(no subject)
First batch! Box woman's going to follow up with a second batch later this afternoon. We're doing a little bit of weeding this round, but not that much. ♥
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
Now VOTE. Looks like we're good to go with this one. Closed! jedera will have the next batch up shortly.
Character: Asakura Kazumi
Series: Mahou Sensei Negima!
Age: 14
Canon: Asakura Kazumi is the resident student reporter of Mahora Academy class 3-A. A proud member of the news club and known among fellow students as the "Mahora Paparazzi," she's made it her mission to uncover any and all news that will shock the world (or at least the school). She can be ruthless and manipulative in pursuit of her ambition, but she has a soft side that allows her to be topped by adorable children such as her genius 10-year-old teacher Negi, whose life as a mage she was persuaded to keep secret... although not without finding ways to use this to her financial advantage. She also befriended the class ghost, Sayo, after finding out the sweet and shy girl only wanted to make friends, not scare or hurt people.
Over all, Kazumi has a friendly, outgoing, enthusiastic personality with an occasional teasing streak. As a reporter, she's also fond of providing running commentary for competitive events and is rarely seen without her camera and/or microphone.
Sample Post:
You know, I had my doubts about this place at first. Sure, I'm willing to go through a hell of a lot to get a breaking scoop, but I do have standards. I had to stop and ask myself if it was worth flying all the way to America to see "Real Un-Live Zombies, Cuddly Purple Gorillas, and a Human Population Gayer Than a May Day Parade on Christmas!!!" I mean, whoever sent me the pamphlet? I hate to rain on that parade of yours, but your laundry list of tourist attractions doesn't cut it for me. What's there for me to discover and expose to the world if you yourself are already advertising that you have these things?
But I wasn't ready to throw it away just yet. There had to be stuff the pamphlet wasn't telling me. So I did some investigating online, and hey -- what's this I hear about a murder mystery? Rumors of children, teenagers, and adults alike held hostage for over a year?! Now we're talking. Camp Fuck You Die, you've just earned yourself one Mahora Paparazzi star reporter!
Things have already taken an unexpected twist at my first point of investigation -- our very own co-ed onsen! What have I found here? An illegitimate love affair?! Why else would a zombie and a gorilla choose this of all places to play tonsil hockey? That scalding water can't be good for Miss Zombie's sensitive decaying skin. And as for the gorilla, what fur-covered mammal in its right mind would go near a body of water that hot in the middle of summer? See the looks of pain on their faces that say, "I must endure this only for the sake of being with my other half!" Knowing they'd be shunned by their respective clans, the two must've eloped to the one area in all of camp where they knew no other of their kind would dare set foot!
You there! I saw it all, so you can either give up the details quietly to me now or suffer the wrath of both your families when I show them these pictures. Tell me, lady in the green, how did you come to risk all of what's left of your life for this purple gentleman here?
... What's that? Sorry, I'll have to ask you to clarify that comment. Do you mean "He's so intelligent; I simply fell in love with his braaaaains" or "I seduced him with the plan of bringing his guard down so I could open up his head and eat his braaaaains"? Don't be shy! Oh, and don't think you can get rid of me by telling me where I can stick my microphone, either. Believe me, hearing things like that comes with the job. It's become almost motivational, in a --
Ahahah. Well. Can't say I've ever gotten a visual demonstration before. Points for originality! Now back to the question...
Poll Vote!
Character: Touya Akira
Series: Hikaru no Go (manga) http://anzwers.org/free/hikago/home.html
Age: 15
Canon: Fierce, intense and intimidating as he can be over the goban, Touya Akira is usually polite and pleasant to strangers and quite warm with friends, but can be bitchy at times when people say things he disagrees with. He can seem absent-minded, but is rather intelligent and puts his entire focus behind anything he's interested in. Go is his world.
He doesn't tend to make friends his own age, generally choosing to associate with adults. His intimidating amount of skill at playing Go and his inability to hold back during games often cause his peers to dislike him.
Sometimes mature beyond his age, he can be made to act incredibly childish - especially by Shindou Hikaru (another Go player and his eternal rival).
Sample Post:
I arrived in this swamp in the early afternoon, completely unprepared for the pungent stench of rotting flesh. When I finally came to the spot where I was to meet my client I was, instead, met by a small, green creature with tentacles. It was at this point I realised I must be hallucinating. Clearly too much time spent in the company of Shindou had driven me mad. I feared that next I would start having arguments with imaginary people. The hallucination proceeded to attack my shoes and excrete some sort of bodily fluid all over my socks. I distracted it with my tie and finally drove it off by throwing my tie into a tree.
As I attempted to leave I was tripped by a low-hanging tree branch - I'm positive that it moved all on its own - and fell into a lake with the most disgusting water I've ever seen. It was green and bubbling. It ate away part of the left sleeve of my jacket and fused the pages of Weekly Go together (I hadn't gotten to study the match results yet).
I moved away from the lake in search of bathrooms, and when I called out asking for help because I needed directions and mentioned something about not knowing what to do with my jacket I was hit from above with a green slimy substance. When I finally found some showers the taps spurted out and splattered me with a red liquid which was eerily reminiscent of blood. I am currently covered in unidentified liquids, some of which are congealing in my hair.
This is definitely the most horrible experience of my life that didn't involve Go. Is there anyone who would be so kind as to show me where I can clean myself off? Or at least provide me with a readable copy of Weekly Go? I'll try not to drip on it.
Poll Vote!
Character: Mungojerrie
Series: Cats
Age: Kitten. Unspecified, but, camper-age for a cat.
Canon: Cats is a musical about a tribe of, well, anthropomorphic cats who sing and dance and are overly affectionate to one another. There's really not much more one can say.
Two of those cats, Mungojerrie and his twin sister, Rumpleteaser, are acrobats, miscreants and clowns, but more often than not, they're cat burglars. Whatever they find useful or sparkly, they'll steal; whatever's tasty, they'll eat; whatever seems valuable, they'll break. It's all mostly light-hearted and neither of them are particularly competent (though they may gloat that they are). Although there are rumours that Mungojerrie was involved as an agent under the command of the infamous 'Napoleon of Crime' himself, Macavity, a cat that wrecks havoc and lawlessness at every turn. That's rumours for you.
Mungojerrie is, for all intents and purposes, the average young tomcat, and also, very cockney. Not completely in his prime, he still retains his kitten bounciness as well as the cockiness of adolescence. But if there is any slice of seriousness between he and his sister, it belongs to Mungojerrie. When Rumple giggles, he's there to shush her. He probably considers himself to be the brains of the operation, but at the end of day, Mungo is just as irresponsible and silly as his sister.
Sample Post:
So you might be wonderin' 'ow I got into this mess. And that's quite a story, believe you me. It may or may not involve a stolen bracelet with baubles on. It may or may not involve a brief run in with a copper. It may or may not involve an uncovered manhole and an unsuspectin' cat.
What it def'nitely does involve is a raft, which I'm currently on; a lake, which the raft is currently on; and a tentacle, which is currently in the lake. That's really all y'need t'know at this point in time, I reckon. But here's the thing. It's not a situation I'm much liking, so! If someone could maybe lend me a paw or two, let's just say good ol' Mungojerrie will owe you, eh? Eh?
Oh bloody 'ell, orright, 'ow 'bout you then? Yeah you, shufflin' along on the shore. Wanna help a cat out? C'mon, everyone loves an adorable kitten-- well, you can jus' quit laughin', I 'appen to be very cute, thanks. Well, orright, me sister's better for givin' the big eyes, so 'ow about we negotiate instead. You look like you could use one or two favours, seein' as you're missing a few... er... spare parts. Why don't y'get me outta this mess, and then I'll go nab you an extra hand or leg? Cor, you humans just fall t'pieces under pressure.
Oh, very well then, I might as well jump it. Between you and me, I've been known t'jump at least ten feet, so no worries. Rumours, o' course, but y'gotta wonder 'ow that sorta thing gets around, eh? Not t'toot me own horn or nothin', but that wasn't even from a running start. Pretty impressive, even if it's just a rumour, wink wink nudge nudge.
Orright, 'ere we go, haha! Three... two... one... TALLY-OOMPH--
;ds;sjhlal;!!JkL%Kasl,,;L;dlsaa;}
...ahem.
Well. Y'know. Y'can't believe everythin' you hear and anyway, that 'ad to be at least twenty feet. Maybe fifteen. Twelve at a stretch.
Good thing me swimming skills are impeccable.
Poll Vote!
Character: Rumpleteazer
Series: Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats
Age: Unspecified, but she is a kitten
Canon: Cats is a musical about anthropomorphic cats who sing and dance...yes, that's about all. Singing, dancing, talking cats. Self-explanatory, really.
Twins, best friends and OTP all packed in one neat bundle of mischief, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer are about as close as any two kittens can get. Tricksters, thieves and clowns, they spend their days wreaking havoc and inevitably getting caught.
Rumpleteazer is irrepressibly cheerful, cocky, and bouncy, and has a penchant for trying to steal shiny things, especially pearls. She is, however, a complete failure as a thief, and tends to burst into giggles halfway through the twins' operations, which makes it rather hard for them to stay unnoticed.
The accent is canon.
Sample Post:
Oi! Oi! You inna lake! Now, lookit, you're an...octopussy thing, which is a fish, right? An' I'm a cat. You got it the wrong way 'round. I'm supposed to eat you. An' I'm not goin' for a swim, no matter how sparkly y'try t'make y'self. I don't like water at all. Not even shiny...shiiiiiiiny...are those pearls onna bottom?...so shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny...
...Jerrie says I ain't allowed to try to take shinies without him.
What d'you mean, can't take the thief outta the kitten? I ain't a thief! We're not murderers, neither. You got the wrong idea, guv! We are per-feck-ly innocent kittens, never did nothin' wrong...'cept there was that incident with the pearls, an' the roast...an' the vase...an' we didn't mean to make water come through the roof. It's wrongful imprisonment to keep us here all alone with the octopussies an' the trees an' no shiny things at all except for those pearls. An' they're inna water. An' the birdies. The dretful birdies. They oughtn't t'say those kinds o'things about a kitten. I never done none o' that. An' where've you put Mungojerrie? He's somewhere aroun' here, right?
...Did you drop him inna lake? With the octopussy?
Ew. I'm gonna be the one who has t'clean th'lake water off of 'im, y'know? An' that's gotta taste dretful. Mistreatment of pris'ners! Coppers ain't allowed t'do things like that t'innocent kittens! Y'better give 'im back, or I'm tellin' - I'm tellin' - you're gonna be in big trouble, lady! I got claws! There ain't nothin' worser you c'n do to me! You wouldn't dare!
....
That's a lie. That's a horrible, cruel lie. You ain't gone and messed with the milk.
Poll Vote!
Character: Cielo
Series: Digital Devil Saga
Age: Unknown. Appears 17-ish?
Canon: Cielo hails from a barren world called the Junkyard, where
five emotionless Tribes go planning to kill each other, killing each other,
and…then hanging around looking cool. The one that kills/assimilates the
rest gets to enter 'Nirvana,' where its members get everything they could
ever wish for. But one day, with a flash of light, everyone gains the power
to turn into demons, who must devour each other to survive. At the
same time, the Tribes’ emotions, memories and general humanity are unlocked.
CHAOS. And that’s just the opening cutscene, folks!
Cielo is from the Embryon Tribe. He’s one of the first to gain
emotions--along with an outrageous Jamaican accent--and provides the
comic relief in an otherwise pissy/angsty/blank group. He's mostly cheerful,
upbeat and friendly; painfully honest, awkward and a tad sarcastic. (He'll
even dance a jammin' Latin rhythm to make you smile, mon!) Still, he has his
serious moments: he believes in shouldering one's own burdens, and would lay
down his life for his comrades.
--oh, and his demon form is Dyaus. Dyaus has pretty rainbow patterns and can
fly. It will also cut you. ♥
Sample Post:
'Ey, 'ey, 'ey, dis ain't funny! Not in de Junkyard, anymore, sure, I got dat
down fine. But what's de big idea dumping me out here all by myself, eh,
guys? Guys? Jeez! Fight de scary giant Angel, Cielo. Go t’rough
the gate, Cielo. Track us down in dis place t’rough de…what’re you guys
called? Trees? Ja, trees. Thanks. Where de trees keep wagglin’ dere
guitars at you, Cielo. THANKS, MON. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT-
Oh, hey! Company! Dat you, leader? Gale? Argilla?
Ooookay, maybe not, ‘cos even Gale ain’t dat green. Or skinny. Or--what's
up with you guys, anyway? All dese long faces and groans? You're worse den
de Embryon first thing in de morning--you'd think you were dead or
something, mon! Loosen up!
Eh, I didn't mean dat much, brudda. So de head goes dere and
your arm goes here and...uh. Don't think I can help you much with
de brains problem, mon. Everybody's gotta bear dere own karma, and your
karma ain't in my head, sorry. Sure you'll find some soon, though, eh? Don't
look so down--here, have some of my jammin' Latin rhythm! Feel de beat!
Cheer up!
--no, dis is a solo dance, brudda. Really! De hands, dey don't go
dere. Even if dey ain't attached to you no mo.' ESPECIALLY if dey ain't
attached to you no mo.' Quit dat. Quit! What de heck, don’t make me do
dis.
…
At least in de Junkyard all a guy had to worry about was getting
eaten. De people here are nuts! Taste like chicken, though.
Poll Vote!
Character: Hiruma Youichi
Series: Eyeshield 21
Age: 17
Canon: Hiruma Youichi is the Captain and quarterback of the Deimon
Devilbats, a football team from Deimon High School. He's known as the
'devil' and is aptly named. Carrying an entire arsenal of grenade launchers,
shotguns, rifles, machine guns, he even looks the part with his blonde hair,
pointy ears, sharp teeth and shiny piercings. He swears constantly and never
calls anyone by their names (read: Sena - fucking midget). Whenever Hiruma
wants something done, he would consult his little "blackmail notebook", and
proceed without any hesitation whatsoever into blackmailing people (even the
school principal) into getting what he wants. Aside from that, he also owns
a tiny but vicious little dog called Cerberos, which he usually uses as a
form of 'incentive' to get his team members to run faster. This allows him
to rule the entire school and his team with an iron fist.
With only a rare few who rival him in intelligence, he has been spotted as
the Devilbats's hidden ace for his brilliant strategy plays and
psychological games on the field. There is almost no information on his
private life; presumably, anyone who does would've probably been shot by
now.
Sample Post:
Ya-HA!
Forget the fucking 'romance of the fiance murder mystery' shit, I knew this
place was the best fucking football training ground ever since I saw that
pamphlet! Wide open spaces, horny gorillas that aren't afraid to take you
down, biting zombies that'd have any fucking loser run his best on a
40 yard dash! Not to mention this shiny new shotgun! Kekeke, knew I could
count on America to provide free firearms. Seeing how this camp is run
though, I might not have to waste any of my precious ammo on those fucking
Devilbat brats. Keep up the good work, fucking director!
Speaking of the team, where the hell are those fucking retards? I send them
on their own to this camp and still no sign of them. Keh, figures. Four more
months to the Christmas Bowl and they're still whining like a couple of
fucking babies. Once Cerberos tracks them down, I'm going to feed them to
the squirrels, then put them through the Camp Fuck You Die training regime
from hell.
1) 100 laps round the lake. Any slackers will be made to run in the
lake with the fucking tentacles, with the lap count going straight back to
zero.
2) 40-yard dash with raw meat strapped to their backs and a zombie attached
to the waist by a leash. Better be running unless they want their
heads bitten off. Can't forget Cerberos of course.
3) All linemen to practice defense against the gorillas. Any fucker who
fails, I'm taking his pants and leaving the gorillas to deal with the rest
of him.
4) Substitute ladder drill on the landmine area. Move too fucking slow and
I'll help with my machine gun.
5) Pass practice with an open bag of nuts. Drop one and I'll be aiming for a
different kind of nut. Drop the whole bag and that sorry idiot will join the
fucking linemen, naked.
6) Since we need training outside of the brainless wildlife, we'll be doing
practice sessions with other campers. We got moving targets a-fucking-plenty
here, kekekeke.
--what's this? Looks like Cerberos has found the scent of one fucking
midget.
THE HUNT IS ON. YA-HA~!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Marluxia
Series: Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories
Age: Appearance is in his late teens.
Canon: Marluxia's canon in three acts.
Act 1:
Marluxia: "Hey, Larxene. Let's join forces as two of the lowest-ranking members and overthrow the Organization so I can be the sole ruler."
Larxene: "Well, I have to do SOMETHING while my nails are drying."
Act 2:
Axel: "S'up, I'm totally on your side."
Vexen: "I'm not! Wait, don't... hurt me or nothing."
Marluxia: "Great! Vexen, go kill Sora. By which I mean, die! Axel, go kill that traitor."
Axel: "Okay! 8D"
Marluxia: "Great!"
Axel: "You're kind of stupid."
Act 3:
Axel: [fucks Marluxia right in the plans]
Marluxia: "Wait, what? Axel, you bitch! ...Namine! I know you betrayed us in order to save Sora, but I order you to erase Sora's memories!"
Namine: "...k, no."
Marluxia: "Damn! Well, I'll just--"
[IT'S NOT A KH GAME WITHOUT A GIANT FLYING SHIP BATTLE]
[Marluxia gets pwned and locked away in an empty void, stage right.]
[CURTAIN]
In short, Marluxia is one of the newest members of Organization XIII and the assigned owner of Castle Oblivion (...basically an Organization secret clubhouse) and of Namine (their pet witch). He is egotistical, vain, and an excellent manipulator except, well, not nearly as excellent at it as he thinks he is. He is cunning. He is sly and smirky. He is fruity as all hell. His element is Flowers. He also has a giant floral battleship with cherry blossom lasers on it.
Sample Post:
Those fools! Did Axel really believe I could be stopped merely through the power of the Keyblade? Truly, the dark realm into which I was locked was terrible, but my ambition burned hotter than the flames of his betrayal. Finally, I found light in the darkness and escaped into this realm!
The flower bed I have landed in is one that bespeaks the good taste of this world. Broom-rape? Hemlock? Foxglove? Narcissus? Yew? All flowers I am quite addicted to raising in my own gardens (Although admittedly, I wish I knew how to quit yew; it quite takes over other parts of the garden). I must confess I lingered here a while, but as an unfamiliar flower in this garden I feared the risk of being weeded and slipped off to find out what manner of place this might be.
And it is an unusual place indeed. The atmosphere is foul, and it lacks the beautiful harmonies of the White Rooms in Castle Oblivion, but the foliage is wonderfully aggressive. I could get used to this place, perhaps. The bees may be a problem; I am aware that I flow with sweet nectar, but I would still rather not allow them to sup from the delicate appurtenances of my body.
But I cannot allow myself to relax in this place. I am a man on a mission to lead the Organization out of the darkness of the Superior's expatiating speeches, into a new age of relaxation, reaching our goals in a less torturous manner. We can have casual Fridays under my rulership. Free soda for all the Nobodies. They would see the glory of my plan and follow me, surely!
Besides, I really could not stay here after that monster attempted indignities on me. I managed to avoid defloration, but I must confess, the occasion has left me positively wilted.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
Now VOTE. Looks like we're good to go with this one. Closed! jedera will have the next batch up shortly.
Character: Asakura Kazumi
Series: Mahou Sensei Negima!
Age: 14
Canon: Asakura Kazumi is the resident student reporter of Mahora Academy class 3-A. A proud member of the news club and known among fellow students as the "Mahora Paparazzi," she's made it her mission to uncover any and all news that will shock the world (or at least the school). She can be ruthless and manipulative in pursuit of her ambition, but she has a soft side that allows her to be topped by adorable children such as her genius 10-year-old teacher Negi, whose life as a mage she was persuaded to keep secret... although not without finding ways to use this to her financial advantage. She also befriended the class ghost, Sayo, after finding out the sweet and shy girl only wanted to make friends, not scare or hurt people.
Over all, Kazumi has a friendly, outgoing, enthusiastic personality with an occasional teasing streak. As a reporter, she's also fond of providing running commentary for competitive events and is rarely seen without her camera and/or microphone.
Sample Post:
You know, I had my doubts about this place at first. Sure, I'm willing to go through a hell of a lot to get a breaking scoop, but I do have standards. I had to stop and ask myself if it was worth flying all the way to America to see "Real Un-Live Zombies, Cuddly Purple Gorillas, and a Human Population Gayer Than a May Day Parade on Christmas!!!" I mean, whoever sent me the pamphlet? I hate to rain on that parade of yours, but your laundry list of tourist attractions doesn't cut it for me. What's there for me to discover and expose to the world if you yourself are already advertising that you have these things?
But I wasn't ready to throw it away just yet. There had to be stuff the pamphlet wasn't telling me. So I did some investigating online, and hey -- what's this I hear about a murder mystery? Rumors of children, teenagers, and adults alike held hostage for over a year?! Now we're talking. Camp Fuck You Die, you've just earned yourself one Mahora Paparazzi star reporter!
Things have already taken an unexpected twist at my first point of investigation -- our very own co-ed onsen! What have I found here? An illegitimate love affair?! Why else would a zombie and a gorilla choose this of all places to play tonsil hockey? That scalding water can't be good for Miss Zombie's sensitive decaying skin. And as for the gorilla, what fur-covered mammal in its right mind would go near a body of water that hot in the middle of summer? See the looks of pain on their faces that say, "I must endure this only for the sake of being with my other half!" Knowing they'd be shunned by their respective clans, the two must've eloped to the one area in all of camp where they knew no other of their kind would dare set foot!
You there! I saw it all, so you can either give up the details quietly to me now or suffer the wrath of both your families when I show them these pictures. Tell me, lady in the green, how did you come to risk all of what's left of your life for this purple gentleman here?
... What's that? Sorry, I'll have to ask you to clarify that comment. Do you mean "He's so intelligent; I simply fell in love with his braaaaains" or "I seduced him with the plan of bringing his guard down so I could open up his head and eat his braaaaains"? Don't be shy! Oh, and don't think you can get rid of me by telling me where I can stick my microphone, either. Believe me, hearing things like that comes with the job. It's become almost motivational, in a --
Ahahah. Well. Can't say I've ever gotten a visual demonstration before. Points for originality! Now back to the question...
Poll Vote!
Character: Touya Akira
Series: Hikaru no Go (manga) http://anzwers.org/free/hikago/home.html
Age: 15
Canon: Fierce, intense and intimidating as he can be over the goban, Touya Akira is usually polite and pleasant to strangers and quite warm with friends, but can be bitchy at times when people say things he disagrees with. He can seem absent-minded, but is rather intelligent and puts his entire focus behind anything he's interested in. Go is his world.
He doesn't tend to make friends his own age, generally choosing to associate with adults. His intimidating amount of skill at playing Go and his inability to hold back during games often cause his peers to dislike him.
Sometimes mature beyond his age, he can be made to act incredibly childish - especially by Shindou Hikaru (another Go player and his eternal rival).
Sample Post:
I arrived in this swamp in the early afternoon, completely unprepared for the pungent stench of rotting flesh. When I finally came to the spot where I was to meet my client I was, instead, met by a small, green creature with tentacles. It was at this point I realised I must be hallucinating. Clearly too much time spent in the company of Shindou had driven me mad. I feared that next I would start having arguments with imaginary people. The hallucination proceeded to attack my shoes and excrete some sort of bodily fluid all over my socks. I distracted it with my tie and finally drove it off by throwing my tie into a tree.
As I attempted to leave I was tripped by a low-hanging tree branch - I'm positive that it moved all on its own - and fell into a lake with the most disgusting water I've ever seen. It was green and bubbling. It ate away part of the left sleeve of my jacket and fused the pages of Weekly Go together (I hadn't gotten to study the match results yet).
I moved away from the lake in search of bathrooms, and when I called out asking for help because I needed directions and mentioned something about not knowing what to do with my jacket I was hit from above with a green slimy substance. When I finally found some showers the taps spurted out and splattered me with a red liquid which was eerily reminiscent of blood. I am currently covered in unidentified liquids, some of which are congealing in my hair.
This is definitely the most horrible experience of my life that didn't involve Go. Is there anyone who would be so kind as to show me where I can clean myself off? Or at least provide me with a readable copy of Weekly Go? I'll try not to drip on it.
Poll Vote!
Character: Mungojerrie
Series: Cats
Age: Kitten. Unspecified, but, camper-age for a cat.
Canon: Cats is a musical about a tribe of, well, anthropomorphic cats who sing and dance and are overly affectionate to one another. There's really not much more one can say.
Two of those cats, Mungojerrie and his twin sister, Rumpleteaser, are acrobats, miscreants and clowns, but more often than not, they're cat burglars. Whatever they find useful or sparkly, they'll steal; whatever's tasty, they'll eat; whatever seems valuable, they'll break. It's all mostly light-hearted and neither of them are particularly competent (though they may gloat that they are). Although there are rumours that Mungojerrie was involved as an agent under the command of the infamous 'Napoleon of Crime' himself, Macavity, a cat that wrecks havoc and lawlessness at every turn. That's rumours for you.
Mungojerrie is, for all intents and purposes, the average young tomcat, and also, very cockney. Not completely in his prime, he still retains his kitten bounciness as well as the cockiness of adolescence. But if there is any slice of seriousness between he and his sister, it belongs to Mungojerrie. When Rumple giggles, he's there to shush her. He probably considers himself to be the brains of the operation, but at the end of day, Mungo is just as irresponsible and silly as his sister.
Sample Post:
So you might be wonderin' 'ow I got into this mess. And that's quite a story, believe you me. It may or may not involve a stolen bracelet with baubles on. It may or may not involve a brief run in with a copper. It may or may not involve an uncovered manhole and an unsuspectin' cat.
What it def'nitely does involve is a raft, which I'm currently on; a lake, which the raft is currently on; and a tentacle, which is currently in the lake. That's really all y'need t'know at this point in time, I reckon. But here's the thing. It's not a situation I'm much liking, so! If someone could maybe lend me a paw or two, let's just say good ol' Mungojerrie will owe you, eh? Eh?
Oh bloody 'ell, orright, 'ow 'bout you then? Yeah you, shufflin' along on the shore. Wanna help a cat out? C'mon, everyone loves an adorable kitten-- well, you can jus' quit laughin', I 'appen to be very cute, thanks. Well, orright, me sister's better for givin' the big eyes, so 'ow about we negotiate instead. You look like you could use one or two favours, seein' as you're missing a few... er... spare parts. Why don't y'get me outta this mess, and then I'll go nab you an extra hand or leg? Cor, you humans just fall t'pieces under pressure.
Oh, very well then, I might as well jump it. Between you and me, I've been known t'jump at least ten feet, so no worries. Rumours, o' course, but y'gotta wonder 'ow that sorta thing gets around, eh? Not t'toot me own horn or nothin', but that wasn't even from a running start. Pretty impressive, even if it's just a rumour, wink wink nudge nudge.
Orright, 'ere we go, haha! Three... two... one... TALLY-OOMPH--
;ds;sjhlal;!!JkL%Kasl,,;L;dlsaa;}
...ahem.
Well. Y'know. Y'can't believe everythin' you hear and anyway, that 'ad to be at least twenty feet. Maybe fifteen. Twelve at a stretch.
Good thing me swimming skills are impeccable.
Poll Vote!
Character: Rumpleteazer
Series: Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats
Age: Unspecified, but she is a kitten
Canon: Cats is a musical about anthropomorphic cats who sing and dance...yes, that's about all. Singing, dancing, talking cats. Self-explanatory, really.
Twins, best friends and OTP all packed in one neat bundle of mischief, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer are about as close as any two kittens can get. Tricksters, thieves and clowns, they spend their days wreaking havoc and inevitably getting caught.
Rumpleteazer is irrepressibly cheerful, cocky, and bouncy, and has a penchant for trying to steal shiny things, especially pearls. She is, however, a complete failure as a thief, and tends to burst into giggles halfway through the twins' operations, which makes it rather hard for them to stay unnoticed.
The accent is canon.
Sample Post:
Oi! Oi! You inna lake! Now, lookit, you're an...octopussy thing, which is a fish, right? An' I'm a cat. You got it the wrong way 'round. I'm supposed to eat you. An' I'm not goin' for a swim, no matter how sparkly y'try t'make y'self. I don't like water at all. Not even shiny...shiiiiiiiny...are those pearls onna bottom?...so shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny...
...Jerrie says I ain't allowed to try to take shinies without him.
What d'you mean, can't take the thief outta the kitten? I ain't a thief! We're not murderers, neither. You got the wrong idea, guv! We are per-feck-ly innocent kittens, never did nothin' wrong...'cept there was that incident with the pearls, an' the roast...an' the vase...an' we didn't mean to make water come through the roof. It's wrongful imprisonment to keep us here all alone with the octopussies an' the trees an' no shiny things at all except for those pearls. An' they're inna water. An' the birdies. The dretful birdies. They oughtn't t'say those kinds o'things about a kitten. I never done none o' that. An' where've you put Mungojerrie? He's somewhere aroun' here, right?
...Did you drop him inna lake? With the octopussy?
Ew. I'm gonna be the one who has t'clean th'lake water off of 'im, y'know? An' that's gotta taste dretful. Mistreatment of pris'ners! Coppers ain't allowed t'do things like that t'innocent kittens! Y'better give 'im back, or I'm tellin' - I'm tellin' - you're gonna be in big trouble, lady! I got claws! There ain't nothin' worser you c'n do to me! You wouldn't dare!
....
That's a lie. That's a horrible, cruel lie. You ain't gone and messed with the milk.
Poll Vote!
Character: Cielo
Series: Digital Devil Saga
Age: Unknown. Appears 17-ish?
Canon: Cielo hails from a barren world called the Junkyard, where
five emotionless Tribes go planning to kill each other, killing each other,
and…then hanging around looking cool. The one that kills/assimilates the
rest gets to enter 'Nirvana,' where its members get everything they could
ever wish for. But one day, with a flash of light, everyone gains the power
to turn into demons, who must devour each other to survive. At the
same time, the Tribes’ emotions, memories and general humanity are unlocked.
CHAOS. And that’s just the opening cutscene, folks!
Cielo is from the Embryon Tribe. He’s one of the first to gain
emotions--along with an outrageous Jamaican accent--and provides the
comic relief in an otherwise pissy/angsty/blank group. He's mostly cheerful,
upbeat and friendly; painfully honest, awkward and a tad sarcastic. (He'll
even dance a jammin' Latin rhythm to make you smile, mon!) Still, he has his
serious moments: he believes in shouldering one's own burdens, and would lay
down his life for his comrades.
--oh, and his demon form is Dyaus. Dyaus has pretty rainbow patterns and can
fly. It will also cut you. ♥
Sample Post:
'Ey, 'ey, 'ey, dis ain't funny! Not in de Junkyard, anymore, sure, I got dat
down fine. But what's de big idea dumping me out here all by myself, eh,
guys? Guys? Jeez! Fight de scary giant Angel, Cielo. Go t’rough
the gate, Cielo. Track us down in dis place t’rough de…what’re you guys
called? Trees? Ja, trees. Thanks. Where de trees keep wagglin’ dere
guitars at you, Cielo. THANKS, MON. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT-
Oh, hey! Company! Dat you, leader? Gale? Argilla?
Ooookay, maybe not, ‘cos even Gale ain’t dat green. Or skinny. Or--what's
up with you guys, anyway? All dese long faces and groans? You're worse den
de Embryon first thing in de morning--you'd think you were dead or
something, mon! Loosen up!
Eh, I didn't mean dat much, brudda. So de head goes dere and
your arm goes here and...uh. Don't think I can help you much with
de brains problem, mon. Everybody's gotta bear dere own karma, and your
karma ain't in my head, sorry. Sure you'll find some soon, though, eh? Don't
look so down--here, have some of my jammin' Latin rhythm! Feel de beat!
Cheer up!
--no, dis is a solo dance, brudda. Really! De hands, dey don't go
dere. Even if dey ain't attached to you no mo.' ESPECIALLY if dey ain't
attached to you no mo.' Quit dat. Quit! What de heck, don’t make me do
dis.
…
At least in de Junkyard all a guy had to worry about was getting
eaten. De people here are nuts! Taste like chicken, though.
Poll Vote!
Character: Hiruma Youichi
Series: Eyeshield 21
Age: 17
Canon: Hiruma Youichi is the Captain and quarterback of the Deimon
Devilbats, a football team from Deimon High School. He's known as the
'devil' and is aptly named. Carrying an entire arsenal of grenade launchers,
shotguns, rifles, machine guns, he even looks the part with his blonde hair,
pointy ears, sharp teeth and shiny piercings. He swears constantly and never
calls anyone by their names (read: Sena - fucking midget). Whenever Hiruma
wants something done, he would consult his little "blackmail notebook", and
proceed without any hesitation whatsoever into blackmailing people (even the
school principal) into getting what he wants. Aside from that, he also owns
a tiny but vicious little dog called Cerberos, which he usually uses as a
form of 'incentive' to get his team members to run faster. This allows him
to rule the entire school and his team with an iron fist.
With only a rare few who rival him in intelligence, he has been spotted as
the Devilbats's hidden ace for his brilliant strategy plays and
psychological games on the field. There is almost no information on his
private life; presumably, anyone who does would've probably been shot by
now.
Sample Post:
Ya-HA!
Forget the fucking 'romance of the fiance murder mystery' shit, I knew this
place was the best fucking football training ground ever since I saw that
pamphlet! Wide open spaces, horny gorillas that aren't afraid to take you
down, biting zombies that'd have any fucking loser run his best on a
40 yard dash! Not to mention this shiny new shotgun! Kekeke, knew I could
count on America to provide free firearms. Seeing how this camp is run
though, I might not have to waste any of my precious ammo on those fucking
Devilbat brats. Keep up the good work, fucking director!
Speaking of the team, where the hell are those fucking retards? I send them
on their own to this camp and still no sign of them. Keh, figures. Four more
months to the Christmas Bowl and they're still whining like a couple of
fucking babies. Once Cerberos tracks them down, I'm going to feed them to
the squirrels, then put them through the Camp Fuck You Die training regime
from hell.
1) 100 laps round the lake. Any slackers will be made to run in the
lake with the fucking tentacles, with the lap count going straight back to
zero.
2) 40-yard dash with raw meat strapped to their backs and a zombie attached
to the waist by a leash. Better be running unless they want their
heads bitten off. Can't forget Cerberos of course.
3) All linemen to practice defense against the gorillas. Any fucker who
fails, I'm taking his pants and leaving the gorillas to deal with the rest
of him.
4) Substitute ladder drill on the landmine area. Move too fucking slow and
I'll help with my machine gun.
5) Pass practice with an open bag of nuts. Drop one and I'll be aiming for a
different kind of nut. Drop the whole bag and that sorry idiot will join the
fucking linemen, naked.
6) Since we need training outside of the brainless wildlife, we'll be doing
practice sessions with other campers. We got moving targets a-fucking-plenty
here, kekekeke.
--what's this? Looks like Cerberos has found the scent of one fucking
midget.
THE HUNT IS ON. YA-HA~!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Marluxia
Series: Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories
Age: Appearance is in his late teens.
Canon: Marluxia's canon in three acts.
Act 1:
Marluxia: "Hey, Larxene. Let's join forces as two of the lowest-ranking members and overthrow the Organization so I can be the sole ruler."
Larxene: "Well, I have to do SOMETHING while my nails are drying."
Act 2:
Axel: "S'up, I'm totally on your side."
Vexen: "I'm not! Wait, don't... hurt me or nothing."
Marluxia: "Great! Vexen, go kill Sora. By which I mean, die! Axel, go kill that traitor."
Axel: "Okay! 8D"
Marluxia: "Great!"
Axel: "You're kind of stupid."
Act 3:
Axel: [fucks Marluxia right in the plans]
Marluxia: "Wait, what? Axel, you bitch! ...Namine! I know you betrayed us in order to save Sora, but I order you to erase Sora's memories!"
Namine: "...k, no."
Marluxia: "Damn! Well, I'll just--"
[IT'S NOT A KH GAME WITHOUT A GIANT FLYING SHIP BATTLE]
[Marluxia gets pwned and locked away in an empty void, stage right.]
[CURTAIN]
In short, Marluxia is one of the newest members of Organization XIII and the assigned owner of Castle Oblivion (...basically an Organization secret clubhouse) and of Namine (their pet witch). He is egotistical, vain, and an excellent manipulator except, well, not nearly as excellent at it as he thinks he is. He is cunning. He is sly and smirky. He is fruity as all hell. His element is Flowers. He also has a giant floral battleship with cherry blossom lasers on it.
Sample Post:
Those fools! Did Axel really believe I could be stopped merely through the power of the Keyblade? Truly, the dark realm into which I was locked was terrible, but my ambition burned hotter than the flames of his betrayal. Finally, I found light in the darkness and escaped into this realm!
The flower bed I have landed in is one that bespeaks the good taste of this world. Broom-rape? Hemlock? Foxglove? Narcissus? Yew? All flowers I am quite addicted to raising in my own gardens (Although admittedly, I wish I knew how to quit yew; it quite takes over other parts of the garden). I must confess I lingered here a while, but as an unfamiliar flower in this garden I feared the risk of being weeded and slipped off to find out what manner of place this might be.
And it is an unusual place indeed. The atmosphere is foul, and it lacks the beautiful harmonies of the White Rooms in Castle Oblivion, but the foliage is wonderfully aggressive. I could get used to this place, perhaps. The bees may be a problem; I am aware that I flow with sweet nectar, but I would still rather not allow them to sup from the delicate appurtenances of my body.
But I cannot allow myself to relax in this place. I am a man on a mission to lead the Organization out of the darkness of the Superior's expatiating speeches, into a new age of relaxation, reaching our goals in a less torturous manner. We can have casual Fridays under my rulership. Free soda for all the Nobodies. They would see the glory of my plan and follow me, surely!
Besides, I really could not stay here after that monster attempted indignities on me. I managed to avoid defloration, but I must confess, the occasion has left me positively wilted.
Poll Vote!