(no subject)
Righto, time for the usual early batch. By popular demand! Box woman is going to follow this up with another batch later on. As always, apps will be open until 6 AM EST. There's still plenty of time to write and submit one!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. ... good lord, you guys were fast. Closed.~
Character: Teddy Altman (Hulkling)
Series: Young Avengers
Age: 16
Canon: Young Avengers is the story of a group of superpowered fanboys
(and later girls) who are recruited to save the world by a time traveling
teenager. The elder heroes are strongly against this, but the teens take up
the superhero mantles anyway and proceed to develop themselves into a
competent crime-fighting team.
Teddy, aka Hulkling, is a founding member of the team. Though his name was
chosen as a nod to the Hulk, he’s a shapeshifter gifted with superstrength,
and he recently discovered he’s actually an alien. Which isn’t a big deal so
long as he can stay on earth with his team and his boyfriend, Wiccan, whom
he adores. Teddy is sweet, caring and polite with frequent moments of
witticisms and quips. He’s very much a fanboy as well. He really believes in
the good in people and their inherent common sense. Because of this, he can
occasionally behave very recklessly, much to Wiccan’s dismay. Add that to a
stubborn and protective streak a mile long and you’ve got one Teddy Altman.
On a side note he’s been known to use his shapeshifting to impersonate
heroes and celebrities, but he doesn’t do it as often since he became a
hero. To this day his superhero identity remains green-skinned.
Sample Post:
Ok, so maybe this isn’t my finest moment. Rescue missions aren’t supposed to
turn into wandering around horribly lost in a swamp while disguised as a
zombie but-Haha, whoops. Braaaaiiins, brraiins? Aarrrghh, braaaiiins. One of
you guys; just ignore little old me. There you go, good zombies. Now we can
go back to-passing that “Camp Fuck You Die” sign for the third time this
hour. I would fall in with the directionally challenged ones.
Alright, guys, that’s it. Follow me! Don’t look at me like that. Even the
undead can do follow the leader. So I’m the leader. This way guys; right
through these trees over here! . . . and right into the center of the
internment camp I’ve been looking for. How ironic.
Oh hey, there’re peo-err, purple gorillas. . . who are loitering
suspiciously. And those look like tazers; this won’t end well.
So, um, hi? Looks like you guys are well armed. I’ll have to ask you guys to
clear out and go about your business. Now I’m not looking for a fight right
now so no, you don’t need to get out your-tazers, wow, that was fast, listen
for a sec! Please put the tazers down and let’s just talk this out like
nice, civilized people, err, beings.
I asked nicely; don’t make me resort to violence. One more time; please put
the tazers down. . . . . . . Ok, now you’re making me angry, and you
don’t want to see me angry!
Who said a little hulking out didn’t do a body good? And they say it’s
impossible to solve things peacefully. Oops, looks like the commotion
attracted some attention. Sorry if I disturbed anyone. I am a superhero and
my name’s Hulkling. The green is natural, thanks. Pleased to meet you. I’m
here looking for a couple of my teammates. Wiccan and Speed. They look a lot
alike; they could be twins even. Or clones. But don’t worry; neither of them
is evil. We think.
Anyway if you could help me out I would be really grate-ful. Why are there
zombies clustering at my feet. . . and offering me fresh brains? Look guys,
I’m not a zombie so, um, you can go now? And monkey brains are a delicacy
I’m sure but, ew. Really. Ew.
Oh man, I think they’ve imprinted on me or something. Like ducklings.
I am so not zombie-mom material. Or a cuddly stuffed animal; get off!
No, I am not your teddy-bear.
Poll Vote!
Character: Alice L. Malvin
Series: Pumpkin Scissors (Anime/Manga)
Age: 18
Canon: War sucks. It sucks so much that it still
leaves a shitload of problems even after it's technically over. So who
are you gonna call to clean up after the government? The Intelligence
Army State Section III, that's who! This quartet of intrepid young
soldiers roam around the countryside like a pack of boy scouts,
toppling crazy nobles, fighting tanks, and generally being goody
two-shoes in a post WWII-era-esque world. ... or at least, that's how
Alice likes to think of it.
Second Lieutenant Alice L. Malvin is the leader of this cheery unit.
Born into a high-class family, she nevertheless feels a great deal of
empathy for the impoverished people she has sworn to assist. She has a
strong sense of justice, an unshakeable resolve that's three parts
heady idealism and one part just plain stupid. She's got the temper of
a firecracker with about five times the bang; she'd gladly tromp into
an enemy castle all alone if she thought it'd further her cause.
Sometimes (read: always) her honest naivete about the way the world
works makes her efforts somewhat ineffectual. But hey, at least she's
trying!
Sample Post:
Madam Director! Excuse me, Madam Director!
I have to admit, you had me fooled for a moment there. My paperwork
describes this place as a camp ideal for supporting all those
impoverished by war. "Orphans, kittens, huddled masses,
down-on-their-luck rainbows and cute amputees all accepted here," says
the flyer. If I were running a refugee camp, I would definitely
accept orphans and kittens too. It also helps that you submitted the
name as being "Cheerful Sunshine Wonderful Fighting Love Camp."
Points for that.
But when I actually arrived here, I found that you were lying! Look
at these poor people! Stumbling around with no medical assistance,
forced to beg for even the smallest of rations? I admit I didn't know
that "brains" meant food before coming here, but that's hardly an
excuse for you failing to understand their situation! Intolerable!
How could you do such a thing? Why, this Mr. Snnaahghgbl (he's
Russian, I believe) has a wife and three children to feed, and only
three limbs with which to feed them! Some of them walk around in
circles for days at a time, for fun. Can you honestly look
into the eye sockets of these refugees and tell them that you are
doing them a favor? No!
Madam Director, tear down this barrier! If you do not, I am willing
to go to any length to ensure that these so-called zombies receive
justice. If that means working alongside them, so be it. I will eat
the same 'brains' they do. I can even shamble the same way they do.
If there is a need for a Kumbaya or an inspiring commoner folk song,
then I will make sure a guitar is procured! We can live together and
form that special bond of --
Ah, there's something --
... well, if attaching yourself to the back of someone's neck is the
commoner's way of saying hello, I can do that too.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kouji Karakuchi
Series: Medabots
Age: 10-12ish
Canon: Known in Japan as 'Medarot,' Medabots is a robot-battling anime that follows Ikki Tenryou and his robot partner (medabot), Metabee, as the two learn how to work together and rise up in the ranks. ... In other words, if Digimon or Pokemon were to mate with a crack tournament show and have a side affair with your generic robot series, Medabots is what might come out of it.
Kouji Karakuchi is Ikki's rival. Smart, popular, and ranked number two in the nation, Kouji and his medabot Sumilidon are well-known for having never lost a single fight. Even though he can be described as rich and somewhat snooty, he still has a sense of honor and tries not to take advantage of other fighters just for the sake of winning. Kouji also crushes heavily on his classmate, Karin, and gets insanely jealous when others pay attention to her.
Despite his demeanor, Kouji trains hard with Sumilidon to maintain his ranking, even going as far as to accept help from the number one fighter in Japan. All in all, he isn't one to allow someone like Ikki to one-up him. If Ikki takes on a certain amount of training, he'll do the same! ... even if it means cleaning out his crush's uncle's attic, filled with the one thing that he can't cope with: bugs.
Sample Post:
--is nothing sacred here?!
You there! ... no, not you. The other half-witted native with a severe case of leprosy or whatever you people like to call your skin conditions these days! Do you really call this service? Americans. It's obvious at this point that your little "camp" is lacking in funds. Heck, I could even accept the tea being decaf -- although I would have to wonder about your Director's tastes. But do your bugs have to carry on with their questionable activities in my hot, hypothetically caffienated beverage?!
... ahem. It's clear that your settlement here is lacking not only in service, but in style as well. Is dreck like this actually popular in America? I recognize that commoners only have so much to work with, but I would've thought that people over here would at least have a decent system in place to handle all the pests that lurk about.
No, no, I wasn't referring to your open-air zoo. After all, the goats give the bayou an urbane sort of feel. And really, the employees that I spoke with earlier could stand to take advice from your vibrant albeit gaudy trained apes; they're far more helpful, even if they're a little too friendly for their own good. On the contrary: you have an infestation that's been festering here for far too long.
What do I mean? I was just talking about them! Bugs. Not just the ones in those junky computers of yours, either. Gnats, fire ants, mosquitos-- you know! The local yokel that strongly resembled a decaying Bruce Campbell even mentioned a 'love bug,' but what does he know? It's astonishing that you've barely done anything to take care of these pests that lurk on your windows, cabin doors, and even in your buckets with "ANGST" written on them in a most curious fashion.
It is, however, amazing that penny-pinchers like yourselves have somehow managed to invest in some half decent roach hotels, like this one over here. Good and sturdy from the looks of it, where they check in, but--
... well. At least your roaches seem to know how to live in style.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ogiue Chika
Series: Genshiken
Age: 18-19
Canon: The Society for the Study of Modern Visual Culture, better known as the Genshiken, is a club formed by college students who wish to "tear down the barriers between manga, anime, and videogames." In reality, you could say it's just a hangout place for hardcore otaku who could never pick between specialized clubs (like the manga, or video games one). The plot revolves around the geeky misadventures of the club members, which generally range from weekly discussions about the latest episode of their favorite anime, to a joint effort of the club to create and put out a doujinshi to sell at large otaku events.
When Ogiue transfers from the Manga Club to the Genshiken, the first thing she does is openly declare her deep disgust for otaku; particularly 'female otaku who like queers'. A short while after, we learn that Ogiue is in fact a closeted omega yaoi fangirl who ships, fantasizes, AND draws doujinshi about the other Genshiken members. And even though she continues to shuuuunnn l33t g4merz, cosplayers, and otaku in general, she can be talked into pretty much any geekery by the power of maximum peer pressure. Ogiue's personality is on the quiet-shy side of the spectrum, with the occasional dash of grumpiness here and there, and she also has a tendency for self-defenestration whenever she's losing an argument. However, she can be truly enthusiastic -and even cute- when dealing with matters that hold great importance to her; matters such as "Scram Dunk" or "Haregan" doujinshi events.
Note: Genshiken canonically makes plays on series' names and characters titles/ranks, so yes, by this logic Haregan = Hagaren = Fullmetal Alchemist; Ogiue is a big fan of the 'General' from said series. Characters were mentioned with the muns' permission.
Sample Post:
So... "Camp Fack Ur Doujinshi," huh? I should've known this place would be more oriented towards otaku, especially with this cheap porn game setting they've got. Sure, sure, the zombies are a nice touch, but seriously: vines and tentacles are one thing (I guess they're only here because they're classics), but the freaking goats and gorillas? Something else entirely. Exactly what kind of deranged people are in charge of this place?!
The brochure says the camp's mission is to "help young artists improve their skills, and provide them with new experiences and inspiration for their works," but so far I haven't really seen anyone working on their books. And what's with all the idiot girls running around in cosplay? Are they actually proud of being seen as oversexualized characters designed only to satisfy men's dirtiest fantasies?
Nah, I'm definitely not going to be able to achieve anything here. The longer I look at the people, the more nauseated I start feeling. There's no way in hell you're getting me to share a cabin with--
. . . !
Wait... Oh. Oh. No, it-- couldn't possibly be... That uniform. That hair. The nearly impeccable design of the array on the gloves and. H-He's even the perfect height. I wonder if he's getting paid for this, or-- Oh wow, that Eyescreen 21 cosplayer is not bad either! I could even draw a crossover and... yes, yes, it's coming to me now: "The General has always held a passion for american football, and when he accidentally finds out the true identity of Eyescreen 21 while they're both trapped in Zombie Camp of Doom, the talented yet submissive football player will have to make use of all of his creativity to keep the fiery soldier from revealing his secret to the masses." Mh, I should start working on it right now.
...Augh, I never thought goats would be so difficult to draw.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kasukabe Saki
Series: Genshiken (manga)
Age: 20-21
Canon: Genshiken, or "The Society for Modern Visual Culture," is the name of a University club where all aspects of otaku culture have their place, be that anime, manga, games, cosplay, doujinshi, seiyuu, figures, etc.
When Kasukabe Saki reunites with her childhood friend Kousaka Makoto on her first year, she's pleasantly surprised to discover he's turned into exactly her stylish, prettyface-boy type. However, that's only until she learns he's now helplessly immersed in the ways of the otaku and he even joins the Genshiken! Saki herself is antithesis of everything otaku; she likes to spend millions of yen in clothes, and her taste and hobbies are rather shallow. Still, her love turns out to be stronger than her squick, and that's how her painful reluctanct involvement in their geek world comes to pass.
Saki can be bossy, blunt and sometimes insulting among people she doesn't care to impress, but she's a loyal friend, even to the Genshiken people. She has a curious nature and can be naive, but also enjoys making fun of people she feels comfortable with, being downright mean to them at times, for her personal amusement. Though her hatred of otaku has melted down considerably at the point in canon she's being pulled from (she's managed to grasp some of the basic concepts by now), she's still annoyed by certain displays of geekdom which she ultimately "doesn't get."
Saki has a tendency to be physical in public and has no qualms about asking for advice (even sexual) under the guise of "a friend" if she's too ashamed to admit she's talking about herself.
Sample Post:
Hey, you! Yeah, you, the maid gorilla. Come over, this lake's as good as it gets around here. I've had a tough day and it'd do me good to talk it over with someone... Whoa, you look pretty cool up close, like a real gorilla! I can't even spot the stitching! Did you make it yourself?
...Not too talkative, are you? That's okay, I'll tell you something funny instead while I finish my smoke, and then you can help me find my way out of here.
It's about a friend of mine who wants to open a clothing store back in Japan. She saw this brochure for Adult Camps in Louisiana at her boyfriend's, and she knew he was planning on attending an "Erotic Game Maker Camp" because they had argued about it. So she skimmed through it and decided to go to a Future of Fashion workshop that would take place nearby, and sneak into her boyfriend's camp once in a while to remind him that he can get laid. She didn't tell him, though; you know how otaku can be when you try to ruin their porn time? It's like they're a completely different species!
... Ah, no pun intended. I wasn't making fun of you, though you're so asking for it in that getup. I mean, it's not just you; this whole place is starting to piss me off. CFUD, was it? What does it really stand for? Cosplay Fair something? I even did a websearch on this laptop I found, and all I came up with was this totally hardcore otaku wiki! And you know, I'm tired and my feet still hurt from walking all over the place trying to find a way out. So, now that we're acquainted, how about you tell me what's the shortest way back to town so I can get to my-- W-wait, don't leave! Er, you won't have to go out of character, you can just point me in the right direction!... What? Behind me? What's behind me?... Hey, don't ignore me, wh--- oh. Oh.
UGH. That's freaking nasty! Who in their right mind would dress up like that?! Check out that tentacle! It looks like the real thing!... Say, is this some kind of Halloween moe cosplay event? Because this is almost like one of those games Kousaka likes... to... play. Even... down to the tentacles...
Uhh. I did, didn't I... Ahahaha, I totally ended up at Kousaka's camp of porn! Lucky~!
Poll Vote!
Character: Guy Cecil
Series: Tales of the Abyss
Age: 21
Canon: The latest installment in Namco's Tales series, Tales of the Abyss loves its music. On the planet Auldrant, all things are composed of not only atoms but fonons--particles of sound. As though that's not enough, everywhere, people follow the Score, a prophecy that plots out everything from day-to-day events to the future of the planet itself. The story begins with a boy named Luke Fon Fabre, who plays a very important role in the Score...
Guy Cecil is a servant in the Fabre Manor. After Luke lost his memory seven years ago, Guy was charged with more or less raising him. His easygoing nature and common sense makes him the perfect babysitter for the more volatile Luke. He's also popular with the ladies due to his natural charm. Unfortunately, due to an incident in his past, he's absolutely terrified of women touching him and usually reacts to it with flailing and an attempt to hide behind the nearest male.
Note: Rappigs are a species of animal on Auldrant--as their name would suggest, they're a combination of pigs and rabbits.
Sample Post:
One of these days I'm going to say no. His Majesty is going say "Oh my, it seems the rappigs have gotten out again, could you please be a dear and drop everything to search for them?" and I'll say no, I'm already busy.
Today... isn't that day.
Okay, Guy, look on the bright side. You may be lost in a swamp on a ridiculous errand, but at least it's a nice day out. The sky is blue, the sun is shining, and there are-- there are squirrels pointing swords at you. Okay. Maybe the bright side isn't as bright as I thought. Look, could we talk about this? No? Well, you asked for it.
...
...even the items the enemies drop here are strange. I was expecting an Apple Gel, maybe a Lemon Gel if I was lucky, but KY Gel? What's that supposed to do? "For use as a personal"-- you know what, I don't want to know why those squirrels were carrying that. Instead-- oh, good, people.
I hate to bother you lovely ladies when you're so obviously enjoying your picnic, but I don't suppose you've seen a small herd of rappigs go by? There should be about five of them, with expensive-looking collars-- no, you don't have to get up, I'm fine with looking for them myself. R-really, if you could maybe stay about five paces away that would be just great and-- AUUUUGH MISS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REMOVE YOUR HANDS--oh god i didn't mean literally--AND TAKE THEM WITH YOU!
T-thank you. If it's okay with you, I'll just. Go and take my chances with. With the monsters over there. And maybe pass out later. Y-yeah. So. Monsters. Normally I wouldn't be one to talk to monsters, especially big purple ones, but hey, you look like a fairly intelligent bunch, judging from the uniforms and all. Have you seen any rappigs recently?
...I said "rappigs," not "rapings."
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. ... good lord, you guys were fast. Closed.~
Character: Teddy Altman (Hulkling)
Series: Young Avengers
Age: 16
Canon: Young Avengers is the story of a group of superpowered fanboys
(and later girls) who are recruited to save the world by a time traveling
teenager. The elder heroes are strongly against this, but the teens take up
the superhero mantles anyway and proceed to develop themselves into a
competent crime-fighting team.
Teddy, aka Hulkling, is a founding member of the team. Though his name was
chosen as a nod to the Hulk, he’s a shapeshifter gifted with superstrength,
and he recently discovered he’s actually an alien. Which isn’t a big deal so
long as he can stay on earth with his team and his boyfriend, Wiccan, whom
he adores. Teddy is sweet, caring and polite with frequent moments of
witticisms and quips. He’s very much a fanboy as well. He really believes in
the good in people and their inherent common sense. Because of this, he can
occasionally behave very recklessly, much to Wiccan’s dismay. Add that to a
stubborn and protective streak a mile long and you’ve got one Teddy Altman.
On a side note he’s been known to use his shapeshifting to impersonate
heroes and celebrities, but he doesn’t do it as often since he became a
hero. To this day his superhero identity remains green-skinned.
Sample Post:
Ok, so maybe this isn’t my finest moment. Rescue missions aren’t supposed to
turn into wandering around horribly lost in a swamp while disguised as a
zombie but-Haha, whoops. Braaaaiiins, brraiins? Aarrrghh, braaaiiins. One of
you guys; just ignore little old me. There you go, good zombies. Now we can
go back to-passing that “Camp Fuck You Die” sign for the third time this
hour. I would fall in with the directionally challenged ones.
Alright, guys, that’s it. Follow me! Don’t look at me like that. Even the
undead can do follow the leader. So I’m the leader. This way guys; right
through these trees over here! . . . and right into the center of the
internment camp I’ve been looking for. How ironic.
Oh hey, there’re peo-err, purple gorillas. . . who are loitering
suspiciously. And those look like tazers; this won’t end well.
So, um, hi? Looks like you guys are well armed. I’ll have to ask you guys to
clear out and go about your business. Now I’m not looking for a fight right
now so no, you don’t need to get out your-tazers, wow, that was fast, listen
for a sec! Please put the tazers down and let’s just talk this out like
nice, civilized people, err, beings.
I asked nicely; don’t make me resort to violence. One more time; please put
the tazers down. . . . . . . Ok, now you’re making me angry, and you
don’t want to see me angry!
Who said a little hulking out didn’t do a body good? And they say it’s
impossible to solve things peacefully. Oops, looks like the commotion
attracted some attention. Sorry if I disturbed anyone. I am a superhero and
my name’s Hulkling. The green is natural, thanks. Pleased to meet you. I’m
here looking for a couple of my teammates. Wiccan and Speed. They look a lot
alike; they could be twins even. Or clones. But don’t worry; neither of them
is evil. We think.
Anyway if you could help me out I would be really grate-ful. Why are there
zombies clustering at my feet. . . and offering me fresh brains? Look guys,
I’m not a zombie so, um, you can go now? And monkey brains are a delicacy
I’m sure but, ew. Really. Ew.
Oh man, I think they’ve imprinted on me or something. Like ducklings.
I am so not zombie-mom material. Or a cuddly stuffed animal; get off!
No, I am not your teddy-bear.
Poll Vote!
Character: Alice L. Malvin
Series: Pumpkin Scissors (Anime/Manga)
Age: 18
Canon: War sucks. It sucks so much that it still
leaves a shitload of problems even after it's technically over. So who
are you gonna call to clean up after the government? The Intelligence
Army State Section III, that's who! This quartet of intrepid young
soldiers roam around the countryside like a pack of boy scouts,
toppling crazy nobles, fighting tanks, and generally being goody
two-shoes in a post WWII-era-esque world. ... or at least, that's how
Alice likes to think of it.
Second Lieutenant Alice L. Malvin is the leader of this cheery unit.
Born into a high-class family, she nevertheless feels a great deal of
empathy for the impoverished people she has sworn to assist. She has a
strong sense of justice, an unshakeable resolve that's three parts
heady idealism and one part just plain stupid. She's got the temper of
a firecracker with about five times the bang; she'd gladly tromp into
an enemy castle all alone if she thought it'd further her cause.
Sometimes (read: always) her honest naivete about the way the world
works makes her efforts somewhat ineffectual. But hey, at least she's
trying!
Sample Post:
Madam Director! Excuse me, Madam Director!
I have to admit, you had me fooled for a moment there. My paperwork
describes this place as a camp ideal for supporting all those
impoverished by war. "Orphans, kittens, huddled masses,
down-on-their-luck rainbows and cute amputees all accepted here," says
the flyer. If I were running a refugee camp, I would definitely
accept orphans and kittens too. It also helps that you submitted the
name as being "Cheerful Sunshine Wonderful Fighting Love Camp."
Points for that.
But when I actually arrived here, I found that you were lying! Look
at these poor people! Stumbling around with no medical assistance,
forced to beg for even the smallest of rations? I admit I didn't know
that "brains" meant food before coming here, but that's hardly an
excuse for you failing to understand their situation! Intolerable!
How could you do such a thing? Why, this Mr. Snnaahghgbl (he's
Russian, I believe) has a wife and three children to feed, and only
three limbs with which to feed them! Some of them walk around in
circles for days at a time, for fun. Can you honestly look
into the eye sockets of these refugees and tell them that you are
doing them a favor? No!
Madam Director, tear down this barrier! If you do not, I am willing
to go to any length to ensure that these so-called zombies receive
justice. If that means working alongside them, so be it. I will eat
the same 'brains' they do. I can even shamble the same way they do.
If there is a need for a Kumbaya or an inspiring commoner folk song,
then I will make sure a guitar is procured! We can live together and
form that special bond of --
Ah, there's something --
... well, if attaching yourself to the back of someone's neck is the
commoner's way of saying hello, I can do that too.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kouji Karakuchi
Series: Medabots
Age: 10-12ish
Canon: Known in Japan as 'Medarot,' Medabots is a robot-battling anime that follows Ikki Tenryou and his robot partner (medabot), Metabee, as the two learn how to work together and rise up in the ranks. ... In other words, if Digimon or Pokemon were to mate with a crack tournament show and have a side affair with your generic robot series, Medabots is what might come out of it.
Kouji Karakuchi is Ikki's rival. Smart, popular, and ranked number two in the nation, Kouji and his medabot Sumilidon are well-known for having never lost a single fight. Even though he can be described as rich and somewhat snooty, he still has a sense of honor and tries not to take advantage of other fighters just for the sake of winning. Kouji also crushes heavily on his classmate, Karin, and gets insanely jealous when others pay attention to her.
Despite his demeanor, Kouji trains hard with Sumilidon to maintain his ranking, even going as far as to accept help from the number one fighter in Japan. All in all, he isn't one to allow someone like Ikki to one-up him. If Ikki takes on a certain amount of training, he'll do the same! ... even if it means cleaning out his crush's uncle's attic, filled with the one thing that he can't cope with: bugs.
Sample Post:
--is nothing sacred here?!
You there! ... no, not you. The other half-witted native with a severe case of leprosy or whatever you people like to call your skin conditions these days! Do you really call this service? Americans. It's obvious at this point that your little "camp" is lacking in funds. Heck, I could even accept the tea being decaf -- although I would have to wonder about your Director's tastes. But do your bugs have to carry on with their questionable activities in my hot, hypothetically caffienated beverage?!
... ahem. It's clear that your settlement here is lacking not only in service, but in style as well. Is dreck like this actually popular in America? I recognize that commoners only have so much to work with, but I would've thought that people over here would at least have a decent system in place to handle all the pests that lurk about.
No, no, I wasn't referring to your open-air zoo. After all, the goats give the bayou an urbane sort of feel. And really, the employees that I spoke with earlier could stand to take advice from your vibrant albeit gaudy trained apes; they're far more helpful, even if they're a little too friendly for their own good. On the contrary: you have an infestation that's been festering here for far too long.
What do I mean? I was just talking about them! Bugs. Not just the ones in those junky computers of yours, either. Gnats, fire ants, mosquitos-- you know! The local yokel that strongly resembled a decaying Bruce Campbell even mentioned a 'love bug,' but what does he know? It's astonishing that you've barely done anything to take care of these pests that lurk on your windows, cabin doors, and even in your buckets with "ANGST" written on them in a most curious fashion.
It is, however, amazing that penny-pinchers like yourselves have somehow managed to invest in some half decent roach hotels, like this one over here. Good and sturdy from the looks of it, where they check in, but--
... well. At least your roaches seem to know how to live in style.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ogiue Chika
Series: Genshiken
Age: 18-19
Canon: The Society for the Study of Modern Visual Culture, better known as the Genshiken, is a club formed by college students who wish to "tear down the barriers between manga, anime, and videogames." In reality, you could say it's just a hangout place for hardcore otaku who could never pick between specialized clubs (like the manga, or video games one). The plot revolves around the geeky misadventures of the club members, which generally range from weekly discussions about the latest episode of their favorite anime, to a joint effort of the club to create and put out a doujinshi to sell at large otaku events.
When Ogiue transfers from the Manga Club to the Genshiken, the first thing she does is openly declare her deep disgust for otaku; particularly 'female otaku who like queers'. A short while after, we learn that Ogiue is in fact a closeted omega yaoi fangirl who ships, fantasizes, AND draws doujinshi about the other Genshiken members. And even though she continues to shuuuunnn l33t g4merz, cosplayers, and otaku in general, she can be talked into pretty much any geekery by the power of maximum peer pressure. Ogiue's personality is on the quiet-shy side of the spectrum, with the occasional dash of grumpiness here and there, and she also has a tendency for self-defenestration whenever she's losing an argument. However, she can be truly enthusiastic -and even cute- when dealing with matters that hold great importance to her; matters such as "Scram Dunk" or "Haregan" doujinshi events.
Note: Genshiken canonically makes plays on series' names and characters titles/ranks, so yes, by this logic Haregan = Hagaren = Fullmetal Alchemist; Ogiue is a big fan of the 'General' from said series. Characters were mentioned with the muns' permission.
Sample Post:
So... "Camp Fack Ur Doujinshi," huh? I should've known this place would be more oriented towards otaku, especially with this cheap porn game setting they've got. Sure, sure, the zombies are a nice touch, but seriously: vines and tentacles are one thing (I guess they're only here because they're classics), but the freaking goats and gorillas? Something else entirely. Exactly what kind of deranged people are in charge of this place?!
The brochure says the camp's mission is to "help young artists improve their skills, and provide them with new experiences and inspiration for their works," but so far I haven't really seen anyone working on their books. And what's with all the idiot girls running around in cosplay? Are they actually proud of being seen as oversexualized characters designed only to satisfy men's dirtiest fantasies?
Nah, I'm definitely not going to be able to achieve anything here. The longer I look at the people, the more nauseated I start feeling. There's no way in hell you're getting me to share a cabin with--
. . . !
Wait... Oh. Oh. No, it-- couldn't possibly be... That uniform. That hair. The nearly impeccable design of the array on the gloves and. H-He's even the perfect height. I wonder if he's getting paid for this, or-- Oh wow, that Eyescreen 21 cosplayer is not bad either! I could even draw a crossover and... yes, yes, it's coming to me now: "The General has always held a passion for american football, and when he accidentally finds out the true identity of Eyescreen 21 while they're both trapped in Zombie Camp of Doom, the talented yet submissive football player will have to make use of all of his creativity to keep the fiery soldier from revealing his secret to the masses." Mh, I should start working on it right now.
...Augh, I never thought goats would be so difficult to draw.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kasukabe Saki
Series: Genshiken (manga)
Age: 20-21
Canon: Genshiken, or "The Society for Modern Visual Culture," is the name of a University club where all aspects of otaku culture have their place, be that anime, manga, games, cosplay, doujinshi, seiyuu, figures, etc.
When Kasukabe Saki reunites with her childhood friend Kousaka Makoto on her first year, she's pleasantly surprised to discover he's turned into exactly her stylish, prettyface-boy type. However, that's only until she learns he's now helplessly immersed in the ways of the otaku and he even joins the Genshiken! Saki herself is antithesis of everything otaku; she likes to spend millions of yen in clothes, and her taste and hobbies are rather shallow. Still, her love turns out to be stronger than her squick, and that's how her painful reluctanct involvement in their geek world comes to pass.
Saki can be bossy, blunt and sometimes insulting among people she doesn't care to impress, but she's a loyal friend, even to the Genshiken people. She has a curious nature and can be naive, but also enjoys making fun of people she feels comfortable with, being downright mean to them at times, for her personal amusement. Though her hatred of otaku has melted down considerably at the point in canon she's being pulled from (she's managed to grasp some of the basic concepts by now), she's still annoyed by certain displays of geekdom which she ultimately "doesn't get."
Saki has a tendency to be physical in public and has no qualms about asking for advice (even sexual) under the guise of "a friend" if she's too ashamed to admit she's talking about herself.
Sample Post:
Hey, you! Yeah, you, the maid gorilla. Come over, this lake's as good as it gets around here. I've had a tough day and it'd do me good to talk it over with someone... Whoa, you look pretty cool up close, like a real gorilla! I can't even spot the stitching! Did you make it yourself?
...Not too talkative, are you? That's okay, I'll tell you something funny instead while I finish my smoke, and then you can help me find my way out of here.
It's about a friend of mine who wants to open a clothing store back in Japan. She saw this brochure for Adult Camps in Louisiana at her boyfriend's, and she knew he was planning on attending an "Erotic Game Maker Camp" because they had argued about it. So she skimmed through it and decided to go to a Future of Fashion workshop that would take place nearby, and sneak into her boyfriend's camp once in a while to remind him that he can get laid. She didn't tell him, though; you know how otaku can be when you try to ruin their porn time? It's like they're a completely different species!
... Ah, no pun intended. I wasn't making fun of you, though you're so asking for it in that getup. I mean, it's not just you; this whole place is starting to piss me off. CFUD, was it? What does it really stand for? Cosplay Fair something? I even did a websearch on this laptop I found, and all I came up with was this totally hardcore otaku wiki! And you know, I'm tired and my feet still hurt from walking all over the place trying to find a way out. So, now that we're acquainted, how about you tell me what's the shortest way back to town so I can get to my-- W-wait, don't leave! Er, you won't have to go out of character, you can just point me in the right direction!... What? Behind me? What's behind me?... Hey, don't ignore me, wh--- oh. Oh.
UGH. That's freaking nasty! Who in their right mind would dress up like that?! Check out that tentacle! It looks like the real thing!... Say, is this some kind of Halloween moe cosplay event? Because this is almost like one of those games Kousaka likes... to... play. Even... down to the tentacles...
Uhh. I did, didn't I... Ahahaha, I totally ended up at Kousaka's camp of porn! Lucky~!
Poll Vote!
Character: Guy Cecil
Series: Tales of the Abyss
Age: 21
Canon: The latest installment in Namco's Tales series, Tales of the Abyss loves its music. On the planet Auldrant, all things are composed of not only atoms but fonons--particles of sound. As though that's not enough, everywhere, people follow the Score, a prophecy that plots out everything from day-to-day events to the future of the planet itself. The story begins with a boy named Luke Fon Fabre, who plays a very important role in the Score...
Guy Cecil is a servant in the Fabre Manor. After Luke lost his memory seven years ago, Guy was charged with more or less raising him. His easygoing nature and common sense makes him the perfect babysitter for the more volatile Luke. He's also popular with the ladies due to his natural charm. Unfortunately, due to an incident in his past, he's absolutely terrified of women touching him and usually reacts to it with flailing and an attempt to hide behind the nearest male.
Note: Rappigs are a species of animal on Auldrant--as their name would suggest, they're a combination of pigs and rabbits.
Sample Post:
One of these days I'm going to say no. His Majesty is going say "Oh my, it seems the rappigs have gotten out again, could you please be a dear and drop everything to search for them?" and I'll say no, I'm already busy.
Today... isn't that day.
Okay, Guy, look on the bright side. You may be lost in a swamp on a ridiculous errand, but at least it's a nice day out. The sky is blue, the sun is shining, and there are-- there are squirrels pointing swords at you. Okay. Maybe the bright side isn't as bright as I thought. Look, could we talk about this? No? Well, you asked for it.
...
...even the items the enemies drop here are strange. I was expecting an Apple Gel, maybe a Lemon Gel if I was lucky, but KY Gel? What's that supposed to do? "For use as a personal"-- you know what, I don't want to know why those squirrels were carrying that. Instead-- oh, good, people.
I hate to bother you lovely ladies when you're so obviously enjoying your picnic, but I don't suppose you've seen a small herd of rappigs go by? There should be about five of them, with expensive-looking collars-- no, you don't have to get up, I'm fine with looking for them myself. R-really, if you could maybe stay about five paces away that would be just great and-- AUUUUGH MISS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REMOVE YOUR HANDS--oh god i didn't mean literally--AND TAKE THEM WITH YOU!
T-thank you. If it's okay with you, I'll just. Go and take my chances with. With the monsters over there. And maybe pass out later. Y-yeah. So. Monsters. Normally I wouldn't be one to talk to monsters, especially big purple ones, but hey, you look like a fairly intelligent bunch, judging from the uniforms and all. Have you seen any rappigs recently?
...I said "rappigs," not "rapings."
Poll Vote!