(no subject)
NEXT ROUND HUP HUP, EIZRA IS NOT ALL ALONE THIS ROUND T^Tb
We also have an important note, so please read: lately in the main chatroom there has been some obvious application discussion. We'd like to ask everyone to please use their judgement and be more discreet about their own apping in the main chan.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Honda Tohru
Series: Fruits Basket [Manga]
Character Age: 16
Canon: Honda Tohru is the female lead of Fruits Basket. She met the Sohmas, a family cursed with the spirits of the Chinese Zodiac, when two family members took her in after discovering her living in a tent on their property. She quickly endeared herself to them despite her frantic worries that she'd only be troublesome, and has been staying with them and getting to know the rest of the family ever since.
Tohru is very selfless and quite eager to help out as much as she can, even working herself sick at times if not made to stop. She's very concerned with offending people or causing trouble for them and will become very nervously excited when she feels she has, apologizing profusely. Most importantly, she has a fierce dedication to her friends and will use all the strength she can muster to give them her support and ease their burdens -- in fact, she's even determined to lift the Sohma curse after learning so much about it.
Sample Post:
Ah, hello everyone! I'm so glad to be able to meet so many new people like this! Uo-chan thought it would be a good idea for me to have a summer camp experience, and I heard many of my friends were here, so I hope to have a good time with you all.
Oh yes! You should all be careful of the goats outside -- they're very dangerous, you know! I didn't know they would bite like that . . . --ah, but don't worry about me! It's only a few scratches, and I'm sure the swelling and purple spots will go away soon. I don't mind them at all, really! It's a very pretty shade of purple.
Though . . . um, does anyone happen to know where the nurse's office is? The spots are starting to look a little hairy. I feel like bananas would be a good snack right now for some reason. --Oh, you don't need to go to all the trouble of finding a doctor! I'm sure some ointment and bandages will fix everything right up! I can take care of it myself, so -- oh. You've found one already? Well, I. I thank you very much for your kindness. It's good of you to think of others like this.
Ah, doctor! I appreciate you taking the time to see me very much, though I'm sorry to trouble you with something so small. If there's anything I can do in return -- oh! I could do your laundry for you! It must get very dirty if you travel over camp all day to help people, and there do seem to be an awful lot of jelly stains on your jacket . . . But don't worry! I know a good tr--
Brains? What do brains have to d-- The stains are brains?! B-but I thought brains absolutely had to stay inside your head! A-a-and is this really a place to do brain surgery in? It seems very--
A demonstration? Ah, no, that's not . . . Oh my. Er, please forgive me for assuming, but I-I don't think brain surgery is meant to be performed with your teeth.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kudou Youji
Series: Weiss Kreuz
Character Age: 21
Canon: Kudou Youji, God’s gift to the Weiss Kreuz female population. As long as they’re over eighteen, that is. Resident playboy and shameless flirt, Youji will never miss a chance to hit on a pretty girl, even while on a mission. Which can leave his fellow members of the assassin team Weiss-Aya, Ken and Omi-quite frustrated at times.
Nevertheless, despite his carefree attitude and habit of sleeping in just for the hell of it, any duties Youji takes on as a Weiss member he takes very seriously, using the garrote wire hidden in his watch to get the job done. He can switch from lazy joker to being deadly serious in an instant. And as much as he is social, Youji also has moments where he acts distant and deep in thought. But seeing how this ex-PI still suffers from the death of his lover right in front of his eyes years ago, perhaps he can be forgiven.
Sample Post:
Geez. You have got to be kidding me. Talk about someone buying the cheap-ass brand, radioactive fertilizer. Place could sure use one Aya-class gardener, which is far from my department in case someone needs reminding. When they said my skills with women were needed on this mission, I thought there’d be actual women involved. Gorillas, toucans, and one particularly persistent zombie who just couldn’t keep her hand off me and here it comes again were not in the detail. It’s going to be a pain finding this Director if I can’t even find a human being. Come on. As unlikely as it looks, there has to be someone out here.
...hm? There!
Oy! Anyone mind helping a poor guy out? I know how silly this must sound, but I seem to have misplaced my bed. And seeing how it’s my day off and thus way too early to be waking up, I wouldn’t mind a little assistance.
...Especially if it’s from a beautiful lady such as yourself. Please? It would be a big help. I swear, this doesn’t happen that often. And once we find it, I’d be more than happy to have us spend the afternoon in it together. Not that I can see how some hasn't by now, you're by far the most stunning girl I've met since my arrival, but has anyone told you that you're as lovely as a rose?
...Heh. I didn’t mean that quite so literally, but I’m so happy to see how much my humble words please you. Now, hey! Before we get too affectionate here, if you don’t mind I’d just like to check the time and...
*!*
...my apologies, but it never would have worked between us anyway. I spend my time weeding out overambitious people like yourself.
Besides, I’m fine with just having one overly pushy woman in my life.
...
I still need to find the Director...Dammit.
Poll Vote!
Name: Kagura
Series: Azumanga Daioh
Character Age: 18
Canon: Kagura is athletic, with swimming being her best and favorite sport. She has no qualms about challenging her athletically gifted friend Sakaki to anything, though she generally ends up losing. She'll actually challenge about anyone, as long as she thinks it'd be tough. Truth be told though, Kagura HATES losing. She doesn't get mad at the person she lost to--more at herself. Kagura's super-emotional. She'll laugh non-stop if something's funny to her, she'll blow a vein if something makes her mad, and she'll cry like a three year old if something makes her sad. However, this does make it very easy to read her emotions. She's generally goofy and spontaneous, as well as optimistic.
Sample Post:
This has got to be the place. It's definitely the sports camp I signed up for. I mean, check out all the other people running around. They're running like their lives depend on it. Great spirit! But I guess I should read the sign, just to make sure… Damn it, it's in English! Ah well, it probably just has some boring greeting on it anyway. I guess I gotta find a directory with all the sporting areas on it. Ah, there's one! And it's in English too? What the hell, you'd think I was in America or something!
Maybe I can find someone to help me out instead. Oh, there's someone now. Hey, I was wonde- woah, what the heck is that smell?! Look, I don't mean to sound rude, but did you shower after you worked out? You haven't showered in years?! That's pretty disgusting, dude. I'll deal with it though. Hey, since I can't read the directory, I wanted to know if you would show me around a bit? I've been looking forward to coming here for weeks, so I wanna get in as many sports as I can! Why are you looking at me like that? No, I'm not stupid! So you will show me around? Awesome!
So where are we going first? Basketball court? Softball field? Lacrosse field? … You don't have any of those? Wow, what kind of sports camp is this, man? Look, there's a volleyball court! Who wants to play? Anyone at all?! So, it's quicksand? Big deal, it's probably only waist deep! You're giving me that look again. It kinda pisses me off, to be honest. Oh, I get it! You're a volleyball hater, aren't ya? I guess I would hate it too, if I was missing my right arm. That's okay though, we'll find you a sport you like.
Alright, so you're not a sports guy. That's no big deal, I have other ideas. We can play video games! What all do you guys have? Celebrity Deathmatch, Final Fight: Street Wise, Backyard Wrestling 2, and Terminator 3? No offense meant, but I heard those all kinda, well, suck pretty bad. The television's radioactive too? Ya know, I DO happen to like my hair, so I'll avoid that damn TV.
I'm sorry but I gotta get outta here. No sports, no GOOD video games, smelly ugly reanimated corpses, evil dictatorship… Yeah, you guys can keep all that. Damn it, I wish I had a map right now. Though I probably wouldn't be able to read the bastard since it'd be in ENGLISH! I guess I'll wander around until I get out of here. Okay, didn't I already tell you once to stop looking at me like that?! I AM NOT stupid!
Poll Vote!
Character: Flonne
Series: Disgaea: Hour of Darkness / Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories
Character Age: 1512 (the angel/demon equivalent of 15)
Canon: As an angel trainee, Flonne was sent to the Netherworld to assassinate its overlord. This plan met with a sudden snag when, upon arriving, she found out that he'd been dead for two years. Learning that the overlord's son Laharl didn't seem to care about his death, she decided to tag along with the shouta maou for awhile to learn whether demons are are capable of love. Throughout the course of the game, Flonne remains eternally optimistic and painfully upbeat, bombarding the group with enough love and friendship to nauseate a Care Bear. Eventually, a little of her attitude rubs off on them, and vice versa.
While seeking out the goodness of demons, Flonne winds up stumbling into the corruption of angels. She heads home to confront her boss, and learns that the entire assassination plot was simply to see whether it were possible to make peace between Celestia and the Netherworld. Despite having successfully accomplished this, she is told that she will be punished for harming other angels and is turned into a flower. In the good ending, nobody has to die and Flonne becomes a fallen angel. This is a cosmetic difference at best and has not changed her passion for superheroes, multiversal peace, and occasional justified violence.
Sample Post:
Hello, everyone! My name is Flonne, and I'm here as part of the Fallen Angel Outreach Program to teach love and justice to the natives of this lovely netherworld you have here! It was a big success back home, so if everyone can just please cooperate, we'll all become happier and better-centered people, and I won't have to discipline anybody! ♥
All right! Let's start out by helping the monsters to learn interspecies friendship! I know it's natural for zombies to be friends with zombies and wood orcs to be friends with wood orcs and tentacle monsters to be friends with... well, not anybody. So to make up for this, we can start first thing in the morning with a meet'n'greet breakfast! I know not everybody likes to get up early, but some of you already rose from the dead to be here, right? That's a little joke, tee hee~! And after breakfast, we can jump straight into the sensitivity seminar! I hope everyone can attend, because it's very important! I'm looking at you, Gorilla-san.
It might seem like a pretty big job for a little fallen angel trainee, but I can handle it! I'm on a high level! If you're still worried, though, humans are free to join in just like everybody else! And if you feel like you already have the basics down, you can help me pass out construction paper and glue! Today we're making Love Hats!
Say, why are there so many humans living in this netherworld, anyway? N-not that it's not totally your right to live wherever you want, however you want, without persecution!! And if you want to serve as vassals of Overlord Director, that's all right by me! Unless... she didn't put you under a curse, did she? You can tell me! I won't just stand by when good people are being cursed! Just lead me to her and I'll set you free! I promise!
And once you're free of her tyranny, you can help me save other people! You'll be my Super Friends of Love, Justice, and Kung Fu, spreading world peace all over the universe... FLONNE'S AMAZING INDENTURED COMPANIONS, THE DEADLY VIPER LOVE SQUAD!!
(Fireworks go here! Fireworks, fireworks, shaaaa~)
Poll Vote!
Character: Maya Fey
Series: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Character Age: 17
Canon: Phoenix Wright is perhaps best known as “That Gay Lawyer Game”, and not without good reason. However, there is so much more to this fabulous game, including but not limited to: whips in a court of law, blingin’ bad guys with a penchant for making up words, cross-examinations of parrots, and (in my humble opinion) the best part: Maya.
Maya fills the role of ‘perky sidekick’, and doubles as both the comic relief and the hint giver. She follows her family’s footsteps as a medium-in-training, but as she is still in training, is not exactly the most skilled. Very excitable and curious, she often speaks without thinking, which can get her into trouble., but while she is a little childish and naïve at times, she is extremely loyal and can help the player out of dire situations.
NOTE: Pink Princess is a children’s show Maya is near-obsessed with.
Sample Post:
HA! I knew this place would be just what I need, it’s like it was made for training! It’s perfect! I mean, just look at everything: the haunted atmosphere, the secluded location... it’s almost glowing with potential!
Aah, but there will be time for gloating later! I need to get organized, or I won’t get anything done. First, I need to find a waterfall! Sure, you might say “But Maya, this is a swamp in Louisiana! There’s no way you can find a waterfall!” That kind of talk isn’t going to get anyone anywhere! What kind of medium would I be if I tried to train without a proper? So maybe there isn’t a proper one around here, I can make do! ... I wonder how cold the showers can get...
Next, speak to the right people about the zombie disposal. I may just be in training, but last time I checked, shotguns are not a valid way to exorcise! --no, not ‘aim for the eyes’ EX-OR-CISE! Sheesh, and I thought I was bad with the basics...
And then the third and most important part: profit! ♥ After all, all work and no play makes Maya no better than the shambling masses! I don’t need much, just a little room with me, the Pink Princess, and a bowl of popcorn, and I am so set. Ooooooh, this week’s episode is gonna be so good! I can’t wait to see how she manages to defeat the Crazed Cravat -- um, what’s that? ... You... can’t get Pink Princess here?
...
I was wrong. This place is awful. A dump. No one could stand this place. Not even a real psycho. WHAT AM I GOING TO DOOO
Poll Vote!
Character: Naoe Nagi
Series: Weiß Kreuz
Character Age: 15
Canon: Weiß Kreuz is a television series about four men who are florists by day, bad-ass, trenchcoat-wearing assassins by night. Yes, it's every bit as kitschy as it sounds. Like any bad good action series, for every up there's a down, and in the case of Weiß, their down is the four-man bad guy assassin team, Schwarz.
Youngest of Schwarz, Naoe Nagi is a 15 year old computer hacker whiz who just so happens to also be telekinetic. At first glace, he seems cold, sarcastic, and detached. In fact, he's ever-so-slightly less sociopathic than his teammates... and also cold, sarcastic, and detached. This, of course, stems from one of two canon childhood backstories (depending on what Koyasu was smoking the day he wrote each - take your pick!), which both involve humanity turning its back on Nagi and the obligatory boatload of angst (also, Ken not teaching Nagi soccer ;_;).
Sample Post:
How is this place even still functioning? For such a large complex, the computer systems are surprisingly antiquated. Have any of you ever heard of a firewall? Spyware? Trojans? Do you open everything you are e-mailed?
The laptop I was given upon arrival could be considered primitive at best. Windows ME? Please. Why not an Atari or a Commodore 64 while we're at it? Then I could at least waste my time in a more efficient manner by playing 'Barbie's Dream Date'.
Quite tellingly, I've received roughly two pop-ups per minute since I opened this machine. I can't fathom anyone clicking on something labeled 'MJ's Neverland Fun House' or 'Click here to win free pudding, little boy!' At least it had the questionably good taste to connect me to Livejournal as opposed to, say, MySpace. I'd rather be surrounded by attention-seeking cutters as opposed to illiterate attention-seeking cutters, after all.
And no, contrary to what the 'Help' file is telling me, the correct method of debugging is not to 'delete the contents of your System32 folder'. As tempting as that may be. Please tell me none of you have tried this. There are very few cases in which I'd consider the phrase 'kill it with fire' to actually be viable in debugging a computer. It seems I have found one.
The only thing I've seen here that has impressed me has been the Moogles. They're quite well-designed. The way they actually mimic a living being is amazing. I am going to have to take one apart, just to see exactly how it was built.
Hmm. It seems they can even understand human speech. The one I am nearby right now began to glare when I mentioned dismantling him. Interesting.
Now I only need to figure out what a 'kupo' is and why he wants to put one in that particular part of my anatomy. Whoever programmed these things had a charming sense of humor.
Poll Vote!
Character: Billy Kaplan (Wiccan)
Series: Young Avengers
Character age: 16
Canon: Every kid wants to be a superhero at some point. If a time
traveling teenager gave you that chance, wouldn’t you jump on it? Well,
that’s how the Young Avengers got their start. From those beginnings they
grow and change to become a competent group of heroes, even when their
elders would rather they weren’t heroes at all.
Billy is one of the founding members, a witch to be specific, and originally
based his hero identity on Thor. But he got better. He’s quite the geeky
fanboy with occasional snarky moments and often makes wise cracks. Other
than that he’s got a heart of gold and a sense of responsibility to go with
the level head on his shoulders. He will sometimes worry over his teammates
and faces bouts of self-doubt but he does his best to be a good superhero.
He has occasional moments of teenage boy syndrome but is otherwise an
intelligent and caring young man. One who is capable of casting spells based
on chanting and his desire for something to happen. He can also fly. He’s
also in a very happy and stable relationship with his boyfriend, Hulkling,
and they care for each other very much.
Oh, and Speed? Happens to be his sorta!twin brother, except not quite. It’s.
. . complicated.
Sample post:
IwanttofindSpeed. IwanttofindSpeed.
Iwanttofind- ...
Ooookay. Locating spells are not supposed do that. Nice atmosphere
though. Very B-Horror movie-ish. But with less horror and tons more camp. Or
maybe that should be swamp. So cabins and zombies, huh? This a summer camp
from hell sorta deal? A little late, isn’t it? Not that I mind, of course.
As long as you’re here willingly. If you’re not I do happen to be a
friendly, not-so-neighborhood superhero. I’m Wiccan of the Young Avengers;
heard of us?
Ok, I gotta say it. I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto- Oh, come
on. That’s at least worth a smile, even from the zombie-minions over there.
Except for the one without a lower jaw; he’s exempt. So. . . I guess
“take me to your leader” won’t go over well either. Speaking of
leaders, wonder who’s in charge of them? Don’t remember a villain with a
zombie-shtick. As exciting as the idea of a brand new nemesis of our very
own would be, well, a zombie-shtick isn’t all that menacing or
supervillianish, you know?
I mean, they can’t even stand up to my-ok, so they can stand up to my
spells-they’re really easy to avoid. All I have to do is fly up and- Ow! Ok,
who hung a- a giant exposition box? Geez, ever heard of show not tell, guys?
I’m not even gonna ask- Whoa, I’m talking in speech bubbles. That’s new.
Feels like I’ve stepped right into a comic book. I’d better not go 2-D; I’m
very much three-dimensional. It would really flatten me out. And nobody
likes flat characters.
So you’ve got speech bubbles, and sound effects too. Squelch is oddly
appropriate for limbs tearing off. Thought bubbles? Don’t think
anything embarrassing. Don’t think anything embarrassing. Oy.
Check. Those mutant gorillas even have animated stick figures in their-oh
geez- that’s porn. Really, if you’re going for a true comic book atmosphere
you can’t have porn! Ok, so the comic book code doesn’t really apply
anymore but porn is still off limits! And just because I’m wearing tights
doesn’t give you the right to molest me, even in thought bubbles.
Only my boyfriend gets to-urk. Embarrassing thought.
Character: Billy Kaplan aka "Wiccan"
Series: Young Avengers
Character Age: 16
Canon: A "nubile" member of the Young Avengers, Billy is Tommy Shepherd's long-lost soul twin, which sometimes results in humorous identity mix-ups despite obvious differences in character design. As a person, Billy is basically a geek; a blatant Avengers fan who unknowingly fanboys his own spirit mother. He spends most of his time interjecting dry, witty comments about the things going on around him--even dabbling in a little meta humor--and generally acting like a cute little puppy with his alien shape-shifting boyfriend, Teddy. He's also a touch too gullible for his own good.
As a superhero, Wiccan is a hapless witch/warlock (he can’t seem to decide which term he prefers) who is learning to control his powers using techniques garnered from Teddy's mother's self-help books. Recently, he's also developed an unfortunate habit of getting repeatedly captured.
Sample Post: I think you guys might have a zombie problem. Maybe. I mean, I was trying to find To--er, Speed--with a locator spell, and they swarmed me like superheroes on a major crossover event. So I tried zapping them away with a spell--you know, "I want the zombies to go away," that kind of thing. And that's when they gave me the brochure and pointed out that magic attracts the zombies. So letting me get rid of them with magic would be a blatant retcon and wouldn't be allowed. Luckily, we were able to strike a deal. I, uh . . . let them dress me up in the camp track suit and give me a swirly, and they'll leave me alone. Man, my mom lectured me about the psychological damage that harassment from zombies can do to a teenager. "It's a real problem. You'll develop corporophobia--that's a fear of going to the bathroom, you should look it up--and studies show that because of the zombies, it'll be especially debilitating at funerals. You won't even be able to attend your own parent's funerals." Thanks, Mom.
I'll admit that the whole encounter with the zombies was kinda disappointing. Definitely not what most people would expect from a superhero. After all, who'd entrust their safety to a boy who just had a bunch of walking corpses give him a swirly? But I'm one of the Young Avengers, so be assured: I can still help you out with your standard caped superhero stuff. Like saving kittens from trees, that one's easy. Stopping people with guns . . . is doable? We’re still ironing out a few little details. So if you need me to help you out with anything, I'm Wiccan--and I don't mean the religion, it's just my codename. It does mean I'm a witch, but please keep in mind that I'm not of the melting variety of witches. It's okay for me to get wet, I'd just rather not to. It'll make my track suit cling.
Oh, and as long as we're on the subject of the Young Avengers, there should be another one of the team around here, a guy who goes by "Speed." If you see him, let him know that I'm looking for him, and that Patriot said he's still not allowed to vaporize anyone. . . . I think that’s everything.
Oops, hang on. There is one last thing. Heh, I almost forgot. If I can have your attention again for just a moment, there's . . . oh. I guess you're all busy. Uh, that's okay, it can probably wait.
. . .
I want my tights back.
Poll Vote!
We also have an important note, so please read: lately in the main chatroom there has been some obvious application discussion. We'd like to ask everyone to please use their judgement and be more discreet about their own apping in the main chan.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Honda Tohru
Series: Fruits Basket [Manga]
Character Age: 16
Canon: Honda Tohru is the female lead of Fruits Basket. She met the Sohmas, a family cursed with the spirits of the Chinese Zodiac, when two family members took her in after discovering her living in a tent on their property. She quickly endeared herself to them despite her frantic worries that she'd only be troublesome, and has been staying with them and getting to know the rest of the family ever since.
Tohru is very selfless and quite eager to help out as much as she can, even working herself sick at times if not made to stop. She's very concerned with offending people or causing trouble for them and will become very nervously excited when she feels she has, apologizing profusely. Most importantly, she has a fierce dedication to her friends and will use all the strength she can muster to give them her support and ease their burdens -- in fact, she's even determined to lift the Sohma curse after learning so much about it.
Sample Post:
Ah, hello everyone! I'm so glad to be able to meet so many new people like this! Uo-chan thought it would be a good idea for me to have a summer camp experience, and I heard many of my friends were here, so I hope to have a good time with you all.
Oh yes! You should all be careful of the goats outside -- they're very dangerous, you know! I didn't know they would bite like that . . . --ah, but don't worry about me! It's only a few scratches, and I'm sure the swelling and purple spots will go away soon. I don't mind them at all, really! It's a very pretty shade of purple.
Though . . . um, does anyone happen to know where the nurse's office is? The spots are starting to look a little hairy. I feel like bananas would be a good snack right now for some reason. --Oh, you don't need to go to all the trouble of finding a doctor! I'm sure some ointment and bandages will fix everything right up! I can take care of it myself, so -- oh. You've found one already? Well, I. I thank you very much for your kindness. It's good of you to think of others like this.
Ah, doctor! I appreciate you taking the time to see me very much, though I'm sorry to trouble you with something so small. If there's anything I can do in return -- oh! I could do your laundry for you! It must get very dirty if you travel over camp all day to help people, and there do seem to be an awful lot of jelly stains on your jacket . . . But don't worry! I know a good tr--
Brains? What do brains have to d-- The stains are brains?! B-but I thought brains absolutely had to stay inside your head! A-a-and is this really a place to do brain surgery in? It seems very--
A demonstration? Ah, no, that's not . . . Oh my. Er, please forgive me for assuming, but I-I don't think brain surgery is meant to be performed with your teeth.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kudou Youji
Series: Weiss Kreuz
Character Age: 21
Canon: Kudou Youji, God’s gift to the Weiss Kreuz female population. As long as they’re over eighteen, that is. Resident playboy and shameless flirt, Youji will never miss a chance to hit on a pretty girl, even while on a mission. Which can leave his fellow members of the assassin team Weiss-Aya, Ken and Omi-quite frustrated at times.
Nevertheless, despite his carefree attitude and habit of sleeping in just for the hell of it, any duties Youji takes on as a Weiss member he takes very seriously, using the garrote wire hidden in his watch to get the job done. He can switch from lazy joker to being deadly serious in an instant. And as much as he is social, Youji also has moments where he acts distant and deep in thought. But seeing how this ex-PI still suffers from the death of his lover right in front of his eyes years ago, perhaps he can be forgiven.
Sample Post:
Geez. You have got to be kidding me. Talk about someone buying the cheap-ass brand, radioactive fertilizer. Place could sure use one Aya-class gardener, which is far from my department in case someone needs reminding. When they said my skills with women were needed on this mission, I thought there’d be actual women involved. Gorillas, toucans, and one particularly persistent zombie who just couldn’t keep her hand off me and here it comes again were not in the detail. It’s going to be a pain finding this Director if I can’t even find a human being. Come on. As unlikely as it looks, there has to be someone out here.
...hm? There!
Oy! Anyone mind helping a poor guy out? I know how silly this must sound, but I seem to have misplaced my bed. And seeing how it’s my day off and thus way too early to be waking up, I wouldn’t mind a little assistance.
...Especially if it’s from a beautiful lady such as yourself. Please? It would be a big help. I swear, this doesn’t happen that often. And once we find it, I’d be more than happy to have us spend the afternoon in it together. Not that I can see how some hasn't by now, you're by far the most stunning girl I've met since my arrival, but has anyone told you that you're as lovely as a rose?
...Heh. I didn’t mean that quite so literally, but I’m so happy to see how much my humble words please you. Now, hey! Before we get too affectionate here, if you don’t mind I’d just like to check the time and...
*!*
...my apologies, but it never would have worked between us anyway. I spend my time weeding out overambitious people like yourself.
Besides, I’m fine with just having one overly pushy woman in my life.
...
I still need to find the Director...Dammit.
Poll Vote!
Name: Kagura
Series: Azumanga Daioh
Character Age: 18
Canon: Kagura is athletic, with swimming being her best and favorite sport. She has no qualms about challenging her athletically gifted friend Sakaki to anything, though she generally ends up losing. She'll actually challenge about anyone, as long as she thinks it'd be tough. Truth be told though, Kagura HATES losing. She doesn't get mad at the person she lost to--more at herself. Kagura's super-emotional. She'll laugh non-stop if something's funny to her, she'll blow a vein if something makes her mad, and she'll cry like a three year old if something makes her sad. However, this does make it very easy to read her emotions. She's generally goofy and spontaneous, as well as optimistic.
Sample Post:
This has got to be the place. It's definitely the sports camp I signed up for. I mean, check out all the other people running around. They're running like their lives depend on it. Great spirit! But I guess I should read the sign, just to make sure… Damn it, it's in English! Ah well, it probably just has some boring greeting on it anyway. I guess I gotta find a directory with all the sporting areas on it. Ah, there's one! And it's in English too? What the hell, you'd think I was in America or something!
Maybe I can find someone to help me out instead. Oh, there's someone now. Hey, I was wonde- woah, what the heck is that smell?! Look, I don't mean to sound rude, but did you shower after you worked out? You haven't showered in years?! That's pretty disgusting, dude. I'll deal with it though. Hey, since I can't read the directory, I wanted to know if you would show me around a bit? I've been looking forward to coming here for weeks, so I wanna get in as many sports as I can! Why are you looking at me like that? No, I'm not stupid! So you will show me around? Awesome!
So where are we going first? Basketball court? Softball field? Lacrosse field? … You don't have any of those? Wow, what kind of sports camp is this, man? Look, there's a volleyball court! Who wants to play? Anyone at all?! So, it's quicksand? Big deal, it's probably only waist deep! You're giving me that look again. It kinda pisses me off, to be honest. Oh, I get it! You're a volleyball hater, aren't ya? I guess I would hate it too, if I was missing my right arm. That's okay though, we'll find you a sport you like.
Alright, so you're not a sports guy. That's no big deal, I have other ideas. We can play video games! What all do you guys have? Celebrity Deathmatch, Final Fight: Street Wise, Backyard Wrestling 2, and Terminator 3? No offense meant, but I heard those all kinda, well, suck pretty bad. The television's radioactive too? Ya know, I DO happen to like my hair, so I'll avoid that damn TV.
I'm sorry but I gotta get outta here. No sports, no GOOD video games, smelly ugly reanimated corpses, evil dictatorship… Yeah, you guys can keep all that. Damn it, I wish I had a map right now. Though I probably wouldn't be able to read the bastard since it'd be in ENGLISH! I guess I'll wander around until I get out of here. Okay, didn't I already tell you once to stop looking at me like that?! I AM NOT stupid!
Poll Vote!
Character: Flonne
Series: Disgaea: Hour of Darkness / Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories
Character Age: 1512 (the angel/demon equivalent of 15)
Canon: As an angel trainee, Flonne was sent to the Netherworld to assassinate its overlord. This plan met with a sudden snag when, upon arriving, she found out that he'd been dead for two years. Learning that the overlord's son Laharl didn't seem to care about his death, she decided to tag along with the shouta maou for awhile to learn whether demons are are capable of love. Throughout the course of the game, Flonne remains eternally optimistic and painfully upbeat, bombarding the group with enough love and friendship to nauseate a Care Bear. Eventually, a little of her attitude rubs off on them, and vice versa.
While seeking out the goodness of demons, Flonne winds up stumbling into the corruption of angels. She heads home to confront her boss, and learns that the entire assassination plot was simply to see whether it were possible to make peace between Celestia and the Netherworld. Despite having successfully accomplished this, she is told that she will be punished for harming other angels and is turned into a flower. In the good ending, nobody has to die and Flonne becomes a fallen angel. This is a cosmetic difference at best and has not changed her passion for superheroes, multiversal peace, and occasional justified violence.
Sample Post:
Hello, everyone! My name is Flonne, and I'm here as part of the Fallen Angel Outreach Program to teach love and justice to the natives of this lovely netherworld you have here! It was a big success back home, so if everyone can just please cooperate, we'll all become happier and better-centered people, and I won't have to discipline anybody! ♥
All right! Let's start out by helping the monsters to learn interspecies friendship! I know it's natural for zombies to be friends with zombies and wood orcs to be friends with wood orcs and tentacle monsters to be friends with... well, not anybody. So to make up for this, we can start first thing in the morning with a meet'n'greet breakfast! I know not everybody likes to get up early, but some of you already rose from the dead to be here, right? That's a little joke, tee hee~! And after breakfast, we can jump straight into the sensitivity seminar! I hope everyone can attend, because it's very important! I'm looking at you, Gorilla-san.
It might seem like a pretty big job for a little fallen angel trainee, but I can handle it! I'm on a high level! If you're still worried, though, humans are free to join in just like everybody else! And if you feel like you already have the basics down, you can help me pass out construction paper and glue! Today we're making Love Hats!
Say, why are there so many humans living in this netherworld, anyway? N-not that it's not totally your right to live wherever you want, however you want, without persecution!! And if you want to serve as vassals of Overlord Director, that's all right by me! Unless... she didn't put you under a curse, did she? You can tell me! I won't just stand by when good people are being cursed! Just lead me to her and I'll set you free! I promise!
And once you're free of her tyranny, you can help me save other people! You'll be my Super Friends of Love, Justice, and Kung Fu, spreading world peace all over the universe... FLONNE'S AMAZING INDENTURED COMPANIONS, THE DEADLY VIPER LOVE SQUAD!!
(Fireworks go here! Fireworks, fireworks, shaaaa~)
Poll Vote!
Character: Maya Fey
Series: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Character Age: 17
Canon: Phoenix Wright is perhaps best known as “That Gay Lawyer Game”, and not without good reason. However, there is so much more to this fabulous game, including but not limited to: whips in a court of law, blingin’ bad guys with a penchant for making up words, cross-examinations of parrots, and (in my humble opinion) the best part: Maya.
Maya fills the role of ‘perky sidekick’, and doubles as both the comic relief and the hint giver. She follows her family’s footsteps as a medium-in-training, but as she is still in training, is not exactly the most skilled. Very excitable and curious, she often speaks without thinking, which can get her into trouble., but while she is a little childish and naïve at times, she is extremely loyal and can help the player out of dire situations.
NOTE: Pink Princess is a children’s show Maya is near-obsessed with.
Sample Post:
HA! I knew this place would be just what I need, it’s like it was made for training! It’s perfect! I mean, just look at everything: the haunted atmosphere, the secluded location... it’s almost glowing with potential!
Aah, but there will be time for gloating later! I need to get organized, or I won’t get anything done. First, I need to find a waterfall! Sure, you might say “But Maya, this is a swamp in Louisiana! There’s no way you can find a waterfall!” That kind of talk isn’t going to get anyone anywhere! What kind of medium would I be if I tried to train without a proper? So maybe there isn’t a proper one around here, I can make do! ... I wonder how cold the showers can get...
Next, speak to the right people about the zombie disposal. I may just be in training, but last time I checked, shotguns are not a valid way to exorcise! --no, not ‘aim for the eyes’ EX-OR-CISE! Sheesh, and I thought I was bad with the basics...
And then the third and most important part: profit! ♥ After all, all work and no play makes Maya no better than the shambling masses! I don’t need much, just a little room with me, the Pink Princess, and a bowl of popcorn, and I am so set. Ooooooh, this week’s episode is gonna be so good! I can’t wait to see how she manages to defeat the Crazed Cravat -- um, what’s that? ... You... can’t get Pink Princess here?
...
I was wrong. This place is awful. A dump. No one could stand this place. Not even a real psycho. WHAT AM I GOING TO DOOO
Poll Vote!
Character: Naoe Nagi
Series: Weiß Kreuz
Character Age: 15
Canon: Weiß Kreuz is a television series about four men who are florists by day, bad-ass, trenchcoat-wearing assassins by night. Yes, it's every bit as kitschy as it sounds. Like any bad good action series, for every up there's a down, and in the case of Weiß, their down is the four-man bad guy assassin team, Schwarz.
Youngest of Schwarz, Naoe Nagi is a 15 year old computer hacker whiz who just so happens to also be telekinetic. At first glace, he seems cold, sarcastic, and detached. In fact, he's ever-so-slightly less sociopathic than his teammates... and also cold, sarcastic, and detached. This, of course, stems from one of two canon childhood backstories (depending on what Koyasu was smoking the day he wrote each - take your pick!), which both involve humanity turning its back on Nagi and the obligatory boatload of angst (also, Ken not teaching Nagi soccer ;_;).
Sample Post:
How is this place even still functioning? For such a large complex, the computer systems are surprisingly antiquated. Have any of you ever heard of a firewall? Spyware? Trojans? Do you open everything you are e-mailed?
The laptop I was given upon arrival could be considered primitive at best. Windows ME? Please. Why not an Atari or a Commodore 64 while we're at it? Then I could at least waste my time in a more efficient manner by playing 'Barbie's Dream Date'.
Quite tellingly, I've received roughly two pop-ups per minute since I opened this machine. I can't fathom anyone clicking on something labeled 'MJ's Neverland Fun House' or 'Click here to win free pudding, little boy!' At least it had the questionably good taste to connect me to Livejournal as opposed to, say, MySpace. I'd rather be surrounded by attention-seeking cutters as opposed to illiterate attention-seeking cutters, after all.
And no, contrary to what the 'Help' file is telling me, the correct method of debugging is not to 'delete the contents of your System32 folder'. As tempting as that may be. Please tell me none of you have tried this. There are very few cases in which I'd consider the phrase 'kill it with fire' to actually be viable in debugging a computer. It seems I have found one.
The only thing I've seen here that has impressed me has been the Moogles. They're quite well-designed. The way they actually mimic a living being is amazing. I am going to have to take one apart, just to see exactly how it was built.
Hmm. It seems they can even understand human speech. The one I am nearby right now began to glare when I mentioned dismantling him. Interesting.
Now I only need to figure out what a 'kupo' is and why he wants to put one in that particular part of my anatomy. Whoever programmed these things had a charming sense of humor.
Poll Vote!
Character: Billy Kaplan (Wiccan)
Series: Young Avengers
Character age: 16
Canon: Every kid wants to be a superhero at some point. If a time
traveling teenager gave you that chance, wouldn’t you jump on it? Well,
that’s how the Young Avengers got their start. From those beginnings they
grow and change to become a competent group of heroes, even when their
elders would rather they weren’t heroes at all.
Billy is one of the founding members, a witch to be specific, and originally
based his hero identity on Thor. But he got better. He’s quite the geeky
fanboy with occasional snarky moments and often makes wise cracks. Other
than that he’s got a heart of gold and a sense of responsibility to go with
the level head on his shoulders. He will sometimes worry over his teammates
and faces bouts of self-doubt but he does his best to be a good superhero.
He has occasional moments of teenage boy syndrome but is otherwise an
intelligent and caring young man. One who is capable of casting spells based
on chanting and his desire for something to happen. He can also fly. He’s
also in a very happy and stable relationship with his boyfriend, Hulkling,
and they care for each other very much.
Oh, and Speed? Happens to be his sorta!twin brother, except not quite. It’s.
. . complicated.
Sample post:
IwanttofindSpeed. IwanttofindSpeed.
Iwanttofind- ...
Ooookay. Locating spells are not supposed do that. Nice atmosphere
though. Very B-Horror movie-ish. But with less horror and tons more camp. Or
maybe that should be swamp. So cabins and zombies, huh? This a summer camp
from hell sorta deal? A little late, isn’t it? Not that I mind, of course.
As long as you’re here willingly. If you’re not I do happen to be a
friendly, not-so-neighborhood superhero. I’m Wiccan of the Young Avengers;
heard of us?
Ok, I gotta say it. I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto- Oh, come
on. That’s at least worth a smile, even from the zombie-minions over there.
Except for the one without a lower jaw; he’s exempt. So. . . I guess
“take me to your leader” won’t go over well either. Speaking of
leaders, wonder who’s in charge of them? Don’t remember a villain with a
zombie-shtick. As exciting as the idea of a brand new nemesis of our very
own would be, well, a zombie-shtick isn’t all that menacing or
supervillianish, you know?
I mean, they can’t even stand up to my-ok, so they can stand up to my
spells-they’re really easy to avoid. All I have to do is fly up and- Ow! Ok,
who hung a- a giant exposition box? Geez, ever heard of show not tell, guys?
I’m not even gonna ask- Whoa, I’m talking in speech bubbles. That’s new.
Feels like I’ve stepped right into a comic book. I’d better not go 2-D; I’m
very much three-dimensional. It would really flatten me out. And nobody
likes flat characters.
So you’ve got speech bubbles, and sound effects too. Squelch is oddly
appropriate for limbs tearing off. Thought bubbles? Don’t think
anything embarrassing. Don’t think anything embarrassing. Oy.
Check. Those mutant gorillas even have animated stick figures in their-oh
geez- that’s porn. Really, if you’re going for a true comic book atmosphere
you can’t have porn! Ok, so the comic book code doesn’t really apply
anymore but porn is still off limits! And just because I’m wearing tights
doesn’t give you the right to molest me, even in thought bubbles.
Only my boyfriend gets to-urk. Embarrassing thought.
Character: Billy Kaplan aka "Wiccan"
Series: Young Avengers
Character Age: 16
Canon: A "nubile" member of the Young Avengers, Billy is Tommy Shepherd's long-lost soul twin, which sometimes results in humorous identity mix-ups despite obvious differences in character design. As a person, Billy is basically a geek; a blatant Avengers fan who unknowingly fanboys his own spirit mother. He spends most of his time interjecting dry, witty comments about the things going on around him--even dabbling in a little meta humor--and generally acting like a cute little puppy with his alien shape-shifting boyfriend, Teddy. He's also a touch too gullible for his own good.
As a superhero, Wiccan is a hapless witch/warlock (he can’t seem to decide which term he prefers) who is learning to control his powers using techniques garnered from Teddy's mother's self-help books. Recently, he's also developed an unfortunate habit of getting repeatedly captured.
Sample Post: I think you guys might have a zombie problem. Maybe. I mean, I was trying to find To--er, Speed--with a locator spell, and they swarmed me like superheroes on a major crossover event. So I tried zapping them away with a spell--you know, "I want the zombies to go away," that kind of thing. And that's when they gave me the brochure and pointed out that magic attracts the zombies. So letting me get rid of them with magic would be a blatant retcon and wouldn't be allowed. Luckily, we were able to strike a deal. I, uh . . . let them dress me up in the camp track suit and give me a swirly, and they'll leave me alone. Man, my mom lectured me about the psychological damage that harassment from zombies can do to a teenager. "It's a real problem. You'll develop corporophobia--that's a fear of going to the bathroom, you should look it up--and studies show that because of the zombies, it'll be especially debilitating at funerals. You won't even be able to attend your own parent's funerals." Thanks, Mom.
I'll admit that the whole encounter with the zombies was kinda disappointing. Definitely not what most people would expect from a superhero. After all, who'd entrust their safety to a boy who just had a bunch of walking corpses give him a swirly? But I'm one of the Young Avengers, so be assured: I can still help you out with your standard caped superhero stuff. Like saving kittens from trees, that one's easy. Stopping people with guns . . . is doable? We’re still ironing out a few little details. So if you need me to help you out with anything, I'm Wiccan--and I don't mean the religion, it's just my codename. It does mean I'm a witch, but please keep in mind that I'm not of the melting variety of witches. It's okay for me to get wet, I'd just rather not to. It'll make my track suit cling.
Oh, and as long as we're on the subject of the Young Avengers, there should be another one of the team around here, a guy who goes by "Speed." If you see him, let him know that I'm looking for him, and that Patriot said he's still not allowed to vaporize anyone. . . . I think that’s everything.
Oops, hang on. There is one last thing. Heh, I almost forgot. If I can have your attention again for just a moment, there's . . . oh. I guess you're all busy. Uh, that's okay, it can probably wait.
. . .
I want my tights back.
Poll Vote!