(no subject)
Oh snap the first round's over already. WELL while y'all are in a voting mood, HERE, HAVE SOME MORE. Dup batch at the end.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED FOR GREAT JUSTICE
Character: Rosette Christopher
Series: Chrno
Crusade
Character Age: 16
Canon: It all begins in the Roaring Twenties, when a
pseudo-religious organization known as the Magdalan Order gathers exorcists
and militia to combat a rising demonic presence throughout the American
continent. In the Order's New York branch, Sister Rosette Christopher and
her demon partner, Chrno, strive to surpass any opposition set in front of
them, erase the horrors of their pasts, and convince their boss to give them
another car. It wasn't like they were aiming for that building
anyway.
Rosette doesn't exactly fit the job description for a nun. Not only does she
swear frequently and perform daily curses rather than daily prayers, but she
routinely points a loaded gun at whatever happens to be bothering,
attacking, and/or groping her at the moment. The lucky ones get away with
physical abuse and screaming. Also, although she has proved herself a very
capable exorcist, she hates to sit back and follow orders. Even if it means
putting herself right in the heart of danger, she wants above all to do what
she wants, not what others tell her to do.
What isn't so easily seen is the great burden Rosette must carry: her life
is steadily being depleted in a contract with Chrno to allow him to live and
fight beside her. Furthermore, she can constantly see the progress of her
death by means of a stopwatch that she wears around her neck. As a result of
this limited lifespan, she decides to live her life to the fullest and make
use of the time she has left. And if anyone else happens to emo, she'll
smack some sense into them.
Sample Post:
Attention, all you lost lambs! This area is now under the jurisdiction of
the Magdalan Order, due to reports of some intense supernatural activity.
Serving you today will be yours truly, Sister Rosette Christopher, and my
assistant, Chr--...wait, where the hell did he go?! Hmph! Well, he's
probably just shy or still sleeping the lazy bastard, so
you'll meet him later. Chrno, wherever you are, I hope you realize that
you're going first into the questionable buildings for this.
Anyway, just sit back, relax, and let me do my job! If you don't comply,
I'll be forced to issue a warning shot. And god help you if you keep
bothering me, because although I may not shove gospel down your throat, I
will fire it directly into your forehead. Understood? Let's see some
nodding, people, you can at least pretend to be excited. Do I have to speak
boonie to you or something? God, I better get a pay raise for this
shit. These people look like they might have inbred a little too
much.
Now, I understand that situations like this can be stressful and confusing.
In light of that, I will be supplying inhabitants with a copy of
Badtouched By An Angel, a holy water spray bottle, and a few
Vatican-approved explosives of your very own! Because if there's anything
that honors our Lord and Savior, it's the bloody chunks of unholy monsters
sailing into the sky. Just don't use them on each other, kids, I already had
to deal with that last week.
So if you see any evidence of demonic activity, just contact me and
I'll--what did I just say about using them on each other? Stop
that right now! You think I'm kidding? Does the gun pointed at your FACE
make it look like I'm kidding?! I don't care if God forgives you, I
won't forgive you!
THAT'S IT, GODDAMMIT! GET OVER HERE SO I CAN AIM PROPERLY, YOU
COWARD! AND DON'T YOU EVEN TRY TO HIDE, 'CAUSE I'LL FIND YOU AND
I'LL--
Don't give me that look, you deserved it! And don't you dare start whining
about it, or the gun is coming out again!
As for the rest of you. Any questions?
What's that? Of course I'm really a nun, why do you ask?
Poll Vote!
Character: Pratty
Series: Summon Night: Swordcraft Story
Character Age: Around 15
Canon: Summon Night: Swordcraft Story is a game following the child of a hero as they try to follow in their father's footsteps. At the beginning of the game you can choose whether the child is a boy or a girl; Pratty is the girl.
The game starts with Pratty being allowed into a tournament to decide who will take her father's place as the Craftlord of Iron. Craftlords are basically blacksmiths who forge especially strong weapons with the help of guardian beasts (Pratty's beast's name is Sugar) summoned from the spirit world, and who rule the city of Wystern where Pratty lives. Victory in the tournament, and making stronger and stronger weapons to achieve that victory, remains Pratty's main focus for most of the game, along with learning more about her father and the events leading to his death.
Pratty is a normal, usually cheerful, girl, although she does have a short temper that mostly shows itself over people intruding on her without permission, acting like they think she's still a child, or insulting her work. She's a little on the dense side, but isn't totally stupid, she just has a bad habit of jumping to conclusions and refusing to let go of them until someone takes the time to sit her down and drill the truth into her head. She's almost always willing to see the good in people, even when they're her enemies, and if she thinks someone has a good side she'll defend them when others insult them no matter what they've done to her in the past.
Note: the only guns in the game are stray summons (its name for random encounter monsters).
Sample Post:
Wow, I can really see why that director woman wrote to say a blacksmith could do good business here. It's awfully brave of so many of you to use stray summons for weapons and all, but aren't you afraid they'll turn around and attack you some day? I guarantee you'll all be so impressed with my work that you'll never need to touch them again! I can make you a sword so light that there's no chance the weight of it will make your arm fall off, which, um, kind've looks like the sort've thing some of you might need to worry about, if you don't mind me saying so. Don't worry! I understand that people with leprosy need to defend themselves too, and will not discriminate against you! Ha! And some of the people in town thought I was too young to be diplomatic.
I've never been on a sell totally on my own before, but, let's see, I think the first thing I'm supposed to do is go see the person who called me out here. That's good, because there's already something I need to talk to her about aside from that. Did you all know that someone is growing hallucinogenic mushrooms in your woods? I mean, not that I want to accuse anyone here of breaking the law or anything; I'm sure you're all very good and law-abiding people! And I can totally understand why people in your, um, conditions might want to take something to make you forget about the real world for a while if you... weren't.
But, see, you might not want to leave them growing around like normal mushrooms, because it was a long walk from the last town to here, and I was really hungry by the time I was done with it so when I saw them growing I thought I'd have a snack. Then, before I could eat them, this cute little dormouse ran up and I thought it started talking to me! It kept saying "Feed your head. Feed your head," and when I was little my mom warned me to watch out for strange people offering me strange mushrooms, but she never told me that they could make you hallucinate just by touching them! Of course I dropped them right away, and then it got even weirder because the dormouse ran up and ate part of one and, well, it's a really good thing that it was all in my head, because if it wasn't I'd be cleaning giant-mouse gunk out of the works of one of my drills for days. I just hope this wears off sometime soon, because it's really gross carrying the drill around, even if it is only delusional guts.
Excuse me, Mister? I'm glad, I guess, that you got so into my story, but I said that the dormouse said to feed my head, not feed on my head. It's kind've a really important difference, so could you please stop trying to stick that fork in my ear? I mean, I'm trying really hard to be understanding of your circumstances and everything, but this is really pushing it. I'm warning you, I'm not going to put up with this much longer, Mister. Mister? Is the leprosy making your brain rot too?
Oh, heck. Punching that guy's nose off messes up the whole diplomacy thing, doesn't it?
Poll Vote!
Character: Hisui
Series: Tsukihime
Character Age: 18
Canon: Hisui is the younger of the twin maids of the Tohno household. Shielded from their former employer Tohno Makihisa's abuse by her sister Kohaku, she had a far happier childhood and is the more stable of the two. As a child, she was energetic and outgoing, but after her master and close friend Shiki's departure, she became very quiet and reserved. However, underneath her stiff, formal exterior, she is still just a normal girl. In contrast to her devious sister, Hisui is very loyal to those she cares about, particularly Shiki, to whom she is deeply devoted.
On a side note, she's also a terrible cook with rather... interesting taste in ingredients, although she can't imagine why her cooking would turn out badly.
Sample Post:
I admit that I did not, in my childhood, have the opportunity to attend a summer camp; however, on the occasions that the thought entered my mind, I did not envision anything like this. For one thing, it is rather wetter than I expected, to put it mildly. For another, I do not think it is common upon entering a summer camp to have a large tropical bird drop a package at one's feet.
The package proved to contain a shotgun and a note reading as follows:
"Welcome to camp, possibly-twincestuous sibling number... ah, hell, we've lost count (what is it about you people that the Director likes so much, anyway?). Here's your standard-issue camp shotgun- you'll need it. All campers are supposed to be issued a tracksuit too, but we thought that would be a waste of a perfectly good French maid's outfit, so you don't have to have one. You can show your gratitude by getting in the kitchen and making us some sammiches, woman."
I thought that this would be a difficult request to grant with no kitchen in the vicinity, and sandwiches are not my area of expertise... although had I the appropriate facilities and ingredients I could have tried something gourmet, such as crab sandwiches, perhaps with a tabasco garnish... but never mind that. I wanted to offer my apologies to whomever had made the request; however, I did not know who it was, and thus could not. Therefore, I picked up the shotgun- as although I have no use for such a thing, it is never a good idea to leave something so dangerous lying around- and recommenced walking in the direction I had been going. (Strange... as I did, I could have sworn I heard someone say "ungrateful brat," but there was no one around. Perhaps it was simply my own shame.) I continued until I reached this... encampment, I suppose one would call it, although it almost seems more of a village- there are certainly a lot of people here for a summer camp in the autumn. Now, if no one minds, I must inquire: have any of you seen my master, Tohno Shiki-sama? He is slightly younger than myself, has brown hair, and wears glasses-
- ah, no, I do not believe he is a "maid otaku."
Poll Vote!
Character: Son Goku
Series: Dragonball
Character Age: I'm playing Goku as 15, which is how old he is
in between the Red Ribbon Saga and the Tienshinhan Saga. [link]
Canon: When his adoptive grandfather died, young
Goku was pretty much left to his own devices (not bathing, eating
tigers, etc.) up on a little mountain in the middle of nowhere.
Eventually a girl named Bulma almost turned him into roadkill. Goku
destroyed her car, Bulma tried to shoot him -- really sentimental
stuff. She ended up taking Goku with her on her quest to find the
seven legendary Dragonballs (seeing as he already had one, but refused
to let her have it). That kick started the series, and unlike DBZ and
GT, its focus is more on the Dragonballs (fist-sized marbles that,
when gathered, summon a dragon who will grant your wish) and Goku
getting stronger. Instead of, y'know. 20 episode fights and crazy
power trips.
Goku is optimistic, kind, pure-hearted, determined, reckless, a little
clueless, a lot sheltered, and very, very hungry. His special skills
include poking people in the eyes and turning into a homicidal
Chimpzilla whenever he looks at a full moon. His weapon of choice is
his Power Pole, which can extend and cripple as needed, and his usual
mode of transportation is a (very manly!) magical cloud called a
Flying Nimbus.
Sample Post:
Heheh. This is cool! I can see the whole town from up here!
Kinda cold, though. I left my clothes down by the lake after those
moany grabby people ripped 'em all up. I think they're -- yup. Still
walkin' around down there. I don't get what the big deal is, s'not
like they don't have their own peeners t'look at...
Huh. What else...? I gotta keep writin' stuff. That big purple
bear-face monkey guy gets real mad if I'm not makin' any noise with
this lap-box thing. I think I'm s'posed to keep it or somethin',
'cause when I tried to give it back to him he made lotsa crazy animal
noises. So I guess it's like a welcome gift! A super awesome one, too.
I dunno how t'spell half this stuff, but it knows what I'm tryin' to
say and fixes it, just like that!
asdkjlasdeaes
rtkjrsdrfsrer
...Jeez, I guess bear monkeys can tell if I'm just hittin' letters.
What're they made of, anyway? I tried punchin' one earlier, but that
just got him mad. He followed me all the way up to this roof when I
was tryin' to get a look around, an' now everytime I start goin' back
down he screams s'more. But if he's got that much bark, I can't wait
t'see what he fights like!
At first I was kinda worried about gettin' lost all the way out here,
but I bet bein' around these tough bear monkeys'll make me stronger in
no time! Bear monkey... b'monkey? Monear?
I'm gonna wait up here a little longer an' see if my Flying Nimbus
shows up so I can get off this roof. If it doesn't come, though, I
guess I got no choice but to get rid'a this guy! Don't worry, Mister
B'Monkey! I promise I won't hurt you too bad!
Poll Vote!
Character: Mugen
Series: Samurai Champloo
Character Age: 19
Canon: Samurai Champloo is the tale of a girl and her two bodyguards as they
roam Tokugawa Japan in search of the samurai who smells of sunflowers. Along the way they
have encounters with zombies, graffiti taggers, old nemeses, hallucinogenic drugs, and some
truly special foreigners. After all, whoever said anime was historically accurate?
Mugen is recruited to this cause after Fuu helps save him and Jin from execution. But it quickly
becomes obvious that Mugen is - to put it politely - very uncivilized. He fights anyone at any
provocation, doesn't mind beating people up for money, and enjoys being an asshole to everyone
he meets. But he might insult people just because of that; Mugen can't resist an opportunity for
a fight, especially if the opponent promises to be strong. It could be said that his greatest
weakness is a challenge, but since he never holds back at anything - be it fighting,
playing baseball, or eating - he usually wins by sheer tenacity. If you're wondering if he has a
secret compassionate side that adores lost puppies and helps old ladies cross the street... sorry,
but no. But he's got a certain charm and he's not all bad; he just doesn't show it often.
[Note: Mugen is from before the end of the series.]
Sample post:
Shit, I'm lost again.
Because last time I took a piss in the forest, I didn't find zombies. And last time I found
zombies, they were stuck in a pit and not wandering all over the place. It's really fucking creepy
to piss and find some guy's rotting head staring at you, and then staring at your dick, and then
asking, "Can I use that when you're done?" But he gave up when I kicked him in the face.
Che, I was expecting more when I realized this was a foreign village. You want to know how I
can tell? The sign! The writing's not Japanese, so this must be some kind of secret hideout.
Buuuut maybe I was expecting too much; none of the other foreigners were any good, and some
of them were pretty damn weird. Like that religious nut. Or the guy who thought everyone in
Japan was a homo.
If they're like him then I'm leaving, or Fuu's gonna yell again. "Mugen, what were you doing?
Mugen, you're wasting time! Mugen, we have to find the sunflower samurai!" Tch, shut
up! She always takes longer than I do, anyway. But I don't know what's up with everyone
watching me today; first zombies and now birds. I can piss wherever I want! Hell, I
could go down and do it in the town just to see the looks on their faces --
... You know, when you tell me I can't go there, I want to do it just to prove you wrong. And
when you tell me it's reeeeeally hard to get in, that just sounds even better. I'll take you
up on it even if you are a bird. If I only have to kill seventy percent of their guards they'd better
be strong, or it won't be worth my time. Unless there's some kind of treasure hidden
there. Even Fuu can't yell at me when I bring back a lot of money.
So hey! Who do I have to kill first? No, I've got no idea who 'Marcy' is and I don't give a
damn as long as he's strong. Wha-- she? Are you kidding me? I don't kill women
unless they try and kill me first. But that doesn't mean I'm backing down, I'll take her on---
. . .
fuckfuckfuckthisistheworstkinkever
Poll Vote!
Character: Kyon
Series: The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi
Character Age: 15-16
Canon: If you ask Kyon when he stopped believing in Santa Claus, he will say with confidence that he never believed in him at all. Even as a preschooler, he couldn't accept that a grown man could only work on Christmas for a living - and as for aliens, time travelers, or espers, though deep down he wished for those supernatural things to appear, he always knew they weren't real too. By the time Kyon entered high school, he'd grown out of those childlike hopes and accepted reality as reality. Fantastic things didn't exist, the world was governed by physics and logic, and he was an ordinary human whose small life wasn't ever going to change the world.
Then he met Suzumiya Haruhi, and slowly learned he was right about one thing. The "ordinary human" part.
Haruhi enlists Kyon to help her in a quest for the extraordinary, and his realistic take on life is completely upturned. He quickly befriends a stoic bookworm alien, a beautiful time-traveler, and a smooth-operator esper that constantly breaches Kyon's personal bubble. He's dragged - often by his tie - into candid adventures ranging from sexual blackmail to breaking and entering. He even becomes the target of assassination attempts and King Kong-size cave crickets. But Kyon lives through all of this just as he's always lived - with a tolerant sigh, a few winces, and a hell of a lot of rambling, narrative-style dry sarcasm. The opposite of Haruhi, Kyon is laid-back, content with shadowing, easily pushed around, and satisfied with the world as it is. He only says a fraction of what he thinks, but he does speak his mind when he wants to, usually as a voice of reason. Overall, he's an extremely well-adjusted guy. He sure wishes people would stop calling him Kyon, though. Too bad he never actually clarifies his real name.
Sample Post:
If you want the story of how I got here, my first instinct would be to start with the classic phrase, "It was a dark and stormy night."
That would be a lie; it was Sunday afternoon, and the weather was nice. But right now I'm in the middle of the woods, surrounded by zombies, armed with a stick, and seriously horrified. You're supposed to start a story that ends with a character like this with "a dark and stormy night," right? A tried and true pretense for a slow unraveling of reality.
Anyway! ... It was Sunday afternoon and the weather was nice, and I went on the scheduled S.O.S. field trip as planned. "Meet at the train station or heads will roll! Those mysteries are just waiting to be discovered!" Haruhi had announced as usual. In fact, everything about this morning was normal! I paid for my ticket, dozed a bit on the train, arrived at the moment of destiny, and. . .
Nobody was there. The station was abandoned. You could almost hear the cue for a low piano note, or a rising shrill violin. Everything was quiet, until I heard the muffled thump, thump of footsteps behind me. I spun around instantly - please forgive me for losing my mind there and not just running away - and saw a forest. Of all possibilities, a bleak forest wasn't anywhere near what I expected, and at this point in my life I've learned to expect glowing blue giants. But there it was! And here I am. And I've lived in the modern age long enough to know a horde of zombies when I see one.
So it'll only be natural if I find Haruhi is in the middle of it. I can just see it now. Attention, everyone! Suzumiya Haruhi has arrived with her shotgun, infinite ammo at her disposal (of course, she's the lead character), and she's aiming perfect headshots at the swarm of enemies in the name of justice to bring victory to the human race. That's the sort of scene I'll walk in on.
Maybe she's already established herself. "Camp Fuck You Die" is exactly her naming sense, so she probably bullied the director into changing it. It's just as incomprehensible as "S.O.S. Brigade," though I suppose if she really did name the camp, it would be named something like " S.O.Z. - Stop a boring camp experience by Overloading it with Zombies."
This is probably goodbye, boring school year. You were a nice, tranquil haven while you lasted.
character: Kyon
series: Suzumiya Haruhi series of short-novels
character age: 15~17 (the series progresses through high school)
Canon: Kyon, true name never used, is, for all intents and purposes, a normal human high school student. He is cynical and down-to-earth, often displaying a good deal of dry wit, usually in the form of inner monologues. A person of rationale and reason, he is a fairly responsible and levelheaded person, one you can definitely count on. Despite all this, Kyon is unwittingly pulled into the realm of the weird and supernatural, all starting with his very first successful conversation with one Suzumiya Haruhi, who subconsciously has the power to alter reality. As the one "chosen" by Haruhi, he is forced into the SOS Brigade, a "club" of sorts stationed in the school, where he comes into contact with and befriends an alien, a time-traveler, and an esper, all in that order. The sole voice of reason in his group, he often finds himself at wit's end, but ultimately, is vital to the brigade, mainly to keep the world from being destroyed and replaced by Haruhi's subconscious powers, as well as being the only one who can keep her in line (she actually listens to him. occasionally.) Although he frequently complains about Haruhi's eccentric and often ill-thought out schemes, he seems to have a certain fondness for all of the brigade members, especially Haruhi.
sample post:
It is a common element in fiction for a character to be transported to an alternate world or reality. Rather, it is used so often that it has come to the point of being cliche.
'Camp Fuck You Die'?
Oi, cut me a break already. When did my life turn into a cliche work of fiction? Truth be told, this is not how I imagined how I'd be spending my morning. When I went to bed last night, I expected to wake up the next day in bed, possibly being harassed by my sister to get up for breakfast.
Unfortunately, fate decided it needed to mess with my life, as per usual. This has happened before, yes. However, the last several times this happened, there was a major lacking of mechanical cows and talking birds. I'd love nothing more than to dismiss this all as a bizarre dream, but, unfortunately, reality hates me.
Nagato, wherever you are, if you could just zap in here with your weirdo alien magic and save me, I'd really appreciate it. Any time now. I'll even take you to the library. Every day of the week. Please?
I'll even take Koizumi.
Come on. I'm just a normal human. A normal, albeit below-average, high school student with somewhat dismal grades and social life. I'm so completely normal that it's almost depressing. I don't need to be pulled into strange camps with pie-growing-trees and glowing green water. The purple gorillas aren't really helping either.
The strange thing is that everyone seems to know me. Going "Hey Kyon, you're back!" or "Why the hell are you back here you idiot!? Are you insane!?" I'm sorry, but I don't recall making any trips to the Land of Oz recently, although the insanity part may very well be correct. And if you all recognize me, couldn't you at least call me by my real name? Everyone going "Kyon, Kyon!" just makes this ordeal even more depressing, not to mention creepy.
Haruhi, where are you and what did you do? And when did you sign me up for this freaky summer camp from hell, because I definitely don't remember hearing anything about this.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. CLOSED FOR GREAT JUSTICE
Character: Rosette Christopher
Series: Chrno
Crusade
Character Age: 16
Canon: It all begins in the Roaring Twenties, when a
pseudo-religious organization known as the Magdalan Order gathers exorcists
and militia to combat a rising demonic presence throughout the American
continent. In the Order's New York branch, Sister Rosette Christopher and
her demon partner, Chrno, strive to surpass any opposition set in front of
them, erase the horrors of their pasts, and convince their boss to give them
another car. It wasn't like they were aiming for that building
anyway.
Rosette doesn't exactly fit the job description for a nun. Not only does she
swear frequently and perform daily curses rather than daily prayers, but she
routinely points a loaded gun at whatever happens to be bothering,
attacking, and/or groping her at the moment. The lucky ones get away with
physical abuse and screaming. Also, although she has proved herself a very
capable exorcist, she hates to sit back and follow orders. Even if it means
putting herself right in the heart of danger, she wants above all to do what
she wants, not what others tell her to do.
What isn't so easily seen is the great burden Rosette must carry: her life
is steadily being depleted in a contract with Chrno to allow him to live and
fight beside her. Furthermore, she can constantly see the progress of her
death by means of a stopwatch that she wears around her neck. As a result of
this limited lifespan, she decides to live her life to the fullest and make
use of the time she has left. And if anyone else happens to emo, she'll
smack some sense into them.
Sample Post:
Attention, all you lost lambs! This area is now under the jurisdiction of
the Magdalan Order, due to reports of some intense supernatural activity.
Serving you today will be yours truly, Sister Rosette Christopher, and my
assistant, Chr--...wait, where the hell did he go?! Hmph! Well, he's
probably just shy or still sleeping the lazy bastard, so
you'll meet him later. Chrno, wherever you are, I hope you realize that
you're going first into the questionable buildings for this.
Anyway, just sit back, relax, and let me do my job! If you don't comply,
I'll be forced to issue a warning shot. And god help you if you keep
bothering me, because although I may not shove gospel down your throat, I
will fire it directly into your forehead. Understood? Let's see some
nodding, people, you can at least pretend to be excited. Do I have to speak
boonie to you or something? God, I better get a pay raise for this
shit. These people look like they might have inbred a little too
much.
Now, I understand that situations like this can be stressful and confusing.
In light of that, I will be supplying inhabitants with a copy of
Badtouched By An Angel, a holy water spray bottle, and a few
Vatican-approved explosives of your very own! Because if there's anything
that honors our Lord and Savior, it's the bloody chunks of unholy monsters
sailing into the sky. Just don't use them on each other, kids, I already had
to deal with that last week.
So if you see any evidence of demonic activity, just contact me and
I'll--what did I just say about using them on each other? Stop
that right now! You think I'm kidding? Does the gun pointed at your FACE
make it look like I'm kidding?! I don't care if God forgives you, I
won't forgive you!
THAT'S IT, GODDAMMIT! GET OVER HERE SO I CAN AIM PROPERLY, YOU
COWARD! AND DON'T YOU EVEN TRY TO HIDE, 'CAUSE I'LL FIND YOU AND
I'LL--
Don't give me that look, you deserved it! And don't you dare start whining
about it, or the gun is coming out again!
As for the rest of you. Any questions?
What's that? Of course I'm really a nun, why do you ask?
Poll Vote!
Character: Pratty
Series: Summon Night: Swordcraft Story
Character Age: Around 15
Canon: Summon Night: Swordcraft Story is a game following the child of a hero as they try to follow in their father's footsteps. At the beginning of the game you can choose whether the child is a boy or a girl; Pratty is the girl.
The game starts with Pratty being allowed into a tournament to decide who will take her father's place as the Craftlord of Iron. Craftlords are basically blacksmiths who forge especially strong weapons with the help of guardian beasts (Pratty's beast's name is Sugar) summoned from the spirit world, and who rule the city of Wystern where Pratty lives. Victory in the tournament, and making stronger and stronger weapons to achieve that victory, remains Pratty's main focus for most of the game, along with learning more about her father and the events leading to his death.
Pratty is a normal, usually cheerful, girl, although she does have a short temper that mostly shows itself over people intruding on her without permission, acting like they think she's still a child, or insulting her work. She's a little on the dense side, but isn't totally stupid, she just has a bad habit of jumping to conclusions and refusing to let go of them until someone takes the time to sit her down and drill the truth into her head. She's almost always willing to see the good in people, even when they're her enemies, and if she thinks someone has a good side she'll defend them when others insult them no matter what they've done to her in the past.
Note: the only guns in the game are stray summons (its name for random encounter monsters).
Sample Post:
Wow, I can really see why that director woman wrote to say a blacksmith could do good business here. It's awfully brave of so many of you to use stray summons for weapons and all, but aren't you afraid they'll turn around and attack you some day? I guarantee you'll all be so impressed with my work that you'll never need to touch them again! I can make you a sword so light that there's no chance the weight of it will make your arm fall off, which, um, kind've looks like the sort've thing some of you might need to worry about, if you don't mind me saying so. Don't worry! I understand that people with leprosy need to defend themselves too, and will not discriminate against you! Ha! And some of the people in town thought I was too young to be diplomatic.
I've never been on a sell totally on my own before, but, let's see, I think the first thing I'm supposed to do is go see the person who called me out here. That's good, because there's already something I need to talk to her about aside from that. Did you all know that someone is growing hallucinogenic mushrooms in your woods? I mean, not that I want to accuse anyone here of breaking the law or anything; I'm sure you're all very good and law-abiding people! And I can totally understand why people in your, um, conditions might want to take something to make you forget about the real world for a while if you... weren't.
But, see, you might not want to leave them growing around like normal mushrooms, because it was a long walk from the last town to here, and I was really hungry by the time I was done with it so when I saw them growing I thought I'd have a snack. Then, before I could eat them, this cute little dormouse ran up and I thought it started talking to me! It kept saying "Feed your head. Feed your head," and when I was little my mom warned me to watch out for strange people offering me strange mushrooms, but she never told me that they could make you hallucinate just by touching them! Of course I dropped them right away, and then it got even weirder because the dormouse ran up and ate part of one and, well, it's a really good thing that it was all in my head, because if it wasn't I'd be cleaning giant-mouse gunk out of the works of one of my drills for days. I just hope this wears off sometime soon, because it's really gross carrying the drill around, even if it is only delusional guts.
Excuse me, Mister? I'm glad, I guess, that you got so into my story, but I said that the dormouse said to feed my head, not feed on my head. It's kind've a really important difference, so could you please stop trying to stick that fork in my ear? I mean, I'm trying really hard to be understanding of your circumstances and everything, but this is really pushing it. I'm warning you, I'm not going to put up with this much longer, Mister. Mister? Is the leprosy making your brain rot too?
Oh, heck. Punching that guy's nose off messes up the whole diplomacy thing, doesn't it?
Poll Vote!
Character: Hisui
Series: Tsukihime
Character Age: 18
Canon: Hisui is the younger of the twin maids of the Tohno household. Shielded from their former employer Tohno Makihisa's abuse by her sister Kohaku, she had a far happier childhood and is the more stable of the two. As a child, she was energetic and outgoing, but after her master and close friend Shiki's departure, she became very quiet and reserved. However, underneath her stiff, formal exterior, she is still just a normal girl. In contrast to her devious sister, Hisui is very loyal to those she cares about, particularly Shiki, to whom she is deeply devoted.
On a side note, she's also a terrible cook with rather... interesting taste in ingredients, although she can't imagine why her cooking would turn out badly.
Sample Post:
I admit that I did not, in my childhood, have the opportunity to attend a summer camp; however, on the occasions that the thought entered my mind, I did not envision anything like this. For one thing, it is rather wetter than I expected, to put it mildly. For another, I do not think it is common upon entering a summer camp to have a large tropical bird drop a package at one's feet.
The package proved to contain a shotgun and a note reading as follows:
"Welcome to camp, possibly-twincestuous sibling number... ah, hell, we've lost count (what is it about you people that the Director likes so much, anyway?). Here's your standard-issue camp shotgun- you'll need it. All campers are supposed to be issued a tracksuit too, but we thought that would be a waste of a perfectly good French maid's outfit, so you don't have to have one. You can show your gratitude by getting in the kitchen and making us some sammiches, woman."
I thought that this would be a difficult request to grant with no kitchen in the vicinity, and sandwiches are not my area of expertise... although had I the appropriate facilities and ingredients I could have tried something gourmet, such as crab sandwiches, perhaps with a tabasco garnish... but never mind that. I wanted to offer my apologies to whomever had made the request; however, I did not know who it was, and thus could not. Therefore, I picked up the shotgun- as although I have no use for such a thing, it is never a good idea to leave something so dangerous lying around- and recommenced walking in the direction I had been going. (Strange... as I did, I could have sworn I heard someone say "ungrateful brat," but there was no one around. Perhaps it was simply my own shame.) I continued until I reached this... encampment, I suppose one would call it, although it almost seems more of a village- there are certainly a lot of people here for a summer camp in the autumn. Now, if no one minds, I must inquire: have any of you seen my master, Tohno Shiki-sama? He is slightly younger than myself, has brown hair, and wears glasses-
- ah, no, I do not believe he is a "maid otaku."
Poll Vote!
Character: Son Goku
Series: Dragonball
Character Age: I'm playing Goku as 15, which is how old he is
in between the Red Ribbon Saga and the Tienshinhan Saga. [link]
Canon: When his adoptive grandfather died, young
Goku was pretty much left to his own devices (not bathing, eating
tigers, etc.) up on a little mountain in the middle of nowhere.
Eventually a girl named Bulma almost turned him into roadkill. Goku
destroyed her car, Bulma tried to shoot him -- really sentimental
stuff. She ended up taking Goku with her on her quest to find the
seven legendary Dragonballs (seeing as he already had one, but refused
to let her have it). That kick started the series, and unlike DBZ and
GT, its focus is more on the Dragonballs (fist-sized marbles that,
when gathered, summon a dragon who will grant your wish) and Goku
getting stronger. Instead of, y'know. 20 episode fights and crazy
power trips.
Goku is optimistic, kind, pure-hearted, determined, reckless, a little
clueless, a lot sheltered, and very, very hungry. His special skills
include poking people in the eyes and turning into a homicidal
Chimpzilla whenever he looks at a full moon. His weapon of choice is
his Power Pole, which can extend and cripple as needed, and his usual
mode of transportation is a (very manly!) magical cloud called a
Flying Nimbus.
Sample Post:
Heheh. This is cool! I can see the whole town from up here!
Kinda cold, though. I left my clothes down by the lake after those
moany grabby people ripped 'em all up. I think they're -- yup. Still
walkin' around down there. I don't get what the big deal is, s'not
like they don't have their own peeners t'look at...
Huh. What else...? I gotta keep writin' stuff. That big purple
bear-face monkey guy gets real mad if I'm not makin' any noise with
this lap-box thing. I think I'm s'posed to keep it or somethin',
'cause when I tried to give it back to him he made lotsa crazy animal
noises. So I guess it's like a welcome gift! A super awesome one, too.
I dunno how t'spell half this stuff, but it knows what I'm tryin' to
say and fixes it, just like that!
asdkjlasdeaes
rtkjrsdrfsrer
...Jeez, I guess bear monkeys can tell if I'm just hittin' letters.
What're they made of, anyway? I tried punchin' one earlier, but that
just got him mad. He followed me all the way up to this roof when I
was tryin' to get a look around, an' now everytime I start goin' back
down he screams s'more. But if he's got that much bark, I can't wait
t'see what he fights like!
At first I was kinda worried about gettin' lost all the way out here,
but I bet bein' around these tough bear monkeys'll make me stronger in
no time! Bear monkey... b'monkey? Monear?
I'm gonna wait up here a little longer an' see if my Flying Nimbus
shows up so I can get off this roof. If it doesn't come, though, I
guess I got no choice but to get rid'a this guy! Don't worry, Mister
B'Monkey! I promise I won't hurt you too bad!
Poll Vote!
Character: Mugen
Series: Samurai Champloo
Character Age: 19
Canon: Samurai Champloo is the tale of a girl and her two bodyguards as they
roam Tokugawa Japan in search of the samurai who smells of sunflowers. Along the way they
have encounters with zombies, graffiti taggers, old nemeses, hallucinogenic drugs, and some
truly special foreigners. After all, whoever said anime was historically accurate?
Mugen is recruited to this cause after Fuu helps save him and Jin from execution. But it quickly
becomes obvious that Mugen is - to put it politely - very uncivilized. He fights anyone at any
provocation, doesn't mind beating people up for money, and enjoys being an asshole to everyone
he meets. But he might insult people just because of that; Mugen can't resist an opportunity for
a fight, especially if the opponent promises to be strong. It could be said that his greatest
weakness is a challenge, but since he never holds back at anything - be it fighting,
playing baseball, or eating - he usually wins by sheer tenacity. If you're wondering if he has a
secret compassionate side that adores lost puppies and helps old ladies cross the street... sorry,
but no. But he's got a certain charm and he's not all bad; he just doesn't show it often.
[Note: Mugen is from before the end of the series.]
Sample post:
Shit, I'm lost again.
Because last time I took a piss in the forest, I didn't find zombies. And last time I found
zombies, they were stuck in a pit and not wandering all over the place. It's really fucking creepy
to piss and find some guy's rotting head staring at you, and then staring at your dick, and then
asking, "Can I use that when you're done?" But he gave up when I kicked him in the face.
Che, I was expecting more when I realized this was a foreign village. You want to know how I
can tell? The sign! The writing's not Japanese, so this must be some kind of secret hideout.
Buuuut maybe I was expecting too much; none of the other foreigners were any good, and some
of them were pretty damn weird. Like that religious nut. Or the guy who thought everyone in
Japan was a homo.
If they're like him then I'm leaving, or Fuu's gonna yell again. "Mugen, what were you doing?
Mugen, you're wasting time! Mugen, we have to find the sunflower samurai!" Tch, shut
up! She always takes longer than I do, anyway. But I don't know what's up with everyone
watching me today; first zombies and now birds. I can piss wherever I want! Hell, I
could go down and do it in the town just to see the looks on their faces --
... You know, when you tell me I can't go there, I want to do it just to prove you wrong. And
when you tell me it's reeeeeally hard to get in, that just sounds even better. I'll take you
up on it even if you are a bird. If I only have to kill seventy percent of their guards they'd better
be strong, or it won't be worth my time. Unless there's some kind of treasure hidden
there. Even Fuu can't yell at me when I bring back a lot of money.
So hey! Who do I have to kill first? No, I've got no idea who 'Marcy' is and I don't give a
damn as long as he's strong. Wha-- she? Are you kidding me? I don't kill women
unless they try and kill me first. But that doesn't mean I'm backing down, I'll take her on---
. . .
fuckfuckfuckthisistheworstkinkever
Poll Vote!
Character: Kyon
Series: The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi
Character Age: 15-16
Canon: If you ask Kyon when he stopped believing in Santa Claus, he will say with confidence that he never believed in him at all. Even as a preschooler, he couldn't accept that a grown man could only work on Christmas for a living - and as for aliens, time travelers, or espers, though deep down he wished for those supernatural things to appear, he always knew they weren't real too. By the time Kyon entered high school, he'd grown out of those childlike hopes and accepted reality as reality. Fantastic things didn't exist, the world was governed by physics and logic, and he was an ordinary human whose small life wasn't ever going to change the world.
Then he met Suzumiya Haruhi, and slowly learned he was right about one thing. The "ordinary human" part.
Haruhi enlists Kyon to help her in a quest for the extraordinary, and his realistic take on life is completely upturned. He quickly befriends a stoic bookworm alien, a beautiful time-traveler, and a smooth-operator esper that constantly breaches Kyon's personal bubble. He's dragged - often by his tie - into candid adventures ranging from sexual blackmail to breaking and entering. He even becomes the target of assassination attempts and King Kong-size cave crickets. But Kyon lives through all of this just as he's always lived - with a tolerant sigh, a few winces, and a hell of a lot of rambling, narrative-style dry sarcasm. The opposite of Haruhi, Kyon is laid-back, content with shadowing, easily pushed around, and satisfied with the world as it is. He only says a fraction of what he thinks, but he does speak his mind when he wants to, usually as a voice of reason. Overall, he's an extremely well-adjusted guy. He sure wishes people would stop calling him Kyon, though. Too bad he never actually clarifies his real name.
Sample Post:
If you want the story of how I got here, my first instinct would be to start with the classic phrase, "It was a dark and stormy night."
That would be a lie; it was Sunday afternoon, and the weather was nice. But right now I'm in the middle of the woods, surrounded by zombies, armed with a stick, and seriously horrified. You're supposed to start a story that ends with a character like this with "a dark and stormy night," right? A tried and true pretense for a slow unraveling of reality.
Anyway! ... It was Sunday afternoon and the weather was nice, and I went on the scheduled S.O.S. field trip as planned. "Meet at the train station or heads will roll! Those mysteries are just waiting to be discovered!" Haruhi had announced as usual. In fact, everything about this morning was normal! I paid for my ticket, dozed a bit on the train, arrived at the moment of destiny, and. . .
Nobody was there. The station was abandoned. You could almost hear the cue for a low piano note, or a rising shrill violin. Everything was quiet, until I heard the muffled thump, thump of footsteps behind me. I spun around instantly - please forgive me for losing my mind there and not just running away - and saw a forest. Of all possibilities, a bleak forest wasn't anywhere near what I expected, and at this point in my life I've learned to expect glowing blue giants. But there it was! And here I am. And I've lived in the modern age long enough to know a horde of zombies when I see one.
So it'll only be natural if I find Haruhi is in the middle of it. I can just see it now. Attention, everyone! Suzumiya Haruhi has arrived with her shotgun, infinite ammo at her disposal (of course, she's the lead character), and she's aiming perfect headshots at the swarm of enemies in the name of justice to bring victory to the human race. That's the sort of scene I'll walk in on.
Maybe she's already established herself. "Camp Fuck You Die" is exactly her naming sense, so she probably bullied the director into changing it. It's just as incomprehensible as "S.O.S. Brigade," though I suppose if she really did name the camp, it would be named something like " S.O.Z. - Stop a boring camp experience by Overloading it with Zombies."
This is probably goodbye, boring school year. You were a nice, tranquil haven while you lasted.
character: Kyon
series: Suzumiya Haruhi series of short-novels
character age: 15~17 (the series progresses through high school)
Canon: Kyon, true name never used, is, for all intents and purposes, a normal human high school student. He is cynical and down-to-earth, often displaying a good deal of dry wit, usually in the form of inner monologues. A person of rationale and reason, he is a fairly responsible and levelheaded person, one you can definitely count on. Despite all this, Kyon is unwittingly pulled into the realm of the weird and supernatural, all starting with his very first successful conversation with one Suzumiya Haruhi, who subconsciously has the power to alter reality. As the one "chosen" by Haruhi, he is forced into the SOS Brigade, a "club" of sorts stationed in the school, where he comes into contact with and befriends an alien, a time-traveler, and an esper, all in that order. The sole voice of reason in his group, he often finds himself at wit's end, but ultimately, is vital to the brigade, mainly to keep the world from being destroyed and replaced by Haruhi's subconscious powers, as well as being the only one who can keep her in line (she actually listens to him. occasionally.) Although he frequently complains about Haruhi's eccentric and often ill-thought out schemes, he seems to have a certain fondness for all of the brigade members, especially Haruhi.
sample post:
It is a common element in fiction for a character to be transported to an alternate world or reality. Rather, it is used so often that it has come to the point of being cliche.
'Camp Fuck You Die'?
Oi, cut me a break already. When did my life turn into a cliche work of fiction? Truth be told, this is not how I imagined how I'd be spending my morning. When I went to bed last night, I expected to wake up the next day in bed, possibly being harassed by my sister to get up for breakfast.
Unfortunately, fate decided it needed to mess with my life, as per usual. This has happened before, yes. However, the last several times this happened, there was a major lacking of mechanical cows and talking birds. I'd love nothing more than to dismiss this all as a bizarre dream, but, unfortunately, reality hates me.
Nagato, wherever you are, if you could just zap in here with your weirdo alien magic and save me, I'd really appreciate it. Any time now. I'll even take you to the library. Every day of the week. Please?
I'll even take Koizumi.
Come on. I'm just a normal human. A normal, albeit below-average, high school student with somewhat dismal grades and social life. I'm so completely normal that it's almost depressing. I don't need to be pulled into strange camps with pie-growing-trees and glowing green water. The purple gorillas aren't really helping either.
The strange thing is that everyone seems to know me. Going "Hey Kyon, you're back!" or "Why the hell are you back here you idiot!? Are you insane!?" I'm sorry, but I don't recall making any trips to the Land of Oz recently, although the insanity part may very well be correct. And if you all recognize me, couldn't you at least call me by my real name? Everyone going "Kyon, Kyon!" just makes this ordeal even more depressing, not to mention creepy.
Haruhi, where are you and what did you do? And when did you sign me up for this freaky summer camp from hell, because I definitely don't remember hearing anything about this.
Poll Vote!