(no subject)
Goddamn you guys. OKAY! SURELY, THIS ROUND WILL LAST A WHILE, SINCE IT'S LATE AT NIGHT... IN AMERICA. RIGHT? The trend of amazing apps continues. Vote ♥
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE! Closed!~
Character name: Ichihara Yuuko
Series: xxxHOLiC
Age: A lady never tells~ but she could pass for not-quite-thirty
Job: Overseer of Lost and Found Items
Canon: xxxHOLiC portrays the life of Watanuki Kimihiro. High school student, living alone, part-time job... what's so exciting about that? Add a little spirits, a touch of the arcane, and the frequent CLAMP character appearance, and you've got yourself a whole lot of "what the hell just happened". All Watanuki ever wanted was to not be bothered by every spirit (and its dead mom) he happens to come across. His life starts changing when he happens to stumble across a very special store...
Ichihara Yuuko, also known as The Far Eastern Witch, The Time-Space Witch, the Guess-How-Many-Other-Names-I-Have witch, is the owner of the aforementioned shop. Being a powerful sorceress able to cross both time and space, regular ol' demons and ghosts don't bother her. In fact, they bring in business. Fulfilling wishes and providing assistance to human and non-humans is what she does best. That is, as long as you pay the right price for it. The more a person wants something, the higher the price, and Yuuko is such a stickler when it comes to her payments.
As Yuuko-the-person, she's known to be rather eccentric, outrageous, and, well. Sadistic is a good word for it. Conning Watanuki into additional servitude, drinking all day and night, and requesting outlandish prices for her services, Yuuko actually has a purpose for her unconventionality. Playing a mentor-figure for Watanuki throughout the series, Yuuko teaches him about human nature while he completes the tasks she gives him. Understanding a person means understanding their sorrows, joy, and love. No wonder fulfilling a person's true wish is the hardest thing this witch can do.
Sample Entry:
My, what a place this is~ Madam Sayre's lingering emotions seem to have infested the surroundings, and the borders she created are quite impenetrable now. Just another victim trapped for her amusement, hm? We'll see about that. ♥ I have my own limits of interference to be careful of, but I can't let my dear Director have all the fun~ And it's evident that she would like to play from the invitation I received. Her request to fill a position is certainly interesting. I think I'll take her suggestion of "making myself at home" to heart.
That abandoned boat shack will do quite nicely for my shop's temporary residence. Easily accessible for those who need it and can see it, of no consequence to those who don't, and an exquisite view of the lakeside. There's hardly anything better than watching the mermaids try to make unsuspecting campers part of their world~ Their singing is quite lovely, too. Their rendition of Amazing Grace is certainly encouraging to Marcy-san who's always willing to lend a tentacle or two to find lost virginities. My services won't provide much help to them, I'm afraid. Those poor, unfortunate souls.
Perhaps I can send my delinquent employee to help them out. I certainly deserve some compensation for the time he's spent here and slacking off. Maybe I can send him out for this and that and ... Hm, enough of this chitchatting and idle musing. Down to business~
For those of you who don't know me, I am Ichihara Yuuko, and I'll be the new overseer of your all of your Lost and Found Items. From the wayward sock to the missing limb, I'll be in charge of tracking, gathering, and re-distributing the things which you've lost. Unfortunately, losing your mind doesn't fall under my domain. You'll just have to find the cause of that yourself~ If someone can't find what they're looking for, they can speak with me to arrange a trade. Yes, a trade. My services aren't free, you know. Everything has a price. I'm a businesswoman, after all, not a babysitter of your things. Just keep in mind that perhaps your items wanted to be lost in the first place~
If you have need of me, my shop can be found near the lake. If it looks a bit different from what you'd expect, it just means that maybe you and I have something special to trade. And for those campers who have been here for some time have lost the sensation of something crawling in their skin, don't worry. Some of the zombies have paid that price for you; the sensation should be returning shortly. ♥
And now that I've done my little bit of introducing myself, I can afford to relax~ Oh, Watanuki! Come tell Yuuko-chan what you've been doing while having fun without your employer~
Poll Vote!
Character: Sirius Black
Series: Harry Potter
Character Age: 36-7 (no official date of birth, but it's assumed)
Job: Professional Escape Instructor
Canon: Harry Potter is a simple story of a boy wizard with two dead parents charged with saving the wizarding and non-wizarding worlds from the same force of evil that did his parents in.
So where does Sirius Black fit into this equation you ask? Sirius is Harry's godfather, an escaped convict from the wizarding prison known as Azkaban where most inmates go completely off their rockers unless they can turn into a great big black dog and keep their sanity. Luckily, Sirius is quite capable of this. Also unlike most inmates, Sirius manages to escape, but then finds himself locked up once again in his parent's old home by the forces of good. Perhaps due to the fact that he was only in his early twenties when locked up, following his escape Sirius is as brash, adventurous, egotistical, outgoing, and flirtatious as he was in his youth. However, his time of suffering has considerably hardened him and given him something of a more rough vicious side, prone to outbursts of rage and restlessness.
Sample Post:
You know, I've recently realized that today's youth seems to have become much whinier and more annoying than the way kids behaved in my day. "Oh my summer was so horrible I got attacked by dark beasties!" Sounds like a fine challenge to me! "Oh my life is so agonizing my parents don't love me!" Bravo for originality, I'm sure I've done you one much better! "Oh please save me they've trapped me in a summer camp and the zombies are gnawing at my leg!" Hah! This place? A trap? You're making me laugh.
This camp's hardly like a prison at all! You've got zombies to split in two, vines to dodge, and I've heard the swimming's a grand adventure if you like your adrenaline running. A good sporting tussle with a tentacle monster's worlds better than an evening with a feather duster.
If I had my way, I'd be fine staying here for a good long time. No Dark Lords to worry about, no foul-smelling greasy gits for coworkers. But a job's a job. Miss Director even seems to appreciate my skills as an escape artist so much that she's promised me a very lovely reward for a job well done. Well, reward or no reward, it's still one better than the Order back home. I much prefer this setting to being boarded up in a crumbling house for months on end with nothing to do other than order around the off-his-rocker house elf who's always finding the perfect time to watch you fa-well. You kids don't need that sort of detail, do you? After all, plenty of space here without ceilings over all of it.
So then! Greetings boys and girls of Camp Fuck U Die! My name is Sirius Black and I'm to be your Professional Escape Instructor. If you're tired of this squalid hell hole of a swamp, worry no more! You may all be behind on your studies but at least I know a simple protective spell when I see one. Barrier? Child's play! I'll have this "barrier" gone faster than you can say-nnghk!
. . . that was certainly unexpected. The Director had mentioned something about nubile, buxom young women once I was done. But I was under the impression that the nubile, buxom young women would be a reward and not a punishment. Miss Director, you're quite a witch if you can transfigure me into a female, but really, this kind of thing-what is it the kids around here are saying-oh yes. My kind lady, these tits need to get the fuck out.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ted Kord, alias Blue Beetle
Series: DC Comics
Age: Early to mid 30s
Job: Public Service Announcer
Canon: Ted Kord was a favored student of Prof. Dan Garrett, the first Blue Beetle. Ted's mentor was killed while helping Ted stop his uncle from conquering the world, but not before Dan passed the hero legacy on to his young friend. He didn't, however, manage to pass on the mystical scarab that granted his superpowers. So now Ted doesn't have the power of flight, or super strength, or laser eyes, but he's smart and he's really good at kicking people in the face. And, by golly, that and a pair of tights is enough to get on the Justice League! Occasional battles to keep his weight under control and a vaguely defined heart condition don't keep him from helping to save the world, even if helping is sometimes just boring monitor duty.
Ted's inventing and detective skills could rival Batman's, but you'd never guess it from his constant wisecracks and gift at playing the buffoon. Because constantly updating and repairing his fancy gadgets and gear can put quite a dent in his savings account, Ted sometimes gets involved in undignified money making schemes. Don't worry; he didn't have much dignity to begin with. Just because he's old enough to have a heart condition doesn't necessarily mean he's mature enough to always act his age. His mouth and silly antics may get him in plenty of trouble, but behind his joking exterior is a normal guy (with a heart condition) who honestly just wants to help the world and works hard to do it. And did I mention the heart condition? Because he will.
Sample Post:
Help the community, Beetle! It's for the children, Beetle! At least it's not monitor duty again, Beetle! I'll tell you this, Superman would never get suckered into one of these promo tours, and the kids would respect him. All I'm getting is smart mouths making fun of my goggles and pointing out my girdle line. If I wanted that, I could have stayed at League Headquarters! Just hope the appearance fee covers the cost of my dignity. Alright, here goes nothing except the last shred of my pride.
Ahem. … Ah-h-hem. … HEY! LISTEN UP WHEN A SUPERHERO'S TALKING TO YOU! Geez, isn't the colorful spandex supposed to draw attention? There, that's much better.
Hi there, kiddies! I'm the Blue Beetle and I'm going to talk to you about taking care of your body! Do you find yourself feeling listless or tired often? Do you get cranky with your cabinmates after a nice day of escaping the local wildlife? Don't worry; there's a way to fix all that. Those are the effects of bad diet and exercise habits. But don't despair, children! Uncle Beetle has some handy trips and tricks to get you all in top shape!
For example, if your mind is healthy, your body will be healthy, too. Start eating more "brain foods" like fish and grains. If you're in a rush, or just scared of whatever might come out of that lake, fishsticks work just fine. They've got more fat than a boring ol' filet, which helps keep your brain tender and traps in the succulent flavors of - wait, what? Who wrote this? Listen, if you think you can scare me off just by messing with my cue cards, you're in for a surprise. I've got pages of this stuff and I'm getting paid by the word. If I've got to listen to the crap coming out of my mouth then, by golly, so do all of you!
After refreshing your mind, rejuvenate your body. As a superhero, I know how just how tense constant life or death situations can make a person. Make time to relax. Soak in a nice, hot bath of herbs and spices every day. You can even bring veggies in with you for a snack. If you're the new-age type, some aromatherapy might be just for you. Teriyaki sauce for stress relief, balsamic vinaigrette for a quick energy boost, and always be sure to add a dash of meat tenderizer to help those muscles relax. This is a joke, right? I mean, everybody knows that teriyaki is a confidence enhancing scent. -- Oh, right. Speaking of muscles, those rippling abs of steel and bulging biceps won't help you catch that certain someone's eye if you're so uptight you look constipated all the time. In fact, it could do you some good to cut back on the exercise, and don't worry about gaining some pudge. Think of it as a layer of protective coating! And in a swampy area, those extra pounds might come in handy as an emergency flotation device.
Okay, okay, that is enough. You just snuck that last part in there to make fun of me, didn't you? Well, let me tell you, it's not appreciated. I've got a heart condition, you know! That makes it a little difficult to keep up the old exercise routines, and the last thing I need is grief about it! No, I won't take a stupid warm marinara dip to calm my nerves! Keep your big paycheck, as soon as I do my ending bit, I'm out of here.
This public service announcement was brought to you by Blue Beetle, hero extraordinaire, and the Committee For Undead Dieticians for Better Eating. ... Okay, now I know somebody messed with my cue cards because that can't possibly be League-sanctioned.
Poll Vote!
Character: Michael Jon Carter, AKA Booster Gold
Series: DC Comics
Age: Early 30s
Job: Head Cheerleading Coach
Canon: Michael Jon Carter was caught betting on his own football games when he was the star quarterback for Gotham University in the year 2462. He'll try to tell you that it was for a good reason, yadda yadda, but it all boils down to the fact that from that day forward, Michael's image was completely ruined...in the future, that is. In the present, however, no one had even heard of him! So Michael once again (but certainly not for the last time) took advantage of his position. As a rent-a-cop at a history museum, Michael stole a flight ring and a forcefield belt and set out to use the antique time machine to go back to the 20th century. Using his often incomplete and incorrect knowledge of the 20th century, Michael attempted to rocket himself to super stardom, becoming a superhero and adopting the moniker Booster Gold! Booster became the hot superhero. Everyone got jealous and he had fanclubs and movie deals and at least four Swedish models around him at all times. And he lived happily ever after.
Well, that's what the replays are like in Booster's head. In reality, Booster gave a few bad interviews, got chastised a few times by Superman (apparently being fame-hungry isn't conducive to Good Samaritan laws) and was down on his luck when he got the offer of a lifetime: the Justice League! Booster Gold tends to find himself at odds with the League's Ethics Committee, whether it's because of his constant, hopeless flirting, his many get-rich-quick schemes and celebrity endorsements, or his gold digging marriage to a much older woman. Booster is a complete idiot sometimes, (okay, all the time,) but he really does mean well. Especially if meaning well gives him a nice, fat paycheck.
Sample Post
Oh, hi there! Hey, I was wondering if you could help me. I'm Booster. You know, Booster Gold?...You don't know? Really? Well, I mean, I guess I'll forgive, considering how far in the middle of nowhere we are, but trust me, in a few days, you'll know. Normally I wouldn't be so far out away from, ah, "modern" amenities, but I was just getting so sick of all of the screaming fangirls, Hollywood parties and ridiculously lucrative movie deals. A man needs to reconnect with the Earth, right? Plus, I mean, it didn't hurt that they offered me a position as the cheerleading coach. They couldn't really offer me as much money as I'm used to, but I think the job will be its "own reward". Honestly, I was a natural for the position, anyway! Who knows cheerleaders better than the greatest quarterback of the 25th Century? I think I can really help this team out and lead them to a few Interplanetary Competitions. It'll be a piece of cake, really. I'll be able to coach the girls on their, um...form and...cheerleaderocity. That is too a word! That's a special, er, 25th Century word!
So! I'm thinking my first order of business will be to organize try-outs. Okay, ladies, get in a group! Wow. Uhh, are you all feeling alright? Because you look collectively...er...green. Remind me not to drink the water...
Alright! So let's see some of that cheerleaderocity! Preferably, you know, back flips, pyramids, whatever you've got. You know, I haven't heard of the "UNNNNHH" football team before, but that is a particularly interesting cheer. Oh. OH. I don't think arms are supposed to come off that easily! Um...You...go ahead and pick those up, okay? We can't just have body parts laying around. You know what? Let's try something new. How about a pyramid, those look easy enough! I'll just spot you ladies back here and you just climb right up there. Well, at least the view from behind the pyramid won't be so ba-AHH!!
I...I was SO WRONG. Get down! Get down from the pyramid! There are things a man can't unsee, and whatever is under those skirts is certainly among them. Ewwwww...Okay, first of all ladies, new rule: You must always cover yourself appropriately! Wear the right clothes (or underclothes, as the case may be)! Especially if you're greenish. This...this is just not natural. I mean, I should know, I am Booster Gold. Secondly, you really should be able to hold a pyramid without losing your hands and knees. If I have to deal with loose body parts, I'm expecting double, you hear me? Hey, are you even listening? Don't ignore me! I only let people I like ignore me! And don't interr-- What is this "BRAAA YAINS" you keep talking about? Is this another weird 21st Century thing, like "Go Gurt"? Auggh! You smell terrible, lady! Back off! No, don't touch me! Ew ew ew. That's it, I'm turning on my forcefield. I really should have taken that car commercial gig.
Poll Vote!
Character name: The Sixth Master
Series: Doctor Who
Age: Unknown, in the hundreds
Job: Surveyor of Future Projects
Canon: The Master is a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey, who is historically one of The Doctor's most infamous arch-nemesis. Their rivalry has spanned across time and space, with The Master almost always having his grandiose plans-which usually involved manipulation-foiled by The Doctor. Most recently, The Master hatched a sinister scheme which involved him hijacking the TARDIS (The Doctor's time machine), and successfully running for Prime Minister in the UK under the name "Harold Saxon"-only to doom mankind. "Vote Saxon" was a recurring reference in the third season of the current Doctor Who series, foreshadowing the season's finale with The Master. Note that "Mister Saxon" (as he was called early on) is also an anagram for "Master No. Six".
The character himself is often portrayed as a comic book-style villain, always coming up with big, spectacular plots and always being defeated in the end. Though that is the core of the character, each incarnation has a different style, as with the line actors who've played The Doctor. The current Master, played by John Simm, is more unpredictable and off-the-wall, when not trying to convince the voting public that he's good for their country.
Sample Post:
Is the mic on? Yes? Hello, everybody! My name is Harold Saxon. I was going to come here and give you all a speech about why you should allow me to join your ranks, but I think that would be a bit too boring. BORING! Let's cut to the chase, shall we?
I want in. You know it, I know it, otherwise I wouldn't be standing here in front of you. That said, I have not come to the table empty-handed; there are many things I have to offer. Strong leadership, a grand vision of the future, and the love for every man, woman, and child here, living or dead. ...Or undead.
But if there's one thing I love most, it's connecting with the young people. The smiles on their faces warm my hearts-heart. Sorry, heart. Young, eager minds, ready to absorb new information; information that I would gladly share with them. You could say that I'm a scholar, a mentor, an artist, a philosopher, a teacher, and heck, maybe even a Doctor. Shaping the minds of tomorrow, paving the road to the future, and all that lovely grammatical imagery.
Actually, that ended up sounding like a speech anyway. Whoops! Look at me standing on this soapbox; I get so passionate about how much I love this planet.
But, moving on! If I'm elected, I promise that everything I do will be for the better of the community. And a promise from Harold Saxon is a promise you can take to the bank! So remember, when you go to the polls, vote Saxon!
I think they ate that up. Ah, humans. They'll believe anything you tell them as long as there's a pretty picture to go along with it. So naive... though I think I might miss them when they're all gone. One thing I won't be missing is this disgusting swamp lan-
...what? I'm still on?
Oh, damn it.
Poll Vote!
Character: Lana Skye
Canon: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Age: 29
Job: Evidence Technician
Canon: Spoilers for the last case of the first game follow! Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney is the tale of an underdog defense lawyer who fights the good fight, defending a whole parade of colorful folks against seemingly irrefutable but inevitably untrue murder charges. One such client is Lana Skye, former police detective and current Chief Prosecutor for the district in which Phoenix lives--not your everyday murder suspect! And, in a further deviation from the norm, Lana makes it clear from her first meeting with Phoenix that she is, in fact, confessing to the crime of killing another detective, resulting in quite the uphill battle for the defense.
Throughout most of this seemingly impossible-to-win case, Lana comes across as a cold, rigid woman who is stoically resigned to her fate. But as things begin to unravel thanks to Phoenix's investigation of the murder and the conspiracy behind it--which Lana is a major part of, quite against her will--it becomes clear that Lana's aloof facade is a shield she uses to deal with the anguish of her situation. Behind that shield is a kind and caring woman who was known for treating her co-workers like family, and who went along with the conspiracy in order to protect her younger sister Ema from the fallout that would result from its exposure.
Unlike many of Phoenix's clients, Lana doesn't get off scott-free; she's acquitted of murder, but then imprisoned for tampering with evidence. Nonetheless, she finds redemption in the end, vowing to pay her debt to society and return to working in the justice system in some capacity.
Sample Post:
Whoever is responsible for this bizarre situation has a poor sense of humor, and an even poorer sense of legality. I refer not only to the fact that I, a convicted criminal, have been transported from my prison cell to this camp in Louisiana through...let us say inexplicable means, as I refuse to accept a rainbow tunnel with a sign above it reading "All Het Abandon, Ye Who Enter Here" as anything more than a hallucination of some kind--but also to this letter from the camp director I discovered upon my arrival. In brief, it outlines allegations of murder against this camp's...several hundred occupants, and states that their prosecutions have not been proceeding as planned, due to a general lack of evidence. It concludes by mandating that I "do something about that, since [I'm] such an expert." The implication is not lost on me; if the letter itself hadn't already made it obvious, the enormous sack full of bloodstained knives and smoking guns it was lying next to certainly would've hammered the point home.
I would argue that this plan, besides being illegal and unethical, is also completely insane; however, I very much doubt that reason would do much to sway someone who runs a camp such as this, as it is not the sort of environment that an even marginally sane mind could create. In the last ten minutes alone, I've witnessed three gorilla orgies, any one of which would have put Caligula's most depraved imaginings to shame. Said orgies also definitely left some decisive evidence of criminal activity behind, but I'm not about to collect it without gloves--no, make that a full hazmat suit. Furthermore, I have left my days of creating and using false evidence behind me. Nothing will sway me from that. ...I also feel I should mention that even if my principles were for sale, this invitation to one of the gorillas' "sexy parties" that I just found in the envelope of the letter I received would not be an effective way of buying them. All in all, this place is making me miss prison in a way I never thought possible.
But there's nothing to be done for that now. Allow me to introduce myself to you all, campers and counselors alike. My name is Lana Skye, and until such time as I am able to leave, I will be serving as the camp evidence technician. Please, bring me anything you believe might be physical evidence related to the murder case, no matter how trivial, no matter how...biohazardous. I will document and store it, so that we might assemble a body of information sufficient to create a clearer picture of what happened and, in the process, exonerate you all. The work will no doubt be risky--to my gag reflex, if nothing else--but it must be done, not just for your sakes, but so that the Director herself can face the truth as well. So, then, let us begin...ah, what's this? A potentially vital contribution already--a revolver! And it's even tagged. Let's see...
"...Used by Colonel Mustard in the library?" Oh, very funny.
Poll Vote!
Name: Mr. Cat
Series: Princess Tutu
Age: Unspecified, probably around 30 years old.
Job: Dance Instructor, Relationship/Marriage Counselor
Canon: Princess Tutu is the story about a deranged author wishing to compose the perfect tragedy and the cast of characters trying to prevent this set within a town where the characters of unfinished stories gather. Tucked within this town is a large dance academy. All the characters attend this academy as they pursue their dreams in the physical arts. But like the day cannot be without the sun and the night cannot be without a moon, a dance academy cannot be without an instructor. Indeed, the academy has a masterful instructor of dance, who has dedicated his life to the rhythms of the body and the instruction of the young and dull-minded. This comes as a great surprise to his students when they first meet him, however. For you see, he is a cat.
The cat, or Mr. Cat as he is called by his students, devotedly attends and trains his students with great compassion and vigor. Ever the romantic, he makes sure to leave his students inspired with grand speeches, but always ensures to point out his student’s shortcomings and failures. His female students also know that they need to do well to improve on his criticisms. For you see, failure to do so will result in a forced marriage with him! Fortunately, even his worst cases have never actually been forced into marriage. Regrettably, a committed relationship with another woman (that isn’t a sloth or a goat) has eluded Mr. Cat, which fills him with regret and despair. But not being married only ensures that Mr. Cat will be more devoted to his students and their performance! Really! Its not like he’s desperate…
Canon Note: The pas de deux is a ballet performed by two people.
Sample Entry:
Ahhh~ what an honor it is for me to have the privilege to be given the opportunity to teach at the illustrious. …illustrious… Kufud? Kehfood? Kaf’d? Ah yes! The illustrious Kafu’de! It must be French. Surely such a wonderful program with wonderful students that will doubtlessly delight and herald me with the grandest maneuvers in this world and the next! When I think of the wonderful en pointe performances and the graceful legs sailing majestically through the air, my heart swells with joy! Such a profession can only be the divine providence of the gods shining upon me! Clearly such a dancing academy would be splendid, and I will never again have to see the gangly steps of that Ahiru. Ah, dear child: such a caring heart but such terrible dancing.
Oh! Indeed? I am also assigned the duties of the relationship counselor? Splendid! I wholeheartedly agree and will commit myself to this task. For you see, a relationship, much like a perfect pas de deux, must find a proper balance, coordination and vigor if it is to be achieved! Yet, surely twice as many mistakes occur when there are two people to make them. With my guidance, the young people may understand their missteps and learn not to stand on their partner’s toes. Now if only I could find a woman that would admire my vigor, I may know of such things first hand… er, paw… prrr~
*ahem!* Of course, one such as myself would be delighted to administer to these fine positions to the best of my capacity. While perhaps a challenge for lesser men, with my knowledge and experience I will have no considerable issues with them. Now, shall we see the potential candidates?
…surely there must be a mistake. Oh my. In all my years, I have taught many challenging students. I have taught humans and sloths and alligators and have managed a… ah-ha-ha… a moderate improvement in these students that have come to me but this is like peering into bottomless pit of uselessness. Why, I hardly believe that they are alive! Their rickety movements and sickly shambling are nauseatingly pathetic. F-forgive me if I seem a bit at odds and repeating myself, but this comes as a bit of a shock. I-Indeed, upon reflection I understand that not all student are graced with the natural spark to dance, a-and as an instructor it is my sworn duty to ensure that your fullest potential comes to the floor. With this in mind, I know now I cannot give up on these poor souls. I have no doubt that in time your artistic endeavors will cause the dead to rise from the grave! Alright! Let’s begin with some stretching exercises! With the movements as I see them, you lot could use a little blood flowing in your veins! Therefore~
Kick! Down and up! Kick! Down and up! Kick…
…Miss Cadaver, I must ask you to refrain from losing your leg in the middle of class. Or else YOU WILL BE FORCED TO MARRY ME!!…
…that’s OK? Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-help. . !
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE! Closed!~
Character name: Ichihara Yuuko
Series: xxxHOLiC
Age: A lady never tells~ but she could pass for not-quite-thirty
Job: Overseer of Lost and Found Items
Canon: xxxHOLiC portrays the life of Watanuki Kimihiro. High school student, living alone, part-time job... what's so exciting about that? Add a little spirits, a touch of the arcane, and the frequent CLAMP character appearance, and you've got yourself a whole lot of "what the hell just happened". All Watanuki ever wanted was to not be bothered by every spirit (and its dead mom) he happens to come across. His life starts changing when he happens to stumble across a very special store...
Ichihara Yuuko, also known as The Far Eastern Witch, The Time-Space Witch, the Guess-How-Many-Other-Names-I-Have witch, is the owner of the aforementioned shop. Being a powerful sorceress able to cross both time and space, regular ol' demons and ghosts don't bother her. In fact, they bring in business. Fulfilling wishes and providing assistance to human and non-humans is what she does best. That is, as long as you pay the right price for it. The more a person wants something, the higher the price, and Yuuko is such a stickler when it comes to her payments.
As Yuuko-the-person, she's known to be rather eccentric, outrageous, and, well. Sadistic is a good word for it. Conning Watanuki into additional servitude, drinking all day and night, and requesting outlandish prices for her services, Yuuko actually has a purpose for her unconventionality. Playing a mentor-figure for Watanuki throughout the series, Yuuko teaches him about human nature while he completes the tasks she gives him. Understanding a person means understanding their sorrows, joy, and love. No wonder fulfilling a person's true wish is the hardest thing this witch can do.
Sample Entry:
My, what a place this is~ Madam Sayre's lingering emotions seem to have infested the surroundings, and the borders she created are quite impenetrable now. Just another victim trapped for her amusement, hm? We'll see about that. ♥ I have my own limits of interference to be careful of, but I can't let my dear Director have all the fun~ And it's evident that she would like to play from the invitation I received. Her request to fill a position is certainly interesting. I think I'll take her suggestion of "making myself at home" to heart.
That abandoned boat shack will do quite nicely for my shop's temporary residence. Easily accessible for those who need it and can see it, of no consequence to those who don't, and an exquisite view of the lakeside. There's hardly anything better than watching the mermaids try to make unsuspecting campers part of their world~ Their singing is quite lovely, too. Their rendition of Amazing Grace is certainly encouraging to Marcy-san who's always willing to lend a tentacle or two to find lost virginities. My services won't provide much help to them, I'm afraid. Those poor, unfortunate souls.
Perhaps I can send my delinquent employee to help them out. I certainly deserve some compensation for the time he's spent here and slacking off. Maybe I can send him out for this and that and ... Hm, enough of this chitchatting and idle musing. Down to business~
For those of you who don't know me, I am Ichihara Yuuko, and I'll be the new overseer of your all of your Lost and Found Items. From the wayward sock to the missing limb, I'll be in charge of tracking, gathering, and re-distributing the things which you've lost. Unfortunately, losing your mind doesn't fall under my domain. You'll just have to find the cause of that yourself~ If someone can't find what they're looking for, they can speak with me to arrange a trade. Yes, a trade. My services aren't free, you know. Everything has a price. I'm a businesswoman, after all, not a babysitter of your things. Just keep in mind that perhaps your items wanted to be lost in the first place~
If you have need of me, my shop can be found near the lake. If it looks a bit different from what you'd expect, it just means that maybe you and I have something special to trade. And for those campers who have been here for some time have lost the sensation of something crawling in their skin, don't worry. Some of the zombies have paid that price for you; the sensation should be returning shortly. ♥
And now that I've done my little bit of introducing myself, I can afford to relax~ Oh, Watanuki! Come tell Yuuko-chan what you've been doing while having fun without your employer~
Poll Vote!
Character: Sirius Black
Series: Harry Potter
Character Age: 36-7 (no official date of birth, but it's assumed)
Job: Professional Escape Instructor
Canon: Harry Potter is a simple story of a boy wizard with two dead parents charged with saving the wizarding and non-wizarding worlds from the same force of evil that did his parents in.
So where does Sirius Black fit into this equation you ask? Sirius is Harry's godfather, an escaped convict from the wizarding prison known as Azkaban where most inmates go completely off their rockers unless they can turn into a great big black dog and keep their sanity. Luckily, Sirius is quite capable of this. Also unlike most inmates, Sirius manages to escape, but then finds himself locked up once again in his parent's old home by the forces of good. Perhaps due to the fact that he was only in his early twenties when locked up, following his escape Sirius is as brash, adventurous, egotistical, outgoing, and flirtatious as he was in his youth. However, his time of suffering has considerably hardened him and given him something of a more rough vicious side, prone to outbursts of rage and restlessness.
Sample Post:
You know, I've recently realized that today's youth seems to have become much whinier and more annoying than the way kids behaved in my day. "Oh my summer was so horrible I got attacked by dark beasties!" Sounds like a fine challenge to me! "Oh my life is so agonizing my parents don't love me!" Bravo for originality, I'm sure I've done you one much better! "Oh please save me they've trapped me in a summer camp and the zombies are gnawing at my leg!" Hah! This place? A trap? You're making me laugh.
This camp's hardly like a prison at all! You've got zombies to split in two, vines to dodge, and I've heard the swimming's a grand adventure if you like your adrenaline running. A good sporting tussle with a tentacle monster's worlds better than an evening with a feather duster.
If I had my way, I'd be fine staying here for a good long time. No Dark Lords to worry about, no foul-smelling greasy gits for coworkers. But a job's a job. Miss Director even seems to appreciate my skills as an escape artist so much that she's promised me a very lovely reward for a job well done. Well, reward or no reward, it's still one better than the Order back home. I much prefer this setting to being boarded up in a crumbling house for months on end with nothing to do other than order around the off-his-rocker house elf who's always finding the perfect time to watch you fa-well. You kids don't need that sort of detail, do you? After all, plenty of space here without ceilings over all of it.
So then! Greetings boys and girls of Camp Fuck U Die! My name is Sirius Black and I'm to be your Professional Escape Instructor. If you're tired of this squalid hell hole of a swamp, worry no more! You may all be behind on your studies but at least I know a simple protective spell when I see one. Barrier? Child's play! I'll have this "barrier" gone faster than you can say-nnghk!
. . . that was certainly unexpected. The Director had mentioned something about nubile, buxom young women once I was done. But I was under the impression that the nubile, buxom young women would be a reward and not a punishment. Miss Director, you're quite a witch if you can transfigure me into a female, but really, this kind of thing-what is it the kids around here are saying-oh yes. My kind lady, these tits need to get the fuck out.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ted Kord, alias Blue Beetle
Series: DC Comics
Age: Early to mid 30s
Job: Public Service Announcer
Canon: Ted Kord was a favored student of Prof. Dan Garrett, the first Blue Beetle. Ted's mentor was killed while helping Ted stop his uncle from conquering the world, but not before Dan passed the hero legacy on to his young friend. He didn't, however, manage to pass on the mystical scarab that granted his superpowers. So now Ted doesn't have the power of flight, or super strength, or laser eyes, but he's smart and he's really good at kicking people in the face. And, by golly, that and a pair of tights is enough to get on the Justice League! Occasional battles to keep his weight under control and a vaguely defined heart condition don't keep him from helping to save the world, even if helping is sometimes just boring monitor duty.
Ted's inventing and detective skills could rival Batman's, but you'd never guess it from his constant wisecracks and gift at playing the buffoon. Because constantly updating and repairing his fancy gadgets and gear can put quite a dent in his savings account, Ted sometimes gets involved in undignified money making schemes. Don't worry; he didn't have much dignity to begin with. Just because he's old enough to have a heart condition doesn't necessarily mean he's mature enough to always act his age. His mouth and silly antics may get him in plenty of trouble, but behind his joking exterior is a normal guy (with a heart condition) who honestly just wants to help the world and works hard to do it. And did I mention the heart condition? Because he will.
Sample Post:
Help the community, Beetle! It's for the children, Beetle! At least it's not monitor duty again, Beetle! I'll tell you this, Superman would never get suckered into one of these promo tours, and the kids would respect him. All I'm getting is smart mouths making fun of my goggles and pointing out my girdle line. If I wanted that, I could have stayed at League Headquarters! Just hope the appearance fee covers the cost of my dignity. Alright, here goes nothing except the last shred of my pride.
Ahem. … Ah-h-hem. … HEY! LISTEN UP WHEN A SUPERHERO'S TALKING TO YOU! Geez, isn't the colorful spandex supposed to draw attention? There, that's much better.
Hi there, kiddies! I'm the Blue Beetle and I'm going to talk to you about taking care of your body! Do you find yourself feeling listless or tired often? Do you get cranky with your cabinmates after a nice day of escaping the local wildlife? Don't worry; there's a way to fix all that. Those are the effects of bad diet and exercise habits. But don't despair, children! Uncle Beetle has some handy trips and tricks to get you all in top shape!
For example, if your mind is healthy, your body will be healthy, too. Start eating more "brain foods" like fish and grains. If you're in a rush, or just scared of whatever might come out of that lake, fishsticks work just fine. They've got more fat than a boring ol' filet, which helps keep your brain tender and traps in the succulent flavors of - wait, what? Who wrote this? Listen, if you think you can scare me off just by messing with my cue cards, you're in for a surprise. I've got pages of this stuff and I'm getting paid by the word. If I've got to listen to the crap coming out of my mouth then, by golly, so do all of you!
After refreshing your mind, rejuvenate your body. As a superhero, I know how just how tense constant life or death situations can make a person. Make time to relax. Soak in a nice, hot bath of herbs and spices every day. You can even bring veggies in with you for a snack. If you're the new-age type, some aromatherapy might be just for you. Teriyaki sauce for stress relief, balsamic vinaigrette for a quick energy boost, and always be sure to add a dash of meat tenderizer to help those muscles relax. This is a joke, right? I mean, everybody knows that teriyaki is a confidence enhancing scent. -- Oh, right. Speaking of muscles, those rippling abs of steel and bulging biceps won't help you catch that certain someone's eye if you're so uptight you look constipated all the time. In fact, it could do you some good to cut back on the exercise, and don't worry about gaining some pudge. Think of it as a layer of protective coating! And in a swampy area, those extra pounds might come in handy as an emergency flotation device.
Okay, okay, that is enough. You just snuck that last part in there to make fun of me, didn't you? Well, let me tell you, it's not appreciated. I've got a heart condition, you know! That makes it a little difficult to keep up the old exercise routines, and the last thing I need is grief about it! No, I won't take a stupid warm marinara dip to calm my nerves! Keep your big paycheck, as soon as I do my ending bit, I'm out of here.
This public service announcement was brought to you by Blue Beetle, hero extraordinaire, and the Committee For Undead Dieticians for Better Eating. ... Okay, now I know somebody messed with my cue cards because that can't possibly be League-sanctioned.
Poll Vote!
Character: Michael Jon Carter, AKA Booster Gold
Series: DC Comics
Age: Early 30s
Job: Head Cheerleading Coach
Canon: Michael Jon Carter was caught betting on his own football games when he was the star quarterback for Gotham University in the year 2462. He'll try to tell you that it was for a good reason, yadda yadda, but it all boils down to the fact that from that day forward, Michael's image was completely ruined...in the future, that is. In the present, however, no one had even heard of him! So Michael once again (but certainly not for the last time) took advantage of his position. As a rent-a-cop at a history museum, Michael stole a flight ring and a forcefield belt and set out to use the antique time machine to go back to the 20th century. Using his often incomplete and incorrect knowledge of the 20th century, Michael attempted to rocket himself to super stardom, becoming a superhero and adopting the moniker Booster Gold! Booster became the hot superhero. Everyone got jealous and he had fanclubs and movie deals and at least four Swedish models around him at all times. And he lived happily ever after.
Well, that's what the replays are like in Booster's head. In reality, Booster gave a few bad interviews, got chastised a few times by Superman (apparently being fame-hungry isn't conducive to Good Samaritan laws) and was down on his luck when he got the offer of a lifetime: the Justice League! Booster Gold tends to find himself at odds with the League's Ethics Committee, whether it's because of his constant, hopeless flirting, his many get-rich-quick schemes and celebrity endorsements, or his gold digging marriage to a much older woman. Booster is a complete idiot sometimes, (okay, all the time,) but he really does mean well. Especially if meaning well gives him a nice, fat paycheck.
Sample Post
Oh, hi there! Hey, I was wondering if you could help me. I'm Booster. You know, Booster Gold?...You don't know? Really? Well, I mean, I guess I'll forgive, considering how far in the middle of nowhere we are, but trust me, in a few days, you'll know. Normally I wouldn't be so far out away from, ah, "modern" amenities, but I was just getting so sick of all of the screaming fangirls, Hollywood parties and ridiculously lucrative movie deals. A man needs to reconnect with the Earth, right? Plus, I mean, it didn't hurt that they offered me a position as the cheerleading coach. They couldn't really offer me as much money as I'm used to, but I think the job will be its "own reward". Honestly, I was a natural for the position, anyway! Who knows cheerleaders better than the greatest quarterback of the 25th Century? I think I can really help this team out and lead them to a few Interplanetary Competitions. It'll be a piece of cake, really. I'll be able to coach the girls on their, um...form and...cheerleaderocity. That is too a word! That's a special, er, 25th Century word!
So! I'm thinking my first order of business will be to organize try-outs. Okay, ladies, get in a group! Wow. Uhh, are you all feeling alright? Because you look collectively...er...green. Remind me not to drink the water...
Alright! So let's see some of that cheerleaderocity! Preferably, you know, back flips, pyramids, whatever you've got. You know, I haven't heard of the "UNNNNHH" football team before, but that is a particularly interesting cheer. Oh. OH. I don't think arms are supposed to come off that easily! Um...You...go ahead and pick those up, okay? We can't just have body parts laying around. You know what? Let's try something new. How about a pyramid, those look easy enough! I'll just spot you ladies back here and you just climb right up there. Well, at least the view from behind the pyramid won't be so ba-AHH!!
I...I was SO WRONG. Get down! Get down from the pyramid! There are things a man can't unsee, and whatever is under those skirts is certainly among them. Ewwwww...Okay, first of all ladies, new rule: You must always cover yourself appropriately! Wear the right clothes (or underclothes, as the case may be)! Especially if you're greenish. This...this is just not natural. I mean, I should know, I am Booster Gold. Secondly, you really should be able to hold a pyramid without losing your hands and knees. If I have to deal with loose body parts, I'm expecting double, you hear me? Hey, are you even listening? Don't ignore me! I only let people I like ignore me! And don't interr-- What is this "BRAAA YAINS" you keep talking about? Is this another weird 21st Century thing, like "Go Gurt"? Auggh! You smell terrible, lady! Back off! No, don't touch me! Ew ew ew. That's it, I'm turning on my forcefield. I really should have taken that car commercial gig.
Poll Vote!
Character name: The Sixth Master
Series: Doctor Who
Age: Unknown, in the hundreds
Job: Surveyor of Future Projects
Canon: The Master is a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey, who is historically one of The Doctor's most infamous arch-nemesis. Their rivalry has spanned across time and space, with The Master almost always having his grandiose plans-which usually involved manipulation-foiled by The Doctor. Most recently, The Master hatched a sinister scheme which involved him hijacking the TARDIS (The Doctor's time machine), and successfully running for Prime Minister in the UK under the name "Harold Saxon"-only to doom mankind. "Vote Saxon" was a recurring reference in the third season of the current Doctor Who series, foreshadowing the season's finale with The Master. Note that "Mister Saxon" (as he was called early on) is also an anagram for "Master No. Six".
The character himself is often portrayed as a comic book-style villain, always coming up with big, spectacular plots and always being defeated in the end. Though that is the core of the character, each incarnation has a different style, as with the line actors who've played The Doctor. The current Master, played by John Simm, is more unpredictable and off-the-wall, when not trying to convince the voting public that he's good for their country.
Sample Post:
Is the mic on? Yes? Hello, everybody! My name is Harold Saxon. I was going to come here and give you all a speech about why you should allow me to join your ranks, but I think that would be a bit too boring. BORING! Let's cut to the chase, shall we?
I want in. You know it, I know it, otherwise I wouldn't be standing here in front of you. That said, I have not come to the table empty-handed; there are many things I have to offer. Strong leadership, a grand vision of the future, and the love for every man, woman, and child here, living or dead. ...Or undead.
But if there's one thing I love most, it's connecting with the young people. The smiles on their faces warm my hearts-heart. Sorry, heart. Young, eager minds, ready to absorb new information; information that I would gladly share with them. You could say that I'm a scholar, a mentor, an artist, a philosopher, a teacher, and heck, maybe even a Doctor. Shaping the minds of tomorrow, paving the road to the future, and all that lovely grammatical imagery.
Actually, that ended up sounding like a speech anyway. Whoops! Look at me standing on this soapbox; I get so passionate about how much I love this planet.
But, moving on! If I'm elected, I promise that everything I do will be for the better of the community. And a promise from Harold Saxon is a promise you can take to the bank! So remember, when you go to the polls, vote Saxon!
I think they ate that up. Ah, humans. They'll believe anything you tell them as long as there's a pretty picture to go along with it. So naive... though I think I might miss them when they're all gone. One thing I won't be missing is this disgusting swamp lan-
...what? I'm still on?
Oh, damn it.
Poll Vote!
Character: Lana Skye
Canon: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Age: 29
Job: Evidence Technician
Canon: Spoilers for the last case of the first game follow! Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney is the tale of an underdog defense lawyer who fights the good fight, defending a whole parade of colorful folks against seemingly irrefutable but inevitably untrue murder charges. One such client is Lana Skye, former police detective and current Chief Prosecutor for the district in which Phoenix lives--not your everyday murder suspect! And, in a further deviation from the norm, Lana makes it clear from her first meeting with Phoenix that she is, in fact, confessing to the crime of killing another detective, resulting in quite the uphill battle for the defense.
Throughout most of this seemingly impossible-to-win case, Lana comes across as a cold, rigid woman who is stoically resigned to her fate. But as things begin to unravel thanks to Phoenix's investigation of the murder and the conspiracy behind it--which Lana is a major part of, quite against her will--it becomes clear that Lana's aloof facade is a shield she uses to deal with the anguish of her situation. Behind that shield is a kind and caring woman who was known for treating her co-workers like family, and who went along with the conspiracy in order to protect her younger sister Ema from the fallout that would result from its exposure.
Unlike many of Phoenix's clients, Lana doesn't get off scott-free; she's acquitted of murder, but then imprisoned for tampering with evidence. Nonetheless, she finds redemption in the end, vowing to pay her debt to society and return to working in the justice system in some capacity.
Sample Post:
Whoever is responsible for this bizarre situation has a poor sense of humor, and an even poorer sense of legality. I refer not only to the fact that I, a convicted criminal, have been transported from my prison cell to this camp in Louisiana through...let us say inexplicable means, as I refuse to accept a rainbow tunnel with a sign above it reading "All Het Abandon, Ye Who Enter Here" as anything more than a hallucination of some kind--but also to this letter from the camp director I discovered upon my arrival. In brief, it outlines allegations of murder against this camp's...several hundred occupants, and states that their prosecutions have not been proceeding as planned, due to a general lack of evidence. It concludes by mandating that I "do something about that, since [I'm] such an expert." The implication is not lost on me; if the letter itself hadn't already made it obvious, the enormous sack full of bloodstained knives and smoking guns it was lying next to certainly would've hammered the point home.
I would argue that this plan, besides being illegal and unethical, is also completely insane; however, I very much doubt that reason would do much to sway someone who runs a camp such as this, as it is not the sort of environment that an even marginally sane mind could create. In the last ten minutes alone, I've witnessed three gorilla orgies, any one of which would have put Caligula's most depraved imaginings to shame. Said orgies also definitely left some decisive evidence of criminal activity behind, but I'm not about to collect it without gloves--no, make that a full hazmat suit. Furthermore, I have left my days of creating and using false evidence behind me. Nothing will sway me from that. ...I also feel I should mention that even if my principles were for sale, this invitation to one of the gorillas' "sexy parties" that I just found in the envelope of the letter I received would not be an effective way of buying them. All in all, this place is making me miss prison in a way I never thought possible.
But there's nothing to be done for that now. Allow me to introduce myself to you all, campers and counselors alike. My name is Lana Skye, and until such time as I am able to leave, I will be serving as the camp evidence technician. Please, bring me anything you believe might be physical evidence related to the murder case, no matter how trivial, no matter how...biohazardous. I will document and store it, so that we might assemble a body of information sufficient to create a clearer picture of what happened and, in the process, exonerate you all. The work will no doubt be risky--to my gag reflex, if nothing else--but it must be done, not just for your sakes, but so that the Director herself can face the truth as well. So, then, let us begin...ah, what's this? A potentially vital contribution already--a revolver! And it's even tagged. Let's see...
"...Used by Colonel Mustard in the library?" Oh, very funny.
Poll Vote!
Name: Mr. Cat
Series: Princess Tutu
Age: Unspecified, probably around 30 years old.
Job: Dance Instructor, Relationship/Marriage Counselor
Canon: Princess Tutu is the story about a deranged author wishing to compose the perfect tragedy and the cast of characters trying to prevent this set within a town where the characters of unfinished stories gather. Tucked within this town is a large dance academy. All the characters attend this academy as they pursue their dreams in the physical arts. But like the day cannot be without the sun and the night cannot be without a moon, a dance academy cannot be without an instructor. Indeed, the academy has a masterful instructor of dance, who has dedicated his life to the rhythms of the body and the instruction of the young and dull-minded. This comes as a great surprise to his students when they first meet him, however. For you see, he is a cat.
The cat, or Mr. Cat as he is called by his students, devotedly attends and trains his students with great compassion and vigor. Ever the romantic, he makes sure to leave his students inspired with grand speeches, but always ensures to point out his student’s shortcomings and failures. His female students also know that they need to do well to improve on his criticisms. For you see, failure to do so will result in a forced marriage with him! Fortunately, even his worst cases have never actually been forced into marriage. Regrettably, a committed relationship with another woman (that isn’t a sloth or a goat) has eluded Mr. Cat, which fills him with regret and despair. But not being married only ensures that Mr. Cat will be more devoted to his students and their performance! Really! Its not like he’s desperate…
Canon Note: The pas de deux is a ballet performed by two people.
Sample Entry:
Ahhh~ what an honor it is for me to have the privilege to be given the opportunity to teach at the illustrious. …illustrious… Kufud? Kehfood? Kaf’d? Ah yes! The illustrious Kafu’de! It must be French. Surely such a wonderful program with wonderful students that will doubtlessly delight and herald me with the grandest maneuvers in this world and the next! When I think of the wonderful en pointe performances and the graceful legs sailing majestically through the air, my heart swells with joy! Such a profession can only be the divine providence of the gods shining upon me! Clearly such a dancing academy would be splendid, and I will never again have to see the gangly steps of that Ahiru. Ah, dear child: such a caring heart but such terrible dancing.
Oh! Indeed? I am also assigned the duties of the relationship counselor? Splendid! I wholeheartedly agree and will commit myself to this task. For you see, a relationship, much like a perfect pas de deux, must find a proper balance, coordination and vigor if it is to be achieved! Yet, surely twice as many mistakes occur when there are two people to make them. With my guidance, the young people may understand their missteps and learn not to stand on their partner’s toes. Now if only I could find a woman that would admire my vigor, I may know of such things first hand… er, paw… prrr~
*ahem!* Of course, one such as myself would be delighted to administer to these fine positions to the best of my capacity. While perhaps a challenge for lesser men, with my knowledge and experience I will have no considerable issues with them. Now, shall we see the potential candidates?
…surely there must be a mistake. Oh my. In all my years, I have taught many challenging students. I have taught humans and sloths and alligators and have managed a… ah-ha-ha… a moderate improvement in these students that have come to me but this is like peering into bottomless pit of uselessness. Why, I hardly believe that they are alive! Their rickety movements and sickly shambling are nauseatingly pathetic. F-forgive me if I seem a bit at odds and repeating myself, but this comes as a bit of a shock. I-Indeed, upon reflection I understand that not all student are graced with the natural spark to dance, a-and as an instructor it is my sworn duty to ensure that your fullest potential comes to the floor. With this in mind, I know now I cannot give up on these poor souls. I have no doubt that in time your artistic endeavors will cause the dead to rise from the grave! Alright! Let’s begin with some stretching exercises! With the movements as I see them, you lot could use a little blood flowing in your veins! Therefore~
Kick! Down and up! Kick! Down and up! Kick…
…Miss Cadaver, I must ask you to refrain from losing your leg in the middle of class. Or else YOU WILL BE FORCED TO MARRY ME!!…
…that’s OK? Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-help. . !
Poll Vote!