(no subject)
Hello hello, and good morning to you all! It's time for an Early Risers round now that all applications are in! Please stop by to vote on this quite excellent round of hopefuls ♥
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Kururugi Suzaku
Series: Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion
Character Age: 17
Canon: The year is 2017 a.t.b., and the Holy Britannian Empire has taken over a third of the world including Japan, now known as "Area 11." Driven by injustice in his past, the Britannian youth Lelouch Lamperouge uses his intellect and the power gained from a mysterious girl to lead a rebellion against his nation under the alias of "Zero." Important themes include the ambiguity of justice, the concealment of one's true nature, and the problems that occur when very angry teenagers get a hold of very big guns.
Opposing Lelouch and his Order of the Black Knights is Lelouch's childhood friend, Kururugi Suzaku: Knightmare (giant robot) pilot extraordinaire, pseudo-Jesus, and tasty snack for cats everywhere. Although the son of the deceased Japanese Prime Minister, Suzaku has pledged his allegiance to the side of Britannia in his quest to improve the situation from the inside out. He is often friendly, gentle, and exceedingly polite in his interactions with others, and yet simultaneously committed to his job as a soldier. Loath to disobey any rules or orders, he accepts whatever mission he may be thrust into with no complaint-that is, unless he must cause unnecessary harm to others. He is given to passionate speeches on justice!1!one! and gleefully leaps into giant explosions to save civilians. His Tragic and Emo Past® has also given him a slight case of the crazies, but they will be Sirs Not Appearing in This App.
Note: to avoid some serious spoilers, Suzaku is being taken from just after episode 21.
Sample Post:
Hello? Does anyone know where I can find Foque Yuu-san? He gave me a piece of his mind earlier, and I would feel badly if I didn't return it to him after he was kind enough to point out the procedure for entry. I already completed all the requested forms and turned them in at the front desk. They were, er, very thorough! This is the first time that I've ever been asked for my species, among other things. Ah-will all of it really go on record? I know you said that you like to take precautions since the database is prone to errors, but I wonder how much of that information is really necessary...
-Oh. I'm being rude, aren't I? Thank you for allowing me to enter Area 51 as a visitor. Although, I think you may have given me the wrong identification tag. Major Major Major would be an unfortunate name, wouldn't it? My name is actually Major Kururugi Suzaku-it's an honor to meet you and your comrades in arms! Admittedly, I did not expect the same pair of arms to be shared among the group; the mainlander connotation of the phrase must be different.
I'm sorry, I should explain the situation. I'm here to investigate claims of a rising insurgency against Britannia. And as it seems, the tips don't lie. Upon entering, I received a small pamphlet containing some disturbing information. Very disturbing information. According to this, the entire population is now under the control of one woman and her policies as outlined by Rule 34. When I asked about the nature of these policies, I was advised to watch for examples or seek out the corollary to the rule. Additionally, not only is every resident equipped with their choice of shotgun, sword, or " h@xx0r mind control powers," but I have reason to believe that there may have been a security breach in the local military base. Tell me-is it true that you have the stuff that Knightmares are made of?
The evidence can't be overlooked. By the power invested in me by the Holy Britannian Empire, I'm afraid I must now pronounce you all under arrest. I urge you... accept these charges peacefully, and leave your lives as terrorists behind. You may think that you are invincible and that terrorists such as the Black Knights always triumph, but these rebellions are only causing more damage. How many names must be struck out of existence for the sake of your ideals? How many times must you interfere with the worldwide communication system before you are satisfied? No-nothing comes of it, I know it. We can't allow the empire to be divided by Zero, or any other party! Now please, give up your arms and-
... firearms. Please give up your firearms. I... didn't think there would be a misunderstanding.
Poll Vote!
Character: Mimasaka Ryou
Series: Air Gear
Age: 17
Canon: In the world of Air Gear, gangs of rollerbladers rule the streets, battling each other for particularly awesome pieces of skating technology. Young street punk Minami Ikki seeks to conquer this seedy scene, and one of his first major obstacles is Behemoth, a team famous for its huge size and powerful leadership. One of those leaders is Mimasaka Ryou, also known as the Gorgon Shield, who fights with the power of . . . exotic dancing. Her seductive movements, combined with the hypnotic patterns of the tattoos that cover her skin, allow her to freeze her opponents in their tracks.
Ryou isn't the most inhibited person in the world, obviously--physically speaking, anyway. She has supreme confidence in her beauty and its ability to put her opponents off guard, particularly when it comes to male opponents. Said confidence is tinged with more than a little bitterness towards Air Gear's male-dominated fighting scene and her humiliation at its hands early in her career. As a result, her usual demeanor is haughty and disdainful. Ryou does have a gentler side, a creamy center underneath the hard shell, but it's rarely seen; indeed, not even the man she loves (Sano Yasuyoshi, a fellow Behemoth leader) can bring it to the surface often.
Sample Post:
Oh, this is just the worst. I receive a challenge from a team calling itself the Zombies, but when I arrive in their territory, what do I find? Well, that they live up to their name, for one--but more importantly, that their "challenge" was just a pretense to get me to dance for them! How typical of men; even when their genitals have rotted off, that's all they can think with. As if that weren't bad enough, they also expect me to perform on this rickety wooden stage they built, with a pole that isn't even sanded down. And risk getting splinters in some truly uncomfortable places in the process? Sorry, but no, this will not be happening.
Now they're assailing me with catcalls--do they even have ears? Well, at second glance, several of them don't, but--I said no. Your ilk isn't worthy to behold the mind-numbing beauty of Mimasaka Ryou, the Gorgon Shield! So it doesn't matter how many times you try to cajole me into it, I will not "take it all off," especially when your idea of doing so seems to involve layers of skin. What you all have failed or refused to grasp is that my dancing is part of a fighting style, not merely for your entertainment--not that I think I'd even need to use it to take the lot of you out. Incidentally, I'll be testing that theory in a second if another one of you tries to tuck a severed finger into my G-string. That is not how you tip.
Ugh, nevermind, you all just aren't worth the time or effort. Go find some stripper zombies to pester if you're so hard up, assuming they exist. Pft, stripper zombies--what a ridiculous thought! I am going to find an opponent actually worth destroying with his own base desires . . . hmmm, like that purple-clad slab of muscle I see off in the distance. As I always say: the bigger they are, the harder they get--and the harder they get, the more satisfying it is to see them crumple from a single, well-aimed kick to the crotch. That's an odd suit he's wearing, but I doubt it'll provide him much protection, so! Hey there, big boy~ Wanna give it a go? Why don't you turn around and get a look . . . at . . .
Er, you know--never mind! I'm suddenly feeling a little underdressed.
Poll Vote!
Character: Fujisaki Suguru
Series: Gravitation
Character Age: 17
Canon: Sometimes you're behind the wheel cruising at one hundred fifty miles per hour with Spice Girls playing, and other times you're the one screaming in the back of the car with your life flashing before your eyes to Spice Up Your Life. ...Fujisaki is the latter. When Fujisaki signed on as the keyboardist for Bad Luck, he became involved in a world of giant mecha, gunfights, poor fashion sense, and, of course, music. It's a good thing he is something of a prodigy: able to create great arrangements on the fly, produce single after single, and get Shuichi to actually work. Fujisaki is an outsider within Bad Luck at first, but eventually becomes one of the gang.
Fujisaki's focused on what he wants and works hard for it. He's determined to make his own way in the world, instead of remaining in his cousin's, Tomha Seguchi, shadow. Despite that, the two are eerily similar. Fujisaki can be perfectly nice with a smile one second, and calculating and serious the next. He isn't above threatening others or ass kissing to get what his way. However, Fujisaki isn't without his moments of wide-spread panic, and is the first of the three band members to begin crying when things don't go as planned.
Shindou Shuichi and Nakano Hiroshi mentioned with permission from players.
Sample App:
I suppose it counts as creative advertising when they said the studio was right on the water with an intoxicating scent. The intoxicating scent of roadkill with a side of swamp gas...and marshmallows? The place was in a bad shape, but thankfully I've managed to make it into a satisfactory studio. The workers were more unruly than the haunted recording booth though. I guess they weren't kidding about d-dying for art. I understand Americans are eccentric, but insisting on wearing these purple gorilla suits everyday is just a little much! They are hard workers once they are given the right incentive though. I don't know what 'goofy pron' is, but that's what the internet is for. And why they feel the need to remix my songs which are already perfect is beyond me though. I can encourage hard work, but a megamix is just ridiculous!
Now, hopefully they've found some decent talent when they weren't working on my work. I don't see why they had to orchestrate a singing contest across the country with that Ryan Deadcrest, but if it's proven useful then perhaps we could continue it for another...twenty or so times. We have to get to new talent as soon we can~. Let's see...Five Cents? He was shot fifty times? What a low number... Well, he was lucky to live, but not as lucky with music. What else is there? Virgin Mary? I'm not sure N-G can endorse a performer with singles like Like a Hooker.
Ah, do I need to strip everyone's pay for the day? --I thought so. Now, get back to work I want those albums for Britney Shaves and Jenny Topaz by tomorrow! Good, good. Once I make this studio famous throughout America with a wave of hit singers, I'll take all of this talent with me and open my own record company. The day when B-L Records will open is close... Oh, what is it, Goril-- I mean, G-san? Sorry, I forgot you liked your...p-pet name. You've found them? About time! Shindou-san and Nakano-san have had a long enough vacation.
I trust you're well learned in guerrilla tactics, G-san? --Well, that certainly is an i-inventive use of a microphone and chocolate, but I want them back fit to work, remember? Good, then begin the attack and bring those two to my office! I promise extra goofy pron and those tasty traps everyone likes to whoever catches them first, and remember to bring them alive!
Well, a few bullets wouldn't hurt, I guess. ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: Yoko
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Age: 16-ish
Canon: Gurren Lagann is the exciting story of a group of men who fight for their rights to party... on the surface. In a world where the human race has been forced to live underground by crazy mecha-riding furries, there exists a group of people who have decided to make a difference. These people are also known as the Great Gurren Brigade, and with the help of the shounen retardium-powered Gunmen (animal/antropomorphic shaped mechas) they mooched off the beastmen, they will bravely pierce through the heavens in search of their freedom.
Yoko is THE fanservice of Gurren Lagann; a bikini-clad hottie with an explosive personality who carries around a rifle nearly as tall as her. At first glance, she comes off as loud, bossy, arrogant, and completely oblivious to the meaning of the word modesty (her regular outfit consisting mainly of a bikini top and a pair of short shorts). But once you get to know her better, it's easy to see that Yoko is a brave, responsible, and sometimes incredibly clumsy person, who more often than not ends up being the voice of reason in the Brigade.
Sample Post:
Okay, before we go on any further? I think we need to have a serious talk here. First of all, I have nothing against you. You're pretty cute and it was really sweet of you to give me your nuts in a box as a welcome gift! Then you helped me get out that stinkin' swamp by distracting the alligator that was trying to eat us -- I would've never guessed you were so good at tapdancing.
And you know, it's not like I'm not used to small, fuzzy animals making themselves comfortable in my chest for extended periods of time. But the moment you started stuffing my bikini with seeds and fruits? You crossed a line, little fellow. There are LIMITS to everything, and if you do pretend on remaining by my side, we're gonna have to come to an-- h-hey get back here, I'm not done yet! I. Oh, fine, be that way! GO MAKE YOUR NEST BETWEEN THAT WOMAN'S BREASTS, THEN! SEE IF I CARE WHEN YOU PERISH SQUASHED BETWEEN THEM! I bet they'll fall off the moment you touch them, just like the rest of her!
Tch, whatever! It's better if I do this on my own. I already know that shooting at the invisible barrier will only turn my bullets into sausage-shaped balloons, so I need to come up with a better plan. Speaking of which, just what kind of place is this Shifood village? It's plagued with beastmen of all kinds, but I still haven't been able to find one single human being! I thought they'd be hiding under the volcano, but all I could find there was an incredibly primitive laser-shooting Gunmen.
Well! If I can't use one I'll just have to use another, and I'm pretty sure there was one lurking in the lake; maybe this one will be powerful enough to blast through the barrier. All I have to do is catch its attention, right? A couple of shots to the water, and some rotting limbs should do the trick. Oh, and let's throw in some underwear from that tree just to be on the safe side, you never know with beastmen.
Heee~re, Gunmen Gunmen~ ♥ just let this cute Yoko-sama get inside of you and take control of your bod--WOAHHH! HEY! I said let ME get inside of YOU, not the other way around!
Poll Vote!
Character: Mukuro Rokudou
Series: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Character Age: Junior High School aged, 14-15ish?
Canon: Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is a comedy-action-what-the-hell-that-baby-has-a-bazooka story about a kid training to be a mafia boss. Along the way Tsuna (potential mafia boss and current moderately ungifted teen) encounters the typical enemies-turned-allies, enemies who want to just use him for his body and whacky hijinks that can only come from a Japanese comic book.
Mukuro Rokudou falls into the second category, mostly. His appearance in the Reborn! manga is heralded by a rash of assaults on school kids and the taking of their teeth. Worse than the tooth fairy, he's a guy who was exiled from the mafia. Mukuro is usually collected, behaves as though he is unapologetically better than you and maintains an illusion of polite ego. Mukuro is one of the masters of badtouch and raepination as one of his abilities is to possess other people's bodies and another is to create illusions. He loathes the mafia and can come off as a bit heartless. Despite this he also seems to deeply care for his subordinates.
Sample Post:
Welcome to Camp Fuck You Die! A pleasurable and pleasant experience for all involved! We've included a few pamphlets for your enjoyment to heighten your Camp experience! Please, enjoy your stay!*
*Residency restrictions may apply. Must be 21 or younger to enter at this time. If you are pregnant, have liver failure or are missing some organs please check into hospital at once and don't sue our asses. Not enjoying your time here is entirely not our fault, suck it up.
What a warm and inviting welcome, and a starter kit, how fun. My, you're a very thoughtful Director, going to all this trouble to make me feel welcome. It's even got my name on it and everything. Cute. It's quite the unusual grab-bag, a shotgun, laptop and … support group pamphlets? As I said, you're very thoughtful~.
Oh, that was rather careless of me. I've already run out of shells for my shotgun and made a bit of a mess. For all your consideration you seem to have hired incompetent and rude help - rather fitting of their background, I suppose. I'm sure your birds really just meant well, but you know what they say about voices in your head! Far better to eliminate all the noisy stupid ones, especially if they're not yours. Well, maybe they don't say that, but I certainly don't have any patience for tropical birds pretending they can speak Italian. I do however have patience for dead would-be feathered mafia carcasses. Funny how that works.
Mmm, well, that shotgun's usefulness was brief, wasn't it? Let's see if anything else can be of use. "From Enemies to Allies, a Guide on Sorting Through Your Badtouch Experiences or Expertise" does sound informative, but not for me. I'm sure there are many others who would benefit from it, however. They all seem to have a theme, it's as though you're trying to tell me something… but unfortunately I've never been very good at listening to authority.
Also, this laptop must be someone else's and is quite unusable. It says I've been banned from livejournal for a set of interests I never typed in. I certainly wouldn't fill my bio full of things like: tooth removal, rape, moar rape, mostest rape, tooth fetish and killing those mafia bastards.
…Well, one of those things is not quite like the other and far more acceptable than the rest.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Lu Xun (Boyan)
Series: Dynasty Warriors
Character Age: 17
Canon: Dynasty Warriors is a video game series based on a
novel based on real Ancient Chinese History™. Obviously, it's not the
most historically accurate representation of the time period out there,
but it sure is a hell of a lot of fun, with memorable characters (Even
if their names are a bit on the tricky side), epic "one man versus a
couple of armies" battles, catchy rock music, and cheesy dialogue!
A scholar by nature, Lu Xun was appointed to the rank of Grand
Commander, second in authority only to the Emperor of his kingdom,
despite his inexperience. Despite heavy opposition and the lack of
confidence from his own men, he immediately managed to deliver a
crushing defeat to an invading neighboring kingdom. This would secure
his position as a highly respected strategist and leader who would
eventually hold the rank of Prime Minister.
The game describes him in three words: "Polite and energetic." This is
true, especially when he's among allies, but it barely describes the
determined young man you often face if you happen to be playing one of
the opposing forces; one who will not hesitate to burn your camp to the
ground in the name of victory.
Sample Entry:
Lady Director, I am writing to inform you that I have met with your
undead envoy. He long elaborated on the terms of the duel to which I
have challenged you for the purpose of the release of myself and my
fellow comrades from this mockery of a camp, and I must say, I am most
displeased with the terms presented. However, I do admit I could simply
have misunderstood. Please allow me to repeat the terms for clarity's sake.
You, I have been informed, will not directly be participating. Instead,
you will be sending twenty-eight undead warriors of the highest caliber
and one gorilla to do battle with me in an elevated square platform
ringed by three elastic ropes. I (then and henceforth referred to by the
envoy as "The Ultimate Burninator") would begin the duel, unarmed, in
this ring and do battle with each combatant as they arrived at
ninety-second intervals. Elimination of combatants would occur when any
part of the body still attached to the torso touched the ground outside
of the ring after passing over the top rope. This was said to be a form
of duel known as the "Royal Rumble."
The envoy then went on to describe the actions I would be expected to
take in the Rumble, as well as further explanations of the rules. For
instance, in case of total dismemberment, a recognizable majority of the
combatant's remains must be pitched over the top rope in order for the
elimination to be official. All combatants (myself included), were not
only permitted, but encouraged to legally exit the ring in order to
select a common item to use as a weapon. Examples of acceptable weapons
included long wooden tables, steel chairs, and members of the audience.
Have I heard correctly, Lady Director? It's apparent I've no choice in
the matter; if you'll not grant me a fair duel, then I will simply have
to prevail in the ring! Consider your challenge accepted, Lady Director.
Let us prepare to Rumble.
Poll Vote!
Character: Guybrush Threepwood
Series: Monkey Island
Age: 21
Canon: Monkey Island is a series of adventure games following Guybrush Threepwood on his path to mighty piratehood. In order to fulfill his dreams of swashing and/or buckling, Guybrush must plunder treasure, frequent the mysterious Monkey Island, solve lots of puzzles, and thwart and re-thwart and re-re-thwart the demon zombie ghost pirate LeChuck. It's not easy being a pirate of the Caribbean, what with all the mutinous crews, vegetarian cannibals, Australian land-developers, and blatant anachronisms, but that's not going to stop Guybrush Threepwood from his ambitions of glory and booty! Eventually, he even wins the booty of Governor Elaine Marley, as well as her hand in marriage.
Guybrush may not be the salty, grog-swilling, treasure-hoarding, totally badass pirate that he seems to think he is. In fact, 'Sarcastic', 'mischievous', and 'kind of a pansy' are probably better descriptors, but his heart is in the right place. And don't let his mild-mannered appearance fool you; he'll steal the skin right off your back.
Sample Post:
Finally, I've arrived at Seafood Island™, the second most mysterious and elusive undead-filled theme park in the Tri-Island Area! With its quaint on-site facilities and unique fauna, Seafood Island™ is the ideal spot for camping or fleeing for your life! No, you can't spell 'fun' without C-F-U... D. But hey, at least they let me in for free. Nobody'd deny admission to Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate! The thing where I pretended to be 12 was only a formality.
Now that I'm here, that Legendary World's Largest Calamari is as good as mine! Some guys would just go to the fish market on the way home, but come on, how piratey is that? I have my reputation as a lawless reprobate to think of, so I'm going to be exceptionally awesome today and bring home a kraken for dinner. Best husband ever, or best husband ever?
Besides, the voodoo lady was foreshadowing the whole 'zombie-infested heckhole' pretty heavily this morning. She even did the bit where she predicts all the horrifying things that are going to happen to me, but... come to think of it, it's kind of odd. Normally she just tells me, but today she gave me a list, like there was something she didn't want to say to my face. Maybe I should give it a look-see...
"Guybrush Threepwood, you must face undead horde." Yeah, that's different from usual. Dang it, though, of all the days to leave the Zom-B-Gon in my other pants. "In order to save your life, you must infringe upon Square-Enix's copyright." Done and done, though I don't think the spiky hair really suits my manly physique. "You will be subjected to a variety of infectious diseases." ...Uh. "Your suffering will bring joy and amusement to others, like a masochistic stand-up comedy routine."
Oh, man. This is worse than that one time at couples counseli?er, that one brawl at the Scumm bar. I guess I'd better just get it over with.
*ahem*
Ahoy there, mateys! It's good to be here! I flew all the way from Mêlée Island™, and boy, is my cannon tired!
...tough crowd.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Kururugi Suzaku
Series: Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion
Character Age: 17
Canon: The year is 2017 a.t.b., and the Holy Britannian Empire has taken over a third of the world including Japan, now known as "Area 11." Driven by injustice in his past, the Britannian youth Lelouch Lamperouge uses his intellect and the power gained from a mysterious girl to lead a rebellion against his nation under the alias of "Zero." Important themes include the ambiguity of justice, the concealment of one's true nature, and the problems that occur when very angry teenagers get a hold of very big guns.
Opposing Lelouch and his Order of the Black Knights is Lelouch's childhood friend, Kururugi Suzaku: Knightmare (giant robot) pilot extraordinaire, pseudo-Jesus, and tasty snack for cats everywhere. Although the son of the deceased Japanese Prime Minister, Suzaku has pledged his allegiance to the side of Britannia in his quest to improve the situation from the inside out. He is often friendly, gentle, and exceedingly polite in his interactions with others, and yet simultaneously committed to his job as a soldier. Loath to disobey any rules or orders, he accepts whatever mission he may be thrust into with no complaint-that is, unless he must cause unnecessary harm to others. He is given to passionate speeches on justice!1!one! and gleefully leaps into giant explosions to save civilians. His Tragic and Emo Past® has also given him a slight case of the crazies, but they will be Sirs Not Appearing in This App.
Note: to avoid some serious spoilers, Suzaku is being taken from just after episode 21.
Sample Post:
Hello? Does anyone know where I can find Foque Yuu-san? He gave me a piece of his mind earlier, and I would feel badly if I didn't return it to him after he was kind enough to point out the procedure for entry. I already completed all the requested forms and turned them in at the front desk. They were, er, very thorough! This is the first time that I've ever been asked for my species, among other things. Ah-will all of it really go on record? I know you said that you like to take precautions since the database is prone to errors, but I wonder how much of that information is really necessary...
-Oh. I'm being rude, aren't I? Thank you for allowing me to enter Area 51 as a visitor. Although, I think you may have given me the wrong identification tag. Major Major Major would be an unfortunate name, wouldn't it? My name is actually Major Kururugi Suzaku-it's an honor to meet you and your comrades in arms! Admittedly, I did not expect the same pair of arms to be shared among the group; the mainlander connotation of the phrase must be different.
I'm sorry, I should explain the situation. I'm here to investigate claims of a rising insurgency against Britannia. And as it seems, the tips don't lie. Upon entering, I received a small pamphlet containing some disturbing information. Very disturbing information. According to this, the entire population is now under the control of one woman and her policies as outlined by Rule 34. When I asked about the nature of these policies, I was advised to watch for examples or seek out the corollary to the rule. Additionally, not only is every resident equipped with their choice of shotgun, sword, or " h@xx0r mind control powers," but I have reason to believe that there may have been a security breach in the local military base. Tell me-is it true that you have the stuff that Knightmares are made of?
The evidence can't be overlooked. By the power invested in me by the Holy Britannian Empire, I'm afraid I must now pronounce you all under arrest. I urge you... accept these charges peacefully, and leave your lives as terrorists behind. You may think that you are invincible and that terrorists such as the Black Knights always triumph, but these rebellions are only causing more damage. How many names must be struck out of existence for the sake of your ideals? How many times must you interfere with the worldwide communication system before you are satisfied? No-nothing comes of it, I know it. We can't allow the empire to be divided by Zero, or any other party! Now please, give up your arms and-
... firearms. Please give up your firearms. I... didn't think there would be a misunderstanding.
Poll Vote!
Character: Mimasaka Ryou
Series: Air Gear
Age: 17
Canon: In the world of Air Gear, gangs of rollerbladers rule the streets, battling each other for particularly awesome pieces of skating technology. Young street punk Minami Ikki seeks to conquer this seedy scene, and one of his first major obstacles is Behemoth, a team famous for its huge size and powerful leadership. One of those leaders is Mimasaka Ryou, also known as the Gorgon Shield, who fights with the power of . . . exotic dancing. Her seductive movements, combined with the hypnotic patterns of the tattoos that cover her skin, allow her to freeze her opponents in their tracks.
Ryou isn't the most inhibited person in the world, obviously--physically speaking, anyway. She has supreme confidence in her beauty and its ability to put her opponents off guard, particularly when it comes to male opponents. Said confidence is tinged with more than a little bitterness towards Air Gear's male-dominated fighting scene and her humiliation at its hands early in her career. As a result, her usual demeanor is haughty and disdainful. Ryou does have a gentler side, a creamy center underneath the hard shell, but it's rarely seen; indeed, not even the man she loves (Sano Yasuyoshi, a fellow Behemoth leader) can bring it to the surface often.
Sample Post:
Oh, this is just the worst. I receive a challenge from a team calling itself the Zombies, but when I arrive in their territory, what do I find? Well, that they live up to their name, for one--but more importantly, that their "challenge" was just a pretense to get me to dance for them! How typical of men; even when their genitals have rotted off, that's all they can think with. As if that weren't bad enough, they also expect me to perform on this rickety wooden stage they built, with a pole that isn't even sanded down. And risk getting splinters in some truly uncomfortable places in the process? Sorry, but no, this will not be happening.
Now they're assailing me with catcalls--do they even have ears? Well, at second glance, several of them don't, but--I said no. Your ilk isn't worthy to behold the mind-numbing beauty of Mimasaka Ryou, the Gorgon Shield! So it doesn't matter how many times you try to cajole me into it, I will not "take it all off," especially when your idea of doing so seems to involve layers of skin. What you all have failed or refused to grasp is that my dancing is part of a fighting style, not merely for your entertainment--not that I think I'd even need to use it to take the lot of you out. Incidentally, I'll be testing that theory in a second if another one of you tries to tuck a severed finger into my G-string. That is not how you tip.
Ugh, nevermind, you all just aren't worth the time or effort. Go find some stripper zombies to pester if you're so hard up, assuming they exist. Pft, stripper zombies--what a ridiculous thought! I am going to find an opponent actually worth destroying with his own base desires . . . hmmm, like that purple-clad slab of muscle I see off in the distance. As I always say: the bigger they are, the harder they get--and the harder they get, the more satisfying it is to see them crumple from a single, well-aimed kick to the crotch. That's an odd suit he's wearing, but I doubt it'll provide him much protection, so! Hey there, big boy~ Wanna give it a go? Why don't you turn around and get a look . . . at . . .
Er, you know--never mind! I'm suddenly feeling a little underdressed.
Poll Vote!
Character: Fujisaki Suguru
Series: Gravitation
Character Age: 17
Canon: Sometimes you're behind the wheel cruising at one hundred fifty miles per hour with Spice Girls playing, and other times you're the one screaming in the back of the car with your life flashing before your eyes to Spice Up Your Life. ...Fujisaki is the latter. When Fujisaki signed on as the keyboardist for Bad Luck, he became involved in a world of giant mecha, gunfights, poor fashion sense, and, of course, music. It's a good thing he is something of a prodigy: able to create great arrangements on the fly, produce single after single, and get Shuichi to actually work. Fujisaki is an outsider within Bad Luck at first, but eventually becomes one of the gang.
Fujisaki's focused on what he wants and works hard for it. He's determined to make his own way in the world, instead of remaining in his cousin's, Tomha Seguchi, shadow. Despite that, the two are eerily similar. Fujisaki can be perfectly nice with a smile one second, and calculating and serious the next. He isn't above threatening others or ass kissing to get what his way. However, Fujisaki isn't without his moments of wide-spread panic, and is the first of the three band members to begin crying when things don't go as planned.
Shindou Shuichi and Nakano Hiroshi mentioned with permission from players.
Sample App:
I suppose it counts as creative advertising when they said the studio was right on the water with an intoxicating scent. The intoxicating scent of roadkill with a side of swamp gas...and marshmallows? The place was in a bad shape, but thankfully I've managed to make it into a satisfactory studio. The workers were more unruly than the haunted recording booth though. I guess they weren't kidding about d-dying for art. I understand Americans are eccentric, but insisting on wearing these purple gorilla suits everyday is just a little much! They are hard workers once they are given the right incentive though. I don't know what 'goofy pron' is, but that's what the internet is for. And why they feel the need to remix my songs which are already perfect is beyond me though. I can encourage hard work, but a megamix is just ridiculous!
Now, hopefully they've found some decent talent when they weren't working on my work. I don't see why they had to orchestrate a singing contest across the country with that Ryan Deadcrest, but if it's proven useful then perhaps we could continue it for another...twenty or so times. We have to get to new talent as soon we can~. Let's see...Five Cents? He was shot fifty times? What a low number... Well, he was lucky to live, but not as lucky with music. What else is there? Virgin Mary? I'm not sure N-G can endorse a performer with singles like Like a Hooker.
Ah, do I need to strip everyone's pay for the day? --I thought so. Now, get back to work I want those albums for Britney Shaves and Jenny Topaz by tomorrow! Good, good. Once I make this studio famous throughout America with a wave of hit singers, I'll take all of this talent with me and open my own record company. The day when B-L Records will open is close... Oh, what is it, Goril-- I mean, G-san? Sorry, I forgot you liked your...p-pet name. You've found them? About time! Shindou-san and Nakano-san have had a long enough vacation.
I trust you're well learned in guerrilla tactics, G-san? --Well, that certainly is an i-inventive use of a microphone and chocolate, but I want them back fit to work, remember? Good, then begin the attack and bring those two to my office! I promise extra goofy pron and those tasty traps everyone likes to whoever catches them first, and remember to bring them alive!
Well, a few bullets wouldn't hurt, I guess. ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: Yoko
Series: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
Age: 16-ish
Canon: Gurren Lagann is the exciting story of a group of men who fight for their rights to party... on the surface. In a world where the human race has been forced to live underground by crazy mecha-riding furries, there exists a group of people who have decided to make a difference. These people are also known as the Great Gurren Brigade, and with the help of the shounen retardium-powered Gunmen (animal/antropomorphic shaped mechas) they mooched off the beastmen, they will bravely pierce through the heavens in search of their freedom.
Yoko is THE fanservice of Gurren Lagann; a bikini-clad hottie with an explosive personality who carries around a rifle nearly as tall as her. At first glance, she comes off as loud, bossy, arrogant, and completely oblivious to the meaning of the word modesty (her regular outfit consisting mainly of a bikini top and a pair of short shorts). But once you get to know her better, it's easy to see that Yoko is a brave, responsible, and sometimes incredibly clumsy person, who more often than not ends up being the voice of reason in the Brigade.
Sample Post:
Okay, before we go on any further? I think we need to have a serious talk here. First of all, I have nothing against you. You're pretty cute and it was really sweet of you to give me your nuts in a box as a welcome gift! Then you helped me get out that stinkin' swamp by distracting the alligator that was trying to eat us -- I would've never guessed you were so good at tapdancing.
And you know, it's not like I'm not used to small, fuzzy animals making themselves comfortable in my chest for extended periods of time. But the moment you started stuffing my bikini with seeds and fruits? You crossed a line, little fellow. There are LIMITS to everything, and if you do pretend on remaining by my side, we're gonna have to come to an-- h-hey get back here, I'm not done yet! I. Oh, fine, be that way! GO MAKE YOUR NEST BETWEEN THAT WOMAN'S BREASTS, THEN! SEE IF I CARE WHEN YOU PERISH SQUASHED BETWEEN THEM! I bet they'll fall off the moment you touch them, just like the rest of her!
Tch, whatever! It's better if I do this on my own. I already know that shooting at the invisible barrier will only turn my bullets into sausage-shaped balloons, so I need to come up with a better plan. Speaking of which, just what kind of place is this Shifood village? It's plagued with beastmen of all kinds, but I still haven't been able to find one single human being! I thought they'd be hiding under the volcano, but all I could find there was an incredibly primitive laser-shooting Gunmen.
Well! If I can't use one I'll just have to use another, and I'm pretty sure there was one lurking in the lake; maybe this one will be powerful enough to blast through the barrier. All I have to do is catch its attention, right? A couple of shots to the water, and some rotting limbs should do the trick. Oh, and let's throw in some underwear from that tree just to be on the safe side, you never know with beastmen.
Heee~re, Gunmen Gunmen~ ♥ just let this cute Yoko-sama get inside of you and take control of your bod--WOAHHH! HEY! I said let ME get inside of YOU, not the other way around!
Poll Vote!
Character: Mukuro Rokudou
Series: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Character Age: Junior High School aged, 14-15ish?
Canon: Katekyo Hitman Reborn! is a comedy-action-what-the-hell-that-baby-has-a-bazooka story about a kid training to be a mafia boss. Along the way Tsuna (potential mafia boss and current moderately ungifted teen) encounters the typical enemies-turned-allies, enemies who want to just use him for his body and whacky hijinks that can only come from a Japanese comic book.
Mukuro Rokudou falls into the second category, mostly. His appearance in the Reborn! manga is heralded by a rash of assaults on school kids and the taking of their teeth. Worse than the tooth fairy, he's a guy who was exiled from the mafia. Mukuro is usually collected, behaves as though he is unapologetically better than you and maintains an illusion of polite ego. Mukuro is one of the masters of badtouch and raepination as one of his abilities is to possess other people's bodies and another is to create illusions. He loathes the mafia and can come off as a bit heartless. Despite this he also seems to deeply care for his subordinates.
Sample Post:
Welcome to Camp Fuck You Die! A pleasurable and pleasant experience for all involved! We've included a few pamphlets for your enjoyment to heighten your Camp experience! Please, enjoy your stay!*
*Residency restrictions may apply. Must be 21 or younger to enter at this time. If you are pregnant, have liver failure or are missing some organs please check into hospital at once and don't sue our asses. Not enjoying your time here is entirely not our fault, suck it up.
What a warm and inviting welcome, and a starter kit, how fun. My, you're a very thoughtful Director, going to all this trouble to make me feel welcome. It's even got my name on it and everything. Cute. It's quite the unusual grab-bag, a shotgun, laptop and … support group pamphlets? As I said, you're very thoughtful~.
Oh, that was rather careless of me. I've already run out of shells for my shotgun and made a bit of a mess. For all your consideration you seem to have hired incompetent and rude help - rather fitting of their background, I suppose. I'm sure your birds really just meant well, but you know what they say about voices in your head! Far better to eliminate all the noisy stupid ones, especially if they're not yours. Well, maybe they don't say that, but I certainly don't have any patience for tropical birds pretending they can speak Italian. I do however have patience for dead would-be feathered mafia carcasses. Funny how that works.
Mmm, well, that shotgun's usefulness was brief, wasn't it? Let's see if anything else can be of use. "From Enemies to Allies, a Guide on Sorting Through Your Badtouch Experiences or Expertise" does sound informative, but not for me. I'm sure there are many others who would benefit from it, however. They all seem to have a theme, it's as though you're trying to tell me something… but unfortunately I've never been very good at listening to authority.
Also, this laptop must be someone else's and is quite unusable. It says I've been banned from livejournal for a set of interests I never typed in. I certainly wouldn't fill my bio full of things like: tooth removal, rape, moar rape, mostest rape, tooth fetish and killing those mafia bastards.
…Well, one of those things is not quite like the other and far more acceptable than the rest.
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Lu Xun (Boyan)
Series: Dynasty Warriors
Character Age: 17
Canon: Dynasty Warriors is a video game series based on a
novel based on real Ancient Chinese History™. Obviously, it's not the
most historically accurate representation of the time period out there,
but it sure is a hell of a lot of fun, with memorable characters (Even
if their names are a bit on the tricky side), epic "one man versus a
couple of armies" battles, catchy rock music, and cheesy dialogue!
A scholar by nature, Lu Xun was appointed to the rank of Grand
Commander, second in authority only to the Emperor of his kingdom,
despite his inexperience. Despite heavy opposition and the lack of
confidence from his own men, he immediately managed to deliver a
crushing defeat to an invading neighboring kingdom. This would secure
his position as a highly respected strategist and leader who would
eventually hold the rank of Prime Minister.
The game describes him in three words: "Polite and energetic." This is
true, especially when he's among allies, but it barely describes the
determined young man you often face if you happen to be playing one of
the opposing forces; one who will not hesitate to burn your camp to the
ground in the name of victory.
Sample Entry:
Lady Director, I am writing to inform you that I have met with your
undead envoy. He long elaborated on the terms of the duel to which I
have challenged you for the purpose of the release of myself and my
fellow comrades from this mockery of a camp, and I must say, I am most
displeased with the terms presented. However, I do admit I could simply
have misunderstood. Please allow me to repeat the terms for clarity's sake.
You, I have been informed, will not directly be participating. Instead,
you will be sending twenty-eight undead warriors of the highest caliber
and one gorilla to do battle with me in an elevated square platform
ringed by three elastic ropes. I (then and henceforth referred to by the
envoy as "The Ultimate Burninator") would begin the duel, unarmed, in
this ring and do battle with each combatant as they arrived at
ninety-second intervals. Elimination of combatants would occur when any
part of the body still attached to the torso touched the ground outside
of the ring after passing over the top rope. This was said to be a form
of duel known as the "Royal Rumble."
The envoy then went on to describe the actions I would be expected to
take in the Rumble, as well as further explanations of the rules. For
instance, in case of total dismemberment, a recognizable majority of the
combatant's remains must be pitched over the top rope in order for the
elimination to be official. All combatants (myself included), were not
only permitted, but encouraged to legally exit the ring in order to
select a common item to use as a weapon. Examples of acceptable weapons
included long wooden tables, steel chairs, and members of the audience.
Have I heard correctly, Lady Director? It's apparent I've no choice in
the matter; if you'll not grant me a fair duel, then I will simply have
to prevail in the ring! Consider your challenge accepted, Lady Director.
Let us prepare to Rumble.
Poll Vote!
Character: Guybrush Threepwood
Series: Monkey Island
Age: 21
Canon: Monkey Island is a series of adventure games following Guybrush Threepwood on his path to mighty piratehood. In order to fulfill his dreams of swashing and/or buckling, Guybrush must plunder treasure, frequent the mysterious Monkey Island, solve lots of puzzles, and thwart and re-thwart and re-re-thwart the demon zombie ghost pirate LeChuck. It's not easy being a pirate of the Caribbean, what with all the mutinous crews, vegetarian cannibals, Australian land-developers, and blatant anachronisms, but that's not going to stop Guybrush Threepwood from his ambitions of glory and booty! Eventually, he even wins the booty of Governor Elaine Marley, as well as her hand in marriage.
Guybrush may not be the salty, grog-swilling, treasure-hoarding, totally badass pirate that he seems to think he is. In fact, 'Sarcastic', 'mischievous', and 'kind of a pansy' are probably better descriptors, but his heart is in the right place. And don't let his mild-mannered appearance fool you; he'll steal the skin right off your back.
Sample Post:
Finally, I've arrived at Seafood Island™, the second most mysterious and elusive undead-filled theme park in the Tri-Island Area! With its quaint on-site facilities and unique fauna, Seafood Island™ is the ideal spot for camping or fleeing for your life! No, you can't spell 'fun' without C-F-U... D. But hey, at least they let me in for free. Nobody'd deny admission to Guybrush Threepwood, mighty pirate! The thing where I pretended to be 12 was only a formality.
Now that I'm here, that Legendary World's Largest Calamari is as good as mine! Some guys would just go to the fish market on the way home, but come on, how piratey is that? I have my reputation as a lawless reprobate to think of, so I'm going to be exceptionally awesome today and bring home a kraken for dinner. Best husband ever, or best husband ever?
Besides, the voodoo lady was foreshadowing the whole 'zombie-infested heckhole' pretty heavily this morning. She even did the bit where she predicts all the horrifying things that are going to happen to me, but... come to think of it, it's kind of odd. Normally she just tells me, but today she gave me a list, like there was something she didn't want to say to my face. Maybe I should give it a look-see...
"Guybrush Threepwood, you must face undead horde." Yeah, that's different from usual. Dang it, though, of all the days to leave the Zom-B-Gon in my other pants. "In order to save your life, you must infringe upon Square-Enix's copyright." Done and done, though I don't think the spiky hair really suits my manly physique. "You will be subjected to a variety of infectious diseases." ...Uh. "Your suffering will bring joy and amusement to others, like a masochistic stand-up comedy routine."
Oh, man. This is worse than that one time at couples counseli?er, that one brawl at the Scumm bar. I guess I'd better just get it over with.
*ahem*
Ahoy there, mateys! It's good to be here! I flew all the way from Mêlée Island™, and boy, is my cannon tired!
...tough crowd.
Poll Vote!