(no subject)

Feb 02, 2008 05:03

Next round! Apps are now closed, and I am going to bed after I post this. 4realz.

Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!

Now VOTE. CLOSED I think everyone finished voting that was voting a few minutes ago. WE'RE GOOD HERE, ANYWAY.



Character: Zero Enna
Series: The Candidate for Goddess/Pilot Candidate
Character Age: 15

Canon: In the year 5030 S.C., humans have lost all but one planet, Zion, due to an unknown catastrophe. However, they are forced to live in space colonies as a wave of aliens known as Victim attempts to invade humankind's final planet. What could possibly stop them? Curvaceous giant robots, of course. Called "Goddesses," the machines take only the best of the best as pilots and thus the Goddess Operator Academy (G.O.A.) emerged to separate the wheat from the chaff. Or more accurately, the retarded teenage boys from the retarded teenage boys who are manly enough to pilot female mechas.

Enter shounen retard and lovable protagonist Zero Enna, who single-handedly proves that in space, everyone can hear you scream "AWESOME!!". True to his name, he has zero attention span, zero tact, and zero volume control. Inadequacy with the Standard language also leaves him frequently repeating phrases, tripping over the meaning of unfamiliar words, and making occasional malapropisms-not that he was the brightest crayon in the box to begin with. An idiot par excellence, his cheerful straightforwardness has the effect of either attracting others or irritating them within an inch of their sanity. Yet equipped with endless optimism, an intensely competitive spirit, and a mysterious connection to the Goddesses, it looks like he'll be able to someday achieve his dream: to become a pilot.

Now if only he would learn to listen.

Sample Post:

Wow, wow, wow! This simulation feels so real! It's almost like I'm not really in one! Weird, huh? I can really feel the realness! And with a pain in the ass name like "Terrestrial Reconnaissance Automated Prototype," I thought it would be boring. -But I wasn't trespassing or anything! I was tr. . . t. . . TOTALLY NOT AGAINST THE RULES PASSING. I just came in and tripped a little, that's all! Right! And if the instructor asks how I walked into a T.R.A.P., I can just tell him that I was here for class first! Even before him! The first one, the first one, the FIRST ONE!! That means I had dibs to try the super awesome simulation that's super awesome before anyone else! Stick that in your pipe and choke it, tightass instructor!

. . . OK, fine, fine! I was here second! One of the seniors was here to train early too-Candidate 69! He's pretty quiet, but he's cool, cool, totally cool! Kind of little too, but he said he can fire all night long! Didn't even think the room was open that late. . . he must be totally not against the rules passing even more than me! And I think they said something in class about how we aren't supposed to be doing this for over four hours straight. Maybe! Like one time! I wasn't really paying attention! But if HE can do it, then I definitely can!! Since I'm going to be a pilot, I'll fight harder, faster, and longer than anyone else! I'll be the top of the top! The best of the best! The awesomest of the awesome! . . . as soon as I figure out how to where the weapons are on this sim! Whatever, I'll worry about it later!

So listen up, 69! You may have been here first, but I was first in spirit. Spirit totally beats class attendance! It's like how SCISSORS BEAT ROCK. But I guess you've got the firing thing down too-that makes us just about equal! There's only one way to settle it. . . a CONTEMPLA-I mean, a COMPETITION. Don't look so stiff! We can get permission for it later! It's the exact same as permission now, just later. It's called THINKING AHEAD. And that gives us lots of time to finish this off! Plenty of time! So what's it going to be? Sit-ups 'til we see stars? One hundred meteor dash? WHO CAN BLOW THE MOST STUFF UP? Doesn't matter what, I can handle anything you throw at me! Just name the event, and we'll make this a battle worth dismembering!

. . . hahahahaha! I get it, you already started! This is a staredown! And you thought that you could get ahead of me that way, right? Guess again. 'Cause see, what you DIDN'T know is that anything you can do, I can do better! And if it's a staredown you want, I'll stay silent for longer, way longer! Definitely longer! Believe it or not, I can stay silent for a whole fifteen minutes. Ask anyone! I'm even aiming for fifteen and three seconds next time! So there's no chance that you'll be more silent than me-you won't even believe how silent I'm being! It's like the silent silence of silent CHAMPIONS! Silent competition, silent competition, sili-compet, SILI-COMPET. . . !!

-Hey, why are you walking away?! I haven't even BEGUN to be silenter than you!

Poll Vote!

Character: Mieu
Series: Tales of the Abyss
Character Age: Unknown

Canon: Small, furry, and cute with giant ears, it's no wonder that Mieu is a hit with the ladies. And as a cheagle whose species is officially recognized by the Order of Lorelei as a holy animal, you would think life would be easy. But when you end up accidentally burning down a forest belonging to Ligers, get banished for a full cycle of the seasons, and end up joining the party of the spoiled bratty son of a Duke and his ragtag group of friends, well. Life could be a little better.

But that's not how Mieu sees it! In fact, Mieu thinks life's pretty good. He has a master who cares for him, even if he shows that caring through abuse. He even gave him a name; "Thing", which Mieu takes joy in counting how many times it's used in a day. Possessing the Sorcerer's Ring, Mieu is able to communicate with both humans and animals alike, which comes in handy at some points in the game. Though despite this, he still says "mieu", the sound a cheagle actually makes, usually as a question or a sigh. But not only does the Sorcerer's Ring allow him to talk, it also grants and magnifies certain skills, such as "Mieu Fire". Despite having to put up with certain necromancers' questionable sense of humor, Mieu loves traveling with Luke and his friends and using his abilities to help out in any way he can.

As an additional note, characters receive titles through progressing through the game or completing certain side-quests.

Sample Post:

Mieuuuu . . . I really shouldn't have wandered so far away by myself. Now I don't know where I am and everyone keeps yelling strange things at me. Mieu has never heard of a mascot animal before, but I guess cheagles are cute and fluffy! Is that what a mascot animal is, then? Ooh, so confusing . . . that would mean lots of things are mascot animals, even humans! But would that make them mascot humans, then? That doesn't make sense . . . Oh, hello! Did you hear those yells too? Maybe you can explain to Mieu what a mascot animal is. If it's something I can do, I want to learn all about it! Really? Thank you very much! It sounds like a very important title, so I want to do my best!

Okay, Mieu is ready and listening! You said the first rule was to be cute and fluffy, so what's the second rule? Special powers? Mieu has those! Oh, you need a demonstration? Let's see, which one should Mieu show? The most powerful one? Okay! Please stand back, Mieu is poweriiiing uuuuup -- Fire~!

-- ahh! I told you to stand back! Are you okay? You caught fire very fast! M-Maybe you should go see a healer, that looks very bad! You've had worse . . . ? I guess you don't look very different now that you mention it, but you do kind of smell like burnt chicken . . . ahh, that was mean, I'm sorry! You must be very strong if Mieu's fire doesn't bother you at all! Let me make it up to you by becoming one of the best mascot animals ever! You think I can do it? Thank you! I won't disappoint! There's one more rule left, isn't there? The last rule is always the most important!

. . .

Mieu isn't sure that "bounce factor" is really a -- o-oh it is? Okay, well, if it's a real rule and Mieu needs to have that kind of ability, then . . . y-you need another demonstration? Mieuuu, I'm not sure if they're being serious or not anymore . . . but if that's what I have to do, then I will do it! Mieu is ready!

-- Mieuuuuuuu~!

O-Ow . . . Mieu flew very far. It's been so long since I've has been kicked like that. Distance is a good thing? So that means Mieu has become a mascot animal? Yaaaay! I'm so happy! If only everyone could see, they'd be happy too! Thank you for your guidance! I will make sure to be the best mascot animal I can be!

[Mieu has received the Lovably Annoying and Abused Mascot Character title]

Poll Vote!

Character: Sena Kobayakawa
Series: Eyeshield 21
Character Age: 15

Canon: Eyeshield 21 is an epic story of bravery and friendship about a boy who sells his golden legs to the devil for a chance to become a star. Sena has spent his life being bullied and pushed around and running errands for his tormentors. And the more errands he runs, the faster he becomes. Upon entering high school it's not long before he's recruited by the more-than-a-little-devilish Hiruma as running back for the Deimon Devil Bats, an american football team. Little does he know how permanently his life is changing.

Sena is by far one of the most timid, most easily frightened little boys you could ever meet. He is meek and mild to a fault and submits quite easily. However, he grows a foot and a half in heart when it comes to his friends and those who need him. He is fiercely loyal, tender-hearted, and has an unbreakable will like any good shounen manga lead.

Plus, he can run like the dickens.

Sample Post:

Um. Excuse me? E-excuse me? Um! EXCUSE M-ME!

--oh! I'm sorry! I'm very sorry! I... didn't realize that your... ah-- your... ears were... falling off. I'm the player for the exchange program. From the Deimon Devil Bats? My captain is Hiruma Youichi...? You-- You haven't heard of him? I hope it stays that way for you. This is the Camp Football for the er Un-Dead right? Home of the Zombies right? Oh good! I'm so glad! I've been wandering around in these woods for hours and then I got caught in the middle of a war between elephants and donkeys and they kept yelling about camp-wide warming and interspecies marriage and trying to get me to vote even though I'm still a minor and it was just-- Oh, you want me to start drilling the players? Er... I d-don't know if I'm very good at leading drills. I'm not very good at giving orders and leading and things like tha--

OKAY THAT'S FINE I'LL DO IT N-NO P-PROBLEM SIR RIGHT AWAY SIR! P-please just don't lose your head over it! H-h-here! Th-there's only a little mud on it! I'll... um, help you put it... back on. Ohmygod it's so m-m-mushy.

W-well then! Could... uh, someone bring me a football? S-sir... you-- you should leave your foot on. A football doesn't... doesn't have real feet. Maybe it's a cultural gap? I believe Americans call them "pigskins"...?

N-N-NO! IT DOESN'T NEED TO HAVE REAL PIG EITHER...! Oh. I guess on the bright side we can have bacon sandwiches after practice... Er. W-well let's not worry about the ball right now and try... um, and try... running drills! Yeah, running drills will perfect! I'll demonstrate for you! Now... if you put your feet like that and launch with your legs like this... Oh please don't be upset! It's okay! It's just takes practice! But... u-um... you do need to put your leg back on. It's very hard to run without them! Okay! Just try it again!

...

I-- I think we need to spend a lot of time on running. They-- They call you the Zombies for a reason don't they.

Poll Vote!

Character: Noyamano Ringo
Series: Air Gear
Character Age: 15

Canon: Air Gear n. a manga/anime series chronicling the rise of Minami "Ikki" Itsuki, a former street punk who discovered the joy of flying when his adoptive family gave him a set of Air Treck (also known as A-T). The author of this canon section would also like to suggest that Air Gear can also be used as a v., using and abusing psuedo-sciences in the pursuit of badass aerial battles, occasional overloads of meta, and lots of pantyshots!

While occasionally a contributor to said fanservice, Ringo is also notable as the "sister" and childhood friend who first introduced Ikki to A-T. She's energetic intelligent and devoted, having supported Ikki's team faithfully through many of their growing pains. When not keeping an eye on her friends, Ringo is a dedicated student and keeps house with her sisters. If arguing with her not-brother over the groceries, taking communal baths and playing video games can really be called keeping house. Though unusually reticent about her talents, Ringo is an extremely skilled rider in her own right. This could perhaps be balanced by the fact that she's sometimes prone to explosive fits of anger, panic, and jealousy, and has been known to make reckless decisions. However there is a serious side to her. She is deeply involved with Sleeping Forest, a team which is committed to bringing down the most powerful and ambitious A-T riders. Their reasons for doing so? Are complex enough to fill a second canon section. Suffice it to say that Ringo has always intended to dedicate her life and body to their ideals, no matter what sacrifices she secretly has to make.

Sample Post:

Come on my friend, you too can jump over a bullet. It's true! Now close your eyes, calm down and prepare for the next time. Ready? The ground's not going to hold you down, just focus on moving forward. Watch those enemies. They're hostile but predictable, so be ready to react... they're taking aim now... they're going to shoot! ...Wait not yet. Okay NOW!

Great job! V for victory! You're still not as fast as me, so I win again, but you're getting closer every time. And... you aren't being stupid about it like some guys. Thanks for not making a big deal out of it, you know? Either way, that's another round of Super Mario Bros. 3 (multiplayer mode) successfully completed!

Do you want to play another level? We can, I don't mind. I actually feel kind of like I owe it to you. I'm just glad we could settle this peacefully. When you rose up out of the ground and challenged me to a battle, it seemed like you meant something else completely. Like A-T, or even a knife fight. Sorry! But it didn't help that you kept shouting "oliolioliooooo" like that. Wasn't that based on another video game anyway? You shouldn't ask people to play like that if Mario doesn't even do crab battles. It would be like Solid Snake using a moogle. But anyhow... I'm really happy you weren't looking for a fight. The way your tendons are liquefying might help you reach the L and R buttons, but your body's pretty weak. Just standing up might give me an unfair advantage right now, and Air Treck would make it even worse.

You look confused. Do you really not even know what A-T is? You must have seen rollerblades before. Just skates with wheels, right? But when you add a suspension air-cushion, suddenly you can learn to control them to make yourself fly! The people who can do this are called Storm Riders-

What was that? "Ride 'er? I hardly know 'er!"? Eeew, pervert! You may look like a sick man but under that skin condition you're just another guy, huh? Well you better not try anything, because I can----um. I. Took self defense? I know kung fu? Anyway just let go of the pigtails! They're not handlebars and they never will be!!

OW! STOP SAYING THAT! NO MATTER WHICH WAY YOU PULL THEM I CAN'T DO A BARREL ROLL.

Poll Vote!

Character: Sonsaku Hakufu
Series: Ikki Tousen
Character Age: 16

Canon: Once upon a time in Ancient China™, there lived a guy named Sun Ce, who laid the foundation for the kingdom of Wu, and was generally a pretty awesome guy. His hobbies included kicking ass, taking names, and long walks on the beach... but he died before he could unite all of China (possibly into one raging kegger, 'cause that's just how the Sun family liked to roll).

Now, fast-forward 1800 years to present-day Japan and a blonde bombshell named Sonsaku Hakufu! Hakufu's interests include kicking ass, forgetting names, trying not to get her ass kicked by her crazy, overpowered mother, and flashing her D-cups at her poor, sexually frustrated cousin Koukin. Not the brightest crayon in the box, Hakufu is nonetheless a good, easygoing person who tries to do what's right, and never seems to hold a grudge. She's usually cheerful and upbeat, even if she does get her rocks off by beating the crap out of guys twice her size.

Oh, and that Sun Ce guy? Hakufu's his reincarnation - not that she seems to know or care too much about that. Regardless, it's Hakufu's destiny to lead one of the high schools pitted against one another in Japan's modern reenactment of the Three Kingdoms era of China - just as soon as she finishes beating the crap out of this ONE LAST GUY! Promise!

Sample Post

Okay, this was so not one of Mama's best ideas.

"Here, Haku-chan," she says! "Go to this camp! There are soooo many strong people to fight and train with there! And if you don't, you'll get such a spanking, and I'll even use the hot oil this time~!" Yeah, right! The strongest guy I've fought so far was the one who managed to show up with all his limbs! What kind of training is that supposed to be, anyway - how to pin the arm back on the moron that doesn't know when to stay down?

And see, there are at least four other things wrong with this place! First of all, all the fighters are all sick with ebola or e. coli or Ricola or whatever, and that's just plain insanitary! I could totally get sick! Second, the soup I had last night tasted like that time I forgot about that natto and left it in my closet for like two months and then ate it anyway. Totally gag-worthy! Third... umm... okay, I forget what was third. And fourth, this place smells like the time I forgot to wash my gym socks until they sprouted mushrooms! Really guys, you won't melt if you use a little laundry detergent! I think. Probably.

And another thing? I'm seriously starting to think you guys aren't even trying to fight anymore. I mean, I can understand if maybe you're a little distracted by fighting me - you're total perverts and can't stop moaning and staring at my hooters and grabbing yourselves, I get it, fine! I mean, a totally cute girl's one thing, but... the gorillas?! Come on! How are you not even gonna try to get away when they start humping you? And they're probably full of fleas and lice and insects and bugs and stuff! Eww! Even if that one over there is wearing a super-cute bikini that totally sets off his fur, it's still gross as all hell.

Oh, and, umm... I know you probably can't help it, but when I hit one of you, can you try not to go to pieces? I mean, I'm barely tapping you guys over here, and you're flying all over the place! And Mama told me to take out at least 90 of you when I got here, and all the arms and legs going in different directions is making it really hard for me to count! I got to 20 and had to start over - and it totally wasn't because I ran out of fingers and toes! So if it's not too much to ask, when I hit you guys, could you just... you know... fall down into a pile, so I can count you, instead of exploding into a gazillion pieces?

And one more thi-- Oh my god! No way! I totally knocked this guy out five minutes ago and he popped a boner just now! Gross! I guess guys really can get them when they're comatose! Mama was right!

Poll Vote!

Character: Fou
Series: D.Gray-man
Character Age: ...old! :D But appears to be somewhere in her teens

Canon: Somewhere in the late 19th century, an old fat guy in a top hat turns dead people into weapons known as ‘akuma’ in the name of destroying God. Luckily, a substance known as Innocence can destroy these akuma, the catch being that only people chosen by the Innocence can actually use it. These people are called ‘exorcists’, part of a group called the ‘Black Order’, and are under the control of the Vatican.

Fou is not one of these exorcists. In fact, she’s not even human. She’s a guardian deity in a crystallised form, sealed by the great-grandfather of the Order’s Asian branch’s head, Bak Chan. She’s also a shape shifter, who makes her arms into blades as her weapons of choice. Don’t let the fact she is tiny fool you, she kicks ass, and even serves as the primary protector of the Asia Branch. Although her attitude is sometimes borderline abrasive and she likes to complain about the tasks given to her (before doing them anyway) she’s actually very kind-hearted and loyal, and wouldn’t hesitate to give her life to protect what he cares about. She has a gigantic soft spot for Bak and for a certain Allen Walker, but good luck getting her to admit it. She even went as far as to pretend to be Allen’s stalker in order to encourage him when he was feeling down.

When she’s not wandering around the Asia Branch, Fou lives inside a giant door type thing to recover her energy.

Sample App:

I’ve been here ten minutes and so far no sign of those damned exorcists. Trees and mud, yeah. But no exorcists. I don’t get what those guys at the Vatican are thinking, after losing five exorcists AND the Supervisor, why send anyone else? Damn it! I’m no one-man search party! If those idiots are stupid enough to go and get themselves stuck in the middle of nowhere, it’s not my job to find them. I’m only going along with this so I can find Walker and remind him I’m not his damned babysitter, okay? Not because I care. Because I don’t.

Seriously, Bak owes me big time for this. His advice about ‘going undercover’ has already caused me misery. The folks here are falling to pieces, literally. Decomposition does that to you, or so I’m told. As if taking that disguise wasn’t gross enough, they had to go dogpile me. Nothing I couldn’t take care of, but I think the stink is going to stick around for a while. The squirrels were even worse, they’re apparently very possessive of their nuts. I had to do some really fast talking to get out of that one. But uh... if war breaks out between the squirrels and those toucans? It’s not my fault. They were on shaky terms to begin with, it would have happened whether I was there or not.

But you know the most interesting discovery so far? My door. Just the door, and nothing else. I don’t know how it got all the way out here, but those rotting bastards are going to pay for all those stupid signs that they stuck all over it. ‘Beware the dog Bitch’? ‘Here be Narnia’? ‘Welcome to the closet, we hope you enjoy your stay’? What the fuck are those supposed to mean? Whatever, I don’t care! Their asses are mine when I find them!

At least this whole thing hasn’t been a complete waste of time. Some of those purple monkey things I met? They hadn’t actually seen the exorcists, but they see these religious guys, crosses and everything, pretty regularly. From what they said, they sound like those guys from the Vatican. They see the woman that owns this place. They go to play poker, apparently, but they either have some really shitty luck or just suck at gambling. Right now she’s winning, she’s got five of their fighters and one of their department heads, and recently she won some kind of deity, who should be arriving soon. It’s not much to go on, but--

Damn those bastards! I am not some fucking poker prize! I thought gambling was a sin in Catholicism.

Poll Vote!
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