(no subject)
EARLY BIRD ANNOUNCEMENT: The next round of camper apps will be JULY STFU 28th at 6 PM EST, open for 12 hours. No apps til then, so take your time!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Aburame Shino
Series: Naruto
(following the anime timeline, through the filler episodes)
Character Age: 12
Canon: (First, I would like to
apologize to Naruto manga fans, but I'm most familiar
about anime canon.)
Aburame Shino is an enigma of sorts, as he always
seems to be in the wrong place at the wrong time,
limiting how much we actually see him. There also has
not been a lot of background information given on him.
But despite such hindrance to his character, Shino is
portrayed as a very reserved boy with the ability to
control special 'Destruction Bugs,' given to him at
birth as part of his clan's tradition. In return for
using the bugs for a wide variety of techniques, he
allows them to inhabit his body and feed off his
chakra.
Overall, Shino is a boy of few words. His habit of
always wearing sunglasses and a coat that frequently
covers half his face add to his mysterious demeanor.
The two people who understand him, at least to an
extent, would be his teammates Hyuuga Hinata and
Inuzuka Kiba. He is very confident and quick-witted
when the time comes, thinking a couple (or more) steps
ahead of his enemy. Although many of his skills
haven't been presented, it is clear that he is not
someone to be taken lightly.
Sample Post:
That is the fourth group of
insects I have approached, but they had no interest in
assisting me out of this camp. "You will die here,"
especially when repeated four times, is becoming
tedious. On the other hand, I should be relieved that
they have not threatened 'payment' for merely speaking
with me, like the third group had done. I had offered
my Chakra as compensation, but I only have two
kidneys, and I would prefer them both to remain
intact. Needless to say, I promptly made my escape.
...Now that I think of it, I never heard of any
species that feed exclusively on kidneys before.
Perhaps I should study them more closely. Not to
mention the second group that inhabits human hair.
From what I gathered, they appear to do so on a
rotating basis. I look forward to when they are
finally out of mine. My head is beginning to feel
like a makeshift beehive. Although I am used to
having bugs nesting within me, this particular group
do not seem to comprehend the meaning of 'cease
buzzing.'
In the meantime, I am attempting to avoid... 'the
undead' is the term, I believe. From what they are
hinting at... Yes. I apologize for depriving all of
you, but it is rather evident that my brain would not
benefit you more than it would me. As such, with the
sheer magnitude of bugs in my hair, you would have a
difficult time getting through all of them in the
first place. I realize you do not understand me. But
any further threat, then none of you will live any
longer... so to speak.
...And that is that. I must find the first group of
bugs to converse with again, to gain more information
about this place. At least they were the most
accommodating, despite being three times my height.
Poll Vote!
Character: Misha
Series: Pita-Ten
Character Age: Unknown, appears 14-15ish
Canon: Once upon a time there was a little angel named Misha. She
met this poor, depressed boy named Higuchi Kotaroh (okay, Kotarou. But
there are two of them, so he will be referred to as Kotaroh from here on
out), who had one half demon blood and the ability to see angels as a
result (real angels can't be seen by normal humans). Misha would visit him
on a nightly basis, and they would talk and such.
It's possible they were enamored with each other, but it just wasn't meant
to be: Sasha, Misha's older sister, caught her down on Earth one night.
She chewed her out for it, and forced her to agree not to come back down
anytime soon. Unfortunately, Kotaroh overheard this conversation, and,
thinking he couldn't live without Misha, decided to commit suicide in an
attempt to follow Misha to Heaven.
Misha was blamed for Kotaroh's death, and imprisoned in a cage of thorns
and forced to wear black garments for many years (while real angels wear
white). She continued life with a guilty conscience until Kotaroh got
himself reincarnated as his great-nephew, Higuchi Kotarou. The angels knew
of this and decided to give Misha one last chance to redeem herself by
making him happy. She was allowed down to the human world, becoming
tangible and visible to regular humans. To this day, she sincerely tries
to make her "Kotarou-kun" happy... through any method possible.
Sample Post:
Suuuuuuu?
Ooooooh... it's a summer camp, su! Summer camp, summer camp, tralalalala
nyaaaaaa~!
And there's zombies here, su! They're all icky and say BRAAAAAAAAAAINS,
su. Teeheehee. I have brains! Do they want my brains, su? I gots plenty of
'em to share! Heehee~!
And speakin' of monsters, there's a lake monster, su? Teeheehee. I think
it's cute, su. VEWY CUTE! Heehee! I went up to huggle it, to see if that
made it feel better, 'cause it was roarin' and growlin', and it flung me
into somebody.
Teeheehee... su.
But anyways, hiya, su! I'm Misha, su! Misha! I'm an angel, su! And I'm
here to help ya! I can do angel things, and I can also do human stuff,
like cook! Shia-san taught me, yanno, su! I make a killer oden, su!
Heehee!
I wonder why everybody's so unhappy 'bout bein' here. I think it's
greaty-weat, su! More people to help! And Sacchan will be SOOOOO pwoud of
me once she sees how great I'm doin' here! Even though I can't talk ta
her... but that's okies. I'm sure I'll see her soon enough, su!
I kinda miss Kotarou-kun... but I guess this place is good enough ta work
with, su. So many people that need to be happier, su! And I gots plenty o'
methods, su! Like that little voodoo dolly, heehee. I can pet it and
huggle it and love it and that person will feel all the wuv that I give
it, su! It's a great idea, heeheehee!
We even gots internet, su! Intery-inter-winternet! Suuuuu! I know 'bout
the internet! It's got lotsa pages that you can look at, and pwetty
pictures, and... um... internetty stuff! Teehee!
And about da shotgun, su... what do I need a shotgun for, su? Heehee, I'm
not gonna use it, su. But I know how to. All ya gotta do is pull the
twigger, like this--
...Oopsie. Sowwy, mister zombie-wombie. Teeheehee.
And 'sides, if I wanna get outta here, I can just flyyyyy up and--
...EEEEEYAAAAAHHHHH! Ouchieeeeeeee~!
... ... ...
...Maybe dat wasn't such a good idea, su. I got sent tumblin' backwards by
some kinda magic barrier thingy-wingy, su.
Nyaaa... but all in ally-wall, it was a good day, su. So why does everyone
say it's bad, huh, huh, huh? Everything's a-okay here, su!
Poll Vote!
Character: Jeff Andonuts
Series: EarthBound
Character Age: Not stated in canon, but apparently in his early teens
Canon: When a meteor crashed to earth in the sleepy town of Onett, it heralded the beginning of a bizarre alien invasion, lead by the creepy and mysterious overlord Giygas. Giygas's army is more than just aliens and robots, though; he's got everything from skate punks to possessed dogs to the undead on his side, and the only thing standing between him and total world domination is the determination of Ness, a plucky kid armed only with a baseball bat and uncanny psychic powers. EarthBound is the story of the adventures of Ness and his friends: harnessing the power of the earth to fight against the alien menace, testing their own spiritual strength, and firing off a whole lot of bottle rockets without adult supervision.
Jeff Andonuts enters the EarthBound story when he answers a psychic distress signal from Ness's companion Paula, breaking out of his boarding school under cover of night and rushing to the zombie-infested city of Threed to save Ness and Paula, his "friends he's never met." From then on, the formerly-sheltered child genius proves his resourcefulness time and again, repairing junk into functional equipment and becoming the group's firepower and explosives expert. He never quite stops being a nerd, but he's a nerd of uncommon strength and dedication.
Sample Post:
I've got to think about this logically. Just because I'm in a creepy swamp with no recognizable landmarks doesn't mean there's anything to worry about! I'll just sit down on this rock -- correction: I'll clean the goo off this rock, then sit down -- and think through this. Fact One: Ness and Paula are gone. Fact Two: Either Threed has really cultivated its wetlands since we left, or we got lost. Corollary to Fact Two: Given how long I was daydreaming, it's substantially more likely I got lost. Fact Three...
... Fact Three: zombies approaching! Where did I put my beam gun?! Oh, heck with it. Maybe they'll listen to reason. For once.
H-Hey, there, zombie leader! I'm afraid I'm a little lost; do you know where I could find a working phone? Or a high place to scream from would be all right in a pinch.
While I appreciate the thought, that's an iron, and I'm pretty sure its signal strength won't exactly be sufficient to call out of here, heh-heh -- hey, careful how brandish that thing! In your condition, you could break your arm right off--
Oh.
Uh... do you want to borrow my staple gun? Here you go. Don't worry, I won't watch. Just tell me when you're done.
That was a sound I could have gone my whole life without hearing. Deep breaths, Jeff, through your mouth.
Now, then, what does that iron have to do with anything? Ohhh. It's broken, isn't it? And the rest of this horde... you all have broken irons? I, er, it doesn't matter how this happened, or what this crusted-on goo is, exactly, just that we both have problems that need solving, right? You guys need your irons fixed, among other things, and I...
I need to sit down again. Deep breaths, Jeff... mouth, not nose...
All right, before this goes any further, let's get this settled. I'm pretty sure that I can get these all clean and in working order by morning. I'll try not to throw up in the process, but I'm not going to make any promises. In exchange, I want all the information you can give me about where exactly we are, and I don't want any trouble while I'm working! In fact, why don't you all just go do zombie things and give me some room to work? Mr. Zombie Leader, you can stay and supervise, if you want, just to make sure I don't run away. Great, great, thanks, that's it... Whew. There we go.
You know, this is probably going to take a while; do you want some Refreshing Herb while I get started? It's strictly medicinal, but you look like you could use all the help you could get. Go ahead, help yourself. I'll be right here.
... hello, God? Are you there? It's me, Jeff. I know I said I'd never ask for anything ever again after my last history test, but this is sort of an emergency. Uh, to be blunt: send rockets, guns, and duct tape. The crud has hit the fan.
Poll Vote!
Character: Panthera
Series: Chronicles of Wraeththu (specifically,
the third book, The Fulfilments of Fate and
Desire) (Wikipedia,
Storm
Constantine's Official Site)
Character Age: 10-13 in Wraeththu years, 17-20
or so in human years
Canon: The first glimpse of Panthera in the
Chronicles of Wraeththu is when Cal, reduced by a
variety of factors to prostitution, hears an agonized
scream in the darkness. He soon learns Panthera, a
seductive and deadly beauty who was sold into slavery
at his coming of age, was the source of the "single,
desparate wail." Cal helps Panthera escape the
whorehouse, and they travel together until Cal's
Destiny (yes, with a capital D) tears them apart. The
proud and angry son of a noble family, Panthera is an
artist, a wit, and capable of kicking a good-sized
Wraeththu's neck in without much visible effort. Three
years of rape have made Panthera cynical, bitter, and
uneasy about sexual contact, but as he travels with
(and falls for) Cal, his softer side begins to emerge.
Which, is, okay, still not so soft. But his paintings
are really quite lovely?
...what is this place? I could smell the stench
for miles. You certainly have some interesting
notions of decor, or is that your security system?
They're not particularly effective, if the latter.
I am not familiar with the customs here, but perhaps a
well-told tale will grant me passage through this
'barrier'? Sadly, I know none with the walking dead,
which might be more to your tastes. But perhaps
something with a bit of blood and intrigue....
Once there was a young and beautiful Har who was freed
from slavery and chose to accompany his benefactor on
a journey to find his destiny. Their travels were
fraught with frustration and peril, and made quite a
dent in the Har's pocketbook. Every question answered
seemed only to lead to larger, deeper mysteries, until
they came to a strange woman, dressed in unfamiliar
clothes.
"Come with me," she said. "I will show you a land
where you will gain true knowledge of all you seek."
"What kind of land?" asked the Har.
"A lovely place," she promised, smiling broadly. "And
a comfortable one. Your meals and rooms are provided,
and there is no alcohol to blur your focus."
The Har, who had watched his companion drink far too
much shrake on their journey, was intrigued. "I think
we should investigate," he suggested.
No sooner were the words out of his mouth than the Har
found himself in a strange land that appeared to be
largely populated by crocodiles, apes, and some kind
of colorful bird that appeared to be mocking
him. While he was used to mindspeech, he'd never been
spoken to in that manner by a bird, much less
one that chanted:
Can't take a drink
Can't tap an ass
The days of debauchery are now in the past
Can't take aruna
No more quests
It's time to have a little rest
Time for the truth
This toucan won't lie
You're stuck here in Camp Fuck U Die.
...that did not come out exactly as I had intended.
But, at any rate, it should be enough of a tale to
grant me passage, yes?
No?
It's true, what the bird said? No alcohol, and no sex?
I suppose I could stay here for a while, then. It's
actually not so bad, is it? Rustic. There's a certain
charm....
Poll Vote!
Character: Kongou Agon
Series: Eyeshield 21 (manga) (Info about the canon is at
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eyeshield_21)
Character Age: 17
Canon: Agon is the star (or more precisely, diva) player of the
Shinryuuji Naga football team. Basically he wants to be the best at
everything and push everyone around, and the combination of amazing
athletic prowess and genius-level intelligence puts him pretty close
to that goal.
Unfortunately for Agon, there are some things he's simply no good at.
These include: cooperating with others, keeping his temper, taking
good advice, and realizing his limitations (yes, they do exist). Agon
feels that only geniuses like him have a real right to, well,
anything, and that people who have to try to get what they want are
pathetic "trash"; needless to say this doesn't make him popular, but
then he doesn't much care.
Agon's most important relationship is with his older, much-less-
talented twin brother Unsui, whom he calls Unko-chan, and generally
disses outrageously. Nevertheless, if there's one person out there who
can control Agon at all or whom he feels any affection for, it's
Unsui. Agon is also deadly enemies with Hiruma; Hiruma's reasons for
hating Agon are pretty good, whereas Agon's reasons for hating Hiruma
are as yet unknown but probably... petty.
Sample Post:
Right now, as I'm looking out over the lovely vistas of this fucking
stinking swamp, there's only one burning question on my mind. And
unlike most of the trash round here, it's not "where am I?" or "how
the hell can I get out of here?!" More like "when did dad grow a
pair?!"
All right, so I beat up some senator's brat. I guess I should expect
to be ranted at, but did the old fart have to be that extreme? Talking
about sending me to juvie, or to the funny farm, like there was
something wrong with me. Me! I was this close to just giving
him the finger and walking out, except... I'm a genius, and even a
dumbass knows it's not smart to piss off the old folks too far when
you're still a minor. Not that I couldn't make it on my own - hey,
genius - but it's a matter of convenience. So I made with the
puppy eyes, and managed to talk dad down to sending me to summer camp.
Aside from the name, Camp Fuckudie was supposed to be a great place. I
mean, it's co-ed (hel-looo, foreign pussy!), it's got a big lake,
comfy cabins, the works. Oh, and dad kept on about how healthy outdoor
life was gonna make me a man, teach me respect and cooperation and
yadda yadda. Yeah right - they issue you your very own shotgun, that
doesn't make me think cooperation. Not that I mind a chance to show
the local trash what's what.
Got to say the reality isn't too impressive, or too much like the
pamphlet dad showed me. This place is the pits. The lake looks okay,
but it seems to have critters in it. Not the kind that cooperate with
you in a healthy, respectful way, either. And as for the hot foreign
girls, their virtue's guarded by camp counsellors with guns. No sex
policy, huh? More like no fun policy. Assholes.
To sum it up? I'd be bored stiff - but there's one light in the
darkness! I ran into this guy who was gibbering about some gang that's
run over the camp. Gorillas, he called them, which sounds like they're
big guys. Scary guys too, I'll bet, but not to Kongou Agon! Me and my
new shotgun are gonna go show these Gorillas who's their new boss...
Poll Vote!
Character: Kairi
Series: Kingdom Hearts
Character Age: 15
Canon: Kingdom Hearts, also known as the game that owns your soul, features three main characters: one girl and two boys. Since sexual tension is at it's best like that, we're going to focus on the lone girl main character. Kairi has known only Destiny Islands all her life... except for the part where she doesn't remember her entire life. She appeared mysteriously on the islands when she was very young, remembering nothing of her past or where she came from. Because of her Mysterious Past (TM), Kairi, Sora, and Riku were inspired to travel to other worlds, a decision that eventually leads up to their adventures in Kingdom Hearts: meeting many of the Disney and Square Enix characters, befriending Mickey Mouse (who is, in fact, a King), and saving all the worlds they encounter from total destruction. TWICE. Way to watch over your kingdom there, Mouse.
Kairi is intelligent, cheerful, and teasing, especially when it comes to outwitting her best friends. And making them race each other for no reason at all other than watching them compete for her and covertly checking out their asses. Despite this mischevious personality, Kairi has no trace of spite or wickedness in her heart. She is the first person that will be by a friend's side to listen to their troubles. She's also the first person that would help them hide a body. Optimistic, determined, confident and fiercely passionate, Kairi will stop at nothing to support her friends and those she loves. She'll even run into big, scary portals of darkness without hesitation (though it was, admittedly, safer than staying on a secluded beach with Axel). Whether it's standing and fighting, supporting and encouraging, or waiting behind and being the home her friends return to, Kairi will do anything to ensure her friends are happy and safe.
Sample Post:
Wow. I’ve never been in a swamp before! I didn’t know they were so, um... infested? I think that's the word for it. And I really like animals, but those strange toucans were something I could have, well. Done without. Their singing voices are really nice, but now I can't get that song out of my head. It's like...in my head. Literally. Ah ha ha, I'm sure it's just my imagination. I hope. What is a "Tiki Room" anyway?
Even though the birds here are kind of weird, it's nice to see new things. Oh yeah, I should probably thank King Mickey for letting me borrow the gummi ship since I, uh...kind of just ran inside it and took off. I know I should bring it back soon, but I don't think the King would appreciate it if I returned with a bunch of snakes on his ship. Is there anyone out there who can help me try and keep them off? They keep doing this weird swirly eye... thing. One of them keeps asking me to trust it. After that last adventure we had, I think I've had more than enough of evil men and snakes.
Anyway, as soon as I make sure the gummi ship is safe and snake-free, I really need to start looking around this world. I wonder if it'll be like the games we always played back on the islands when we were kids. Except at the end I won't get grounded for ruining my clothes, which was really Sora's fault anyway. Explore the new world, make friends with the locals, smite the villian, become a hero, rescue the princess, and save the world! ...well, those boys still kind of do that. Most of it, actually. Especially the part where they should be grounded.
I hope this world doesn't need saving like our old games, though--this princess is busy enough just trying to find the missing knights with shining keyblades. And while I do. Not. Want. To know. If that was a tentacle I saw in that lake over there, I know I'll feel much better once I find them safe and sound, and preferably tentacle-free. I can't wait to see their faces when they find out I came looking for them. But if they're surprised to see me following them, they don't have any right to be. Did they really think I was going to stay behind again?
Just you wait, Riku, Sora. I know you'll always come back, but this time I want to be right there with you. I don't want to be left behind to worry anymore. Our games of hide-and-seek are getting old and I've waited long enough.
...so please.
Wait for me.
Character: Kairi
Series: Kingdom Hearts (link)
Character Age: 15
Canon: Kairi first appears as the required female of the
trio, whom is inevitably going to be kidnaped since this is production is
half Disney. This dramatically changes as she suggests Sora and she leave
the island together sans Riku. The karmic result of this is that she spends
most of the first game comatose or sitting back while Sora plays hero. The
second time around Kairi has spent the year apart from the two maturing and
working on her girl power. When she's able to fully remember Sora, Kairi
decides to find the boys herself rather than waiting for the boys to return
home. Though having a whole year of education over the two, waiting on a
beach doesn't lead to anything fruitful until Axel is cued to play kidnapper
because this production is still somewhat Disney's.
In the year that has passed, Kairi has grown-up from the confident and
self-centered girl she was into a more graceful and determined woman. Kairi
has became more of the emotional pillar of the trio as well as not willing
to sit back and play the damsel in distress. Her understanding and wisdom is
able to balance out the awkwardness of two teenaged boys as well as serve as
a guide for the others when a problem can’t be solved by whacking it with an
over-sized key. She also has grown to be very diplomatic with a regal air
about her that was not at all present before, stemming presumably from her
growing into her princess role. That’s right, she's a princess. She also has
a keyblade. She enjoys wrecking any cohesive logic in this series
canon.
Sample Post:
Sora! Riku! Doggy! Anyone!
After wandering around in this forest for two days, it seems that man with
the make-up was a safer bet. I don't know where that portal took me and I
lost that dog I was following. I hope it's doing better than I am. I should
have gotten some coconuts and fish before I left on this adventure.
You know, I keep hearing voices but there's no one here. Hmm? What'd I step
on? A stick
with flowers on it? There's something
sitting on this flower too. Strange, where is all this stuff coming from?
Who said that! I can hear you, if you'd just tell me where you are I can
give these things back to you. Oh! The flowers can talk! I'm sorry, I
didn't mean to pull up some of your friends.
Well, you don't have to be so rude! Hey, I remember Sora telling me about
this world! The one where the flowers talk and give you things; where the
food could make you bigger or smaller. If I got bigger, it'd be easier to
find Sora and Riku or get help from someone! Okay, one thing before I go,
have you ever seen a kid with brown spiky hair that's lazy and grins a lot?
Or one with silver hair and really funny pants that tries to act really
cool?
You have! You'll take me to them? Thanks so much!
Huh? Yes, I am a princess. How'd you know? Um, no, I don't really sing all
that much. No, I don't wear bikinis made of shells. No, I don't have a
flipper! I think you have me confused for someone and I really don't think
they're in that nasty lake! Hey, put me down! I'm not going in there and
stop pulling at my dress, it's not that sturdy! Waitaminute-!!
...Why do I think that's not a singing choir of dolphins brushing against my
leg?
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Aburame Shino
Series: Naruto
(following the anime timeline, through the filler episodes)
Character Age: 12
Canon: (First, I would like to
apologize to Naruto manga fans, but I'm most familiar
about anime canon.)
Aburame Shino is an enigma of sorts, as he always
seems to be in the wrong place at the wrong time,
limiting how much we actually see him. There also has
not been a lot of background information given on him.
But despite such hindrance to his character, Shino is
portrayed as a very reserved boy with the ability to
control special 'Destruction Bugs,' given to him at
birth as part of his clan's tradition. In return for
using the bugs for a wide variety of techniques, he
allows them to inhabit his body and feed off his
chakra.
Overall, Shino is a boy of few words. His habit of
always wearing sunglasses and a coat that frequently
covers half his face add to his mysterious demeanor.
The two people who understand him, at least to an
extent, would be his teammates Hyuuga Hinata and
Inuzuka Kiba. He is very confident and quick-witted
when the time comes, thinking a couple (or more) steps
ahead of his enemy. Although many of his skills
haven't been presented, it is clear that he is not
someone to be taken lightly.
Sample Post:
That is the fourth group of
insects I have approached, but they had no interest in
assisting me out of this camp. "You will die here,"
especially when repeated four times, is becoming
tedious. On the other hand, I should be relieved that
they have not threatened 'payment' for merely speaking
with me, like the third group had done. I had offered
my Chakra as compensation, but I only have two
kidneys, and I would prefer them both to remain
intact. Needless to say, I promptly made my escape.
...Now that I think of it, I never heard of any
species that feed exclusively on kidneys before.
Perhaps I should study them more closely. Not to
mention the second group that inhabits human hair.
From what I gathered, they appear to do so on a
rotating basis. I look forward to when they are
finally out of mine. My head is beginning to feel
like a makeshift beehive. Although I am used to
having bugs nesting within me, this particular group
do not seem to comprehend the meaning of 'cease
buzzing.'
In the meantime, I am attempting to avoid... 'the
undead' is the term, I believe. From what they are
hinting at... Yes. I apologize for depriving all of
you, but it is rather evident that my brain would not
benefit you more than it would me. As such, with the
sheer magnitude of bugs in my hair, you would have a
difficult time getting through all of them in the
first place. I realize you do not understand me. But
any further threat, then none of you will live any
longer... so to speak.
...And that is that. I must find the first group of
bugs to converse with again, to gain more information
about this place. At least they were the most
accommodating, despite being three times my height.
Poll Vote!
Character: Misha
Series: Pita-Ten
Character Age: Unknown, appears 14-15ish
Canon: Once upon a time there was a little angel named Misha. She
met this poor, depressed boy named Higuchi Kotaroh (okay, Kotarou. But
there are two of them, so he will be referred to as Kotaroh from here on
out), who had one half demon blood and the ability to see angels as a
result (real angels can't be seen by normal humans). Misha would visit him
on a nightly basis, and they would talk and such.
It's possible they were enamored with each other, but it just wasn't meant
to be: Sasha, Misha's older sister, caught her down on Earth one night.
She chewed her out for it, and forced her to agree not to come back down
anytime soon. Unfortunately, Kotaroh overheard this conversation, and,
thinking he couldn't live without Misha, decided to commit suicide in an
attempt to follow Misha to Heaven.
Misha was blamed for Kotaroh's death, and imprisoned in a cage of thorns
and forced to wear black garments for many years (while real angels wear
white). She continued life with a guilty conscience until Kotaroh got
himself reincarnated as his great-nephew, Higuchi Kotarou. The angels knew
of this and decided to give Misha one last chance to redeem herself by
making him happy. She was allowed down to the human world, becoming
tangible and visible to regular humans. To this day, she sincerely tries
to make her "Kotarou-kun" happy... through any method possible.
Sample Post:
Suuuuuuu?
Ooooooh... it's a summer camp, su! Summer camp, summer camp, tralalalala
nyaaaaaa~!
And there's zombies here, su! They're all icky and say BRAAAAAAAAAAINS,
su. Teeheehee. I have brains! Do they want my brains, su? I gots plenty of
'em to share! Heehee~!
And speakin' of monsters, there's a lake monster, su? Teeheehee. I think
it's cute, su. VEWY CUTE! Heehee! I went up to huggle it, to see if that
made it feel better, 'cause it was roarin' and growlin', and it flung me
into somebody.
Teeheehee... su.
But anyways, hiya, su! I'm Misha, su! Misha! I'm an angel, su! And I'm
here to help ya! I can do angel things, and I can also do human stuff,
like cook! Shia-san taught me, yanno, su! I make a killer oden, su!
Heehee!
I wonder why everybody's so unhappy 'bout bein' here. I think it's
greaty-weat, su! More people to help! And Sacchan will be SOOOOO pwoud of
me once she sees how great I'm doin' here! Even though I can't talk ta
her... but that's okies. I'm sure I'll see her soon enough, su!
I kinda miss Kotarou-kun... but I guess this place is good enough ta work
with, su. So many people that need to be happier, su! And I gots plenty o'
methods, su! Like that little voodoo dolly, heehee. I can pet it and
huggle it and love it and that person will feel all the wuv that I give
it, su! It's a great idea, heeheehee!
We even gots internet, su! Intery-inter-winternet! Suuuuu! I know 'bout
the internet! It's got lotsa pages that you can look at, and pwetty
pictures, and... um... internetty stuff! Teehee!
And about da shotgun, su... what do I need a shotgun for, su? Heehee, I'm
not gonna use it, su. But I know how to. All ya gotta do is pull the
twigger, like this--
...Oopsie. Sowwy, mister zombie-wombie. Teeheehee.
And 'sides, if I wanna get outta here, I can just flyyyyy up and--
...EEEEEYAAAAAHHHHH! Ouchieeeeeeee~!
... ... ...
...Maybe dat wasn't such a good idea, su. I got sent tumblin' backwards by
some kinda magic barrier thingy-wingy, su.
Nyaaa... but all in ally-wall, it was a good day, su. So why does everyone
say it's bad, huh, huh, huh? Everything's a-okay here, su!
Poll Vote!
Character: Jeff Andonuts
Series: EarthBound
Character Age: Not stated in canon, but apparently in his early teens
Canon: When a meteor crashed to earth in the sleepy town of Onett, it heralded the beginning of a bizarre alien invasion, lead by the creepy and mysterious overlord Giygas. Giygas's army is more than just aliens and robots, though; he's got everything from skate punks to possessed dogs to the undead on his side, and the only thing standing between him and total world domination is the determination of Ness, a plucky kid armed only with a baseball bat and uncanny psychic powers. EarthBound is the story of the adventures of Ness and his friends: harnessing the power of the earth to fight against the alien menace, testing their own spiritual strength, and firing off a whole lot of bottle rockets without adult supervision.
Jeff Andonuts enters the EarthBound story when he answers a psychic distress signal from Ness's companion Paula, breaking out of his boarding school under cover of night and rushing to the zombie-infested city of Threed to save Ness and Paula, his "friends he's never met." From then on, the formerly-sheltered child genius proves his resourcefulness time and again, repairing junk into functional equipment and becoming the group's firepower and explosives expert. He never quite stops being a nerd, but he's a nerd of uncommon strength and dedication.
Sample Post:
I've got to think about this logically. Just because I'm in a creepy swamp with no recognizable landmarks doesn't mean there's anything to worry about! I'll just sit down on this rock -- correction: I'll clean the goo off this rock, then sit down -- and think through this. Fact One: Ness and Paula are gone. Fact Two: Either Threed has really cultivated its wetlands since we left, or we got lost. Corollary to Fact Two: Given how long I was daydreaming, it's substantially more likely I got lost. Fact Three...
... Fact Three: zombies approaching! Where did I put my beam gun?! Oh, heck with it. Maybe they'll listen to reason. For once.
H-Hey, there, zombie leader! I'm afraid I'm a little lost; do you know where I could find a working phone? Or a high place to scream from would be all right in a pinch.
While I appreciate the thought, that's an iron, and I'm pretty sure its signal strength won't exactly be sufficient to call out of here, heh-heh -- hey, careful how brandish that thing! In your condition, you could break your arm right off--
Oh.
Uh... do you want to borrow my staple gun? Here you go. Don't worry, I won't watch. Just tell me when you're done.
That was a sound I could have gone my whole life without hearing. Deep breaths, Jeff, through your mouth.
Now, then, what does that iron have to do with anything? Ohhh. It's broken, isn't it? And the rest of this horde... you all have broken irons? I, er, it doesn't matter how this happened, or what this crusted-on goo is, exactly, just that we both have problems that need solving, right? You guys need your irons fixed, among other things, and I...
I need to sit down again. Deep breaths, Jeff... mouth, not nose...
All right, before this goes any further, let's get this settled. I'm pretty sure that I can get these all clean and in working order by morning. I'll try not to throw up in the process, but I'm not going to make any promises. In exchange, I want all the information you can give me about where exactly we are, and I don't want any trouble while I'm working! In fact, why don't you all just go do zombie things and give me some room to work? Mr. Zombie Leader, you can stay and supervise, if you want, just to make sure I don't run away. Great, great, thanks, that's it... Whew. There we go.
You know, this is probably going to take a while; do you want some Refreshing Herb while I get started? It's strictly medicinal, but you look like you could use all the help you could get. Go ahead, help yourself. I'll be right here.
... hello, God? Are you there? It's me, Jeff. I know I said I'd never ask for anything ever again after my last history test, but this is sort of an emergency. Uh, to be blunt: send rockets, guns, and duct tape. The crud has hit the fan.
Poll Vote!
Character: Panthera
Series: Chronicles of Wraeththu (specifically,
the third book, The Fulfilments of Fate and
Desire) (Wikipedia,
Storm
Constantine's Official Site)
Character Age: 10-13 in Wraeththu years, 17-20
or so in human years
Canon: The first glimpse of Panthera in the
Chronicles of Wraeththu is when Cal, reduced by a
variety of factors to prostitution, hears an agonized
scream in the darkness. He soon learns Panthera, a
seductive and deadly beauty who was sold into slavery
at his coming of age, was the source of the "single,
desparate wail." Cal helps Panthera escape the
whorehouse, and they travel together until Cal's
Destiny (yes, with a capital D) tears them apart. The
proud and angry son of a noble family, Panthera is an
artist, a wit, and capable of kicking a good-sized
Wraeththu's neck in without much visible effort. Three
years of rape have made Panthera cynical, bitter, and
uneasy about sexual contact, but as he travels with
(and falls for) Cal, his softer side begins to emerge.
Which, is, okay, still not so soft. But his paintings
are really quite lovely?
...what is this place? I could smell the stench
for miles. You certainly have some interesting
notions of decor, or is that your security system?
They're not particularly effective, if the latter.
I am not familiar with the customs here, but perhaps a
well-told tale will grant me passage through this
'barrier'? Sadly, I know none with the walking dead,
which might be more to your tastes. But perhaps
something with a bit of blood and intrigue....
Once there was a young and beautiful Har who was freed
from slavery and chose to accompany his benefactor on
a journey to find his destiny. Their travels were
fraught with frustration and peril, and made quite a
dent in the Har's pocketbook. Every question answered
seemed only to lead to larger, deeper mysteries, until
they came to a strange woman, dressed in unfamiliar
clothes.
"Come with me," she said. "I will show you a land
where you will gain true knowledge of all you seek."
"What kind of land?" asked the Har.
"A lovely place," she promised, smiling broadly. "And
a comfortable one. Your meals and rooms are provided,
and there is no alcohol to blur your focus."
The Har, who had watched his companion drink far too
much shrake on their journey, was intrigued. "I think
we should investigate," he suggested.
No sooner were the words out of his mouth than the Har
found himself in a strange land that appeared to be
largely populated by crocodiles, apes, and some kind
of colorful bird that appeared to be mocking
him. While he was used to mindspeech, he'd never been
spoken to in that manner by a bird, much less
one that chanted:
Can't take a drink
Can't tap an ass
The days of debauchery are now in the past
Can't take aruna
No more quests
It's time to have a little rest
Time for the truth
This toucan won't lie
You're stuck here in Camp Fuck U Die.
...that did not come out exactly as I had intended.
But, at any rate, it should be enough of a tale to
grant me passage, yes?
No?
It's true, what the bird said? No alcohol, and no sex?
I suppose I could stay here for a while, then. It's
actually not so bad, is it? Rustic. There's a certain
charm....
Poll Vote!
Character: Kongou Agon
Series: Eyeshield 21 (manga) (Info about the canon is at
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eyeshield_21)
Character Age: 17
Canon: Agon is the star (or more precisely, diva) player of the
Shinryuuji Naga football team. Basically he wants to be the best at
everything and push everyone around, and the combination of amazing
athletic prowess and genius-level intelligence puts him pretty close
to that goal.
Unfortunately for Agon, there are some things he's simply no good at.
These include: cooperating with others, keeping his temper, taking
good advice, and realizing his limitations (yes, they do exist). Agon
feels that only geniuses like him have a real right to, well,
anything, and that people who have to try to get what they want are
pathetic "trash"; needless to say this doesn't make him popular, but
then he doesn't much care.
Agon's most important relationship is with his older, much-less-
talented twin brother Unsui, whom he calls Unko-chan, and generally
disses outrageously. Nevertheless, if there's one person out there who
can control Agon at all or whom he feels any affection for, it's
Unsui. Agon is also deadly enemies with Hiruma; Hiruma's reasons for
hating Agon are pretty good, whereas Agon's reasons for hating Hiruma
are as yet unknown but probably... petty.
Sample Post:
Right now, as I'm looking out over the lovely vistas of this fucking
stinking swamp, there's only one burning question on my mind. And
unlike most of the trash round here, it's not "where am I?" or "how
the hell can I get out of here?!" More like "when did dad grow a
pair?!"
All right, so I beat up some senator's brat. I guess I should expect
to be ranted at, but did the old fart have to be that extreme? Talking
about sending me to juvie, or to the funny farm, like there was
something wrong with me. Me! I was this close to just giving
him the finger and walking out, except... I'm a genius, and even a
dumbass knows it's not smart to piss off the old folks too far when
you're still a minor. Not that I couldn't make it on my own - hey,
genius - but it's a matter of convenience. So I made with the
puppy eyes, and managed to talk dad down to sending me to summer camp.
Aside from the name, Camp Fuckudie was supposed to be a great place. I
mean, it's co-ed (hel-looo, foreign pussy!), it's got a big lake,
comfy cabins, the works. Oh, and dad kept on about how healthy outdoor
life was gonna make me a man, teach me respect and cooperation and
yadda yadda. Yeah right - they issue you your very own shotgun, that
doesn't make me think cooperation. Not that I mind a chance to show
the local trash what's what.
Got to say the reality isn't too impressive, or too much like the
pamphlet dad showed me. This place is the pits. The lake looks okay,
but it seems to have critters in it. Not the kind that cooperate with
you in a healthy, respectful way, either. And as for the hot foreign
girls, their virtue's guarded by camp counsellors with guns. No sex
policy, huh? More like no fun policy. Assholes.
To sum it up? I'd be bored stiff - but there's one light in the
darkness! I ran into this guy who was gibbering about some gang that's
run over the camp. Gorillas, he called them, which sounds like they're
big guys. Scary guys too, I'll bet, but not to Kongou Agon! Me and my
new shotgun are gonna go show these Gorillas who's their new boss...
Poll Vote!
Character: Kairi
Series: Kingdom Hearts
Character Age: 15
Canon: Kingdom Hearts, also known as the game that owns your soul, features three main characters: one girl and two boys. Since sexual tension is at it's best like that, we're going to focus on the lone girl main character. Kairi has known only Destiny Islands all her life... except for the part where she doesn't remember her entire life. She appeared mysteriously on the islands when she was very young, remembering nothing of her past or where she came from. Because of her Mysterious Past (TM), Kairi, Sora, and Riku were inspired to travel to other worlds, a decision that eventually leads up to their adventures in Kingdom Hearts: meeting many of the Disney and Square Enix characters, befriending Mickey Mouse (who is, in fact, a King), and saving all the worlds they encounter from total destruction. TWICE. Way to watch over your kingdom there, Mouse.
Kairi is intelligent, cheerful, and teasing, especially when it comes to outwitting her best friends. And making them race each other for no reason at all other than watching them compete for her and covertly checking out their asses. Despite this mischevious personality, Kairi has no trace of spite or wickedness in her heart. She is the first person that will be by a friend's side to listen to their troubles. She's also the first person that would help them hide a body. Optimistic, determined, confident and fiercely passionate, Kairi will stop at nothing to support her friends and those she loves. She'll even run into big, scary portals of darkness without hesitation (though it was, admittedly, safer than staying on a secluded beach with Axel). Whether it's standing and fighting, supporting and encouraging, or waiting behind and being the home her friends return to, Kairi will do anything to ensure her friends are happy and safe.
Sample Post:
Wow. I’ve never been in a swamp before! I didn’t know they were so, um... infested? I think that's the word for it. And I really like animals, but those strange toucans were something I could have, well. Done without. Their singing voices are really nice, but now I can't get that song out of my head. It's like...in my head. Literally. Ah ha ha, I'm sure it's just my imagination. I hope. What is a "Tiki Room" anyway?
Even though the birds here are kind of weird, it's nice to see new things. Oh yeah, I should probably thank King Mickey for letting me borrow the gummi ship since I, uh...kind of just ran inside it and took off. I know I should bring it back soon, but I don't think the King would appreciate it if I returned with a bunch of snakes on his ship. Is there anyone out there who can help me try and keep them off? They keep doing this weird swirly eye... thing. One of them keeps asking me to trust it. After that last adventure we had, I think I've had more than enough of evil men and snakes.
Anyway, as soon as I make sure the gummi ship is safe and snake-free, I really need to start looking around this world. I wonder if it'll be like the games we always played back on the islands when we were kids. Except at the end I won't get grounded for ruining my clothes, which was really Sora's fault anyway. Explore the new world, make friends with the locals, smite the villian, become a hero, rescue the princess, and save the world! ...well, those boys still kind of do that. Most of it, actually. Especially the part where they should be grounded.
I hope this world doesn't need saving like our old games, though--this princess is busy enough just trying to find the missing knights with shining keyblades. And while I do. Not. Want. To know. If that was a tentacle I saw in that lake over there, I know I'll feel much better once I find them safe and sound, and preferably tentacle-free. I can't wait to see their faces when they find out I came looking for them. But if they're surprised to see me following them, they don't have any right to be. Did they really think I was going to stay behind again?
Just you wait, Riku, Sora. I know you'll always come back, but this time I want to be right there with you. I don't want to be left behind to worry anymore. Our games of hide-and-seek are getting old and I've waited long enough.
...so please.
Wait for me.
Character: Kairi
Series: Kingdom Hearts (link)
Character Age: 15
Canon: Kairi first appears as the required female of the
trio, whom is inevitably going to be kidnaped since this is production is
half Disney. This dramatically changes as she suggests Sora and she leave
the island together sans Riku. The karmic result of this is that she spends
most of the first game comatose or sitting back while Sora plays hero. The
second time around Kairi has spent the year apart from the two maturing and
working on her girl power. When she's able to fully remember Sora, Kairi
decides to find the boys herself rather than waiting for the boys to return
home. Though having a whole year of education over the two, waiting on a
beach doesn't lead to anything fruitful until Axel is cued to play kidnapper
because this production is still somewhat Disney's.
In the year that has passed, Kairi has grown-up from the confident and
self-centered girl she was into a more graceful and determined woman. Kairi
has became more of the emotional pillar of the trio as well as not willing
to sit back and play the damsel in distress. Her understanding and wisdom is
able to balance out the awkwardness of two teenaged boys as well as serve as
a guide for the others when a problem can’t be solved by whacking it with an
over-sized key. She also has grown to be very diplomatic with a regal air
about her that was not at all present before, stemming presumably from her
growing into her princess role. That’s right, she's a princess. She also has
a keyblade. She enjoys wrecking any cohesive logic in this series
canon.
Sample Post:
Sora! Riku! Doggy! Anyone!
After wandering around in this forest for two days, it seems that man with
the make-up was a safer bet. I don't know where that portal took me and I
lost that dog I was following. I hope it's doing better than I am. I should
have gotten some coconuts and fish before I left on this adventure.
You know, I keep hearing voices but there's no one here. Hmm? What'd I step
on? A stick
with flowers on it? There's something
sitting on this flower too. Strange, where is all this stuff coming from?
Who said that! I can hear you, if you'd just tell me where you are I can
give these things back to you. Oh! The flowers can talk! I'm sorry, I
didn't mean to pull up some of your friends.
Well, you don't have to be so rude! Hey, I remember Sora telling me about
this world! The one where the flowers talk and give you things; where the
food could make you bigger or smaller. If I got bigger, it'd be easier to
find Sora and Riku or get help from someone! Okay, one thing before I go,
have you ever seen a kid with brown spiky hair that's lazy and grins a lot?
Or one with silver hair and really funny pants that tries to act really
cool?
You have! You'll take me to them? Thanks so much!
Huh? Yes, I am a princess. How'd you know? Um, no, I don't really sing all
that much. No, I don't wear bikinis made of shells. No, I don't have a
flipper! I think you have me confused for someone and I really don't think
they're in that nasty lake! Hey, put me down! I'm not going in there and
stop pulling at my dress, it's not that sturdy! Waitaminute-!!
...Why do I think that's not a singing choir of dolphins brushing against my
leg?
Poll Vote!