(no subject)
THE LAST ROOOOOOOUND IS HERE info about the next will go up soon! We got campers this time yay.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED!
Character: Caroline Wexler
Series: Daydream Nation
Character Age: 17
Canon: Daydream Nation is a film about a precocious, intelligent high school girl who strikes up a relationship with her English teacher and eventually leaves him, along the way saving a stoner, breaking some hearts, having her blasé personal philosophy challenged and running her car into the right person at the right time with gory yet karmic results.
Typically manifesting a laid-back, dryly humorous persona of cultivated jaded experience, Caroline Wexler is nonetheless as tempestuous as any other average teenage girl. She's smart and occasionally self-superior, being archly well-spoken, well-read, and confident in her opinions. Like many adolescents she's more or less convinced she knows everything, and she's sharp enough and possessing wide enough horizons to pull it off most of the time, and mature enough to be relatively graceful about getting called out or being in the wrong. She's lively, self-assured and self-aware, kind and straight-forward - but she can also be a right acerbic bitch when hurt or offended, petulant and impulsive when displeased, thoughtless and self-centered and merciless. When people dislike her, her knee-jerk response is to defend herself not by reaching out but by aggressively returning fire, behaving in a "weird" and standoffish and elitist manner. She's as curious and playful as a cat, and delighted by new things. She refuses to settle for anything and she goes decisively for what she wants.
Sample Post: Camp, I'm gonna be honest, because let's face it there's not much point in being anything but - no tactfully rubbing elbows with the undead and all your incredibly creepy little holiday presents would be pointless to suck up to or complain at on account of they don't freaking think. Or hear. Apparently they occasionally twitch or change wrapping but mostly they seem to exert magical influence over hapless citizens, good job.
And my opinion is that you're a prude. What kind of diabolical mastermind locks a bunch of people up, plays regular incredibly juvenile rounds of, like, telekinetic Spin The Bottle and takes off clothes and zaps you into somebody else's bed, for god's sake, but doesn't let you fuck? This isn't funny. I'm as fond of small animals as the next person, guys, but not enough to inhabit one. I bet the frickin' fur would get everywhere, and I am not wiping my ass with my tongue.
It's not like it's boring here, at least. Could be worse, could be home sweet home, where everyone is stoned or repressed unless they're serial killers. Then again, the worst thing that could happen to you there was pretty much seizures and foaming if you were dumb enough to inhale drain cleaners - thanks, Paul, for that public safety message - whereas the worst thing that could happen to me here is getting eaten alive. Gee, wonder how that one shakes out?
Whatever else you can say about this experience, I now have firsthand proof that I am sufficiently socially conditioned by cheap horror flicks for my first response to decayed locomotion to be to run for the fucking hills.
Poll Vote!
Character: Josh Foley/Elixir
Series: X-Men (comics universe)
Character’s Age: 16
Canon: The Marvel Universe is a vast and interesting world full of people with amazing abilities who run around fighting evil and righting misdeeds all while wearing interesting shades of spandex. One such group of crime fighters is the X-Men- a group almost universally despised, not because of acts they have committed but because the members are born different. They are a part of a new race of people known as mutants, a next step forward on the evolutionary path. But their abilities and physical differences have engendered nothing but suspicion and bigotry amongst the majority non-powered masses.
Initially impulsive and prone to immature behavior, after the events that caused the decimation of the mutant race and the death of many of his classmates at the Xavier Institute, Josh Foley has matured as a person. Embracing a pacifistic lifestyle, he has sought to improve himself and his understanding of his powers of biological manipulation through study and the help of a telepathic brain drain that imbued him with a PhD level of knowledge of the fields of anatomy, physiology and biology. With the shake up across the Marvel universe that has meant nothing but continuous trouble for mutants, Josh- much against his wishes to focus his abilities solely towards healing others- soon finds himself drafted onto an all too different sort of X-men team. One that specializes in acts of espionage and assassination (the flipside to Josh’s abilities being that he is also capable of harming or killing someone with a single touch- much to his dismay). Not really the most ideal place for a peace loving kid who’s afraid of hurting people to be.
Note: Josh is being taken right after X-Force v3 #17.
Sample Post:
Okay, so I’m not really sure how this happened but somehow coming to in a corn field in what I can only assume is the Midwest after being prodded awake by a couple of purple gorillas and a flock of toucans... I mean that probably seems like a sign that somebody might be experiencing a break from reality right? Like you would think it wouldn’t get any weirder than that. But you would be wrong, because right after entertaining that thought would be when the telepathic, telepathic toucans informed me that I was here to administer the "Annual-if-we-feel-like-I-guess-first-or-eleventh-we’re-not-sure PSA on Flu prevention". I know, right? Almost seems anticlimactic. Not that I’m complaining, but sadly this is not my first abduction and most of those in the past have been much, much more climactic. Like waking up in Hell climactic. Again: not complaining.
I mean, I guess I would be a good resource to turn to on the subject, though lately I’ve been more of a... field medicine kind of guy. Haven’t had much of a chance to deal with things like ear infections and the stomach flu these days, I’ve mostly been handling injuries like compound fractures and gunshot wounds, and once notably a terminal brain tumor. Though admittedly I was the one who gave that person that same tumor- sorry, you know what? I’m not really allowed to talk about like, any of this. Top secret, I think they’d probably kill me if they found out. Likely, likely would kill me if they found out. So uh, moving on and getting back to the matter at hand, it looks like this place is kind of intent on running this flu campaign since they even provided me with some notes to check over first. Some of them seem pretty interesting actually, like ‘What to do when your nose turns blue and other signs it’s worse than you thought’, ‘Does stop, drop and roll still work if it’s my fever that causes me to catch on fire?’ and ‘What should I do if a zombie coughs on me?’
Okay, that last one I wasn’t expecting but now that I’m coming into what looks more like the camp proper those definitely appear to be extras from Dawn of the Dead moving amongst the corn stalks. Jeez, between this and the impenetrable barrier around the camp and the crazy director I’m hearing about, it’s almost enough to remind a guy of home.
... Yeah, that didn’t seem all that reassuring to me either.
Poll Vote!
Character: Gracia
Series: Samurai Warriors 3Z
Character Age: Teenaged
Canon: The Sengoku Era of Japan was already a turbulent time. The lands were divided among various warlords and wars between each clans were as common as natural disasters. And how could anyone even make it worse? By adding in light saber and floating orbs, apparently. The result of that unholy union is Samurai Warriors, a series of hack-slash game by Koei. The game’s general story modes follow each individual people in the Sengoku Era and their quests to reunite Japan. Some for their ambition, some for peace. One of the most most prominent faction in that era is the Oda clan. Lead by Nobunaga, this clan intends to seize total control of Japan, thereby giving the land stability and peace, and its leader will use any means necessary to achieve it.
Graca is the daughter of one of the Oda clan retainers, Akechi Mitsuhide. After seeing her father participate in wars in order to create a land without wars, Gracia begins to wonder the logic behind that apparent contradiction. Full of curiosity, she decides the best way for her to understand that is to go see the world and by extension, the battles with her own eyes. A bit brash and childish, Gracia isn’t very knowledgeable about the world due to her sheltered upbringing, and consequently, occasionally takes various statements literally at times. Her naivety, combining with her eagerness to learn more about the world, compels her to bombard everyone with questions about anything she finds interesting. Eager to befriend other people, Gracia takes the subject of friendship quite seriously. Friends are forever, after all, and she’ll stick with them until the end, willing to risk her own life if it means she could help them somehow.
Note: Gracia has a very, very, serious form of greetings she reserves for her friends--aka fist-bumps.
You know, when I first heard of this camp, I thought it was really strange. Why would anyone build a camp at a farm? More importantly, why would they name it C-FUD? Is it supposed to be Sea Food? Then, why would that be a name of a camp at a farm? Are they farming fishes here? The more I think about it, the more puzzling this camp gets. So I made up my mind; I am going to see with my own eyes how this C-FUD camp is really like!
And when I arrived here, I really thought I was going to see some fishes here. What I ended up seeing, however, is not just how there aren’t any at all… but how mean you are to each other! That’s right; I saw how that giant monkey and bird there bullied that person by playing fetch with his arms! Or how he then later tried to bully that other creature called Moogles by gnawing on them. Aren’t you all supposed to be working together? I know that it’s hard to work with so many different people, but... it’s just not right to fight for no reason. Why don’t you all try to understand the other party? Maybe you can even be friends afterwards, too! There are really no excuses for all of you to not learn how to be friends, okay? And I’m going to teach you how now, starting with you, Marcy.
Oh, I’m so glad that you agree. I knew someone would understand. Hmm, since I heard that the way your try to greet other people by embracing them makes it looks like you’re trying to attack them, why don’t I teach you how I greet friends, then? Now I know that as an... octopus, right? It’s not easy being up there alone, but trust me, this is really easy to do; you just need to bump your fists-- or in your case, tentacle with the other person’s. Ah, so you get it, then? All right, Blurgh, please go hit her tentacle with one of your fists!
Ah, Blurgh, why won’t you get close to her while you do it? I mean, I did tell you to hit it with your fist, definitely, but... that’s not how it works. You have to hit it when your fist is still attached to your arm, and not throw it like that!
Tell me, Blurgh, are you refusing to get close to her because you think she’s scary? If that’s what you think, then I have to tell you that I think she’s actually a nice person! Although she might have been a little angry before, it was natural because she probably misunderstood and came here, thinking that this place was supposed to be related to the sea like I did.Try to understand how lonely she must feel, being so far away from everyone and... Ah, I get it now! The reason she tries to embrace everyone is because she just wants someone to talk to! If that’s the case, then all we have to do is to show that we’re willing to be her friends by embracing her back. Let’s go everyone!
--Eh, why won’t any of you move at all? Are you trying to say you don’t believe me? Hmph, well, in that case, I’ll prove it myself! Marcy, from this moment on, you’re my friend! And I’m not going to let them think that you’re a bad person any longer.
So come and embrace me, Marcy! We’ll show them what it’s like to be friends!
Poll Vote!
Character: America
Series: Hetalia
Character Age: Appears 19, but is really 235.
Canon: In a world much like our own, countries make treaties, grand overtures, fight, and sometimes have special relationships... And they also spend time complaining about England’s cooking and America’s horrible sense of taste. Sometimes, America tries to sell Japan hair straighteners just because. So maybe this world isn’t really like ours at all, because the countries are actually people with real personalities. And while we do have some pretty wacky things happen in the world (I’m looking at you, Miss USA 2010), there’s nothing that quite compares to France’s April Fools.
In Hetalia, America is a grand, boisterous country that has a little bit of a weight issue. (Don’t worry, he’s on a diet!) While he is quick to remind everyone of how important he is as the hero, his seemingly arrogant attitude isn’t really quick to win him any friends. But, it’s really because he has a pretty childlike view of the world, with all the boundless energy and optimism to go with it. And it might help that he has no concept of not sticking his nose in everyone’s business, nor does he really understand that sometimes people feel differently than he does about, oh, everything ever. At least he means well, right?
Sample Post:
Alright, everyone, listen up! I didn’t see anyone taking charge, so I held a vote with myself and elected myself leader! For those who aren’t aware, we’re in a zombie apocalypse, and the only way we’re going to make it out alive is if we band together! So, really, a leader is a good idea! You’ll see. We’ll make it out of here alive, and make it back to the America that I love and am!
First things first, we need someone with the right qualifications to be our medical team! What are the right qualifications, you ask? Well, that’s a good question! Some people would say you need to have a the will to help, a tough spirit, the medical knowledge, and lots and lots of TP! But those people are wrong. We need people who can make good choices. We don’t try to heal zombies! All they’ll do is leech off of taxpayer’s brains, and if there is one thing I won’t abide, it’s freeloading zombies! If they’re going to have our brains, they’re going to have to work for every one of them.
Next, we need builders and architects to construct a huge wall to keep the zombies out. Maybe even electrify it. I’m thinking the wall should be 9 feet tall, 9 meters thick, and 9 miles long. I’ve simplified the wall code and called it the 9-9-9 plan! If China can do it, then damn it, so can we! You don’t even need to ask what I’d do for you, so tell me what you can do for me! Listen to me, not to the zombies that claim the only answer is through becoming one of them. We can still save this land! We will sacrifice and work hard, and it will all pay off in the end! Unless it doesn’t, but like that’s going to happen.
With hard work, we’ll be among the 99% that survive tonight. With careful planning, we’ll have 53% with all limbs intact. And with any luck, we’ll be part of the 1% that saves the planet. We can’t wait! Thank you, and God Bless!
Poll Vote!
Character: Spike
Series: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Age: Dragon (baby)
Canon: What do you get when you ask a talented animator/writer to update your mega-merchandised franchise for today's youth? Well, if you're Hasbro and that animator/writer is Lauren Faust, then you get a natural-20 critical hit in the form of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, the cartoon that's taken the Internet by pegasus-guided storm. Girl or boy, young or old, almost everyone seems to be able to enjoy the adventures of Twilight Sparkle, an asocial bookworm of a unicorn whose mentor, Princess Celestia, sends her to the little town of Ponyville to make friends. (And, incidentally, save all of Equestria from an ancient evil.) In each episode, Twilight and her newfound friends learn a little lesson about the magic of friendship, and they manage to be pretty darn entertaining and heartwarming along the way.
Twilight is assisted in all of these endeavors by a little purple dragon named Spike. Despite being only a baby dragon, Spike is surprisingly capable and eager to help. His main task is to send Twilight's letters and reports to Princess Celestia (by burning them with his magical fire breath); he also burps up Celestia's replies, in a fashion rather less dignified. But beyond this, he can be found cooking or cleaning, gathering up supplies, recording and checking Twilight's massive to-do lists... And when Twilight is too freaked out or otherwise occupied to play the Only Sane Pony, Spike is quick to fill the space with all the snark and common sense he can muster. He does act like a thoughtless boy at times, teasing his friends or complaining that something is too girly, and he has the occasional bouts of clumsiness or fear. But on the whole, Spike is the most loyal assistant you could ask for -- as long as you don't mind his early bedtime and his requests for gemstones to snack on.
Sample Post:
Look, I'm telling you for the last time, I'm looking for Twilight Sparkle. Sparkle! No S at the end! It's somepony's name! So cut it out with that stupid glittery stuff! I dunno what it is, but it tastes terrible, and if you keep tossing it in my face, I... I-I'm gonna... ah -- AH-CHOO!!
... Uh-oh. I really hope I didn't just send a zombie to Princess Celestia.
Well, that thing was no help at all. I mean, yeah, zombies are known for eating brains more than having them, but I didn't expect it to be so stupid. I guess that's better than a smart zombie, though... Gulp. Maybe I better move on down the checklist for now. Let's see, "Find the camp," check. "Find Twilight..." Ehhh, half-check. "Replenish her... quill and parchment supplies?" Oh, boy. This is gonna be an all-day affair.
Doesn't seem to be a quill store anywhere around here, so I guess I'm gonna have to do it the hard way. C'mon, feathers, feathers... Oh, those could work! Hey! You colorful birds up there! Do you think I could get my claws on those gorgeous tailfeathers of yours? I just need to -- hey, where are you going? Come back! ...Was it something I said?
Alright, fine, minor setback! I'll just try those ducks over at the water trough next! That should at least be enough to get us through a few days' worth of checklists. I hope. Uh, excuse me? Do you have any feathers you're not using? Er, wearing? Let me start over. I need some quills for my friend, Twilight Sparkle. Do you think you could help? You will? Great! Don't worry, I'm sure this won't hurt a bit. I'll just pluck this one right... here!
Whoa, did you just breathe fire? I guess it must have hurt after all, but that was awesome! My name's Spike, dragon and fellow fire-breather. Pleased to meet you all! Hey, why don't I show you a trick I can do with mine? Just take an ordinary scroll, roll it up, and... whoosh! Instant delivery all the way across Equestria! Not bad, eh?
... And that was my checklist, wasn't it? I knew I should've stayed in bed.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kai
Series: Samurai Warriors 3
Character Age: ~18ish
Canon: Samurai, ninja, and bears, oh my! Samurai Warriors 3 is the latest installment in Koei's Samurai Warriors series, bringing with it new characters, new stories, and a new twist on old history. As area warlords fight for power, love, and Japanese kickball, the game weaves a (surprisingly accurate!) tale of the men and women of that time who spent their lives in the pursuit of peace. Of course, like all video games, this one might embellish the details, such as spears that shoot cannonballs, killer shamisen, and the ability to ride a bear into battle.
Lady Kai is, in fact, sometimes compared to bears, to the point of being called "bear woman" by more than one person. She is not unlike them: ferocious, deadly, likes to eat honey, headbutts things... Bold, brave and rough around the edges, Kai wants nothing more than to support her lord, Hojo Ujiyasu, in his question to unite Japan. Unfortunately this means that she also must devote her life to the ways of war and everything that comes with it, training as hard as she can to succeed on the battlefield, better than any man! Sometimes, however, all she really wants is to dress up prettily, kick back, marry a handsome man, and have a good, relaxing life. Maybe if she'd been born in a peaceful time, she could have! And maybe she'd get this anyway if she stopped yelling and insulting those she's supposed to be allied with.
Sample Post:
You know... I've seen a lot of rookies in my time, but this training camp's gotta have the greenest soldiers ever. They're literally green-- shaking so hard in their boots they're fallin' out of 'em! I know my lord wouldn't send me someplace where I couldn't be useful, but it's gonna take a lot of hard work and more than a whip or two to get these guys into shape.
And trust me, I've got just the whip for you...! Iron, segmented, can become a sword... I know it's a little weird, but it's ladylike, okay?! As lady-like as one gets around this place at least. And while I might not know ladylike as much as others, I can tell you that all this shambling, shuffling movement you've going on is not going to do. Head back, chin up, put your chest out there and reach for your sword-- YOUR SWORD, not your pants. I'm a lady, if you pull that sword outta your pants, I am gonna have to smack you one.
Never you mind, let's just.. start with the basics for now, all right?! Maybe when you can do a little more than just waving your arm around - even with your other arm! - you can move onto the more advanced weapons You know, like spears. Two spears. Even cannon spears. Or maybe... maybe a glowing green ball could work for you? I know one guy who looks kinda like you who can work wonders with the thing. You know him?
No, no that's no good, Kai. It's too complicated for these guys, isn't it... They really don't seem interested in that kinda ball. Think, think! What would he do... no, what would she do... That's it...!
We should start small. Real small. Ninja small. What could go wrong with giving them a couple of knives and letting them go to town? They'll probably have some problems being sneaky with that smell, but they've definitely gotta be better than some of the ninja I've seen in my time. What kinda ninja wears light, bright clothes?! Even if I kinda wonder if they'd use the knives for chopping up their enemies for dinner instead of in a fight...
Well, whatever. So let's get going, trainees...! I'm not going to let a little thing like the new troops literally falling apart get in the way of fulfilling my duties! So if you think you can stop me from getting what I want, you're dead wrong. Deader wrong? So you'd better be prepared to train with me until you can't walk anymore. This time from pain, not because of a lack of legs...! And don't think you can pull a fast one on me. You try to cheat or sneak away or get yourself eaten just to hide... I'll hit you so hard your head will fall off.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me why I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED!
Character: Caroline Wexler
Series: Daydream Nation
Character Age: 17
Canon: Daydream Nation is a film about a precocious, intelligent high school girl who strikes up a relationship with her English teacher and eventually leaves him, along the way saving a stoner, breaking some hearts, having her blasé personal philosophy challenged and running her car into the right person at the right time with gory yet karmic results.
Typically manifesting a laid-back, dryly humorous persona of cultivated jaded experience, Caroline Wexler is nonetheless as tempestuous as any other average teenage girl. She's smart and occasionally self-superior, being archly well-spoken, well-read, and confident in her opinions. Like many adolescents she's more or less convinced she knows everything, and she's sharp enough and possessing wide enough horizons to pull it off most of the time, and mature enough to be relatively graceful about getting called out or being in the wrong. She's lively, self-assured and self-aware, kind and straight-forward - but she can also be a right acerbic bitch when hurt or offended, petulant and impulsive when displeased, thoughtless and self-centered and merciless. When people dislike her, her knee-jerk response is to defend herself not by reaching out but by aggressively returning fire, behaving in a "weird" and standoffish and elitist manner. She's as curious and playful as a cat, and delighted by new things. She refuses to settle for anything and she goes decisively for what she wants.
Sample Post: Camp, I'm gonna be honest, because let's face it there's not much point in being anything but - no tactfully rubbing elbows with the undead and all your incredibly creepy little holiday presents would be pointless to suck up to or complain at on account of they don't freaking think. Or hear. Apparently they occasionally twitch or change wrapping but mostly they seem to exert magical influence over hapless citizens, good job.
And my opinion is that you're a prude. What kind of diabolical mastermind locks a bunch of people up, plays regular incredibly juvenile rounds of, like, telekinetic Spin The Bottle and takes off clothes and zaps you into somebody else's bed, for god's sake, but doesn't let you fuck? This isn't funny. I'm as fond of small animals as the next person, guys, but not enough to inhabit one. I bet the frickin' fur would get everywhere, and I am not wiping my ass with my tongue.
It's not like it's boring here, at least. Could be worse, could be home sweet home, where everyone is stoned or repressed unless they're serial killers. Then again, the worst thing that could happen to you there was pretty much seizures and foaming if you were dumb enough to inhale drain cleaners - thanks, Paul, for that public safety message - whereas the worst thing that could happen to me here is getting eaten alive. Gee, wonder how that one shakes out?
Whatever else you can say about this experience, I now have firsthand proof that I am sufficiently socially conditioned by cheap horror flicks for my first response to decayed locomotion to be to run for the fucking hills.
Poll Vote!
Character: Josh Foley/Elixir
Series: X-Men (comics universe)
Character’s Age: 16
Canon: The Marvel Universe is a vast and interesting world full of people with amazing abilities who run around fighting evil and righting misdeeds all while wearing interesting shades of spandex. One such group of crime fighters is the X-Men- a group almost universally despised, not because of acts they have committed but because the members are born different. They are a part of a new race of people known as mutants, a next step forward on the evolutionary path. But their abilities and physical differences have engendered nothing but suspicion and bigotry amongst the majority non-powered masses.
Initially impulsive and prone to immature behavior, after the events that caused the decimation of the mutant race and the death of many of his classmates at the Xavier Institute, Josh Foley has matured as a person. Embracing a pacifistic lifestyle, he has sought to improve himself and his understanding of his powers of biological manipulation through study and the help of a telepathic brain drain that imbued him with a PhD level of knowledge of the fields of anatomy, physiology and biology. With the shake up across the Marvel universe that has meant nothing but continuous trouble for mutants, Josh- much against his wishes to focus his abilities solely towards healing others- soon finds himself drafted onto an all too different sort of X-men team. One that specializes in acts of espionage and assassination (the flipside to Josh’s abilities being that he is also capable of harming or killing someone with a single touch- much to his dismay). Not really the most ideal place for a peace loving kid who’s afraid of hurting people to be.
Note: Josh is being taken right after X-Force v3 #17.
Sample Post:
Okay, so I’m not really sure how this happened but somehow coming to in a corn field in what I can only assume is the Midwest after being prodded awake by a couple of purple gorillas and a flock of toucans... I mean that probably seems like a sign that somebody might be experiencing a break from reality right? Like you would think it wouldn’t get any weirder than that. But you would be wrong, because right after entertaining that thought would be when the telepathic, telepathic toucans informed me that I was here to administer the "Annual-if-we-feel-like-I-guess-first-or-eleventh-we’re-not-sure PSA on Flu prevention". I know, right? Almost seems anticlimactic. Not that I’m complaining, but sadly this is not my first abduction and most of those in the past have been much, much more climactic. Like waking up in Hell climactic. Again: not complaining.
I mean, I guess I would be a good resource to turn to on the subject, though lately I’ve been more of a... field medicine kind of guy. Haven’t had much of a chance to deal with things like ear infections and the stomach flu these days, I’ve mostly been handling injuries like compound fractures and gunshot wounds, and once notably a terminal brain tumor. Though admittedly I was the one who gave that person that same tumor- sorry, you know what? I’m not really allowed to talk about like, any of this. Top secret, I think they’d probably kill me if they found out. Likely, likely would kill me if they found out. So uh, moving on and getting back to the matter at hand, it looks like this place is kind of intent on running this flu campaign since they even provided me with some notes to check over first. Some of them seem pretty interesting actually, like ‘What to do when your nose turns blue and other signs it’s worse than you thought’, ‘Does stop, drop and roll still work if it’s my fever that causes me to catch on fire?’ and ‘What should I do if a zombie coughs on me?’
Okay, that last one I wasn’t expecting but now that I’m coming into what looks more like the camp proper those definitely appear to be extras from Dawn of the Dead moving amongst the corn stalks. Jeez, between this and the impenetrable barrier around the camp and the crazy director I’m hearing about, it’s almost enough to remind a guy of home.
... Yeah, that didn’t seem all that reassuring to me either.
Poll Vote!
Character: Gracia
Series: Samurai Warriors 3Z
Character Age: Teenaged
Canon: The Sengoku Era of Japan was already a turbulent time. The lands were divided among various warlords and wars between each clans were as common as natural disasters. And how could anyone even make it worse? By adding in light saber and floating orbs, apparently. The result of that unholy union is Samurai Warriors, a series of hack-slash game by Koei. The game’s general story modes follow each individual people in the Sengoku Era and their quests to reunite Japan. Some for their ambition, some for peace. One of the most most prominent faction in that era is the Oda clan. Lead by Nobunaga, this clan intends to seize total control of Japan, thereby giving the land stability and peace, and its leader will use any means necessary to achieve it.
Graca is the daughter of one of the Oda clan retainers, Akechi Mitsuhide. After seeing her father participate in wars in order to create a land without wars, Gracia begins to wonder the logic behind that apparent contradiction. Full of curiosity, she decides the best way for her to understand that is to go see the world and by extension, the battles with her own eyes. A bit brash and childish, Gracia isn’t very knowledgeable about the world due to her sheltered upbringing, and consequently, occasionally takes various statements literally at times. Her naivety, combining with her eagerness to learn more about the world, compels her to bombard everyone with questions about anything she finds interesting. Eager to befriend other people, Gracia takes the subject of friendship quite seriously. Friends are forever, after all, and she’ll stick with them until the end, willing to risk her own life if it means she could help them somehow.
Note: Gracia has a very, very, serious form of greetings she reserves for her friends--aka fist-bumps.
You know, when I first heard of this camp, I thought it was really strange. Why would anyone build a camp at a farm? More importantly, why would they name it C-FUD? Is it supposed to be Sea Food? Then, why would that be a name of a camp at a farm? Are they farming fishes here? The more I think about it, the more puzzling this camp gets. So I made up my mind; I am going to see with my own eyes how this C-FUD camp is really like!
And when I arrived here, I really thought I was going to see some fishes here. What I ended up seeing, however, is not just how there aren’t any at all… but how mean you are to each other! That’s right; I saw how that giant monkey and bird there bullied that person by playing fetch with his arms! Or how he then later tried to bully that other creature called Moogles by gnawing on them. Aren’t you all supposed to be working together? I know that it’s hard to work with so many different people, but... it’s just not right to fight for no reason. Why don’t you all try to understand the other party? Maybe you can even be friends afterwards, too! There are really no excuses for all of you to not learn how to be friends, okay? And I’m going to teach you how now, starting with you, Marcy.
Oh, I’m so glad that you agree. I knew someone would understand. Hmm, since I heard that the way your try to greet other people by embracing them makes it looks like you’re trying to attack them, why don’t I teach you how I greet friends, then? Now I know that as an... octopus, right? It’s not easy being up there alone, but trust me, this is really easy to do; you just need to bump your fists-- or in your case, tentacle with the other person’s. Ah, so you get it, then? All right, Blurgh, please go hit her tentacle with one of your fists!
Ah, Blurgh, why won’t you get close to her while you do it? I mean, I did tell you to hit it with your fist, definitely, but... that’s not how it works. You have to hit it when your fist is still attached to your arm, and not throw it like that!
Tell me, Blurgh, are you refusing to get close to her because you think she’s scary? If that’s what you think, then I have to tell you that I think she’s actually a nice person! Although she might have been a little angry before, it was natural because she probably misunderstood and came here, thinking that this place was supposed to be related to the sea like I did.Try to understand how lonely she must feel, being so far away from everyone and... Ah, I get it now! The reason she tries to embrace everyone is because she just wants someone to talk to! If that’s the case, then all we have to do is to show that we’re willing to be her friends by embracing her back. Let’s go everyone!
--Eh, why won’t any of you move at all? Are you trying to say you don’t believe me? Hmph, well, in that case, I’ll prove it myself! Marcy, from this moment on, you’re my friend! And I’m not going to let them think that you’re a bad person any longer.
So come and embrace me, Marcy! We’ll show them what it’s like to be friends!
Poll Vote!
Character: America
Series: Hetalia
Character Age: Appears 19, but is really 235.
Canon: In a world much like our own, countries make treaties, grand overtures, fight, and sometimes have special relationships... And they also spend time complaining about England’s cooking and America’s horrible sense of taste. Sometimes, America tries to sell Japan hair straighteners just because. So maybe this world isn’t really like ours at all, because the countries are actually people with real personalities. And while we do have some pretty wacky things happen in the world (I’m looking at you, Miss USA 2010), there’s nothing that quite compares to France’s April Fools.
In Hetalia, America is a grand, boisterous country that has a little bit of a weight issue. (Don’t worry, he’s on a diet!) While he is quick to remind everyone of how important he is as the hero, his seemingly arrogant attitude isn’t really quick to win him any friends. But, it’s really because he has a pretty childlike view of the world, with all the boundless energy and optimism to go with it. And it might help that he has no concept of not sticking his nose in everyone’s business, nor does he really understand that sometimes people feel differently than he does about, oh, everything ever. At least he means well, right?
Sample Post:
Alright, everyone, listen up! I didn’t see anyone taking charge, so I held a vote with myself and elected myself leader! For those who aren’t aware, we’re in a zombie apocalypse, and the only way we’re going to make it out alive is if we band together! So, really, a leader is a good idea! You’ll see. We’ll make it out of here alive, and make it back to the America that I love and am!
First things first, we need someone with the right qualifications to be our medical team! What are the right qualifications, you ask? Well, that’s a good question! Some people would say you need to have a the will to help, a tough spirit, the medical knowledge, and lots and lots of TP! But those people are wrong. We need people who can make good choices. We don’t try to heal zombies! All they’ll do is leech off of taxpayer’s brains, and if there is one thing I won’t abide, it’s freeloading zombies! If they’re going to have our brains, they’re going to have to work for every one of them.
Next, we need builders and architects to construct a huge wall to keep the zombies out. Maybe even electrify it. I’m thinking the wall should be 9 feet tall, 9 meters thick, and 9 miles long. I’ve simplified the wall code and called it the 9-9-9 plan! If China can do it, then damn it, so can we! You don’t even need to ask what I’d do for you, so tell me what you can do for me! Listen to me, not to the zombies that claim the only answer is through becoming one of them. We can still save this land! We will sacrifice and work hard, and it will all pay off in the end! Unless it doesn’t, but like that’s going to happen.
With hard work, we’ll be among the 99% that survive tonight. With careful planning, we’ll have 53% with all limbs intact. And with any luck, we’ll be part of the 1% that saves the planet. We can’t wait! Thank you, and God Bless!
Poll Vote!
Character: Spike
Series: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Age: Dragon (baby)
Canon: What do you get when you ask a talented animator/writer to update your mega-merchandised franchise for today's youth? Well, if you're Hasbro and that animator/writer is Lauren Faust, then you get a natural-20 critical hit in the form of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, the cartoon that's taken the Internet by pegasus-guided storm. Girl or boy, young or old, almost everyone seems to be able to enjoy the adventures of Twilight Sparkle, an asocial bookworm of a unicorn whose mentor, Princess Celestia, sends her to the little town of Ponyville to make friends. (And, incidentally, save all of Equestria from an ancient evil.) In each episode, Twilight and her newfound friends learn a little lesson about the magic of friendship, and they manage to be pretty darn entertaining and heartwarming along the way.
Twilight is assisted in all of these endeavors by a little purple dragon named Spike. Despite being only a baby dragon, Spike is surprisingly capable and eager to help. His main task is to send Twilight's letters and reports to Princess Celestia (by burning them with his magical fire breath); he also burps up Celestia's replies, in a fashion rather less dignified. But beyond this, he can be found cooking or cleaning, gathering up supplies, recording and checking Twilight's massive to-do lists... And when Twilight is too freaked out or otherwise occupied to play the Only Sane Pony, Spike is quick to fill the space with all the snark and common sense he can muster. He does act like a thoughtless boy at times, teasing his friends or complaining that something is too girly, and he has the occasional bouts of clumsiness or fear. But on the whole, Spike is the most loyal assistant you could ask for -- as long as you don't mind his early bedtime and his requests for gemstones to snack on.
Sample Post:
Look, I'm telling you for the last time, I'm looking for Twilight Sparkle. Sparkle! No S at the end! It's somepony's name! So cut it out with that stupid glittery stuff! I dunno what it is, but it tastes terrible, and if you keep tossing it in my face, I... I-I'm gonna... ah -- AH-CHOO!!
... Uh-oh. I really hope I didn't just send a zombie to Princess Celestia.
Well, that thing was no help at all. I mean, yeah, zombies are known for eating brains more than having them, but I didn't expect it to be so stupid. I guess that's better than a smart zombie, though... Gulp. Maybe I better move on down the checklist for now. Let's see, "Find the camp," check. "Find Twilight..." Ehhh, half-check. "Replenish her... quill and parchment supplies?" Oh, boy. This is gonna be an all-day affair.
Doesn't seem to be a quill store anywhere around here, so I guess I'm gonna have to do it the hard way. C'mon, feathers, feathers... Oh, those could work! Hey! You colorful birds up there! Do you think I could get my claws on those gorgeous tailfeathers of yours? I just need to -- hey, where are you going? Come back! ...Was it something I said?
Alright, fine, minor setback! I'll just try those ducks over at the water trough next! That should at least be enough to get us through a few days' worth of checklists. I hope. Uh, excuse me? Do you have any feathers you're not using? Er, wearing? Let me start over. I need some quills for my friend, Twilight Sparkle. Do you think you could help? You will? Great! Don't worry, I'm sure this won't hurt a bit. I'll just pluck this one right... here!
Whoa, did you just breathe fire? I guess it must have hurt after all, but that was awesome! My name's Spike, dragon and fellow fire-breather. Pleased to meet you all! Hey, why don't I show you a trick I can do with mine? Just take an ordinary scroll, roll it up, and... whoosh! Instant delivery all the way across Equestria! Not bad, eh?
... And that was my checklist, wasn't it? I knew I should've stayed in bed.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kai
Series: Samurai Warriors 3
Character Age: ~18ish
Canon: Samurai, ninja, and bears, oh my! Samurai Warriors 3 is the latest installment in Koei's Samurai Warriors series, bringing with it new characters, new stories, and a new twist on old history. As area warlords fight for power, love, and Japanese kickball, the game weaves a (surprisingly accurate!) tale of the men and women of that time who spent their lives in the pursuit of peace. Of course, like all video games, this one might embellish the details, such as spears that shoot cannonballs, killer shamisen, and the ability to ride a bear into battle.
Lady Kai is, in fact, sometimes compared to bears, to the point of being called "bear woman" by more than one person. She is not unlike them: ferocious, deadly, likes to eat honey, headbutts things... Bold, brave and rough around the edges, Kai wants nothing more than to support her lord, Hojo Ujiyasu, in his question to unite Japan. Unfortunately this means that she also must devote her life to the ways of war and everything that comes with it, training as hard as she can to succeed on the battlefield, better than any man! Sometimes, however, all she really wants is to dress up prettily, kick back, marry a handsome man, and have a good, relaxing life. Maybe if she'd been born in a peaceful time, she could have! And maybe she'd get this anyway if she stopped yelling and insulting those she's supposed to be allied with.
Sample Post:
You know... I've seen a lot of rookies in my time, but this training camp's gotta have the greenest soldiers ever. They're literally green-- shaking so hard in their boots they're fallin' out of 'em! I know my lord wouldn't send me someplace where I couldn't be useful, but it's gonna take a lot of hard work and more than a whip or two to get these guys into shape.
And trust me, I've got just the whip for you...! Iron, segmented, can become a sword... I know it's a little weird, but it's ladylike, okay?! As lady-like as one gets around this place at least. And while I might not know ladylike as much as others, I can tell you that all this shambling, shuffling movement you've going on is not going to do. Head back, chin up, put your chest out there and reach for your sword-- YOUR SWORD, not your pants. I'm a lady, if you pull that sword outta your pants, I am gonna have to smack you one.
Never you mind, let's just.. start with the basics for now, all right?! Maybe when you can do a little more than just waving your arm around - even with your other arm! - you can move onto the more advanced weapons You know, like spears. Two spears. Even cannon spears. Or maybe... maybe a glowing green ball could work for you? I know one guy who looks kinda like you who can work wonders with the thing. You know him?
No, no that's no good, Kai. It's too complicated for these guys, isn't it... They really don't seem interested in that kinda ball. Think, think! What would he do... no, what would she do... That's it...!
We should start small. Real small. Ninja small. What could go wrong with giving them a couple of knives and letting them go to town? They'll probably have some problems being sneaky with that smell, but they've definitely gotta be better than some of the ninja I've seen in my time. What kinda ninja wears light, bright clothes?! Even if I kinda wonder if they'd use the knives for chopping up their enemies for dinner instead of in a fight...
Well, whatever. So let's get going, trainees...! I'm not going to let a little thing like the new troops literally falling apart get in the way of fulfilling my duties! So if you think you can stop me from getting what I want, you're dead wrong. Deader wrong? So you'd better be prepared to train with me until you can't walk anymore. This time from pain, not because of a lack of legs...! And don't think you can pull a fast one on me. You try to cheat or sneak away or get yourself eaten just to hide... I'll hit you so hard your head will fall off.
Poll Vote!