counselor apps, batch #1
A big, long note on the applications that no, I am not cutting:
We received a ton of apps for counselors, and in the end, we set our limit at 40 to go to vote. This is roughly twice the number that we posted the last time, and is due to the fact that counselors went over quite well then. We had a lot of good apps, and a lot of excellent apps. This made weeding insanely hard.
When we weeded, we looked for a few things. First, follow the format. Did you follow the format that was posted in Biz's mod post? Did you make mention of the camp and campers? If you didn't, it was an auto-weed. Second, grammar and punctuation. Did you take the time to smooth out your app so it read well? Were there any glaring errors? If there were quite a few, we weeded. Third, activity, and this is a huge one. We had a bunch of counselors accepted last time, and quite a few ended up dropping. When we read the apps, we considered things such as, "how long will this character last in camp? Is it feasible for someone to really play this character for an extended period of time?" And so on and so forth. There were quite a few weeded on this one, sad to say. You had to have a really kickass app to jump that hurdle with a gimmick-y character. Fourth, the luster. Did your application stand out? If it made us laugh, it was an in. If it was just kinda bland, just kinda there... we weeded it.
I'm detailing this all now because we weeded quite a few apps, and there's no way either of us is going to be able to go over each and every one with all of this. If you are weeded, you'll be directed to this post with the general reasonings. Unfortunately, we are not available for elaborating further on it. Please don't e-mail us or ping us in IRC regarding counselor apps. It was a tough decision, we had to deliberate quite a bit, and that's how it ended up being what it was.
At the moment, we're still working on finalizing the apps that are going to go to vote. Those who were weeded will be informed by Sunday evening. Please do not ask us about the status of your application. We will let you know.
Remember!
- Appers, if you're going to respond to comments, post anon.
- The job section was more of a guideline this time. Keep in mind that it was more of a suggestion than anything concrete. ♥
- ... apologies to those who saw the other post. Notepad screwed up some formatting, dsjahdjas.
Now VOTE. Now closed!
Character: Ishida Ryuuken
Series: Bleach
Job Idea:Camp Doctor/First Aid/Health Instructor type person
Canon: Ryuuken is Uryuu's father and the head of Karakura Town Hospital. He is a Quincy with powers that were passed down to him by Souken, his father and Uryuu's grandfather. Despite the fact that he is extremely powerful, he once told Uryuu that he chose not to live as a Quincy because there was no profit to be gained from it. Ryuuken has one special thing in his life and is willing to do anything to protect it. To others, he appears as a very cold, serious person and is probably just as socially inept as his son. Other than that, very little is known about him.
Campers:
My name is Ishida Ryuuken and, apparently, I am to be the new camp doctor. Why I was chosen out of all people because it is not like I do not already run an entire hospital is beyond me. I was told that it was extremely urgent too. This I do not understand. How much medical care can one summer camp possibly need? A few scraped knees, a broken bone or two perhaps. You children cannot possibly get into that much trouble. But since this is my job, I will fulfill it to the best of my abilities. If you have any illnesses, profuse bleeding or anything that could be deemed potentially life-threatening, please do not hesitate to call on me. I assure you that I am more than qualified.
However, I have a few guidelines that I sincerely suggest you adhere to.
1. I will not tolerate any insolence.
2. Do not expect sympathy, for I will not give it. The end result was more than likely deserved.
3. Do not expect special treatment. For any questions you might have on this see #2.
4. Do not go anywhere near my medical equipment, books or any of my belongings. There will be dire consequences if you do.
I also have a few concerns of my own that I believe should be addressed. Upon my exploration of the camp a number of the oddest things have tried to attack me. These include, but are not limited to, a tentacle monster of which I was positive no such thing existed and some sort of aquatic creature that looked like this. It tried to eat my shoe and seems to have an affinity for leather. I have also noticed that the gorillas are purple. Purple. Please tell me the gorillas are not purple. These things have been most disconcerting and I am not quite sure how to go about dealing with them. Any Cabernet Sauvignon insight that one could provide would be much appreciated.
That being said, Uryuu, I am sure that you are more than likely a bit upset with me at the moment. I assure you that this was not in any way planned or intentional on my part. Although since we are now apparently going to be near each other for an undetermined period of time, I would like us to act at least civil to one another. I would really rather not have you causing any scenes with unnecessary outbursts. And please tell me that you are still not wearing that ridiculously silly white outfit with the cape. You're turning into a grown man. I would assume that you would have at least learned how to dress yourself properly by now.
Poll Vote!
Character: Tsunade
Series: Naruto
Job Idea: Camp nurse.
Canon: Tsunade is among the most gifted kunoichi and med-nin ever, as well as being considered one of the most beautiful women of her generation. She's also a vulgar, vain, jaded, foul tempered gambler. In her fifties, she uses her knowledge of jutsu to maintain the appearance of a much younger woman, which she's been known to alter at need to escape her debt collectors--for Tsunade is not only a gambler, she's the Legendary Sucker. She has neither skill, nor luck, and the only times she's won a bet in canon, it's been used as an ill omen.
And Tsunade is Godaime Hokage, the leader of the Leaf village, because underneath the vices, the disappointments, and the hard life, Tsunade is still a dedicated, responsible woman.
Oh, this is ridiculous. Godaime fucking Hokage, stuck here. What's next? Babysitting? Running a fucking daycare? I can see it now - the little ghoul babies toddling around demanding up, or a toy, or blood, or whateverthehellitis monster brats would want. Smart money probably says there's not a pachinko parlor in miles. Or a liquor store. Too bad, 'cause right about now, I could drink 'til I lactate whiskey...
...
I hope Shizune isn't too swamped without me.
Listen up, kids. Campers. Whatever. I have a hangover headache, so I'm only going to say this once. It won't be my problem if you miss it.
Apparently someone, to whom I was perhaps a little indebted, discovered that she's required to have at least one female counselor, in case any of the girls had "delicate issues" to discuss. One thing led to another, led to a couple of bent-nosed gorillas at my door. I couldn't exactly say no or sneak off into the night on this one, so, here I am. I'll be your new nurse. Can you feel my joy?
And, shit, all of you should be old enough to take care of yourselves, so don't come to me asking about your girl problems. We've all been there. Go to the goddamn store, buy some pads and painkillers, and get over yourself. You can bitch to me when you're menopausal. It looks like I'll already have more than enough work without offering moral support to a bunch of brats who can't cope with being on the rag.
As for the boys, I'll only treat you for wrist strain once. After that, you're on your own. I have more important things to do, and you better believe I have more important places to be. I'll be there just as soon as I have this minor little IOU cleared up.
Uuuh.
All right, since I don't know most of you, I'm Tsunade. Remember to show a bit of respect, and we should get along just fine.
Poll Vote!
Character: Robert "Granddad" Freeman
Series: The Boondocks (( LJ
Community)) ((Official Site
Job Idea: Obligatory Angry Old Man Recreation Supervisor
Canon: Robert Freeman, aka Granddad, moved to
the suburbs of Chicago (ie, the Boondocks) with his
grandchildren Huey and Riley, in hopes of living out
his years of retirement in a quiet, safe neighborhood
(Unfortunately this is impossible seeing his
grandchildren consist of an 8-year old wannabe thug
and an angry 10 year old bitter towards the world).
Like many old people, he's prone to believing
whatever's on the news, fails
at the internet, remembering about the 'old days',
and making his grandkids run all the way downstairs to
hand him the remote control. While he's quick to whip
out his belt when they get out of line, Granddad
really cares for his family and does his best to raise
them right. though he fails at explaining certain
subjects like alternate
lifestyles. In his freetime, Grandad enjoys
sleeping,playing Grand
Theft Auto III, and watching videos of the
booty-shaking variety on BET. The Boondocks in general
is a political comic strip that pokes fun at
everything from Bush to SARS to bad rap videos and
McDonalds.
Dang kids best be grateful I'm goin' through all this
trouble. Thought my working days were over but nope,
crazy chillins gotta always have someone watchin' over
them even at some darn summer camp. Heh, you
thought I was playin' didn't you Riley? Keep actin' up
I'mma send you here AND to Michael Jackson's
house!
Look at them, all moanin' and gruntin', skin falling
off. Bet that's the new "in" thing nowadays. What's so
great about decaying skin? In my day you were lucky
that only your teeth decayed, but then you get
toothaches and they hurt to high heaven I tells ya.
'Xactly what am I suppose to be teachin' these
chillins? They need to learn to sit their
hyper-active behinds down and take up a hobby. Like
BINGO. We got bingo here? No good self-respectin'
director would have a camp without BINGO night. We got
a lake view an' everything. Set it all up and be
yellin' BINGO, that'd be a dang pretty sight. Even got
ducks in the lake. Never seen a duck with teeth before
but them's better than chicken. Chicken on a farm will
hunt you down and cut you. Granddad knows this.
... what's with these here laptops? Bad enough that
the big computers take up the whole desk but now they
wanna be in your lap. See we didn't have no
fancy technology like this when I went to camp
an- what's that? Shoot the duck win a million dollars?
WHOO BOY GRANDDAD DONE GOT LUCKY! Heheh, and them boys
back home waste their money on lotto tickets. This
here internet gives ya FREE money! Hold still you li'l
bugger, Granddad's gonna shoot you... viagra?
Where's my money?
Poll Vote!
Character: Shiouji Gojyou
Series: Excel Saga (Anime/manga) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Excel_Saga)
Job Idea: Babysitter Youth Counselor/Handyman
Canon: Professor Shiouji Gojyou is a man of "refined" sensibilities, having "sophisticated" hobbies and "excellent" taste. You kind of get that way when your parents were geniuses, you are a genius, your father disappears and your mother is almost certifiable (okay, she's not that bad, really.) You know, after all that? The lolicon thing doesn't sound that bad after all, does it? For official clarification - Shiouji likes to watch them little girls. He'll make an exception if (and only if) a woman hasn't been totally hit by the puberty Mack Truck. You know how those refined sensibilities are.
Anyway. Shiouji is brilliant and utterly dedicated to his research. Creator of robots and other fun things. He can wax poetic about his true loves and he is ever in pursuit of his missing father's ideal! He enjoys good, intelligent conversation, can always make time for the children (of course!) but he can get impatient (while still being quite honest - he's always honest!) with those who test his limits like his cosplaying cousin who has an insane crush on him while still being polite. His work never fails to enchant him and he desires perfection in his creations whenever possible! Oh yes. Sprinklings of random French are very much normal for our good Professor.
PS: Don't forget the lolicon! The lolicon is all encompassing. Although he has never actually done anything to someone under-aged ever episode 26 not withstanding! General impression is: Shiouji likes to watch. ...And download pr0n and play dating sims. Leaving the beautiful flowers unsullied. To protect the ideal and pure! [Insert another phrase to romanticize the lolicon here!]
Hello! It is I, Shiouji Gojyou, Ph.D., Sc.D, with so much L.O.V.E, and I am most pleased to make your acquaintances! If you have any pronunciation problems with my name, you are of course most welcome to refer to me as Professor! (I direct that to all the petites mademoiselles at camp, of course! And even the not so petite, depending upon the situation!)
Dear Madam Director! I would ask why I am here, but I am certain that I already know. Don't I, Mother? Or perhaps not! I would generally assume that only my distraught mother (due to my Father's disappearance), would ever think up such a devious plan to find him - or perhaps allow me to find him! (Although, having traveled all the way from Fukuoka to Illinois, I would have expected your message at your office to say something far more ambiguous than "GOJYOU-CHAN~! COME TO LOUISIANA AND MAKE NICE FRIENDS ♥" Oh Mother. Really now.) Regardless of who you are, madam, that certainly will not deter me from having any fun, will it? Certainement NON!
Therefore, I, Shiouji Gojyou, am at your service! If you have any problems, please come to me, and the Professor will do his utmost to solve your problems, be it physical, mental, or electronic (after all, I am a genius!) I'm sorry, if you are mostly decomposing and rotting flesh, I can't help you! I can create cybernetic human shaped bodies, but biology is certainly not my forte! Perhaps the toucans would like some laser beams attached to their heads? Hmm? Mm?
Aah! So, summer camp, is it? To be technical, it is autumn, but I suppose I can overlook that because of all the wonderful, spry young children. The young, fragrant blooms of spring! Oh, the summer! May they yet stay on the cusp of flowering! The healthy, rosy glow on their cheeks! The shorts! Need I say more? So... Where are my little darlings? Hmm. Very curious. I would have expected a camp population to be of youngsters, but I see I am to be sorely disappointed. In ways that I cannot completely express in words. This is far from a perfect Summer Camp. Obviously in many ways, but this way is surely the most important. That, and the lack of a nice park bench to sit upon and watch- er. I really like to watch. Mother, Camp Director, you are most cruel!
... I am looking forward to working with you all, in whichever capacity is necessary of me!
Poll Vote!
Character: Izumi Curtis
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist (manga)
Job Idea: Camp Cook
Canon: Put simply, Izumi Curtis is an loving, angry ninja housewife alchemist. If you can call that simple. Some years ago, she tried to have a child, and basically, it didn’t work out; she got sick, the baby didn’t make it, and she became infertile. Even though it wasn’t her fault, she blamed herself, and never really got over the guilt. This led to her attempt at human transmutation, to revive the baby, which went about as well as having the baby in the first place. Except human transmutation comes at a great cost; just as Ed sacrificed an arm and a leg, Izumi lost some of her internal organs. Because of this, she has a very persistent medical condition in which she will literally SPEW blood from her mouth. Usually this happens when she is in a stressful situation and/or overexerts herself, ranging anywhere from a long fight to the use of alchemy. She also seems to have the uncanny ability to do it at just the right moment to creep people out. Izumi can also, like Ed and Al, perform alchemy without the use of an alchemical array.
In fact, Izumi is the woman who made Ed and Al the alchemists and fighters they are today. Though she has officially dismissed their relationship as Master and Students, she considers them members of her family--the sons she never had, if you will. She can and will, however, beat the crap out of anyone (but ESPECIALLY Ed and Al) without any warning for doing something stupid or standing against her. Just remember folks, she does this because she cares. It probably won’t be long before campers start wondering if she’s actually the camp director, if I may be so bold as to say so. What with the liberal appliance of violence, and all.
…So this is where my idiot students disappeared to, hmm? I really thought I wouldn’t have to come save them now that they’re growing up, but here I am. As much as I hate that Edward has become a dog of the military, he certain makes a lot of news. It’s a good way to keep track of him. But he’s basically disappeared these past few months, so I figured I’d track him down.
While I was on the train, an attendant delivered this letter to me:
“Dear Sir or Madam:
We are pleased to inform you that our previous camp cook, Former Employee’s Name, is no longer able to continue performing their services, as he or she has been eaten by the very meal they cooked. This means that this ‘prestigious’ and ‘fulfilling’ job is now available for you; we will be ‘honored’ to see you here at Camp Name Here for the position shortly.
See you soon,
Your Name”
Normally, I would have simply ripped the letter up and thrown it away, but by the time I was done reading it…I seem to have arrived at this camp. Luckily, it sounds like I would’ve been heading here eventually anyway; Ed and Al have, as usual, been causing quite a ruckus, and I wasn’t here long before I started hearing about them.
I’ve got to give them credit; I’d say that the fact that they’re stuck here is a clear sign that they haven’t been training enough and therefore deserve to be thoroughly thrashed, but this place is even worse than when I trained on Mount Blix.
In any case, I guess I’m supposed to be your new cook. But to be frank, I’m not interested in spending all my time pampering a bunch of whelps. I’m just here to get my family.
So I’ll put it this way: give me Edward and Alphonse Elric, unharmed, or I won’t hesitate to obliterate everything here.
hurk-fjkdla;
…These laptop things better be able to work fine after being covered in blood, or this is going to get difficult.
Poll Vote!
Character: Gilbert Dullindal
Series: Gundam SEED Destiny
Job Idea: Career Advisor
Canon: (Heavy spoilers for the end of GSD. Consider yourselves thoroughly
warned)
Gilbert Dullindal is Lacus's and Athrun's fathers' successor as the
chairman of PLANT. As such, he's one of the most influential
characters of SEED Destiny - and also one of the most manipulative.
Though initially appearing as a "good guy" in contrast to the evil
organization LOGOS, Dullindal's scheming bid for power becomes more
evident as the series continues: he uses Meer Campbell to snatch
Lacus's influence, manipulates global public opinion against all of
his enemies, and, ultimately, attempts to launch the "Destiny Plan",
which would give him more or less complete control over daily life
everywhere.
The Clyne Faction (Lacus, Kira, Athrun, Cagalli, etc.) doesn't
really take to the idea of Dullindal as the conductor of the
genetic orchestra and, hence, waltzes in and destroys the
Requiem, which is more or less Dullindal's mighty genocide cannon
aimed at Cagalli's homeland. Requiem goes boom in the mighty pink
fog of Seed explosions [tm], leaving only his throne the
control room intact. All his plans are thwarted when his beloved
clone boy, Rey, shoots him for Kira's sake. Gil dies.
Citizens of Camp Fuck You Die,
It has come to my attention that not once in the history of this noble
camp has anyone attempted to provide you with options for your further
career - your education is suffering the more time you spend here and
your personal growth is stunted. You spend your time fighting various
threats and each other, but no thought is spared for whatever you will
do after your release. Will you continue to waste your potential or
will you try to enhance yourself? Remain as mediocre human beings or
make the best of what nature has given you?
For those of you who acknowledge your limitations and potential,
I offer my services as a... career advisor. I will listen to your
thoughts and aspirations and then provide you with a variety of options
according to your unique talents. The Camp Director ensured me she will
provide me with all necessary instruments to prepare you for your future
career.
I will be offering weekly one-on-one sessions for everyone who's interested
- I am hopeful that more private surroundings will help you to realize
your strengths and weaknesses and admit to them.
As things are going, there seems to be quite a lot of potential going to
waste. At the PLANTs, these zombies would be used against a common enemy,
but in these surroundings, their considerable talents are being ignored.
They might seem to be unsuited to anything but shuffling menacingly, but
even in their low intelligence they still can be used for manual labour.
Their potential is just there to be explored, to be tamed and employed,
and I find it to be a tragedy that this potential is ignored day after
day, as our potential allies are thoughtlessly wasted as target practice.
But the time to bring an end to this has come - the zombies and you, the
campers, should be able to coexist peacefully, in a brave new world free
of conflict!
Lastly, in a very private note - if you happen to have seen or spoken
to a camper by the name of Rey Za Burrel, please inform me of his
whereabouts. We need to talk.
Poll Vote!
Character: Arsène Lupin III
Series: Lupin III (http://www.lupinencyclopedia.com)
Job Idea: In charge of the Lost and Found.
Canon: If you get a letter from Lupin (not to be confused with a certain werewolf from a certain book series that may or may not rhyme with Gary Spotter), you may as well kiss your stuff goodbye-the international thief has the uncanny ability to obtain almost any item he sets his sights on. Many have tried to capture him, but somehow he always manages to escape and live to steal another day. It’s no big surprise then that he tends to be rather cocky most of the time. This skilled crook has a rather common weakness though; he’s a huge pervert and is a sucker for a beautiful woman. Hence the treasures he works so hard to obtain are usually lost in seconds flat when he crosses the path of his occasional lover and rival, the female thief Fujiko Mine.
Ok, to whoever designed that damn barrier: I can’t decide if I love you or hate you. While I’m not too happy with the fact that everything from hi-tech fiddling to poking it with a twig has failed to help me figure it out, a part of me is thrilled to be challenged. I can’t remember the last time I had this much trouble breaking out of a place. That barrier seems impenetrable.
Much to my dismay, according to the rules, so are the women around here. Oh, cruel fate!
At any rate, since it seems I’ll be stuck around here for awhile I guess I might as well go along with this counselor shtick. I’m not used to working with kids, but considering my associates back home are always calling me childish I think we’ll get along swimmingly. I'll bet I'd be a pretty good mentor, what with my vast 'work' experience and all. I'll teach 'em the kind of important stuff the educational system foolishy leaves out! We'll start with what to do if you ever find yourself in the position to save the world from a giant evil brain, and then from there move on to the finer points of constructing realistic dummies to replace yourself with to trick dumb prison guards. You can argue that the chances of being in either of those situations is slim to nil, but I say it beats the hell out of making birdhouses out of popsicle sticks.
So feel free to come and visit your Uncle Lupin, kids! Uh… but you pretty boys really need to wear “Hello! I’m a male!” nametags so Uncle Lupin doesn’t accidentally end up hitting on you... again. To the three gentleman that I hit on this morning: I offer my most sincere apologies. If I'd known you were guys and not flat-chested girls I never would have called you 'toots' or 'babe' or 'honeybunch'. I most certainly wouldn't have tried to slip those dollar bills down your pants either. Man, talk about your bad first impressions!
Poll Vote!
Character: Roy Mustang
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist ((Note: Manga version. Wiki on FMA ))
Job Idea: Disciplinarian - the colonel is here to shape you children up. (Not that he won't be shirking his duties.)
Canon: Colonel Roy Mustang is the Flame Alchemist - and you'd do well to remember that name, as he is the man who will take King Bradley's position one day as president. His peers are either impressed by him or hate him tremendously; not only is he a genius State Alchemist who always just happens to be there to look good for the higher-ups in the military, but he's extremely young for his rank, not to mention smooth, crafty, and sex in a freshly-pressed uniform. His reputation for being willing to do anything for a promotion might not be so maddening if he attempted to appear busy at headquarters, instead of shirking paperwork and using military phone lines to call girls.
The lazy appearance is a lie, of course, to keep others off-guard - he's often just speaking to his carefully selected team of trusted personnel. While he's made himself out to be a perfectly crafted soldier, ruthlessly moving forward, he cares deeply for his comrades as well as the Elric brothers. He would die before abandoning his men, and often stupidly endangers himself to protect them. His dedication goes beyond death, and he is still pursuing his best friend's killer. In the end, he is a very good man to have at your back... though it's doubtful Fullmetal will ever admit it.
I suppose this transfer is not as unfortunate as some of the previous ones.
While it is rare for my rank to perform field work, I'm not a man to decline a direct request from the brass. Despite the many concerns involved with a diplomatic mission that is so far into uncivilized territory, as well as away from any military outpost, the Generals' confidence in my qualifications for the job could still be called... enthusiastic. After all, the owner of the establishment in question is a widow. It makes me wonder if my superiors have begun to believe some of the more unjustified gossip about me. But whatever their motives for my assignment to this mission, I must still not disappoint their high opinions of my abilities.
I invited your dear Director out for the evening shortly after our introduction to discuss her fascinating establishment - purely professional, of course. She's quite charming over wine, and after the first course was even bold enough to mention her staff was lacking. The hesitation wasn't necessary; it would not be very gentlemanly of me to leave her in such clear distress, and it fit in nicely with my orders. After all, where there are campers, there are hardworking, potential recruits, perfect for all the paperwork this assignment will entail.
... The welcoming committee was lacking, to say the least - poor posture and not one salute. I found the more aggressive members of the crowd to be quite flammable.
Interesting.
Should there be any concerns among you children, I am Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist. You may call me Colonel Mustang. When my lieutenants arrive, First Leut. Hawkeye will be willing to train you to shoot properly for the eyes, so you are not as wasteful with your ammunition.
And ah, Fullmetal. I see you've made yourself comfortable. I trust you'll have a full report for me tomorrow on your findings regarding the fascinating natives of this place. I would ask that you bring it by this evening, but it has been a long travel from Central, so I suppose I will be generous.
Poll Vote!
We received a ton of apps for counselors, and in the end, we set our limit at 40 to go to vote. This is roughly twice the number that we posted the last time, and is due to the fact that counselors went over quite well then. We had a lot of good apps, and a lot of excellent apps. This made weeding insanely hard.
When we weeded, we looked for a few things. First, follow the format. Did you follow the format that was posted in Biz's mod post? Did you make mention of the camp and campers? If you didn't, it was an auto-weed. Second, grammar and punctuation. Did you take the time to smooth out your app so it read well? Were there any glaring errors? If there were quite a few, we weeded. Third, activity, and this is a huge one. We had a bunch of counselors accepted last time, and quite a few ended up dropping. When we read the apps, we considered things such as, "how long will this character last in camp? Is it feasible for someone to really play this character for an extended period of time?" And so on and so forth. There were quite a few weeded on this one, sad to say. You had to have a really kickass app to jump that hurdle with a gimmick-y character. Fourth, the luster. Did your application stand out? If it made us laugh, it was an in. If it was just kinda bland, just kinda there... we weeded it.
I'm detailing this all now because we weeded quite a few apps, and there's no way either of us is going to be able to go over each and every one with all of this. If you are weeded, you'll be directed to this post with the general reasonings. Unfortunately, we are not available for elaborating further on it. Please don't e-mail us or ping us in IRC regarding counselor apps. It was a tough decision, we had to deliberate quite a bit, and that's how it ended up being what it was.
At the moment, we're still working on finalizing the apps that are going to go to vote. Those who were weeded will be informed by Sunday evening. Please do not ask us about the status of your application. We will let you know.
Remember!
- Appers, if you're going to respond to comments, post anon.
- The job section was more of a guideline this time. Keep in mind that it was more of a suggestion than anything concrete. ♥
- ... apologies to those who saw the other post. Notepad screwed up some formatting, dsjahdjas.
Now VOTE. Now closed!
Character: Ishida Ryuuken
Series: Bleach
Job Idea:Camp Doctor/First Aid/Health Instructor type person
Canon: Ryuuken is Uryuu's father and the head of Karakura Town Hospital. He is a Quincy with powers that were passed down to him by Souken, his father and Uryuu's grandfather. Despite the fact that he is extremely powerful, he once told Uryuu that he chose not to live as a Quincy because there was no profit to be gained from it. Ryuuken has one special thing in his life and is willing to do anything to protect it. To others, he appears as a very cold, serious person and is probably just as socially inept as his son. Other than that, very little is known about him.
Campers:
My name is Ishida Ryuuken and, apparently, I am to be the new camp doctor. Why I was chosen out of all people because it is not like I do not already run an entire hospital is beyond me. I was told that it was extremely urgent too. This I do not understand. How much medical care can one summer camp possibly need? A few scraped knees, a broken bone or two perhaps. You children cannot possibly get into that much trouble. But since this is my job, I will fulfill it to the best of my abilities. If you have any illnesses, profuse bleeding or anything that could be deemed potentially life-threatening, please do not hesitate to call on me. I assure you that I am more than qualified.
However, I have a few guidelines that I sincerely suggest you adhere to.
1. I will not tolerate any insolence.
2. Do not expect sympathy, for I will not give it. The end result was more than likely deserved.
3. Do not expect special treatment. For any questions you might have on this see #2.
4. Do not go anywhere near my medical equipment, books or any of my belongings. There will be dire consequences if you do.
I also have a few concerns of my own that I believe should be addressed. Upon my exploration of the camp a number of the oddest things have tried to attack me. These include, but are not limited to, a tentacle monster of which I was positive no such thing existed and some sort of aquatic creature that looked like this. It tried to eat my shoe and seems to have an affinity for leather. I have also noticed that the gorillas are purple. Purple. Please tell me the gorillas are not purple. These things have been most disconcerting and I am not quite sure how to go about dealing with them. Any Cabernet Sauvignon insight that one could provide would be much appreciated.
That being said, Uryuu, I am sure that you are more than likely a bit upset with me at the moment. I assure you that this was not in any way planned or intentional on my part. Although since we are now apparently going to be near each other for an undetermined period of time, I would like us to act at least civil to one another. I would really rather not have you causing any scenes with unnecessary outbursts. And please tell me that you are still not wearing that ridiculously silly white outfit with the cape. You're turning into a grown man. I would assume that you would have at least learned how to dress yourself properly by now.
Poll Vote!
Character: Tsunade
Series: Naruto
Job Idea: Camp nurse.
Canon: Tsunade is among the most gifted kunoichi and med-nin ever, as well as being considered one of the most beautiful women of her generation. She's also a vulgar, vain, jaded, foul tempered gambler. In her fifties, she uses her knowledge of jutsu to maintain the appearance of a much younger woman, which she's been known to alter at need to escape her debt collectors--for Tsunade is not only a gambler, she's the Legendary Sucker. She has neither skill, nor luck, and the only times she's won a bet in canon, it's been used as an ill omen.
And Tsunade is Godaime Hokage, the leader of the Leaf village, because underneath the vices, the disappointments, and the hard life, Tsunade is still a dedicated, responsible woman.
Oh, this is ridiculous. Godaime fucking Hokage, stuck here. What's next? Babysitting? Running a fucking daycare? I can see it now - the little ghoul babies toddling around demanding up, or a toy, or blood, or whateverthehellitis monster brats would want. Smart money probably says there's not a pachinko parlor in miles. Or a liquor store. Too bad, 'cause right about now, I could drink 'til I lactate whiskey...
...
I hope Shizune isn't too swamped without me.
Listen up, kids. Campers. Whatever. I have a hangover headache, so I'm only going to say this once. It won't be my problem if you miss it.
Apparently someone, to whom I was perhaps a little indebted, discovered that she's required to have at least one female counselor, in case any of the girls had "delicate issues" to discuss. One thing led to another, led to a couple of bent-nosed gorillas at my door. I couldn't exactly say no or sneak off into the night on this one, so, here I am. I'll be your new nurse. Can you feel my joy?
And, shit, all of you should be old enough to take care of yourselves, so don't come to me asking about your girl problems. We've all been there. Go to the goddamn store, buy some pads and painkillers, and get over yourself. You can bitch to me when you're menopausal. It looks like I'll already have more than enough work without offering moral support to a bunch of brats who can't cope with being on the rag.
As for the boys, I'll only treat you for wrist strain once. After that, you're on your own. I have more important things to do, and you better believe I have more important places to be. I'll be there just as soon as I have this minor little IOU cleared up.
Uuuh.
All right, since I don't know most of you, I'm Tsunade. Remember to show a bit of respect, and we should get along just fine.
Poll Vote!
Character: Robert "Granddad" Freeman
Series: The Boondocks (( LJ
Community)) ((Official Site
Job Idea: Obligatory Angry Old Man Recreation Supervisor
Canon: Robert Freeman, aka Granddad, moved to
the suburbs of Chicago (ie, the Boondocks) with his
grandchildren Huey and Riley, in hopes of living out
his years of retirement in a quiet, safe neighborhood
(Unfortunately this is impossible seeing his
grandchildren consist of an 8-year old wannabe thug
and an angry 10 year old bitter towards the world).
Like many old people, he's prone to believing
whatever's on the news, fails
at the internet, remembering about the 'old days',
and making his grandkids run all the way downstairs to
hand him the remote control. While he's quick to whip
out his belt when they get out of line, Granddad
really cares for his family and does his best to raise
them right. though he fails at explaining certain
subjects like alternate
lifestyles. In his freetime, Grandad enjoys
sleeping,playing Grand
Theft Auto III, and watching videos of the
booty-shaking variety on BET. The Boondocks in general
is a political comic strip that pokes fun at
everything from Bush to SARS to bad rap videos and
McDonalds.
Dang kids best be grateful I'm goin' through all this
trouble. Thought my working days were over but nope,
crazy chillins gotta always have someone watchin' over
them even at some darn summer camp. Heh, you
thought I was playin' didn't you Riley? Keep actin' up
I'mma send you here AND to Michael Jackson's
house!
Look at them, all moanin' and gruntin', skin falling
off. Bet that's the new "in" thing nowadays. What's so
great about decaying skin? In my day you were lucky
that only your teeth decayed, but then you get
toothaches and they hurt to high heaven I tells ya.
'Xactly what am I suppose to be teachin' these
chillins? They need to learn to sit their
hyper-active behinds down and take up a hobby. Like
BINGO. We got bingo here? No good self-respectin'
director would have a camp without BINGO night. We got
a lake view an' everything. Set it all up and be
yellin' BINGO, that'd be a dang pretty sight. Even got
ducks in the lake. Never seen a duck with teeth before
but them's better than chicken. Chicken on a farm will
hunt you down and cut you. Granddad knows this.
... what's with these here laptops? Bad enough that
the big computers take up the whole desk but now they
wanna be in your lap. See we didn't have no
fancy technology like this when I went to camp
an- what's that? Shoot the duck win a million dollars?
WHOO BOY GRANDDAD DONE GOT LUCKY! Heheh, and them boys
back home waste their money on lotto tickets. This
here internet gives ya FREE money! Hold still you li'l
bugger, Granddad's gonna shoot you... viagra?
Where's my money?
Poll Vote!
Character: Shiouji Gojyou
Series: Excel Saga (Anime/manga) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Excel_Saga)
Job Idea: Babysitter Youth Counselor/Handyman
Canon: Professor Shiouji Gojyou is a man of "refined" sensibilities, having "sophisticated" hobbies and "excellent" taste. You kind of get that way when your parents were geniuses, you are a genius, your father disappears and your mother is almost certifiable (okay, she's not that bad, really.) You know, after all that? The lolicon thing doesn't sound that bad after all, does it? For official clarification - Shiouji likes to watch them little girls. He'll make an exception if (and only if) a woman hasn't been totally hit by the puberty Mack Truck. You know how those refined sensibilities are.
Anyway. Shiouji is brilliant and utterly dedicated to his research. Creator of robots and other fun things. He can wax poetic about his true loves and he is ever in pursuit of his missing father's ideal! He enjoys good, intelligent conversation, can always make time for the children (of course!) but he can get impatient (while still being quite honest - he's always honest!) with those who test his limits like his cosplaying cousin who has an insane crush on him while still being polite. His work never fails to enchant him and he desires perfection in his creations whenever possible! Oh yes. Sprinklings of random French are very much normal for our good Professor.
PS: Don't forget the lolicon! The lolicon is all encompassing. Although he has never actually done anything to someone under-aged ever episode 26 not withstanding! General impression is: Shiouji likes to watch. ...And download pr0n and play dating sims. Leaving the beautiful flowers unsullied. To protect the ideal and pure! [Insert another phrase to romanticize the lolicon here!]
Hello! It is I, Shiouji Gojyou, Ph.D., Sc.D, with so much L.O.V.E, and I am most pleased to make your acquaintances! If you have any pronunciation problems with my name, you are of course most welcome to refer to me as Professor! (I direct that to all the petites mademoiselles at camp, of course! And even the not so petite, depending upon the situation!)
Dear Madam Director! I would ask why I am here, but I am certain that I already know. Don't I, Mother? Or perhaps not! I would generally assume that only my distraught mother (due to my Father's disappearance), would ever think up such a devious plan to find him - or perhaps allow me to find him! (Although, having traveled all the way from Fukuoka to Illinois, I would have expected your message at your office to say something far more ambiguous than "GOJYOU-CHAN~! COME TO LOUISIANA AND MAKE NICE FRIENDS ♥" Oh Mother. Really now.) Regardless of who you are, madam, that certainly will not deter me from having any fun, will it? Certainement NON!
Therefore, I, Shiouji Gojyou, am at your service! If you have any problems, please come to me, and the Professor will do his utmost to solve your problems, be it physical, mental, or electronic (after all, I am a genius!) I'm sorry, if you are mostly decomposing and rotting flesh, I can't help you! I can create cybernetic human shaped bodies, but biology is certainly not my forte! Perhaps the toucans would like some laser beams attached to their heads? Hmm? Mm?
Aah! So, summer camp, is it? To be technical, it is autumn, but I suppose I can overlook that because of all the wonderful, spry young children. The young, fragrant blooms of spring! Oh, the summer! May they yet stay on the cusp of flowering! The healthy, rosy glow on their cheeks! The shorts! Need I say more? So... Where are my little darlings? Hmm. Very curious. I would have expected a camp population to be of youngsters, but I see I am to be sorely disappointed. In ways that I cannot completely express in words. This is far from a perfect Summer Camp. Obviously in many ways, but this way is surely the most important. That, and the lack of a nice park bench to sit upon and watch- er. I really like to watch. Mother, Camp Director, you are most cruel!
... I am looking forward to working with you all, in whichever capacity is necessary of me!
Poll Vote!
Character: Izumi Curtis
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist (manga)
Job Idea: Camp Cook
Canon: Put simply, Izumi Curtis is an loving, angry ninja housewife alchemist. If you can call that simple. Some years ago, she tried to have a child, and basically, it didn’t work out; she got sick, the baby didn’t make it, and she became infertile. Even though it wasn’t her fault, she blamed herself, and never really got over the guilt. This led to her attempt at human transmutation, to revive the baby, which went about as well as having the baby in the first place. Except human transmutation comes at a great cost; just as Ed sacrificed an arm and a leg, Izumi lost some of her internal organs. Because of this, she has a very persistent medical condition in which she will literally SPEW blood from her mouth. Usually this happens when she is in a stressful situation and/or overexerts herself, ranging anywhere from a long fight to the use of alchemy. She also seems to have the uncanny ability to do it at just the right moment to creep people out. Izumi can also, like Ed and Al, perform alchemy without the use of an alchemical array.
In fact, Izumi is the woman who made Ed and Al the alchemists and fighters they are today. Though she has officially dismissed their relationship as Master and Students, she considers them members of her family--the sons she never had, if you will. She can and will, however, beat the crap out of anyone (but ESPECIALLY Ed and Al) without any warning for doing something stupid or standing against her. Just remember folks, she does this because she cares. It probably won’t be long before campers start wondering if she’s actually the camp director, if I may be so bold as to say so. What with the liberal appliance of violence, and all.
…So this is where my idiot students disappeared to, hmm? I really thought I wouldn’t have to come save them now that they’re growing up, but here I am. As much as I hate that Edward has become a dog of the military, he certain makes a lot of news. It’s a good way to keep track of him. But he’s basically disappeared these past few months, so I figured I’d track him down.
While I was on the train, an attendant delivered this letter to me:
“Dear Sir or Madam:
We are pleased to inform you that our previous camp cook, Former Employee’s Name, is no longer able to continue performing their services, as he or she has been eaten by the very meal they cooked. This means that this ‘prestigious’ and ‘fulfilling’ job is now available for you; we will be ‘honored’ to see you here at Camp Name Here for the position shortly.
See you soon,
Your Name”
Normally, I would have simply ripped the letter up and thrown it away, but by the time I was done reading it…I seem to have arrived at this camp. Luckily, it sounds like I would’ve been heading here eventually anyway; Ed and Al have, as usual, been causing quite a ruckus, and I wasn’t here long before I started hearing about them.
I’ve got to give them credit; I’d say that the fact that they’re stuck here is a clear sign that they haven’t been training enough and therefore deserve to be thoroughly thrashed, but this place is even worse than when I trained on Mount Blix.
In any case, I guess I’m supposed to be your new cook. But to be frank, I’m not interested in spending all my time pampering a bunch of whelps. I’m just here to get my family.
So I’ll put it this way: give me Edward and Alphonse Elric, unharmed, or I won’t hesitate to obliterate everything here.
hurk-fjkdla;
…These laptop things better be able to work fine after being covered in blood, or this is going to get difficult.
Poll Vote!
Character: Gilbert Dullindal
Series: Gundam SEED Destiny
Job Idea: Career Advisor
Canon: (Heavy spoilers for the end of GSD. Consider yourselves thoroughly
warned)
Gilbert Dullindal is Lacus's and Athrun's fathers' successor as the
chairman of PLANT. As such, he's one of the most influential
characters of SEED Destiny - and also one of the most manipulative.
Though initially appearing as a "good guy" in contrast to the evil
organization LOGOS, Dullindal's scheming bid for power becomes more
evident as the series continues: he uses Meer Campbell to snatch
Lacus's influence, manipulates global public opinion against all of
his enemies, and, ultimately, attempts to launch the "Destiny Plan",
which would give him more or less complete control over daily life
everywhere.
The Clyne Faction (Lacus, Kira, Athrun, Cagalli, etc.) doesn't
really take to the idea of Dullindal as the conductor of the
genetic orchestra and, hence, waltzes in and destroys the
Requiem, which is more or less Dullindal's mighty genocide cannon
aimed at Cagalli's homeland. Requiem goes boom in the mighty pink
fog of Seed explosions [tm], leaving only his throne the
control room intact. All his plans are thwarted when his beloved
clone boy, Rey, shoots him for Kira's sake. Gil dies.
Citizens of Camp Fuck You Die,
It has come to my attention that not once in the history of this noble
camp has anyone attempted to provide you with options for your further
career - your education is suffering the more time you spend here and
your personal growth is stunted. You spend your time fighting various
threats and each other, but no thought is spared for whatever you will
do after your release. Will you continue to waste your potential or
will you try to enhance yourself? Remain as mediocre human beings or
make the best of what nature has given you?
For those of you who acknowledge your limitations and potential,
I offer my services as a... career advisor. I will listen to your
thoughts and aspirations and then provide you with a variety of options
according to your unique talents. The Camp Director ensured me she will
provide me with all necessary instruments to prepare you for your future
career.
I will be offering weekly one-on-one sessions for everyone who's interested
- I am hopeful that more private surroundings will help you to realize
your strengths and weaknesses and admit to them.
As things are going, there seems to be quite a lot of potential going to
waste. At the PLANTs, these zombies would be used against a common enemy,
but in these surroundings, their considerable talents are being ignored.
They might seem to be unsuited to anything but shuffling menacingly, but
even in their low intelligence they still can be used for manual labour.
Their potential is just there to be explored, to be tamed and employed,
and I find it to be a tragedy that this potential is ignored day after
day, as our potential allies are thoughtlessly wasted as target practice.
But the time to bring an end to this has come - the zombies and you, the
campers, should be able to coexist peacefully, in a brave new world free
of conflict!
Lastly, in a very private note - if you happen to have seen or spoken
to a camper by the name of Rey Za Burrel, please inform me of his
whereabouts. We need to talk.
Poll Vote!
Character: Arsène Lupin III
Series: Lupin III (http://www.lupinencyclopedia.com)
Job Idea: In charge of the Lost and Found.
Canon: If you get a letter from Lupin (not to be confused with a certain werewolf from a certain book series that may or may not rhyme with Gary Spotter), you may as well kiss your stuff goodbye-the international thief has the uncanny ability to obtain almost any item he sets his sights on. Many have tried to capture him, but somehow he always manages to escape and live to steal another day. It’s no big surprise then that he tends to be rather cocky most of the time. This skilled crook has a rather common weakness though; he’s a huge pervert and is a sucker for a beautiful woman. Hence the treasures he works so hard to obtain are usually lost in seconds flat when he crosses the path of his occasional lover and rival, the female thief Fujiko Mine.
Ok, to whoever designed that damn barrier: I can’t decide if I love you or hate you. While I’m not too happy with the fact that everything from hi-tech fiddling to poking it with a twig has failed to help me figure it out, a part of me is thrilled to be challenged. I can’t remember the last time I had this much trouble breaking out of a place. That barrier seems impenetrable.
Much to my dismay, according to the rules, so are the women around here. Oh, cruel fate!
At any rate, since it seems I’ll be stuck around here for awhile I guess I might as well go along with this counselor shtick. I’m not used to working with kids, but considering my associates back home are always calling me childish I think we’ll get along swimmingly. I'll bet I'd be a pretty good mentor, what with my vast 'work' experience and all. I'll teach 'em the kind of important stuff the educational system foolishy leaves out! We'll start with what to do if you ever find yourself in the position to save the world from a giant evil brain, and then from there move on to the finer points of constructing realistic dummies to replace yourself with to trick dumb prison guards. You can argue that the chances of being in either of those situations is slim to nil, but I say it beats the hell out of making birdhouses out of popsicle sticks.
So feel free to come and visit your Uncle Lupin, kids! Uh… but you pretty boys really need to wear “Hello! I’m a male!” nametags so Uncle Lupin doesn’t accidentally end up hitting on you... again. To the three gentleman that I hit on this morning: I offer my most sincere apologies. If I'd known you were guys and not flat-chested girls I never would have called you 'toots' or 'babe' or 'honeybunch'. I most certainly wouldn't have tried to slip those dollar bills down your pants either. Man, talk about your bad first impressions!
Poll Vote!
Character: Roy Mustang
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist ((Note: Manga version. Wiki on FMA ))
Job Idea: Disciplinarian - the colonel is here to shape you children up. (Not that he won't be shirking his duties.)
Canon: Colonel Roy Mustang is the Flame Alchemist - and you'd do well to remember that name, as he is the man who will take King Bradley's position one day as president. His peers are either impressed by him or hate him tremendously; not only is he a genius State Alchemist who always just happens to be there to look good for the higher-ups in the military, but he's extremely young for his rank, not to mention smooth, crafty, and sex in a freshly-pressed uniform. His reputation for being willing to do anything for a promotion might not be so maddening if he attempted to appear busy at headquarters, instead of shirking paperwork and using military phone lines to call girls.
The lazy appearance is a lie, of course, to keep others off-guard - he's often just speaking to his carefully selected team of trusted personnel. While he's made himself out to be a perfectly crafted soldier, ruthlessly moving forward, he cares deeply for his comrades as well as the Elric brothers. He would die before abandoning his men, and often stupidly endangers himself to protect them. His dedication goes beyond death, and he is still pursuing his best friend's killer. In the end, he is a very good man to have at your back... though it's doubtful Fullmetal will ever admit it.
I suppose this transfer is not as unfortunate as some of the previous ones.
While it is rare for my rank to perform field work, I'm not a man to decline a direct request from the brass. Despite the many concerns involved with a diplomatic mission that is so far into uncivilized territory, as well as away from any military outpost, the Generals' confidence in my qualifications for the job could still be called... enthusiastic. After all, the owner of the establishment in question is a widow. It makes me wonder if my superiors have begun to believe some of the more unjustified gossip about me. But whatever their motives for my assignment to this mission, I must still not disappoint their high opinions of my abilities.
I invited your dear Director out for the evening shortly after our introduction to discuss her fascinating establishment - purely professional, of course. She's quite charming over wine, and after the first course was even bold enough to mention her staff was lacking. The hesitation wasn't necessary; it would not be very gentlemanly of me to leave her in such clear distress, and it fit in nicely with my orders. After all, where there are campers, there are hardworking, potential recruits, perfect for all the paperwork this assignment will entail.
... The welcoming committee was lacking, to say the least - poor posture and not one salute. I found the more aggressive members of the crowd to be quite flammable.
Interesting.
Should there be any concerns among you children, I am Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist. You may call me Colonel Mustang. When my lieutenants arrive, First Leut. Hawkeye will be willing to train you to shoot properly for the eyes, so you are not as wasteful with your ammunition.
And ah, Fullmetal. I see you've made yourself comfortable. I trust you'll have a full report for me tomorrow on your findings regarding the fascinating natives of this place. I would ask that you bring it by this evening, but it has been a long travel from Central, so I suppose I will be generous.
Poll Vote!