(no subject)
Dananananana V...v....vootiinngg!! FIRST ROUND
Apps are still open for another six hours. But here are the FIRST APPLICANTS, everybody check 'em out!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE! KERCLOSED
Character: Otomiya Haine
Series: Shinshi Doumei Cross/The Gentleman's Alliance
Character Age: 16
Canon: We're all familiar with student councils. They organize school events, act as leaders and examples for other students, and in this case, have one extremely handsome yet terminally-grumpy leader called Touguu Shizumasa. And for every extremely handsome guy, there's always a love interest not far behind him! Our story beings with one such girl. Meet Otomiya Haine, ex-delinquent and newest addition to the student council, occupying the role of Shizumasa's personal bodyguard. She may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but as she figures it, you don't need brains to fight bad guys! Just spirit! And she's got plenty of that.
Haine herself is an energetic, optimistic girl, with one mission only: to capture her beloved Shizumasa's heart! There's only one slight problem with that-- he hates her. But Haine is not the type of girl who gives up easily. And so with a combination of courage and sincerity, she determinedly sets out to befriend her life-long crush in her typically naive fashion. And if she's lucky, possibly solve the mystery behind his seemingly bi-polar personality, too. It doesn't matter to Haine if this creates more problems for her than it solves-- she's vowed to work her way out of every bad situation with her anger, after all! ... And by anger, she really means effort. But don't hold her tendency to mix up words against her, she can hardly help being slightly stupid. It's just another part of her unconscious shoujo heroine charm.
Sample Post:
All right Haine, do your best! You've been given a job to do and you're going to do it to the best of your ability! Mission "Scout the Area for Possible Dangers", COMMENCE. Upon my honor as a student council member, I'll search high and low and in between! Now I just need some "possible dangers" to come along so I can scout them! Like an alien invader from outer space, or an evil ogre, or a giant tentacle monster, or I'd even settle for something boring like a vampire or a zombie! Then I'd really have something to report! Gone will be the days when everyone always blames the delinquent! Like when dinosaurs spontaneously combust due to an explosion of fifty plutonium dynamite sticks causing their extinction, and Santa invades the South Pole using cardboard box tops for snowboards, and pigs start learning how to fly in sugar based air crafts so they can take over America! Why, even those purple gorillas over there that seem to be carrying people away on their backs and make me think I'm hallucinating because everyone knows gorillas can't be purple... of course it's all the delinquent's fault!
Besides, it's not like I haven't said before that I quit that gang stuff already! Is it really such a bad thing that people won't believe me even when I've changed my ways? I mean, even before I quit, I was a good delinquent! Honestly, if there were something outrageous here I could save the world from, it'd clear the name of former delinquents everywhere! And then I could be a happy bride ♥.
... Or so I wish. It's not like aliens and vampires and those things really exist, right, Man In A Zombie Costume Who Just Suddenly Appeared-san? Hmmm, no, that title really is a little too long. How about "Actor-san"? Or "Grargh-san", if you really want to get in character! Ehehe! But you can put the bloody axe prop away, it's not like we're on camera here or anything. Or are we? Oh no, Haine what have you accidentally stumbled into? What if this is some kind of new reality TV show? No way-- it can't be! The world isn't ready to see my face on TV yet! I've got too much body fat!! I don't want to be another scandalous newspaper headline...!
Wait wait, calm down, Haine! Let's think about this logically. Yes, logically, that's what a calm person would do! And you know how they say calm people are always best for problem solving in a problem situation! Logically speaking, if you were on television, there'd be cameras filming us, right? So if I find the cameras and destroy them-- oh... hey! I don't see any cameras around! Ahahaha. So I guess we're not TV after all! See? Being calm really does help! Crisis averted. And the victory goes to Haine! But wait, if Grargh-san isn't an actor, then why the axe...?
AHHH! I was warned about people like you! You! You must be... a CEREAL KILLER!
Poll Vote!
Character: Fuuma
Series: Tsubasa -RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE-
Character Age: No canon age is given, but looks to be about 18 - 21.
Canon: Tsubasa is CLAMP's Ultimate Crossover of Ultimate Destiny. It follows the story of a young girl; her memories have been scattered across several worlds in the form of feathers, and she, along with her band of merry men (and meatbun) are on a journey to get them back. Along the way, they come across many faces familiar both to them and to the readers who have followed CLAMP's work over the years. One of these said familiar faces is Fuuma.
Originally from X/1999, Fuuma is now a few years older, less bent on destroying the world and a whole lot less crazy (...we think. At least he hasn't gouged any eyes out yet). He's also a very cheerful person, always with a smile on his face no matter what the situation. His seemingly rather carefree attitude hides his keen insight and the fact that he's pretty damn powerful. Relatively calm in the face of danger and also a bit of a sly, secretive bastard, Fuuma has a bad habit of teasing those he's taken an interest in. He's a pretty nice, polite guy, though, and he seems to genuinely care about the people close to him. ...Oh, and did I mention he's Yuuko's bitchboy? Because he is. In order to gain the power to travel across to different worlds, Fumma pays Yuuko installments by running interdimensional errands for her. Need to send an object across time and space that's relative to Yuuko's interests? Fuuma's there to see that it gets delivered safely.
Note: Yuuko has been mentioned with permission from the player.
Sample Post:
You know, out of all the worlds I've been to, this one certainly smells the worst. And that's really saying something. One of the places I was staying at rained acid. Acid! Do you have any idea how bad acid-burned anything smells? ...Well, I suppose some of you would know seeing as how quite a few of you are looking a bit like...you've played in acid rain yourselves! Which is fine if that's what you want to do, but just remember. It's all fun and games until someone gets an appendage melted off, all right?
Allow me to get to the point, though. The reason why I've come here is that I'm looking for an object I'm supposed to collect for someone and from what I've seen so far, this place is big. That's why I need every mostly able-bodied man, zombie, whatever to help me out. Now I need all of you to pair up into groups of two. That way each group will get at least one pair of eyes and ears, or...at least one eye and one ear depending on your state of decay. ...OK, it looks like everyone's good to go so here's the deal. The person you're going to want to find goes by the name of Master Beyshun. Haha, yes. I know it's a funny name, but you don't want to insult the client by laughing in their face about it. At least wait until after you've collected the item. Speaking of which, this is a picture of what we're looking for. It's a Hello Kitty vibrator. It's pink, has four speeds and is ribbed for your pleasure. And by "your," I don't mean anyone here. No offense, but please don't use it. I need it in one piece and preferably clean, thanks. ♥
...
Haaah, well. That should keep them occupied for at least a few minutes. Hopefully by then, they'll forget they were trying to eat me and go back to eating each other. It's not that I have a problem with the cannibal thing really, but I can't afford to be someone else's dinner right now. I wasn't even supposed to run into anything in the first place. Just a quick job. In and out. No problems. But, I suppose things never go just as planned. It's not like I could actually get the payment to Yuuko-san anyway with that barrier here. Ah well. That's life, right? I'm sure she'll understand. Nothing happens by chance, after all.
--Hey, you guys sure came back quick. You were able to find it, then? That's excellent! Where is it? ...Come on, don't give me that look. I promise I won't bite. ...Wait, is something wrong with your friend? He's bending over like he's going to-- haha wow, that's certainly something I didn't think I'd ever see ever.
Poll Vote!
Character: Margaret "Molly" Katherine Amanda Carpenter
Series: The Dresden Files (books)
Character Age: 19
Canon: [Mid-series spoiler warning!] Molly is about as normal a teenage girl as you can expect from someone whose father works as the fist of god. That is, when she was 16 she manifested the ability to perform magic, demonstrating a talent for the more subtle spells--including one that drilled holes in the psyche of her ex-boyfriend and drove him insane. Harry Dresden, long-time family friend and Chicago's only professional wizard, saved her from being beheaded by the White Council for this crime by taking her as his apprentice.
Molly is just starting to come out of a long rebellious streak that started out as a simple rebellion against a rather controlling mother. Stemming from her issues with authority came a desire to break social taboos--everything from drugs and tattoos to giving sex advice. Yet overall, she's just a inexperienced, mischievous girl prone to the same pop culture references and wisecracking jokes as her teacher. She's also known for lapses of poor judgment and a Gothic fashion sense. Molly has the potential to do great things--but has to do a lot of growing up before she can, because one slip-up can mean death for both her AND Harry.
Sample Post: Last I'd heard, Harry was off to fight some kind of super-corpses. His usual dangerous stuff--you know, the kind of stuff my overprotective mom wouldn't even want me to be in the same country as. So I did the sensible thing: I did my homework, got my toothbrush and hitchhiked my way to Louisiana. But instead of super-corpses, I found the chess club of zombies. You could tell because instead of wearing tights and leaping cabins in a single bound, they were shambling around a library and oozing something gross. Go go gadget deodorant, please.
But still, zombies are zombies. And I know they're bad news. I don't automatically fall in with a bad crowd everywhere I go. No matter what my mom says. I figured I should stick with what I knew, so I followed all the classic horror movie rules. I stayed in well-lit areas, I didn't go investigate the strange sounds in the dark corners, and I didn't even make out with anyone. Not that there's anyone to make out with. They didn't catch me until I had to go to the bathroom, and...you know what? Let's skip ahead to the getting-caught part.
When that thing jumped me, it was like being the caught by the Six Million Dollar Zombie, except not a single penny of it made it into his fashion budget. He was seriously a lot tougher than he looked. And he looked ready to fall apart like the off-brand paper towel in a Bounty paper towel commercial. I've been pressed up against bathroom walls by boys with worse breath, but I'm still going to have to put this zombie pretty high up on that list. I couldn't hide from it, and I couldn't fight it. That left my options with talking my way out of trouble, or screaming. And hey, I could always try the second one if the talking didn't work.
So I told him: Here's the thing--you aren't being noticed by the lady zombies because there's no reason for them to notice you. Sure, everyone says they're looking for someone with brains, and your looks don't matter. But that's a bigger lie than the Easter Bunny. Your looks suggest certain things to people when they're deciding who you are. Even if they don't mean to. So you just need to make sure your look is suggesting the right things. And let me tell you, some properly placed piercings can be pretty suggestive. It doesn't matter what you are--man, woman, or tentacle monster, if it dangles it can be used for fun time. I know that in the condition you're in, you've got a lot that dangles, but what you want to do is get metal in every bit of it. If you can manage to catch me again, you'll thank me later.
...And I'm pretty sure he only listened to half of what I said, because when I was done, he went off to get a brain piercing. Nobody gets their brain pierced! Brains shouldn't even dangle. This is common sense, people.
Poll Vote!
Character: Sohryu Asuka Langley
Series: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Character Age: 14
Canon: In the year 2015, mankind has come back from the brink of the Second Impact, a catastrophe that wiped out half the world's population. Now the beings that caused the Second Impact, Angels, have descended on the city of Tokyo-3. The only thing that stands between humanity and the Angels is the special organization NERV and its giant humanoid weapons: the Evangelions. The hero of our story and pilot of Evangelion Unit 01, Ikari Shinji, must survive battles both on the massive and personal level as he fights to save Tokyo-3 from destruction and to find a place for himself. To make matters worse, he also has to survive Sohryu Asuka Langley.
As the pilot of Unit 02, Asuka's skill is impressive, as is her sense of pride. She's quite vocal about how amazing she and her Eva are, and heaven help anyone who disagrees with her. Despite all her talent and intelligence - a university graduate at 14 - Asuka is quite capable of, well, being a petty loudmouthed jerk. She constantly berates Shinji, either for being inferior or showing her up, and has a very domineering attitude towards both him and fellow pilot Rei. On the flip side, she can adore and charm her schoolmates or the man she crushes on. Asuka has her share of problems, like any good Eva pilot, but she prefers to bury them under confidence and bravado. Basically, if you're not on Asuka's side, it'd be best to get out of her way before she kicks you in the face. Because it'll hurt a lot.
Sample Post:
This is pathetic! I knew the facilities in America were sub-par but this is way below UN standards. This has got to be breaking about thirty health codes, and that's just the welcome sign! What is that smeared all over it? There's even a paintbrush and little bottle full of it too… gross. It doesn't stink as much as the sign though. "Camp Fuck You Die: Ask us about our insurance policy! That's always a laugh." That's not funny, it's just immature. I expect better of a training camp.
Maybe NERV sends their normal staff here for training but a pilot deserves better than this. What am I meant to train with anyway, those stupid shotguns they were handing out at the gate? How degrading. Maybe those are fit for the gorillas roaming around, but not for me. I thought maybe this was my chance to show how adaptable I am in unknown situations, but I can't work in these conditions. The map they gave me to get to camp lead me through two swamps, three caves and a quicksand pit before I even found the buildings. It's the worst moment in my life if I have to choose between getting sucked into quicksand and letting some perverted vine pull me out. I hope it enjoys its new life as a knot around a tree for that; I think it's a fair price for getting up my skirt.
I'd feel a lot better about this place if it wasn't full of lechs. It's obvious that you all go on panty raids when you hang them on a tree to show off! Honestly, boys. Those sick ones are even worse. I don't care if you're missing an eye or an arm, that's no excuse for missing your pants. I didn't need to know what they looked like down there, all shriveled and dirty and - ugh. You all need some serious education on sexual harassment, because as a woman, I'm feeling harassed just looking at you. No, don't try to appeal to my brains, you're not worth my time! Go talk to whoever directs this place.
In fact, I'd like to talk to them myself. As a representative of NERV, it's practically my duty to make this place fit for use again. For one thing, no more of this wilderness survival crap. This is the 21st century and no one needs to know how to navigate through the woods. Not that I had any trouble with it, and those fake screams and howls were really tacky. And since I've visually confirmed what those goats were doing behind the Mess Hall, I'm telling you to get them desexed. I'll never be clean again… my innocence ruined… that is not what 'horny' should mean! Who needs all these wild animals around anyway? If the Director likes the idea of a zoo she could at least put some cages in. You could even teach some of those perverts a lesson by putting them behind bars.
As for the rest of you! I'm Sohryu Asuka Langley, and it's a pleasure to meet you all. I'm sure we'll get along great. ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: Kizna Towryk
Series: Candidate for Goddess (Pilot Candidate)
Character Age: 15
Canon: Candidate for Goddess is a wonderful tale of mystery, romance, and science fiction, but there's only thing you need to know about it: Boys want to pilot giant female mecha to fight seafood aliens. As they rigorously train to become selected as pilots, girls work alongside them as Repairer Candidates, dedicated to helping them on the training field and taking care of their training-wheel mechas, the PRO-INGs.
Kizna Towryk is one such repairer, partnered with a hopeless example of shounen retardism at its best, Zero Enna. When she was denied a position as a candidate because of her body, she became a repairer to push her partner forward with all her might so she could still chase after her dream. Kizna is a strong, straightforward girl with enough determination for five people, instead of just two. Brash and tenacious, she's rather like a female Zero with a brain that compensates for his lack of one. With speech better suited for a boy, Kizna is one who always speaks her mind without hesitation, whether chiding her instructor or helping her friends with personal problems. While she has surplus strength in mind, body, and will, the pair of cat/fox ears she got after a childhood accident causes her to be nervous about her appearance at times. However underneath all of her intensity, Kizna is a warm, playful, and compassionate woman, not a tomboy or a catgirl as much as the screaming matches or mannerisms would have you think. ...Really.
Sample App:
This is Repairer Candidate 88, Kizna Towryk, requesting to know who thought to activate the cheesy porn film simulation while I'm still in here?! You can cut the mood music right now, mister. I'm not going to tell you twice, I'm not taking anything off no matter how hot you make it in here. And if that gorilla with the fuzzy handcuffs doesn't step away from me right now, I'm going to erase it and the OS it came from. Do you hear me? Well?! ...Is anyone there? Anyone? Come on, I know you can hear me! I can hear moaning on the com link! Seriously, grow up, you perverts.
Ugh, boys! That's it! I'm reporting them to the instructor after I show them what these five fingers have to say to their face. Maybe the other five too! They should know better than to play around with equipment like this. It's not like they know how to handle a tool or a hyper-reactive ribbed thermal pipe. -Or maybe they do, since the abort for the simulation isn't working. They still can't handle a ribbed thermal pipe though! I guess I'll just have to figure out a way to override the system from here.
Okay, could you stop jingling that bell? And the next time one of these smelly monkeys comes near me with anything other than an eject button, I'm going to make sure you lose so many points, it'll make your whole colony spin!! Okay, come on, Kizna! Cool down. I'm just doing what they want-- Alright, not exactly, but still! I'm not going to play their game anymore. I can deal with anything they throw at me; I'm not going to let them enjoy this stupid grade school prank anymore! I'm just going to work on getting out of here as soon as I can, then pay them back! If I can handle having my nose broken and a clipboard to the face, I can put up with virtual balls of yarn and tacky collars with bells for a little while. The one with the rhinestones looks kind of nice though... No! I can and will wait out these guys for however long it takes to find a way out or help comes. It can't take Zero that long to notice I'm gone, right?
Oh, who am I kidding? I'm going to be stuck here for hours until that idiot gets hit for me not being at class. I hope the instructor gets him right in the back of the hea-- Ow!! Hey! When I said I could handle anything you throw at me that didn't mean start throwing cat tails at the back of my head! Jerks. I get the idea already, but it's not like I'm a cat or something! So what's with all the teasing? It's really mean! People shouldn't tease others about what they look like. It's just like how I'm not saying this AI of this big, hairy purple monkey is probably what these jerks really look like. Just that there might be a big resemblance if you ask me. But you can seriously get rid of these apes anytime now. They're getting just a little too close for comfort! You can leave the chocolate though. It's a good start to a big apology that better be followed up with a way out of here alre--
Excuse me!! But I am not taking a swing in anyone's jungle! You can cut the sex kitten talk right ther-- What does losing my ears have to do with anything?!
Poll Vote!
Character: Aki Mikage
Series: Ayashi no Ceres
Character Age: 18 (at the end of the series)
Canon: On her sixteenth birthday, Aya Mikage discovers that she is a reincarnation of a celestial maiden known as a Tennyo. This other being within her, known as Ceres, is set on destroying the entire Mikage bloodline because according to her, the man with which she bore the first line of Mikage children with long ago raped her, and stole her magical robe that allowed her to return to the heavens.
This is where Aki, Aya's twin brother comes in. A little over-protective of his sister, Aki is a kind, gentle, determined and intelligent young man, who can be brash and stand up for himself when the need arises. With hobbies such as music, occasional computer games and karaoke outings with his friends, Aki is an everyday boy who never takes his everyday life for granted. He also happens to be the reincarnation of the above mentioned robe-stealing rapist. Oh snap! So his everyday world is also turned upside down on his sixteenth birthday.
Despite that, Aki tries desperately to figure out the circumstances surrounding him and his family, allowing himself to undergo experimentation to try to draw out the memories of his past life. He does this regardless of the mental effects they begin to have on him, all for the possibility that they can find Ceres's robe and set her free, thus allowing him and his sister to return to a normal life.
Sample Post:
I'm sorry, but Camp Fuck You Die isn't exactly a name anybody can take seriously at a glance. And considering the subtitle on the brochure reads "Where the Queer and the Emo Kids Play," I didn't expect to believe anything else in it, especially if the rest was going to sound like that. Which it did. In fact the more I looked through this thing, the more ludicrous it sounded. I wouldn't call "down the road, not across the street" a pro-tip for anyone.
And I thought it couldn't be serious, defining some of the inhabitants here as so emotionally distressed that it's crawling in their skins, so I was a little surprised to see that they really meant it in some of your cases. But don't listen to what it says in the brochure, those wounds will so heal if you take care of the maggots! That's the first thing you've got to do: get cleaned up! Take care of yourselves because if you look better, you'll start to feel better about your situation, regardless of how grave it is.
I've seen people deal pretty badly with being in isolation for such a long time. And eventually worse when they can't do a thing about it, so I guess what I'm seeing isn't very unexpected. When you have younger siblings like I do, it gets easier to notice things like mood shifts in others, and it's better to approach the problem as early as possible, before it's too late. In some cases, you can tell if something isn't right by just looking at a person, since it tends to show on their faces...
... But you people look just awful. You shouldn't just give up and starve yourselves so badly because you're in a situation like this. Although I understand not wanting to eat some of the things featured in the brochure. You're supposed to remove the hair when you're serving gorilla. --do people even eat gorilla? Don't you have friends and family back home waiting for you? Even though you're apart from each other now, bonds like the ones family and friends share with each other don't change, and can't easily be broken by anything, especially distance. Those people should be the reason to endure what you're facing now, and to keep on fighting it! That becomes your power through the hardest times, and holds you up when you're falling down and falling apart.
--both of which a lot of you seem to be doing! I'm not sure if the bonds I mentioned can help with that much, but on the subject of bonds, I'd really recommend seeing a surgeon about getting that re-attached -- it looks important.
Poll Vote!
Apps are still open for another six hours. But here are the FIRST APPLICANTS, everybody check 'em out!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE! KERCLOSED
Character: Otomiya Haine
Series: Shinshi Doumei Cross/The Gentleman's Alliance
Character Age: 16
Canon: We're all familiar with student councils. They organize school events, act as leaders and examples for other students, and in this case, have one extremely handsome yet terminally-grumpy leader called Touguu Shizumasa. And for every extremely handsome guy, there's always a love interest not far behind him! Our story beings with one such girl. Meet Otomiya Haine, ex-delinquent and newest addition to the student council, occupying the role of Shizumasa's personal bodyguard. She may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but as she figures it, you don't need brains to fight bad guys! Just spirit! And she's got plenty of that.
Haine herself is an energetic, optimistic girl, with one mission only: to capture her beloved Shizumasa's heart! There's only one slight problem with that-- he hates her. But Haine is not the type of girl who gives up easily. And so with a combination of courage and sincerity, she determinedly sets out to befriend her life-long crush in her typically naive fashion. And if she's lucky, possibly solve the mystery behind his seemingly bi-polar personality, too. It doesn't matter to Haine if this creates more problems for her than it solves-- she's vowed to work her way out of every bad situation with her anger, after all! ... And by anger, she really means effort. But don't hold her tendency to mix up words against her, she can hardly help being slightly stupid. It's just another part of her unconscious shoujo heroine charm.
Sample Post:
All right Haine, do your best! You've been given a job to do and you're going to do it to the best of your ability! Mission "Scout the Area for Possible Dangers", COMMENCE. Upon my honor as a student council member, I'll search high and low and in between! Now I just need some "possible dangers" to come along so I can scout them! Like an alien invader from outer space, or an evil ogre, or a giant tentacle monster, or I'd even settle for something boring like a vampire or a zombie! Then I'd really have something to report! Gone will be the days when everyone always blames the delinquent! Like when dinosaurs spontaneously combust due to an explosion of fifty plutonium dynamite sticks causing their extinction, and Santa invades the South Pole using cardboard box tops for snowboards, and pigs start learning how to fly in sugar based air crafts so they can take over America! Why, even those purple gorillas over there that seem to be carrying people away on their backs and make me think I'm hallucinating because everyone knows gorillas can't be purple... of course it's all the delinquent's fault!
Besides, it's not like I haven't said before that I quit that gang stuff already! Is it really such a bad thing that people won't believe me even when I've changed my ways? I mean, even before I quit, I was a good delinquent! Honestly, if there were something outrageous here I could save the world from, it'd clear the name of former delinquents everywhere! And then I could be a happy bride ♥.
... Or so I wish. It's not like aliens and vampires and those things really exist, right, Man In A Zombie Costume Who Just Suddenly Appeared-san? Hmmm, no, that title really is a little too long. How about "Actor-san"? Or "Grargh-san", if you really want to get in character! Ehehe! But you can put the bloody axe prop away, it's not like we're on camera here or anything. Or are we? Oh no, Haine what have you accidentally stumbled into? What if this is some kind of new reality TV show? No way-- it can't be! The world isn't ready to see my face on TV yet! I've got too much body fat!! I don't want to be another scandalous newspaper headline...!
Wait wait, calm down, Haine! Let's think about this logically. Yes, logically, that's what a calm person would do! And you know how they say calm people are always best for problem solving in a problem situation! Logically speaking, if you were on television, there'd be cameras filming us, right? So if I find the cameras and destroy them-- oh... hey! I don't see any cameras around! Ahahaha. So I guess we're not TV after all! See? Being calm really does help! Crisis averted. And the victory goes to Haine! But wait, if Grargh-san isn't an actor, then why the axe...?
AHHH! I was warned about people like you! You! You must be... a CEREAL KILLER!
Poll Vote!
Character: Fuuma
Series: Tsubasa -RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE-
Character Age: No canon age is given, but looks to be about 18 - 21.
Canon: Tsubasa is CLAMP's Ultimate Crossover of Ultimate Destiny. It follows the story of a young girl; her memories have been scattered across several worlds in the form of feathers, and she, along with her band of merry men (and meatbun) are on a journey to get them back. Along the way, they come across many faces familiar both to them and to the readers who have followed CLAMP's work over the years. One of these said familiar faces is Fuuma.
Originally from X/1999, Fuuma is now a few years older, less bent on destroying the world and a whole lot less crazy (...we think. At least he hasn't gouged any eyes out yet). He's also a very cheerful person, always with a smile on his face no matter what the situation. His seemingly rather carefree attitude hides his keen insight and the fact that he's pretty damn powerful. Relatively calm in the face of danger and also a bit of a sly, secretive bastard, Fuuma has a bad habit of teasing those he's taken an interest in. He's a pretty nice, polite guy, though, and he seems to genuinely care about the people close to him. ...Oh, and did I mention he's Yuuko's bitchboy? Because he is. In order to gain the power to travel across to different worlds, Fumma pays Yuuko installments by running interdimensional errands for her. Need to send an object across time and space that's relative to Yuuko's interests? Fuuma's there to see that it gets delivered safely.
Note: Yuuko has been mentioned with permission from the player.
Sample Post:
You know, out of all the worlds I've been to, this one certainly smells the worst. And that's really saying something. One of the places I was staying at rained acid. Acid! Do you have any idea how bad acid-burned anything smells? ...Well, I suppose some of you would know seeing as how quite a few of you are looking a bit like...you've played in acid rain yourselves! Which is fine if that's what you want to do, but just remember. It's all fun and games until someone gets an appendage melted off, all right?
Allow me to get to the point, though. The reason why I've come here is that I'm looking for an object I'm supposed to collect for someone and from what I've seen so far, this place is big. That's why I need every mostly able-bodied man, zombie, whatever to help me out. Now I need all of you to pair up into groups of two. That way each group will get at least one pair of eyes and ears, or...at least one eye and one ear depending on your state of decay. ...OK, it looks like everyone's good to go so here's the deal. The person you're going to want to find goes by the name of Master Beyshun. Haha, yes. I know it's a funny name, but you don't want to insult the client by laughing in their face about it. At least wait until after you've collected the item. Speaking of which, this is a picture of what we're looking for. It's a Hello Kitty vibrator. It's pink, has four speeds and is ribbed for your pleasure. And by "your," I don't mean anyone here. No offense, but please don't use it. I need it in one piece and preferably clean, thanks. ♥
...
Haaah, well. That should keep them occupied for at least a few minutes. Hopefully by then, they'll forget they were trying to eat me and go back to eating each other. It's not that I have a problem with the cannibal thing really, but I can't afford to be someone else's dinner right now. I wasn't even supposed to run into anything in the first place. Just a quick job. In and out. No problems. But, I suppose things never go just as planned. It's not like I could actually get the payment to Yuuko-san anyway with that barrier here. Ah well. That's life, right? I'm sure she'll understand. Nothing happens by chance, after all.
--Hey, you guys sure came back quick. You were able to find it, then? That's excellent! Where is it? ...Come on, don't give me that look. I promise I won't bite. ...Wait, is something wrong with your friend? He's bending over like he's going to-- haha wow, that's certainly something I didn't think I'd ever see ever.
Poll Vote!
Character: Margaret "Molly" Katherine Amanda Carpenter
Series: The Dresden Files (books)
Character Age: 19
Canon: [Mid-series spoiler warning!] Molly is about as normal a teenage girl as you can expect from someone whose father works as the fist of god. That is, when she was 16 she manifested the ability to perform magic, demonstrating a talent for the more subtle spells--including one that drilled holes in the psyche of her ex-boyfriend and drove him insane. Harry Dresden, long-time family friend and Chicago's only professional wizard, saved her from being beheaded by the White Council for this crime by taking her as his apprentice.
Molly is just starting to come out of a long rebellious streak that started out as a simple rebellion against a rather controlling mother. Stemming from her issues with authority came a desire to break social taboos--everything from drugs and tattoos to giving sex advice. Yet overall, she's just a inexperienced, mischievous girl prone to the same pop culture references and wisecracking jokes as her teacher. She's also known for lapses of poor judgment and a Gothic fashion sense. Molly has the potential to do great things--but has to do a lot of growing up before she can, because one slip-up can mean death for both her AND Harry.
Sample Post: Last I'd heard, Harry was off to fight some kind of super-corpses. His usual dangerous stuff--you know, the kind of stuff my overprotective mom wouldn't even want me to be in the same country as. So I did the sensible thing: I did my homework, got my toothbrush and hitchhiked my way to Louisiana. But instead of super-corpses, I found the chess club of zombies. You could tell because instead of wearing tights and leaping cabins in a single bound, they were shambling around a library and oozing something gross. Go go gadget deodorant, please.
But still, zombies are zombies. And I know they're bad news. I don't automatically fall in with a bad crowd everywhere I go. No matter what my mom says. I figured I should stick with what I knew, so I followed all the classic horror movie rules. I stayed in well-lit areas, I didn't go investigate the strange sounds in the dark corners, and I didn't even make out with anyone. Not that there's anyone to make out with. They didn't catch me until I had to go to the bathroom, and...you know what? Let's skip ahead to the getting-caught part.
When that thing jumped me, it was like being the caught by the Six Million Dollar Zombie, except not a single penny of it made it into his fashion budget. He was seriously a lot tougher than he looked. And he looked ready to fall apart like the off-brand paper towel in a Bounty paper towel commercial. I've been pressed up against bathroom walls by boys with worse breath, but I'm still going to have to put this zombie pretty high up on that list. I couldn't hide from it, and I couldn't fight it. That left my options with talking my way out of trouble, or screaming. And hey, I could always try the second one if the talking didn't work.
So I told him: Here's the thing--you aren't being noticed by the lady zombies because there's no reason for them to notice you. Sure, everyone says they're looking for someone with brains, and your looks don't matter. But that's a bigger lie than the Easter Bunny. Your looks suggest certain things to people when they're deciding who you are. Even if they don't mean to. So you just need to make sure your look is suggesting the right things. And let me tell you, some properly placed piercings can be pretty suggestive. It doesn't matter what you are--man, woman, or tentacle monster, if it dangles it can be used for fun time. I know that in the condition you're in, you've got a lot that dangles, but what you want to do is get metal in every bit of it. If you can manage to catch me again, you'll thank me later.
...And I'm pretty sure he only listened to half of what I said, because when I was done, he went off to get a brain piercing. Nobody gets their brain pierced! Brains shouldn't even dangle. This is common sense, people.
Poll Vote!
Character: Sohryu Asuka Langley
Series: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Character Age: 14
Canon: In the year 2015, mankind has come back from the brink of the Second Impact, a catastrophe that wiped out half the world's population. Now the beings that caused the Second Impact, Angels, have descended on the city of Tokyo-3. The only thing that stands between humanity and the Angels is the special organization NERV and its giant humanoid weapons: the Evangelions. The hero of our story and pilot of Evangelion Unit 01, Ikari Shinji, must survive battles both on the massive and personal level as he fights to save Tokyo-3 from destruction and to find a place for himself. To make matters worse, he also has to survive Sohryu Asuka Langley.
As the pilot of Unit 02, Asuka's skill is impressive, as is her sense of pride. She's quite vocal about how amazing she and her Eva are, and heaven help anyone who disagrees with her. Despite all her talent and intelligence - a university graduate at 14 - Asuka is quite capable of, well, being a petty loudmouthed jerk. She constantly berates Shinji, either for being inferior or showing her up, and has a very domineering attitude towards both him and fellow pilot Rei. On the flip side, she can adore and charm her schoolmates or the man she crushes on. Asuka has her share of problems, like any good Eva pilot, but she prefers to bury them under confidence and bravado. Basically, if you're not on Asuka's side, it'd be best to get out of her way before she kicks you in the face. Because it'll hurt a lot.
Sample Post:
This is pathetic! I knew the facilities in America were sub-par but this is way below UN standards. This has got to be breaking about thirty health codes, and that's just the welcome sign! What is that smeared all over it? There's even a paintbrush and little bottle full of it too… gross. It doesn't stink as much as the sign though. "Camp Fuck You Die: Ask us about our insurance policy! That's always a laugh." That's not funny, it's just immature. I expect better of a training camp.
Maybe NERV sends their normal staff here for training but a pilot deserves better than this. What am I meant to train with anyway, those stupid shotguns they were handing out at the gate? How degrading. Maybe those are fit for the gorillas roaming around, but not for me. I thought maybe this was my chance to show how adaptable I am in unknown situations, but I can't work in these conditions. The map they gave me to get to camp lead me through two swamps, three caves and a quicksand pit before I even found the buildings. It's the worst moment in my life if I have to choose between getting sucked into quicksand and letting some perverted vine pull me out. I hope it enjoys its new life as a knot around a tree for that; I think it's a fair price for getting up my skirt.
I'd feel a lot better about this place if it wasn't full of lechs. It's obvious that you all go on panty raids when you hang them on a tree to show off! Honestly, boys. Those sick ones are even worse. I don't care if you're missing an eye or an arm, that's no excuse for missing your pants. I didn't need to know what they looked like down there, all shriveled and dirty and - ugh. You all need some serious education on sexual harassment, because as a woman, I'm feeling harassed just looking at you. No, don't try to appeal to my brains, you're not worth my time! Go talk to whoever directs this place.
In fact, I'd like to talk to them myself. As a representative of NERV, it's practically my duty to make this place fit for use again. For one thing, no more of this wilderness survival crap. This is the 21st century and no one needs to know how to navigate through the woods. Not that I had any trouble with it, and those fake screams and howls were really tacky. And since I've visually confirmed what those goats were doing behind the Mess Hall, I'm telling you to get them desexed. I'll never be clean again… my innocence ruined… that is not what 'horny' should mean! Who needs all these wild animals around anyway? If the Director likes the idea of a zoo she could at least put some cages in. You could even teach some of those perverts a lesson by putting them behind bars.
As for the rest of you! I'm Sohryu Asuka Langley, and it's a pleasure to meet you all. I'm sure we'll get along great. ♥
Poll Vote!
Character: Kizna Towryk
Series: Candidate for Goddess (Pilot Candidate)
Character Age: 15
Canon: Candidate for Goddess is a wonderful tale of mystery, romance, and science fiction, but there's only thing you need to know about it: Boys want to pilot giant female mecha to fight seafood aliens. As they rigorously train to become selected as pilots, girls work alongside them as Repairer Candidates, dedicated to helping them on the training field and taking care of their training-wheel mechas, the PRO-INGs.
Kizna Towryk is one such repairer, partnered with a hopeless example of shounen retardism at its best, Zero Enna. When she was denied a position as a candidate because of her body, she became a repairer to push her partner forward with all her might so she could still chase after her dream. Kizna is a strong, straightforward girl with enough determination for five people, instead of just two. Brash and tenacious, she's rather like a female Zero with a brain that compensates for his lack of one. With speech better suited for a boy, Kizna is one who always speaks her mind without hesitation, whether chiding her instructor or helping her friends with personal problems. While she has surplus strength in mind, body, and will, the pair of cat/fox ears she got after a childhood accident causes her to be nervous about her appearance at times. However underneath all of her intensity, Kizna is a warm, playful, and compassionate woman, not a tomboy or a catgirl as much as the screaming matches or mannerisms would have you think. ...Really.
Sample App:
This is Repairer Candidate 88, Kizna Towryk, requesting to know who thought to activate the cheesy porn film simulation while I'm still in here?! You can cut the mood music right now, mister. I'm not going to tell you twice, I'm not taking anything off no matter how hot you make it in here. And if that gorilla with the fuzzy handcuffs doesn't step away from me right now, I'm going to erase it and the OS it came from. Do you hear me? Well?! ...Is anyone there? Anyone? Come on, I know you can hear me! I can hear moaning on the com link! Seriously, grow up, you perverts.
Ugh, boys! That's it! I'm reporting them to the instructor after I show them what these five fingers have to say to their face. Maybe the other five too! They should know better than to play around with equipment like this. It's not like they know how to handle a tool or a hyper-reactive ribbed thermal pipe. -Or maybe they do, since the abort for the simulation isn't working. They still can't handle a ribbed thermal pipe though! I guess I'll just have to figure out a way to override the system from here.
Okay, could you stop jingling that bell? And the next time one of these smelly monkeys comes near me with anything other than an eject button, I'm going to make sure you lose so many points, it'll make your whole colony spin!! Okay, come on, Kizna! Cool down. I'm just doing what they want-- Alright, not exactly, but still! I'm not going to play their game anymore. I can deal with anything they throw at me; I'm not going to let them enjoy this stupid grade school prank anymore! I'm just going to work on getting out of here as soon as I can, then pay them back! If I can handle having my nose broken and a clipboard to the face, I can put up with virtual balls of yarn and tacky collars with bells for a little while. The one with the rhinestones looks kind of nice though... No! I can and will wait out these guys for however long it takes to find a way out or help comes. It can't take Zero that long to notice I'm gone, right?
Oh, who am I kidding? I'm going to be stuck here for hours until that idiot gets hit for me not being at class. I hope the instructor gets him right in the back of the hea-- Ow!! Hey! When I said I could handle anything you throw at me that didn't mean start throwing cat tails at the back of my head! Jerks. I get the idea already, but it's not like I'm a cat or something! So what's with all the teasing? It's really mean! People shouldn't tease others about what they look like. It's just like how I'm not saying this AI of this big, hairy purple monkey is probably what these jerks really look like. Just that there might be a big resemblance if you ask me. But you can seriously get rid of these apes anytime now. They're getting just a little too close for comfort! You can leave the chocolate though. It's a good start to a big apology that better be followed up with a way out of here alre--
Excuse me!! But I am not taking a swing in anyone's jungle! You can cut the sex kitten talk right ther-- What does losing my ears have to do with anything?!
Poll Vote!
Character: Aki Mikage
Series: Ayashi no Ceres
Character Age: 18 (at the end of the series)
Canon: On her sixteenth birthday, Aya Mikage discovers that she is a reincarnation of a celestial maiden known as a Tennyo. This other being within her, known as Ceres, is set on destroying the entire Mikage bloodline because according to her, the man with which she bore the first line of Mikage children with long ago raped her, and stole her magical robe that allowed her to return to the heavens.
This is where Aki, Aya's twin brother comes in. A little over-protective of his sister, Aki is a kind, gentle, determined and intelligent young man, who can be brash and stand up for himself when the need arises. With hobbies such as music, occasional computer games and karaoke outings with his friends, Aki is an everyday boy who never takes his everyday life for granted. He also happens to be the reincarnation of the above mentioned robe-stealing rapist. Oh snap! So his everyday world is also turned upside down on his sixteenth birthday.
Despite that, Aki tries desperately to figure out the circumstances surrounding him and his family, allowing himself to undergo experimentation to try to draw out the memories of his past life. He does this regardless of the mental effects they begin to have on him, all for the possibility that they can find Ceres's robe and set her free, thus allowing him and his sister to return to a normal life.
Sample Post:
I'm sorry, but Camp Fuck You Die isn't exactly a name anybody can take seriously at a glance. And considering the subtitle on the brochure reads "Where the Queer and the Emo Kids Play," I didn't expect to believe anything else in it, especially if the rest was going to sound like that. Which it did. In fact the more I looked through this thing, the more ludicrous it sounded. I wouldn't call "down the road, not across the street" a pro-tip for anyone.
And I thought it couldn't be serious, defining some of the inhabitants here as so emotionally distressed that it's crawling in their skins, so I was a little surprised to see that they really meant it in some of your cases. But don't listen to what it says in the brochure, those wounds will so heal if you take care of the maggots! That's the first thing you've got to do: get cleaned up! Take care of yourselves because if you look better, you'll start to feel better about your situation, regardless of how grave it is.
I've seen people deal pretty badly with being in isolation for such a long time. And eventually worse when they can't do a thing about it, so I guess what I'm seeing isn't very unexpected. When you have younger siblings like I do, it gets easier to notice things like mood shifts in others, and it's better to approach the problem as early as possible, before it's too late. In some cases, you can tell if something isn't right by just looking at a person, since it tends to show on their faces...
... But you people look just awful. You shouldn't just give up and starve yourselves so badly because you're in a situation like this. Although I understand not wanting to eat some of the things featured in the brochure. You're supposed to remove the hair when you're serving gorilla. --do people even eat gorilla? Don't you have friends and family back home waiting for you? Even though you're apart from each other now, bonds like the ones family and friends share with each other don't change, and can't easily be broken by anything, especially distance. Those people should be the reason to endure what you're facing now, and to keep on fighting it! That becomes your power through the hardest times, and holds you up when you're falling down and falling apart.
--both of which a lot of you seem to be doing! I'm not sure if the bonds I mentioned can help with that much, but on the subject of bonds, I'd really recommend seeing a surgeon about getting that re-attached -- it looks important.
Poll Vote!