(no subject)
WHAT UP GUYS. I'M BACK FROM MY SECRET OVERNIGHT MISSION AND HAVE THE SECOND ROUND. and now I have to sleep. So hard. T-tired
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed! |D
Character: Hitsugaya Toushirou
Series: Bleach
Character Age: Unknown (appears 12/13)
Canon: Welcome to Bleach, the fun-filled adventures of the dead-and-kicking with a backdrop of frequent phallic imagery, amounts of blood that could keep the Red Cross in business for years, and sweet, sweet crack. But there is method to the madness: shinigami, who manage the souls of the deceased, organized themselves into a system of thirteen divisions in the afterlife, or Soul Society. Whether they pick the division captains for talent or sheer weirdness is up for debate, but that's another story.
As captain of the tenth division, Hitsugaya is serious about his job. Very serious. However, much to his chagrin, it is rare that anyone actually takes him seriously. Looking like shoutabait and barely reaching 4'4" does that, no matter how many times he tells people to quit with the nicknames and candy pushing.
Not surprisingly, Hitsugaya's interactions with others are all thorn and bristle from his end. His typical attitude centers on a distinct sense of "Why is everyone around me a complete idiot?" and he often speaks with according disdain, if not outright irritation. And it's easy to push his buttons; Matsumoto, his busty vice captain, is especially talented in this area. But if you really set him off (usually by laying a hand on someone he cares about), be prepared to deal with the consequences-he has the strongest ice-type zanpakutou in Soul Society and can summon a winter wonderland of hell.
Sample post:
So this is the so-called "summer camp"? Tch. For your information, we received the first request for assistance - the four hundred and seventy-three follow-ups were unnecessary. As was the abuse of exclamation marks in them. Do you bastards realize how long it took me to sort through all of those? In any case, Commander General Yamamoto sent me to straighten your. . . situation out.
My name is Hitsugaya Toushirou, head of the tenth division of the Gotei-13. I will be handling the investigation of the high levels of Enhanced Mutative Occurrence reported within this establishment. Let's get a few things clear:
Oi. The last thing I need to know is how often my fellow officers - pay attention! Don't you understand that the sheer amount of E.M.O. contained here threatens to overthrow the balance of the world at large? Now hand over the real data, and don't make me explain my policy on personal space to you idiots again. I have better things to do than repeat myself.
. . . that's it. I'm calling for reinforcements. And before I go, let me say that it has not been a pleasure to meet you all.
-Oh, very funny. Whoever thought it was clever to place a height restriction on the exit, consider yourself fired.
Poll Vote!
Character: Manabe Kakeru
Series: Fruits Basket (Manga only)
Character Age: 17
Canon: It's a tough time growing up in the land of Fruits Basket. With curses and emo flying left and right, you can never be sure of who it's safe to hug. But in this crazy world of zodiac zoos, a shining beacon of normalcy stands out above the rest. That man is:
Manabe Kakeru.
Black ranger of the Student Defense Force, alleged lovechild of Sohma Shigure and Sohma Ayame, lover of porn and hero to us all~ In the land of Fruits Basket, Kakeru is the epitome of energy, insanity, and hyperbole. The vice-president to Sohma Yuki's ever-stoic student council presidency, Kakeru is a fun-loving, normal guy who passes his free time making fantastically impossible plans, then handing them off to Yuki to take care of while he finds a comfy spot for a nap. Kakeru is single-handedly responsible for turning the student council into a sentai-team of epic proportions (with himself as the black ranger) and combating the forces of emo to become Yunyun's (aka Yuki) bestest boyfriend ever. ♥
Permission has been obtained to mention Princess Sohma Yuki in this app.
Sample Post:
Vice President's Log: Day 1½:
I've been hiking for four hours and there's no camp in sight. The map said it was just a little bit further, but I don't know if I can walk any more! My feet ache! I'm exhausted! My strength…is slowly…draining… If there's anyone out there, tell Yunyun that I tried…my…best-ooh! Hey!
Excuse me, sir! Could you show me the way to-aah! You…you're a…a…yes! This has got to be it! I didn't think they were serious when they said President Yunyun got sent off to a place like this! The Pres is way too girly, and zombies really aren't his style anyways! But you! You've got so much makeup on that you're gory and disgusting and it's everything the brochure said it was!! The decaying flesh, the moaning for brains! The glowing lake and blood streaming from the showers to feed the ground that births forth glorious trees of alcohol and panties!
I have arrived!!
I couldn't believe it when I read that pamphlet but they say seeing is believing and this! Yes! This has made me a believer! I'm clapping as hard as I can! I do believe in camp, I do! I do!! I believe in the School Defense Force Summer Training Ca-huh?
Hey, your signs are totally wrong! "Camp Fuck You Die?" That sounds more like a porno title than a summer camp! A true student council vice president knows the time and place for porn and this is not it! Pornography is a noble pursuit to be shared between men in the privacy of their own rooms, a glorious experience of bonding, friendship, and camaraderie in the shared joys of sexual satisfaction! There's no place for fucking in this kind of summer camp!
Therefore I, Manabe Kakeru, reject you and your porn, Camp Fuck You Die! This is a place for leadership! For training! A place where, using these zombie masses as stand ins for the students of the world, I will learn the skills necessary to become a true and proud of the School Defense Force Vice President!
You've got that, zombies? From here on out, you're officially the newest inductees to the School Defense Force's Summer Reinforcements! The first order of business is to give you all your respective colors! You! You will be Defense Force Member Decaying Green! You! You're going to be Molding Yellow!
The rest of you! Umm…geeze! There's only so many ways you can describe the color of green and disgusting! Someone around here needs to get more creative with their color schemes! Just think of the surprise factor you'd get with Zombie Fighter Neon Pink!
Wait…that's it!
Attention zombie troops! Change of plans! From now on we're going to start project Color Change Camp Fuck You Die! To do this right we're going to need order, organization, and teamwork! Zombies who moan "Aaaaugh" are Squad One! You're in charge of gathering body paint! Zombies who moan in "Ooough" are Squad Two! You take care of getting paintbrushes! All other zombies and interested gorilla participants will form Squad Three, the Plastic Swimming Pool Party of Peril!
Once our supplies are gathered your orders will come from our glorious leader, School Defense Force President…YUNYUN! Oh, and you can ask Yunyun to take care of the paperwork? Finding this place was a real trip! I…think I'm ready for a nap~
Poll Vote!
Character: Silver Kay
Series: Dark
Savior
Character Age: Unspecified, but appears to be in her late teens.
Canon: Have you ever had one of those dreams that keeps
repeating itself to the point where you're not sure if you're awake
anymore? If the answer is no, you're in better shape than the cast of
Dark Savior, a science-fiction RPG that has it all. Highlights include
a prison island run by an insane warden! Evil twins! Experiments that
turn prisoners into monsters! Body-snatching creatures! Switch
puzzles! Middle Eastern Ninjas! Jalapeño pepper juice that gets people
drunk!
Silver Kay is one of those. A Middle Eastern ninja, that is, not a
bottle of jalapeño pepper juice. Working as a secret agent for the
Lavian government, Kay travels to Jailer's Island for personal as well
as professional reasons and longs for the freedom to live as she
chooses. A consummate professional, stubborn, intuitive, defiant in
the face of adversity and fiercely loyal to her family, she's also
stoic, straight to the point and her inability to take a joke gets her
compared to the main character's 7th-grade teacher. Kay has an
assortment of other likewise unfortunate tendencies such as finding it
difficult to trust others, resorting to bouts of self-pity when things
don't go as planned, coming up with aliases like "Cleopatra" and
"Jasmine Tea" and throwing roses as a distraction technique.
NOTE: A group of prisoners on Jailer's Island spend a better part of
the game organizing a rebellion. Said group is referred to as JLO, the
Jailer's Liberation Organization.
Sample Post:
...How did I get back here? I see the
Warden's been busy since the last time I was in Death Valley. That
monster in the lake...it's hard not to feel pity for such a creature.
Even if it probably was a sex offender when it used to be
human. As long as all it intends to do with those tentacles is gesture
obscenely at me, I cannot waste time on it. I need to find the JLO
base and get briefed on the next stage of my mission. You there,
you're the escort, correct? I'm Lavian Republic Special Battalion
Member Kay and I need you to take me to the JLO base immediately. I
know these things have to be changed often for security reasons, but
the code word to enter the base is still...what? Moorrraauurraugh? So
it has been changed! And it's so difficult, excellent security
measures!
This is the place? Are you sure? I could have sworn our
informant said the JLO base was underground, not out here in the
swamp. Despite the desperate conditions these prisoners are living in,
it's heartening to see them in such high spirits, although I wasn't
expecting them to make a literal song and dance about things.
And in sparkly hot pants, no less. Here goes
nothing...Moorrraauurraugh!
Now that's out of the way, I need to know what new information you
have about the Warden's plans. First you had a little, now you've got
a lot? That's great surveillance work! I don't see what makes you
think I'd be fooled by the rocks that you got though. It's all well
and good no matter where you go you know where you came from, but what
does that have to do with the investigation? I don't see how your love
not costing a thing is relevant, either, unless...I see. That's
what's going on around here. This isn't the rebellion's headquarters;
they're running a prostitution ring on the side. It's only natural for
there to be one set up so close to a town settlement, but with the
skin condition these people have, it's no wonder they aren't charging.
Look, I'm not trying to hate on you, I'm simply stating facts.
...Clearly these prisoners are not going to give me the information I
need.I didn't want to have to do this, but I'll have to enter the
prison's residential area incognito and see what I can find out there.
Hello, everyone! My name is Petunia Flowers and I've come here to have
a picnic! Would anyone care to join me? I've got Jalapeño pepper
juice~!
Poll Vote!
Character: Lucien Renlen/Dark Schneider
Series: Bastard!! Heavy Metal Dark Fantasy (Manga Version)
Character Age: 14/about 400
Canon: Take a drink every time Dark Schneider is naked.
Take a drink every time Dark Schneider says his own name and/or praises himself.
Take a drink every time Dark Schneider 'dies.'
Take a drink every time an American band/singer is referenced.
Take a drink every time the fourth wall is broken.
Take a drink every time a woman is molested.
Take a drink every time Dark Schneider is put in his place by a girl-child half his size.
If you can still stand by the end of the third episode, you're doing it wrong.
Fifteen years ago, the most powerful wizard in the known world was trapped in the body of an infant. Now, that soul is the only hope for the kingdom of Metallicana, as the seals of the God of Destruction Anthrax--hidden in the capital cities of White Snake, Iron Maiden, Judas, and Metallicana--are broken by the forces of evil.
Of course, when the hope of four nations rests with Dark Schneider, it's probably best to expect the worst. Little Lucien Renlen, a fourteen-year-old who looks and acts more like he's eight, is the cage for our favorite womanizer. And all it takes is a virgin's kiss (or a convenient plot hole) transform the innocent boy into the 'Lord of The Fiery Explosion."
Any takers?
Sample Post:
BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
I am here! Bow down and worship me, you feeble mortals. Feast your eyes upon me, Dark Schneider, the handsome, charming, all-powerful main character! Women beg to spend one night with me! Never fear, darling virgins, I'll get to you all! I can feel your anticipation, for I, Dark Schneider, am a GOD.
…Why aren't you bowing down? What the hell is wrong with you? Do you not know greatness when you see it? I…
Abigail's already been here, damn necromancer. Fucking zombies can't even do a proper bow. WHAT IS THE POINT OF A WOMAN IF HER VIRGINITY HAS ROTTED AWAY? No man with such an insatiable love for the dead could ever understand the greatness that comes from taking over the world! Let the peasants rule it; I just want the women.
Where the hell does this place keep its towns? In the middle of the goddamn swamp? There's no paths! Fuck this!
Explosive Wall of Guns And Roses!
...That's no city. That's a fucking gorilla nest. Hey, hey! Get the hell away from me! What the fuck do you want? Get your mangy hands off me, I'm your fucking ruler! You're supposed to give me all your hot women! Now!
. . .
NO WAY! How the hell are you a virgin?! This game sucks!
*poof*
Where am I? 'M I lost again? S'okay. I see a lotta water over there! I'll do my laundry while'm waitin' for someone to find me. C'I do yours? Please? I like doin' laundry!
Poll Vote!
Character: Ryouga Hibiki
Series: Ranma 1/2 (http://www.furinkan.com/ranma/)
Character Age: 17
Canon: Ryouga Hibiki is the primary rival of
Ranma Saotome, the sex changing martial artist who's the main character
of Ranma 1/2, who has amassed a large group of girls who are engaged to
marry him, and a large amount of people after his blood. Ryouga's held a
massive grudge against Ranma for a long time, even for things which
aren't his fault. However, he has a horrible sense of direction: it once
took him four days to reach a vacant lot 500 yards from his own house.
Because of Ranma and his horrible sense of direction, Ryouga is cursed
by the springs of Jusenkyo in China to become a small black piglet on
contact with cold water. Despite this unfortunate setback, his piglet
form has become the pet of Akane Tendou, Ranma's main fiancee, and
through this Ryouga's fallen deeply in love with her.
He's somewhat shy and reserved with girls, especially Akane, and is
often gullible, having fallen for Ranma's various paper-thin disguises.
He can be very emotional, often expressing boundless joy,
white-hot rage, and extremely heavy depression, which incidentally fuels
his strongest attack, the Shi Shi Hokoudan, a bright green ball of
"heavy" depression chi that can be fired out through the hands, like
Ryu's Hadouken, or up into the air like a pillar of light, to plummet to
Earth like a particularly large anvil. His rivalry with Ranma, though
still burning, is tempered with respect for him as well, and they have
helped each other on a regular basis.
Sample Post:
WHERE THE HELL AM I?
This is too weird even for me. I keep passing the same few buildings and
people once every day, and there's some sort of strange boundary
blocking my path. Plus, my wanderings are disturbing these
strange...things that are around the place...
Hey there! Can you tell me the way to... No, I don't have any brains on
me and you're not eating any of mine, so get off from me! Back
off! Just tell me where the Tendou Dojo is! This isn't Tokyo?
Hokkaido, maybe? Lousiana? Is that in Hokkaido, or what? This way? What,
that way? Thank you!
Dammit, it's really frustrating to try and make your way through camp
without several gorillas who seem to be disturbingly interested in you,
rather than in showing you around. The toucans and those weird flesh
things have been helpful at least, even though it was hard to understand
what they're trying to say. They also offered me something to Akane when
I got back, but I don't think she'll enjoy police tape and a bloodied
nurse's outfit...
And this squirrel have been trying to be helpful and show me the way
out, but he's not very good at leading people around here. And the way
that it kept changing colour and shape every time I took my eyes off him
was a little strange and disconcerting.
I still miss Akane. How long has I been since I saw her last, ten days?
Eleven? How I wish to see her lovely face again... The way she looks so
kindly at me, the way she helps me even if she doesn't know what's she's
doing, the righteous rage on her beautiful face when she hits that
idiotic Ranma again and again! I'd even make myself a pig again for her,
just so she can hold me once more! Oh, Akane! How I long for you...!
No...! I have to hold back! If I do a perfect Shi Shi Hokoudan, that
might make the people here wondering about "green lights in the sky",
like that time in Kyoto... Plus I really have to watch myself while I'm
like this; some people might notice those trees were knocked over...
I can just keep trudging on, searching for a way out of this place...
Maybe soon I can see Akane and tell her how I really feel and she'll
love me for ever and ever. I can ask her out and she can tell me how
much she cares for me and loves me and I can take her away from Saotome
once and for all...
But I must keep on. What are the chances of running into Akane in a
place like this?
Poll Vote!
Character: Donatello
Series: TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Character Age: I think the Teenage is kind of implied.
Canon: Ninjas are mammals? Wrong. In a series of extraordinarily coincidental events, four baby turtles were dropped into the sewer at the exact same time as a canister of mysterious, glowing ooze. Mutating into walking, talking turtles through the magic of CARTOON SCIENCE, they were raised by their equally mutant rat-dad Splinter, a ninjutsu master who spent his time training them in the fine art of fighting all the time, and flipping out and...well, flipping out.
The geek of the group, Donatello is a giant science nerd with an aptitude for technology and engineering. Preferring to solve problems with brain rather than brawn, he makes for an ironic combination of pacifist and ninja. Though easily the most levelheaded of his brothers, he lacks the aggressive, take-charge attitude; he would rather sit back and provide comments from the peanut gallery than attempt to lead anyone. That said, he's definitely not opposed to kicking the crap out of someone in the proper situation. Science is swell at all, but sometimes you just need to hit someone until they stop moving, you know?
Sample Post:
After spending a few days in observation of the area, it's really not all that surprising that our little mutant problem led back here. I mean -- wow. Where to begin?
For one, the level of radioactivity coming from the lake is off the charts. Not that it should come as a big shock -- as if the glowing green colour wasn't hint enough, the remarkable effect it seems to have had on the surroundings is a pretty obvious tip that something is rotten in the state of Louisiana. Bizarre wildlife aside, spontaneous mutation appears to be such a common phenomenon among the local residents that it's come to the point where it's treated with about all the gravity of a common cold. You'd think that the affected would be more concerned with minimizing exposure than punching each other or eating cake, but I'm guessing these are the kind of people that natural selection favours by eliminating from the gene pool.
Even more disconcerting is the state of what I assume are the original inhabitants of the area. Tissue necrosis, skin discoloration, obvious decline of cognitive function...I can only guess that the sheer amount of time they've spent in the area has caused their minds and bodies to deteriorate to their current state. It could be confirmed with a tissue sample, but the fact that they don't really seem capable of holding a conversation makes one kind of difficult to get. Seriously, what am I supposed to do? Walk up to them and say 'Excuse me sir, but could I have a piece of your --'
Huh. Well the fact that they seem to be shedding body parts is kind of horrifying, but I guess that all things considered, it would be a bad idea to look a gift horse -- or arm -- in the mouth. At the very least, they're dull enough that I doubt attempting to sneak in to grab it is even going to be an issue; all I have to do is...huh? Well yes, I guess you could call me the brains of the -- please guys, I know this must be a little alarming, but there's really no need to call over all your friends. The whole angry mob thing is so cliché, trust me. If we could all just put down the torches and...dinner forks...we could...
...Oh, shell.
Character: Donatello
Series: TMNT
Character Age: Teenage!
Canon:Each ninja turtle has their own defining traits, and everyone familar
knows that Donatello's would be his technical and scholarly know-how, as you can often
find him tinkering with computer equipment or with his nose stuck in a book rather
than practicing his katas.
That's not to say that Donatello is useless in a fight! Slow to anger, Donatello is
the most pacifistic of his brothers, opting to think things through more often than to
smash heads and ask questions later-- and considering he's a giant mutant turtle? That's
a good way to avoid deadly misunderstandings. But when he's needed, he's just as
trustworthy to defend his brothers.
Sample Post:
Turtle's Log --
I've only been scouting out the place for a little while, and you can color me impressed! The
way these creatures have all thrived in an artificially controlled environment is quite
phenomenal! Some of the fauna here I never could've dreamed possible... especially these
zombies! I thought maybe Mikey made me watch too many horror movies and I was having a bad
dream when I saw them, the thought of the living dead was too campy for my tastes.
But I've managed to get a sample- when I asked them to give me a hand with my equipment, they took me
literally- of their DNA, and from what I can tell they are definitely human!
Or at least, they were. I haven't figured out exactly what's keeping them alive; my
first attempts at finding out ended up with them trying to take my temporal lobe ransom.
Since then I've made progress, it seems they communicate with a form of interpretive
dance. It's actually quite interesting-- see, while on first impression it may look like
they are actually verbalising to each other, in reality those are more of a qualifier, they add
context to the dance. Once I understood that, they accepted me right away, they refer to me as
Bright Eyes, which I think is a bit ironic, all considering. They warned me about a strange squid
in the lake they say is a bit unfriendly, I... think. I can't be sure, I haven't quite figured
out what they mean by thier pelvic thrusts, other than they're horrible dancers. While I
appreciate the irony of the undead dancing to 'Stayin' Alive', they're no John Travolta.
And we can all be grateful for that, I haven't enjoyed any of his movies since Phenomenon. Battlefield Earth was horrible,
I much prefer the book.
No, wait, are they...singing? Maybe I can decipher this, it sounds like a show tune of some sort...
Got it! 'Donatello does machines'...?
...oh, so that's what the pelvic thrusts meant.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed! |D
Character: Hitsugaya Toushirou
Series: Bleach
Character Age: Unknown (appears 12/13)
Canon: Welcome to Bleach, the fun-filled adventures of the dead-and-kicking with a backdrop of frequent phallic imagery, amounts of blood that could keep the Red Cross in business for years, and sweet, sweet crack. But there is method to the madness: shinigami, who manage the souls of the deceased, organized themselves into a system of thirteen divisions in the afterlife, or Soul Society. Whether they pick the division captains for talent or sheer weirdness is up for debate, but that's another story.
As captain of the tenth division, Hitsugaya is serious about his job. Very serious. However, much to his chagrin, it is rare that anyone actually takes him seriously. Looking like shoutabait and barely reaching 4'4" does that, no matter how many times he tells people to quit with the nicknames and candy pushing.
Not surprisingly, Hitsugaya's interactions with others are all thorn and bristle from his end. His typical attitude centers on a distinct sense of "Why is everyone around me a complete idiot?" and he often speaks with according disdain, if not outright irritation. And it's easy to push his buttons; Matsumoto, his busty vice captain, is especially talented in this area. But if you really set him off (usually by laying a hand on someone he cares about), be prepared to deal with the consequences-he has the strongest ice-type zanpakutou in Soul Society and can summon a winter wonderland of hell.
Sample post:
So this is the so-called "summer camp"? Tch. For your information, we received the first request for assistance - the four hundred and seventy-three follow-ups were unnecessary. As was the abuse of exclamation marks in them. Do you bastards realize how long it took me to sort through all of those? In any case, Commander General Yamamoto sent me to straighten your. . . situation out.
My name is Hitsugaya Toushirou, head of the tenth division of the Gotei-13. I will be handling the investigation of the high levels of Enhanced Mutative Occurrence reported within this establishment. Let's get a few things clear:
- My proper title is Captain Hitsugaya. Any other title is unacceptable. And as of today, that includes "Ice Ice Baby." In other words, stop repeating it right now.
- I do not appreciate assertions that I am unqualified for my position. If there's anyone that questions my ability, speak up now and I can arrange a more private meeting later. I advise that you bring a scarf.
- Contrary to popular belief, I do not double as a shoulder rest. Or any kind of rest, for that matter. If Matsumoto wore her uniform correctly, I'd have not one but two weights off my shoulders. Don't try me on this.
Oi. The last thing I need to know is how often my fellow officers - pay attention! Don't you understand that the sheer amount of E.M.O. contained here threatens to overthrow the balance of the world at large? Now hand over the real data, and don't make me explain my policy on personal space to you idiots again. I have better things to do than repeat myself.
. . . that's it. I'm calling for reinforcements. And before I go, let me say that it has not been a pleasure to meet you all.
-Oh, very funny. Whoever thought it was clever to place a height restriction on the exit, consider yourself fired.
Poll Vote!
Character: Manabe Kakeru
Series: Fruits Basket (Manga only)
Character Age: 17
Canon: It's a tough time growing up in the land of Fruits Basket. With curses and emo flying left and right, you can never be sure of who it's safe to hug. But in this crazy world of zodiac zoos, a shining beacon of normalcy stands out above the rest. That man is:
Manabe Kakeru.
Black ranger of the Student Defense Force, alleged lovechild of Sohma Shigure and Sohma Ayame, lover of porn and hero to us all~ In the land of Fruits Basket, Kakeru is the epitome of energy, insanity, and hyperbole. The vice-president to Sohma Yuki's ever-stoic student council presidency, Kakeru is a fun-loving, normal guy who passes his free time making fantastically impossible plans, then handing them off to Yuki to take care of while he finds a comfy spot for a nap. Kakeru is single-handedly responsible for turning the student council into a sentai-team of epic proportions (with himself as the black ranger) and combating the forces of emo to become Yunyun's (aka Yuki) bestest boyfriend ever. ♥
Permission has been obtained to mention Princess Sohma Yuki in this app.
Sample Post:
Vice President's Log: Day 1½:
I've been hiking for four hours and there's no camp in sight. The map said it was just a little bit further, but I don't know if I can walk any more! My feet ache! I'm exhausted! My strength…is slowly…draining… If there's anyone out there, tell Yunyun that I tried…my…best-ooh! Hey!
Excuse me, sir! Could you show me the way to-aah! You…you're a…a…yes! This has got to be it! I didn't think they were serious when they said President Yunyun got sent off to a place like this! The Pres is way too girly, and zombies really aren't his style anyways! But you! You've got so much makeup on that you're gory and disgusting and it's everything the brochure said it was!! The decaying flesh, the moaning for brains! The glowing lake and blood streaming from the showers to feed the ground that births forth glorious trees of alcohol and panties!
I have arrived!!
I couldn't believe it when I read that pamphlet but they say seeing is believing and this! Yes! This has made me a believer! I'm clapping as hard as I can! I do believe in camp, I do! I do!! I believe in the School Defense Force Summer Training Ca-huh?
Hey, your signs are totally wrong! "Camp Fuck You Die?" That sounds more like a porno title than a summer camp! A true student council vice president knows the time and place for porn and this is not it! Pornography is a noble pursuit to be shared between men in the privacy of their own rooms, a glorious experience of bonding, friendship, and camaraderie in the shared joys of sexual satisfaction! There's no place for fucking in this kind of summer camp!
Therefore I, Manabe Kakeru, reject you and your porn, Camp Fuck You Die! This is a place for leadership! For training! A place where, using these zombie masses as stand ins for the students of the world, I will learn the skills necessary to become a true and proud of the School Defense Force Vice President!
You've got that, zombies? From here on out, you're officially the newest inductees to the School Defense Force's Summer Reinforcements! The first order of business is to give you all your respective colors! You! You will be Defense Force Member Decaying Green! You! You're going to be Molding Yellow!
The rest of you! Umm…geeze! There's only so many ways you can describe the color of green and disgusting! Someone around here needs to get more creative with their color schemes! Just think of the surprise factor you'd get with Zombie Fighter Neon Pink!
Wait…that's it!
Attention zombie troops! Change of plans! From now on we're going to start project Color Change Camp Fuck You Die! To do this right we're going to need order, organization, and teamwork! Zombies who moan "Aaaaugh" are Squad One! You're in charge of gathering body paint! Zombies who moan in "Ooough" are Squad Two! You take care of getting paintbrushes! All other zombies and interested gorilla participants will form Squad Three, the Plastic Swimming Pool Party of Peril!
Once our supplies are gathered your orders will come from our glorious leader, School Defense Force President…YUNYUN! Oh, and you can ask Yunyun to take care of the paperwork? Finding this place was a real trip! I…think I'm ready for a nap~
Poll Vote!
Character: Silver Kay
Series: Dark
Savior
Character Age: Unspecified, but appears to be in her late teens.
Canon: Have you ever had one of those dreams that keeps
repeating itself to the point where you're not sure if you're awake
anymore? If the answer is no, you're in better shape than the cast of
Dark Savior, a science-fiction RPG that has it all. Highlights include
a prison island run by an insane warden! Evil twins! Experiments that
turn prisoners into monsters! Body-snatching creatures! Switch
puzzles! Middle Eastern Ninjas! Jalapeño pepper juice that gets people
drunk!
Silver Kay is one of those. A Middle Eastern ninja, that is, not a
bottle of jalapeño pepper juice. Working as a secret agent for the
Lavian government, Kay travels to Jailer's Island for personal as well
as professional reasons and longs for the freedom to live as she
chooses. A consummate professional, stubborn, intuitive, defiant in
the face of adversity and fiercely loyal to her family, she's also
stoic, straight to the point and her inability to take a joke gets her
compared to the main character's 7th-grade teacher. Kay has an
assortment of other likewise unfortunate tendencies such as finding it
difficult to trust others, resorting to bouts of self-pity when things
don't go as planned, coming up with aliases like "Cleopatra" and
"Jasmine Tea" and throwing roses as a distraction technique.
NOTE: A group of prisoners on Jailer's Island spend a better part of
the game organizing a rebellion. Said group is referred to as JLO, the
Jailer's Liberation Organization.
Sample Post:
...How did I get back here? I see the
Warden's been busy since the last time I was in Death Valley. That
monster in the lake...it's hard not to feel pity for such a creature.
Even if it probably was a sex offender when it used to be
human. As long as all it intends to do with those tentacles is gesture
obscenely at me, I cannot waste time on it. I need to find the JLO
base and get briefed on the next stage of my mission. You there,
you're the escort, correct? I'm Lavian Republic Special Battalion
Member Kay and I need you to take me to the JLO base immediately. I
know these things have to be changed often for security reasons, but
the code word to enter the base is still...what? Moorrraauurraugh? So
it has been changed! And it's so difficult, excellent security
measures!
This is the place? Are you sure? I could have sworn our
informant said the JLO base was underground, not out here in the
swamp. Despite the desperate conditions these prisoners are living in,
it's heartening to see them in such high spirits, although I wasn't
expecting them to make a literal song and dance about things.
And in sparkly hot pants, no less. Here goes
nothing...Moorrraauurraugh!
Now that's out of the way, I need to know what new information you
have about the Warden's plans. First you had a little, now you've got
a lot? That's great surveillance work! I don't see what makes you
think I'd be fooled by the rocks that you got though. It's all well
and good no matter where you go you know where you came from, but what
does that have to do with the investigation? I don't see how your love
not costing a thing is relevant, either, unless...I see. That's
what's going on around here. This isn't the rebellion's headquarters;
they're running a prostitution ring on the side. It's only natural for
there to be one set up so close to a town settlement, but with the
skin condition these people have, it's no wonder they aren't charging.
Look, I'm not trying to hate on you, I'm simply stating facts.
...Clearly these prisoners are not going to give me the information I
need.I didn't want to have to do this, but I'll have to enter the
prison's residential area incognito and see what I can find out there.
Hello, everyone! My name is Petunia Flowers and I've come here to have
a picnic! Would anyone care to join me? I've got Jalapeño pepper
juice~!
Poll Vote!
Character: Lucien Renlen/Dark Schneider
Series: Bastard!! Heavy Metal Dark Fantasy (Manga Version)
Character Age: 14/about 400
Canon: Take a drink every time Dark Schneider is naked.
Take a drink every time Dark Schneider says his own name and/or praises himself.
Take a drink every time Dark Schneider 'dies.'
Take a drink every time an American band/singer is referenced.
Take a drink every time the fourth wall is broken.
Take a drink every time a woman is molested.
Take a drink every time Dark Schneider is put in his place by a girl-child half his size.
If you can still stand by the end of the third episode, you're doing it wrong.
Fifteen years ago, the most powerful wizard in the known world was trapped in the body of an infant. Now, that soul is the only hope for the kingdom of Metallicana, as the seals of the God of Destruction Anthrax--hidden in the capital cities of White Snake, Iron Maiden, Judas, and Metallicana--are broken by the forces of evil.
Of course, when the hope of four nations rests with Dark Schneider, it's probably best to expect the worst. Little Lucien Renlen, a fourteen-year-old who looks and acts more like he's eight, is the cage for our favorite womanizer. And all it takes is a virgin's kiss (or a convenient plot hole) transform the innocent boy into the 'Lord of The Fiery Explosion."
Any takers?
Sample Post:
BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
I am here! Bow down and worship me, you feeble mortals. Feast your eyes upon me, Dark Schneider, the handsome, charming, all-powerful main character! Women beg to spend one night with me! Never fear, darling virgins, I'll get to you all! I can feel your anticipation, for I, Dark Schneider, am a GOD.
…Why aren't you bowing down? What the hell is wrong with you? Do you not know greatness when you see it? I…
Abigail's already been here, damn necromancer. Fucking zombies can't even do a proper bow. WHAT IS THE POINT OF A WOMAN IF HER VIRGINITY HAS ROTTED AWAY? No man with such an insatiable love for the dead could ever understand the greatness that comes from taking over the world! Let the peasants rule it; I just want the women.
Where the hell does this place keep its towns? In the middle of the goddamn swamp? There's no paths! Fuck this!
Explosive Wall of Guns And Roses!
...That's no city. That's a fucking gorilla nest. Hey, hey! Get the hell away from me! What the fuck do you want? Get your mangy hands off me, I'm your fucking ruler! You're supposed to give me all your hot women! Now!
. . .
NO WAY! How the hell are you a virgin?! This game sucks!
*poof*
Where am I? 'M I lost again? S'okay. I see a lotta water over there! I'll do my laundry while'm waitin' for someone to find me. C'I do yours? Please? I like doin' laundry!
Poll Vote!
Character: Ryouga Hibiki
Series: Ranma 1/2 (http://www.furinkan.com/ranma/)
Character Age: 17
Canon: Ryouga Hibiki is the primary rival of
Ranma Saotome, the sex changing martial artist who's the main character
of Ranma 1/2, who has amassed a large group of girls who are engaged to
marry him, and a large amount of people after his blood. Ryouga's held a
massive grudge against Ranma for a long time, even for things which
aren't his fault. However, he has a horrible sense of direction: it once
took him four days to reach a vacant lot 500 yards from his own house.
Because of Ranma and his horrible sense of direction, Ryouga is cursed
by the springs of Jusenkyo in China to become a small black piglet on
contact with cold water. Despite this unfortunate setback, his piglet
form has become the pet of Akane Tendou, Ranma's main fiancee, and
through this Ryouga's fallen deeply in love with her.
He's somewhat shy and reserved with girls, especially Akane, and is
often gullible, having fallen for Ranma's various paper-thin disguises.
He can be very emotional, often expressing boundless joy,
white-hot rage, and extremely heavy depression, which incidentally fuels
his strongest attack, the Shi Shi Hokoudan, a bright green ball of
"heavy" depression chi that can be fired out through the hands, like
Ryu's Hadouken, or up into the air like a pillar of light, to plummet to
Earth like a particularly large anvil. His rivalry with Ranma, though
still burning, is tempered with respect for him as well, and they have
helped each other on a regular basis.
Sample Post:
WHERE THE HELL AM I?
This is too weird even for me. I keep passing the same few buildings and
people once every day, and there's some sort of strange boundary
blocking my path. Plus, my wanderings are disturbing these
strange...things that are around the place...
Hey there! Can you tell me the way to... No, I don't have any brains on
me and you're not eating any of mine, so get off from me! Back
off! Just tell me where the Tendou Dojo is! This isn't Tokyo?
Hokkaido, maybe? Lousiana? Is that in Hokkaido, or what? This way? What,
that way? Thank you!
Dammit, it's really frustrating to try and make your way through camp
without several gorillas who seem to be disturbingly interested in you,
rather than in showing you around. The toucans and those weird flesh
things have been helpful at least, even though it was hard to understand
what they're trying to say. They also offered me something to Akane when
I got back, but I don't think she'll enjoy police tape and a bloodied
nurse's outfit...
And this squirrel have been trying to be helpful and show me the way
out, but he's not very good at leading people around here. And the way
that it kept changing colour and shape every time I took my eyes off him
was a little strange and disconcerting.
I still miss Akane. How long has I been since I saw her last, ten days?
Eleven? How I wish to see her lovely face again... The way she looks so
kindly at me, the way she helps me even if she doesn't know what's she's
doing, the righteous rage on her beautiful face when she hits that
idiotic Ranma again and again! I'd even make myself a pig again for her,
just so she can hold me once more! Oh, Akane! How I long for you...!
No...! I have to hold back! If I do a perfect Shi Shi Hokoudan, that
might make the people here wondering about "green lights in the sky",
like that time in Kyoto... Plus I really have to watch myself while I'm
like this; some people might notice those trees were knocked over...
I can just keep trudging on, searching for a way out of this place...
Maybe soon I can see Akane and tell her how I really feel and she'll
love me for ever and ever. I can ask her out and she can tell me how
much she cares for me and loves me and I can take her away from Saotome
once and for all...
But I must keep on. What are the chances of running into Akane in a
place like this?
Poll Vote!
Character: Donatello
Series: TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Character Age: I think the Teenage is kind of implied.
Canon: Ninjas are mammals? Wrong. In a series of extraordinarily coincidental events, four baby turtles were dropped into the sewer at the exact same time as a canister of mysterious, glowing ooze. Mutating into walking, talking turtles through the magic of CARTOON SCIENCE, they were raised by their equally mutant rat-dad Splinter, a ninjutsu master who spent his time training them in the fine art of fighting all the time, and flipping out and...well, flipping out.
The geek of the group, Donatello is a giant science nerd with an aptitude for technology and engineering. Preferring to solve problems with brain rather than brawn, he makes for an ironic combination of pacifist and ninja. Though easily the most levelheaded of his brothers, he lacks the aggressive, take-charge attitude; he would rather sit back and provide comments from the peanut gallery than attempt to lead anyone. That said, he's definitely not opposed to kicking the crap out of someone in the proper situation. Science is swell at all, but sometimes you just need to hit someone until they stop moving, you know?
Sample Post:
After spending a few days in observation of the area, it's really not all that surprising that our little mutant problem led back here. I mean -- wow. Where to begin?
For one, the level of radioactivity coming from the lake is off the charts. Not that it should come as a big shock -- as if the glowing green colour wasn't hint enough, the remarkable effect it seems to have had on the surroundings is a pretty obvious tip that something is rotten in the state of Louisiana. Bizarre wildlife aside, spontaneous mutation appears to be such a common phenomenon among the local residents that it's come to the point where it's treated with about all the gravity of a common cold. You'd think that the affected would be more concerned with minimizing exposure than punching each other or eating cake, but I'm guessing these are the kind of people that natural selection favours by eliminating from the gene pool.
Even more disconcerting is the state of what I assume are the original inhabitants of the area. Tissue necrosis, skin discoloration, obvious decline of cognitive function...I can only guess that the sheer amount of time they've spent in the area has caused their minds and bodies to deteriorate to their current state. It could be confirmed with a tissue sample, but the fact that they don't really seem capable of holding a conversation makes one kind of difficult to get. Seriously, what am I supposed to do? Walk up to them and say 'Excuse me sir, but could I have a piece of your --'
Huh. Well the fact that they seem to be shedding body parts is kind of horrifying, but I guess that all things considered, it would be a bad idea to look a gift horse -- or arm -- in the mouth. At the very least, they're dull enough that I doubt attempting to sneak in to grab it is even going to be an issue; all I have to do is...huh? Well yes, I guess you could call me the brains of the -- please guys, I know this must be a little alarming, but there's really no need to call over all your friends. The whole angry mob thing is so cliché, trust me. If we could all just put down the torches and...dinner forks...we could...
...Oh, shell.
Character: Donatello
Series: TMNT
Character Age: Teenage!
Canon:Each ninja turtle has their own defining traits, and everyone familar
knows that Donatello's would be his technical and scholarly know-how, as you can often
find him tinkering with computer equipment or with his nose stuck in a book rather
than practicing his katas.
That's not to say that Donatello is useless in a fight! Slow to anger, Donatello is
the most pacifistic of his brothers, opting to think things through more often than to
smash heads and ask questions later-- and considering he's a giant mutant turtle? That's
a good way to avoid deadly misunderstandings. But when he's needed, he's just as
trustworthy to defend his brothers.
Sample Post:
Turtle's Log --
I've only been scouting out the place for a little while, and you can color me impressed! The
way these creatures have all thrived in an artificially controlled environment is quite
phenomenal! Some of the fauna here I never could've dreamed possible... especially these
zombies! I thought maybe Mikey made me watch too many horror movies and I was having a bad
dream when I saw them, the thought of the living dead was too campy for my tastes.
But I've managed to get a sample- when I asked them to give me a hand with my equipment, they took me
literally- of their DNA, and from what I can tell they are definitely human!
Or at least, they were. I haven't figured out exactly what's keeping them alive; my
first attempts at finding out ended up with them trying to take my temporal lobe ransom.
Since then I've made progress, it seems they communicate with a form of interpretive
dance. It's actually quite interesting-- see, while on first impression it may look like
they are actually verbalising to each other, in reality those are more of a qualifier, they add
context to the dance. Once I understood that, they accepted me right away, they refer to me as
Bright Eyes, which I think is a bit ironic, all considering. They warned me about a strange squid
in the lake they say is a bit unfriendly, I... think. I can't be sure, I haven't quite figured
out what they mean by thier pelvic thrusts, other than they're horrible dancers. While I
appreciate the irony of the undead dancing to 'Stayin' Alive', they're no John Travolta.
And we can all be grateful for that, I haven't enjoyed any of his movies since Phenomenon. Battlefield Earth was horrible,
I much prefer the book.
No, wait, are they...singing? Maybe I can decipher this, it sounds like a show tune of some sort...
Got it! 'Donatello does machines'...?
...oh, so that's what the pelvic thrusts meant.
Poll Vote!