(no subject)
Hay guys wat's goin on
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Tsuruya
Series: The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi
Character Age: 16
Canon:
Haruhi: >8D I want aliens, espers, and time travelers! Normal humans
are boring!
Yuki: ... :|
Itsuki: 8D?
Mikuru: D:?
Kyon: >/!
And that's the SOS-brigade! MEANWHILE, PEOPLE LIVE NORMAL LIVES. Like
Tsuruya - a rich, hyperactive, (probably) ordinary human. She's got endless
energy, and gets along with Haruhi due to similar interests, and Tsuruya's
own eccentric-ness. For example, ending sentences with 'nyoro,' bursting
into laughter at almost anything, and having unwavering energy. Because of
her laughing and the fact that she has a protruding fang, she's gotten the
fandom nick-name lolfang-tan.
But super secretly, it's Tsuruya's family that funds the esper organization
that Itsuki works under.
Sample Post:
C-camp fu-- AHAHAHAHA. T-that name is the best! The super best! The ultra
best! Ultra or super - which do you think is more? I'm pretty sure it's
ultra. Well, honestly I don't even think it's the best so much as it
is just plain funny. Plain funny? No way, it's gotta be like especially
funny! Like rice-balls that have sprinkles on them - that's a different kind
of good than a rice ball with salmon in it. There's plain and ordinary funny
and there's sprinkled funny.
I... I knew what I was talking abouts before. But I don't... Now...
Anyway! HELLO EVERYONE AT CAMP, MY NAME IS TSURUYA. HARUNYAN,
KYON-KUN, KOIZUMI-KUN, NAGATO-CHI, HIIII~! I'm so excited to be at such a fun
place with everyone! We'll have a megas lot of fun! We can play board games
and climb trees and stay up later than they tell us. Does this camp have a
curfew? I went to another summer camp before, and they didn't have one. They
fed us smoked cheese one of the nights though, nyoro.
DOES THIS PLACE? PLEASE SAY YOU DOES. You, Zombie! Do we get smoked cheese
any nigh... Any n-nights... N-PFFFT AHAHAHAHAHA. ZOMBIES JUST LIKE IN THE
MOVIES! Wait, is Mikuru-chan here?! She was always my movie
watching partner! A bit unwilling, but if you let her cling to you and pet
her hair when she cries, she gets through the scary movies just fine.
Usually. And since she can't sleep, when you wake up, all the mess you made
is gone, and there's breakfast prepared and everything!
Well, it was always like that for me, since we have maids and cooks. Hahaha~
What am I doing, telling all this to a zombie! Well, you haven't tried to
bite me yet, so you're okay! Being a zombie wouldn't be so bad - unless I
started to get picked on for having green skin and green hair. No
way! I won't let that happen! DON'T STEP CLOSER OR I'LL WOOP OUT MY FAKE
KUNG-FU! Ah, I do know real kung-fu though, nyoro.
But answer my question, okay? Do we get any smoked cheese?
W-why aren't you answering me?
Nyoro~n...
I was looking forward to it so much... But but but there's always the rest
of the part of camp! And it's already lots of fun! I haven't been here long,
but SUDDENLY, THE UNEXPECTED! I saw a tree with rainbow leafs, and I saw a
snowman made of marshmallow, and I saw some zombies. I'll make the best of
this! I'm missing all the TV dramas I love, so this camp better live up to
being megas awesome!
Okay, now to find my cabin, my friends, new friends, or more
interesting things without getting eaten! You haven't tried to bite me
yet, so I shall call you Fredward McLanky Rot, and you shall be my pet
zombie. Please pause along with me when I stop to pose with my imaginary
gun, nyoro. TYPICAL ZOMBIE FLICK, GO! But with a twist, because I have a
zombie on my side. Ahahaha~! I'm so creative, I should direct movies.
♥
Wait FREDWARD, what are you doing?! I thought
you pledged me your loyalty! THAT'S IT! It's fake-kung-fu time,
nyoro!
Poll Vote!
Character: River Tam
Series: Firefly (Official Website; Wikipedia article)
Character Age: 17
Canon: River Tam was a child prodigy the likes of which parents dream of; at the age of three, she was correcting her brother Simon's spelling, and he was by no means an idiot. Her intelligence eventually led to her being enrolled (as was her desire) into an Alliance-sponsored school known as the Academy. The government was not interested in helping River develop her intelligence; the Academy instead spent the next two years turning her brain into Swiss cheese, transforming her from a sweet if bratty teenage girl into a schizophrenic ninja with no capacity to filter out her emotions. Still vastly intelligent, an unfortunate side effect of all the playing around with her brain was lack of coherency--River ended up often speaking in riddles or long metaphors, making her difficult to understand but nevertheless insightful.
Her brother threw away everything and came to her rescue. He broke her out of the Academy and gave her the Han Solo treatment, before getting them (him and his sister-in-a-box) passage on board a Firefly-class vessel called Serenity. Far from being safe, however, River Tam and her brother became fugitives, targets of the Alliance government. It seemed that River picked up a few secrets that she shouldn't have, and the Alliance was more than keen to get their project back before she did something they didn't want her to. Finding a home on Serenity, captained by a man more than happy to give the Alliance a certain finger, River and her brother have thus far managed to evade capture, though they've escaped by the skin of their teeth so often that it's a miracle they don't have dentures yet.
Note: River is being taken from the end of Serenity, the movie.
Sample Post:
Why do we call it the black? Space is interrupted with light and life, hardly just black. Breeds confusion, expectations that can't be met and it crushes hopes. Smash, crumble, fall like the egg that sat on the wall. Eggs can be laid but can't sit. In the end gravity always wins, except in the black-interrupted-by-everything.
This black is uninterrupted. Rectangular. Smaller than space, no stars, no ships, boundaries just above and below and all around. Another box. I've seen the insides of too many boxes. What packaged food must feel like. Am not food, for Reavers or zombies or worms. High in sugar, will go straight to your hips.
Should be sleeping, why aren't I sleeping? Can't sleep, the gorillas will get me. Don't want to be in the box anymore, want to be out of the box. This black is too heavy with atmosphere and clouds and weather and people. Recycled air, but all air is recycled. Breathe in, breathe out, carbon dioxide is good for plants. Am not a plant, have no leaves.
Who's singing? The black is too small to dance in and the recycled air is getting too hot to breathe in--
--oh, the man is singing. Mail. No, male. I'm the mail. Shipped in a box. Simon likes putting me in boxes--thinks the sights will see me if my feet hit the ground. Don't want to be mail, though, want to get out. Muscles are all cramped from imitating food.
Signed for? The girl has to be signed for? Signature on the dotted line, x marks the spot.
...You misspelled "confirmation" on your form. And there's only two L's in liability, not three. Also, the structure of the entire form is unnecessarily perplexing, like trying to--
--I don't want to go back into the box.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ted
Series: Suikoden
Character Age: Physically mid-teens.
Canon: If you give a boy a cursed True Rune that not only stops him from aging, but also devours the souls of anyone he cares about and leave him like that long enough, you'll eventually end up with one bitter 300-year-old man who's stuck in eternal puberty. Ouch. Fortunately for Ted, he passed on his Rune to the game's Hero, died, and doesn't have to deal with that crap anymore.
While Ted understandably isn't the poster child of happiness, he's pretty accepting and zen from the sheer wear and tear of life, if not a bit disgusted. He dislikes being talked down to, especially considering his true age, and won't mince words to get his point across. Despite this, Ted's loyal, trusting, sympathetic, sweet and no one's walking mat, even if it means having to run away.
Sample Post:
Since none of you seem to be getting it, I'll say it one more time: Keep at least five feet away at all times or you'll get an arrow in the face. No, I'm not interested in staying and no, I especially don't care if you want brains, though I can see you're obviously lacking them. Is it really too much to ask to be left alone?
Never mind, your chewing on your own kneecaps is all the answer I need.
And that warning (yes, warning) wasn't an invitation to touch me more, so hands off! I'm getting sick and tired of it and-- what are you doing now? If you're trying to crack the barrier open with only your head, you're going about it all wrong. Seriously, while some people may consider it entertaining, there are better ways to try and crack that thing. Trust me, it can't be any tougher than walking fifteen miles in the snow just to get to an inn-- actually, yes. It was uphill both ways.
In any case, I don't believe for a second that only the zombies are doing something. Surely someone else must be trying to get out? It's either that or they're all waiting for some punk kid with a sword and a dumb outfit to come along and make with the heroics and whisk them all onto the sunset with a shining white horse. Yes, I know it's stupid, that's the point. Or do I have something on my face?
Ah. I see. Sorry, but while I may be a little down on my luck, I'm not desperate enough to join up with a party of zombies that can't even keep track of their heads, let alone any other appendages. It's not that heroics are a bad thing, per se, but it'd be better to leave it up to someone who won't fall apart, literally or metaphorically, at the sight of an enemy. Experience nothing, it doesn't matter if you used to fight, you're still losing all your teeth. I am definitely not 'some delicious young ragamuffin' either, so don't treat me like one! I just happen to age very well.
...No, that does not mean I go better with chicken.
Poll Vote!
Character: C.C.
Series: Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion
Character Age: Unknown, possibly hundreds of years old - appears to be around 16
Canon: Code Geass is Sunrise's newest epic mecha war story, featuring character designs by CLAMP. In the not-too-distant future, Japan is overthrown by the Holy Britannian Empire, and is hence renamed 'Area 11'. The series chronicles a rebellion (obviously) led by our main character, Lelouch Lamperouge, whom for spoilery reasons has just had enough of Britannia and its iron fist. But said rebellion would not be possible had it not been for his chance encounter with a girl called C.C. (which is actually pronounced 'C-2'), who was previously being held by Britannia for experimental purposes. C.C. gives Lelouch a power called 'Geass', which allows him to briefly control anyone's mind once. C.C. loses this power upon transferring it to him, but it also does not work on her.
C.C. is very mysterious and does not show a whole lot of emotion; she's very skeptical and anti-social, and she usually just observes a situation (or mission) until she thinks she is needed. She ignores Lelouch a lot of the time, aside from the fact that she pops up to save him occasionally, hides out in his house, steals his bed and uses his money to order Pizza Hut (Code Geass is very liberally sprinkled with Pizza Hut product placement; through collecting Pizza Hut points, C.C. obtains 'Cheese-kun', a stuffed cheese nugget with a hat). While she appears human, it is clear that she is not-perhaps an alien or some kind of artificial creation. Besides being immune to Geass, her abilities include rapid healing, telepathy, possible immortality, and complete apathy.
Sample Post:
This must be some kind of joke. I'm not a fan of jokes, and this one is definitely not funny.
It's come to my attention that the director of this place, apparently called "Camp Fuck You Die", has suspicions that I may have murdered someone. This is a woman I've never even seen we are talking about. What if I did do it? She can't keep me imprisoned here forever. I do not fear her, nor her so-called "impenetrable barrier". It can't actually be impenetrable, anyway-you're telling me that a summer camp that doesn't even operate at the right time of the year somehow has a giant magical wall surrounding it? I'll believe that when I see it.
...Oh, me? You may call me C.C., but I would frankly prefer you didn't speak to me at all. If I am to stay here-lucky me-I will require Pizza Hut and a gun. Pizza Hut because I am hungry and I happen to collect their points; a gun just in case any of the colorful local wildlife makes the unwise decision to come too close to me. (Yes, I've seen that thing in your lake, if you can even call it a lake. How much food coloring did it take to get it to look like that?)
I suppose it goes without saying that my observations of this place have proven it to be quite strange (in addition to being remarkably ugly, that is). There is a breed of dirty and foul-smelling humanoids roaming around nearby. I daresay they may be the fabled "zombies" I have heard of once or twice. Clearly my understanding of humankind has been challenged-I had been under the impression that when they die, they stay dead. Frankly, after I caught a whiff of a pack of them as they closed in on me asking quite rudely for a vital organ, I am inclined to believe that death would have been a more prudent choice.
I see that I have been given a gun-a bit shoddy and old-fashioned, but I suppose it will do. But if you'll remember, I asked for two things, and I have no qualms with using one of those things to get the other...
Oh, and one last thing: would the owner and/or creator of the...robotic cows please come forward? One of your creations has made off with something very important to me. He is not actually made of cheese, and if I find he's been eaten anyway, I will not hesitate to make some robot filet mignon out of your robot cow.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurogane
Series: Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE
Character Age: FUSHIGI MYSTERY, but looks 20-ish.
Canon: This is the story of princess Sakura, who, in a horrible twist of fate, lost all of her memories which turned into feathers and scattered across many worlds. Syaoran, her childhood best friend, and not-so-sekrit love interest swore to return them to her. And thus, with the help of Yuuko, the Witch of Dimensions, a magical journey full of cameos, crossovers, and the occasional gay vampire began.
Kurogane, also known as the Motherfucking Loudest Ninja Ever, and The Unholy Lovechild of Zaraki Kenpachi and Chuck Norris, got kicked out of his world by Cute Lesbian Princess Tomoyo for putting the laughter in manslaughter; and was sent to Yuuko's shop so that he could travel to other worlds and learn the true meaning of strength. Ultimately, against his will, he joined the Feather Search Party in hopes that he would one day be able to return to Japan, his home country.
He is brave, proud, determined, and more often than not, the only member of the group with common sense (though terribly short-tempered). Kurogane will never back down from a challenge; and in true shounen retard fashion, fighting and opportunities to prove his strength are a few of his favorite things. However, underneath his Bad Ninja attitude, lies a caring and loyal friend who will go to any lenght in order to protect those most important to him.
Note: In the series, Mokona serves as a pocket Babel fish for the party. In other words, as long as they're relatively close to it, they will be able to understand each other, and the language of the country they're in.
Sample Post:
The country of Camp Fuck You Die, huh? The name sounded kinda ominous and promising at first, but I gotta say. I'm really disappointed. Gettin' rid of those undead bastards was the easiest thing I've done all week and I don't even have my sword with me. Not to mention it takes 'em forever to find their missing limbs and attack again. Ch, at least give me something that'll keep me entertained for more than two minutes.
I still haven't found the others, but they can't be too far since I can understand most of what the natives here say... including some of the animals. Really, parrots are one thing, but a toucan? YES, I'M TALKING TO YOU, FEATHERBRAINS. I CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD AND IT'S NOT. FUNNY. Stop it or I'll have to muzzle you with the clothes that're hangin' from that tree and--
LISTEN I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE NOT A D-CUP OR WHATEVER THE HELL THAT'S SUPPOSED TO MEAN, JUST SHUT UP.
Yeah, that's better. And I guess this would be a good time to take a look at the stuff I got when I landed here, at least until a worthy opponent shows up.
Let's see... is this a TV? Oh. Nah, it's just a piece of crap computer. I don't care if it's serious business, I won't learn any stupid rules of the internets! On the other hand, I wonder if I can trade this gun-thing for something more sharp and pointy, even a kitchen knife'd be better! And what kinda ridiculous "Ninja Survival Kit" is this supposed to be? Fishnet? No thanks, I can catch my meals without any of that of crap. And this box of 'emo' is empty, talk about a ripoff. What's next?
Haah... interesting. But these things are just too round and smooth to be shuriken. I don't get i-- Oh, wait, they're called... 'dots'?
. . .
Heeeeh.
ALRIGHT YOU GIANT SQUID THING, I'VE GOT SOME DOTS AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE 'EM, SO GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE SO WE CAN FIND OUT! THIS IS YOUR HANDICAP, BRING IT ON!
Poll Vote!
Character: Cecile
Series: Suikoden III (manga)
Character Age: 12
Canon: Suikoden III is the story about a conflict between two countries, the Grasslands and Zexen. The war soon spreads, and many Grasslanders are forced to flee from their homes. They take refuge in Budehuc Castle, which lies on the border between the two nations. Cecile inherited her father's position as Captain of the Guard there, but she's earned it many times over; she patrols daily with the help of several volunteer recruits and a pack of adorable dogs.
Cecile is extremely energetic and enthusiastic, putting 110% of her energy into defending the castle. She's fiercely loyal to Thomas, the castle lord, and supports him in anything he does. In addition, she's optimistic and friendly to most people, unless they might be a threat; then they meet the business end of her spear. Cecile is also easily excitable and prone to stuttering, but she has moments of maturity and wisdom. While Cecile may not speak softly, she's carrying a big stick and she knows how to use it.
Sample Post:
Wake up, guys! The sun's shining and it's a great day for training, so let's get started! Look, even the wildlife is excited to see us; they're setting a great example for us to follow! E-except we'll only be pretending to kill each other because this is just practice. We can try some real life situations later, if all of you are ready! But first, please stop chewing on my helmet. It's good that you're ready and willing to sink your teeth into this, but that isn't the proper way to salute your captain. Your friend lost the rest of his teeth yesterday when he tried it.
Oh, speaking of your friend, I can't keep calling all of you "Mr. Green-wobbly-bits" or "Mr. Has-one-and-a-half-arms," so I thought of a name for the group! It'll make things easier, plus having a name improves morale because it represents the connection between all of us--sorry I d-didn't mean that literally! Can you get back in line? Thanks! Anyway, what do you guys think of being called the Breakneck Response for Amorous Interception and Neutralization Squad? We can call it "BRAINS" for short, because I know you guys can remember that!
So now that that's settled, let's do some patrolling! Come on, guys! Stop shuffling and be more enthusiastic! Lift those legs higher, b-but not high enough for them to fall off because I don't have any string left to tie them back on with. And you! You're not allowed to play "keep away" with your neighbors' body parts, even if he insulted your mother. That isn't professional behavior, so give it back to him right now--and stop making rude gestures at him with his own hand!
...okay, maybe we'll have to come back to marching later, once everyone's found all their limbs again. In the meantime, let's practice the motto! Say it with me, everyone! If you're in trouble, just blow a whistle! We're the BRAINS and we'll come, rain or shine! Ready? ONE TWO THREE FOUR, WE'LL KICK THEIR HORMONES OUT THE DOOR. FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT, WE'LL MAKE SURE THEY DON'T MASTU-
...wait, who changed the last line?! That isn't even funny!
Poll Vote!
Character: Lazlo
Series: Suikoden IV
Character Age: Late teens
Canon: The Suikoden series is well-known for two common themes - war and Rune angst. Suikoden IV is no exception to the rule. This time, it centers around a group of people trying to save the Island Nations from the violent invasion of the Kooluk empire, assembling an army of 108 Stars of Destiny along the way.
Lazlo is the protagonist of Suikoden IV and the bearer of the Rune of Punishment, which gradually consumes the life of its bearer. Despite the heavy burden the Rune places on him, Lazlo manages to come across as heroic, driven, charismatic, calm, patient, and very forgiving, traits that helped him overcome both the Kooluk forces and his own Rune's curse. While Lazlo is serious and intense when he has a task he needs to accomplish, once the war's over he's more likely to be found just chilling out on a tropical island.
Sample Post:
Next time some unknown stranger asks if I can rescue his "lovely kiss-kiss precious sparkle wife Marcy-chan" from the depths of a mysterious uncharted island known only as 'CFUD', I'm just going to walk away. Before I end up knee-deep in mud and ooze. I mean, I somehow managed to lose track of not only my ship and its entire crew, but also the ocean itself within thirty seconds of setting foot here. How do you lose the damn ocean?
And these zombies aren't being very helpful, either. I know you can't help dropping limbs left and right, but it doesn't take much to pick them up afterward, and it's way more hygienic without rotting limbs all over the place. But then again, it doesn't look like you're all too concerned with things like hygiene, given that you've been trying to juggle your own head for the last ten minutes. You know it doesn't work unless you have more than one thing, right?
So while you're collecting enough heads to properly juggle them, I think I'll just be leaving now. It's been fun, but I'd really better get to doing what I came here to do. If I just keep walking, I'll get somewhere eventually, and maybe it'll even be the place I want to go.
...Or it could be a lake. This is really a poor substitute for a missing ocean. It's not even a very nice lake, what with the glowing and the giant monster and the huge sign propped up saying 'BEWARE OF MARCY'-- Wait, 'Marcy' as in 'lovely kiss-kiss etcetera etcetera etcetera'? Marcy is the giant monster? ...Well, I guess that really sheds some light on that mysterious stranger earlier- I mean, his "wife"? A tentacle monster.
But I didn't come all the way here and go through all of that for nothing, so tentacle monster or not, I'm going to do what I said I would: Mrs. Marcy, I'm sure you miss your ...husband - he certainly misses you, anyway. So much that he asked a random stranger to rescue you for him. So you're willing to work together like civilized peopl- like a civilized person and a tentacle monster, for the sake of getting out of this place, right?
I hope that vaguely ominous way you're waving your tentacles means 'yes'.
[Marcy has joined the 108 Stars of Destiny!]
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Tsuruya
Series: The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi
Character Age: 16
Canon:
Haruhi: >8D I want aliens, espers, and time travelers! Normal humans
are boring!
Yuki: ... :|
Itsuki: 8D?
Mikuru: D:?
Kyon: >/!
And that's the SOS-brigade! MEANWHILE, PEOPLE LIVE NORMAL LIVES. Like
Tsuruya - a rich, hyperactive, (probably) ordinary human. She's got endless
energy, and gets along with Haruhi due to similar interests, and Tsuruya's
own eccentric-ness. For example, ending sentences with 'nyoro,' bursting
into laughter at almost anything, and having unwavering energy. Because of
her laughing and the fact that she has a protruding fang, she's gotten the
fandom nick-name lolfang-tan.
But super secretly, it's Tsuruya's family that funds the esper organization
that Itsuki works under.
Sample Post:
C-camp fu-- AHAHAHAHA. T-that name is the best! The super best! The ultra
best! Ultra or super - which do you think is more? I'm pretty sure it's
ultra. Well, honestly I don't even think it's the best so much as it
is just plain funny. Plain funny? No way, it's gotta be like especially
funny! Like rice-balls that have sprinkles on them - that's a different kind
of good than a rice ball with salmon in it. There's plain and ordinary funny
and there's sprinkled funny.
I... I knew what I was talking abouts before. But I don't... Now...
Anyway! HELLO EVERYONE AT CAMP, MY NAME IS TSURUYA. HARUNYAN,
KYON-KUN, KOIZUMI-KUN, NAGATO-CHI, HIIII~! I'm so excited to be at such a fun
place with everyone! We'll have a megas lot of fun! We can play board games
and climb trees and stay up later than they tell us. Does this camp have a
curfew? I went to another summer camp before, and they didn't have one. They
fed us smoked cheese one of the nights though, nyoro.
DOES THIS PLACE? PLEASE SAY YOU DOES. You, Zombie! Do we get smoked cheese
any nigh... Any n-nights... N-PFFFT AHAHAHAHAHA. ZOMBIES JUST LIKE IN THE
MOVIES! Wait, is Mikuru-chan here?! She was always my movie
watching partner! A bit unwilling, but if you let her cling to you and pet
her hair when she cries, she gets through the scary movies just fine.
Usually. And since she can't sleep, when you wake up, all the mess you made
is gone, and there's breakfast prepared and everything!
Well, it was always like that for me, since we have maids and cooks. Hahaha~
What am I doing, telling all this to a zombie! Well, you haven't tried to
bite me yet, so you're okay! Being a zombie wouldn't be so bad - unless I
started to get picked on for having green skin and green hair. No
way! I won't let that happen! DON'T STEP CLOSER OR I'LL WOOP OUT MY FAKE
KUNG-FU! Ah, I do know real kung-fu though, nyoro.
But answer my question, okay? Do we get any smoked cheese?
W-why aren't you answering me?
Nyoro~n...
I was looking forward to it so much... But but but there's always the rest
of the part of camp! And it's already lots of fun! I haven't been here long,
but SUDDENLY, THE UNEXPECTED! I saw a tree with rainbow leafs, and I saw a
snowman made of marshmallow, and I saw some zombies. I'll make the best of
this! I'm missing all the TV dramas I love, so this camp better live up to
being megas awesome!
Okay, now to find my cabin, my friends, new friends, or more
interesting things without getting eaten! You haven't tried to bite me
yet, so I shall call you Fredward McLanky Rot, and you shall be my pet
zombie. Please pause along with me when I stop to pose with my imaginary
gun, nyoro. TYPICAL ZOMBIE FLICK, GO! But with a twist, because I have a
zombie on my side. Ahahaha~! I'm so creative, I should direct movies.
♥
Wait FREDWARD, what are you doing?! I thought
you pledged me your loyalty! THAT'S IT! It's fake-kung-fu time,
nyoro!
Poll Vote!
Character: River Tam
Series: Firefly (Official Website; Wikipedia article)
Character Age: 17
Canon: River Tam was a child prodigy the likes of which parents dream of; at the age of three, she was correcting her brother Simon's spelling, and he was by no means an idiot. Her intelligence eventually led to her being enrolled (as was her desire) into an Alliance-sponsored school known as the Academy. The government was not interested in helping River develop her intelligence; the Academy instead spent the next two years turning her brain into Swiss cheese, transforming her from a sweet if bratty teenage girl into a schizophrenic ninja with no capacity to filter out her emotions. Still vastly intelligent, an unfortunate side effect of all the playing around with her brain was lack of coherency--River ended up often speaking in riddles or long metaphors, making her difficult to understand but nevertheless insightful.
Her brother threw away everything and came to her rescue. He broke her out of the Academy and gave her the Han Solo treatment, before getting them (him and his sister-in-a-box) passage on board a Firefly-class vessel called Serenity. Far from being safe, however, River Tam and her brother became fugitives, targets of the Alliance government. It seemed that River picked up a few secrets that she shouldn't have, and the Alliance was more than keen to get their project back before she did something they didn't want her to. Finding a home on Serenity, captained by a man more than happy to give the Alliance a certain finger, River and her brother have thus far managed to evade capture, though they've escaped by the skin of their teeth so often that it's a miracle they don't have dentures yet.
Note: River is being taken from the end of Serenity, the movie.
Sample Post:
Why do we call it the black? Space is interrupted with light and life, hardly just black. Breeds confusion, expectations that can't be met and it crushes hopes. Smash, crumble, fall like the egg that sat on the wall. Eggs can be laid but can't sit. In the end gravity always wins, except in the black-interrupted-by-everything.
This black is uninterrupted. Rectangular. Smaller than space, no stars, no ships, boundaries just above and below and all around. Another box. I've seen the insides of too many boxes. What packaged food must feel like. Am not food, for Reavers or zombies or worms. High in sugar, will go straight to your hips.
Should be sleeping, why aren't I sleeping? Can't sleep, the gorillas will get me. Don't want to be in the box anymore, want to be out of the box. This black is too heavy with atmosphere and clouds and weather and people. Recycled air, but all air is recycled. Breathe in, breathe out, carbon dioxide is good for plants. Am not a plant, have no leaves.
Who's singing? The black is too small to dance in and the recycled air is getting too hot to breathe in--
--oh, the man is singing. Mail. No, male. I'm the mail. Shipped in a box. Simon likes putting me in boxes--thinks the sights will see me if my feet hit the ground. Don't want to be mail, though, want to get out. Muscles are all cramped from imitating food.
Signed for? The girl has to be signed for? Signature on the dotted line, x marks the spot.
...You misspelled "confirmation" on your form. And there's only two L's in liability, not three. Also, the structure of the entire form is unnecessarily perplexing, like trying to--
--I don't want to go back into the box.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ted
Series: Suikoden
Character Age: Physically mid-teens.
Canon: If you give a boy a cursed True Rune that not only stops him from aging, but also devours the souls of anyone he cares about and leave him like that long enough, you'll eventually end up with one bitter 300-year-old man who's stuck in eternal puberty. Ouch. Fortunately for Ted, he passed on his Rune to the game's Hero, died, and doesn't have to deal with that crap anymore.
While Ted understandably isn't the poster child of happiness, he's pretty accepting and zen from the sheer wear and tear of life, if not a bit disgusted. He dislikes being talked down to, especially considering his true age, and won't mince words to get his point across. Despite this, Ted's loyal, trusting, sympathetic, sweet and no one's walking mat, even if it means having to run away.
Sample Post:
Since none of you seem to be getting it, I'll say it one more time: Keep at least five feet away at all times or you'll get an arrow in the face. No, I'm not interested in staying and no, I especially don't care if you want brains, though I can see you're obviously lacking them. Is it really too much to ask to be left alone?
Never mind, your chewing on your own kneecaps is all the answer I need.
And that warning (yes, warning) wasn't an invitation to touch me more, so hands off! I'm getting sick and tired of it and-- what are you doing now? If you're trying to crack the barrier open with only your head, you're going about it all wrong. Seriously, while some people may consider it entertaining, there are better ways to try and crack that thing. Trust me, it can't be any tougher than walking fifteen miles in the snow just to get to an inn-- actually, yes. It was uphill both ways.
In any case, I don't believe for a second that only the zombies are doing something. Surely someone else must be trying to get out? It's either that or they're all waiting for some punk kid with a sword and a dumb outfit to come along and make with the heroics and whisk them all onto the sunset with a shining white horse. Yes, I know it's stupid, that's the point. Or do I have something on my face?
Ah. I see. Sorry, but while I may be a little down on my luck, I'm not desperate enough to join up with a party of zombies that can't even keep track of their heads, let alone any other appendages. It's not that heroics are a bad thing, per se, but it'd be better to leave it up to someone who won't fall apart, literally or metaphorically, at the sight of an enemy. Experience nothing, it doesn't matter if you used to fight, you're still losing all your teeth. I am definitely not 'some delicious young ragamuffin' either, so don't treat me like one! I just happen to age very well.
...No, that does not mean I go better with chicken.
Poll Vote!
Character: C.C.
Series: Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion
Character Age: Unknown, possibly hundreds of years old - appears to be around 16
Canon: Code Geass is Sunrise's newest epic mecha war story, featuring character designs by CLAMP. In the not-too-distant future, Japan is overthrown by the Holy Britannian Empire, and is hence renamed 'Area 11'. The series chronicles a rebellion (obviously) led by our main character, Lelouch Lamperouge, whom for spoilery reasons has just had enough of Britannia and its iron fist. But said rebellion would not be possible had it not been for his chance encounter with a girl called C.C. (which is actually pronounced 'C-2'), who was previously being held by Britannia for experimental purposes. C.C. gives Lelouch a power called 'Geass', which allows him to briefly control anyone's mind once. C.C. loses this power upon transferring it to him, but it also does not work on her.
C.C. is very mysterious and does not show a whole lot of emotion; she's very skeptical and anti-social, and she usually just observes a situation (or mission) until she thinks she is needed. She ignores Lelouch a lot of the time, aside from the fact that she pops up to save him occasionally, hides out in his house, steals his bed and uses his money to order Pizza Hut (Code Geass is very liberally sprinkled with Pizza Hut product placement; through collecting Pizza Hut points, C.C. obtains 'Cheese-kun', a stuffed cheese nugget with a hat). While she appears human, it is clear that she is not-perhaps an alien or some kind of artificial creation. Besides being immune to Geass, her abilities include rapid healing, telepathy, possible immortality, and complete apathy.
Sample Post:
This must be some kind of joke. I'm not a fan of jokes, and this one is definitely not funny.
It's come to my attention that the director of this place, apparently called "Camp Fuck You Die", has suspicions that I may have murdered someone. This is a woman I've never even seen we are talking about. What if I did do it? She can't keep me imprisoned here forever. I do not fear her, nor her so-called "impenetrable barrier". It can't actually be impenetrable, anyway-you're telling me that a summer camp that doesn't even operate at the right time of the year somehow has a giant magical wall surrounding it? I'll believe that when I see it.
...Oh, me? You may call me C.C., but I would frankly prefer you didn't speak to me at all. If I am to stay here-lucky me-I will require Pizza Hut and a gun. Pizza Hut because I am hungry and I happen to collect their points; a gun just in case any of the colorful local wildlife makes the unwise decision to come too close to me. (Yes, I've seen that thing in your lake, if you can even call it a lake. How much food coloring did it take to get it to look like that?)
I suppose it goes without saying that my observations of this place have proven it to be quite strange (in addition to being remarkably ugly, that is). There is a breed of dirty and foul-smelling humanoids roaming around nearby. I daresay they may be the fabled "zombies" I have heard of once or twice. Clearly my understanding of humankind has been challenged-I had been under the impression that when they die, they stay dead. Frankly, after I caught a whiff of a pack of them as they closed in on me asking quite rudely for a vital organ, I am inclined to believe that death would have been a more prudent choice.
I see that I have been given a gun-a bit shoddy and old-fashioned, but I suppose it will do. But if you'll remember, I asked for two things, and I have no qualms with using one of those things to get the other...
Oh, and one last thing: would the owner and/or creator of the...robotic cows please come forward? One of your creations has made off with something very important to me. He is not actually made of cheese, and if I find he's been eaten anyway, I will not hesitate to make some robot filet mignon out of your robot cow.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurogane
Series: Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE
Character Age: FUSHIGI MYSTERY, but looks 20-ish.
Canon: This is the story of princess Sakura, who, in a horrible twist of fate, lost all of her memories which turned into feathers and scattered across many worlds. Syaoran, her childhood best friend, and not-so-sekrit love interest swore to return them to her. And thus, with the help of Yuuko, the Witch of Dimensions, a magical journey full of cameos, crossovers, and the occasional gay vampire began.
Kurogane, also known as the Motherfucking Loudest Ninja Ever, and The Unholy Lovechild of Zaraki Kenpachi and Chuck Norris, got kicked out of his world by Cute Lesbian Princess Tomoyo for putting the laughter in manslaughter; and was sent to Yuuko's shop so that he could travel to other worlds and learn the true meaning of strength. Ultimately, against his will, he joined the Feather Search Party in hopes that he would one day be able to return to Japan, his home country.
He is brave, proud, determined, and more often than not, the only member of the group with common sense (though terribly short-tempered). Kurogane will never back down from a challenge; and in true shounen retard fashion, fighting and opportunities to prove his strength are a few of his favorite things. However, underneath his Bad Ninja attitude, lies a caring and loyal friend who will go to any lenght in order to protect those most important to him.
Note: In the series, Mokona serves as a pocket Babel fish for the party. In other words, as long as they're relatively close to it, they will be able to understand each other, and the language of the country they're in.
Sample Post:
The country of Camp Fuck You Die, huh? The name sounded kinda ominous and promising at first, but I gotta say. I'm really disappointed. Gettin' rid of those undead bastards was the easiest thing I've done all week and I don't even have my sword with me. Not to mention it takes 'em forever to find their missing limbs and attack again. Ch, at least give me something that'll keep me entertained for more than two minutes.
I still haven't found the others, but they can't be too far since I can understand most of what the natives here say... including some of the animals. Really, parrots are one thing, but a toucan? YES, I'M TALKING TO YOU, FEATHERBRAINS. I CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD AND IT'S NOT. FUNNY. Stop it or I'll have to muzzle you with the clothes that're hangin' from that tree and--
LISTEN I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE NOT A D-CUP OR WHATEVER THE HELL THAT'S SUPPOSED TO MEAN, JUST SHUT UP.
Yeah, that's better. And I guess this would be a good time to take a look at the stuff I got when I landed here, at least until a worthy opponent shows up.
Let's see... is this a TV? Oh. Nah, it's just a piece of crap computer. I don't care if it's serious business, I won't learn any stupid rules of the internets! On the other hand, I wonder if I can trade this gun-thing for something more sharp and pointy, even a kitchen knife'd be better! And what kinda ridiculous "Ninja Survival Kit" is this supposed to be? Fishnet? No thanks, I can catch my meals without any of that of crap. And this box of 'emo' is empty, talk about a ripoff. What's next?
Haah... interesting. But these things are just too round and smooth to be shuriken. I don't get i-- Oh, wait, they're called... 'dots'?
. . .
Heeeeh.
ALRIGHT YOU GIANT SQUID THING, I'VE GOT SOME DOTS AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE 'EM, SO GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE SO WE CAN FIND OUT! THIS IS YOUR HANDICAP, BRING IT ON!
Poll Vote!
Character: Cecile
Series: Suikoden III (manga)
Character Age: 12
Canon: Suikoden III is the story about a conflict between two countries, the Grasslands and Zexen. The war soon spreads, and many Grasslanders are forced to flee from their homes. They take refuge in Budehuc Castle, which lies on the border between the two nations. Cecile inherited her father's position as Captain of the Guard there, but she's earned it many times over; she patrols daily with the help of several volunteer recruits and a pack of adorable dogs.
Cecile is extremely energetic and enthusiastic, putting 110% of her energy into defending the castle. She's fiercely loyal to Thomas, the castle lord, and supports him in anything he does. In addition, she's optimistic and friendly to most people, unless they might be a threat; then they meet the business end of her spear. Cecile is also easily excitable and prone to stuttering, but she has moments of maturity and wisdom. While Cecile may not speak softly, she's carrying a big stick and she knows how to use it.
Sample Post:
Wake up, guys! The sun's shining and it's a great day for training, so let's get started! Look, even the wildlife is excited to see us; they're setting a great example for us to follow! E-except we'll only be pretending to kill each other because this is just practice. We can try some real life situations later, if all of you are ready! But first, please stop chewing on my helmet. It's good that you're ready and willing to sink your teeth into this, but that isn't the proper way to salute your captain. Your friend lost the rest of his teeth yesterday when he tried it.
Oh, speaking of your friend, I can't keep calling all of you "Mr. Green-wobbly-bits" or "Mr. Has-one-and-a-half-arms," so I thought of a name for the group! It'll make things easier, plus having a name improves morale because it represents the connection between all of us--sorry I d-didn't mean that literally! Can you get back in line? Thanks! Anyway, what do you guys think of being called the Breakneck Response for Amorous Interception and Neutralization Squad? We can call it "BRAINS" for short, because I know you guys can remember that!
So now that that's settled, let's do some patrolling! Come on, guys! Stop shuffling and be more enthusiastic! Lift those legs higher, b-but not high enough for them to fall off because I don't have any string left to tie them back on with. And you! You're not allowed to play "keep away" with your neighbors' body parts, even if he insulted your mother. That isn't professional behavior, so give it back to him right now--and stop making rude gestures at him with his own hand!
...okay, maybe we'll have to come back to marching later, once everyone's found all their limbs again. In the meantime, let's practice the motto! Say it with me, everyone! If you're in trouble, just blow a whistle! We're the BRAINS and we'll come, rain or shine! Ready? ONE TWO THREE FOUR, WE'LL KICK THEIR HORMONES OUT THE DOOR. FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT, WE'LL MAKE SURE THEY DON'T MASTU-
...wait, who changed the last line?! That isn't even funny!
Poll Vote!
Character: Lazlo
Series: Suikoden IV
Character Age: Late teens
Canon: The Suikoden series is well-known for two common themes - war and Rune angst. Suikoden IV is no exception to the rule. This time, it centers around a group of people trying to save the Island Nations from the violent invasion of the Kooluk empire, assembling an army of 108 Stars of Destiny along the way.
Lazlo is the protagonist of Suikoden IV and the bearer of the Rune of Punishment, which gradually consumes the life of its bearer. Despite the heavy burden the Rune places on him, Lazlo manages to come across as heroic, driven, charismatic, calm, patient, and very forgiving, traits that helped him overcome both the Kooluk forces and his own Rune's curse. While Lazlo is serious and intense when he has a task he needs to accomplish, once the war's over he's more likely to be found just chilling out on a tropical island.
Sample Post:
Next time some unknown stranger asks if I can rescue his "lovely kiss-kiss precious sparkle wife Marcy-chan" from the depths of a mysterious uncharted island known only as 'CFUD', I'm just going to walk away. Before I end up knee-deep in mud and ooze. I mean, I somehow managed to lose track of not only my ship and its entire crew, but also the ocean itself within thirty seconds of setting foot here. How do you lose the damn ocean?
And these zombies aren't being very helpful, either. I know you can't help dropping limbs left and right, but it doesn't take much to pick them up afterward, and it's way more hygienic without rotting limbs all over the place. But then again, it doesn't look like you're all too concerned with things like hygiene, given that you've been trying to juggle your own head for the last ten minutes. You know it doesn't work unless you have more than one thing, right?
So while you're collecting enough heads to properly juggle them, I think I'll just be leaving now. It's been fun, but I'd really better get to doing what I came here to do. If I just keep walking, I'll get somewhere eventually, and maybe it'll even be the place I want to go.
...Or it could be a lake. This is really a poor substitute for a missing ocean. It's not even a very nice lake, what with the glowing and the giant monster and the huge sign propped up saying 'BEWARE OF MARCY'-- Wait, 'Marcy' as in 'lovely kiss-kiss etcetera etcetera etcetera'? Marcy is the giant monster? ...Well, I guess that really sheds some light on that mysterious stranger earlier- I mean, his "wife"? A tentacle monster.
But I didn't come all the way here and go through all of that for nothing, so tentacle monster or not, I'm going to do what I said I would: Mrs. Marcy, I'm sure you miss your ...husband - he certainly misses you, anyway. So much that he asked a random stranger to rescue you for him. So you're willing to work together like civilized peopl- like a civilized person and a tentacle monster, for the sake of getting out of this place, right?
I hope that vaguely ominous way you're waving your tentacles means 'yes'.
[Marcy has joined the 108 Stars of Destiny!]
Poll Vote!