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OKAY GUYS. FIRST FULLBLAST ROUND. ARE YOU READYYYYY TO MEET THE NEW CONTESTANTS \o/ THESE PEOPLE MAY BE YOUR NEIGHBORS SOON SO CHECK 'EM OUT AND GET YOUR VOTE ON.
EDIT EDIT: As of this round, there's a grand total of eighteen apps left. This is a tiny round as predicted! So if you're not burned out please do drop by and vote. Everyone worked omega hard as usual. >:
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. POOL'S CLOSED
Character: Li Shunsheng / Hei
Age: Unknown; appears to be anywhere between 19 and 21. (passes as a young university student)
Series: Darker than Black
Canon: Darker than Black is the story about how messed up the world is after disaster struck Tokyo ten years ago and made a strange new territory called Hell's Gate. Ever since then, organizations around the world have begun to use people capable of using supernatural abilities for a price -- known as Contractors -- to uncover what exactly happened to the area. Li Shunsheng appears to be a normal, good-hearted young man who has just arrived in Tokyo to study abroad. Polite, soft-spoken, and interested in astronomy, Li is quick to keep his mouth shut and let someone else talk before putting in his own opinion. It's not that hard for him, since he tends to be stuffing his mouth with food whenever he gets the chance to eat.
He's your typical "big brother" type, but his role in the story is much more than that: he is a Contractor known as Hei who works for a mysterious organization. As a Contractor, his slick, emotionless demeanor directly contrasts Li's "big brother" persona. Hei is the type that Does Not Take Shit; he'd gladly break your fingers if it meant getting more information, particularly in regards to his own Token Emo Past. When he's not doing that, he has a tendency to wax poetic on How Things Are. To Hei, everything and anything is srs bizness. >:(!
While both are two sides of the same coin (hello double life!), Li/Hei for all intents and purposes acts as Li around anyone and anything outside of the organization unless given reason to act otherwise, with only parts of his Hei persona slipping through every now and then.
Sample Post:
Um, excuse me! I don't mean to intrude, but I've somehow managed to get turned around while trying to find a place to stargaze. One of your locals, a very kind yet slightly decayed Brayne Sects-san, had been trying to direct me to a place around here where I could get a good view. I think she may have been a bit confused as to what I meant by that, since her initial suggestion was to peer down through a hole in the ceiling only big enough for a small feline. That's entirely in the wrong direction, and more along the lines of voyeurism, anyway.
Still, it was generous of her to try to help, since this is the first time I've been able to visit America. The stars here are completely different from the ones I used to see back home, even though I thought Sagittarius wasn't that . . . explicit in other parts of the world . . . Ah, I had been hoping to get out far away enough from the city lights to see more of the constellations, but this might be a case of seeing far, far too much. Sagittarius seems quite occupied with himself at the moment, in any case.
The truth is that this wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I decided to take a vacation. I'd been told that the bayou wasn't a bad place for astronomy if you could ignore the alligators and whatnot, but I never thought I'd actually meet an alligator face-to-face. He seemed to be quite friendly to me at first. . . . but creatures like that exist to be deceptive; you cannot trust them, no matter what. Alligators are cunning urban predators, quick to bite off more than they can chew. Zig-zagged runs are useless against such monsters; all you can do is run, run in a straight line, and live . . .
. . . is what I told Sects-san, anyway! I was fortunate to run into her. She may have been a bit too friendly, though. When I mentioned that I was looking for stars and other celestial bodies, she, um, seemed more inclined to offer her own instead. I had to politely inform her that no, I was not that kind of man, and yes, there were better ways to support herself and her seven small zombabies. I even went as far as to offer her some fresh alligator meat to help with the little ones as well. She eventually directed me here, to the best place in the camp to stargaze, telling me that the moon's phase would impress me greatly. I haven't had a chance to take a closer look until now, but I wasn't aware that there was something so special about this ph-
-- ah. That is quite an impressive, er . . . "face."
Poll Vote!
Name: Minami "Ikki" Itsuki
Series: Air Gear
Character Age: 15
Canon: Air Gear is about Storm Riders, punk kids who ride around on Air Treks (A-Ts, or motorized rollerblades) and form gangs to fight in gravity-defying battles to gain more territory and recognition. After being beaten and humiliated by a group of psycho Storm Riders known as the Skull Saders, our hero Ikki was about to give up on his manhood, but the the domineering sisters he lives with who usually use Ikki as their servant give him the chance to get his vengeance - by gifting him with a pair of A-T of his own. After winning against the enemy and getting addicted to the sensation of "flying", Ikki forms a Storm Rider team of his own with his childhood friends, beginning a quest to become a True Shounen Hero by owning bad guys, making them gay for him, and then getting them to join his team.
As the leader of the Kogarasumaru, Ikki is passionate, dependable, and strong, but he's also reckless and disregards the rules, all the while referring to himself as a God. He's constantly making his mark on the A-T world and gathering the attention of other talented Storm Riders in true shounen retard fashion. Though he claims to be a genius - and very well might be - Ikki's logic can be very SPECIAL. This is evident in plenty of what he says and does, such as declaring he's not effected by a rock-shattering punch to the face because he "had a skull implanted in his forehead," showing up naked behind an opponent to scare him, or using a bulldozer to declare battle on a team. Between that and the crow that lives in his hair that he sometimes uses to shoot at people, it's no surprise that he's referred to by even his most devoted teammates as the "stupid hero."
Sample Post:
I'd heard rumors, but man, you guys are the most pathetic-looking team I've ever seen! Sure, the Living Dead sounds like a great team name - even I can respect how scary the dead can be! - but costumes alone aren't enough to prove your skill, since presentation is only a part of the team dynamic. Ignoring the fact you're ripping off a classic movie here, I can still pity you, deep down in my heart. And I mean deep down. It must be hard without a humble, genius leader like myself to lead you down the path of badassness. But you know what? Since I'm such a nice guy, I'll give you a quick lesson right now. Rule Number One of How To Be A Badass Team: PAY ATTENTION when another team is challenging you! Even the greatest teams know when to get down on their knees and give respect!
Listening now? Let me tell you what's about to happen! As soon as everyone else arrives, This God Ikki and his legion of loyal followers will show you that it's a bad idea not to take the Kogarasumaru seriously! Do you know what happened to the last team that underestimated us? We kicked their asses so hard they've been shitting themselves for weeks! So now that you know who I am, you should be trembling in fear! Well, are you?
-- Wait, why are you walking away!? You can't walk away from a challenge! Alright, if you want to be technical, you can't hobble away from a -- hey, hold up a sec! Where are your A-Ts? Oi, I'm talking to you!
I'VE SEEN NEWBORNS WITH BIGGER BALLS THAN YOU GUYS. What a waste of time! No A-Ts?! Maybe this is some sort of psychological warfare, some way they're gonna fuck with me to change my mind... wait, I got it! I bet these guys put this swamp together as an elaborate plan to spook me out in the hopes that by chance I'd recognize such a classic horror cliche, afterwards realizing "Oh snap, I'm gonna be battling against zombie wannabes." And then I'll remember that zombies eat brains and start to wonder if this team does the same thing like the fucking crazy cultists they are, and by the time I realize that it's all a great big hoax I've already ran away with my tail between my legs. Well?! I'm right, aren't I?
I knew it! Man, I'm such a genius. It was an audacious attempt, but if you think something like that will fool this God-like being, think again! I've already come up with a brilliant strategy to counteract your mind-fuck, one that the future generation, so awed by it's greatness, will try and fail to copy for years to come! You know what I'm going to do?
Absolutely nothing. Oh yeah, I bet you're trembling now.
Poll Vote!
Name: Sakuya Kira / Nanatsusaya
Age: Physically 18.
Series: Angel Sanctuary
Canon: In Ye Olde Long Time Ago there was an evil spirit trapped in a Holy Sword named Nanatsusaya. The Sword fell in love with the Angel That Wielded Him, and so when said Angel DIED the Sword decided to follow her soul to Earth and protect her throughout her many reincarnations. This goes on a long, long time until the Angel is reborn as one Mudou Setsuna, a nice kid with a bad hard-on for his little sister. Now excellent at stalking his angel across time and space, Nanatsusaya takes the body of dying young boy and becomes a human named Kira Sakuya.
Despite being an inhuman (and don't forget evil) spirit who claims to not understand love, Kira is well ruled by the emotion by the time the series starts. He puts up an excellent cool exterior: that of an aloof delinquent, ever with a cigarette in his mouth, who mocks others and does his best to appear unaffected by them. But in the end Kira is always the one still there for his friends when the rest of the world has abandoned them. Of course, he shows his affection by telling them in short words that they're dumb, but you have to care to abuse, right? Kira is implicitly honest when he's not being a lying liar about everything (like, say, not being human), and is more than capable of doing whatever he has to for the sake of the people he loves, no matter what the cost to himself.
Sample App:
What do you know, it looks like being a delinquent isn't enough anymore; now you have to write applications to get into prison camps. But a crazy bitch in charge is still a crazy bitch in charge, so I'll go along with what you want.
You didn't specify, so I'll pretend you want the truth, Crazy Nee-san. That means I can skip pretending I care about Louisiana, your camp, or the epic hostage situation you've got going on here. But it looks like two idiots who belong to me somehow got mixed up in your camp with all the other idiots, probably because if you're an idiot this is apparently the place to be. At least that's the only reason I can come up with for why a measly three hundred people would need to resort to video game mechanics to keep the population up.
Anyway, it'd be a waste if the druggie and the brat died in a place like this just because I left them on their own for a while. Not that I'll be wasting my time with a rescue attempt; I'm just here for the company. A little vacation. Those two can find their own way out of the dimensional bubble -- it builds character.
Though it doesn't seem like it's the type of character many men want. Have you noticed most of your idiots are also homos? Hey, Crazy Nee-san, did you ever consider that might be the secret behind your lover's 'death'? If he just faked it and ran off with his homo friend, it'd explain why your 'investigation' isn't getting very far. Maybe if you tried being cuter, things wouldn't have turned out this way.
Not that it matters anymore what the purpose of this place used to be; they've got their hooks into you now, don't they? And these stubborn humans can be really hard to break away from sometimes...
But I wonder what that says about the ones who don't even try to escape. Right, Crazy-nee?
Poll Vote!
Character: Virgil Ovid Hawkins/Static
Series: Static Shock
Character Age: 16-17
Canon: It's a bird! It's a plane! ...It's a teenager flying on a trash can lid? Close enough. Static Shock revolves around the life and times of Virgil Hawkins, who gained his electrical powers by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. When his home town, Dakota, became overrun by superpowered criminals, Virgil created his super alterego "Static" and now fights crime with his boyfriend best friend Richie.
Virgil is a typical dork who listens to bad music, watches bad horror movies and occasionally makes very stupid mistakes. He has the ego the size of the Internet and makes the worst puns/jokes (and naming his attacks after himself). However, Virgil has a very strong sense of justice and in the end, can always be counted to do the right thing (in true shounen retard style). He's very close to his family, despite his constant bickering with his sister Sharon and has been best friends with Richie ever since...well, for quite a while now. He has a tendency to be rash and impulsive, sometimes not caring if he hurt other people he cared about, but he's loyal to many faults.
Sample Post:
Zombie Count so far - 300.
Hello Zombie-boy, this is your worst nightmare Static, here to protect the world from cannibalism, slime attacks and bad hair-days. C'mon people, let me hear that roar!
Okay, maybe not. But don't worry! This amazingly hot superhero will protect camp from harm with his equally astounding powers! Watch how he blasts that ninja zombie on the tree branch without even looking! Watch how he swoops on his flying disc of awesomeness! Watch how he-
-falls as he is ambushed by zombie jocks. How embarrasing. Ow, hey, watch the hair! You won't get away with this! Wait a second, don't touch that! Hey, where are you taking me? Oh no, not the lake!
Oh great. Now I have to wash the costume again. Do you know how difficult it is to wash your superhero costume without anyone in your family noticing?! The last time I tried to wash my costume, my sister thought I was sick and forced me to spend the entire day in bed.
I rather not go through that again. Man, I'm never going to get this gunk off. I just hope it doesn't stain. I don't suppose anyone has Stain Remover?
...Thank you, Mister-er, I mean, Miss Tentacle Monster.
Poll Vote!
Character: Richard "Richie" Osgood Foley/Gear
Series: Static Shock
Character Age: 16-17
Canon: One night in the quiet city of Dakota, there was a gas explosion at the docks. Said gas was a mutagen which changed all those that came into contact with it and granted many with superpowers - they are known as the "Bang Babies". Virgil Hawkins, one of the stronger Bang Babies with electromagnetic powers, decides to become a superhero after a prompt from a friend. With the alias "Static" and catch-phrases like "I put a shock to your system!", he patrols Dakota fighting the zillion other Bang Babies who have all turned to crime.
Best friend and confidant of Virgil, Richie Foley was the first to nominate said best friend to superhero status. He's just another teenager obsessed with fast food, bad horror flicks and comic books. Richie's quirky and confident, and he's the real comic book guru in the duo, inventing new catch-phrases and even choosing the costume for Static. Along the way he finds out that he's also a Bang Baby (a late-bloomer at that) with the non-offensive superpower - super-intelligence, much to his dismay, and an aptitude for inventing technology and programs from scratch. After this revelation, he takes on the name "Gear" and graduates from a behind-the-scenes-sidekick to Static's partner-in-crime-fighting. Even after becoming a superhero however, Richie remains a dork - what other superheroes video-tapes their fights and review them like a football team would to a game?
Sample Post:
You know why having super-intelligence really sucks? Try having your brain supply you with the thirty-three possible ways you could die from a situation such as a zombie attack.
When you are, in fact, currently a hapless victim of a zombie attack.
But seriously. This just doesn't make any sense! How can a zombie doing that to you be the most probable and least painful way to die? I mean, come on, why it would do that in the first place is... questionable and that angle will just- Oh. Right. Thank you for the diagram, brain. Okay, yeah, that might just kill me.
So getting separated from your best friend in unknown territory is not a good idea. Getting separated from your best friend in a place that's apparently infested with zombies is also not a very good idea. If said friend also happens to be the one with the superpower that will be useful against bodies of rotting flesh, then getting separated from them is really, really not a good idea. Shows how much of a genius you are, Richie.
So yeah. Zombies.
Not like this is anything new. Only last time I was actually part of this moaning grey mass of unthinking droids and didn't have to figure out a way to escape. Well, okay, technically last time I was more of a mind-controlled brain puppet than a zombie. Don't think my flesh was rotting and dropping off like that either. And really, I don't remember calling out "Braaaains" every two seconds and making bold dives onto people's heads and h-hey! One more time, one last time, I won't say it again, you filthy undead Lurch wannabe! Watch it and stay back, or I will-
Hey!! What do you think you're doing? No! Keep your stinking hands off of me- I mean, er, no! Think, Richie, think. You're surrounded by hungry zombies waiting to get into your skull. What do you do in a situation like this? I, er... Zombie friends! Gross undead! Leper drones! Lend me your, er, actually, not to risk literalism errors, USE your ears! To listen to me! Dude, this is so overused. It's been a real pleasure meeting you guys! And I believe there has been a terrible misunderstanding! It's not like I don't want to stay with you! In fact, I would love to! But since I'm a man of unfortunate circumstances and right now I kind of need to find my friend and get the heck out of here, I have no choice but to leave you! Also, some friendly advice to you brain-lovers! I really don't think super-intelligence adds much flavour to the old noodle, so there really isn't much point to you eating mine. Heh, adding flavour to the old noodle, get it?
Okay, fine. You don't get it. And of course, that last statement is more encouraging than discouraging. What else is new, Richie? No, seriously, I won't taste good. My grey matter probably tastes like stale pizza or something.
...so backing up to a banana tree gives my brain enough inspiration to construct the thirty-fourth possible death scene for me. Fantastic.
Man, I told Virgil that laser vision would be way cooler than having superbrains.
Poll Vote!
Character: Simon
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Character Age: 14
Canon: Gurren Lagann is the story about a man who has yet to realize his own destiny--so claims the overly dramatic introduction. Said story includes a Ganman--aka mecha--that stands at an impressive five foot something and an older brother figure with a flair for overly dramatic speeches. This is Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann! The only series that uses a small rodent clinging to one's genitals as a means of censorship!
This series is Simon's story. Once he was just a kid with a drill who lived underground, doing little else but making holes until he breaks free to the surface using the baby mecha. He's an introspective, somewhat timid boy who is prone to spazzing and stuttering when placed in crazy situations. Often unsure of himself and hesitant, Simon is inspired often by older brother figure Kamina with great hits like "BELIEVE IN ME WHO BELIEVES IN YOU." Once properly inspired, his shounen retard levels skyrocket and he acts properly foolish as all shounen heroes must do.
Sample Post:
What kind of place is this?! There's no Ganmen here to fight, which is good. But I've only been here ten minutes and beastmen have already kidnapped Lagann! I. I don't know why they had a baby bottle filled with oil or a giant cradle for him. I don't know why they had a blue bonnet and booties in his size either. He's a baby mecha, I guess, but baby mechas aren't like people babies! ...I think. And you shouldn't kidnap babies, mechas or people! It's NOT okay!
I need to find Lagann, but I don't even know where to start. First, I think I need to eat. I can't rescue anything if I don't keep my strength up and they'll hear me coming if my stomach growls. I found something called duct tape but that isn't very good to chew on. When I was unrolling it--all these ducks showed up! They're too cute to eat, even if they have little pointy teeth. Now I know exactly what I need to do though. I'm going to find some stakes and steaks will appear.
That's my idea, anyway. Those other kids seem really intent on finding something called Pussywillow and don't seem interested in anything else. I don't think a cat sounds very good to eat. People from above ground are weird.
Everyone is all excited about finding the stuff. Maybe cat really is their favorite food. I think they used uh t-t-too much though because that is one big cat...! Too big for us to eat! More like...we're just the right size for it to eat US! And I don't have Lagann and none of us have weapons--I can't use any of this and...!! What would Kamina do?! He'd probably say since I don't believe in myself, I should believe in him who believes in me. I DO believe in him, but do I believe in him believing in me more than I believe in the GIANT CAT WITH BIG TEETH'S belief that I am what's for dinner or those ducks which just started BREATHING FIRE believing in my destiny as a burning object or those fuzzy buck toothed things believing...well, I don't know what they believe, what they are, and when did they even get here?!
I need to make a diagram or something. This is confusing me... But there's not time for that! I need to do...anything! I need to help everyone! I can't give up, even if it looks bad...! HEY, GIANT CAT! I..I--...
The cat ate the ducks and fuzzy things and walked away. Yes, I know that was boring and didn't amount to anything. D-don't complain about something like that! You got to be kidding me!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kamina
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Character Age: 19?
Canon: Gurren Lagann is the tale of manly hearts, manly mecha, and manly men exploding into destiny and flaunting their drills that will carry them to heaven! This tale features the mighty Gurren, proud mech whose solid frame and dazzling sunglasses lead the human resistance against the oppressive and overbearing beastmen who plague the surface! This is Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann! The only series where you can see the animation budget dwindle away until the next payday!
This series is Kamina's story. The proud leader of the Gurren Brigade, the underground hovel he called home was too at odds with his burning passion to ever be able to hold his mighty frame down; together with Simon, his self-styled little brother who needs constant teaching in the ways of recursive belief, he rockets upwards as fast as his ambitions towards the skies he remembers from childhood. Impulsive, unwilling to back down and suicidally reckless, he nevertheless has the charisma and strength to almost immediately assume command of an impressive band of anti-beastmen human warriors via inspirational speeches that would have Abe Lincoln and Julius Caesar itching to rocket punch something into oblivion.
Sample Post:
Oi, oi, oi, oi!
What the hell's going on here? Tch! These purple things had better be good eating, 'cause if another one jumps out at me and tries to hump my leg, this Lord Kamina's going to show it exactly what happens when you try to deface his fine body. Even if I don't know where Gurren's got to, long as I have the pride of the Gurren Brigade and this sword I won't stop fighting! ... oi, oi! That doesn't mean /you/ can! Tch, too fast to catch, eh? Where's Yoko's slow ass when you need her rifle? Fucking furries.
--oi! That's got to be it! That barrier and all this weird crap: it's a concentration camp? Tceh! Those damn beastmen, when did they get something like this together? More than that, why'd they get something like this together? If it's not to kill us, then... experiments? Forcing us into those damn hot springs again? It can't be-- breeding grounds?!
Simon! Oi, Simon! Where are you? Geh, if you're getting ravished by something in a bush, there'll be hell to pay!
Looks like I've got to do everything myself, heh. The little runt had better be safe, at least. --alright, you guys! Form up, form up! All of you are now proud and noble members of the Gurren Brigade, and all of you are getting out of here in one piece--hm? Heh! Good answer! Alright, all of you are getting out of here in as many pieces as you started at! I wouldn't let any of my subordinates get hurt, no matter if it's by someone else or their own stupidity!
Never fear! The glorious Lord Kamina is here, whose name makes the heavens tremble and babies burst into tears, whose sights are always set ahead and whose mighty arm will tear to shreds anything that stands in his way! If you're trapped, fight back! If you're wounded, fight back! With all of us together, the furries don't stand a chance, so let's team up and show them what we're made of, even if it is oozing pus and off-color! Believe in your comrades, who believe in you! And remember, if you've got to give it all you've got, use your secret techniques and unite for full power!
What th--!? Oi, not like that! Oi! What the hell do you think this is?!
Character: Kamina
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Character Age: 19? Unspecified, but young enough to be treated as one of the village hooligans.
Canon: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann is Gainax’s current super-robot show which showcases the directing skills of today’s most talented anime directors and a lot of general mayhem. Beastmen rule the surface of the planet, using wacky mecha to exterminate any humans who dare crawl their way to the surface from their underground villages.
Kamina used to live in one such village, and spent his days gathering the local hooligans into a gang called the Gurren Brigade, formed for executing Kamina's crazy schemes to escape to the surface. None of them actually worked, he and the main character Simon lucked out when a giant mecha crashed through the ceiling one day, bringing the sexy sniper Yoko along for the ride. Kamina has an over-abundance in self confidence. He’s prone to bragging, giving himself titles and epithets, and hijacking your stuff if he thinks you’ve lost the right to own it. He’ll steal your sword, your mech and even your mech’s cool hat in the middle of a fight and stick it on his own robot. His philosophy is that nothing is impossible if one believes in himself, and possibly more importantly, that things are worth doing if they look cool.
Sample Post:
Eh, what the hell is all this? I followed some weird old guy thinking that there would be hot springs, but all I see is that glowing lake and I sure as hell don’t see any hot women in there. Screw this, I’m outta here.
Whaddya mean “I can’t just leave Camp Fuck You Die?” What the hell is that, and what the hell is a “barrier?” For a real man, there are no such things as “barriers!” Ha, don’t tell me it’s impossible to break through it. I see buildings. People are actually living in this hell hole, that means that someone among them has the kind of burning passion to crack right through this “invincible barrier” of yours. Watch me, I’ll get the lot of them to knock it down. After all, just who the hell do you think you’re dealing with here?
Oi oi oi oi oi oi oi!
Campers! I am Lord Kamina of Jiiha village who has drilled to the surface! Slayer of beastmen, whose name calms the crying of children! If there is a barrier, knock it down! If you need a bridge, build it! Go beyond the impossible and kick reason to the curb, for that is the Gurren Brigade way! For those among you who have balls, show me the spirit of your manhood, and maybe I'll let you join with me to drill through this fucking barrier and all the way to the Heavens!
Poll Vote!
EDIT EDIT: As of this round, there's a grand total of eighteen apps left. This is a tiny round as predicted! So if you're not burned out please do drop by and vote. Everyone worked omega hard as usual. >:
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. POOL'S CLOSED
Character: Li Shunsheng / Hei
Age: Unknown; appears to be anywhere between 19 and 21. (passes as a young university student)
Series: Darker than Black
Canon: Darker than Black is the story about how messed up the world is after disaster struck Tokyo ten years ago and made a strange new territory called Hell's Gate. Ever since then, organizations around the world have begun to use people capable of using supernatural abilities for a price -- known as Contractors -- to uncover what exactly happened to the area. Li Shunsheng appears to be a normal, good-hearted young man who has just arrived in Tokyo to study abroad. Polite, soft-spoken, and interested in astronomy, Li is quick to keep his mouth shut and let someone else talk before putting in his own opinion. It's not that hard for him, since he tends to be stuffing his mouth with food whenever he gets the chance to eat.
He's your typical "big brother" type, but his role in the story is much more than that: he is a Contractor known as Hei who works for a mysterious organization. As a Contractor, his slick, emotionless demeanor directly contrasts Li's "big brother" persona. Hei is the type that Does Not Take Shit; he'd gladly break your fingers if it meant getting more information, particularly in regards to his own Token Emo Past. When he's not doing that, he has a tendency to wax poetic on How Things Are. To Hei, everything and anything is srs bizness. >:(!
While both are two sides of the same coin (hello double life!), Li/Hei for all intents and purposes acts as Li around anyone and anything outside of the organization unless given reason to act otherwise, with only parts of his Hei persona slipping through every now and then.
Sample Post:
Um, excuse me! I don't mean to intrude, but I've somehow managed to get turned around while trying to find a place to stargaze. One of your locals, a very kind yet slightly decayed Brayne Sects-san, had been trying to direct me to a place around here where I could get a good view. I think she may have been a bit confused as to what I meant by that, since her initial suggestion was to peer down through a hole in the ceiling only big enough for a small feline. That's entirely in the wrong direction, and more along the lines of voyeurism, anyway.
Still, it was generous of her to try to help, since this is the first time I've been able to visit America. The stars here are completely different from the ones I used to see back home, even though I thought Sagittarius wasn't that . . . explicit in other parts of the world . . . Ah, I had been hoping to get out far away enough from the city lights to see more of the constellations, but this might be a case of seeing far, far too much. Sagittarius seems quite occupied with himself at the moment, in any case.
The truth is that this wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I decided to take a vacation. I'd been told that the bayou wasn't a bad place for astronomy if you could ignore the alligators and whatnot, but I never thought I'd actually meet an alligator face-to-face. He seemed to be quite friendly to me at first. . . . but creatures like that exist to be deceptive; you cannot trust them, no matter what. Alligators are cunning urban predators, quick to bite off more than they can chew. Zig-zagged runs are useless against such monsters; all you can do is run, run in a straight line, and live . . .
. . . is what I told Sects-san, anyway! I was fortunate to run into her. She may have been a bit too friendly, though. When I mentioned that I was looking for stars and other celestial bodies, she, um, seemed more inclined to offer her own instead. I had to politely inform her that no, I was not that kind of man, and yes, there were better ways to support herself and her seven small zombabies. I even went as far as to offer her some fresh alligator meat to help with the little ones as well. She eventually directed me here, to the best place in the camp to stargaze, telling me that the moon's phase would impress me greatly. I haven't had a chance to take a closer look until now, but I wasn't aware that there was something so special about this ph-
-- ah. That is quite an impressive, er . . . "face."
Poll Vote!
Name: Minami "Ikki" Itsuki
Series: Air Gear
Character Age: 15
Canon: Air Gear is about Storm Riders, punk kids who ride around on Air Treks (A-Ts, or motorized rollerblades) and form gangs to fight in gravity-defying battles to gain more territory and recognition. After being beaten and humiliated by a group of psycho Storm Riders known as the Skull Saders, our hero Ikki was about to give up on his manhood, but the the domineering sisters he lives with who usually use Ikki as their servant give him the chance to get his vengeance - by gifting him with a pair of A-T of his own. After winning against the enemy and getting addicted to the sensation of "flying", Ikki forms a Storm Rider team of his own with his childhood friends, beginning a quest to become a True Shounen Hero by owning bad guys, making them gay for him, and then getting them to join his team.
As the leader of the Kogarasumaru, Ikki is passionate, dependable, and strong, but he's also reckless and disregards the rules, all the while referring to himself as a God. He's constantly making his mark on the A-T world and gathering the attention of other talented Storm Riders in true shounen retard fashion. Though he claims to be a genius - and very well might be - Ikki's logic can be very SPECIAL. This is evident in plenty of what he says and does, such as declaring he's not effected by a rock-shattering punch to the face because he "had a skull implanted in his forehead," showing up naked behind an opponent to scare him, or using a bulldozer to declare battle on a team. Between that and the crow that lives in his hair that he sometimes uses to shoot at people, it's no surprise that he's referred to by even his most devoted teammates as the "stupid hero."
Sample Post:
I'd heard rumors, but man, you guys are the most pathetic-looking team I've ever seen! Sure, the Living Dead sounds like a great team name - even I can respect how scary the dead can be! - but costumes alone aren't enough to prove your skill, since presentation is only a part of the team dynamic. Ignoring the fact you're ripping off a classic movie here, I can still pity you, deep down in my heart. And I mean deep down. It must be hard without a humble, genius leader like myself to lead you down the path of badassness. But you know what? Since I'm such a nice guy, I'll give you a quick lesson right now. Rule Number One of How To Be A Badass Team: PAY ATTENTION when another team is challenging you! Even the greatest teams know when to get down on their knees and give respect!
Listening now? Let me tell you what's about to happen! As soon as everyone else arrives, This God Ikki and his legion of loyal followers will show you that it's a bad idea not to take the Kogarasumaru seriously! Do you know what happened to the last team that underestimated us? We kicked their asses so hard they've been shitting themselves for weeks! So now that you know who I am, you should be trembling in fear! Well, are you?
-- Wait, why are you walking away!? You can't walk away from a challenge! Alright, if you want to be technical, you can't hobble away from a -- hey, hold up a sec! Where are your A-Ts? Oi, I'm talking to you!
I'VE SEEN NEWBORNS WITH BIGGER BALLS THAN YOU GUYS. What a waste of time! No A-Ts?! Maybe this is some sort of psychological warfare, some way they're gonna fuck with me to change my mind... wait, I got it! I bet these guys put this swamp together as an elaborate plan to spook me out in the hopes that by chance I'd recognize such a classic horror cliche, afterwards realizing "Oh snap, I'm gonna be battling against zombie wannabes." And then I'll remember that zombies eat brains and start to wonder if this team does the same thing like the fucking crazy cultists they are, and by the time I realize that it's all a great big hoax I've already ran away with my tail between my legs. Well?! I'm right, aren't I?
I knew it! Man, I'm such a genius. It was an audacious attempt, but if you think something like that will fool this God-like being, think again! I've already come up with a brilliant strategy to counteract your mind-fuck, one that the future generation, so awed by it's greatness, will try and fail to copy for years to come! You know what I'm going to do?
Absolutely nothing. Oh yeah, I bet you're trembling now.
Poll Vote!
Name: Sakuya Kira / Nanatsusaya
Age: Physically 18.
Series: Angel Sanctuary
Canon: In Ye Olde Long Time Ago there was an evil spirit trapped in a Holy Sword named Nanatsusaya. The Sword fell in love with the Angel That Wielded Him, and so when said Angel DIED the Sword decided to follow her soul to Earth and protect her throughout her many reincarnations. This goes on a long, long time until the Angel is reborn as one Mudou Setsuna, a nice kid with a bad hard-on for his little sister. Now excellent at stalking his angel across time and space, Nanatsusaya takes the body of dying young boy and becomes a human named Kira Sakuya.
Despite being an inhuman (and don't forget evil) spirit who claims to not understand love, Kira is well ruled by the emotion by the time the series starts. He puts up an excellent cool exterior: that of an aloof delinquent, ever with a cigarette in his mouth, who mocks others and does his best to appear unaffected by them. But in the end Kira is always the one still there for his friends when the rest of the world has abandoned them. Of course, he shows his affection by telling them in short words that they're dumb, but you have to care to abuse, right? Kira is implicitly honest when he's not being a lying liar about everything (like, say, not being human), and is more than capable of doing whatever he has to for the sake of the people he loves, no matter what the cost to himself.
Sample App:
What do you know, it looks like being a delinquent isn't enough anymore; now you have to write applications to get into prison camps. But a crazy bitch in charge is still a crazy bitch in charge, so I'll go along with what you want.
You didn't specify, so I'll pretend you want the truth, Crazy Nee-san. That means I can skip pretending I care about Louisiana, your camp, or the epic hostage situation you've got going on here. But it looks like two idiots who belong to me somehow got mixed up in your camp with all the other idiots, probably because if you're an idiot this is apparently the place to be. At least that's the only reason I can come up with for why a measly three hundred people would need to resort to video game mechanics to keep the population up.
Anyway, it'd be a waste if the druggie and the brat died in a place like this just because I left them on their own for a while. Not that I'll be wasting my time with a rescue attempt; I'm just here for the company. A little vacation. Those two can find their own way out of the dimensional bubble -- it builds character.
Though it doesn't seem like it's the type of character many men want. Have you noticed most of your idiots are also homos? Hey, Crazy Nee-san, did you ever consider that might be the secret behind your lover's 'death'? If he just faked it and ran off with his homo friend, it'd explain why your 'investigation' isn't getting very far. Maybe if you tried being cuter, things wouldn't have turned out this way.
Not that it matters anymore what the purpose of this place used to be; they've got their hooks into you now, don't they? And these stubborn humans can be really hard to break away from sometimes...
But I wonder what that says about the ones who don't even try to escape. Right, Crazy-nee?
Poll Vote!
Character: Virgil Ovid Hawkins/Static
Series: Static Shock
Character Age: 16-17
Canon: It's a bird! It's a plane! ...It's a teenager flying on a trash can lid? Close enough. Static Shock revolves around the life and times of Virgil Hawkins, who gained his electrical powers by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. When his home town, Dakota, became overrun by superpowered criminals, Virgil created his super alterego "Static" and now fights crime with his boyfriend best friend Richie.
Virgil is a typical dork who listens to bad music, watches bad horror movies and occasionally makes very stupid mistakes. He has the ego the size of the Internet and makes the worst puns/jokes (and naming his attacks after himself). However, Virgil has a very strong sense of justice and in the end, can always be counted to do the right thing (in true shounen retard style). He's very close to his family, despite his constant bickering with his sister Sharon and has been best friends with Richie ever since...well, for quite a while now. He has a tendency to be rash and impulsive, sometimes not caring if he hurt other people he cared about, but he's loyal to many faults.
Sample Post:
Zombie Count so far - 300.
Hello Zombie-boy, this is your worst nightmare Static, here to protect the world from cannibalism, slime attacks and bad hair-days. C'mon people, let me hear that roar!
Okay, maybe not. But don't worry! This amazingly hot superhero will protect camp from harm with his equally astounding powers! Watch how he blasts that ninja zombie on the tree branch without even looking! Watch how he swoops on his flying disc of awesomeness! Watch how he-
-falls as he is ambushed by zombie jocks. How embarrasing. Ow, hey, watch the hair! You won't get away with this! Wait a second, don't touch that! Hey, where are you taking me? Oh no, not the lake!
Oh great. Now I have to wash the costume again. Do you know how difficult it is to wash your superhero costume without anyone in your family noticing?! The last time I tried to wash my costume, my sister thought I was sick and forced me to spend the entire day in bed.
I rather not go through that again. Man, I'm never going to get this gunk off. I just hope it doesn't stain. I don't suppose anyone has Stain Remover?
...Thank you, Mister-er, I mean, Miss Tentacle Monster.
Poll Vote!
Character: Richard "Richie" Osgood Foley/Gear
Series: Static Shock
Character Age: 16-17
Canon: One night in the quiet city of Dakota, there was a gas explosion at the docks. Said gas was a mutagen which changed all those that came into contact with it and granted many with superpowers - they are known as the "Bang Babies". Virgil Hawkins, one of the stronger Bang Babies with electromagnetic powers, decides to become a superhero after a prompt from a friend. With the alias "Static" and catch-phrases like "I put a shock to your system!", he patrols Dakota fighting the zillion other Bang Babies who have all turned to crime.
Best friend and confidant of Virgil, Richie Foley was the first to nominate said best friend to superhero status. He's just another teenager obsessed with fast food, bad horror flicks and comic books. Richie's quirky and confident, and he's the real comic book guru in the duo, inventing new catch-phrases and even choosing the costume for Static. Along the way he finds out that he's also a Bang Baby (a late-bloomer at that) with the non-offensive superpower - super-intelligence, much to his dismay, and an aptitude for inventing technology and programs from scratch. After this revelation, he takes on the name "Gear" and graduates from a behind-the-scenes-sidekick to Static's partner-in-crime-fighting. Even after becoming a superhero however, Richie remains a dork - what other superheroes video-tapes their fights and review them like a football team would to a game?
Sample Post:
You know why having super-intelligence really sucks? Try having your brain supply you with the thirty-three possible ways you could die from a situation such as a zombie attack.
When you are, in fact, currently a hapless victim of a zombie attack.
But seriously. This just doesn't make any sense! How can a zombie doing that to you be the most probable and least painful way to die? I mean, come on, why it would do that in the first place is... questionable and that angle will just- Oh. Right. Thank you for the diagram, brain. Okay, yeah, that might just kill me.
So getting separated from your best friend in unknown territory is not a good idea. Getting separated from your best friend in a place that's apparently infested with zombies is also not a very good idea. If said friend also happens to be the one with the superpower that will be useful against bodies of rotting flesh, then getting separated from them is really, really not a good idea. Shows how much of a genius you are, Richie.
So yeah. Zombies.
Not like this is anything new. Only last time I was actually part of this moaning grey mass of unthinking droids and didn't have to figure out a way to escape. Well, okay, technically last time I was more of a mind-controlled brain puppet than a zombie. Don't think my flesh was rotting and dropping off like that either. And really, I don't remember calling out "Braaaains" every two seconds and making bold dives onto people's heads and h-hey! One more time, one last time, I won't say it again, you filthy undead Lurch wannabe! Watch it and stay back, or I will-
Hey!! What do you think you're doing? No! Keep your stinking hands off of me- I mean, er, no! Think, Richie, think. You're surrounded by hungry zombies waiting to get into your skull. What do you do in a situation like this? I, er... Zombie friends! Gross undead! Leper drones! Lend me your, er, actually, not to risk literalism errors, USE your ears! To listen to me! Dude, this is so overused. It's been a real pleasure meeting you guys! And I believe there has been a terrible misunderstanding! It's not like I don't want to stay with you! In fact, I would love to! But since I'm a man of unfortunate circumstances and right now I kind of need to find my friend and get the heck out of here, I have no choice but to leave you! Also, some friendly advice to you brain-lovers! I really don't think super-intelligence adds much flavour to the old noodle, so there really isn't much point to you eating mine. Heh, adding flavour to the old noodle, get it?
Okay, fine. You don't get it. And of course, that last statement is more encouraging than discouraging. What else is new, Richie? No, seriously, I won't taste good. My grey matter probably tastes like stale pizza or something.
...so backing up to a banana tree gives my brain enough inspiration to construct the thirty-fourth possible death scene for me. Fantastic.
Man, I told Virgil that laser vision would be way cooler than having superbrains.
Poll Vote!
Character: Simon
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Character Age: 14
Canon: Gurren Lagann is the story about a man who has yet to realize his own destiny--so claims the overly dramatic introduction. Said story includes a Ganman--aka mecha--that stands at an impressive five foot something and an older brother figure with a flair for overly dramatic speeches. This is Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann! The only series that uses a small rodent clinging to one's genitals as a means of censorship!
This series is Simon's story. Once he was just a kid with a drill who lived underground, doing little else but making holes until he breaks free to the surface using the baby mecha. He's an introspective, somewhat timid boy who is prone to spazzing and stuttering when placed in crazy situations. Often unsure of himself and hesitant, Simon is inspired often by older brother figure Kamina with great hits like "BELIEVE IN ME WHO BELIEVES IN YOU." Once properly inspired, his shounen retard levels skyrocket and he acts properly foolish as all shounen heroes must do.
Sample Post:
What kind of place is this?! There's no Ganmen here to fight, which is good. But I've only been here ten minutes and beastmen have already kidnapped Lagann! I. I don't know why they had a baby bottle filled with oil or a giant cradle for him. I don't know why they had a blue bonnet and booties in his size either. He's a baby mecha, I guess, but baby mechas aren't like people babies! ...I think. And you shouldn't kidnap babies, mechas or people! It's NOT okay!
I need to find Lagann, but I don't even know where to start. First, I think I need to eat. I can't rescue anything if I don't keep my strength up and they'll hear me coming if my stomach growls. I found something called duct tape but that isn't very good to chew on. When I was unrolling it--all these ducks showed up! They're too cute to eat, even if they have little pointy teeth. Now I know exactly what I need to do though. I'm going to find some stakes and steaks will appear.
That's my idea, anyway. Those other kids seem really intent on finding something called Pussywillow and don't seem interested in anything else. I don't think a cat sounds very good to eat. People from above ground are weird.
Everyone is all excited about finding the stuff. Maybe cat really is their favorite food. I think they used uh t-t-too much though because that is one big cat...! Too big for us to eat! More like...we're just the right size for it to eat US! And I don't have Lagann and none of us have weapons--I can't use any of this and...!! What would Kamina do?! He'd probably say since I don't believe in myself, I should believe in him who believes in me. I DO believe in him, but do I believe in him believing in me more than I believe in the GIANT CAT WITH BIG TEETH'S belief that I am what's for dinner or those ducks which just started BREATHING FIRE believing in my destiny as a burning object or those fuzzy buck toothed things believing...well, I don't know what they believe, what they are, and when did they even get here?!
I need to make a diagram or something. This is confusing me... But there's not time for that! I need to do...anything! I need to help everyone! I can't give up, even if it looks bad...! HEY, GIANT CAT! I..I--...
The cat ate the ducks and fuzzy things and walked away. Yes, I know that was boring and didn't amount to anything. D-don't complain about something like that! You got to be kidding me!
Poll Vote!
Character: Kamina
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Character Age: 19?
Canon: Gurren Lagann is the tale of manly hearts, manly mecha, and manly men exploding into destiny and flaunting their drills that will carry them to heaven! This tale features the mighty Gurren, proud mech whose solid frame and dazzling sunglasses lead the human resistance against the oppressive and overbearing beastmen who plague the surface! This is Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann! The only series where you can see the animation budget dwindle away until the next payday!
This series is Kamina's story. The proud leader of the Gurren Brigade, the underground hovel he called home was too at odds with his burning passion to ever be able to hold his mighty frame down; together with Simon, his self-styled little brother who needs constant teaching in the ways of recursive belief, he rockets upwards as fast as his ambitions towards the skies he remembers from childhood. Impulsive, unwilling to back down and suicidally reckless, he nevertheless has the charisma and strength to almost immediately assume command of an impressive band of anti-beastmen human warriors via inspirational speeches that would have Abe Lincoln and Julius Caesar itching to rocket punch something into oblivion.
Sample Post:
Oi, oi, oi, oi!
What the hell's going on here? Tch! These purple things had better be good eating, 'cause if another one jumps out at me and tries to hump my leg, this Lord Kamina's going to show it exactly what happens when you try to deface his fine body. Even if I don't know where Gurren's got to, long as I have the pride of the Gurren Brigade and this sword I won't stop fighting! ... oi, oi! That doesn't mean /you/ can! Tch, too fast to catch, eh? Where's Yoko's slow ass when you need her rifle? Fucking furries.
--oi! That's got to be it! That barrier and all this weird crap: it's a concentration camp? Tceh! Those damn beastmen, when did they get something like this together? More than that, why'd they get something like this together? If it's not to kill us, then... experiments? Forcing us into those damn hot springs again? It can't be-- breeding grounds?!
Simon! Oi, Simon! Where are you? Geh, if you're getting ravished by something in a bush, there'll be hell to pay!
Looks like I've got to do everything myself, heh. The little runt had better be safe, at least. --alright, you guys! Form up, form up! All of you are now proud and noble members of the Gurren Brigade, and all of you are getting out of here in one piece--hm? Heh! Good answer! Alright, all of you are getting out of here in as many pieces as you started at! I wouldn't let any of my subordinates get hurt, no matter if it's by someone else or their own stupidity!
Never fear! The glorious Lord Kamina is here, whose name makes the heavens tremble and babies burst into tears, whose sights are always set ahead and whose mighty arm will tear to shreds anything that stands in his way! If you're trapped, fight back! If you're wounded, fight back! With all of us together, the furries don't stand a chance, so let's team up and show them what we're made of, even if it is oozing pus and off-color! Believe in your comrades, who believe in you! And remember, if you've got to give it all you've got, use your secret techniques and unite for full power!
What th--!? Oi, not like that! Oi! What the hell do you think this is?!
Character: Kamina
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Character Age: 19? Unspecified, but young enough to be treated as one of the village hooligans.
Canon: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann is Gainax’s current super-robot show which showcases the directing skills of today’s most talented anime directors and a lot of general mayhem. Beastmen rule the surface of the planet, using wacky mecha to exterminate any humans who dare crawl their way to the surface from their underground villages.
Kamina used to live in one such village, and spent his days gathering the local hooligans into a gang called the Gurren Brigade, formed for executing Kamina's crazy schemes to escape to the surface. None of them actually worked, he and the main character Simon lucked out when a giant mecha crashed through the ceiling one day, bringing the sexy sniper Yoko along for the ride. Kamina has an over-abundance in self confidence. He’s prone to bragging, giving himself titles and epithets, and hijacking your stuff if he thinks you’ve lost the right to own it. He’ll steal your sword, your mech and even your mech’s cool hat in the middle of a fight and stick it on his own robot. His philosophy is that nothing is impossible if one believes in himself, and possibly more importantly, that things are worth doing if they look cool.
Sample Post:
Eh, what the hell is all this? I followed some weird old guy thinking that there would be hot springs, but all I see is that glowing lake and I sure as hell don’t see any hot women in there. Screw this, I’m outta here.
Whaddya mean “I can’t just leave Camp Fuck You Die?” What the hell is that, and what the hell is a “barrier?” For a real man, there are no such things as “barriers!” Ha, don’t tell me it’s impossible to break through it. I see buildings. People are actually living in this hell hole, that means that someone among them has the kind of burning passion to crack right through this “invincible barrier” of yours. Watch me, I’ll get the lot of them to knock it down. After all, just who the hell do you think you’re dealing with here?
Oi oi oi oi oi oi oi!
Campers! I am Lord Kamina of Jiiha village who has drilled to the surface! Slayer of beastmen, whose name calms the crying of children! If there is a barrier, knock it down! If you need a bridge, build it! Go beyond the impossible and kick reason to the curb, for that is the Gurren Brigade way! For those among you who have balls, show me the spirit of your manhood, and maybe I'll let you join with me to drill through this fucking barrier and all the way to the Heavens!
Poll Vote!