(no subject)
PLEASE NOTE THAT SINCE I'M THE ONLY ONE TO BE REASONABLY CLOSE TO FINISHING KINGDOM HEARTS 2, I was the only mod reading these apps, durr hurr. Ergo, since I couldn't ask for Juri or Box Woman's opinions, there was no KH2 weeding. IN RETURN FOR MY AWESOME GENEROSITY... please help a mod out.
This voting post is seperate from the rest in order to prevent people from being spoiled. If you're waiting to play/finish the game, feel free to skip this batch.
VOTING IS CLOSED. Go home! >*
Character: Roxas
Series: Kingdom Hearts II
Character Age: Appears to be fifteen or sixteen.
Warning: Spoilers for the first three hours of gameplay ahead!
Canon: Kingdom Hearts: the not-so-little crossover
that could. Combining Square Enix with Disney, the game revolves
around Sora, a fifteen-year-old boy chosen to wield the Keyblade. He
travels through various Disney (and some original) worlds in order to
find his friends, defeat the Heartless, and prevent aforementioned
worlds from being plunged into darkness.
This, however, is not his story. ...or maybe it is.
In fact, Roxas' story apparently has very little to do with Sora's.
He considers himself to be an average kid from Twilight Town, a sleepy
world of eternal sunset. He's a nice guy, very devoted to his
friends; however, he's also got some anger management issues, and
tends to pursue truth with single-minded tenacity. Also, he's short.
All things considered, though, he's nothing special. Likes to
skateboard, eats his weight in ice cream daily, tends to pass out on
the ground twitching every five minutes, etc. During the last week of
his summer vacation, however, strange things begin happening to him --
including weird dreams and the sudden acquisition of a Keyblade of his
own. As a result, he learns a lot of stuff that essentially amounts
to one point: his life sucks.
Spoilers: In fact, Roxas was never meant to
exist in the first place. He is Sora's Nobody, an empty shell formed
when Sora became a Heartless. Originally, he joined up with
Organization XIII, a group of particularly strong Nobodies, but a
series of events brought him to DiZ, a well-meaning bastard who wiped
his memories and placed him in the Matrix a fake version of
Twilight Town until he could be merged into Sora. Roxas eventually
discovers the truth about himself and agrees to the merge -- but not
happily. His final line before giving up his existence is "Looks like
my summer vacation is...over."
Sample Post:
I think today is going to be a very bad day.
For example, I woke up with -- that in my hair. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was made out of marshmallow. And possibly smoking. Trust me when I say this, Mr. Small and Purple: telling me that I am "cute," "fluffy," "the perfect height," or "all of the above" is not going to improve my mood. Perfect height for what? There is absolutely nothing wrong with having to look up at people every now and then. And it's not like it's my fault to begin with!
Secondly? I am not a postal service. It's very nice of you to offer, really, but I'm not so desperate for help that I'm gonna deliver love letters for the toucans. I can only take so many renditions of "obsidian orbs locked / each other in an eternal contest of love and malice as / loquacious edifices gyre and gimble in the wabe." If I were doing this on a skateboard, maybe. But I lost that somewhere between the gorillas and the springs. I think it turned into a girl.
Look. If this is all supposed to be some kind of joke, I'm not laughing. I know this isn't Twilight Town, and it can't be anything else I've heard of, and -- is anybody even listening
to me anymore? I've got some legitimate issues here! Why am I stuck in a summer camp when --
Wait, summer camp? In April? What, does that mean summer vacation never ends here?
... maybe it's not such a bad day after all.
Poll
Character: Demyx (Demyx)
Series: Kingdom Hearts II (see also: Kingdom Hearts II
Character Age: 19 (logic following he's No 9 which makes him 9 + 10 to make him legal)
Canon:
Kingdom Hearts is this odd little Square Enix game where Final Fantasy and Disney had an orgy and spawned some sort of illegitimate three headed child. It involves a fourteen year old boy who looks like he's twelve bashing things with a key'blade' which is more like a keyclub on some quest to find his friends and possibly save the world. In Kingdom Hearts II it follows much of the same story, with a whole bunch of people who have a fetish for black coats tossed into the mix.
The first time you encounter Demyx in another Square-Enix shameless whoring of promotion of the Final Fantasy franchise game called "Kingdom Hearts: II" (in the English version) he runs past Sora and his dashing duo of Donald and Goofy saying "Run, run away!"
Demyx is part of a wonderful little band of merry men called "Organization XII" (Got it memorized?). They're "Nobodies" and are supposed to not have emotions or hearts, or feelings and like to wearing black coats. Personality-wise Demyx swings back and forth. A lot. He'll taunt Roxas Sora one moment and then whine at him the next. He's not exactly the bravest of all the Organization XIII members and he doesn't even fight with his giant sitar, he just uses it to throw water and people. (It really looks like an overgrown shamisen to me…)
Because Demyx's whining is much better in Japanese and when you can actually see/hear it (YSI, so it'll run out after 20 D: sorreh)
Sample Post:
H-Hey! Is it possible to take a wrong-turn through The Darkness? Zexion said it was just like point A and point B getting connected like putting my fingers together… like this and this and… ehhhhh? Something that looked like Xaldin's sideburns just tried to touch me.
…
You! Inferiors shouldn't mess with people who are obviously better than them!
…
Ah! Look, forgive me, alright? I didn't mean anything behind it, you know. Not like everything that is said should be taken seriously, right? Why don't we just go on our separate ways, I'll head over here… stop that! Hey! I was being nice, you know!
It isn't like I'm actually afraid of it, just, the buggy eyes are givin' me a bit of the creeps. If they'd just go away, and it's like, they don't need to be here. I don't need to be here, why am I here anyway? Saix is going to be so pissed…
... ….
Shut-up, worthless piece of flesh.
…
Apologies are better late than never, right? Aheheheh… heh….Ok, running now. Run, run, run away~ If I didn't know better I'd say that the Xaldin-sideburn-radioactive-poo grew legs and is chasing me. And now I can't leave. Well, I can open portals from here to… here… Saix will be mad at me for weeks, which isn't my fault. Let's see…I have escape instructions… Aha! Here it is. "In the event that one may become stranded… in unfamiliar territory it is advised that… strand-ee should implement emergency location and transportation… methods…" I don't get it, what good are instructions if they don't make any sense?
Poll
And now our duplicates. Two Soras, three Axels. You know what that means, right?
NAKED JELLO KINGDOM HEARTS CAGE MATCH GOOOOOO!!
Sora #1
Character: Sora
Series: Kingdom Hearts
Character Age: 15
Canon: Once upon a time, Our Hero Sora had planned to sail off on a rickety raft to a land of sweets and joyness, alongside his two best friends, Riku and Kairi. Unfortunately, nothing can ever go as planned in the Square world, and the three are uprooted and scattered across various worlds. Sora spends the entire first game trekking around trying to find his friends, and just so happens to solve most of the world's problems while he's at it.
Cheerful, friendly, and sincere, Sora is the type of person who doesn't rest until his goal is accomplished, but is still more than happy to take his time making new friends and helping people out along the way. Sure, sometimes he can be angry, impulsive, and downright angsty, but he switches between the two extremes so easily that Donald has started to suspect he may in fact be bipolar.
After the events of Chain of Memories, Sora ends up trapped in a giant artichoke cryogenic chamber in order to have his fragmented memories restored. Awaking one year later, stronger, faster, better!, Sora is ready to go on his journey to find Riku once more, this time aided by his new friend puberty! Sora in Kingdom Hearts II is taller, questionably more wise, and has the habit of blushing, staring and fidgeting whenever Disney couples get their mack on. Luckily for all involved, he's still upbeat and happy and striving to do his best for everyone he knows. Sora fights with a giant key of destiny, flies around in a gummi ship, and travels around with his friends Donald and Goofy. No, he doesn't see anything strange about a very angry duck and a dog that wears a hat. Do you?
Sample App:
Ow! Geez, Donald didn't have to knock me out of the airlock that hard. That really could have damaged something important, like the Keyblade! I guess it's a good thing it's harder than my head.
Speakin' of the Keyblade, when did it get an upgrade? "Aim for the Eyes?" Well, if it'll help me take out these weird Heartless, I'm all for it - if I can actually y'know, hit the eyes. What a weird place! All these Heartless around and nobody doing anything? Don't you know that the Heartless are dangeous? They're creatures without hearts that - oh. Well, okay, Mr. Heartless, I-I guess you do have a heart. I really didn't want to see that. Here, I'll just .. I'll just put back it for you, okay?
... Okay, this place is really weird. Seems like something Riku'd really like, though. Oh, that's right! Any of you guys seen a guy with silver hair and a really bad attitude? I've been looking for him for a while. And don't worry if you haven't, I'll just take a little look around. This place has a lot of dark places, so maybe he's just hiding - he likes to do that. So if he shows up in a wardrobe or under someone's bed or something, just tell him to come on out of the closet and I'll be right there to take him off your hands.
Anyway, since I'm here, I'll do other errands if anyone needs somethin' done. I can clear out a couple cabins, retrieve small but vicious animals, maybe escort people through the woods! I can pretty much do anything, except for stuff like laundry and babysitting. Trust me on this one. And don't worry, my services are really cheap. I just like giving a helping hand, you know? Put my skills to good use and all that.
My name's Sora, by the way! Sorry, I kinda forgot that I haven't been here before. I think it'll be great, though. Making new friends and memories, something right up my alley. But come on, you guys! Why all the sad faces? Put on a big smile and lift up your spirits! Like this, see?
App #2
Character: Sora
Series: Kingdom Hearts series
Character Age: 15 (KH II age)
Kingdom Hearts is one of gamings ultimate Odd Couples pairing
the world of Disney and the world of Square(soft)-Enix. The game is filled
with cameos from both Disney films and Final Fantasy games that may or may
not
Sora is the main character in the series. He is an upbeat, optimistic
teenager who may seem simple minded at times. He can be reckless and he is
quick to anger when people he cares about are threatened. But overall he is
a genuinely good guy and he'll stand by your side until the bitter end. He
comes from Destiny Islands and is close friends with Riku and Kairi, with
whom he is currently seperated from. He travels from world to world with
Donald and Goofy kicking heartless/nobody butt with an unusual weapon called
the Keyblade. He hopes to one day be reunited with his Island and his old
friends.
For those who are familiar with canon: This is Sora from the earlier stages
of KH2. He knows about the nobodies and the Organization, just not his role
in their plan.
Sample Post:
Hey, everybody! My name's Sora and this is Donald and Goo...
Donald? Goofy?
Well that's weird. We were in the ship together just a minute ago.
Ummm...Where is the ship anyway? Come to think of it, I don't actually
remember landing and getting off...
Oh well. I'm sure they'll catch up with me soon.
So anyway I'm looking for two friends of mine. Their names are Riku and
Kairi. Anybody seen them? No? Well how about heartless or some guys
dressed all in black? No, I don't mean the "Director" or the guy with the
large scythe lounging under the tree over there. I mean...
...
...never mind. So no heartless. No nobodies. I wonder why I'm here then.
Oh hey! There are moogles here? What a relief. I was hoping to find one
sooner or later. I was running out of supplies and it looks like I'm going
to at least need a tent if I'm gonna be camping out here for a while.
Let's see here... "Save...my...game."
Save my game? Huh?
Hmmm...maybe the little guy is temporarily out of supplies. That's a pretty
unusual service to offer instead though.
What a strange world. I've been to a lot of places but this one really
looks like the pits. Everything looks dark and dead. Sorta reminds me of
Halloween Town only no one looks like they're having a good time.
C'mon, guys! Cheer up! It can't be all bad. At least you can be glad that
you're all alive and well with friends by your side.
...Okay so you have a problem with disease. But at least you're alive with
friends by your side?
...At least you're alive?
Come on now. This world really can't be that bad to live in. Right?
Poll
Axel #1
Character: Axel
Series: Kingdom Hearts
Character Age: Not specified, appears to be in his late teens or early twenties.
Canon:
((Note: In the interest of being as spoiler-free as possible I’ve left out certain details regarding Axel’s true motives. If you have no intention of playing the game but are curious about him, click the link below. Other than that the canon section describes Axel as he would seem to an observer like, say, another camper. I don’t mention anything in the app that isn’t from Chain of Memories or from the first couple of hours in KH2.))
Axel, also known as the “Flurry of Dancing Flames” for his power over fire, is the eighth member of Organization XIII, a group of beings who have lost their hearts. Being heartless, many people believe that they are incapable of human emotion. Axel himself does show emotion, it just tends to be inappropriate. He is the kind of guy who’d laugh at a funeral. While his manner is playful, excitable, impetuous and sometimes childish he is actually very clever and cunning, able to manipulate people and events to suit his own needs.
Axel is the Organization’s resident assassin and is often assigned to carry out the Superior’s dirty work. He follows the orders with gusto, even if he does tend to twist them around to convenience himself. This tendency to look out for number one makes him an inconstant ally, and he sometimes changes sides during a conflict at his own whim. At least four members of Organization XIII can trace their deaths directly back to Axel even though none of them have ever openly opposed or even bothered him. However, as capable as Axel is of cruelty he is equally capable of, if not actual empathy, a pretty good emulation of it. When he’s not murdering someone or setting something on fire Axel is seeking Roxas, another member of the Organization, and his only friend. As he puts it Roxas makes him feel like he has a heart. Finding him is his personal priority.
Sample Post:
I demand to be told the purpose of your scaled death turkeys. They kinda piss me off.
What? Hey, listen, I’m always willing to carry out orders, okay? I’ll do what I have to, turkeys or no, but, gee, these orders are getting a bit weird now. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when someone said “Let’s send Number Eight to summer camp”. I wonder what part of that it was that sounded like a good idea?
Oh, sure, they said something about a Camp Director who needed to be destroyed and who was “crushing magical ninja kids under her iron jackboot of oppression.” Actually, I stopped paying attention when they brought up “velociraptors”, “pilots” a lake and some sort of barrier. Then it struck me . . . lake? Roxas always did love lakes . . .
Well, the point is that they gave me orders to see to this Director woman. And I accepted since I might see Roxas again. Not like I really had a choice anyway, right? Orders are orders.
So I came and I met your turkeys. You know . . . the second I got here they jumped on me? They had these really big, sharp toenails. Hurt like hell. Anyway, I kinda ah . . . I kinda torched ‘em. They’re over there if you want any. I don’t. I mean . . . I like my meat medium rare but it always comes out well done. So you can have it! See? I’m a nice guy!
But wow, attack poultry, what a welcoming committee! I’d feel flattered but I’ll bet you greet all of the heartless pyrophiles that way.
I’ll return the favor. Promise. There will be a turkey roast tonight!
Until then. . .well. . ..Let’s just say your Director and I have a date. A hot date.
You hear that, Director? I’m coming for you and your snap-jawed turkeys aren’t going to stop me! You can throw as many of them at me as you want but animals tend to dislike temperatures over 400 degrees! One of life’s little rules. Got it memorized?
Axel #2
Character: Axel
Series: Kingdom Hearts
Character Age: Unknown
(WARNING. BOTH CANON INFO AND POST CONTAIN SPOILERS. Spoilers in the info are WHITED OUT, spoilers in the post ARE NOT.)
Canon: In the magical land of crossover crack that is Kingdom Hearts, there exists a mysterious group of people who call themselves Organization XIII. Proving that creativity really isn't a requirement to join, they get their name by the fact that they're, well, an organization of thirteen people in stylin' black coats. While they look human and do a pretty good job of acting it, they're actually Nobodies, the byproduct of someone with a strong heart becoming a Heartless.
Axel is Organization member number eight. He's loud, sarcastic, and utterly ruthless. Inside the Organization, he's responsible for disposing of those less than loyal to the cause--the lesser Nobodies he controls are called Assassins, after all. He treats everyone, even his immediate superiors, with a sort of joking condescention. Despite the fact that his element is fire, he's surprisingly level-headed and calculating. The only time he looses is cool is when (highlight for spoilers) member number thirteen, Roxas (who is the Nobody of the main character, Sora), is involved. You see, Roxas is his gay lover best friend. He also defects from the Organization, which means Axel's responsible for killing him. Needless to say, things get really complicated around that time, especially when Axel fails and Roxas and Sora merge. He proceeds to spend the rest of the game slowly breaking away from the Organization in his obsessive quest to turn Sora into a Heartless in order to get Roxas back. In the end, he sacrifices himself to save Sora, and in the process, Roxas.
...okay, so. There's this thing where when you go out in a heroic blaze of glory, you generally, I don't know, expect to actually go out. Especially when you're a Nobody. I'm pretty sure I should've just disappeared or something. Not that I'm complaining about not being dead, mind you. It's just... to say that it's not what I was expecting would be the understatement of the century.
I used to think that one world with the singing sea creatures was weird. A summer camp with no way out, huh? And zombies? Well, on the evil scale, I'd say it ranks somewhere between kicking puppies and that one time Demyx decided we needed a karaoke night. I'd be impressed if it weren't, you know, suddenly my problem. Which is probably what I get for defecting. Let this be a lesson to you, kids: when you sign on to join an evil organization, don't get so distracted by the snazzy uniforms that you forget to ask for a nice severance package. And speaking of the uniforms, damn are they not made for this kind of weather. Black leather plus humidity do not a happy me make.
But I digress. Anyway, I figure all's I have to do is wait for the keybrat to show up. After all, it's like he's practically got a homing device on anything Organization-related. So he'll show up with that oversized key of his, do that unlocking thing, and I'll be out of here faster than you can question the whole concept of his weapon in the first place. Then it's back to dealing with the giant mess that is the situation with Roxas. Every minute I spend her is a minute I could be using to get him back. So, Sora, you'd better get here quick, or our next meeting won't be as lovey-dovey as our last--got it memorized?
...while I wait, I think I'm gonna go see how flammable things are around here.
Axel #3
Character: Axel
Series: Kingdom Hearts II/Chain of Memories
Age: Unknown
Warning: Canon contains general spoilers for ALL of Chain of Memories, as well as minor spoilers for the first two worlds of Kingdom Hearts II. Endgame spoilers are under a cut.
Canon: Known as the "Flurry of the Dancing Flames," Axel is a member of Organization XIII, a group of black-cloaked Nobodies intent on discovering the secrets behind the human heart. Axel slings around a pair of giant chakram that are hell on his posture, but useful for throwing, lighting on fire, or stabbing in the back of friend and foe alike. If you think Axel's on your side? Better make your list and check it twice, because Axel doesn't care if you've been naughty or nice. He plays games by his own rules and follows his own agenda, and if that means killing an ally in order to make his enemies trust him? In Axel's own words, it's just "weeding the garden." Clever and ruthless, Axel nonetheless has something of a theatrical personality, with really great hips, flamboyant hand gestures, and a highly sarcastic and expressive tone of voice accented with words such as "silly" or "icky."
Despite this strong personality, Axel is actually a Nobody; an empty shell of a being created after a strong-willed person loses their heart to Darkness. He remembers what it was like to have a heart, but doesn't have one of his own. As such, it is the goal of Organization XIII to discover more about hearts in order to validate their existence. Axel, however, has another goal: that is, to find and stay close to his boyfriend best friend, Roxas. Endgame Spoilers: Most of Axel's actions, including his various double-crossings and assassinations, are all part of an effort to keep Roxas from finding out that he is actually the Nobody of the hero, Sora. Axel fears (and rightly so) that if Roxas finds out, he will leave the Organization, merge with Sora, and become forever lost as an individual. In the end, however, Axel meets up with Sora one last time on the pathway to the World That Never Was and puts everything he has into a suicidal attack to save Sora's life. Roxas, Axel tells him, was the only one that he liked - the only one who made him feel like he actually had a heart. And maybe he'll see him again, in the next life.
Sample App:
Well, I've gotta say! That is QUITE the welcoming committee you kids have got here. The helpful pamphlets on preventing "Architeuthidae Architeuthis Non-Consensual Penetration" (that's, what...? squid rape?) Grade A entertainment, really - though I could have done without the icky illustrations. Oh, and I'm a big fan of the fruit baskets, too. Shoutaloupe, huh? Sounds a little... illegal, if you know what I mean! But that's A-OK.
Nothing wrong with liking younger men!`
... speaking of which. Fruits and non-mainstream sexual practices aside, I'm here for a reason, name of Roxas. Spiky blond hair, big blue eyes, toting around a giant fucking key, you know. Hard to miss!
Tried asking around already, but the answers I got were less than helpful. "Only YOU can prevent forest fires!" is not acceptable, relevant, or anything I want to hear. What's wrong with a little arson, I ask you? Unfortunately for him, Mr. Smokey didn't seem to like that too much, so now we've got Mr. Smokey Barbecue with a side-order of Fur Flambee. Hope there's no Mama Bear about, because I'm really not in the mood to find out if Organization XIII liability insurance covers manslaughter, bearslaughter, or disturbances in the Force, as if millions of childhoods cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
Anyway! Other than my pal Smokey, the only other less-than-helpful contact I've had with anybody thus far has been via email, and like I said. Less than helpful. For the record, Mr. Cabbage R. Commemorating, I may not OVERCOMPENSATE like Saix, but nobody's EVER complained about my endowment. And do fuck off, Mr. Arbitrary Q. Aphrodisiac. I don't feel like an empty shell of a person without my better half by my side, I'm not looking for a match on NobodiesTogether.com, and I sure as hell am not following the Yellow Brick Road anywhere. Thanks, but no thanks.
Seriously, people. I'm JUST here to find Roxas, and then I'll be out of your hair - wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. So if you see him, be a pal and tell him that Axel's looking for him? That's A-X-E-L, Axel. Got it memorized?
Poll
This voting post is seperate from the rest in order to prevent people from being spoiled. If you're waiting to play/finish the game, feel free to skip this batch.
VOTING IS CLOSED. Go home! >*
Character: Roxas
Series: Kingdom Hearts II
Character Age: Appears to be fifteen or sixteen.
Warning: Spoilers for the first three hours of gameplay ahead!
Canon: Kingdom Hearts: the not-so-little crossover
that could. Combining Square Enix with Disney, the game revolves
around Sora, a fifteen-year-old boy chosen to wield the Keyblade. He
travels through various Disney (and some original) worlds in order to
find his friends, defeat the Heartless, and prevent aforementioned
worlds from being plunged into darkness.
This, however, is not his story. ...or maybe it is.
In fact, Roxas' story apparently has very little to do with Sora's.
He considers himself to be an average kid from Twilight Town, a sleepy
world of eternal sunset. He's a nice guy, very devoted to his
friends; however, he's also got some anger management issues, and
tends to pursue truth with single-minded tenacity. Also, he's short.
All things considered, though, he's nothing special. Likes to
skateboard, eats his weight in ice cream daily, tends to pass out on
the ground twitching every five minutes, etc. During the last week of
his summer vacation, however, strange things begin happening to him --
including weird dreams and the sudden acquisition of a Keyblade of his
own. As a result, he learns a lot of stuff that essentially amounts
to one point: his life sucks.
Spoilers: In fact, Roxas was never meant to
exist in the first place. He is Sora's Nobody, an empty shell formed
when Sora became a Heartless. Originally, he joined up with
Organization XIII, a group of particularly strong Nobodies, but a
series of events brought him to DiZ, a well-meaning bastard who wiped
his memories and placed him in the Matrix a fake version of
Twilight Town until he could be merged into Sora. Roxas eventually
discovers the truth about himself and agrees to the merge -- but not
happily. His final line before giving up his existence is "Looks like
my summer vacation is...over."
Sample Post:
I think today is going to be a very bad day.
For example, I woke up with -- that in my hair. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was made out of marshmallow. And possibly smoking. Trust me when I say this, Mr. Small and Purple: telling me that I am "cute," "fluffy," "the perfect height," or "all of the above" is not going to improve my mood. Perfect height for what? There is absolutely nothing wrong with having to look up at people every now and then. And it's not like it's my fault to begin with!
Secondly? I am not a postal service. It's very nice of you to offer, really, but I'm not so desperate for help that I'm gonna deliver love letters for the toucans. I can only take so many renditions of "obsidian orbs locked / each other in an eternal contest of love and malice as / loquacious edifices gyre and gimble in the wabe." If I were doing this on a skateboard, maybe. But I lost that somewhere between the gorillas and the springs. I think it turned into a girl.
Look. If this is all supposed to be some kind of joke, I'm not laughing. I know this isn't Twilight Town, and it can't be anything else I've heard of, and -- is anybody even listening
to me anymore? I've got some legitimate issues here! Why am I stuck in a summer camp when --
Wait, summer camp? In April? What, does that mean summer vacation never ends here?
... maybe it's not such a bad day after all.
Poll
Character: Demyx (Demyx)
Series: Kingdom Hearts II (see also: Kingdom Hearts II
Character Age: 19 (logic following he's No 9 which makes him 9 + 10 to make him legal)
Canon:
Kingdom Hearts is this odd little Square Enix game where Final Fantasy and Disney had an orgy and spawned some sort of illegitimate three headed child. It involves a fourteen year old boy who looks like he's twelve bashing things with a key'blade' which is more like a keyclub on some quest to find his friends and possibly save the world. In Kingdom Hearts II it follows much of the same story, with a whole bunch of people who have a fetish for black coats tossed into the mix.
The first time you encounter Demyx in another Square-Enix shameless whoring of promotion of the Final Fantasy franchise game called "Kingdom Hearts: II" (in the English version) he runs past Sora and his dashing duo of Donald and Goofy saying "Run, run away!"
Demyx is part of a wonderful little band of merry men called "Organization XII" (Got it memorized?). They're "Nobodies" and are supposed to not have emotions or hearts, or feelings and like to wearing black coats. Personality-wise Demyx swings back and forth. A lot. He'll taunt Roxas Sora one moment and then whine at him the next. He's not exactly the bravest of all the Organization XIII members and he doesn't even fight with his giant sitar, he just uses it to throw water and people. (It really looks like an overgrown shamisen to me…)
Because Demyx's whining is much better in Japanese and when you can actually see/hear it (YSI, so it'll run out after 20 D: sorreh)
Sample Post:
H-Hey! Is it possible to take a wrong-turn through The Darkness? Zexion said it was just like point A and point B getting connected like putting my fingers together… like this and this and… ehhhhh? Something that looked like Xaldin's sideburns just tried to touch me.
…
You! Inferiors shouldn't mess with people who are obviously better than them!
…
Ah! Look, forgive me, alright? I didn't mean anything behind it, you know. Not like everything that is said should be taken seriously, right? Why don't we just go on our separate ways, I'll head over here… stop that! Hey! I was being nice, you know!
It isn't like I'm actually afraid of it, just, the buggy eyes are givin' me a bit of the creeps. If they'd just go away, and it's like, they don't need to be here. I don't need to be here, why am I here anyway? Saix is going to be so pissed…
... ….
Shut-up, worthless piece of flesh.
…
Apologies are better late than never, right? Aheheheh… heh….Ok, running now. Run, run, run away~ If I didn't know better I'd say that the Xaldin-sideburn-radioactive-poo grew legs and is chasing me. And now I can't leave. Well, I can open portals from here to… here… Saix will be mad at me for weeks, which isn't my fault. Let's see…I have escape instructions… Aha! Here it is. "In the event that one may become stranded… in unfamiliar territory it is advised that… strand-ee should implement emergency location and transportation… methods…" I don't get it, what good are instructions if they don't make any sense?
Poll
And now our duplicates. Two Soras, three Axels. You know what that means, right?
NAKED JELLO KINGDOM HEARTS CAGE MATCH GOOOOOO!!
Sora #1
Character: Sora
Series: Kingdom Hearts
Character Age: 15
Canon: Once upon a time, Our Hero Sora had planned to sail off on a rickety raft to a land of sweets and joyness, alongside his two best friends, Riku and Kairi. Unfortunately, nothing can ever go as planned in the Square world, and the three are uprooted and scattered across various worlds. Sora spends the entire first game trekking around trying to find his friends, and just so happens to solve most of the world's problems while he's at it.
Cheerful, friendly, and sincere, Sora is the type of person who doesn't rest until his goal is accomplished, but is still more than happy to take his time making new friends and helping people out along the way. Sure, sometimes he can be angry, impulsive, and downright angsty, but he switches between the two extremes so easily that Donald has started to suspect he may in fact be bipolar.
After the events of Chain of Memories, Sora ends up trapped in a giant artichoke cryogenic chamber in order to have his fragmented memories restored. Awaking one year later, stronger, faster, better!, Sora is ready to go on his journey to find Riku once more, this time aided by his new friend puberty! Sora in Kingdom Hearts II is taller, questionably more wise, and has the habit of blushing, staring and fidgeting whenever Disney couples get their mack on. Luckily for all involved, he's still upbeat and happy and striving to do his best for everyone he knows. Sora fights with a giant key of destiny, flies around in a gummi ship, and travels around with his friends Donald and Goofy. No, he doesn't see anything strange about a very angry duck and a dog that wears a hat. Do you?
Sample App:
Ow! Geez, Donald didn't have to knock me out of the airlock that hard. That really could have damaged something important, like the Keyblade! I guess it's a good thing it's harder than my head.
Speakin' of the Keyblade, when did it get an upgrade? "Aim for the Eyes?" Well, if it'll help me take out these weird Heartless, I'm all for it - if I can actually y'know, hit the eyes. What a weird place! All these Heartless around and nobody doing anything? Don't you know that the Heartless are dangeous? They're creatures without hearts that - oh. Well, okay, Mr. Heartless, I-I guess you do have a heart. I really didn't want to see that. Here, I'll just .. I'll just put back it for you, okay?
... Okay, this place is really weird. Seems like something Riku'd really like, though. Oh, that's right! Any of you guys seen a guy with silver hair and a really bad attitude? I've been looking for him for a while. And don't worry if you haven't, I'll just take a little look around. This place has a lot of dark places, so maybe he's just hiding - he likes to do that. So if he shows up in a wardrobe or under someone's bed or something, just tell him to come on out of the closet and I'll be right there to take him off your hands.
Anyway, since I'm here, I'll do other errands if anyone needs somethin' done. I can clear out a couple cabins, retrieve small but vicious animals, maybe escort people through the woods! I can pretty much do anything, except for stuff like laundry and babysitting. Trust me on this one. And don't worry, my services are really cheap. I just like giving a helping hand, you know? Put my skills to good use and all that.
My name's Sora, by the way! Sorry, I kinda forgot that I haven't been here before. I think it'll be great, though. Making new friends and memories, something right up my alley. But come on, you guys! Why all the sad faces? Put on a big smile and lift up your spirits! Like this, see?
App #2
Character: Sora
Series: Kingdom Hearts series
Character Age: 15 (KH II age)
Kingdom Hearts is one of gamings ultimate Odd Couples pairing
the world of Disney and the world of Square(soft)-Enix. The game is filled
with cameos from both Disney films and Final Fantasy games that may or may
not
Sora is the main character in the series. He is an upbeat, optimistic
teenager who may seem simple minded at times. He can be reckless and he is
quick to anger when people he cares about are threatened. But overall he is
a genuinely good guy and he'll stand by your side until the bitter end. He
comes from Destiny Islands and is close friends with Riku and Kairi, with
whom he is currently seperated from. He travels from world to world with
Donald and Goofy kicking heartless/nobody butt with an unusual weapon called
the Keyblade. He hopes to one day be reunited with his Island and his old
friends.
For those who are familiar with canon: This is Sora from the earlier stages
of KH2. He knows about the nobodies and the Organization, just not his role
in their plan.
Sample Post:
Hey, everybody! My name's Sora and this is Donald and Goo...
Donald? Goofy?
Well that's weird. We were in the ship together just a minute ago.
Ummm...Where is the ship anyway? Come to think of it, I don't actually
remember landing and getting off...
Oh well. I'm sure they'll catch up with me soon.
So anyway I'm looking for two friends of mine. Their names are Riku and
Kairi. Anybody seen them? No? Well how about heartless or some guys
dressed all in black? No, I don't mean the "Director" or the guy with the
large scythe lounging under the tree over there. I mean...
...
...never mind. So no heartless. No nobodies. I wonder why I'm here then.
Oh hey! There are moogles here? What a relief. I was hoping to find one
sooner or later. I was running out of supplies and it looks like I'm going
to at least need a tent if I'm gonna be camping out here for a while.
Let's see here... "Save...my...game."
Save my game? Huh?
Hmmm...maybe the little guy is temporarily out of supplies. That's a pretty
unusual service to offer instead though.
What a strange world. I've been to a lot of places but this one really
looks like the pits. Everything looks dark and dead. Sorta reminds me of
Halloween Town only no one looks like they're having a good time.
C'mon, guys! Cheer up! It can't be all bad. At least you can be glad that
you're all alive and well with friends by your side.
...Okay so you have a problem with disease. But at least you're alive with
friends by your side?
...At least you're alive?
Come on now. This world really can't be that bad to live in. Right?
Poll
Axel #1
Character: Axel
Series: Kingdom Hearts
Character Age: Not specified, appears to be in his late teens or early twenties.
Canon:
((Note: In the interest of being as spoiler-free as possible I’ve left out certain details regarding Axel’s true motives. If you have no intention of playing the game but are curious about him, click the link below. Other than that the canon section describes Axel as he would seem to an observer like, say, another camper. I don’t mention anything in the app that isn’t from Chain of Memories or from the first couple of hours in KH2.))
Axel, also known as the “Flurry of Dancing Flames” for his power over fire, is the eighth member of Organization XIII, a group of beings who have lost their hearts. Being heartless, many people believe that they are incapable of human emotion. Axel himself does show emotion, it just tends to be inappropriate. He is the kind of guy who’d laugh at a funeral. While his manner is playful, excitable, impetuous and sometimes childish he is actually very clever and cunning, able to manipulate people and events to suit his own needs.
Axel is the Organization’s resident assassin and is often assigned to carry out the Superior’s dirty work. He follows the orders with gusto, even if he does tend to twist them around to convenience himself. This tendency to look out for number one makes him an inconstant ally, and he sometimes changes sides during a conflict at his own whim. At least four members of Organization XIII can trace their deaths directly back to Axel even though none of them have ever openly opposed or even bothered him. However, as capable as Axel is of cruelty he is equally capable of, if not actual empathy, a pretty good emulation of it. When he’s not murdering someone or setting something on fire Axel is seeking Roxas, another member of the Organization, and his only friend. As he puts it Roxas makes him feel like he has a heart. Finding him is his personal priority.
Sample Post:
I demand to be told the purpose of your scaled death turkeys. They kinda piss me off.
What? Hey, listen, I’m always willing to carry out orders, okay? I’ll do what I have to, turkeys or no, but, gee, these orders are getting a bit weird now. I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when someone said “Let’s send Number Eight to summer camp”. I wonder what part of that it was that sounded like a good idea?
Oh, sure, they said something about a Camp Director who needed to be destroyed and who was “crushing magical ninja kids under her iron jackboot of oppression.” Actually, I stopped paying attention when they brought up “velociraptors”, “pilots” a lake and some sort of barrier. Then it struck me . . . lake? Roxas always did love lakes . . .
Well, the point is that they gave me orders to see to this Director woman. And I accepted since I might see Roxas again. Not like I really had a choice anyway, right? Orders are orders.
So I came and I met your turkeys. You know . . . the second I got here they jumped on me? They had these really big, sharp toenails. Hurt like hell. Anyway, I kinda ah . . . I kinda torched ‘em. They’re over there if you want any. I don’t. I mean . . . I like my meat medium rare but it always comes out well done. So you can have it! See? I’m a nice guy!
But wow, attack poultry, what a welcoming committee! I’d feel flattered but I’ll bet you greet all of the heartless pyrophiles that way.
I’ll return the favor. Promise. There will be a turkey roast tonight!
Until then. . .well. . ..Let’s just say your Director and I have a date. A hot date.
You hear that, Director? I’m coming for you and your snap-jawed turkeys aren’t going to stop me! You can throw as many of them at me as you want but animals tend to dislike temperatures over 400 degrees! One of life’s little rules. Got it memorized?
Axel #2
Character: Axel
Series: Kingdom Hearts
Character Age: Unknown
(WARNING. BOTH CANON INFO AND POST CONTAIN SPOILERS. Spoilers in the info are WHITED OUT, spoilers in the post ARE NOT.)
Canon: In the magical land of crossover crack that is Kingdom Hearts, there exists a mysterious group of people who call themselves Organization XIII. Proving that creativity really isn't a requirement to join, they get their name by the fact that they're, well, an organization of thirteen people in stylin' black coats. While they look human and do a pretty good job of acting it, they're actually Nobodies, the byproduct of someone with a strong heart becoming a Heartless.
Axel is Organization member number eight. He's loud, sarcastic, and utterly ruthless. Inside the Organization, he's responsible for disposing of those less than loyal to the cause--the lesser Nobodies he controls are called Assassins, after all. He treats everyone, even his immediate superiors, with a sort of joking condescention. Despite the fact that his element is fire, he's surprisingly level-headed and calculating. The only time he looses is cool is when (highlight for spoilers) member number thirteen, Roxas (who is the Nobody of the main character, Sora), is involved. You see, Roxas is his gay lover best friend. He also defects from the Organization, which means Axel's responsible for killing him. Needless to say, things get really complicated around that time, especially when Axel fails and Roxas and Sora merge. He proceeds to spend the rest of the game slowly breaking away from the Organization in his obsessive quest to turn Sora into a Heartless in order to get Roxas back. In the end, he sacrifices himself to save Sora, and in the process, Roxas.
...okay, so. There's this thing where when you go out in a heroic blaze of glory, you generally, I don't know, expect to actually go out. Especially when you're a Nobody. I'm pretty sure I should've just disappeared or something. Not that I'm complaining about not being dead, mind you. It's just... to say that it's not what I was expecting would be the understatement of the century.
I used to think that one world with the singing sea creatures was weird. A summer camp with no way out, huh? And zombies? Well, on the evil scale, I'd say it ranks somewhere between kicking puppies and that one time Demyx decided we needed a karaoke night. I'd be impressed if it weren't, you know, suddenly my problem. Which is probably what I get for defecting. Let this be a lesson to you, kids: when you sign on to join an evil organization, don't get so distracted by the snazzy uniforms that you forget to ask for a nice severance package. And speaking of the uniforms, damn are they not made for this kind of weather. Black leather plus humidity do not a happy me make.
But I digress. Anyway, I figure all's I have to do is wait for the keybrat to show up. After all, it's like he's practically got a homing device on anything Organization-related. So he'll show up with that oversized key of his, do that unlocking thing, and I'll be out of here faster than you can question the whole concept of his weapon in the first place. Then it's back to dealing with the giant mess that is the situation with Roxas. Every minute I spend her is a minute I could be using to get him back. So, Sora, you'd better get here quick, or our next meeting won't be as lovey-dovey as our last--got it memorized?
...while I wait, I think I'm gonna go see how flammable things are around here.
Axel #3
Character: Axel
Series: Kingdom Hearts II/Chain of Memories
Age: Unknown
Warning: Canon contains general spoilers for ALL of Chain of Memories, as well as minor spoilers for the first two worlds of Kingdom Hearts II. Endgame spoilers are under a cut.
Canon: Known as the "Flurry of the Dancing Flames," Axel is a member of Organization XIII, a group of black-cloaked Nobodies intent on discovering the secrets behind the human heart. Axel slings around a pair of giant chakram that are hell on his posture, but useful for throwing, lighting on fire, or stabbing in the back of friend and foe alike. If you think Axel's on your side? Better make your list and check it twice, because Axel doesn't care if you've been naughty or nice. He plays games by his own rules and follows his own agenda, and if that means killing an ally in order to make his enemies trust him? In Axel's own words, it's just "weeding the garden." Clever and ruthless, Axel nonetheless has something of a theatrical personality, with really great hips, flamboyant hand gestures, and a highly sarcastic and expressive tone of voice accented with words such as "silly" or "icky."
Despite this strong personality, Axel is actually a Nobody; an empty shell of a being created after a strong-willed person loses their heart to Darkness. He remembers what it was like to have a heart, but doesn't have one of his own. As such, it is the goal of Organization XIII to discover more about hearts in order to validate their existence. Axel, however, has another goal: that is, to find and stay close to his boyfriend best friend, Roxas. Endgame Spoilers: Most of Axel's actions, including his various double-crossings and assassinations, are all part of an effort to keep Roxas from finding out that he is actually the Nobody of the hero, Sora. Axel fears (and rightly so) that if Roxas finds out, he will leave the Organization, merge with Sora, and become forever lost as an individual. In the end, however, Axel meets up with Sora one last time on the pathway to the World That Never Was and puts everything he has into a suicidal attack to save Sora's life. Roxas, Axel tells him, was the only one that he liked - the only one who made him feel like he actually had a heart. And maybe he'll see him again, in the next life.
Sample App:
Well, I've gotta say! That is QUITE the welcoming committee you kids have got here. The helpful pamphlets on preventing "Architeuthidae Architeuthis Non-Consensual Penetration" (that's, what...? squid rape?) Grade A entertainment, really - though I could have done without the icky illustrations. Oh, and I'm a big fan of the fruit baskets, too. Shoutaloupe, huh? Sounds a little... illegal, if you know what I mean! But that's A-OK.
Nothing wrong with liking younger men!`
... speaking of which. Fruits and non-mainstream sexual practices aside, I'm here for a reason, name of Roxas. Spiky blond hair, big blue eyes, toting around a giant fucking key, you know. Hard to miss!
Tried asking around already, but the answers I got were less than helpful. "Only YOU can prevent forest fires!" is not acceptable, relevant, or anything I want to hear. What's wrong with a little arson, I ask you? Unfortunately for him, Mr. Smokey didn't seem to like that too much, so now we've got Mr. Smokey Barbecue with a side-order of Fur Flambee. Hope there's no Mama Bear about, because I'm really not in the mood to find out if Organization XIII liability insurance covers manslaughter, bearslaughter, or disturbances in the Force, as if millions of childhoods cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.
Anyway! Other than my pal Smokey, the only other less-than-helpful contact I've had with anybody thus far has been via email, and like I said. Less than helpful. For the record, Mr. Cabbage R. Commemorating, I may not OVERCOMPENSATE like Saix, but nobody's EVER complained about my endowment. And do fuck off, Mr. Arbitrary Q. Aphrodisiac. I don't feel like an empty shell of a person without my better half by my side, I'm not looking for a match on NobodiesTogether.com, and I sure as hell am not following the Yellow Brick Road anywhere. Thanks, but no thanks.
Seriously, people. I'm JUST here to find Roxas, and then I'll be out of your hair - wham, bam, thank you, ma'am. So if you see him, be a pal and tell him that Axel's looking for him? That's A-X-E-L, Axel. Got it memorized?
Poll