(no subject)
TINY BATCH. As a side note, Gmail has been really nasty today and has been homphgomphing formatting like crazy. We're fixing it when we catch it, but if you see any of it? It is most likely not the apper's fault. ;;
Uh, as always, apps are open until 6 AM EST tomorrow!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Ben Skywalker
Series: Star Wars: Legacy of the Force
Character age: 14
Canon: (Sacrifice spoilers.) So your galaxy far, far away has been through an empire, a rebellion, a republic, and an invasion by extragalactic fanatics, only to have peace restored by Jedi Knights, wielders of the Force. What's next? Civil war! Ben Skywalker, only son of Jedi Masters Luke and Mara Jade Skywalker, has been caught right in the middle of this new conflict, signing on with the Galactic Alliance Guard secret police corps ("G.A.G." for short), destroying super-lasers, assassinating political leaders, being sent to strange planets with stranger animals, and learning that his Jedi mentor, Jacen Solo, is actually in league with the evil Sith.
Ben begins the series as a smart, energetic young boy with a quick sense of humor, who throws himself into whatever he does and seeks endlessly to escape his famous father's shadow. And while the increasingly dark nature of his work makes Ben more mature, sober, and responsible, not even the military demeanor of the adult black ops around him can completely stop Ben from showing his age, leaving him with a mix of serious trooper and enthusiastic teenage mannerisms. At the end of the day, Ben wants nothing more than to do his best to protect people, do his duty, and be the good guy righting the galaxy's wrongs.
Sample Post:
This is Special Agent Ben Skywalker to G.A.G. Headquarters, transmitting from Camp Fuck You Die, in, oh, the middle of nowhere. But unless animals in lab jars can be cooked up as the camp brochure's "copious wildlife preserves," this place is nothing like the "friendly, nature-filled summer experience" in the Galactic Alliance's files.
Instead, the whole area's wrapped up in producing new war materiel the locals call "threads." These things might not sound like much, but anyone who comes in contact with them dies of laughter. Camp's been stringing the authorities along about its "harmless" threading for years, so no one's unraveled how it works, but I'm pretty sure I've got the bio-medical basics down. Hear that sound in the background, Intel?
That's someone busting a gut laughing.
So camp's lying. It's making weapons that aren't being reported. Its threads kill visitors. That stuff was easy to learn, but tracing data on the guys running the operation is tougher than tracking Mustafar lava fleas through a flock of Duck You Fly firebreathers. Firebreathers are native. Judging by the big, black lines scratched over these user datafiles, camp's taken "strike team" to a whole new level to cover up electronic evidence of wrongdoing. Not really subtle, but their black ops are doing a good job blocking off these personnel files; every time I look for incriminating files on the people behind the threading, I get an "Error Code 6969: Don't Think of the Children." Quit worrying; I wasn't.
But if I can't get the evidence on my own, I'll pull it off with the locals. My best contact so far is Sergeant Squeak Squickity of the Sneaky Squirrel Squad. Nice name, huh? What's behind those strikethroughs is pretty important to the squirrels, too, so they're ready and willing to help G.A.G. crack camp and its database. Problem is. . . their "Kama Sutra" tactical school sketches out all its plans for a raid in some sort of picture code - H.Q. will have to crack it before I can join in most of the missions they've got drawn up. Right now I really only understand one of their strategies, and they just don't get that "drop the proton torpedo in the exhaust port" isn't the answer to everything. Anyway, I'll transmit all the threading information I've picked up to you guys along with the squirrels' symbolism, transfer starting. . . now.
Hopefully you'll get that first data packet intact - and metaphors be with you.
Poll Vote!
Character: Sanosuke Sagara
Series: Rurouni Kenshin
Age: 19
Canon: Rurouni Kenshin is the story of Kenshin Himura, a wandering samurai traveling Japan to atone for the sins he committed during his assassin days.
Sanosuke Sagara is first introduced as Zanza, a fighter for hire. He has a hatred for the Ishin Shishi,a group of patriots who tried to restore power to the emperor during the revolution, and the current government for the death of his beloved captain, Sozo Sagara. Soon he's hired to kill Kenshin, but is defeated and sees that he's is different from the other Ishin Shishi. He then becomes the man's best friend and most valuable ally.
Sanosuke is the type of person who rushes into things before thinking. He's never one to turn down a fight and his incredible stamina allows him to take hits that most people couldn't, thus he can continue fighting until he's practically unconscious. He loves to gamble, drink and mess around with people but overall, he's a good person and very loyal to his friends. Though the kanji for 'evil' on the back of his jacket reminds him of the government betrayal to his captain, it also serves as a reminder to defend those who have been wronged.
Note: The game Sanosuke is playing is called Cho-han Bakuchi which is a traditional Japanese gambling game using dice.
Sample Post:
Don't give me that look. You decided to bring your damn harem with you because you wanted to show off that you're the damn leader of the Toucan mafia. So it's not my fault they decided to leave you. Besides, I don't want your birdy bimbos. Do not want okay. Now find a way get rid of them so we can go back to the game. Jeez. Just because my hair stands up and makes me look like a rooster doesn't mean I am one.
Hm? Oh sure. Go ahead and laugh. My misery is great entertainment for ya. Go on, keep laughing because if you guys don't plan on stopping, I'm gladly shut you up with my fists!....Ahahahahaha! I was only kidding. I wasn't really going to hit any of you. Man, you guys should've seen the looks on your faces. Hahaha-Ow! Okay, who threw that? Ow! Stop throwing things at me! You guys can't take a joke can ya? Ow! Alright, alright. I won't do it again. I swear.
Man, you guys sure are violent. Oh, hey! You're back. Finally got rid of the chicks? Sent them off to get some food huh? Good, good. That means they'll be gone for quite a while. Let's finish this game before then come back then. Gorilla man, you know what to do.
So what's the call little buddy? Evens or odds? Three and six huh? That makes it odds. Alright then.
Okay, gorilla man. My feathery buddy and I call odds so show us those dice. Ha! Three and six! Odds! Ninth win! Next round, next round. C'mon. We're one win shy and we call evens this time. Hell yeah! Snake eyes! Evens! We win! Haha! Fork over the money people. Let's go.
Oh stop your groaning. Not my problem that you guys lost. Besides, I went easy on you people by changing a few rules so be thankful, and if you guys don't have money to give up, then just give me whatever you have that's valuable....Alright, which one of you guys doesn't have a brain and ended up giving their damn 'jewels' as payment? Man, I can't believe I'm holding them.
Poll Vote!
Character: Koyomi "Yomi" Mizuhara
Series: Azumanga Daioh
Age: 18
Canon: In Azumanga Daioh, Yomi is the closest thing to a voice of reason. Intelligent, athletic and in possession of a healthy dose of common sense; she is the eternally put-upon straight woman to the specialness and/or insanity of the rest of the Azugirls. She'd also like to think that she's the most calm and mature one of the gang. Because of this, she's been known to try to hide it from her friends when she gets excited over things she considers childish. These things include class trips and visits to amusement parks, which she secretly plans for and looks forward to obsessively for weeks ahead of time.
Yomi also does have a temper, which comes out especially in her interaction with best friend Tomo. Tomo's teasing has Yomi resorting to violence on occasion. Being the normal one of the bunch, Yomi is also the one with the normal teen issues: she worries about her weight, goes on diets, unfailingly fails those diets, worries about her weight some more, and snaps when Tomo teases her about it.
Sample Post:
When I said I wanted to visit Chiyo-chan in America and see something different for a change, what I was thinking of was the Statue of Liberty. The Grand Canyon. Disneyland. Things along those lines. And I guess that guy holding that burning arm over his head does have a certain resemblance to the Statue of Liberty, if I take off my glasses and squint. In the dark. But even so, this was not the kind of different I had in mind. Is this even America? There were no mentions of anything like this in any of my guidebooks, and I definitely wouldn't have missed it if there would have been. I did read them all very carefully. Several times. Though to be fair, those guidebooks are by people who want you to visit here. If that's the plan, actually printing information about a place like this probably wouldn't be a very good idea.
Wait, this place does have brochures? Thank you, Sir. Ma'am. It's. Uh. Hard to tell under all that moss you're covered with. I'd ask why you're covered in moss, but all things considered, I just don't want to know. Anyway, you wouldn't happen to have a brochure that's not been soaked through? No? All I can make out on this one is "Camp..." Something? "Come because misery loves company; stay because you literally can't leave! ~ ♥"?
... Well. That's some false advertising right there. I for one very literally feel like I not only can but should leave. And based on this. Err. Camp's version of the Statue of Liberty, I'd like to do that before I find out what its version of Mount Rushmore is like. So if anyone could please show me the exit? No? Trapped because of a magical unbreakable barrier, you say? That kind of literal "can't leave", huh? You know, considering everything else I've seen here so far, it wouldn't even surprise me at all if that was true.
Honestly. This is just too much. I can't be expected to take anymore of it without comfort food. I'm going to need sugar to digest this. Lots of sugar. Bring me all the cream puffs you've got as soon as humanly possible, expense is not an issue! From now on, the diet is off!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kousaka Makoto
Series: Genshiken
Character Age: 19-20ish
Canon: Genshiken is the club that you go to when even the members of the anime or manga club think you're too much of an otaku. Not content to focus on merely one aspect, the Society for the Study of Modern Visual Culture (AKA Genshiken) embraces anime, manga, games, and those plastic models that let you see the girl's panties in perfect detail. Kousaka Makoto is interested in all of the above, but his specialty is his near-godly ability with video games.
On first appearance, Kousaka does not seem like an otaku: he's pretty, athletic, dresses well, smiles constantly and can often be seen with his girlfriend. What soon becomes apparent, however, is his complete obliviousness to, well, just about everything to do with normal human interaction. It's not so much that he lacks social skills, but that he's cheerfully unaware that they even exist. He's quite happy to discuss his favourite porn games with anyone who asks, use his good looks to sell doujinshi, or switch positions in the middle of sex so as to be able to watch an anime he likes, all without realising that anyone might consider any of this odd.
Sample post:
Good afternoon, could someone please direct me to the main office? My name is Kousaka Makoto and I'm here for a job interview. This is Eros Arts Entertainment, right? Is the company starting up a horror division? That's a bold move, especially since that market is quite a bit smaller than the porn game market. Saving on CG costs by actually making the settings and employing actors is a pretty smart idea though. They seem to be really getting into the role too! Having to outrun a pack of them on the way here really did get me in the mood to create realistic scenes. I'd suggest using them in the promotions when the game's released. It could really be a unique angle, which is always important in a genre where so many of the titles blend together.
Speaking of which, was that tentacle monster used as a model for the one in Fatal Vore II? Its movement in the game always seemed a little more natural and fluid than the rest of the characters, so I thought they must have been using motion capture somehow. Actually making a tentacle monster must have been a lot of effort, so I can see why you'd want to reuse it. It should make a pretty good boss, but you have to be careful to make sure that the tentacles have more range than the player's ranged weapons. You'd be surprised how common a mistake that is, and it does take the fun out of trying to avoid being molested if you know you can just hang back and shoot it without it being able to reach you.
The most important thing about good gameplay, though, is the interface. If the fighting style is fun and intuitive, people will forgive almost anything. Oh, you were thinking of turn-based combat? That's a pretty odd choice for this type of game, but I guess you could make it work. "Beat the shit out of it" and "run the fuck away" are much more creative and atmospheric than the normal fight or flee options, definitely. And "kill it with fire" for magical attacks? Fire is traditionally the best thing to use against the undead I guess, although personally I like to have a little variation in my damage types. But what does "put it in" do?
Oh, so it's a kind of hybrid game then? Who would've thought there was so much of a market for zombie porn!
Poll Vote!
Character: Ling Tong (Gongji)
Series: Dynasty Warriors 5
Character Age: 18
Canon: Take a slightly accurate historical novel about a bunch of 1800 year old dead Chinese guys fighting each other; then turn it into a hack-and-slash video game with the player facing literally hundreds of enemies at once; add three kingdoms, bizarre weapons, and questionable fashion choices, mix well - and voila! You have the Dynasty Warriors series of games!
Ling Tong is one of the generals of the kingdom of Wu - one of the three aforementioned kingdoms. He's sarcastic, cynical, and smart-alecky, with a fondness for playing practical jokes on his comerades. Most of his portion of the game is spent, however, angsting and lobbing insults at Gan Ning, the former pirate and new Wu officer who killed Ling's dad just before joining them. Once he resolves to get over his emo, stop crawling in his skin, and move on with his life, the two forgive each other and become good friends. That still insult each other. A lot.
Sample Post:
Okay, guys, I think we need to have a little talk. And what we're gonna talk about is hazing and practical jokes. See, hazing very seriously affects morale. And as your superior officer, it's my job to make sure morale is decent, and the men in my regiment do things right. And right now, you guys are definitely, definitely not doing things right. And that's affecting my morale, 'cause I know I've taught you all how to haze people better than this!
The first thing you have to remember is that when playing pranks, they should actually be, you know, funny. The fake leprosy or dysentery or syphilligonoherpes? Not funny. Actually, it's kinda... sad. Am I really so hard to work under that you gotta fake having your hand fall off to try and get outta your duty? Sheesh. The guys that decided to roll in the mud and then dress up like a sailor, a constable, and a savage -- and then dance? It's not funny if no one else gets the joke. And what the hell is this 'YMCA' thing you all keep whining about?
Second thing about practical jokes is that you shouldn't permanently hurt people with 'em much. See, if you'd have just drawn on our maps, that wouldn't have been so bad. Instead, the maps are gone, we're lost in the middle of nowhere, and I'm left with one scroll with a drawing of 'pirates and ninjas porking softly' - whatever that means - one that looks like a five year old was trying to draw a dog, and three pictures of me and Gan Ning naked together. Yeah, and for the record guys? Your drawings suck - I don't have glistening dewdrop eyes, or flowing chestnut locks, or a chocolate marshmallow ass or what the hell ever else to do with donkeys was on here. And the one with the pirates and my father? Step forward so I can personally thank you. At least draw him alive, for cryin' out loud. No, I'm not gonna go back to my tent and cry. Shut the hell up.
I thought I'd taught you guys better than this. Seriously, you couldn't have sewn the flap on my field tent shut and filled it with smoke? Filled my pants with fire ants? Learned to draw? But noooo, all you guys wanna do is stand around and moan about being 'in the navy' or whatever! Hell, if I didn't know better, I'd think Gan Ning had put you guys up to this - it's his sad calibur of work, anyway.
...Speaking of which, when we get back to camp, his horse has a date with a jug of wine and a rooftop for this lame garbage. Don't look at me like that - if he wants it back bad enough, he'll find a way to get it down.
Poll Vote!
Uh, as always, apps are open until 6 AM EST tomorrow!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Ben Skywalker
Series: Star Wars: Legacy of the Force
Character age: 14
Canon: (Sacrifice spoilers.) So your galaxy far, far away has been through an empire, a rebellion, a republic, and an invasion by extragalactic fanatics, only to have peace restored by Jedi Knights, wielders of the Force. What's next? Civil war! Ben Skywalker, only son of Jedi Masters Luke and Mara Jade Skywalker, has been caught right in the middle of this new conflict, signing on with the Galactic Alliance Guard secret police corps ("G.A.G." for short), destroying super-lasers, assassinating political leaders, being sent to strange planets with stranger animals, and learning that his Jedi mentor, Jacen Solo, is actually in league with the evil Sith.
Ben begins the series as a smart, energetic young boy with a quick sense of humor, who throws himself into whatever he does and seeks endlessly to escape his famous father's shadow. And while the increasingly dark nature of his work makes Ben more mature, sober, and responsible, not even the military demeanor of the adult black ops around him can completely stop Ben from showing his age, leaving him with a mix of serious trooper and enthusiastic teenage mannerisms. At the end of the day, Ben wants nothing more than to do his best to protect people, do his duty, and be the good guy righting the galaxy's wrongs.
Sample Post:
This is Special Agent Ben Skywalker to G.A.G. Headquarters, transmitting from Camp Fuck You Die, in, oh, the middle of nowhere. But unless animals in lab jars can be cooked up as the camp brochure's "copious wildlife preserves," this place is nothing like the "friendly, nature-filled summer experience" in the Galactic Alliance's files.
Instead, the whole area's wrapped up in producing new war materiel the locals call "threads." These things might not sound like much, but anyone who comes in contact with them dies of laughter. Camp's been stringing the authorities along about its "harmless" threading for years, so no one's unraveled how it works, but I'm pretty sure I've got the bio-medical basics down. Hear that sound in the background, Intel?
That's someone busting a gut laughing.
So camp's lying. It's making weapons that aren't being reported. Its threads kill visitors. That stuff was easy to learn, but tracing data on the guys running the operation is tougher than tracking Mustafar lava fleas through a flock of Duck You Fly firebreathers. Firebreathers are native. Judging by the big, black lines scratched over these user datafiles, camp's taken "strike team" to a whole new level to cover up electronic evidence of wrongdoing. Not really subtle, but their black ops are doing a good job blocking off these personnel files; every time I look for incriminating files on the people behind the threading, I get an "Error Code 6969: Don't Think of the Children." Quit worrying; I wasn't.
But if I can't get the evidence on my own, I'll pull it off with the locals. My best contact so far is Sergeant Squeak Squickity of the Sneaky Squirrel Squad. Nice name, huh? What's behind those strikethroughs is pretty important to the squirrels, too, so they're ready and willing to help G.A.G. crack camp and its database. Problem is. . . their "Kama Sutra" tactical school sketches out all its plans for a raid in some sort of picture code - H.Q. will have to crack it before I can join in most of the missions they've got drawn up. Right now I really only understand one of their strategies, and they just don't get that "drop the proton torpedo in the exhaust port" isn't the answer to everything. Anyway, I'll transmit all the threading information I've picked up to you guys along with the squirrels' symbolism, transfer starting. . . now.
Hopefully you'll get that first data packet intact - and metaphors be with you.
Poll Vote!
Character: Sanosuke Sagara
Series: Rurouni Kenshin
Age: 19
Canon: Rurouni Kenshin is the story of Kenshin Himura, a wandering samurai traveling Japan to atone for the sins he committed during his assassin days.
Sanosuke Sagara is first introduced as Zanza, a fighter for hire. He has a hatred for the Ishin Shishi,a group of patriots who tried to restore power to the emperor during the revolution, and the current government for the death of his beloved captain, Sozo Sagara. Soon he's hired to kill Kenshin, but is defeated and sees that he's is different from the other Ishin Shishi. He then becomes the man's best friend and most valuable ally.
Sanosuke is the type of person who rushes into things before thinking. He's never one to turn down a fight and his incredible stamina allows him to take hits that most people couldn't, thus he can continue fighting until he's practically unconscious. He loves to gamble, drink and mess around with people but overall, he's a good person and very loyal to his friends. Though the kanji for 'evil' on the back of his jacket reminds him of the government betrayal to his captain, it also serves as a reminder to defend those who have been wronged.
Note: The game Sanosuke is playing is called Cho-han Bakuchi which is a traditional Japanese gambling game using dice.
Sample Post:
Don't give me that look. You decided to bring your damn harem with you because you wanted to show off that you're the damn leader of the Toucan mafia. So it's not my fault they decided to leave you. Besides, I don't want your birdy bimbos. Do not want okay. Now find a way get rid of them so we can go back to the game. Jeez. Just because my hair stands up and makes me look like a rooster doesn't mean I am one.
Hm? Oh sure. Go ahead and laugh. My misery is great entertainment for ya. Go on, keep laughing because if you guys don't plan on stopping, I'm gladly shut you up with my fists!....Ahahahahaha! I was only kidding. I wasn't really going to hit any of you. Man, you guys should've seen the looks on your faces. Hahaha-Ow! Okay, who threw that? Ow! Stop throwing things at me! You guys can't take a joke can ya? Ow! Alright, alright. I won't do it again. I swear.
Man, you guys sure are violent. Oh, hey! You're back. Finally got rid of the chicks? Sent them off to get some food huh? Good, good. That means they'll be gone for quite a while. Let's finish this game before then come back then. Gorilla man, you know what to do.
So what's the call little buddy? Evens or odds? Three and six huh? That makes it odds. Alright then.
Okay, gorilla man. My feathery buddy and I call odds so show us those dice. Ha! Three and six! Odds! Ninth win! Next round, next round. C'mon. We're one win shy and we call evens this time. Hell yeah! Snake eyes! Evens! We win! Haha! Fork over the money people. Let's go.
Oh stop your groaning. Not my problem that you guys lost. Besides, I went easy on you people by changing a few rules so be thankful, and if you guys don't have money to give up, then just give me whatever you have that's valuable....Alright, which one of you guys doesn't have a brain and ended up giving their damn 'jewels' as payment? Man, I can't believe I'm holding them.
Poll Vote!
Character: Koyomi "Yomi" Mizuhara
Series: Azumanga Daioh
Age: 18
Canon: In Azumanga Daioh, Yomi is the closest thing to a voice of reason. Intelligent, athletic and in possession of a healthy dose of common sense; she is the eternally put-upon straight woman to the specialness and/or insanity of the rest of the Azugirls. She'd also like to think that she's the most calm and mature one of the gang. Because of this, she's been known to try to hide it from her friends when she gets excited over things she considers childish. These things include class trips and visits to amusement parks, which she secretly plans for and looks forward to obsessively for weeks ahead of time.
Yomi also does have a temper, which comes out especially in her interaction with best friend Tomo. Tomo's teasing has Yomi resorting to violence on occasion. Being the normal one of the bunch, Yomi is also the one with the normal teen issues: she worries about her weight, goes on diets, unfailingly fails those diets, worries about her weight some more, and snaps when Tomo teases her about it.
Sample Post:
When I said I wanted to visit Chiyo-chan in America and see something different for a change, what I was thinking of was the Statue of Liberty. The Grand Canyon. Disneyland. Things along those lines. And I guess that guy holding that burning arm over his head does have a certain resemblance to the Statue of Liberty, if I take off my glasses and squint. In the dark. But even so, this was not the kind of different I had in mind. Is this even America? There were no mentions of anything like this in any of my guidebooks, and I definitely wouldn't have missed it if there would have been. I did read them all very carefully. Several times. Though to be fair, those guidebooks are by people who want you to visit here. If that's the plan, actually printing information about a place like this probably wouldn't be a very good idea.
Wait, this place does have brochures? Thank you, Sir. Ma'am. It's. Uh. Hard to tell under all that moss you're covered with. I'd ask why you're covered in moss, but all things considered, I just don't want to know. Anyway, you wouldn't happen to have a brochure that's not been soaked through? No? All I can make out on this one is "Camp..." Something? "Come because misery loves company; stay because you literally can't leave! ~ ♥"?
... Well. That's some false advertising right there. I for one very literally feel like I not only can but should leave. And based on this. Err. Camp's version of the Statue of Liberty, I'd like to do that before I find out what its version of Mount Rushmore is like. So if anyone could please show me the exit? No? Trapped because of a magical unbreakable barrier, you say? That kind of literal "can't leave", huh? You know, considering everything else I've seen here so far, it wouldn't even surprise me at all if that was true.
Honestly. This is just too much. I can't be expected to take anymore of it without comfort food. I'm going to need sugar to digest this. Lots of sugar. Bring me all the cream puffs you've got as soon as humanly possible, expense is not an issue! From now on, the diet is off!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kousaka Makoto
Series: Genshiken
Character Age: 19-20ish
Canon: Genshiken is the club that you go to when even the members of the anime or manga club think you're too much of an otaku. Not content to focus on merely one aspect, the Society for the Study of Modern Visual Culture (AKA Genshiken) embraces anime, manga, games, and those plastic models that let you see the girl's panties in perfect detail. Kousaka Makoto is interested in all of the above, but his specialty is his near-godly ability with video games.
On first appearance, Kousaka does not seem like an otaku: he's pretty, athletic, dresses well, smiles constantly and can often be seen with his girlfriend. What soon becomes apparent, however, is his complete obliviousness to, well, just about everything to do with normal human interaction. It's not so much that he lacks social skills, but that he's cheerfully unaware that they even exist. He's quite happy to discuss his favourite porn games with anyone who asks, use his good looks to sell doujinshi, or switch positions in the middle of sex so as to be able to watch an anime he likes, all without realising that anyone might consider any of this odd.
Sample post:
Good afternoon, could someone please direct me to the main office? My name is Kousaka Makoto and I'm here for a job interview. This is Eros Arts Entertainment, right? Is the company starting up a horror division? That's a bold move, especially since that market is quite a bit smaller than the porn game market. Saving on CG costs by actually making the settings and employing actors is a pretty smart idea though. They seem to be really getting into the role too! Having to outrun a pack of them on the way here really did get me in the mood to create realistic scenes. I'd suggest using them in the promotions when the game's released. It could really be a unique angle, which is always important in a genre where so many of the titles blend together.
Speaking of which, was that tentacle monster used as a model for the one in Fatal Vore II? Its movement in the game always seemed a little more natural and fluid than the rest of the characters, so I thought they must have been using motion capture somehow. Actually making a tentacle monster must have been a lot of effort, so I can see why you'd want to reuse it. It should make a pretty good boss, but you have to be careful to make sure that the tentacles have more range than the player's ranged weapons. You'd be surprised how common a mistake that is, and it does take the fun out of trying to avoid being molested if you know you can just hang back and shoot it without it being able to reach you.
The most important thing about good gameplay, though, is the interface. If the fighting style is fun and intuitive, people will forgive almost anything. Oh, you were thinking of turn-based combat? That's a pretty odd choice for this type of game, but I guess you could make it work. "Beat the shit out of it" and "run the fuck away" are much more creative and atmospheric than the normal fight or flee options, definitely. And "kill it with fire" for magical attacks? Fire is traditionally the best thing to use against the undead I guess, although personally I like to have a little variation in my damage types. But what does "put it in" do?
Oh, so it's a kind of hybrid game then? Who would've thought there was so much of a market for zombie porn!
Poll Vote!
Character: Ling Tong (Gongji)
Series: Dynasty Warriors 5
Character Age: 18
Canon: Take a slightly accurate historical novel about a bunch of 1800 year old dead Chinese guys fighting each other; then turn it into a hack-and-slash video game with the player facing literally hundreds of enemies at once; add three kingdoms, bizarre weapons, and questionable fashion choices, mix well - and voila! You have the Dynasty Warriors series of games!
Ling Tong is one of the generals of the kingdom of Wu - one of the three aforementioned kingdoms. He's sarcastic, cynical, and smart-alecky, with a fondness for playing practical jokes on his comerades. Most of his portion of the game is spent, however, angsting and lobbing insults at Gan Ning, the former pirate and new Wu officer who killed Ling's dad just before joining them. Once he resolves to get over his emo, stop crawling in his skin, and move on with his life, the two forgive each other and become good friends. That still insult each other. A lot.
Sample Post:
Okay, guys, I think we need to have a little talk. And what we're gonna talk about is hazing and practical jokes. See, hazing very seriously affects morale. And as your superior officer, it's my job to make sure morale is decent, and the men in my regiment do things right. And right now, you guys are definitely, definitely not doing things right. And that's affecting my morale, 'cause I know I've taught you all how to haze people better than this!
The first thing you have to remember is that when playing pranks, they should actually be, you know, funny. The fake leprosy or dysentery or syphilligonoherpes? Not funny. Actually, it's kinda... sad. Am I really so hard to work under that you gotta fake having your hand fall off to try and get outta your duty? Sheesh. The guys that decided to roll in the mud and then dress up like a sailor, a constable, and a savage -- and then dance? It's not funny if no one else gets the joke. And what the hell is this 'YMCA' thing you all keep whining about?
Second thing about practical jokes is that you shouldn't permanently hurt people with 'em much. See, if you'd have just drawn on our maps, that wouldn't have been so bad. Instead, the maps are gone, we're lost in the middle of nowhere, and I'm left with one scroll with a drawing of 'pirates and ninjas porking softly' - whatever that means - one that looks like a five year old was trying to draw a dog, and three pictures of me and Gan Ning naked together. Yeah, and for the record guys? Your drawings suck - I don't have glistening dewdrop eyes, or flowing chestnut locks, or a chocolate marshmallow ass or what the hell ever else to do with donkeys was on here. And the one with the pirates and my father? Step forward so I can personally thank you. At least draw him alive, for cryin' out loud. No, I'm not gonna go back to my tent and cry. Shut the hell up.
I thought I'd taught you guys better than this. Seriously, you couldn't have sewn the flap on my field tent shut and filled it with smoke? Filled my pants with fire ants? Learned to draw? But noooo, all you guys wanna do is stand around and moan about being 'in the navy' or whatever! Hell, if I didn't know better, I'd think Gan Ning had put you guys up to this - it's his sad calibur of work, anyway.
...Speaking of which, when we get back to camp, his horse has a date with a jug of wine and a rooftop for this lame garbage. Don't look at me like that - if he wants it back bad enough, he'll find a way to get it down.
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