wrath of his truly evil father. Banished to
Smallville, Kansas as punishment for his immaturity, Lex is to learn
responsibility by running a LuthorCorp fertilizer plant. There he is saved
from a near fatal car accident by one mild mannered Clark Kent, and the
not-so-subtly-homoerotic friendship that forms progresses into a secret
fascination which is gradually becoming a dangerous obsession. Not only does
this chance meeting with the future Superman save his life, but also changes
his outlook, giving him a fresh view of existence and convincing him that
being dropped in Smallville to run the plant could be a blessing rather than
a curse.
Never letting down his careful guard, and putting out an affable and
charming face to the world, Lex hides careful scheming and deep seated
father issues behind a smiling face, cynical wit and a cocky swagger.
Although he fights desperately against his destiny, Lex is not meant to be a
good guy. Far too naturally cunning and lacking just a few too many moral
boundaries, he is a force to be reckoned with. A man with a curious mind
along with the brilliance, charisma, and money to back it up, Lex makes a
powerful friend, and a terrifying enemy.
It would figure that after opting to drive ten hours to an unknown location,
I would end up in a swamp in the middle of Moonshine, Louisiana.
It has become painfully clear to me in the past few hours that there is no
way a fertilizer plant could even conceivably be built at the coordinates
that my father gave to me. It may be a natural shit factory, but the
idea of building large scale mechanics is laughable. Once again, I find
myself exiled to the ends of civilization by a man who still believes that
sweeping me under the rug - or throwing me in a swamp - is acceptable
parenting.
Amazingly though, it would seem that even more neglectful families exist
than the Luthors. This corner of Louisiana appears to be a camp - somehow,
enough kids were sent here by their guardians to start a summer retreat. Who
puts themselves or their children in a situation like this willingly? I
actually passed a plant that tried to steal the pants off of my body,
proving that this may just be the antithesis of civilization.
And it's not that most of the people I’ve come across here could pass for
civilized. I assume these rough looking individuals I keep encountering are
the unfortunate recipients of my father’s special brand of research, mutated
somehow beyond the ability to speak coherently. These protestors of the new
factory, as I can only guess they are, have tried to assault me since the
moment of my arrival. I managed to lose them, but not before having to kick
one particularly tenacious assailant in the trachea.
In any case, I’m hoping that through this message I’ll be able to find an
acceptable place to stay until I can figure a way to make this unfortunate
situation work in my favor. “Making it work” may involve sedating the
restless locals and slashing and burning the kleptomaniacal shrubbery, but
it’s a hassle I’m willing to endure. The way I see it, I may not be able to
run the LuthorCorp factory here that I had imagined, but I can perhaps start
something even greater. My father will not bury me out here, and
he’ll be sorry he tried.
After all, you should never wound what you can’t kill.
Poll Vote!
Character: Clark Kent
Series: Smallville. Official site. Wikipedia entry.
Age: About 16 -- this Clark is taken from early season two.
Canon: One day, Clark Kent is going to be Superman. Right now, he's just your nowhere near average high school student, trying to be an ordinary teenager while coping with puberty. In Clark's case, this includes dealing with heat vision that is triggered whenever he feels ... hot, keeping up with his chores and the spaceship hidden in his family's storm cellar -- Clark, the only survivor of the planet Krypton, travelled to earth as an infant. Brought up to have a strong sense of social responsibility, Clark uses his abilities -- strength, speed, x-ray vision and heat vision -- to help people, a full time task in Smallville, a sleepy farming town where meteor fuelled mutations routinely cause havoc.
Described by close friend Chloe as having an innate sense of justice, Clark has two sides. On the one, he's a responsible, hardworking farm kid, who likes to believe the best of people, and who has an enduring hopeless crush on classmate Lana Lang. On the other, Clark is often forced to lie to his friends to protect himself, bitterly referring to himself as the Fort Knox of secrets. Even his relationship with his best friend - one Lex Luthor - is based on lies as much as it is on trust. This duality gets to Clark a lot, at which point he usually goes to brood in the barn. Clark's good at that.
Hey. I really hope I'm not interrupting anything. I heard a lot of people shouting 'married' earlier -- I'm not crashing a wedding, am I? Mom would kill me.
See, I need to use a phone. I found the phonebooth already but it doesn't seem to be functioning. Every time I dial it either times out or puts me on hold to the elevator version of 'Grateful Dead' music. Calling operator assistance was even worse. Okay, so we do market ourselves as Kent 's Organics, and I'm doing okay at school, so I don't mind being called a brain, but the sudden invitation to dinner? Not what I'd call professional. Also someone left their clothes in there, including bright blue leggings and what has to be the world's tackiest pair of briefs, but I'm trying to forget that. So. Any help?
You're kidding. No phones and we're in Louisiana ?
You're not kidding.
This is just great. Man, I hope Chloe doesn't find out about this. I can see the newspaper headlines now. Area boy, 16, breaks world record for most hopelessly lost individual on the face of the planet. Routine trip to deliver produce to neighboring farm ends in Louisiana swamp, three states away from the intended destination. Smallville High's social studies teacher is quoted as saying 'But Clark's always been so good at geography,' while close friends commented 'He must have been thinking about Lana again.'
... not that I was. But even if Lana had crossed my mind there's no law against that, and anyway, it's not like thinking about her had anything to do with my suddenly ending up in a swamp. People don't just develop the ability to teleport - Crap. I'm so dead.
... when Dad finds out what happened to the truck.
Freak twister! That's what it was! Picked up the truck and dumped me here. Happens all the time, just check the Discovery channel. No cable? Ever seen the movie Twister? Man, when they said climate change would effect weather patterns, they really weren't kidding -
... okay, this is going to sound weird but ... I think that phone booth is stalking me.
Poll Vote!
Character: Fuuma Yousuke
Series: Wedding Peach
Age: 14
Canon: Wedding Peach is the story of a young woman who fights crime! ...in a Western-stlye wedding dress.
Yousuke Fuuma, aside from being a soccer fanatic and the back-up goalie for the school's award-winning team, is also the son of the second-strongest demon in history. Unfortunately, he doesn't know that. He transforms into Viento, of the Rafaal tribe, after being doused in hate. After being attacked by a rogue Love Angel, he realizes who he is and all but abandons his angelic (literally; she's an angel) girlfriend, Momoko Hanasaki, whom he usually teases mercilessly and whom he calls "Momopi."
Somewhere beyond the rough speech and mockery, he truly does love her, in spite of that being detrimental to his demon power and self. Yet for some reason, that Love Wave doesn't stop him from becoming the second-most powerful, evil demon in the anime. Huh.
So they really are quite a bit like Romeo and Juliet, but only if Romeo ever decided that Juliet had a peach-shaped butt.
Huh. So what is this place? It's a little early for a sleepaway camp, isn't it? The only person who'd be fooled into coming here this early'd have to be ---
Momopi. Are you hiding out there?
Now, now, don't be shy. I know you're probably wondering why it took so long for someone else to come here, but there's an easy explanation for that one, Momopi, and even you can understand this one: It's still March.
So aside from that, what do you guys do around here? Sing songs 'round the campfire? That'd be a trip. I bet you all know the great, cheesy songs, too, and that you get to roast weenies.
...Not quite how I wanted that to sound. At all.
So, do you guys really do all that stuff here, or is this ---
Momoko, why are the hotdogs asking me to turn off my cellphone? And that had better not be a ---
Waitaminute.
Pineapples don't talk.
What the hell's goin' on around here?! Food's supposed to be food. If this is what happens when girls try to cook, count me out. I'll stick to the Kwik-Mart stuff.
...Once I register to vote with the pineapples. Little help here? Anyone?
Poll Vote!
Character: Nathan Maloney
Series: Queer as Folk UK [Wikipedia - IMDB]
Age: 15
Canon: Queer as Folk is a series about the relationships of people in Canal Street, Manchester's gay zone. All the characters are modeled after different gay archetypes: Nathan is the teenager new to the scene. Aside from the fact he was seduced and lost his virginity to Stuart Jones, 29-year old manslut, Nathan is pretty much your average fifteen year old boy. He snarks at his parents, likes angsty music and gossips with his best friend. He's also googly-eyed for Stuart and crushes on him like a schoolgirl.
As his surrogate mother says of Nathan, "some boys don't just come out of the closet, they explode." Nathan embraces the gay nightlife with great gusto, until that (and Stuart) become all he really talks about. Like his role model, Nathan becomes rather promiscuous, and is happiest when dancing to disco in clubs, or hanging out with Stuart's friends. Besides that, he's extremely self-absorbed, a drama queen, and sometimes not the brightest crayon in the box. On the other hand, he can be very charming and cute. But most of the time? He's a complete brat.
Hi! I'm Nathan. I've just got to this "survival camp," last night. I need somewhere to stay and someone to listen, 'cause yesterday? Yesterday was the worst day of my life.
I get dropped off, and these twats in the furry purple coats (is that the uniform? Mind you, it fits that camp uniforms look like they just came out of Elton John's closet) give me a box of barbecue matches and a camper enrollment quiz to go on my permanent record. But it was dead strange.
Like, one of the questions was, "In case of death, what would you prefer happen to your remains?: a. resurrected via moogle, b. resurrected by a camper, c. sent back home, d. given to Marcy to do as she wishes." I was going to ask the Elton fans if that was a joke until I read the next question, "How many gays does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" Don't suppose I've ever screwed in a lightbulb, but I bet Stuart could do it with five. And then I got to question 69, "Does this number make you giggle?" And it doesn't...! 'Cause I'm not a virgin, so of course not. Hee.
I stopped filling the quiz out, though, 'cause I realised the page had actually been printed off OKCupid and somebody had written CFUD aPtTitOOd tEst at the top with chunky red ink. So they took it from me and gave me a laptop and a shotgun. Is the gun still legal if I'm British?! You take this survival camp thing very seriously, you do!
Or that's what I thought until I saw that... What the hell is that, anyway? That Nessie thing in the lake. Everything was clear after I saw it. No wonder you lot are so flippant about death and the like! Nessie the Second was grabby like a bloke who's gone without a shag for years, so I did what any sane person would do in this situation: skip the niceties and run!
(I dropped all my bags on the way, and I've yet to find a pair of black boxers. If you see them, they're mine. And if you see GI Joe underwear, it's not mine. Anymore, at any rate.)
Poll Vote!
Character: Zatch Bell
Series: Zatch Bell
Age: Unknown, but looks and acts like a grade school kid.
Canon: Every thousand years 100 demons are sent to our world to do battle with each other in order to decide who will be their king. Friends are up against friends and even peaceful demons are forced into combat. Among the chosen in the latest round is an underdog named Zatch Bell. Zatch has vowed to try and win the tournament in order to become a kind king and hopefully stop the pointless fighting once and for all.
Obviously, the irony of beating the crap out of others in order to achieve peace is totally lost on him.
To be blunt, Zatch can be pretty dense. Since that's actually part of his youthful naivete it also comes with a powerful (and sometimes annoying) optimism. Friendship is very important to him, and he has a deep desire for peaceful coexistence among his kind. Due to his childish nature he's not exactly a beacon of maturity; he can be unreasonably stubborn and selfish when he wants to be. Overall, though, he's generally an agreeable kid whose favorite activities include playing, eating, and just plain being weird.
Uhm. Is it OK to eat the walking fish?
He's been dancing back and forth by the window for a reeeeally long time, and he looks soooo good. I haven't eaten anything since before I came here and he's my most favorite kind of fi--
Aaah! What am I saying? I can't eat a walking fish! He has shoes! If he has shoes, then that means he probably got them at a store. If he got them at a store then he probably has money! If he has money that means he has to have a job! If he has a job, then maybe he has a family! What if he has a bunch of baby walking fish at home that are waiting for him right now? I CAN'T EAT SOMEONE'S DAD!
...
Right! So! Camp! Aha! I've had fun so far! My name's Zatch Bell, and I really can't wait to meet all of you! This place is kinda strange, but it's not all that bad. I've seen all different types of people here, and I think I've even started learning some of your special words! 'Emo' has something to do with having to fart, but not being able to, right? Since people don't seem to like it, and always talk about being 'filled' with it. I think that's right! Anyway, I always like meeting new peop-- now he's doing cartwheels. Oh, man ... is he holding a... a soy sauce container?!
HoldonI'llberightback!
...
Ahhh. I feel much better! Now... what was I talking about, again?
Poll Vote!
Character: Death of the Endless
Series: The Sandman comics, written
by Neil Gaiman and published by DC Vertigo.
Age: As old as the universe, but appears to be somewhere in her mid to late teens.
Canon: The Endless are seven anthropomorphic personifications
of essential aspects of the universe: they are, from oldest to youngest,
Destiny, Death, Dream, Destruction (ret.), Desire, Despair (they're
twins!) and Delirium.
Death's symbol is an ankh, which she usually wears around her neck.
Long ago, she was gloomy and nihilistic, but these days she has a sunny,
candid personality that cuts through the crap. Of her family, she was
closest to Dream and Delirium, but after the events of the Sandman
series, her relationship with Dream may have changed.
She meets everyone twice: once when they are born, and once when they
die, although no one remembers their first encounter. And, once a
century, "Death takes on mortal flesh, to better comprehend what the
lives she takes must feel like, to taste the bitter tang of mortality:
this is the price she must pay for being the divider of the living from
all that has gone before and all that must come after." She does not
know the destination of those who die, only escorts them into her realm,
the Sunless Lands. What happens next is up to them.
Death collects floppy hats, and has two goldfish, Slim and Wandsworth.
She likes the movie "Mary Poppins", apples, and hot dogs. All character
references made with player permission. And yes, I have read all the
Wednesday Addams-as-Death threads.
You know, I really like the way the lake glow reflects on the leaves of
the trees. It's pretty. And the zombies add that extra touch of
atmosphere. Anyway, hi, everybody! I'm glad to be out and about at
last. I imagine I look familiar to some of you. Those of you who
recognize me... you know why you recognize me. Those of you who don't,
well, don't worry about it. I've been around. You just haven't seen me.
I'm here to talk about severe abuse of the moogle system. Remember,
multiple lifetimes are not a luxury you're going to have outside of
camp. You don't want to get into the habit of doing idiotic things just
because you think, "Hey, I'll save and reset my life!" Next thing you
know, you're at home and challenging someone to mortal combat because
they insulted your arts and crafts, and you've forgotten you can't reset
anymore. Do you really want your tombstone to read "Here lies Quincy
Archer John Doe, died for garter stitch"?
I didn't think so.
And because every coin has two sides, I'd also like to talk about
murderous rampages. Now, I understand that for some people they're
cathartic, and for some people, they're a lot of fun. Occasionally,
they're even both. But you have to think about the overtime it
generates. Do you know how difficult it is to shepherd hundreds of
bewildered weeping shades on to the next plane of existence? It's a
little easier when it's zombies slaughtered en masse, because when I get
to them, the first thing they say is generally, "Ackthwpterrgh," which
translates, more or less, to "It's about time." But sand people?
Villagers? Extraterrestrials? I had a headache for weeks.
Anyway. Enough about my problems. Two things to begin with. First, if
you see a girl about my age with multi-colored hair, one blue eye, and
one green eye, please be nice to her. For your own sake. Second, I'd
like to see the following people for a little chat: Ishida Uryuu, Nishi
Jouichirou, Anakin Skywalker, and Cho Hakkai. Don't worry if you don't
have time at the moment.
I have all the time in the world.
Poll Vote!
Character: Abarai Renji
Series: Bleach
Age: Unknown, but he passes for a teenager.
Canon: Cocky and aggressive, with something to prove to
the world in general and to Rukia, Byakuya, and himself in specific. The
word complex comes to mind. And also the word inferiority.
Abarai Renji is a guy who went from the slums of Area 78 all the way the
Vice-Captain of the 6th Division, by way of the 5th and 11th Divisions. He
gained friends, respect, even a fanboy, none of which is enough to make him
forget either his origins, or how much he has left to accomplish. As a
result of his particular kind of confidence, he tends to underestimate
seemingly weak opponents and obsess over the strong ones. His voice varies
from swaggering, to harsh, to friendly easily, with bursts of temper and
angst regularly. For afternoon, expect showers of rivalry and some light
bitching.
Oi, can a guy...
Oi!
Oi! Can a guy maybe get a little attention around here? I'm sure
you guys are all nice 'n busy and all, but I don't plan on wasting too much
time. It won't be long before you can mosey yourselves back to playing tag
with the local creepy manifestations. Promise.
I've already wasted more 'n enough time already just getting into this crazy
place. Nice barrier you got here. No, really. And when I say nice, I mean
how do you make a fucking barrier with that big of an attitude problem?
Ever spent a month arguing with an energy field that has a mighty high
opinion of itself? It's just slightly less pleasant than banging
your head against a brick wall. All of the pain, but without the occasional
spats of unconsciousness to break it up.
And I ain't never seen a brick wall that talked as much as the thing you've
got here. 'Parently, I didn't strike it as young enough at first, so I get
the questions. "You got a job here?" Yes. "Then you're not young enough.
We're not letting adults in now." The hell, young enough? "You have to be
school aged to get in." I'm in fucking high school! "...How many times
were you held back?" Bastard.
Then maybe I was old enough, but it didn't like my attitude.
My. Attitude. I'll show it an attitude. Don't exactly know why it changed
its mind in the end, but damn sure I could live without a repeat of that.
Heh. There's no kind of security that could possibly be worth havin' that
thing around.
And what the hell kind of entrance leads straight into a swamp? Keh.
But I'm here now, and that's the important bit--gettin’ through in the end.
So anyone know where a guy can get cleaned up?
Canon: Okay, hypothetical situation.
Say one of your friends, your most important person,
was about to make a stupid mistake. So You go after
her. And you come across the people who seem bent on
thwarting you, one of which is a mouthy, cocky
shinigami. Any normal person (dead or alive) would
think:
" Who is this guy? Oh god let me have your body now!
FREE THE BANKAI! OH YES!"
... FINE. That probably wouldn't be your exact
thought.
I know I know. ONWARD CANON ONWARD.
Young Renji (along with Rukia) grew up as a street
orphan in the 78th district of Rukongai (In Soul
Socitey Land, think of it on a scale from 1 to 80, 80
being the worst).As they got older, the two of them
decided to become shinigami. It should be noted that
Renji entered into the top class as he rocked out at
the swordsmanship lessons. Then Rukia was adopted
into the most noble family of Snooty McEmo Von
Lookatmyhair Kuchiki. Cue the beginning of his Kuchiki
complex.
After graduating from the academy, it was time to be
relocated into a division. So after spending time with
both 5th and 11th Divisions (hay guys represent yo!),
he eventually became the vice-captain of the 6th
Division. UNDER KUCHIKI BYAKUYA.
So lots of stuff happened, involving Rukia, some guy
named Ichigo and a few of his friends. Blah Blah Blah.
Back towards the point. ABARAI RENJI. He's cocky,
confident, competitive, determined, loyal and spazzy
as hell. He tries to act cool, but really, he's such a
loveable ass.
Right. Let's just take time to explore this here
situation right now. I'm pretty sure I'm lost. WAIT.
No. You don't need to know that. What I meant was, my
idea of where exactly I am is..Vague. Vague and
unclear. "Try again later" Unclear. And how did this
happen to the reknowned vice-captain of the 6th
Division? Rukia drew me a map. Explains itself, don't
it?
I have a bad feeling about this. A feeling of doom and
uncomfortable situations and, if I'm lucky, free food.
Also, the second my feet touched the ground, the very
fucking second, my shades cracked in half and crumbled
to the ground. What. The. Fuck. I didn't even have
time to say anything yet.
Like I'm gonna stay here longer than I have to. Just
find the people on my missin persons list, get back,
do the paperwork and --
OW! MY ASS--! WHAT IN THE --! Uh, tree?
With...Balloons? I'm shocked. I can't think of
anything to say. ... Nope. Still got nothin...
OH, wait, no, I got it. Heh. I've seen a movie like
this before. Not with the tree cause what the fuck
would that movie be about? But with balloons. Cause
people would blow them and it would get longer and
then you could do stuff with them. Like make swords
and animals and bicycles and whatever the fuck you
wanted. Ha. I bet I'd be GREAT at that kind of stuff.
I've got natural talent.
...Those aren't balloons...
I think I fucking hate this place. Or, maybe I could
really start likin this place.
Poll Duplicate batch HOOO
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Lex Luthor
Series: Smallville
Age: 21 (season 1)
Canon: Billionaire, playboy, genius, Prince of Metropolis - Lex Luthor is the
enigmatic heir to the LuthorCorp fortune. Fresh out of a tour through the
Ivy League and a colorful collection of Europe’s top universities, Lex
returns home only to party like a rich kid and get himself into serious
legal trouble - earning the wrath of his truly evil father. Banished to
Smallville, Kansas as punishment for his immaturity, Lex is to learn
responsibility by running a LuthorCorp fertilizer plant. There he is saved
from a near fatal car accident by one mild mannered Clark Kent, and the
not-so-subtly-homoerotic friendship that forms progresses into a secret
fascination which is gradually becoming a dangerous obsession. Not only does
this chance meeting with the future Superman save his life, but also changes
his outlook, giving him a fresh view of existence and convincing him that
being dropped in Smallville to run the plant could be a blessing rather than
a curse.
Never letting down his careful guard, and putting out an affable and
charming face to the world, Lex hides careful scheming and deep seated
father issues behind a smiling face, cynical wit and a cocky swagger.
Although he fights desperately against his destiny, Lex is not meant to be a
good guy. Far too naturally cunning and lacking just a few too many moral
boundaries, he is a force to be reckoned with. A man with a curious mind
along with the brilliance, charisma, and money to back it up, Lex makes a
powerful friend, and a terrifying enemy.
It would figure that after opting to drive ten hours to an unknown location,
I would end up in a swamp in the middle of Moonshine, Louisiana.
It has become painfully clear to me in the past few hours that there is no
way a fertilizer plant could even conceivably be built at the coordinates
that my father gave to me. It may be a natural shit factory, but the
idea of building large scale mechanics is laughable. Once again, I find
myself exiled to the ends of civilization by a man who still believes that
sweeping me under the rug - or throwing me in a swamp - is acceptable
parenting.
Amazingly though, it would seem that even more neglectful families exist
than the Luthors. This corner of Louisiana appears to be a camp - somehow,
enough kids were sent here by their guardians to start a summer retreat. Who
puts themselves or their children in a situation like this willingly? I
actually passed a plant that tried to steal the pants off of my body,
proving that this may just be the antithesis of civilization.
And it's not that most of the people I’ve come across here could pass for
civilized. I assume these rough looking individuals I keep encountering are
the unfortunate recipients of my father’s special brand of research, mutated
somehow beyond the ability to speak coherently. These protestors of the new
factory, as I can only guess they are, have tried to assault me since the
moment of my arrival. I managed to lose them, but not before having to kick
one particularly tenacious assailant in the trachea.
In any case, I’m hoping that through this message I’ll be able to find an
acceptable place to stay until I can figure a way to make this unfortunate
situation work in my favor. “Making it work” may involve sedating the
restless locals and slashing and burning the kleptomaniacal shrubbery, but
it’s a hassle I’m willing to endure. The way I see it, I may not be able to
run the LuthorCorp factory here that I had imagined, but I can perhaps start
something even greater. My father will not bury me out here, and
he’ll be sorry he tried.
After all, you should never wound what you can’t kill.
Poll Vote!
Character: Clark Kent
Series: Smallville. Official site. Wikipedia entry.
Age: About 16 -- this Clark is taken from early season two.
Canon: One day, Clark Kent is going to be Superman. Right now, he's just your nowhere near average high school student, trying to be an ordinary teenager while coping with puberty. In Clark's case, this includes dealing with heat vision that is triggered whenever he feels ... hot, keeping up with his chores and the spaceship hidden in his family's storm cellar -- Clark, the only survivor of the planet Krypton, travelled to earth as an infant. Brought up to have a strong sense of social responsibility, Clark uses his abilities -- strength, speed, x-ray vision and heat vision -- to help people, a full time task in Smallville, a sleepy farming town where meteor fuelled mutations routinely cause havoc.
Described by close friend Chloe as having an innate sense of justice, Clark has two sides. On the one, he's a responsible, hardworking farm kid, who likes to believe the best of people, and who has an enduring hopeless crush on classmate Lana Lang. On the other, Clark is often forced to lie to his friends to protect himself, bitterly referring to himself as the Fort Knox of secrets. Even his relationship with his best friend - one Lex Luthor - is based on lies as much as it is on trust. This duality gets to Clark a lot, at which point he usually goes to brood in the barn. Clark's good at that.
Hey. I really hope I'm not interrupting anything. I heard a lot of people shouting 'married' earlier -- I'm not crashing a wedding, am I? Mom would kill me.
See, I need to use a phone. I found the phonebooth already but it doesn't seem to be functioning. Every time I dial it either times out or puts me on hold to the elevator version of 'Grateful Dead' music. Calling operator assistance was even worse. Okay, so we do market ourselves as Kent 's Organics, and I'm doing okay at school, so I don't mind being called a brain, but the sudden invitation to dinner? Not what I'd call professional. Also someone left their clothes in there, including bright blue leggings and what has to be the world's tackiest pair of briefs, but I'm trying to forget that. So. Any help?
You're kidding. No phones and we're in Louisiana ?
You're not kidding.
This is just great. Man, I hope Chloe doesn't find out about this. I can see the newspaper headlines now. Area boy, 16, breaks world record for most hopelessly lost individual on the face of the planet. Routine trip to deliver produce to neighboring farm ends in Louisiana swamp, three states away from the intended destination. Smallville High's social studies teacher is quoted as saying 'But Clark's always been so good at geography,' while close friends commented 'He must have been thinking about Lana again.'
... not that I was. But even if Lana had crossed my mind there's no law against that, and anyway, it's not like thinking about her had anything to do with my suddenly ending up in a swamp. People don't just develop the ability to teleport - Crap. I'm so dead.
... when Dad finds out what happened to the truck.
Freak twister! That's what it was! Picked up the truck and dumped me here. Happens all the time, just check the Discovery channel. No cable? Ever seen the movie Twister? Man, when they said climate change would effect weather patterns, they really weren't kidding -
... okay, this is going to sound weird but ... I think that phone booth is stalking me.
Poll Vote!
Character: Fuuma Yousuke
Series: Wedding Peach
Age: 14
Canon: Wedding Peach is the story of a young woman who fights crime! ...in a Western-stlye wedding dress.
Yousuke Fuuma, aside from being a soccer fanatic and the back-up goalie for the school's award-winning team, is also the son of the second-strongest demon in history. Unfortunately, he doesn't know that. He transforms into Viento, of the Rafaal tribe, after being doused in hate. After being attacked by a rogue Love Angel, he realizes who he is and all but abandons his angelic (literally; she's an angel) girlfriend, Momoko Hanasaki, whom he usually teases mercilessly and whom he calls "Momopi."
Somewhere beyond the rough speech and mockery, he truly does love her, in spite of that being detrimental to his demon power and self. Yet for some reason, that Love Wave doesn't stop him from becoming the second-most powerful, evil demon in the anime. Huh.
So they really are quite a bit like Romeo and Juliet, but only if Romeo ever decided that Juliet had a peach-shaped butt.
Huh. So what is this place? It's a little early for a sleepaway camp, isn't it? The only person who'd be fooled into coming here this early'd have to be ---
Momopi. Are you hiding out there?
Now, now, don't be shy. I know you're probably wondering why it took so long for someone else to come here, but there's an easy explanation for that one, Momopi, and even you can understand this one: It's still March.
So aside from that, what do you guys do around here? Sing songs 'round the campfire? That'd be a trip. I bet you all know the great, cheesy songs, too, and that you get to roast weenies.
...Not quite how I wanted that to sound. At all.
So, do you guys really do all that stuff here, or is this ---
Momoko, why are the hotdogs asking me to turn off my cellphone? And that had better not be a ---
Waitaminute.
Pineapples don't talk.
What the hell's goin' on around here?! Food's supposed to be food. If this is what happens when girls try to cook, count me out. I'll stick to the Kwik-Mart stuff.
...Once I register to vote with the pineapples. Little help here? Anyone?
Poll Vote!
Character: Nathan Maloney
Series: Queer as Folk UK [Wikipedia - IMDB]
Age: 15
Canon: Queer as Folk is a series about the relationships of people in Canal Street, Manchester's gay zone. All the characters are modeled after different gay archetypes: Nathan is the teenager new to the scene. Aside from the fact he was seduced and lost his virginity to Stuart Jones, 29-year old manslut, Nathan is pretty much your average fifteen year old boy. He snarks at his parents, likes angsty music and gossips with his best friend. He's also googly-eyed for Stuart and crushes on him like a schoolgirl.
As his surrogate mother says of Nathan, "some boys don't just come out of the closet, they explode." Nathan embraces the gay nightlife with great gusto, until that (and Stuart) become all he really talks about. Like his role model, Nathan becomes rather promiscuous, and is happiest when dancing to disco in clubs, or hanging out with Stuart's friends. Besides that, he's extremely self-absorbed, a drama queen, and sometimes not the brightest crayon in the box. On the other hand, he can be very charming and cute. But most of the time? He's a complete brat.
Hi! I'm Nathan. I've just got to this "survival camp," last night. I need somewhere to stay and someone to listen, 'cause yesterday? Yesterday was the worst day of my life.
I get dropped off, and these twats in the furry purple coats (is that the uniform? Mind you, it fits that camp uniforms look like they just came out of Elton John's closet) give me a box of barbecue matches and a camper enrollment quiz to go on my permanent record. But it was dead strange.
Like, one of the questions was, "In case of death, what would you prefer happen to your remains?: a. resurrected via moogle, b. resurrected by a camper, c. sent back home, d. given to Marcy to do as she wishes." I was going to ask the Elton fans if that was a joke until I read the next question, "How many gays does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" Don't suppose I've ever screwed in a lightbulb, but I bet Stuart could do it with five. And then I got to question 69, "Does this number make you giggle?" And it doesn't...! 'Cause I'm not a virgin, so of course not. Hee.
I stopped filling the quiz out, though, 'cause I realised the page had actually been printed off OKCupid and somebody had written CFUD aPtTitOOd tEst at the top with chunky red ink. So they took it from me and gave me a laptop and a shotgun. Is the gun still legal if I'm British?! You take this survival camp thing very seriously, you do!
Or that's what I thought until I saw that... What the hell is that, anyway? That Nessie thing in the lake. Everything was clear after I saw it. No wonder you lot are so flippant about death and the like! Nessie the Second was grabby like a bloke who's gone without a shag for years, so I did what any sane person would do in this situation: skip the niceties and run!
(I dropped all my bags on the way, and I've yet to find a pair of black boxers. If you see them, they're mine. And if you see GI Joe underwear, it's not mine. Anymore, at any rate.)
Poll Vote!
Character: Zatch Bell
Series: Zatch Bell
Age: Unknown, but looks and acts like a grade school kid.
Canon: Every thousand years 100 demons are sent to our world to do battle with each other in order to decide who will be their king. Friends are up against friends and even peaceful demons are forced into combat. Among the chosen in the latest round is an underdog named Zatch Bell. Zatch has vowed to try and win the tournament in order to become a kind king and hopefully stop the pointless fighting once and for all.
Obviously, the irony of beating the crap out of others in order to achieve peace is totally lost on him.
To be blunt, Zatch can be pretty dense. Since that's actually part of his youthful naivete it also comes with a powerful (and sometimes annoying) optimism. Friendship is very important to him, and he has a deep desire for peaceful coexistence among his kind. Due to his childish nature he's not exactly a beacon of maturity; he can be unreasonably stubborn and selfish when he wants to be. Overall, though, he's generally an agreeable kid whose favorite activities include playing, eating, and just plain being weird.
Uhm. Is it OK to eat the walking fish?
He's been dancing back and forth by the window for a reeeeally long time, and he looks soooo good. I haven't eaten anything since before I came here and he's my most favorite kind of fi--
Aaah! What am I saying? I can't eat a walking fish! He has shoes! If he has shoes, then that means he probably got them at a store. If he got them at a store then he probably has money! If he has money that means he has to have a job! If he has a job, then maybe he has a family! What if he has a bunch of baby walking fish at home that are waiting for him right now? I CAN'T EAT SOMEONE'S DAD!
...
Right! So! Camp! Aha! I've had fun so far! My name's Zatch Bell, and I really can't wait to meet all of you! This place is kinda strange, but it's not all that bad. I've seen all different types of people here, and I think I've even started learning some of your special words! 'Emo' has something to do with having to fart, but not being able to, right? Since people don't seem to like it, and always talk about being 'filled' with it. I think that's right! Anyway, I always like meeting new peop-- now he's doing cartwheels. Oh, man ... is he holding a... a soy sauce container?!
HoldonI'llberightback!
...
Ahhh. I feel much better! Now... what was I talking about, again?
Poll Vote!
Character: Death of the Endless
Series: The Sandman comics, written
by Neil Gaiman and published by DC Vertigo.
Age: As old as the universe, but appears to be somewhere in her mid to late teens.
Canon: The Endless are seven anthropomorphic personifications
of essential aspects of the universe: they are, from oldest to youngest,
Destiny, Death, Dream, Destruction (ret.), Desire, Despair (they're
twins!) and Delirium.
Death's symbol is an ankh, which she usually wears around her neck.
Long ago, she was gloomy and nihilistic, but these days she has a sunny,
candid personality that cuts through the crap. Of her family, she was
closest to Dream and Delirium, but after the events of the Sandman
series, her relationship with Dream may have changed.
She meets everyone twice: once when they are born, and once when they
die, although no one remembers their first encounter. And, once a
century, "Death takes on mortal flesh, to better comprehend what the
lives she takes must feel like, to taste the bitter tang of mortality:
this is the price she must pay for being the divider of the living from
all that has gone before and all that must come after." She does not
know the destination of those who die, only escorts them into her realm,
the Sunless Lands. What happens next is up to them.
Death collects floppy hats, and has two goldfish, Slim and Wandsworth.
She likes the movie "Mary Poppins", apples, and hot dogs. All character
references made with player permission. And yes, I have read all the
Wednesday Addams-as-Death threads.
You know, I really like the way the lake glow reflects on the leaves of
the trees. It's pretty. And the zombies add that extra touch of
atmosphere. Anyway, hi, everybody! I'm glad to be out and about at
last. I imagine I look familiar to some of you. Those of you who
recognize me... you know why you recognize me. Those of you who don't,
well, don't worry about it. I've been around. You just haven't seen me.
I'm here to talk about severe abuse of the moogle system. Remember,
multiple lifetimes are not a luxury you're going to have outside of
camp. You don't want to get into the habit of doing idiotic things just
because you think, "Hey, I'll save and reset my life!" Next thing you
know, you're at home and challenging someone to mortal combat because
they insulted your arts and crafts, and you've forgotten you can't reset
anymore. Do you really want your tombstone to read "Here lies Quincy
Archer John Doe, died for garter stitch"?
I didn't think so.
And because every coin has two sides, I'd also like to talk about
murderous rampages. Now, I understand that for some people they're
cathartic, and for some people, they're a lot of fun. Occasionally,
they're even both. But you have to think about the overtime it
generates. Do you know how difficult it is to shepherd hundreds of
bewildered weeping shades on to the next plane of existence? It's a
little easier when it's zombies slaughtered en masse, because when I get
to them, the first thing they say is generally, "Ackthwpterrgh," which
translates, more or less, to "It's about time." But sand people?
Villagers? Extraterrestrials? I had a headache for weeks.
Anyway. Enough about my problems. Two things to begin with. First, if
you see a girl about my age with multi-colored hair, one blue eye, and
one green eye, please be nice to her. For your own sake. Second, I'd
like to see the following people for a little chat: Ishida Uryuu, Nishi
Jouichirou, Anakin Skywalker, and Cho Hakkai. Don't worry if you don't
have time at the moment.
I have all the time in the world.
Poll Vote!
Character: Abarai Renji
Series: Bleach
Age: Unknown, but he passes for a teenager.
Canon: Cocky and aggressive, with something to prove to
the world in general and to Rukia, Byakuya, and himself in specific. The
word complex comes to mind. And also the word inferiority.
Abarai Renji is a guy who went from the slums of Area 78 all the way the
Vice-Captain of the 6th Division, by way of the 5th and 11th Divisions. He
gained friends, respect, even a fanboy, none of which is enough to make him
forget either his origins, or how much he has left to accomplish. As a
result of his particular kind of confidence, he tends to underestimate
seemingly weak opponents and obsess over the strong ones. His voice varies
from swaggering, to harsh, to friendly easily, with bursts of temper and
angst regularly. For afternoon, expect showers of rivalry and some light
bitching.
Oi, can a guy...
Oi!
Oi! Can a guy maybe get a little attention around here? I'm sure
you guys are all nice 'n busy and all, but I don't plan on wasting too much
time. It won't be long before you can mosey yourselves back to playing tag
with the local creepy manifestations. Promise.
I've already wasted more 'n enough time already just getting into this crazy
place. Nice barrier you got here. No, really. And when I say nice, I mean
how do you make a fucking barrier with that big of an attitude problem?
Ever spent a month arguing with an energy field that has a mighty high
opinion of itself? It's just slightly less pleasant than banging
your head against a brick wall. All of the pain, but without the occasional
spats of unconsciousness to break it up.
And I ain't never seen a brick wall that talked as much as the thing you've
got here. 'Parently, I didn't strike it as young enough at first, so I get
the questions. "You got a job here?" Yes. "Then you're not young enough.
We're not letting adults in now." The hell, young enough? "You have to be
school aged to get in." I'm in fucking high school! "...How many times
were you held back?" Bastard.
Then maybe I was old enough, but it didn't like my attitude.
My. Attitude. I'll show it an attitude. Don't exactly know why it changed
its mind in the end, but damn sure I could live without a repeat of that.
Heh. There's no kind of security that could possibly be worth havin' that
thing around.
And what the hell kind of entrance leads straight into a swamp? Keh.
But I'm here now, and that's the important bit--gettin’ through in the end.
So anyone know where a guy can get cleaned up?
Canon: Okay, hypothetical situation.
Say one of your friends, your most important person,
was about to make a stupid mistake. So You go after
her. And you come across the people who seem bent on
thwarting you, one of which is a mouthy, cocky
shinigami. Any normal person (dead or alive) would
think:
" Who is this guy? Oh god let me have your body now!
FREE THE BANKAI! OH YES!"
... FINE. That probably wouldn't be your exact
thought.
I know I know. ONWARD CANON ONWARD.
Young Renji (along with Rukia) grew up as a street
orphan in the 78th district of Rukongai (In Soul
Socitey Land, think of it on a scale from 1 to 80, 80
being the worst).As they got older, the two of them
decided to become shinigami. It should be noted that
Renji entered into the top class as he rocked out at
the swordsmanship lessons. Then Rukia was adopted
into the most noble family of Snooty McEmo Von
Lookatmyhair Kuchiki. Cue the beginning of his Kuchiki
complex.
After graduating from the academy, it was time to be
relocated into a division. So after spending time with
both 5th and 11th Divisions (hay guys represent yo!),
he eventually became the vice-captain of the 6th
Division. UNDER KUCHIKI BYAKUYA.
So lots of stuff happened, involving Rukia, some guy
named Ichigo and a few of his friends. Blah Blah Blah.
Back towards the point. ABARAI RENJI. He's cocky,
confident, competitive, determined, loyal and spazzy
as hell. He tries to act cool, but really, he's such a
loveable ass.
Right. Let's just take time to explore this here
situation right now. I'm pretty sure I'm lost. WAIT.
No. You don't need to know that. What I meant was, my
idea of where exactly I am is..Vague. Vague and
unclear. "Try again later" Unclear. And how did this
happen to the reknowned vice-captain of the 6th
Division? Rukia drew me a map. Explains itself, don't
it?
I have a bad feeling about this. A feeling of doom and
uncomfortable situations and, if I'm lucky, free food.
Also, the second my feet touched the ground, the very
fucking second, my shades cracked in half and crumbled
to the ground. What. The. Fuck. I didn't even have
time to say anything yet.
Like I'm gonna stay here longer than I have to. Just
find the people on my missin persons list, get back,
do the paperwork and --
OW! MY ASS--! WHAT IN THE --! Uh, tree?
With...Balloons? I'm shocked. I can't think of
anything to say. ... Nope. Still got nothin...
OH, wait, no, I got it. Heh. I've seen a movie like
this before. Not with the tree cause what the fuck
would that movie be about? But with balloons. Cause
people would blow them and it would get longer and
then you could do stuff with them. Like make swords
and animals and bicycles and whatever the fuck you
wanted. Ha. I bet I'd be GREAT at that kind of stuff.
I've got natural talent.
...Those aren't balloons...
I think I fucking hate this place. Or, maybe I could
really start likin this place.
Poll Duplicate batch HOOO