(no subject)
Next round! The previous round is still open, so please check it out. Whup closed :|b
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed! SUPER FAST VOTINGS
Character: Samantha
Series: Medabots
Character Age: 12
Medabots (sometimes known as Medarots) is an anime where kids use robot partners to beat each other up! Forget those Tickle Me Elmos, machine-gun toting minidroids are IN.
Samantha is the leader of a local junior high gang known as the "Screws", using her loyal cat-like robot (Peppercat) to help lead her gang to victory. . .ignoring the fact that her 'gang' nearly always lose to the main character and members consist of two wimpy, simple minded boys. Manipulative and strong-willed, Samantha likes to make it known that -she- is the one in charge and you better give her the respect she deserves! She has no problem resorting to physical violence on either friends or enemies and often pops up to take credit for things she's had no hand in whatsoever.
But beneath her cocky tomboy exterior she's actually a softy with a love for feminine stereotypes and repeatedly ends up harboring one-sided (and violent!) crushes. She also tends to opt for the "RUN AWAY!!" option when faced with something too big for her plate, but when push comes to shove she's a loyal and dependable friend to have by your side.
Sample Post:
Right so, whoever put that sign up by the entrance? The one that said "Tonight only! Swan Lake recital by lakeside! Free Tutus for every guest!"? You are fired. Out of the gang! Didn't know you were in the gang in the first place? Well then that's a double offense! Bein' a Screw doesn't mean you can have a few screws lose in your head! Last time I checked, Swan Lake didn't feature two stinky and hairy purple guys skippin' rope with a tentacle and doin' who knows what. Probably somethin' I'm not legal enough to see! Not to mention I wanted that tutu!
False advertisin' aside, this place ain't all bad. No school, half witted adults, yucky cafeteria food, cowbots. . .hell, I feel at home already! I've been thinkin' of expandin' my territory for a while now, and here seems as good a place as any. I'll call the new branch The Screws Gang: Camp Edition! I like the sound of that. 'Course, I'll be needing a few new recruits first.
Heeeh, looks like I see a couple of lovely volunteers already! YO, are you guys just gonna stand there lookin' braindead or are ya gonna hear a lady out? I know, I know, your lives lack direction! You're miserable! You feel worthless without a good boss to tell ya what to do, am I right? Well look no further, the great Samantha is finally here for you to serve! Lemme see ya throw your hands in the air and give a cheer!
...oh man, GROSS. I didn't mean literally, but that's the kinda loyalty I expect! When I need ya to throw your bodies in danger for my sake, trust me, I'll let ya know. In the meantime, this fearless leader is callin' it a day. I expect to be livin' up this joint in style, so I call dibs on the white van! Though I'm thinkin' it's in serious need of a paintjob.
Hey, meatheads! Get me some lavender acrylics and a kitty decal. And make it SNAPPY!
Poll Vote!
Character: Sanada Akihiko
Series: Persona 3
Character Age: 17
Canon: In Persona 3, the latest installment in Atlus's mindfuck of an RPG series, grotesque monsters known as Shadows appear during a hidden patch of time known as the Dark Hour and feed on humanity at large. The only ones who can stand and fight against them are a special (as always!) group of high-schoolers who have the ability to draw out impressive powers when they shoot themselves in the face.
Sanada Akihiko is an upperclassman in SEES, the group assembled to fight against the Shadows. A skilled fighter, he comes across as being relatively calm and casual both in speaking and mannerisms -- particularly when discussing training and missions. His brain goes a little something like this: "fight tactics Shadow fight school fight :D fight!" Akihiko's main drive for fighting is to train and become stronger, to the point where he's almost obsessive about it. Confident and stubborn, he won't hesitate to lift his Evoker (which appears to be a gun) to his head and pull the trigger to summon his Persona if it's to fight. As the game progresses, he mellows out somewhat, but his goal remains constant: do whatever he can to protect those in need.
Sadly, his determination and savvy don't apply to social situations. The boy can't even remember the names of his own fangirl followers, let alone understand the concept of "being hit on." And none of the above can save him from the wrath of one of his female teammates, the thought of which is one of the few things that completely terrifies to no end. Sanada Akihiko: pussy-whipped? It's more likely than you think.
Sample Post:
-- Well. From the looks of things, I'd say you guys've got a real infestation here. Heh! Zombies, huh? Can't say they're the kind of monsters I usually deal with; similar in theory, yeah, but the execution doesn't leave much to compare. It's difficult to take these guys seriously when they take your words literally -- oh geez, again? "Execution" as in performance, folks, not losing your heads; you can keep those on your shoulders. Or ... fine, don't, since it's not like you're using it, anyway. ... so, yeah, as I was saying. If morons like that are all you've been going against up until now? You're missing out.
See, I've been told that it was some kind of training camp, but ... I'm starting to wonder exactly what it is they're trying to train you guys in, given how disorganized this dump is. All the proof that I need of your instructors' negligence can be found in the cries of "I need an adult!" that I hear from the lake. And don't get me started on that pack of gorillas over there. I was hoping your wildlife would be more of a challenge, but all they've managed to do so far is dish out empty threats. Who do they think they're going to intimidate with lines like "Hey baby, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers," anyway? Tch. They're not even European.
Still, it's better than nothing. The least I can do at this point is give the lot of you a tip or two about fighting, since I doubt you'll get much else in the way of training from this place. First of all, you've gotta be prepared. They give everyone a shotgun on arrival, don't they? Put it to use if you don't have anything else. Just about anything'll work if you're resourceful, though. I've seen some deadly objects in my days. Take it from me, guys: never, ever set off a woman when she's got a lead pipe. Especially when you get confused about a thing or two and she won't buy that it was an accident and-- ... Anyway. As for me, my Evoker here'll work just fine -- it's not exactly a gun, but don't worry about that.
Once you're prepared and have managed to engage the enemy, you've gotta be smart about attacking them. If you've got the time, analyze them for what they're weak against, but that's not always gonna be useful. You know those gorillas I was talking about? I don't really see how mace and pepper spray are really going to help, here. All either of those'll do is provoke them into attacking, sort of like ... how they are right now. Tch. Fine. It's about time I put my Persona to use--
-- hey wait, hold up, this is-- oh come on. Just because a guy points a gun at his head doesn't mean you should put them on "suicide watch"! Look, it's not what you think it is!!
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Lambo
Character Age: 5/15
Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Canon: Reborn is the touching story of a boy named Sawada Tsunayoshi and his one-year-old assassin-slash-in-home-tutor Reborn, sent from Italy to teach Tsuna how to become the tenth boss of the Vongola famiglia. The only problem is, Tsuna wants nothing to do with the mafia. But despite his cries of "DO NOT WANT", Tsuna manages to gather people together to form his own family, who together fend off assassins, ex-mafia members, and anything else the mafia world - and Reborn - decides to throw at them.
Sent by the boss of the Bovino Famiglia, Lambo the assassin has arrived in Japan to kill Reborn. Except it'd probably go a lot smoother if Reborn gave Lambo the time of day, or if Lambo could stop crying long enough to actually attack. Lambo likes to refer to himself as "Lambo-san", and tends to use the word "tolerate" a lot, usually after he's received a smackdown via Reborn or someone else. With the focus of a goldfish with ADD, Lambo is loud, random, enthusiastic, and usually a handful for those with the unfortunate job of babysitting him - just like your basic five year old. That is, when he isn't tossing grenades around.
But don't underestimate him just yet! Lambo possesses the Ten Year Bazooka, a weapon capable of switching anyone who's hit by it with their Ten-Years-Into-The-Future self for five minutes. While he may end up shooting himself more often than anyone else, it seems to work out for the better, as Adult Lambo is sexy, cool, collected, and can even summon electricity to attack. . . . that is, until you make him cry. That's right, ten years from now, Lambo hasn't changed at all, and most of the time ends up in even more trouble than his younger self could ever manage.
Sample Post:
GYAHAHAHA! LAMBO-SAN, WHO IS FIVE YEARS OLD AND LIKES HARD CANDY AND GRAPES, HAS FINALLY ARRIVED IN CAMP! DIE, REBORN!!
Gah, you're not Reborn! Don't try to confuse Lambo-san when he's on an IMPORTANT MISSION OF IMPORTANCE! It's something he can't be distracted from, or else -- Oooh, what's that? Lambo-san hasn't seen one of those before! And look at all those arms! Oh, oh, it must be a lake monster! Uwah, look at how they flail~ Lambo-san can do that! See, see? Lambo-san now has eight arms and is INDESTRUCTIBLE!
Oh, it touched me! Are we playing that game? Lambo-san loves the "I'm not touching you" game! Look, look, it's Lambo-san's turn -- I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU, I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU, I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU, I'M NOT -- oh I touched you, no touch backs! Hehehe, Lambo-san wins! Uh oh . . . the flaily flailing thing is flailing even faster! Uwah, Lambo-san doesn't think he can go that fast. Oh, we're still playing? Okay, see if you can touch Lambo-san!
-- owie! I-I think you touched Lambo-san too hard. Wait, no, that doesn't mean do it againasdjklhf. T... Tolerate... Waaaah, you're a cheater, flaily flailing thing! L-Lambo-san hates cheaters! He hates cheaters so much he blows them up! YOU BETTER RUN LAKE MONSTER! READY, AIIIIM --
...
Goodness . . . where am I? It seems my younger self has gotten into some trouble again-- a-ah. I remember you, you're the tenacle monster from ten years ago. Still playing that game, I see. Though I don't remember you touching me there. I guess I can stick around to play a little bit, especially after what you did to me. I'm completely different now than I was before; but of course, that should be obvious, shouldn't it?
. . . You don't believe me, do you? I see. Then I'll just have to show you! Prepare yourself, lake monster! Electric Cornatta!
--aksjdhfa t-tolerate... S-Such a dirty trick, luring me into the water and m-making me electrocute myself! Even a-after all these years, you haven't changed at all!
YOU'RE STILL A C-CHEATER s-sob!
Poll Vote!
Character: Squall Leonhart
Series: Final Fantasy VIII
Character Age: 17
Canon: Final Fantasy VIII, or "Adventures In Punching The Timestream", is the epic tale of a ragtag group of SeeDs- teenaged mercenaries trained at a school called Balamb Garden- who get sent out for a routine mission and end up, through a series of wacky misadventures, traveling into the future to save the world from an evil sorceress.
Squall, mostly against his will, is the leader of the group. A man of few words and many ellipses, Squall comes across at first as a cold, antisocial loner with very little regard for the feelings of others. In truth, he does care very deep down, but he has a hard time expressing his emotions and would rather just stay quiet. He's a no-nonsense type when he's on a mission, getting things done without questioning why, and prioritizing orders above things like personal ties... most of the time.
(Notes for the app! 1) Final Fantasy VIII is very fond of using [coloured] [font] to emphasize points, and marking [locations] with blue text and brackets.
2) Squall likes to (internally monologue) sometimes! This is represented as (text in parenthesis.)
3) FF8's main battle system is based around 'junctioning'- assigning magic to certain attributes to strengthen them.)
Sample Post:
...This mission... is sort of ridiculous. "Reduce the amount punctuation by at least 40%, by way of eliminating the number of horrified ellipses used by the inhabitants of camp. Use any means necessary to accomplish this goal." ......I guess there could be worse missions than punctuation control.
(...There's another piece of paper here... "If you're going into the [swamp], you'd better junction magic to [rape-def-J]! ♥"? ...Whatever.)
I'd better review the contract... The sooner I finish up, the sooner I can leave. "Garden, hereafter referred to as Party A, dispatches SeeD, hereafter referred to as Party B, to [Camp Fuck You Die]. By this action, Party A would like to verify that this is the story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down, and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-air--"
...This can't be the right contract. I hope it's not the right contract. Either way, it's not helpful. So I guess I have to use my own judgment to figure out what to do in this situation... First of all, punctuation is definitely the least of anyone's worries, here. I can deal with the monsters easily enough, but when it comes to things like the puddles of multicoloured, ominously glowing ooze, I don't really know what to do about that. Some of them are even trying to get up and walk away.
(...I think that patch of swamp just winked at me.)
So. I'm here to... reduce punctuation, apparently. I can start by thinning down the monsters, but things like... that singing crab? And his whole... fuzzy forest creature orchestra? Unless you want those exterminated, I can't help you. Sorry. So try not to be too horrified by them. They're not any worse at carrying a tune than some people I've met, after all.
And you might want to do something about the sign. "Camp Fuck You Die: ABANDUN ALL HOPE YEE WHO ENTAR HEAR" isn't... I'm not sure what message you're trying to convey, but I think that it would be much more effective spelled correctly.
Poll Vote!
Character: Elgala
Series: Excel Saga
Character Age: Unspecified. (Appears teenager-ish)
Canon: Elgala makes up the third wheel of the human tricycle of DOOM that is ACROSS, a super secret organization dedicated to ridding the world of corruption. Led by their leader, the idealistic Il Palazzo, they will stop at nothing to conquer the city, country, and eventually, the world! ...Assuming their own incompetence doesn't kill them first.
Elgala first is introduced after the other girls have failed enough on their own enough times to require back up. She's haughty, spoiled, and a little bit vicious. Not having Excel's energy or Hyatt's deathly stoicism, she makes up for it in cunning and with her natural 'ladylike' advantages. Her hobbies include bathing, kidnapping, drinking to excess, and using the phrase 'I, Elgala' to refer to herself. She also has a terrible genetic condition that requires her to voice all of her innermost thoughts and opinions vocally without realizing it. (A trait expressed here in all italicized font.)
Sample Post:
Haaaa~il, Il Palazzo!!
I, Elgala, am pleased to report that my intervention has led to the success of yet *another* mission! - Perhaps the first ever! - Though the trials and tribulations were many, I, Elgala, persevered in the face of adversity and came out on top! - ...Did I, Elgala, just commit a Freudian slip?
It began when I, Elgala, and my other two lovely - but useless - Senior Agents were attempting to infiltrate the enemy base, which was disguised as a humble summer camp! Though we were all a bit reluctant to press on, and suffered being completely exposed due to lack of supplies, our noble hearts with the spirit of conquering in mind carried us through to the heart of the enemy base! - We got completely lost! No shelter, no food, no *mosquito repellant*! I thought I was going to die!
It was at this time, ten minutes into the hike, that Senior Hyatt's legs gave out and she collapsed in a pool of blood. This was completely expected, and certainly nothing unusual, so we left her and continued on. - Poor Senior Hyatt! Left to simmer in her own juices! - It was a few more steps down the dirt trail - my heels were killing me, - that the same fate befell Senior Excel! For some unknown reason, she collapsed into a pool of flesh, blood and bones! It was at this moment that the truth of the matter became commonly clear!
Senior Excel had, through Senior Hyatt as a vector, come down with a horribly fatal case, of *Senioritis!*
I, Elgala, had no choice but to exterminate! Having thoroughly disposed of the bodies - with *fire*, - I, Elgala, believe I have kept the horrible Senioritis from spreading and contaminating the ranks of ACROSS any further! I, Elgala, expect no praise or reward. - Other than of course the inevitable promotion having not one, but *two* senior members killed must bring!
Il-- Il Palazzo-sama?! Don't fall victim to the Senioritis! OHMYGOD! His arms have been crushed by his own glorious shoulder-pads! I must save him... for the sake of ACROSS!! - For the sake of meeeee!!
I... I did it. Somehow, I now hold it, in my own hands! - Gross! It's still warm and pulsating!
Look out, all enemies of ACROSS! Elgala, with the help of Il Palazzo-sama's incorruptible ideals, are here to conquer the camp! Defeat we shall not know, for I, Elgala, have SAVED IL PALAZZO-SAMA'S BRAIN!
Now all this Elgala needs is the cooperation of a good surgeon, a hamster, and an electric cattle prod. - This Elgala is *too* smart!
Poll Vote!
Character: Drusilla
Series: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Character Age: 138, but physically a young woman just entering her maturity (so about 20)
canon: Broadly speaking, the story of Buffy The Vampire Slayer is quite simple. Buffy is the Slayer. Vampires are slayed. Or slain, depending on your personal favorite conjugation.
Back in 1860, Drusilla was a beautiful, innocent, puritanical girl whose unfortunate ability to see snatches of the future brought her to the attention of Angelus, who was, at the time, the single most vicious vampire in all of Europe. Playing a cruel game of cat and mouse, he eventually drove her to madness on the night before she was to take holy orders. Only then did he turn her into a vampire, making her torment eternal.
As a vamp, Dru has actually adjusted quite well to insanity. Although she doesn't always seem capable of making sense of her surroundings, the mental projections of others, or the visions she still regularly has, she's well past caring. Her mannerisms are those of a 19th century child… assuming that any child could be by turns morbidly romantic, enthusiastically bloodthirsty, and viciously coquettish. She's devoted, in her way, to her vampiric family, her china dolls (of whom Miss Edith is arguably her favorite), and the occasional chance to destroy the world for good this time, if not for those meddling kids.
Sample Post:
Children? I'm clapping my hands. I'm clapping, clapping... do you know what that means? It means my arms go in and out and somehow they make this funny smacking sound. Like spankings.
... no, wait. It means I wanted to tell you something. Everybody find your places in the circle... it's story time. We'll go from tallest to smallest and oldest to youngest. Oh but Miss Edith, you'll be sitting next to me where I can keep an eye on you. For those of you who do not know, Miss Edith got blood on her skirt, so she has to be punished again.
It wasn't a red skirt, you see.
And you, you nasty wicked dead thing. I like you very much, but you better put those back in your head. I only want my eyes on her. Yours are all leaky, like the rest of your face.... didn't your mother tell you it would freeze that way? Maybe you haven't got one. A mother, I mean. Maybe you rose up out of the earth... already rotting. Like trees. Nobody hears them fall.
Falling apart is very helpful though. I can tell how old you are by how many the layers of skin you've lost. It means if you sit with us you can go into the right place. I'll put you in order. Order is very important.
But what shall I read to you today? Anyone? Wait, I know! This is a really good one. A little bird told it to me. A big little bird, with a nice black coat and a stripy nose. What's a bird doing with all those brains? He had an awful lot of thoughts before he hit the glass wall that's in my head. It's like the sliding doors in shopping malls, only all the stores are closed and the birdy couldn't get back out. Flap flap flap flap Spat. It was very messy... But I think I liked the story.
Once upon a time there was a bride and groom. Only they weren't, not yet. But they could see the future and it had big white cakes like dresses and dresses like big white cakes. His name was Stephan, and I don't think she has a name round here anymore. She used to, but they don't call her that now. He gave her nicknames. And secretly I think she must have liked it very much. They did it all right... except for one thing. She wasn't the one who killed him, and it's so much better if you do it yourself. I did. I killed my perfect man and kept all his pretty thoughts with me in my head until they went sour like old milk in lemon tea...
Why, what do you mean you've all heard this one before? You haven't, you're new to this circle. Lying is a wicked sin, and now I have to hate you! I'm glad, you're ugly and you smell like dirt and I can't teach you better. Bad zombie. Bad daughters. Bad dolls!
... oh. You don't think they meant my part of the story, Miss Edith?
Dear me. And I've already dirtied my dress.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed! SUPER FAST VOTINGS
Character: Samantha
Series: Medabots
Character Age: 12
Medabots (sometimes known as Medarots) is an anime where kids use robot partners to beat each other up! Forget those Tickle Me Elmos, machine-gun toting minidroids are IN.
Samantha is the leader of a local junior high gang known as the "Screws", using her loyal cat-like robot (Peppercat) to help lead her gang to victory. . .ignoring the fact that her 'gang' nearly always lose to the main character and members consist of two wimpy, simple minded boys. Manipulative and strong-willed, Samantha likes to make it known that -she- is the one in charge and you better give her the respect she deserves! She has no problem resorting to physical violence on either friends or enemies and often pops up to take credit for things she's had no hand in whatsoever.
But beneath her cocky tomboy exterior she's actually a softy with a love for feminine stereotypes and repeatedly ends up harboring one-sided (and violent!) crushes. She also tends to opt for the "RUN AWAY!!" option when faced with something too big for her plate, but when push comes to shove she's a loyal and dependable friend to have by your side.
Sample Post:
Right so, whoever put that sign up by the entrance? The one that said "Tonight only! Swan Lake recital by lakeside! Free Tutus for every guest!"? You are fired. Out of the gang! Didn't know you were in the gang in the first place? Well then that's a double offense! Bein' a Screw doesn't mean you can have a few screws lose in your head! Last time I checked, Swan Lake didn't feature two stinky and hairy purple guys skippin' rope with a tentacle and doin' who knows what. Probably somethin' I'm not legal enough to see! Not to mention I wanted that tutu!
False advertisin' aside, this place ain't all bad. No school, half witted adults, yucky cafeteria food, cowbots. . .hell, I feel at home already! I've been thinkin' of expandin' my territory for a while now, and here seems as good a place as any. I'll call the new branch The Screws Gang: Camp Edition! I like the sound of that. 'Course, I'll be needing a few new recruits first.
Heeeh, looks like I see a couple of lovely volunteers already! YO, are you guys just gonna stand there lookin' braindead or are ya gonna hear a lady out? I know, I know, your lives lack direction! You're miserable! You feel worthless without a good boss to tell ya what to do, am I right? Well look no further, the great Samantha is finally here for you to serve! Lemme see ya throw your hands in the air and give a cheer!
...oh man, GROSS. I didn't mean literally, but that's the kinda loyalty I expect! When I need ya to throw your bodies in danger for my sake, trust me, I'll let ya know. In the meantime, this fearless leader is callin' it a day. I expect to be livin' up this joint in style, so I call dibs on the white van! Though I'm thinkin' it's in serious need of a paintjob.
Hey, meatheads! Get me some lavender acrylics and a kitty decal. And make it SNAPPY!
Poll Vote!
Character: Sanada Akihiko
Series: Persona 3
Character Age: 17
Canon: In Persona 3, the latest installment in Atlus's mindfuck of an RPG series, grotesque monsters known as Shadows appear during a hidden patch of time known as the Dark Hour and feed on humanity at large. The only ones who can stand and fight against them are a special (as always!) group of high-schoolers who have the ability to draw out impressive powers when they shoot themselves in the face.
Sanada Akihiko is an upperclassman in SEES, the group assembled to fight against the Shadows. A skilled fighter, he comes across as being relatively calm and casual both in speaking and mannerisms -- particularly when discussing training and missions. His brain goes a little something like this: "fight tactics Shadow fight school fight :D fight!" Akihiko's main drive for fighting is to train and become stronger, to the point where he's almost obsessive about it. Confident and stubborn, he won't hesitate to lift his Evoker (which appears to be a gun) to his head and pull the trigger to summon his Persona if it's to fight. As the game progresses, he mellows out somewhat, but his goal remains constant: do whatever he can to protect those in need.
Sadly, his determination and savvy don't apply to social situations. The boy can't even remember the names of his own fangirl followers, let alone understand the concept of "being hit on." And none of the above can save him from the wrath of one of his female teammates, the thought of which is one of the few things that completely terrifies to no end. Sanada Akihiko: pussy-whipped? It's more likely than you think.
Sample Post:
-- Well. From the looks of things, I'd say you guys've got a real infestation here. Heh! Zombies, huh? Can't say they're the kind of monsters I usually deal with; similar in theory, yeah, but the execution doesn't leave much to compare. It's difficult to take these guys seriously when they take your words literally -- oh geez, again? "Execution" as in performance, folks, not losing your heads; you can keep those on your shoulders. Or ... fine, don't, since it's not like you're using it, anyway. ... so, yeah, as I was saying. If morons like that are all you've been going against up until now? You're missing out.
See, I've been told that it was some kind of training camp, but ... I'm starting to wonder exactly what it is they're trying to train you guys in, given how disorganized this dump is. All the proof that I need of your instructors' negligence can be found in the cries of "I need an adult!" that I hear from the lake. And don't get me started on that pack of gorillas over there. I was hoping your wildlife would be more of a challenge, but all they've managed to do so far is dish out empty threats. Who do they think they're going to intimidate with lines like "Hey baby, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers," anyway? Tch. They're not even European.
Still, it's better than nothing. The least I can do at this point is give the lot of you a tip or two about fighting, since I doubt you'll get much else in the way of training from this place. First of all, you've gotta be prepared. They give everyone a shotgun on arrival, don't they? Put it to use if you don't have anything else. Just about anything'll work if you're resourceful, though. I've seen some deadly objects in my days. Take it from me, guys: never, ever set off a woman when she's got a lead pipe. Especially when you get confused about a thing or two and she won't buy that it was an accident and-- ... Anyway. As for me, my Evoker here'll work just fine -- it's not exactly a gun, but don't worry about that.
Once you're prepared and have managed to engage the enemy, you've gotta be smart about attacking them. If you've got the time, analyze them for what they're weak against, but that's not always gonna be useful. You know those gorillas I was talking about? I don't really see how mace and pepper spray are really going to help, here. All either of those'll do is provoke them into attacking, sort of like ... how they are right now. Tch. Fine. It's about time I put my Persona to use--
-- hey wait, hold up, this is-- oh come on. Just because a guy points a gun at his head doesn't mean you should put them on "suicide watch"! Look, it's not what you think it is!!
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Lambo
Character Age: 5/15
Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Canon: Reborn is the touching story of a boy named Sawada Tsunayoshi and his one-year-old assassin-slash-in-home-tutor Reborn, sent from Italy to teach Tsuna how to become the tenth boss of the Vongola famiglia. The only problem is, Tsuna wants nothing to do with the mafia. But despite his cries of "DO NOT WANT", Tsuna manages to gather people together to form his own family, who together fend off assassins, ex-mafia members, and anything else the mafia world - and Reborn - decides to throw at them.
Sent by the boss of the Bovino Famiglia, Lambo the assassin has arrived in Japan to kill Reborn. Except it'd probably go a lot smoother if Reborn gave Lambo the time of day, or if Lambo could stop crying long enough to actually attack. Lambo likes to refer to himself as "Lambo-san", and tends to use the word "tolerate" a lot, usually after he's received a smackdown via Reborn or someone else. With the focus of a goldfish with ADD, Lambo is loud, random, enthusiastic, and usually a handful for those with the unfortunate job of babysitting him - just like your basic five year old. That is, when he isn't tossing grenades around.
But don't underestimate him just yet! Lambo possesses the Ten Year Bazooka, a weapon capable of switching anyone who's hit by it with their Ten-Years-Into-The-Future self for five minutes. While he may end up shooting himself more often than anyone else, it seems to work out for the better, as Adult Lambo is sexy, cool, collected, and can even summon electricity to attack. . . . that is, until you make him cry. That's right, ten years from now, Lambo hasn't changed at all, and most of the time ends up in even more trouble than his younger self could ever manage.
Sample Post:
GYAHAHAHA! LAMBO-SAN, WHO IS FIVE YEARS OLD AND LIKES HARD CANDY AND GRAPES, HAS FINALLY ARRIVED IN CAMP! DIE, REBORN!!
Gah, you're not Reborn! Don't try to confuse Lambo-san when he's on an IMPORTANT MISSION OF IMPORTANCE! It's something he can't be distracted from, or else -- Oooh, what's that? Lambo-san hasn't seen one of those before! And look at all those arms! Oh, oh, it must be a lake monster! Uwah, look at how they flail~ Lambo-san can do that! See, see? Lambo-san now has eight arms and is INDESTRUCTIBLE!
Oh, it touched me! Are we playing that game? Lambo-san loves the "I'm not touching you" game! Look, look, it's Lambo-san's turn -- I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU, I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU, I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU, I'M NOT -- oh I touched you, no touch backs! Hehehe, Lambo-san wins! Uh oh . . . the flaily flailing thing is flailing even faster! Uwah, Lambo-san doesn't think he can go that fast. Oh, we're still playing? Okay, see if you can touch Lambo-san!
-- owie! I-I think you touched Lambo-san too hard. Wait, no, that doesn't mean do it againasdjklhf. T... Tolerate... Waaaah, you're a cheater, flaily flailing thing! L-Lambo-san hates cheaters! He hates cheaters so much he blows them up! YOU BETTER RUN LAKE MONSTER! READY, AIIIIM --
...
Goodness . . . where am I? It seems my younger self has gotten into some trouble again-- a-ah. I remember you, you're the tenacle monster from ten years ago. Still playing that game, I see. Though I don't remember you touching me there. I guess I can stick around to play a little bit, especially after what you did to me. I'm completely different now than I was before; but of course, that should be obvious, shouldn't it?
. . . You don't believe me, do you? I see. Then I'll just have to show you! Prepare yourself, lake monster! Electric Cornatta!
--aksjdhfa t-tolerate... S-Such a dirty trick, luring me into the water and m-making me electrocute myself! Even a-after all these years, you haven't changed at all!
YOU'RE STILL A C-CHEATER s-sob!
Poll Vote!
Character: Squall Leonhart
Series: Final Fantasy VIII
Character Age: 17
Canon: Final Fantasy VIII, or "Adventures In Punching The Timestream", is the epic tale of a ragtag group of SeeDs- teenaged mercenaries trained at a school called Balamb Garden- who get sent out for a routine mission and end up, through a series of wacky misadventures, traveling into the future to save the world from an evil sorceress.
Squall, mostly against his will, is the leader of the group. A man of few words and many ellipses, Squall comes across at first as a cold, antisocial loner with very little regard for the feelings of others. In truth, he does care very deep down, but he has a hard time expressing his emotions and would rather just stay quiet. He's a no-nonsense type when he's on a mission, getting things done without questioning why, and prioritizing orders above things like personal ties... most of the time.
(Notes for the app! 1) Final Fantasy VIII is very fond of using [coloured] [font] to emphasize points, and marking [locations] with blue text and brackets.
2) Squall likes to (internally monologue) sometimes! This is represented as (text in parenthesis.)
3) FF8's main battle system is based around 'junctioning'- assigning magic to certain attributes to strengthen them.)
Sample Post:
...This mission... is sort of ridiculous. "Reduce the amount punctuation by at least 40%, by way of eliminating the number of horrified ellipses used by the inhabitants of camp. Use any means necessary to accomplish this goal." ......I guess there could be worse missions than punctuation control.
(...There's another piece of paper here... "If you're going into the [swamp], you'd better junction magic to [rape-def-J]! ♥"? ...Whatever.)
I'd better review the contract... The sooner I finish up, the sooner I can leave. "Garden, hereafter referred to as Party A, dispatches SeeD, hereafter referred to as Party B, to [Camp Fuck You Die]. By this action, Party A would like to verify that this is the story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down, and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-air--"
...This can't be the right contract. I hope it's not the right contract. Either way, it's not helpful. So I guess I have to use my own judgment to figure out what to do in this situation... First of all, punctuation is definitely the least of anyone's worries, here. I can deal with the monsters easily enough, but when it comes to things like the puddles of multicoloured, ominously glowing ooze, I don't really know what to do about that. Some of them are even trying to get up and walk away.
(...I think that patch of swamp just winked at me.)
So. I'm here to... reduce punctuation, apparently. I can start by thinning down the monsters, but things like... that singing crab? And his whole... fuzzy forest creature orchestra? Unless you want those exterminated, I can't help you. Sorry. So try not to be too horrified by them. They're not any worse at carrying a tune than some people I've met, after all.
And you might want to do something about the sign. "Camp Fuck You Die: ABANDUN ALL HOPE YEE WHO ENTAR HEAR" isn't... I'm not sure what message you're trying to convey, but I think that it would be much more effective spelled correctly.
Poll Vote!
Character: Elgala
Series: Excel Saga
Character Age: Unspecified. (Appears teenager-ish)
Canon: Elgala makes up the third wheel of the human tricycle of DOOM that is ACROSS, a super secret organization dedicated to ridding the world of corruption. Led by their leader, the idealistic Il Palazzo, they will stop at nothing to conquer the city, country, and eventually, the world! ...Assuming their own incompetence doesn't kill them first.
Elgala first is introduced after the other girls have failed enough on their own enough times to require back up. She's haughty, spoiled, and a little bit vicious. Not having Excel's energy or Hyatt's deathly stoicism, she makes up for it in cunning and with her natural 'ladylike' advantages. Her hobbies include bathing, kidnapping, drinking to excess, and using the phrase 'I, Elgala' to refer to herself. She also has a terrible genetic condition that requires her to voice all of her innermost thoughts and opinions vocally without realizing it. (A trait expressed here in all italicized font.)
Sample Post:
Haaaa~il, Il Palazzo!!
I, Elgala, am pleased to report that my intervention has led to the success of yet *another* mission! - Perhaps the first ever! - Though the trials and tribulations were many, I, Elgala, persevered in the face of adversity and came out on top! - ...Did I, Elgala, just commit a Freudian slip?
It began when I, Elgala, and my other two lovely - but useless - Senior Agents were attempting to infiltrate the enemy base, which was disguised as a humble summer camp! Though we were all a bit reluctant to press on, and suffered being completely exposed due to lack of supplies, our noble hearts with the spirit of conquering in mind carried us through to the heart of the enemy base! - We got completely lost! No shelter, no food, no *mosquito repellant*! I thought I was going to die!
It was at this time, ten minutes into the hike, that Senior Hyatt's legs gave out and she collapsed in a pool of blood. This was completely expected, and certainly nothing unusual, so we left her and continued on. - Poor Senior Hyatt! Left to simmer in her own juices! - It was a few more steps down the dirt trail - my heels were killing me, - that the same fate befell Senior Excel! For some unknown reason, she collapsed into a pool of flesh, blood and bones! It was at this moment that the truth of the matter became commonly clear!
Senior Excel had, through Senior Hyatt as a vector, come down with a horribly fatal case, of *Senioritis!*
I, Elgala, had no choice but to exterminate! Having thoroughly disposed of the bodies - with *fire*, - I, Elgala, believe I have kept the horrible Senioritis from spreading and contaminating the ranks of ACROSS any further! I, Elgala, expect no praise or reward. - Other than of course the inevitable promotion having not one, but *two* senior members killed must bring!
Il-- Il Palazzo-sama?! Don't fall victim to the Senioritis! OHMYGOD! His arms have been crushed by his own glorious shoulder-pads! I must save him... for the sake of ACROSS!! - For the sake of meeeee!!
I... I did it. Somehow, I now hold it, in my own hands! - Gross! It's still warm and pulsating!
Look out, all enemies of ACROSS! Elgala, with the help of Il Palazzo-sama's incorruptible ideals, are here to conquer the camp! Defeat we shall not know, for I, Elgala, have SAVED IL PALAZZO-SAMA'S BRAIN!
Now all this Elgala needs is the cooperation of a good surgeon, a hamster, and an electric cattle prod. - This Elgala is *too* smart!
Poll Vote!
Character: Drusilla
Series: Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Character Age: 138, but physically a young woman just entering her maturity (so about 20)
canon: Broadly speaking, the story of Buffy The Vampire Slayer is quite simple. Buffy is the Slayer. Vampires are slayed. Or slain, depending on your personal favorite conjugation.
Back in 1860, Drusilla was a beautiful, innocent, puritanical girl whose unfortunate ability to see snatches of the future brought her to the attention of Angelus, who was, at the time, the single most vicious vampire in all of Europe. Playing a cruel game of cat and mouse, he eventually drove her to madness on the night before she was to take holy orders. Only then did he turn her into a vampire, making her torment eternal.
As a vamp, Dru has actually adjusted quite well to insanity. Although she doesn't always seem capable of making sense of her surroundings, the mental projections of others, or the visions she still regularly has, she's well past caring. Her mannerisms are those of a 19th century child… assuming that any child could be by turns morbidly romantic, enthusiastically bloodthirsty, and viciously coquettish. She's devoted, in her way, to her vampiric family, her china dolls (of whom Miss Edith is arguably her favorite), and the occasional chance to destroy the world for good this time, if not for those meddling kids.
Sample Post:
Children? I'm clapping my hands. I'm clapping, clapping... do you know what that means? It means my arms go in and out and somehow they make this funny smacking sound. Like spankings.
... no, wait. It means I wanted to tell you something. Everybody find your places in the circle... it's story time. We'll go from tallest to smallest and oldest to youngest. Oh but Miss Edith, you'll be sitting next to me where I can keep an eye on you. For those of you who do not know, Miss Edith got blood on her skirt, so she has to be punished again.
It wasn't a red skirt, you see.
And you, you nasty wicked dead thing. I like you very much, but you better put those back in your head. I only want my eyes on her. Yours are all leaky, like the rest of your face.... didn't your mother tell you it would freeze that way? Maybe you haven't got one. A mother, I mean. Maybe you rose up out of the earth... already rotting. Like trees. Nobody hears them fall.
Falling apart is very helpful though. I can tell how old you are by how many the layers of skin you've lost. It means if you sit with us you can go into the right place. I'll put you in order. Order is very important.
But what shall I read to you today? Anyone? Wait, I know! This is a really good one. A little bird told it to me. A big little bird, with a nice black coat and a stripy nose. What's a bird doing with all those brains? He had an awful lot of thoughts before he hit the glass wall that's in my head. It's like the sliding doors in shopping malls, only all the stores are closed and the birdy couldn't get back out. Flap flap flap flap Spat. It was very messy... But I think I liked the story.
Once upon a time there was a bride and groom. Only they weren't, not yet. But they could see the future and it had big white cakes like dresses and dresses like big white cakes. His name was Stephan, and I don't think she has a name round here anymore. She used to, but they don't call her that now. He gave her nicknames. And secretly I think she must have liked it very much. They did it all right... except for one thing. She wasn't the one who killed him, and it's so much better if you do it yourself. I did. I killed my perfect man and kept all his pretty thoughts with me in my head until they went sour like old milk in lemon tea...
Why, what do you mean you've all heard this one before? You haven't, you're new to this circle. Lying is a wicked sin, and now I have to hate you! I'm glad, you're ugly and you smell like dirt and I can't teach you better. Bad zombie. Bad daughters. Bad dolls!
... oh. You don't think they meant my part of the story, Miss Edith?
Dear me. And I've already dirtied my dress.
Poll Vote!