(no subject)
moar apps!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Kerclosed~
Character: Bender Bending Rodriguez
Series: Futurama
Character Age: 4
Canon: Futurama is a cartoon comedy taking place in the year 3000 or so. Humans, robots, and aliens live in peace, though mutants are condemned to the sewers. In the future we have things like 25 cent suicide booths, robot asylums, and personally interactive internet. The show revolves around three main characters: Fry, a loser from the 20th century; Leela, a one-eyed "alien" space captain, and Bender.
Bender is a typical bending robot from the 31st century: an amoral, gambling, selfish, cigar-smoking kleptomaniac who runs on alcohol (canon also implies he can run on mineral water, so we're going with that option for camp). His favorite things are himself and things that remind him of himself. His worst fears are not being remembered and the number 2. Bender will do anything for attention, from flushing his captain's pet down the toilet to forcing slaves to build a statue of him 1 billion cubits high. He will also do anything for money/free things, like looting his companions' lockers or changing himself into a "fembot." The only people Bender seems to care for are Leela and Fry, constantly referring to Fry as a pet. He's also prone to prodding at the 4th wall, talking about "convenient" and "coincidental" things that normally only the viewer would realize.
Note: as a robot, Bender is fluent in binary.
Sample Post:
Cram a sausage link in it, skinbags! I'm trying to have some alone time with this piece of bitmap, and Bender doesn't Play Well With Others. Baby, you may be outdated, but your sleek design makes you one hot, sexy GILF. You like it when I push those buttons, don't you? Yeah, that's right. I'll make you beep long into the night. I'll interface with you so hard you'll have pop-ups for wee--
Hey, I thought I told you lowlifes to shove one! Don't make me come out there and get 20th century on your ass! No one can last five minutes against me, Bender the Bendtastic. No takers, huh? That's what I thought. Now, baby, where were we--what's this? Oh, God, you opened your Wordpad! That's disgusting! It's all over the place.
Huh? Redrum? Don't mind if I do! 0101100101? That's not a word, not even in binary. Aw, great, you're no GILF, you're just a senile, worn-out peice of junkbot!
Wait! In this mirror conveniently placed behind me, I can see the everything in reverse! Damn, my flip-side is twice the stud my real-side is. Huh? What's this... murdeR! You lying skank, you don't have rum or anything red! You traitor! And to think I really thought we had something going. This is the second to last time I fall for an outdated machine! Don't think I'll let this go just because you lack a male antenna. I was made in Tijuana! I'll beat you until your errors have Does Not Compute! Take this! And this! And thaubfo,....86892w4r
. . . .
[Benderific Bender: connecting.......intimately connected
........
logging on to the CFUD intarwebs....... Welcome to the Internet!]
Now that's more like it! Cheap piece of 21st century crap. Bender's back, chumps, and he's here for good. Now hand over all your money and valuables, and I may decide to not break your inferior human legs. Oh, and fork over your hookers, too. Can't have a pimpmobile without cheap floozies.
Poll Vote!
Character: Daidouji Tomoyo
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Age: 11
Canon: When you accidentally break the seal on magical yet potentially world destroying cards, it's only natural to try and collect them all before they do anymore damage, right? Right. So starts the adventures of Sakura, a grade-schooler who gets roped into capturing all the cards. She manages to do it with the help of her friends, who all learn a few lessons about friendship, love and the power inside oneself on the way.
As Sakura's best friend, Tomoyo naturally knows all about her escapades and not only encourages them, but dresses Sakura up in assorted costumes (which she can quickly get from her handy white van) and video tapes them! Enthusiastic about anything to do with 'Sakura-chan', she can be considered Tomoyo's main obsession. Otherwise, Tomoyo is a polite, nice rich girl who is considered just a bit eccentric. Though she is sans any magic, Tomoyo has many other skills, like being the top singer in her choir, making movies or designing costumes. She is also happy in the role of the observer, as she is quite calm and mature for her age. Her maturity, coupled with her very keen perception and cunning, allows Tomoyo to act as an adviser to her friends, though some may consider some of the ways she uses her knowledge as a bit mischievous.
Sample Post:
What vision! The lake, the plants, the moon! Though unconventional, I must admire how not only has the Madam Director's horror style caught the distinct feeling of being trapped and alone, but the purple designs of the gorillas adds a certain gothic pizazz, especially as it's such a hard colour to coordinate! That isn't to say the vines with knives aren't nice, but I was hoping for something a little more... friendly. Even so, this is the perfect place for 'Sakura-chan: Horror edition, part 23!'
But as for Madam Director's 'suggestion' to add a murderer to the script on the side... I think he's more likely to be Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Film instead. Despite her allegations, I knew nothing about the murder itself and the choice of actors for murderer were rather odd. And while Oliver Clothesoff-san had a very promising audition, he seemed to become very confused when I invited him into my white van, to the point where he couldn't keep his hands to himself! Quite literally, I had to return his hands to him, then simply push him out, lock the door, and wait until he left.
Now, you may be thinking: "Why did you come out? Isn't it safer in the van?". While that is true, my work is never done. Just look at Marcy-san! No photoshop effort or CG could truly mimic a REAL tentacle monster! There's so many things most artists miss about tentacle monsters too, like how she moves towards me less like a squid and more like a bunch of water snakes, ready to... oh dear, m-maybe it would be best if she wasn't a part of the film as well.
Though...yes. Yes! I can see it now, Sakura-chan dressed in a simple green get-up that will match her eyes~ Water-proof and tentacle-proof, of course. ♥ Coupled with a cute red beret on top, Sakura-chan then tramps through the rough wilderness and preparing to face the tentacle monster head on, all the while in search of the person who hurt her friend! Ah~ so wonderful, I'm starting to feel faint! But it's best to keep this in control, so if you will Marcy-san, please keep from touching any of the extras inappropriately-- at least until I give you the signal.
Ah, and for the general audience: No zombies were harmed during the making of this film. ♥
Poll Vote!
name: Negi Springfield
canon: Mahou Sensei Negima!
age: 10
canon: If you were to ask his students, at least half of them would tell you that Negi is a cute, earnest, hard-working teacher who always does his best. The other half subconsciously want to be in his pants. All latent pedophilia surrounding him aside, Negi is basically your typical genius midget middle school English teacher. Who happens to be a very talented mage, not that you're supposed to know this. He is on an EPIC QUEST to meet his father, the legendary Thousand Master, and with the help of his rapetastic loli vampire teacher, very much molestable harisen-wielding partner, and the rest of his illicitly contracted harem army, he isn't about to give in any time soon. Although he is very responsible and something of a workaholic, he's still a child, a fact that everyone but him realizes. As a self-proclaimed English gentleman, he is very adamant about manners and tries to keep to keep his woes stacked up inside (until he gets drunk), but he is still a ten-year-old boy, despite his tendancy to talk like your kindly old grandfather. At the very least, for such a small boy, it can't be argued that he has a very large stick. P.S., he thinks it's still summer. :|d
sample post
Heehhh... So this is the summer camp I've heard so much about! It certainly has a relaxing feel to it. Mm, it's quite refreshing to see young people having fun with recreational activities and having fun. I think it's a good thing to take the time to let go and play games, get some exercise, swim in the-- is that lake glowing green? Uwah, that's amazing! I've never seen a charm have such a beautiful effect on-- Um.
Ah, right, excuse me! My name is Negi Springfield, and I've been assigned by Mahora Academy to be an English tutor for anyone who needs it in this summer camp! It's good to have fun and all but you shouldn't let your studies fall either. I know it'll be a little tough, but I hope you'll bear with me and--- ACKDFGOdsfP:SDfkw--- I-I'M SORRY P-PLEASE DON'T THROW THINGS! E-E-ESPECIALLY NOT YOUR OWN ARMS!! ...th-thank you.
...h-haaa.... W-Well, for starters, let's try discussing some of the common mistakes that are made in camp, ne? Gorilla-san here gave me a list though I'm not sure exactly where they got it from.... Let's see now... The first item on the list is... 'Put it in'. Hmm.. Uh huh. Ah, this is an easy one. To put it simply, a statement like this is useless without context. It looks like some some of you have been using this sentence incorrectly. Ah, but it's not a bad thing; everyone makes mistakes. That's how we learn. So, can anyone give an example of a proper context for this statement? Anyone? Ah! Yes, you in the front, if you please! .....eh. In me? I don't really get it though. Ah, you're willing to explain? Then, please do so!
....um? Eh, do you need to come up to explain? Oh, do you want me to help you too? Ah, I'll definitely be happy to; that's what I'm here for after all! And, what is it that you need me to do?
............my pants? U-um. C-CLASS DISMISSED!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Ion
Series: Tales of the Abyss
Character Age: 14
Canon: For over 2000 years, life on Auldrant has revolved around the Score: a complete record of the planet's memory, past and future, covering everything down to the life details of each individual. Those born with the power to read this record are called Scorers, and the Order of Lorelei, Auldrant's major religious sect, was formed to ensure that history unfolds in accordance with its contents... at any cost.
Naturally, there are people who realize this degree of commitment may be a bit out of hand. One of them is Fon Master Ion, the Order of Lorelei's leader, who despite the dubious power of his figurehead status strives to move the Order toward a more open-ended view of the Score. An earnest diplomat, he negotiates with everyone from emperors to wild animals in order to maintain peace and happiness. And although he's frail and weak in health, he's more than willing to take risks and make sacrifices when others need it.
Kind, polite, optimistic, and gently firm in his words, Ion has the naive and trusting nature of a good little Jesus type. Nevertheless, he's actually an extremely perceptive judge of character -- one who happens to be good at seeing the value in everyone, last but not least including himself.
Sample Post:
Citizens of Camphuc-Yudye! May I have your attention, please? I am Ion, Fon Master of the Order of Lorelei, and I've come to have a word with your Director. When I ordered the ban on public readings of the Score, I put my trust in local authorities to uphold it in a fair and ethical manner. Yet I've heard talk of what goes on here... "Try to score in that place, and you'll be small and fuzzy before you know what hit you" is how it was put, I believe. Is that really as it sounds -- disobedient Scorers are somehow being turned into animals? I can't allow such cruelty! And as the one who issued the ban, I'm partly at fault, so I must do everything I can to see an end to this method of punishment.
In addition to that, another very important matter has come to my attention since I arrived here. If you'll allow me just a moment of your time before I meet with the Director, I'd like to address this matter to those of you who identify as "zombies."
You see, as I was arriving, I saw a group of you retrieve a pair of underwear from that tree over there and feed it to Marcy in the lake. At first I was a little startled, as I'm not used to seeing people remove their arms so casually like that, but I was most impressed with the way you had the arms grasp each other to form a pole that reached the branches. That was quite clever, not to mention an amazing display of teamwork! And it's certainly something neither I nor anyone else with firmly attached limbs is capable of doing.
This brings me to my concern. Why, when I alerted you to my presence, did you drop the attention you'd been giving your own arms and begin grabbing at mine? Even more troubling to me is your constant pleading for my brains, as though you're unsatisfied with the ones you have already. Zombie citizens, I urge you to ask yourselves these questions:
Haven't you all demonstrated that you can do great things with your own arms and brains? Can those same arms and brains continue to accomplish such great things if they're always grasping and wishing for someone else's instead? I do hope the answers you find will make you proud of the qualities that only you, as zombies, possess.
Look -- Marcy is waving a tentacle in encouragement! Why don't you make that arm pole again, and see if you can reach even higher? I think Marcy's eying the pink and orange pair on the top branch this time.
Poll Vote!
Character: Meer Campbell
Series: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED Destiny
Character age: 17
Canon: [GSD SPOILERS!] Once upon a time, PLANT’s beloved pop princess, Lacus Clyne, jacked some Gundams, saved the world, and disappeared, leaving the colonies’ citizens woefully bereft of hot chicks telling them what to do.
Enter Meer Campbell, a Lacus impersonator hired by scheming PLANT Supreme Chairman Gilbert Durandal to control public opinion. Meer travels the world singing about peace, love, rock and roll, and obeying your wise and benevolent leaders!!! so convincingly that few people know she’s not the real deal. While Meer is generally good-natured, cheerful, energetic, hard-working, and genuinely devoted to helping out, she can also be a bit self-important and irritable under pressure.
Unfortunately, Meer becomes so swept up in the act of being Lacus, and the admiration the position brings, that she refuses to give it up until the real Lacus ousts her as an imposter. Having thus outlived her usefulness as peppy spokeswoman for the new world order, Meer is shipped unceremoniously off to the moon, where she tries to kill Lacus, changes her mind, takes a bullet for her idol, and dies, finally accepting that she’s Meer.
Sample Entry:
Brave citizens of Camp Fuck You Die, thank you for all your efforts to help Director Sayre discover her fiancee’s murderer! The situation may seem messy, the days may seem long, the work may seem hard, and the tentacles may be an uncomfortable all of the above, but your director just wants the best for all of you! So please listen to her wise messages! Ahem. “How many singers does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends; can she reach that high?” What? “Why couldn’t the singer sleep in a cabin? She didn’t know where to come in and couldn’t find the key!” Is this really Ms. Sayre’s motivational speech? “What’s the difference between a singer and a zombie? At least one of them wants brains” -
- Attention, everyone! Your lovely director’s notes have been mysteriously replaced by fakes! But please, my friends, stay calm. If we all work together, we can arrange something else to keep everyone upbeat! Now… how long has it been since anyone put on a Camp Fuck You Die concert?
You - yes, you in the grey! The way your ribs are sticking out, you’re only a few good tugs from being a perfect xylophone, aren’t you? Let’s see… a few hollow heads will be percussionary perfection, and you lot over there can be accompanists. I’ve already started a chorus for you to learn! In this fetid swamp, I’m waiting for you/Forgetting the squirrels’ pictures and dreaming of you. Time passes by; there is no escape/And it’s slightly hard to avoid gorilla r-
Well, I don’t want to reveal everything just yet! The whole song is in the key of zombie-flat, so at least that part will be easy for everyone. But you’ll need to work hard to not gargle indistinctly while you’re singing, and we’ll have to make sure you don’t fall apart on me as soon as you’re up onstage, and… oh, all that grey of yours isn’t going to cheer anyone up. Really, it will be a lot of work to get you ready to perform, but I’m willing to give you my best!
... no, I said my best, not my brains. I already told you those notes aren’t actually Director Sayre’s... and honestly, you should know better than to listen to a fake.
Poll Vote!
Name: Colonello
Age: 1 or so
Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Canon: In the shady world of the Italian mafia, rejecting all explanation and logic, there exists an infamous group of powerful killer infants called the Arcobaleno: seven babies with histories as colorful as their rainbow pacifiers, and personalities as large and abusive as their arsenals. Reborn, a one-year-old hitman in a black suit and snappy hat, spends his time tutoring the unwilling hero Sawada Tsunayoshi to become the new Vongola family boss, and he does it with the liberal application of bullets and comedic pain. And then there's Colonello, the one-baby army that deals with intruders and family war breakouts on an illegally-funded private mafia paradise island. Colonello is a former member of the Italian special combat frogmen force Comsubin, a fully-fledged Spartan soldier of war, and Reborn's ally and rival. He wears standard issue steel-toed baby boots, military uniform, and carries anti-tank weaponry four times his height as his favored weapon - and in Colonello's frank opinion, it's no wonder Tsuna's taking so long to succeed with a tutor as soft as Reborn. What kind of impact does he expect to make on his pupil with puny bullets like that?
Basically, Colonello is a tiny, surly, violent, overpowered drill sergeant. He tosses students into shark-infested whirlpools and blows up warships in battle-glee, but if war breaks out during naptime, he's gonna nap. Over his "years" he's been a mentor to thousands of students, and has refined his experience with training stupid fighters down to an art; he'll even deliver a nearly-fatal blow to his own student right off the bat, bringing out his Desperate True Power himself instead of leaving it to a real enemy. He takes a lot of pride in his students, though - even if it nearly kills them to survive his training.
Sample Post:
Hey, what kind of cheap camp is this? The family that owns this place isn't spending its dirty money right if they can't even clean up their own bodies with it, and an effective arsenal is the most basic source of the mafia's pride! I've barely started working these kids and I've already busted six shotguns on them - if these cheap things can't handle a few love taps on human skulls without breaking apart, they're no good for combat! It's going to be a pain getting decent weapons so far away from my usual dealers' supply routes. I should have known the training grounds would be in such poor condition when Reborn came crying to me about needing help with his students in America.
Listen up, recruits! I'm not soft like Reborn, so your faces had better prepare for the imprints of my boots! It's been a long time since I've taken over 300 students at once, and you're all at completely different levels. I'm splitting you into groups, got it? All of you attack each other! No killing allowed, this is survival elimination. The weakest will crawl out first; you noodle-body failures will start off easy with some endurance training. I want ten gorilla hides each by nightfall. Don't come back until you've managed it. Once you smash them in the face and skin them yourself, you can move up to the next step.
The next hundred who get knocked out can join the early recruits in the lake-- Hey, you! Where are you going? Get back in there! What the hell do you think you're in there for, swimming laps? Do I look like your gym teacher? Go back and fight the monster! Don't whine to me about not having a weapon, it's not even armored. You don't eat if you don't sever some tentacles and cook them yourself, and if you cheat on making your own fire, you go back in the lake! Try to escape and you'll train as an anchor. Don't disappoint me!
Everyone who stays past the first two hundred down, you pass. You'll help me build your obstacle course. Everyone catch a snake or get a cut of a violating tree for the pit I've prepared for you, and get used to these decent weapons before tomorrow. If you can't lift the grenade launchers, lift boulders until you can! You'll all understand the beauty of a huge, tide-turning blast once you feel it in close-quarters combat, and bond with each other as comrades and moving targets.
Hey, got it?! Dismissed!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Kerclosed~
Character: Bender Bending Rodriguez
Series: Futurama
Character Age: 4
Canon: Futurama is a cartoon comedy taking place in the year 3000 or so. Humans, robots, and aliens live in peace, though mutants are condemned to the sewers. In the future we have things like 25 cent suicide booths, robot asylums, and personally interactive internet. The show revolves around three main characters: Fry, a loser from the 20th century; Leela, a one-eyed "alien" space captain, and Bender.
Bender is a typical bending robot from the 31st century: an amoral, gambling, selfish, cigar-smoking kleptomaniac who runs on alcohol (canon also implies he can run on mineral water, so we're going with that option for camp). His favorite things are himself and things that remind him of himself. His worst fears are not being remembered and the number 2. Bender will do anything for attention, from flushing his captain's pet down the toilet to forcing slaves to build a statue of him 1 billion cubits high. He will also do anything for money/free things, like looting his companions' lockers or changing himself into a "fembot." The only people Bender seems to care for are Leela and Fry, constantly referring to Fry as a pet. He's also prone to prodding at the 4th wall, talking about "convenient" and "coincidental" things that normally only the viewer would realize.
Note: as a robot, Bender is fluent in binary.
Sample Post:
Cram a sausage link in it, skinbags! I'm trying to have some alone time with this piece of bitmap, and Bender doesn't Play Well With Others. Baby, you may be outdated, but your sleek design makes you one hot, sexy GILF. You like it when I push those buttons, don't you? Yeah, that's right. I'll make you beep long into the night. I'll interface with you so hard you'll have pop-ups for wee--
Hey, I thought I told you lowlifes to shove one! Don't make me come out there and get 20th century on your ass! No one can last five minutes against me, Bender the Bendtastic. No takers, huh? That's what I thought. Now, baby, where were we--what's this? Oh, God, you opened your Wordpad! That's disgusting! It's all over the place.
Huh? Redrum? Don't mind if I do! 0101100101? That's not a word, not even in binary. Aw, great, you're no GILF, you're just a senile, worn-out peice of junkbot!
Wait! In this mirror conveniently placed behind me, I can see the everything in reverse! Damn, my flip-side is twice the stud my real-side is. Huh? What's this... murdeR! You lying skank, you don't have rum or anything red! You traitor! And to think I really thought we had something going. This is the second to last time I fall for an outdated machine! Don't think I'll let this go just because you lack a male antenna. I was made in Tijuana! I'll beat you until your errors have Does Not Compute! Take this! And this! And thaubfo,....86892w4r
. . . .
[Benderific Bender: connecting.......intimately connected
........
logging on to the CFUD intarwebs....... Welcome to the Internet!]
Now that's more like it! Cheap piece of 21st century crap. Bender's back, chumps, and he's here for good. Now hand over all your money and valuables, and I may decide to not break your inferior human legs. Oh, and fork over your hookers, too. Can't have a pimpmobile without cheap floozies.
Poll Vote!
Character: Daidouji Tomoyo
Series: Cardcaptor Sakura
Age: 11
Canon: When you accidentally break the seal on magical yet potentially world destroying cards, it's only natural to try and collect them all before they do anymore damage, right? Right. So starts the adventures of Sakura, a grade-schooler who gets roped into capturing all the cards. She manages to do it with the help of her friends, who all learn a few lessons about friendship, love and the power inside oneself on the way.
As Sakura's best friend, Tomoyo naturally knows all about her escapades and not only encourages them, but dresses Sakura up in assorted costumes (which she can quickly get from her handy white van) and video tapes them! Enthusiastic about anything to do with 'Sakura-chan', she can be considered Tomoyo's main obsession. Otherwise, Tomoyo is a polite, nice rich girl who is considered just a bit eccentric. Though she is sans any magic, Tomoyo has many other skills, like being the top singer in her choir, making movies or designing costumes. She is also happy in the role of the observer, as she is quite calm and mature for her age. Her maturity, coupled with her very keen perception and cunning, allows Tomoyo to act as an adviser to her friends, though some may consider some of the ways she uses her knowledge as a bit mischievous.
Sample Post:
What vision! The lake, the plants, the moon! Though unconventional, I must admire how not only has the Madam Director's horror style caught the distinct feeling of being trapped and alone, but the purple designs of the gorillas adds a certain gothic pizazz, especially as it's such a hard colour to coordinate! That isn't to say the vines with knives aren't nice, but I was hoping for something a little more... friendly. Even so, this is the perfect place for 'Sakura-chan: Horror edition, part 23!'
But as for Madam Director's 'suggestion' to add a murderer to the script on the side... I think he's more likely to be Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Film instead. Despite her allegations, I knew nothing about the murder itself and the choice of actors for murderer were rather odd. And while Oliver Clothesoff-san had a very promising audition, he seemed to become very confused when I invited him into my white van, to the point where he couldn't keep his hands to himself! Quite literally, I had to return his hands to him, then simply push him out, lock the door, and wait until he left.
Now, you may be thinking: "Why did you come out? Isn't it safer in the van?". While that is true, my work is never done. Just look at Marcy-san! No photoshop effort or CG could truly mimic a REAL tentacle monster! There's so many things most artists miss about tentacle monsters too, like how she moves towards me less like a squid and more like a bunch of water snakes, ready to... oh dear, m-maybe it would be best if she wasn't a part of the film as well.
Though...yes. Yes! I can see it now, Sakura-chan dressed in a simple green get-up that will match her eyes~ Water-proof and tentacle-proof, of course. ♥ Coupled with a cute red beret on top, Sakura-chan then tramps through the rough wilderness and preparing to face the tentacle monster head on, all the while in search of the person who hurt her friend! Ah~ so wonderful, I'm starting to feel faint! But it's best to keep this in control, so if you will Marcy-san, please keep from touching any of the extras inappropriately-- at least until I give you the signal.
Ah, and for the general audience: No zombies were harmed during the making of this film. ♥
Poll Vote!
name: Negi Springfield
canon: Mahou Sensei Negima!
age: 10
canon: If you were to ask his students, at least half of them would tell you that Negi is a cute, earnest, hard-working teacher who always does his best. The other half subconsciously want to be in his pants. All latent pedophilia surrounding him aside, Negi is basically your typical genius midget middle school English teacher. Who happens to be a very talented mage, not that you're supposed to know this. He is on an EPIC QUEST to meet his father, the legendary Thousand Master, and with the help of his rapetastic loli vampire teacher, very much molestable harisen-wielding partner, and the rest of his illicitly contracted harem army, he isn't about to give in any time soon. Although he is very responsible and something of a workaholic, he's still a child, a fact that everyone but him realizes. As a self-proclaimed English gentleman, he is very adamant about manners and tries to keep to keep his woes stacked up inside (until he gets drunk), but he is still a ten-year-old boy, despite his tendancy to talk like your kindly old grandfather. At the very least, for such a small boy, it can't be argued that he has a very large stick. P.S., he thinks it's still summer. :|d
sample post
Heehhh... So this is the summer camp I've heard so much about! It certainly has a relaxing feel to it. Mm, it's quite refreshing to see young people having fun with recreational activities and having fun. I think it's a good thing to take the time to let go and play games, get some exercise, swim in the-- is that lake glowing green? Uwah, that's amazing! I've never seen a charm have such a beautiful effect on-- Um.
Ah, right, excuse me! My name is Negi Springfield, and I've been assigned by Mahora Academy to be an English tutor for anyone who needs it in this summer camp! It's good to have fun and all but you shouldn't let your studies fall either. I know it'll be a little tough, but I hope you'll bear with me and--- ACKDFGOdsfP:SDfkw--- I-I'M SORRY P-PLEASE DON'T THROW THINGS! E-E-ESPECIALLY NOT YOUR OWN ARMS!! ...th-thank you.
...h-haaa.... W-Well, for starters, let's try discussing some of the common mistakes that are made in camp, ne? Gorilla-san here gave me a list though I'm not sure exactly where they got it from.... Let's see now... The first item on the list is... 'Put it in'. Hmm.. Uh huh. Ah, this is an easy one. To put it simply, a statement like this is useless without context. It looks like some some of you have been using this sentence incorrectly. Ah, but it's not a bad thing; everyone makes mistakes. That's how we learn. So, can anyone give an example of a proper context for this statement? Anyone? Ah! Yes, you in the front, if you please! .....eh. In me? I don't really get it though. Ah, you're willing to explain? Then, please do so!
....um? Eh, do you need to come up to explain? Oh, do you want me to help you too? Ah, I'll definitely be happy to; that's what I'm here for after all! And, what is it that you need me to do?
............my pants? U-um. C-CLASS DISMISSED!!
Poll Vote!
Character: Ion
Series: Tales of the Abyss
Character Age: 14
Canon: For over 2000 years, life on Auldrant has revolved around the Score: a complete record of the planet's memory, past and future, covering everything down to the life details of each individual. Those born with the power to read this record are called Scorers, and the Order of Lorelei, Auldrant's major religious sect, was formed to ensure that history unfolds in accordance with its contents... at any cost.
Naturally, there are people who realize this degree of commitment may be a bit out of hand. One of them is Fon Master Ion, the Order of Lorelei's leader, who despite the dubious power of his figurehead status strives to move the Order toward a more open-ended view of the Score. An earnest diplomat, he negotiates with everyone from emperors to wild animals in order to maintain peace and happiness. And although he's frail and weak in health, he's more than willing to take risks and make sacrifices when others need it.
Kind, polite, optimistic, and gently firm in his words, Ion has the naive and trusting nature of a good little Jesus type. Nevertheless, he's actually an extremely perceptive judge of character -- one who happens to be good at seeing the value in everyone, last but not least including himself.
Sample Post:
Citizens of Camphuc-Yudye! May I have your attention, please? I am Ion, Fon Master of the Order of Lorelei, and I've come to have a word with your Director. When I ordered the ban on public readings of the Score, I put my trust in local authorities to uphold it in a fair and ethical manner. Yet I've heard talk of what goes on here... "Try to score in that place, and you'll be small and fuzzy before you know what hit you" is how it was put, I believe. Is that really as it sounds -- disobedient Scorers are somehow being turned into animals? I can't allow such cruelty! And as the one who issued the ban, I'm partly at fault, so I must do everything I can to see an end to this method of punishment.
In addition to that, another very important matter has come to my attention since I arrived here. If you'll allow me just a moment of your time before I meet with the Director, I'd like to address this matter to those of you who identify as "zombies."
You see, as I was arriving, I saw a group of you retrieve a pair of underwear from that tree over there and feed it to Marcy in the lake. At first I was a little startled, as I'm not used to seeing people remove their arms so casually like that, but I was most impressed with the way you had the arms grasp each other to form a pole that reached the branches. That was quite clever, not to mention an amazing display of teamwork! And it's certainly something neither I nor anyone else with firmly attached limbs is capable of doing.
This brings me to my concern. Why, when I alerted you to my presence, did you drop the attention you'd been giving your own arms and begin grabbing at mine? Even more troubling to me is your constant pleading for my brains, as though you're unsatisfied with the ones you have already. Zombie citizens, I urge you to ask yourselves these questions:
Haven't you all demonstrated that you can do great things with your own arms and brains? Can those same arms and brains continue to accomplish such great things if they're always grasping and wishing for someone else's instead? I do hope the answers you find will make you proud of the qualities that only you, as zombies, possess.
Look -- Marcy is waving a tentacle in encouragement! Why don't you make that arm pole again, and see if you can reach even higher? I think Marcy's eying the pink and orange pair on the top branch this time.
Poll Vote!
Character: Meer Campbell
Series: Mobile Suit Gundam SEED Destiny
Character age: 17
Canon: [GSD SPOILERS!] Once upon a time, PLANT’s beloved pop princess, Lacus Clyne, jacked some Gundams, saved the world, and disappeared, leaving the colonies’ citizens woefully bereft of hot chicks telling them what to do.
Enter Meer Campbell, a Lacus impersonator hired by scheming PLANT Supreme Chairman Gilbert Durandal to control public opinion. Meer travels the world singing about peace, love, rock and roll, and obeying your wise and benevolent leaders!!! so convincingly that few people know she’s not the real deal. While Meer is generally good-natured, cheerful, energetic, hard-working, and genuinely devoted to helping out, she can also be a bit self-important and irritable under pressure.
Unfortunately, Meer becomes so swept up in the act of being Lacus, and the admiration the position brings, that she refuses to give it up until the real Lacus ousts her as an imposter. Having thus outlived her usefulness as peppy spokeswoman for the new world order, Meer is shipped unceremoniously off to the moon, where she tries to kill Lacus, changes her mind, takes a bullet for her idol, and dies, finally accepting that she’s Meer.
Sample Entry:
Brave citizens of Camp Fuck You Die, thank you for all your efforts to help Director Sayre discover her fiancee’s murderer! The situation may seem messy, the days may seem long, the work may seem hard, and the tentacles may be an uncomfortable all of the above, but your director just wants the best for all of you! So please listen to her wise messages! Ahem. “How many singers does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends; can she reach that high?” What? “Why couldn’t the singer sleep in a cabin? She didn’t know where to come in and couldn’t find the key!” Is this really Ms. Sayre’s motivational speech? “What’s the difference between a singer and a zombie? At least one of them wants brains” -
- Attention, everyone! Your lovely director’s notes have been mysteriously replaced by fakes! But please, my friends, stay calm. If we all work together, we can arrange something else to keep everyone upbeat! Now… how long has it been since anyone put on a Camp Fuck You Die concert?
You - yes, you in the grey! The way your ribs are sticking out, you’re only a few good tugs from being a perfect xylophone, aren’t you? Let’s see… a few hollow heads will be percussionary perfection, and you lot over there can be accompanists. I’ve already started a chorus for you to learn! In this fetid swamp, I’m waiting for you/Forgetting the squirrels’ pictures and dreaming of you. Time passes by; there is no escape/And it’s slightly hard to avoid gorilla r-
Well, I don’t want to reveal everything just yet! The whole song is in the key of zombie-flat, so at least that part will be easy for everyone. But you’ll need to work hard to not gargle indistinctly while you’re singing, and we’ll have to make sure you don’t fall apart on me as soon as you’re up onstage, and… oh, all that grey of yours isn’t going to cheer anyone up. Really, it will be a lot of work to get you ready to perform, but I’m willing to give you my best!
... no, I said my best, not my brains. I already told you those notes aren’t actually Director Sayre’s... and honestly, you should know better than to listen to a fake.
Poll Vote!
Name: Colonello
Age: 1 or so
Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Canon: In the shady world of the Italian mafia, rejecting all explanation and logic, there exists an infamous group of powerful killer infants called the Arcobaleno: seven babies with histories as colorful as their rainbow pacifiers, and personalities as large and abusive as their arsenals. Reborn, a one-year-old hitman in a black suit and snappy hat, spends his time tutoring the unwilling hero Sawada Tsunayoshi to become the new Vongola family boss, and he does it with the liberal application of bullets and comedic pain. And then there's Colonello, the one-baby army that deals with intruders and family war breakouts on an illegally-funded private mafia paradise island. Colonello is a former member of the Italian special combat frogmen force Comsubin, a fully-fledged Spartan soldier of war, and Reborn's ally and rival. He wears standard issue steel-toed baby boots, military uniform, and carries anti-tank weaponry four times his height as his favored weapon - and in Colonello's frank opinion, it's no wonder Tsuna's taking so long to succeed with a tutor as soft as Reborn. What kind of impact does he expect to make on his pupil with puny bullets like that?
Basically, Colonello is a tiny, surly, violent, overpowered drill sergeant. He tosses students into shark-infested whirlpools and blows up warships in battle-glee, but if war breaks out during naptime, he's gonna nap. Over his "years" he's been a mentor to thousands of students, and has refined his experience with training stupid fighters down to an art; he'll even deliver a nearly-fatal blow to his own student right off the bat, bringing out his Desperate True Power himself instead of leaving it to a real enemy. He takes a lot of pride in his students, though - even if it nearly kills them to survive his training.
Sample Post:
Hey, what kind of cheap camp is this? The family that owns this place isn't spending its dirty money right if they can't even clean up their own bodies with it, and an effective arsenal is the most basic source of the mafia's pride! I've barely started working these kids and I've already busted six shotguns on them - if these cheap things can't handle a few love taps on human skulls without breaking apart, they're no good for combat! It's going to be a pain getting decent weapons so far away from my usual dealers' supply routes. I should have known the training grounds would be in such poor condition when Reborn came crying to me about needing help with his students in America.
Listen up, recruits! I'm not soft like Reborn, so your faces had better prepare for the imprints of my boots! It's been a long time since I've taken over 300 students at once, and you're all at completely different levels. I'm splitting you into groups, got it? All of you attack each other! No killing allowed, this is survival elimination. The weakest will crawl out first; you noodle-body failures will start off easy with some endurance training. I want ten gorilla hides each by nightfall. Don't come back until you've managed it. Once you smash them in the face and skin them yourself, you can move up to the next step.
The next hundred who get knocked out can join the early recruits in the lake-- Hey, you! Where are you going? Get back in there! What the hell do you think you're in there for, swimming laps? Do I look like your gym teacher? Go back and fight the monster! Don't whine to me about not having a weapon, it's not even armored. You don't eat if you don't sever some tentacles and cook them yourself, and if you cheat on making your own fire, you go back in the lake! Try to escape and you'll train as an anchor. Don't disappoint me!
Everyone who stays past the first two hundred down, you pass. You'll help me build your obstacle course. Everyone catch a snake or get a cut of a violating tree for the pit I've prepared for you, and get used to these decent weapons before tomorrow. If you can't lift the grenade launchers, lift boulders until you can! You'll all understand the beauty of a huge, tide-turning blast once you feel it in close-quarters combat, and bond with each other as comrades and moving targets.
Hey, got it?! Dismissed!
Poll Vote!