(no subject)
New round, first batch! Apps will be open until 6 in the morning tomorrow, EST. That's still a good nine or ten hours as of now, guys. Go go gooooo. Anyway, here, have some apps.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. 70 voters on Kuzco wtf. The numbers aren't changing, so we're good here. Closed!
Character: Kuzco
Series: The Emperor's New Groove
Age: 17
Canon: The Emperor's New Groove is the charming story of a selfish young emperor who learns the error of his frivolous ways. Thanks to an assassination plot gone wrong, Kuzco gets turned into a llama by his mutinous ex-advisor and is forced on a journey through the wild to reclaim his empire. After his adventure with the loyal peasant, Pacha, at his side, he learns humility and compassion for others and is overall enlightened as to the kind of emperor, and person, he should be.
But this app isn't about the new and improved emperor. This app is about Emperor Kuzco pre-llama, whose priorities revolve around looking good, getting his groove on, and maybe doing a little emperor work on the side. To keep up appearances mostly. Being the ruler of his own country has gone to this guy's head and when combined with his own childish personality, you've got a genuine, self-declared "king of the world". He's a man used to the sweet life and has difficulties doing, thinking, or saying anything unrelated to him in some way. Kuzco also tends to zone out during conversations that aren't all about him, drifting off into internal monologues about that piece of food he can see stuck in their teeth.
Sample Post:
The name is Kuzco. Emperor Kuzco. You see that? Emperor. Means I'm important, special, the head honcho here and someone as important as me deserves a better welcoming committee than a bunch of animals. You, herd of llamas and one duck? You're not. What's with the duck though, this one of those equal opportunity gigs? You're just dumb animals that should really work harder if you want to impress someone like me. Got it? But you get points for trying. I like the sign too, nice touch, next time write my name a little bigger. Ooh, with sparkles and flashing lights too! You can leave out the "one of us" thing at the bottom though. And the picture of a llama with my face on it, that's, yeah. That's creepy.
Back to me. I got a brochure from Yzma almost makes me feel bad for planning to fire her when I get back, but eh, what can you do for this place and at a very convenient time too. I was just thinking of building myself a new summer home, you know, to get away from all the hubbub. It'd be a great birthday present to myself, don't you think? According to this pamphlet, when the sun hits the lake juuust right, the trees "shake with the knowledge that something wicked this way comes." Huh, never heard that one before. But if it's wicked and wicked means cool then I'm sold!
This place could use a little work though. Splash of paint, couple of tropical little huts, big picture of me right about here. And there and there and maybe a big flashy sign that says "All Hail Emperor Kuzco!". You know, the essentials. We'll start with a renaming. Camp Kuzco You Kuzco. Camp Kuzco You Die. Camp Fuck You Ku-
... I think we'll just drop it down to Camp Kuzco and call it a day. Man, am I beat. Someone bring me one of those drinks with the little umbrella in it and find my theme song guy. He got escorted away by some big men in furry purple robes a while ago. Friendly bunch, them.
Ah, you! Shabby looking man with the drinks, you're just in time! What've you got? Uh huh. Uh huh. Huh. Anything not "on the brains"? No? Ah, well, I can deal for a glass. You might wanna get someone to look at that skin problem, by the way. Pretty sure it's not supposed to be falling off like that. And some new clothes and maybe a new face to go with it because yours is the second ugliest I've ever seen. In the best way possible of course.
...
Hey, waiter, there's something in my dr-
... Oh that's just wrong.
Poll Vote!
Character: Lu Xun
Series: Dynasty Warriors
Age: 17
Canon: Koei describes Lu Xun as "Polite and Energetic."
History describes him as "Eight spans in height, with a beautiful
face, like the finest jade." Combine the two, and you get the
babyfaced, firestarting, fist-pumping precursor to the modern day
motivational speaker. Otherwise known as "Lu Xun, styled Boyan."
Aside from his boyish good looks, Lu Xun is best known for earning
the contempt of his fellow, more experienced officers with his
inaction when the angry Shu army invaded Wu territory. At least,
until he turned around and delivered a crushing defeat to the
attacking force so terrible, their Emperor was said to have died of
shame as a result.
Despite his superior talents and intellect (said to be on par with
the undisputed greatest mind of the time, Zhuge Liang), Lu Xun is a
humble man who often describes himself as a "simple scholar". And
while he is capable of dishing out the occasional diss, he would much
rather compliment his adversaries while he methodically thwarts their
plans and then sets their bases on fire.
Sample Post:
Attention, men! Attention! Just because we've been wandering this
jungle for weeks now doesn't mean we can simply abandon military
protocol. I've something to say to each and every one of you, so
fall in!
Now.
It is my understanding that these so-called "ambulatory corpses" have
been cause for panic as of late. Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen.
We are soldiers of Wu, and as such, we are trained to be fearless! A
dead man poses no threat. It is the spirit that poses a
threat. Spirit that we, as living, breathing, soldiers of Wu
possess! Observe! For today's demonstration, I have captured one
such ambulatory co-- fall in! I said fall in! Be you man or mouse?
You should be ashamed of yourselves!
This is how you handle such "un-dead," men. Watch as it attempts to
leap on me and feast on my insides. And watch as I easily render it
helpless.
No jump!
See, men? How simple is that? You say "no jump" and you give the
corpse a thump... here. Now, if you say "no jump" and you give the
corpse a thump, and he leaps anyway and then gnaws at your jugular,
then you did not thump him hard enough! And if you say "no
jump" and you give the corpse a thump, and he immediately flees
behind a tree and begins urinating on himself, then you thumped him
too hard!
Is this so difficult, men? Or do these lifeless, spiritless corpses
still bring fear to your hearts? You'd best get over it quickly,
men. I've no time to hold your hands and lead you through the jungle
as if I were some doting mother.
Unless, of course, you would like to be known as "General Lu's
daughters". I am certain the ambulatory corpses would make fine
husbands for you.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kid
Series: Eyeshield 21
Age: 16
Canon: In Eyeshield 21, American football is serious business. Even the most laidback-seeming and self-defeating players have discreetly got both the talent and the drive to make it to the top. That said, meet the best quarterback in Tokyo, Musyanokoji Shien -- genius, son of a three-time Olympic gold medalist, and heir to a wealthy family. But everyone -- with the exception of his family, his best friend Tetsuma, and Hiruma Youichi -- knows Shien simply as "Kid".
As a child, Kid was in line to become an Olympic champion just like his father in the art of the quickdraw. Though it is unknown whether or not he ever actually got a chance to compete, Kid is now a second-year student in high school and living on his own. Kid plays quarterback for a football team with a cowboy theme, the Seibu Wild Gunmen. Level-headed and humble almost to a fault, Kid is most often seen claiming that good luck and good things don't last, especially if one grows too dependent on them, and that overestimating people never fails to lead to a bad end. During an interview with a high school reporter, he claims his only strong point is not dreaming unrealistic dreams.
The first and only to notice that Kid is nowhere nearly as washed-up as he seems is Hiruma. Beneath his aloof exterior, Kid is primarily motivated by two things: his loyalty to his friend Tetsuma and a desire to win.
Sample Post:
So this fellow here's been following me for some time now. He's a little on the short side, and the cold got to him real bad, gray dripping out of every hole in his head. "Brains," he says, and looks at me like I've got any. I ask him if I look like the type who's got what he's looking for and he takes a second look and shuffles off.
He seems like a reasonable enough guy, right, so I tag along. If this guy's gonna be sniffing out brains then that's sorta similar to tracking people down myself, I guess. I'd head off on my own, but, well, I'm...not a bloodhound or any good at seeking out crowds. Pretending to be one or the other would probably end in disaster.
Nice lake he takes me to, little on the greenish side but that's just how it is in summer camp, I guess, and it's not like I can complain or that complaining would do anything, so here we are: this guy and this lake and me. Me, I'm just as lost as I was half an hour ago, and I get this feeling this guy's been lost for some longer time than that, and I gotta, that breeze on the lake's really starting to look --
...heh. Well, really.
Tentacles, huh.
...Marcy-san, was it? ...listen. I guess it's been a while since I've...been on a date or anything like that. Yeah, yeah, you don't have to look so disbelieving. The point is, while I don't really deserve compliments and don't really angle to get 'em, I'm used to them being less on the...physical side. Now if you're into the whole serious relationship business, then sure, being open with each other and all, that's a step in the right direction. But if I said an emotional connection was more important than a physical connection, now would you really agree with me? 'Cause if you can't, then we'd probably develop some messy problems in the future. Relationships built around the physical aspects of things are doomed to end badly from the start.
In short, ma'am. I'll only say this once, 'cause this camp issued me a shotgun and I'm sorry to say I know how to use it.
There's a reason cowboys wear jeans under their chaps.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kashiwagi Yuuma
Series: Pani Poni Dash!
Age: 16
Canon: Kashiwagi Yuuma is a unique snowflake, a fact that most people have some trouble grasping; because she has an identical twin named Yuuna, both girls tend to be called simply "Kashiwagi sisters" by the cast, even when only one of them is in the room. This isn't often the case, because the girls are extremely close and are rarely seen apart, but both find it annoying that they're not treated as individuals. As similar as they look, they are still easily distinguishable by the colors they wear, their hairstyles, and their very different personalities.
Both twins are giggly, girly, flighty, easily scandalized, and have dreams of pop stardom, but Yuuma is by far the bolder of the two. She's the one who talks the shy, soft-spoken Yuuna into whatever their latest scheme is, and she's the one who acts as a manager of sorts for her sister when it comes to signing her up for idol auditions (usually without Yuuna's consent). Yuuma's interests lie in the glamourous world of pop idols, music, fashion design, and runways, but she's also something of a mischief-maker at heart, and she is not above using her status as a twin to her advantage...or selling Yuuna out to get herself out of trouble.
Sample Post:
This--this place isn't really where you're holding the auditions, is it? No offense, but...of course I wasn't expecting Camp Fuck You Idol to live up to the high expectations of American Idol or Australian Idol or even Roman Idol--and I'm still not sure that last one was legit either because "Biggus Dickus" doesn't sound like a good name for a television personality to me, and everyone knows the toga will never come back into style--but I might've made a tiiiiiny error in judgment here!
See, I was sure that Yuuna-chan could easily win a tiny local competition like this, but now that I see the competition and crew, I think what we have here is a--slight difference in target audience. This looks a little less like Lilith Fair and a little more like Ozzfest, doesn't it? Or...with the crowd so filthy and mindless and vacant-looking...maybe a Blink 182 concert? My sister can't perform in front of shameless fans like these! They're screaming their heads...off...
America's a terrible place, isn't it? I think I want to go back to Japan. I-I've never been asked to sign anyone's ribcage before...
Oh! Wait! I've got it--eheh, I knew things couldn't be as bad as they looked! These people, with their decaying body parts and high-pitched moaning and the way they're eyeing those--young men over there...surely this is nothing but a Jackson family appreciation theme day! This explains everything! I'm sorry, we don't know "Thriller," but Yuuna-chan can sing Janet Jackson's "Nasty" if that's to your tastes? Fight, Yuuna-chan! We can still turn this into a victory!
You there, with the clipboard! I'm signing us up after all! Just take down our names--and no, my name is not "Sisters." It's Yuuma--Miss Kashiwagi, if you're nasty!
...T-that was just a joke! Like the song, get it? J-janet Jackson? It--wasn't an invitation to--no, get off of me! Please, I--
You've got the wrong girl, you know! Yuuna-chan said it!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kashiwagi Yuuna
Series: Pani Poni Dash!
Age: 16
Canon: Her name is "Kashiwagi Yuuna," not "Kashiwagi Sisters," okay? Though really, most people wouldn't blame you for calling her the latter--as one half of the identical Kashiwagi twins, Yuuna is physically almost indistinguishable from her twin sister Yuuma. Personality-wise, though, there's a pretty big gap. Though Yuuna shares her sister's interests in fashion, music, and celebrity, she's considerably more shy and soft-spoken. This often relegates her to a sort of sidekick role, going along with Yuuma's plans; it also sets her up as a victim of Yuuma's pranks, which most frequently involve writing random "positive" messages on Yuuna's body with a marker to embarrass her during auditions.
Despite this (mild!) abuse, Yuuma is--for obvious reasons--the person to whom Yuuna is closest. The two are pretty much never seen apart throughout the series, and tend to spend most of their camera time auditioning to be pop idols, trying to introduce their schoolmates to the world of high fashion, teasing their teacher Ms. Igarashi and their long-suffering classmate Shuu, and getting mad at people for referring to them as one person.
Sample Post:
...Um...Simon? Miss Abdul? Anyone...? This--this is where the American Idol auditions are being held, isn't it? I--my sister swore this was the place, and I had my doubts, really, especially when she told me the address. ("1 Bumblefuck Nowhere Way" doesn't sound like somewhere American Idol would go, if you ask me!) But I couldn't bring myself to believe that Yuuma-chan would lie about something like that...until I got here, anyway. Well...maybe she just made a mistake! Maybe she got the address mixed up with the location for the next Survivor.
--Ah, no, wait! I see someone with curly brown hair and gaudy jewelry...it's Miss Abdul! Miss Abdul, hello! Such tattered clothing--is the grunge look back? Yuuma-chan and I will have to do...some...research um
S-Someone anyone send help Miss Abdul--Miss Abdul's face is melting--
Wait--a sign emerging from the ground behind Miss Abdul? I feel like I should be startled, but it's a lot like home. Ah, it says..."Camp Fuck You Idol Auditions: Today Only."
. . . . . .
Well. It's. Not American Idol, that's for sure. But I suppose we all have to start somewhere...
All right, then...! Hello judges, and audience! My name is Kashiwagi Yuuna, and I'll be singing Sarah McLachlan's Building a Mys--wait, why are you all laughing, I didn't even know gorillas and people missing lower jaws and/or tongues could--my forehead? Oh no. It says..."Live Long and Prosper?"
Sometimes I think Yuuma-chan wants me to fail.
Poll Vote!
Character: Albert de Morcerf
Series: Gankutsuou
Age: 16
Canon: Gankutsuou is a futuristic and colorful adaptation of Alexander Dumas' The Count of Monte Cristo. Set in Paris, 5053, the story centers around Albert de Morcerf--a young Viscount whose life is turned upside down by an encounter with the Count of Monte Cristo on the moon city of Luna. Albert quickly becomes infatuated with the Count, despite the warnings of his longtime (and less naive) best friend Franz d'Epinay. As a result, gradually Albert's innocent and luxorious life begins to crumble--and only as his life is falling apart around him does he realize his role as a tool in the Count's complex and devastating plan. Read: enough angst to make a Lifetime movie envious.
Albert is almost painfully naive--no matter how many warnings he is given by those he trusts, he tends to follow only his own perceptions about a situation. This naivete, in conjunction with his stubbornness and temper, often gets Albert in serious trouble. However, despite his flaws, he has a pure heart and he always means well. He is passionate about his beliefs and loves his friends and family almost unconditionally. He is also easily embarrassed, somewhat emotional, and he once tried to impress someone by dressing up as a pirate.
I, for one, think that speaks volumes.
Sample Post:
Octobre 6, 5053 (I believe?), 12:53 PM
When I came to America in search of adventure and a break from the dismal happenings going on in Paris, this wasn’t really the type of vacation I had planned. After spending far too much time wandering a smelly and disgusting swamp (and in my best clothes, too!), I’ve arrived at an American camp entitled “Camp Fuck U Die,” and…well, I’ve already had some adventures. Just…not the quite the kind I was expecting.
On arrival I was greeted by a huge, apparently carnivorous plant. After a while puzzling about it, I decided it had to be sentient, based off the way its…um, head (?) followed me as I walked past, and then, I…uh, assumed it was friendly. What? It’s not like plants are usually dangerous! Even when they’re three or four metres tall and…um, have teeth. I also assumed it was planted in the ground, as plants generally are in Paris and most of the rest of the universe.
So, I learned a valuable lesson about trusting large, carnivorous plants (especially when they’re sentient). It cost me a pant leg, but at least I now know it can run faster than I can if I happen to encounter it or any of its relatives again. I did a drawing of it, too-just to warn the other campers of its presence.
Thankfully, everyone at camp seems friendly enough. Shortly before I arrived at my accommodations, I asked a man who was standing nearby for directions. I’m not convinced he was a local, based off of his…rather interesting…skin color and undesirable cologne (and the fact he didn’t answer any of my questions), but he did quite kindly offer me a gift. Although it appears to be caked in mud and I haven’t quite figured out what it is yet, I appreciated the gesture and thanked him profusely. How kind of him to offer gifts to people he’s never met before! In his generosity he reminded me, if only slightly, of the Count.
Accommodations are not quite up to my standards (in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an uglier set of buildings) and I may file a complaint if need be, but I suppose anything is better than sleeping in the swamp. I’m also beginning to think a change of apparel might be order? (If someone could please help me sew the pants back together, I’d really appreciate it!)
EDIT: I just opened that…uh, gift…the man in the swamp gave me. I’m not sure what the function of a half-eaten fish inside a condom is, but…
Well, I guess it’s the thought that counts?
current mood: a little confused
current music: something howling along to polka music in the swamp
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. 70 voters on Kuzco wtf. The numbers aren't changing, so we're good here. Closed!
Character: Kuzco
Series: The Emperor's New Groove
Age: 17
Canon: The Emperor's New Groove is the charming story of a selfish young emperor who learns the error of his frivolous ways. Thanks to an assassination plot gone wrong, Kuzco gets turned into a llama by his mutinous ex-advisor and is forced on a journey through the wild to reclaim his empire. After his adventure with the loyal peasant, Pacha, at his side, he learns humility and compassion for others and is overall enlightened as to the kind of emperor, and person, he should be.
But this app isn't about the new and improved emperor. This app is about Emperor Kuzco pre-llama, whose priorities revolve around looking good, getting his groove on, and maybe doing a little emperor work on the side. To keep up appearances mostly. Being the ruler of his own country has gone to this guy's head and when combined with his own childish personality, you've got a genuine, self-declared "king of the world". He's a man used to the sweet life and has difficulties doing, thinking, or saying anything unrelated to him in some way. Kuzco also tends to zone out during conversations that aren't all about him, drifting off into internal monologues about that piece of food he can see stuck in their teeth.
Sample Post:
The name is Kuzco. Emperor Kuzco. You see that? Emperor. Means I'm important, special, the head honcho here and someone as important as me deserves a better welcoming committee than a bunch of animals. You, herd of llamas and one duck? You're not. What's with the duck though, this one of those equal opportunity gigs? You're just dumb animals that should really work harder if you want to impress someone like me. Got it? But you get points for trying. I like the sign too, nice touch, next time write my name a little bigger. Ooh, with sparkles and flashing lights too! You can leave out the "one of us" thing at the bottom though. And the picture of a llama with my face on it, that's, yeah. That's creepy.
Back to me. I got a brochure from Yzma almost makes me feel bad for planning to fire her when I get back, but eh, what can you do for this place and at a very convenient time too. I was just thinking of building myself a new summer home, you know, to get away from all the hubbub. It'd be a great birthday present to myself, don't you think? According to this pamphlet, when the sun hits the lake juuust right, the trees "shake with the knowledge that something wicked this way comes." Huh, never heard that one before. But if it's wicked and wicked means cool then I'm sold!
This place could use a little work though. Splash of paint, couple of tropical little huts, big picture of me right about here. And there and there and maybe a big flashy sign that says "All Hail Emperor Kuzco!". You know, the essentials. We'll start with a renaming. Camp Kuzco You Kuzco. Camp Kuzco You Die. Camp Fuck You Ku-
... I think we'll just drop it down to Camp Kuzco and call it a day. Man, am I beat. Someone bring me one of those drinks with the little umbrella in it and find my theme song guy. He got escorted away by some big men in furry purple robes a while ago. Friendly bunch, them.
Ah, you! Shabby looking man with the drinks, you're just in time! What've you got? Uh huh. Uh huh. Huh. Anything not "on the brains"? No? Ah, well, I can deal for a glass. You might wanna get someone to look at that skin problem, by the way. Pretty sure it's not supposed to be falling off like that. And some new clothes and maybe a new face to go with it because yours is the second ugliest I've ever seen. In the best way possible of course.
...
Hey, waiter, there's something in my dr-
... Oh that's just wrong.
Poll Vote!
Character: Lu Xun
Series: Dynasty Warriors
Age: 17
Canon: Koei describes Lu Xun as "Polite and Energetic."
History describes him as "Eight spans in height, with a beautiful
face, like the finest jade." Combine the two, and you get the
babyfaced, firestarting, fist-pumping precursor to the modern day
motivational speaker. Otherwise known as "Lu Xun, styled Boyan."
Aside from his boyish good looks, Lu Xun is best known for earning
the contempt of his fellow, more experienced officers with his
inaction when the angry Shu army invaded Wu territory. At least,
until he turned around and delivered a crushing defeat to the
attacking force so terrible, their Emperor was said to have died of
shame as a result.
Despite his superior talents and intellect (said to be on par with
the undisputed greatest mind of the time, Zhuge Liang), Lu Xun is a
humble man who often describes himself as a "simple scholar". And
while he is capable of dishing out the occasional diss, he would much
rather compliment his adversaries while he methodically thwarts their
plans and then sets their bases on fire.
Sample Post:
Attention, men! Attention! Just because we've been wandering this
jungle for weeks now doesn't mean we can simply abandon military
protocol. I've something to say to each and every one of you, so
fall in!
Now.
It is my understanding that these so-called "ambulatory corpses" have
been cause for panic as of late. Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen.
We are soldiers of Wu, and as such, we are trained to be fearless! A
dead man poses no threat. It is the spirit that poses a
threat. Spirit that we, as living, breathing, soldiers of Wu
possess! Observe! For today's demonstration, I have captured one
such ambulatory co-- fall in! I said fall in! Be you man or mouse?
You should be ashamed of yourselves!
This is how you handle such "un-dead," men. Watch as it attempts to
leap on me and feast on my insides. And watch as I easily render it
helpless.
No jump!
See, men? How simple is that? You say "no jump" and you give the
corpse a thump... here. Now, if you say "no jump" and you give the
corpse a thump, and he leaps anyway and then gnaws at your jugular,
then you did not thump him hard enough! And if you say "no
jump" and you give the corpse a thump, and he immediately flees
behind a tree and begins urinating on himself, then you thumped him
too hard!
Is this so difficult, men? Or do these lifeless, spiritless corpses
still bring fear to your hearts? You'd best get over it quickly,
men. I've no time to hold your hands and lead you through the jungle
as if I were some doting mother.
Unless, of course, you would like to be known as "General Lu's
daughters". I am certain the ambulatory corpses would make fine
husbands for you.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kid
Series: Eyeshield 21
Age: 16
Canon: In Eyeshield 21, American football is serious business. Even the most laidback-seeming and self-defeating players have discreetly got both the talent and the drive to make it to the top. That said, meet the best quarterback in Tokyo, Musyanokoji Shien -- genius, son of a three-time Olympic gold medalist, and heir to a wealthy family. But everyone -- with the exception of his family, his best friend Tetsuma, and Hiruma Youichi -- knows Shien simply as "Kid".
As a child, Kid was in line to become an Olympic champion just like his father in the art of the quickdraw. Though it is unknown whether or not he ever actually got a chance to compete, Kid is now a second-year student in high school and living on his own. Kid plays quarterback for a football team with a cowboy theme, the Seibu Wild Gunmen. Level-headed and humble almost to a fault, Kid is most often seen claiming that good luck and good things don't last, especially if one grows too dependent on them, and that overestimating people never fails to lead to a bad end. During an interview with a high school reporter, he claims his only strong point is not dreaming unrealistic dreams.
The first and only to notice that Kid is nowhere nearly as washed-up as he seems is Hiruma. Beneath his aloof exterior, Kid is primarily motivated by two things: his loyalty to his friend Tetsuma and a desire to win.
Sample Post:
So this fellow here's been following me for some time now. He's a little on the short side, and the cold got to him real bad, gray dripping out of every hole in his head. "Brains," he says, and looks at me like I've got any. I ask him if I look like the type who's got what he's looking for and he takes a second look and shuffles off.
He seems like a reasonable enough guy, right, so I tag along. If this guy's gonna be sniffing out brains then that's sorta similar to tracking people down myself, I guess. I'd head off on my own, but, well, I'm...not a bloodhound or any good at seeking out crowds. Pretending to be one or the other would probably end in disaster.
Nice lake he takes me to, little on the greenish side but that's just how it is in summer camp, I guess, and it's not like I can complain or that complaining would do anything, so here we are: this guy and this lake and me. Me, I'm just as lost as I was half an hour ago, and I get this feeling this guy's been lost for some longer time than that, and I gotta, that breeze on the lake's really starting to look --
...heh. Well, really.
Tentacles, huh.
...Marcy-san, was it? ...listen. I guess it's been a while since I've...been on a date or anything like that. Yeah, yeah, you don't have to look so disbelieving. The point is, while I don't really deserve compliments and don't really angle to get 'em, I'm used to them being less on the...physical side. Now if you're into the whole serious relationship business, then sure, being open with each other and all, that's a step in the right direction. But if I said an emotional connection was more important than a physical connection, now would you really agree with me? 'Cause if you can't, then we'd probably develop some messy problems in the future. Relationships built around the physical aspects of things are doomed to end badly from the start.
In short, ma'am. I'll only say this once, 'cause this camp issued me a shotgun and I'm sorry to say I know how to use it.
There's a reason cowboys wear jeans under their chaps.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kashiwagi Yuuma
Series: Pani Poni Dash!
Age: 16
Canon: Kashiwagi Yuuma is a unique snowflake, a fact that most people have some trouble grasping; because she has an identical twin named Yuuna, both girls tend to be called simply "Kashiwagi sisters" by the cast, even when only one of them is in the room. This isn't often the case, because the girls are extremely close and are rarely seen apart, but both find it annoying that they're not treated as individuals. As similar as they look, they are still easily distinguishable by the colors they wear, their hairstyles, and their very different personalities.
Both twins are giggly, girly, flighty, easily scandalized, and have dreams of pop stardom, but Yuuma is by far the bolder of the two. She's the one who talks the shy, soft-spoken Yuuna into whatever their latest scheme is, and she's the one who acts as a manager of sorts for her sister when it comes to signing her up for idol auditions (usually without Yuuna's consent). Yuuma's interests lie in the glamourous world of pop idols, music, fashion design, and runways, but she's also something of a mischief-maker at heart, and she is not above using her status as a twin to her advantage...or selling Yuuna out to get herself out of trouble.
Sample Post:
This--this place isn't really where you're holding the auditions, is it? No offense, but...of course I wasn't expecting Camp Fuck You Idol to live up to the high expectations of American Idol or Australian Idol or even Roman Idol--and I'm still not sure that last one was legit either because "Biggus Dickus" doesn't sound like a good name for a television personality to me, and everyone knows the toga will never come back into style--but I might've made a tiiiiiny error in judgment here!
See, I was sure that Yuuna-chan could easily win a tiny local competition like this, but now that I see the competition and crew, I think what we have here is a--slight difference in target audience. This looks a little less like Lilith Fair and a little more like Ozzfest, doesn't it? Or...with the crowd so filthy and mindless and vacant-looking...maybe a Blink 182 concert? My sister can't perform in front of shameless fans like these! They're screaming their heads...off...
America's a terrible place, isn't it? I think I want to go back to Japan. I-I've never been asked to sign anyone's ribcage before...
Oh! Wait! I've got it--eheh, I knew things couldn't be as bad as they looked! These people, with their decaying body parts and high-pitched moaning and the way they're eyeing those--young men over there...surely this is nothing but a Jackson family appreciation theme day! This explains everything! I'm sorry, we don't know "Thriller," but Yuuna-chan can sing Janet Jackson's "Nasty" if that's to your tastes? Fight, Yuuna-chan! We can still turn this into a victory!
You there, with the clipboard! I'm signing us up after all! Just take down our names--and no, my name is not "Sisters." It's Yuuma--Miss Kashiwagi, if you're nasty!
...T-that was just a joke! Like the song, get it? J-janet Jackson? It--wasn't an invitation to--no, get off of me! Please, I--
You've got the wrong girl, you know! Yuuna-chan said it!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kashiwagi Yuuna
Series: Pani Poni Dash!
Age: 16
Canon: Her name is "Kashiwagi Yuuna," not "Kashiwagi Sisters," okay? Though really, most people wouldn't blame you for calling her the latter--as one half of the identical Kashiwagi twins, Yuuna is physically almost indistinguishable from her twin sister Yuuma. Personality-wise, though, there's a pretty big gap. Though Yuuna shares her sister's interests in fashion, music, and celebrity, she's considerably more shy and soft-spoken. This often relegates her to a sort of sidekick role, going along with Yuuma's plans; it also sets her up as a victim of Yuuma's pranks, which most frequently involve writing random "positive" messages on Yuuna's body with a marker to embarrass her during auditions.
Despite this (mild!) abuse, Yuuma is--for obvious reasons--the person to whom Yuuna is closest. The two are pretty much never seen apart throughout the series, and tend to spend most of their camera time auditioning to be pop idols, trying to introduce their schoolmates to the world of high fashion, teasing their teacher Ms. Igarashi and their long-suffering classmate Shuu, and getting mad at people for referring to them as one person.
Sample Post:
...Um...Simon? Miss Abdul? Anyone...? This--this is where the American Idol auditions are being held, isn't it? I--my sister swore this was the place, and I had my doubts, really, especially when she told me the address. ("1 Bumblefuck Nowhere Way" doesn't sound like somewhere American Idol would go, if you ask me!) But I couldn't bring myself to believe that Yuuma-chan would lie about something like that...until I got here, anyway. Well...maybe she just made a mistake! Maybe she got the address mixed up with the location for the next Survivor.
--Ah, no, wait! I see someone with curly brown hair and gaudy jewelry...it's Miss Abdul! Miss Abdul, hello! Such tattered clothing--is the grunge look back? Yuuma-chan and I will have to do...some...research um
S-Someone anyone send help Miss Abdul--Miss Abdul's face is melting--
Wait--a sign emerging from the ground behind Miss Abdul? I feel like I should be startled, but it's a lot like home. Ah, it says..."Camp Fuck You Idol Auditions: Today Only."
. . . . . .
Well. It's. Not American Idol, that's for sure. But I suppose we all have to start somewhere...
All right, then...! Hello judges, and audience! My name is Kashiwagi Yuuna, and I'll be singing Sarah McLachlan's Building a Mys--wait, why are you all laughing, I didn't even know gorillas and people missing lower jaws and/or tongues could--my forehead? Oh no. It says..."Live Long and Prosper?"
Sometimes I think Yuuma-chan wants me to fail.
Poll Vote!
Character: Albert de Morcerf
Series: Gankutsuou
Age: 16
Canon: Gankutsuou is a futuristic and colorful adaptation of Alexander Dumas' The Count of Monte Cristo. Set in Paris, 5053, the story centers around Albert de Morcerf--a young Viscount whose life is turned upside down by an encounter with the Count of Monte Cristo on the moon city of Luna. Albert quickly becomes infatuated with the Count, despite the warnings of his longtime (and less naive) best friend Franz d'Epinay. As a result, gradually Albert's innocent and luxorious life begins to crumble--and only as his life is falling apart around him does he realize his role as a tool in the Count's complex and devastating plan. Read: enough angst to make a Lifetime movie envious.
Albert is almost painfully naive--no matter how many warnings he is given by those he trusts, he tends to follow only his own perceptions about a situation. This naivete, in conjunction with his stubbornness and temper, often gets Albert in serious trouble. However, despite his flaws, he has a pure heart and he always means well. He is passionate about his beliefs and loves his friends and family almost unconditionally. He is also easily embarrassed, somewhat emotional, and he once tried to impress someone by dressing up as a pirate.
I, for one, think that speaks volumes.
Sample Post:
Octobre 6, 5053 (I believe?), 12:53 PM
When I came to America in search of adventure and a break from the dismal happenings going on in Paris, this wasn’t really the type of vacation I had planned. After spending far too much time wandering a smelly and disgusting swamp (and in my best clothes, too!), I’ve arrived at an American camp entitled “Camp Fuck U Die,” and…well, I’ve already had some adventures. Just…not the quite the kind I was expecting.
On arrival I was greeted by a huge, apparently carnivorous plant. After a while puzzling about it, I decided it had to be sentient, based off the way its…um, head (?) followed me as I walked past, and then, I…uh, assumed it was friendly. What? It’s not like plants are usually dangerous! Even when they’re three or four metres tall and…um, have teeth. I also assumed it was planted in the ground, as plants generally are in Paris and most of the rest of the universe.
So, I learned a valuable lesson about trusting large, carnivorous plants (especially when they’re sentient). It cost me a pant leg, but at least I now know it can run faster than I can if I happen to encounter it or any of its relatives again. I did a drawing of it, too-just to warn the other campers of its presence.
Thankfully, everyone at camp seems friendly enough. Shortly before I arrived at my accommodations, I asked a man who was standing nearby for directions. I’m not convinced he was a local, based off of his…rather interesting…skin color and undesirable cologne (and the fact he didn’t answer any of my questions), but he did quite kindly offer me a gift. Although it appears to be caked in mud and I haven’t quite figured out what it is yet, I appreciated the gesture and thanked him profusely. How kind of him to offer gifts to people he’s never met before! In his generosity he reminded me, if only slightly, of the Count.
Accommodations are not quite up to my standards (in fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an uglier set of buildings) and I may file a complaint if need be, but I suppose anything is better than sleeping in the swamp. I’m also beginning to think a change of apparel might be order? (If someone could please help me sew the pants back together, I’d really appreciate it!)
EDIT: I just opened that…uh, gift…the man in the swamp gave me. I’m not sure what the function of a half-eaten fish inside a condom is, but…
Well, I guess it’s the thought that counts?
current mood: a little confused
current music: something howling along to polka music in the swamp
Poll Vote!