(no subject)
Next batch! Huzzaaah! :O
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Fukiya Yuma
Series: Yami no Matsuei (http://theria.net)
Age: Appears 19-20; probably a few decades older.
Canon: Yuma is a shinigami who works in the Hokkaido area. She
and her partner Torii Saya are two extremely, ah, enthusiastic girls-they
have a tendency to jump up and down and cling to those they meet, and are
childishly cheerful and bubbly about most things. They’re known mostly for
being the only ones in the world who appear to enjoy Tsuzuki Asato’s deadly
culinary efforts, and for their repeated attempts to put
Kurosaki Hisoka in a pretty dress. They can be shallow-seeming and
extreme-they squeal and go ‘KYAAA!’ and 'UWAAAH!' a lot and are
generally...Tsuzuki and Hisoka’s incredibly shameless canon fangirls. But
they make up for it with awesome(?) fashion sense, infectious humor, and
being considerate of others' feelings to a degree that sometimes gets them
into a lot of trouble.
Saya and Yuma are difficult to separate, as they act similarly and always
appear together in the series. However, there are differences-Yuma reacts
forcefully to a bad situation (‘RRR!’ to Saya’s ‘;_;’), is more flamboyant
in her clothing taste, and is generally likelier to take the foreground than
her partner.
Uwaaah, Hi~so~ka-kuuun! ♥ What an unusual place we've chosen
to vacation at this year, mm? Are there hot springs? There are hot
springs here, yes? The better to show off your adorable body and delicate
limbs! And after you've washed up, we've brought you something we know you
and Tsuzuki-san will enjoy very much:
The very
latest Mantua-style crushed velvet ballgown, with three layers of extra
ruffles just for you ♥!
See? Even the locals here can't take their eyes off its magnificence!
Um, you really shouldn't take that literally...what's your
name?
It's very nice to meet you, Braiiins-san! But, ah, this is a gift for
somebody, and I'm not sure they like random body parts too much--it really
is a nice eye, so you should give it to someone who properly
appreciates it! Like those monkeys over there! I've heard monkeys like to
play with balls, right? And I suppose an eye is kind of like a ball, only--
Sayaaa~. I thought Chief picked a place with no zoos or love hotels!
Saya...?
Never mind, the monkeys are busy with their...own toys already! I'm afraid
you'll have to save it for your special beloved lady after all! You can
exchange eyes and she will be in a beautiful spring kimono under the
sakura trees--why do they have guitars? ...and overalls?--and it will be
very touching and dramatic and full of romance! Braiiins-san can wear
white; it should complement his skin color and bone structure very well!
Kyaaa, such a lovely picture! ♥
O-oh my! How nice of you to show your bone structure better, Braiiins-san!
Even if it is very surprising and creepy and
I hope you don't mind me standing over here! Is removing your face
your special talent? ♥ I've never met anybody who could do that
before!
Saya? Sayaaaa? Where are you? I think I would very much like to go
home now!
Poll Vote!
Character: Torii Saya
Series: Yami no Matsuei
Age: Appears 18-20, probably much older
Canon: Torii Saya and her partner Yuma two very cheerful
'shinigami' (gods of death) in charge of the Hokkaido area, and are pretty
much never seen apart. Like her partner, Saya is a bubbly, very affectionate
girl, often throwing herself at Tsuzuki and Hisoka in overly enthusiastic
embraces, though she and Yuma both hold a particular fondness for Hisoka and
his feminine appearance (they want to put him in a skirt, and have mentioned
having a desire to put makeup on him while he's asleep). However, they are
sincere in their wanting everyone to be good friends.
Saya is somewhat calmer in comparison to Yuma, though she's still as willing
to fawn madly, talk loudly about her body (specifically, her breasts, and
whether or not she's gained weight in them) in onsens, and even eat
Tsuzuki's (notoriously horrible) cooking without flinching or gagging. Saya
is still outgoing and cheerful no matter what happens, though she can't
stand the heat.
Somehow, Yuma, I don't think we're in Japan anymore. Just a hunch, y'know!
Logic says that there's no way our plane from Hokkaido could somehow get
redirected to someplace in America without us noticing. Then again, logic
says a lot of things! And not very firmly. I guess this place
wasn't taking those suggestions, eh-aah! No, no, no! Put that down, gorilla!
That dress isn't for you! You don't have nearly the hips to make it
work! It doesn't work at all with your colouring, you're much more of
a 'winter'! Give it BA-
. . . oh, ew. I don't think I want it anymore.
Well, we'd better make the most of our trip while we're here, anyway. The
brochure promised historical sites and magnificent landscapes! I guess
zombies could be historical, depending on how old they are. Just
think! These zombies could have been devouring the brains of the hapless,
the slightly dense, and the slow-moving for hundreds of years! Before we
were even born! It really makes you think, doesn't it?
. . . And, really, depending on your definition of 'magnificent' . . . some
people LIKE swamps! They have a certain appeal, a kind of squishy, smelly
charm. I guess. If you like that kind of thing, then this place could be
called 'magnificent.' The lake does sparkle nicely, if somewhat
ominously! And, well, the wildlife is interesting to observe from a safe
distance, assuming one is properly armed.
I think that if we look on the bright side of this, and stay at least ten
feet away from any kind of flora, fauna, or natural landmark at all times,
we can really have a good time!
Poll Vote!
Character: Tokitoh Minoru
Series: Wild Adapter
Age: 17
Canon: Wild Adapter is a fairly dark story that takes place in Tokyo and revolves around the lives of Kubota Makoto, former yakuza and Tokitoh Minoru, who doesn't remember anything from his past. Kubota (whom he refers to as Kubo-chan) found him on the street one day, picked him up and took him home; they've been living together ever since.
Tokitoh's right hand (which he keeps hidden under a leather glove most of the time) is not what one would call human. Covered in fur and with claws, his hand also has an amazing destructive power and is suspected to have some sort of connection with the mysterious drug W.A.; Kubota and Tokitoh are after this drug in order to find out about Tokitoh's past.
Tokitoh does not trust people easily and is the type of person who will bluntly spit out the truth, no matter the circumstances. Terribly stubborn and with a very short temper (that makes him snap at people more often than not), but also loyal and caring, Tokitoh is almost like a child sometimes. He's clueless when it comes to things like how long it takes for a baby to be born, but fairly knowleadgeable in areas like videogames and manga.
So for the what? Tenth? Thirteenth time? I don't think we're gonna be able to find anything here. In fact, I don't think this is where we were supposed to-- Kubo-chan? Oi, Kubo-chan are you even listening to me--?
...
Why Kubo-chan, suddenly you're all purple and fuzzy! Yes, uh, excuse me sir, I think there has been a misunderstanding, did you see where m-- OI HANDS DO NOT GO THERE!! DON'T MAKE ME KICK YOUR-- OH, NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!!
........................
There, thank you very much. Seriously guy, if you want a Game Boy to chew on, buy one yourself! And if my save file is screwed up because you drooled on the cartridge I'm gonna get back here, kick you again and make you replay the whole game until you reach the level I was at before this happened!
Geh, speaking of videogames, suddenly I feel like I'm trapped in some sort of wacky fucked up H-game. What's up with the vines and the tentacles in the lake, anyway? And if this is really a game simulation I gotta say the programmer sucks! What kinda enemies drop eyeballs and decayed teeth as items when you beat 'em up, huh? Like hell I'm gonna pick those up!
Anyway, guess I'd better find Kubo-chan before something else happens, he promised we'd pick up my JUMP on our way back and I'm starting to get hungry; I wonder if there're any convenience stores around here... maybe I should've paid more attention to that pink unicorn. See, this is why I've never liked RPGs, they take so much time and it's so long between saves that you--
...
Holy crap, is that a Moogle?
Poll Vote!
Character: Kubota Makoto
Series: Wild Adapter (Canon whoring: The first two volumes can be found scanlated here along with the AU Araiso, and raw scans and translations of vol 3 can be found here)
Age: Believe it or not, he's 17 in most of the manga (16 in vol. 1), despite looking older.
Canon: Kubota was a man who'd been raised as 'nothing'; his parents never even spoke to him and the servants turned their heads away as he passed. He eventually moved out of the household, became a gambler, and was taken up by the yakuza as a 'youth leader'. During this time, he started to open up to his assistant leader Komiya, whose death at the hands of a rival group and whose final words that Kubota didn't belong in such a life made Kubota choose to leave the yakuza (in a glorious bloodbath, natch). Not long after, Kubota found a teenage boy, Tokitoh, unconscious in an alley, and dragged him home -- where he stayed, playing video games and eating junk food, for the next year. Now, Kubota's life revolves around helping Tokitoh overcome his amnesia about his past by following clues for the drug "W.A.", which kills people after making them grow an animal-like appearance. Where people are turning into hairy monsters, Kubota and Tokitoh will be there!
Kubota's laid-back, plain and simple. Nothing (not even Tokitoh's threatened murder) seems to rile him. The fact that he likes animals more than fellow humans is the least of his quirks. He's the type of guy who'll bring video games into the local yakuza office because he's vaguely aware he's supposed to show up now and then but still wants to play his new games... the type of guy who will take a trip to another part of town to stalk 7-11s for new items. Of course, between the job and the somewhat morbid personality, he's also extremely casual about killing and torturing. Tokitoh and he live together in a sexually ambiguous situation, which gives them a great opportunity to annoy people by pretending to very loudly be very gay together. Speaking of which -- since they need secrecy in the W.A. investigations, these plans sometimes include hiding their identities behind yaoi manga cliches. Generally, those are Kubota's idea.
The flowing blood pooling around him... The intestines pouring in coils from his body... His rotting unhinged jaw as he tries to rasp his last love song, a dead voice with rotting breath singing for me to "love him tender, love him true", maggots in his guts, a void where his face once was ... Ah, it may be my fate as well: to die with my guts scattered on the ground, blood and mud mingling. Yes, for example, just in this way.
... Having said that, I would be surprised if I got up again. Well, now. I wonder, Zombie-kun, if nobody ever told you that persistent men go unliked? You won't find much happiness in your afterlife if you're always like this. No, no; no need to thank me so personally.
-- Oh, is the computer already broadcasting? My, what fantastic technology. Hello, hello~. I take it this is some sort of camp? Woooo~ow. Some place you have here. Well ... I may be staying a while, so thank you very much for your kind welcome via your walking dead.
Hmmm... Now that I think of it... I don't suppose any of you might be able to help me? I am in a situation. You see, I've been separated from someone very important to me. He is the younger brother of my mother's cousin's son's half-brother, to whom I have played the role of faithful manservant, and we had fallen in love against our family's wishes. We were in the process of eloping when it seems we were tragically separated due to a car accident that left me aesthetically wounded in the right shoulder and threw us apart; we have not seen each other since. The thought that we might be forever separated ... ahhhh, it is too much to bear. He is a dashing young wiry man with tragic good looks and sharp, intense eyes that once drilled into my soul and made me his, so that no matter how the world turned against our forbidden love, I could not hold off: he had to be mine. My dear Tokitoh-sama.
So, if you see him, tell him I'm here.
In the meantime, I had heard something about an "animal virus" and I would like to hear more, if you don't mind. No, no, it's nothing suspicious, really.
It's just that they're cute, catboys are.
Poll Vote!
Character: Seto Kaiba
Series: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Age: 16
Canon: First things first, Kaiba's ego is probably bigger then his million dollar corporation. Mix that in with his arrogance and you got a guy who WILL have a vendetta against you if his ego ever gets bruised. There are other not so nice characteristics about him. Until he met the protagonist of the series and was put in his place, Kaiba was extremely sadistic; now he's just slightly amused by emotional pain. He'll pick on anyone he considers inferior. For good measure, he'll kick'em when they're down too. He firmly denies the existence of the supernatural, even going so far to dismiss it as illusions when it's right in front of his face.
Kaiba does have a few good qualities. He's very devoted to the welfare of his younger brother, Mokuba. His intelligence is more than enough to support his company. There's also the extremely rare occasion that he'll see someone as an equal and respect him/her.
To: Mokuba Kaiba
From: Seto Kaiba
Subject: NOT in New York
Contact authorities and set up a search party. I've been kidnapped and shipped to the backwaters of America. One moment I'm sleeping on the plane, the next I'm in mud, my luggage looks like it was thrown next to me, and I'm face to face with what's supposed to be a gorilla. As I'm typing this e-mail, guns are going off at random and every five minutes I hear squealing about 'have my babies'. I rather not think about what that means.
Supposedly, this place is a summer camp. I'm guessing from the name ('Camp Fuck You Die') that it's Halloween themed. Don't ask me why it's open at this time of the year. There're a lot of things the owner will explain once I find them. Our company could make millions of improvements here without trying. That imitation gorilla I met wasn't colored properly. They couldn't come up with something more original then zombies. I've seen better tentacles at water parks than the ones coming out of the lake. The toucans are just a waste of money and space.
Start arranging a lawsuit. The owner won't have a rotting flesh to their name by the time I'm don-
Okay, not all the special effects are lame. The moving shrubbery is trying to grab my legs. I don't see any wires and the circuitry's well covered. It's fairly realistic. I'll contact you again once I hunt down the owner.
Poll Vote!
Character: Suzumiya Haruhi
Series: The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi
Age: Assumed 15 - 16. First-year high school student.
Canon: Haruhi is just plain weird. This is only hinted at by her bizarre naming of the after school club she forms. Haruhi has no modesty, shame, respect for authority, tolerance for boring people or concern for normal humans. She's not afraid to go after what she wants and is willing to resort to blackmail and "voluntary kidnapping" to get it. She loves anything unusual and if you have powers or are different from the norm, you can bet she wants to meet you. Just don't let her aggressive personality intimidate you.
Helloooooooo resident inhabitants of Camp Fuck You Die. Honestly, who comes up with these lame and unoriginal names? It's so . . . short and to the point. I'm calling all aliens, time travelers, sliders and espers to come and introduce yourselves. If you're an ordinary human, then don't bother. I have no interest in you.
But for all of you special people out there, my name is Suzumiya Haruhi. I'm the president and founder of the "Save the world by Overloading it with fun Suzumiya Haruhi's brigade" or you can call it "SOS Brigade" for short. We'll investigate anything as long as it's awesome and totally not boring. Plus, I'm always looking for new members so feel free to stop by our clubhouse that I . . . borrowed. And I don't want to hear any whining about my janitor zombies either. Maybe you're thinking, "Waaah . . . their skin is gross and smelly." Or possibly, "Waaaah. They tried to touch me in places I can only show you on a doll." Please. Zombies are people too. Just dead. And decaying. So, suck it up! Are you men? Or are you men? Because I'm looking for men. In that non-gender-specific way, since I'm always looking for a cute girl with a nice rack to be my lab rat scapegoat lolita sidekick. So, come on down. And don't let the lilies in front scare you. Even though I'm training them to be attack flowers. Just remember, they bite because they love. Honest! ♥
Hey, you over there! Yeah, I'm talking to--
. . .
No. Freaking. Way. That guy just shot rainbows out of his nipples! God, I LOVE this place!
Poll Vote!
Character: Pellaz-har-Aralis (Pell)
Series: Wraeththu (http://www.metrogirl.com/wcompanion/)
Age: 18 ( This is hard to get exact, but Pellaz was incepted on his 16th birthday, and I estimate it was two years before the point in canon I'm apping him from. )
Canon: Pellaz was a peasant. A naive, overconfident, somewhat bratty peasant, but one with a sharp mind and good heart. His family lived on a farm in the middle of a desert, a place where men lived in fear of Wraeththu, a race of beautiful not-quite-men that hailed from the North, and were abducting and assimilating the world's youth. Pellaz was intrigued. And when an enigmatic stranger named Cal arrived on the farm, seeking shelter, Pellaz somehow knew that this man was Wraeththu, and eagerly left his home and his family behind.
Pellaz was incepted (turned from human to Wraeththu) by Theide, the first Wraeththu. Because of this, he tended to get special treatment, which he didn't really mind, even if he didn't understand what was so special about him. He and Cal travelled around Megalithia, looking for people who could help educate Pellaz in the ways of Wraeththu, and raise him to higher levels of ability. On their travels, they fell in love. The catch: Wraeththu are not supposed to love, since it breeds jealousy and possessiveness. Oh well. Pellaz didn't often follow rules. He talked to human women, he asked questions when there should have been secrecy, he tried to be polite but wound up offending people anyway, and he was very much in love.
But like any son of a god, daddy had plans for him, and they didn't involve Cal. So he had Pellaz shot and killed, to be later reborn... but that's a whole other story.
Ohhhhhh, my head... is there a healer present? Anyone? Where am I------ !!!
Err... I'm all for herbal remedies, but enchanting your trees to attend to patients is a bit too far. And I believe your spell has gone wrong somehow, as that didn't appear to be a friendly tree. I'd advise you send someone to take care of it. I'd do it myself, but I'd rather not step on toes. Now, is there a healer? One without roots? My head is killing me.
Who gave that woman a gun, anyway? They're supposed to be for protection, and I wasn't going to hurt her. Do I look threatening to you? I'd say she wanted to steal my horse, except I left him with Cal--
Cal! Where is he? Would someone please tell me where I am? (So much green! Have we traveled North? There is never such green in the desert!) I must find him, we were on our way somewhere, and he wouldn't have gone on without me, I know he wouldn't have. He's taller than me, with blond hair, and he had three horses with him.
Oh. Hello. You don't look well, either, are you----what? Yes, he had three horses. You haven't seen anyone with horses? Well. Maybe you were distracted by the sentient trees growing in your forest, hmm? Are they even really trees? Something is wrong about this place, can you feel it? The land, the plants, your skin.. it's unnatural. Normally I wouldn't say anything, but for all I know, this is another ambush, and you've done something terrible to Cal.
You really haven't seen him? Hn. I suppose I have no other choice than to trust you. Now, where are we? A camp... the camp of whom? It must have a name, everything is named, no matter how small.
I... Camp what?
Now you're just mocking me. I don't appreciate it.
This is what I get for speaking to someone whose appendages are molting from his body.
...
AAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Fukiya Yuma
Series: Yami no Matsuei (http://theria.net)
Age: Appears 19-20; probably a few decades older.
Canon: Yuma is a shinigami who works in the Hokkaido area. She
and her partner Torii Saya are two extremely, ah, enthusiastic girls-they
have a tendency to jump up and down and cling to those they meet, and are
childishly cheerful and bubbly about most things. They’re known mostly for
being the only ones in the world who appear to enjoy Tsuzuki Asato’s deadly
culinary efforts, and for their repeated attempts to put
Kurosaki Hisoka in a pretty dress. They can be shallow-seeming and
extreme-they squeal and go ‘KYAAA!’ and 'UWAAAH!' a lot and are
generally...Tsuzuki and Hisoka’s incredibly shameless canon fangirls. But
they make up for it with awesome(?) fashion sense, infectious humor, and
being considerate of others' feelings to a degree that sometimes gets them
into a lot of trouble.
Saya and Yuma are difficult to separate, as they act similarly and always
appear together in the series. However, there are differences-Yuma reacts
forcefully to a bad situation (‘RRR!’ to Saya’s ‘;_;’), is more flamboyant
in her clothing taste, and is generally likelier to take the foreground than
her partner.
Uwaaah, Hi~so~ka-kuuun! ♥ What an unusual place we've chosen
to vacation at this year, mm? Are there hot springs? There are hot
springs here, yes? The better to show off your adorable body and delicate
limbs! And after you've washed up, we've brought you something we know you
and Tsuzuki-san will enjoy very much:
The very
latest Mantua-style crushed velvet ballgown, with three layers of extra
ruffles just for you ♥!
See? Even the locals here can't take their eyes off its magnificence!
Um, you really shouldn't take that literally...what's your
name?
It's very nice to meet you, Braiiins-san! But, ah, this is a gift for
somebody, and I'm not sure they like random body parts too much--it really
is a nice eye, so you should give it to someone who properly
appreciates it! Like those monkeys over there! I've heard monkeys like to
play with balls, right? And I suppose an eye is kind of like a ball, only--
Sayaaa~. I thought Chief picked a place with no zoos or love hotels!
Saya...?
Never mind, the monkeys are busy with their...own toys already! I'm afraid
you'll have to save it for your special beloved lady after all! You can
exchange eyes and she will be in a beautiful spring kimono under the
sakura trees--why do they have guitars? ...and overalls?--and it will be
very touching and dramatic and full of romance! Braiiins-san can wear
white; it should complement his skin color and bone structure very well!
Kyaaa, such a lovely picture! ♥
O-oh my! How nice of you to show your bone structure better, Braiiins-san!
Even if it is very surprising and creepy and
I hope you don't mind me standing over here! Is removing your face
your special talent? ♥ I've never met anybody who could do that
before!
Saya? Sayaaaa? Where are you? I think I would very much like to go
home now!
Poll Vote!
Character: Torii Saya
Series: Yami no Matsuei
Age: Appears 18-20, probably much older
Canon: Torii Saya and her partner Yuma two very cheerful
'shinigami' (gods of death) in charge of the Hokkaido area, and are pretty
much never seen apart. Like her partner, Saya is a bubbly, very affectionate
girl, often throwing herself at Tsuzuki and Hisoka in overly enthusiastic
embraces, though she and Yuma both hold a particular fondness for Hisoka and
his feminine appearance (they want to put him in a skirt, and have mentioned
having a desire to put makeup on him while he's asleep). However, they are
sincere in their wanting everyone to be good friends.
Saya is somewhat calmer in comparison to Yuma, though she's still as willing
to fawn madly, talk loudly about her body (specifically, her breasts, and
whether or not she's gained weight in them) in onsens, and even eat
Tsuzuki's (notoriously horrible) cooking without flinching or gagging. Saya
is still outgoing and cheerful no matter what happens, though she can't
stand the heat.
Somehow, Yuma, I don't think we're in Japan anymore. Just a hunch, y'know!
Logic says that there's no way our plane from Hokkaido could somehow get
redirected to someplace in America without us noticing. Then again, logic
says a lot of things! And not very firmly. I guess this place
wasn't taking those suggestions, eh-aah! No, no, no! Put that down, gorilla!
That dress isn't for you! You don't have nearly the hips to make it
work! It doesn't work at all with your colouring, you're much more of
a 'winter'! Give it BA-
. . . oh, ew. I don't think I want it anymore.
Well, we'd better make the most of our trip while we're here, anyway. The
brochure promised historical sites and magnificent landscapes! I guess
zombies could be historical, depending on how old they are. Just
think! These zombies could have been devouring the brains of the hapless,
the slightly dense, and the slow-moving for hundreds of years! Before we
were even born! It really makes you think, doesn't it?
. . . And, really, depending on your definition of 'magnificent' . . . some
people LIKE swamps! They have a certain appeal, a kind of squishy, smelly
charm. I guess. If you like that kind of thing, then this place could be
called 'magnificent.' The lake does sparkle nicely, if somewhat
ominously! And, well, the wildlife is interesting to observe from a safe
distance, assuming one is properly armed.
I think that if we look on the bright side of this, and stay at least ten
feet away from any kind of flora, fauna, or natural landmark at all times,
we can really have a good time!
Poll Vote!
Character: Tokitoh Minoru
Series: Wild Adapter
Age: 17
Canon: Wild Adapter is a fairly dark story that takes place in Tokyo and revolves around the lives of Kubota Makoto, former yakuza and Tokitoh Minoru, who doesn't remember anything from his past. Kubota (whom he refers to as Kubo-chan) found him on the street one day, picked him up and took him home; they've been living together ever since.
Tokitoh's right hand (which he keeps hidden under a leather glove most of the time) is not what one would call human. Covered in fur and with claws, his hand also has an amazing destructive power and is suspected to have some sort of connection with the mysterious drug W.A.; Kubota and Tokitoh are after this drug in order to find out about Tokitoh's past.
Tokitoh does not trust people easily and is the type of person who will bluntly spit out the truth, no matter the circumstances. Terribly stubborn and with a very short temper (that makes him snap at people more often than not), but also loyal and caring, Tokitoh is almost like a child sometimes. He's clueless when it comes to things like how long it takes for a baby to be born, but fairly knowleadgeable in areas like videogames and manga.
So for the what? Tenth? Thirteenth time? I don't think we're gonna be able to find anything here. In fact, I don't think this is where we were supposed to-- Kubo-chan? Oi, Kubo-chan are you even listening to me--?
...
Why Kubo-chan, suddenly you're all purple and fuzzy! Yes, uh, excuse me sir, I think there has been a misunderstanding, did you see where m-- OI HANDS DO NOT GO THERE!! DON'T MAKE ME KICK YOUR-- OH, NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!!
........................
There, thank you very much. Seriously guy, if you want a Game Boy to chew on, buy one yourself! And if my save file is screwed up because you drooled on the cartridge I'm gonna get back here, kick you again and make you replay the whole game until you reach the level I was at before this happened!
Geh, speaking of videogames, suddenly I feel like I'm trapped in some sort of wacky fucked up H-game. What's up with the vines and the tentacles in the lake, anyway? And if this is really a game simulation I gotta say the programmer sucks! What kinda enemies drop eyeballs and decayed teeth as items when you beat 'em up, huh? Like hell I'm gonna pick those up!
Anyway, guess I'd better find Kubo-chan before something else happens, he promised we'd pick up my JUMP on our way back and I'm starting to get hungry; I wonder if there're any convenience stores around here... maybe I should've paid more attention to that pink unicorn. See, this is why I've never liked RPGs, they take so much time and it's so long between saves that you--
...
Holy crap, is that a Moogle?
Poll Vote!
Character: Kubota Makoto
Series: Wild Adapter (Canon whoring: The first two volumes can be found scanlated here along with the AU Araiso, and raw scans and translations of vol 3 can be found here)
Age: Believe it or not, he's 17 in most of the manga (16 in vol. 1), despite looking older.
Canon: Kubota was a man who'd been raised as 'nothing'; his parents never even spoke to him and the servants turned their heads away as he passed. He eventually moved out of the household, became a gambler, and was taken up by the yakuza as a 'youth leader'. During this time, he started to open up to his assistant leader Komiya, whose death at the hands of a rival group and whose final words that Kubota didn't belong in such a life made Kubota choose to leave the yakuza (in a glorious bloodbath, natch). Not long after, Kubota found a teenage boy, Tokitoh, unconscious in an alley, and dragged him home -- where he stayed, playing video games and eating junk food, for the next year. Now, Kubota's life revolves around helping Tokitoh overcome his amnesia about his past by following clues for the drug "W.A.", which kills people after making them grow an animal-like appearance. Where people are turning into hairy monsters, Kubota and Tokitoh will be there!
Kubota's laid-back, plain and simple. Nothing (not even Tokitoh's threatened murder) seems to rile him. The fact that he likes animals more than fellow humans is the least of his quirks. He's the type of guy who'll bring video games into the local yakuza office because he's vaguely aware he's supposed to show up now and then but still wants to play his new games... the type of guy who will take a trip to another part of town to stalk 7-11s for new items. Of course, between the job and the somewhat morbid personality, he's also extremely casual about killing and torturing. Tokitoh and he live together in a sexually ambiguous situation, which gives them a great opportunity to annoy people by pretending to very loudly be very gay together. Speaking of which -- since they need secrecy in the W.A. investigations, these plans sometimes include hiding their identities behind yaoi manga cliches. Generally, those are Kubota's idea.
The flowing blood pooling around him... The intestines pouring in coils from his body... His rotting unhinged jaw as he tries to rasp his last love song, a dead voice with rotting breath singing for me to "love him tender, love him true", maggots in his guts, a void where his face once was ... Ah, it may be my fate as well: to die with my guts scattered on the ground, blood and mud mingling. Yes, for example, just in this way.
... Having said that, I would be surprised if I got up again. Well, now. I wonder, Zombie-kun, if nobody ever told you that persistent men go unliked? You won't find much happiness in your afterlife if you're always like this. No, no; no need to thank me so personally.
-- Oh, is the computer already broadcasting? My, what fantastic technology. Hello, hello~. I take it this is some sort of camp? Woooo~ow. Some place you have here. Well ... I may be staying a while, so thank you very much for your kind welcome via your walking dead.
Hmmm... Now that I think of it... I don't suppose any of you might be able to help me? I am in a situation. You see, I've been separated from someone very important to me. He is the younger brother of my mother's cousin's son's half-brother, to whom I have played the role of faithful manservant, and we had fallen in love against our family's wishes. We were in the process of eloping when it seems we were tragically separated due to a car accident that left me aesthetically wounded in the right shoulder and threw us apart; we have not seen each other since. The thought that we might be forever separated ... ahhhh, it is too much to bear. He is a dashing young wiry man with tragic good looks and sharp, intense eyes that once drilled into my soul and made me his, so that no matter how the world turned against our forbidden love, I could not hold off: he had to be mine. My dear Tokitoh-sama.
So, if you see him, tell him I'm here.
In the meantime, I had heard something about an "animal virus" and I would like to hear more, if you don't mind. No, no, it's nothing suspicious, really.
It's just that they're cute, catboys are.
Poll Vote!
Character: Seto Kaiba
Series: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Age: 16
Canon: First things first, Kaiba's ego is probably bigger then his million dollar corporation. Mix that in with his arrogance and you got a guy who WILL have a vendetta against you if his ego ever gets bruised. There are other not so nice characteristics about him. Until he met the protagonist of the series and was put in his place, Kaiba was extremely sadistic; now he's just slightly amused by emotional pain. He'll pick on anyone he considers inferior. For good measure, he'll kick'em when they're down too. He firmly denies the existence of the supernatural, even going so far to dismiss it as illusions when it's right in front of his face.
Kaiba does have a few good qualities. He's very devoted to the welfare of his younger brother, Mokuba. His intelligence is more than enough to support his company. There's also the extremely rare occasion that he'll see someone as an equal and respect him/her.
To: Mokuba Kaiba
From: Seto Kaiba
Subject: NOT in New York
Contact authorities and set up a search party. I've been kidnapped and shipped to the backwaters of America. One moment I'm sleeping on the plane, the next I'm in mud, my luggage looks like it was thrown next to me, and I'm face to face with what's supposed to be a gorilla. As I'm typing this e-mail, guns are going off at random and every five minutes I hear squealing about 'have my babies'. I rather not think about what that means.
Supposedly, this place is a summer camp. I'm guessing from the name ('Camp Fuck You Die') that it's Halloween themed. Don't ask me why it's open at this time of the year. There're a lot of things the owner will explain once I find them. Our company could make millions of improvements here without trying. That imitation gorilla I met wasn't colored properly. They couldn't come up with something more original then zombies. I've seen better tentacles at water parks than the ones coming out of the lake. The toucans are just a waste of money and space.
Start arranging a lawsuit. The owner won't have a rotting flesh to their name by the time I'm don-
Okay, not all the special effects are lame. The moving shrubbery is trying to grab my legs. I don't see any wires and the circuitry's well covered. It's fairly realistic. I'll contact you again once I hunt down the owner.
Poll Vote!
Character: Suzumiya Haruhi
Series: The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi
Age: Assumed 15 - 16. First-year high school student.
Canon: Haruhi is just plain weird. This is only hinted at by her bizarre naming of the after school club she forms. Haruhi has no modesty, shame, respect for authority, tolerance for boring people or concern for normal humans. She's not afraid to go after what she wants and is willing to resort to blackmail and "voluntary kidnapping" to get it. She loves anything unusual and if you have powers or are different from the norm, you can bet she wants to meet you. Just don't let her aggressive personality intimidate you.
Helloooooooo resident inhabitants of Camp Fuck You Die. Honestly, who comes up with these lame and unoriginal names? It's so . . . short and to the point. I'm calling all aliens, time travelers, sliders and espers to come and introduce yourselves. If you're an ordinary human, then don't bother. I have no interest in you.
But for all of you special people out there, my name is Suzumiya Haruhi. I'm the president and founder of the "Save the world by Overloading it with fun Suzumiya Haruhi's brigade" or you can call it "SOS Brigade" for short. We'll investigate anything as long as it's awesome and totally not boring. Plus, I'm always looking for new members so feel free to stop by our clubhouse that I . . . borrowed. And I don't want to hear any whining about my janitor zombies either. Maybe you're thinking, "Waaah . . . their skin is gross and smelly." Or possibly, "Waaaah. They tried to touch me in places I can only show you on a doll." Please. Zombies are people too. Just dead. And decaying. So, suck it up! Are you men? Or are you men? Because I'm looking for men. In that non-gender-specific way, since I'm always looking for a cute girl with a nice rack to be my lab rat scapegoat lolita sidekick. So, come on down. And don't let the lilies in front scare you. Even though I'm training them to be attack flowers. Just remember, they bite because they love. Honest! ♥
Hey, you over there! Yeah, I'm talking to--
. . .
No. Freaking. Way. That guy just shot rainbows out of his nipples! God, I LOVE this place!
Poll Vote!
Character: Pellaz-har-Aralis (Pell)
Series: Wraeththu (http://www.metrogirl.com/wcompanion/)
Age: 18 ( This is hard to get exact, but Pellaz was incepted on his 16th birthday, and I estimate it was two years before the point in canon I'm apping him from. )
Canon: Pellaz was a peasant. A naive, overconfident, somewhat bratty peasant, but one with a sharp mind and good heart. His family lived on a farm in the middle of a desert, a place where men lived in fear of Wraeththu, a race of beautiful not-quite-men that hailed from the North, and were abducting and assimilating the world's youth. Pellaz was intrigued. And when an enigmatic stranger named Cal arrived on the farm, seeking shelter, Pellaz somehow knew that this man was Wraeththu, and eagerly left his home and his family behind.
Pellaz was incepted (turned from human to Wraeththu) by Theide, the first Wraeththu. Because of this, he tended to get special treatment, which he didn't really mind, even if he didn't understand what was so special about him. He and Cal travelled around Megalithia, looking for people who could help educate Pellaz in the ways of Wraeththu, and raise him to higher levels of ability. On their travels, they fell in love. The catch: Wraeththu are not supposed to love, since it breeds jealousy and possessiveness. Oh well. Pellaz didn't often follow rules. He talked to human women, he asked questions when there should have been secrecy, he tried to be polite but wound up offending people anyway, and he was very much in love.
But like any son of a god, daddy had plans for him, and they didn't involve Cal. So he had Pellaz shot and killed, to be later reborn... but that's a whole other story.
Ohhhhhh, my head... is there a healer present? Anyone? Where am I------ !!!
Err... I'm all for herbal remedies, but enchanting your trees to attend to patients is a bit too far. And I believe your spell has gone wrong somehow, as that didn't appear to be a friendly tree. I'd advise you send someone to take care of it. I'd do it myself, but I'd rather not step on toes. Now, is there a healer? One without roots? My head is killing me.
Who gave that woman a gun, anyway? They're supposed to be for protection, and I wasn't going to hurt her. Do I look threatening to you? I'd say she wanted to steal my horse, except I left him with Cal--
Cal! Where is he? Would someone please tell me where I am? (So much green! Have we traveled North? There is never such green in the desert!) I must find him, we were on our way somewhere, and he wouldn't have gone on without me, I know he wouldn't have. He's taller than me, with blond hair, and he had three horses with him.
Oh. Hello. You don't look well, either, are you----what? Yes, he had three horses. You haven't seen anyone with horses? Well. Maybe you were distracted by the sentient trees growing in your forest, hmm? Are they even really trees? Something is wrong about this place, can you feel it? The land, the plants, your skin.. it's unnatural. Normally I wouldn't say anything, but for all I know, this is another ambush, and you've done something terrible to Cal.
You really haven't seen him? Hn. I suppose I have no other choice than to trust you. Now, where are we? A camp... the camp of whom? It must have a name, everything is named, no matter how small.
I... Camp what?
Now you're just mocking me. I don't appreciate it.
This is what I get for speaking to someone whose appendages are molting from his body.
...
AAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Poll Vote!