(no subject)
Ohoho, last round. Please keep voting; the earlier round is still open! The date of the next round will be announced in an indefinite amount of time :|b Vote fast on this and congratulations, we got through them all in a weekend!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character Name: Ribbons Almack
Series: Mobile Suit Gundam 00
Character Age: Unknown (Youthful in appearance)
Canon: Mobile Suit Gundam 00 is the latest installment in the Gundam franchise. It is classified as an AU (Alternate Universe) which takes place A.D. 2307, and involves the sudden appearance of the secret organization known as "Celestial Being". Their goal is to eradicate all war from the Earth with their "armed intervention" tactics, in which Gundam Meisters (AKA pilots) are dispatched to perform missions that involve the destruction of military weaponry.
Ribbons Almack is a ~mysterious young man~ who is frequently seen at the side of Alejandro Corner, who sees Ribbons as a trustworthy assistant and often confides in him. His origins are currently unknown, though he has shown the ability to directly interface with Veda (Celestial Being's artificial intelligence program), which suggests he is not entirely human (if at all). Shades of his true agenda are not apparent at first, but as time goes on we see that he's not exactly the quiet and submissive individual he appears to be when around Alejandro.
This is especially apparent when Alejandro's plan to take control of Celestial Being is kicked into high gear, as the Corner family have long since planned to use the group in their plans for global domination. Alejandro, who prides himself on manipulating world events, was unaware that he himself was nothing more than a puppet for Ribbons all along. His loyalty was nothing but a facade, and sees Alejandro as an expendable pawn in his game of conquest.
Sample Post:
This is my sabbatical. When I am in the company of Alejandro and other officials, I can't help but feel disgusted at the nonsense that occurs all around me. Their presence is something I can only handle for so long before I feel the need to become secluded, far away from theircorrupted hands . Only this time it would appear that I have strayed too far from the path, as it appears at some point I had crossed a barrier, effectively trapping me here. The local lore from the natives in a nearby town speak of mysterious disappearances and supernaturaloccurrences in the area , so much so that they are terrified to so much as even speak of the place.
Truly there are unique forces at work in this area, not of this natural world. In my time on this planet, there are many things I have observed. Nations warring with one another over petty disputes, akin to those on a schoolyard. Corrupt leaders, selling out their own in exchange for money or status. I've even witnessed a family happily dining on pancakes for their evening meal, when historically they have been intended to be served for breakfast. But the anomalies that I have witnessed in this area are unlike anything I have ever seen.
A tree coming to life and attempting sexual attacks is not natural. An over-sized bee with a flamboyant fashion sense is not something that is created by this planet. To me it would seem as if they are an unnecessary addition to this already chaotic world, so with these in mind, I am left to question why they would come into being at this time and in this place. As I ventured further I came across what initially appeared to be a harmless rabbit, hopping around the base of a tree. I approached it to see if it would allow me to make contact with it, but in an instant it became rabid and lunged at my neck. I narrowly avoided this attack and fled as it gave chase, hissing and spitting at me.
Are these abominations the spirit of the Earth, rejecting us for our abuse of this world? The way the reanimated corpses pursue the helpless individuals, it's almost as if they're antibodies fighting off a disease. I can't help but find it amusing to watch the campers fight back, trying to fend them off while postponing the inevitable, but then again that is textbook humanity. And it's the fault of the fools who've lead us here, who gave birth to these evils that are tainting the human race. If the world is rejecting us, it is because over hundreds and thousands of years we've been lead by a long line of incompetent individuals who are only interested in social status.
Though without a guide, this will only end in disaster. This world needs someone to shape it, and that is precisely the role I will take. This mysterious place will be my first test on my path, and I will not fail. I will lead the world.
I hope that wasn't "Too Long; Didn't Listen" for you, Alejandro Corner, wherever you may be.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ren Fah
Series: Air Gear
Character Age: High school aged
Canon: Air Gear, everyone's favourite shounen retard manga, is the more-than-slightly epic tale of Minami "Ikki" Itsuki. A rebel with a point to prove, Ikki heads up Kogurasumaru, an up-and-coming team of Storm Riders. The Storm Riders use A-T, which are motorised roller skates, in combat - whether it's in races, or simply trying to beat each other down, every A-T battle is a thrill ride, and the manga follows Ikki on his way to the top of the Storm Rider tree. On the way, though, he faces a lot of challenges.
One of those challenges was Behemoth - a team with a gigantic membership, led by Udou Akira, a young man that was nicknamed the "Super Beast". It's often said that behind every great man there is a great woman, and the saying may well be true in this case - Ren Fah, Akira's long-term girlfriend, is the motivation behind many of Akira's actions. A young woman born with a deformity in her right leg, Ren Fah is a slightly macabre character that said to have a "sad and imminent" presence - she is obsessed with the idea of flight, something she can never achieve herself due to her deformity. She is seen to have removed the wings of her pet bird, for example, to make sure it couldn't fly away from her. To save herself from the debts of her brother to the Chinese mafia, Ren Fah poses as Akira's devoted girlfriend to achieve her own ends; as their story progresses, Ren Fah realises her debt to Akira, and resolves to save him from those who would do him harm.
Sample App:
Coming here ... it's like walking through a dream I've had before. Everything you see is normal, but then the next minute something changes, and surprises you. I woke up in the woods, when I'd gone to sleep in a bed. When I tried to go, I hit a wall that I couldn't see. I walked toward -- toward the group of men with the smiles, but their smiles aren't skin; there were just holes in the face, where the teeth were. I wasn't frightened, even when they started to wave the knives and forks at me, as this-- it has to be a dream, does it not? I have dreams like this, where the ground sticks to your feet, making sure you can't fly, like in this swamp. Though, in my dreams it never smelt like rotting meat and ... chemicals?
Then, I found you, Mr. Toucan.
When you're a bird, is it best to fly? Birds have wings because they're meant to be free, and freedom is beautiful; but if it's beautiful, shouldn't it be for everyone? I'm not sure. You don't seem to know either, Mr. Toucan. Though, I never expected to meet a bird that could talk; if you talk, then perhaps you can tell me what it feels like, soaring through the sky without so much as a care. This, this is an opportunity for ... for a warning? I'm sorry, Mr. Toucan. I don't know who "Marcy" is. But it's kind of you to tell me about her "upskirt technique". Marcy sounds cruel, somehow. Mean. Does she ... really pull people into the water for fun? Why does she do that?
But. You are a kind animal, to warn me of her. I never thought I'd meet a bird who was kind. If you can fly, why bother? I thought by now, you would have left; everything that can fly just goes away. If you're kind, though, maybe you could stay with me. I would take care of you. You'd like that, too? ... If you like "the touch of a woman", maybe you won't mind if I ... clipped your wings. See, you have to understand. I can't fly. If I can't fly, then ... wouldn't it be better? If you didn't have your wings, either? Then we could be on the ground, together, and you could never leave me.
--Wait! Don't fly away. I didn't mean to hurt you. Don't shout "badtouch alert", not so loudly - there isn't anyone here to hear you here but me. Please don't make a fuss. I thought that was what you wanted. I--
There are people coming! I'm almost glad. Even if they all seem to be wearing yellow, feathered costumes, they will take me to a resting place, I'm sure. Hello, everyone; your bird costumes are lovely. We all want to fly, don't we? Everyone. But none of us can do it. If fake wings is how you show it, that's alright. I'll take your hands. We'll find the way, together-- what? Where are you taking me? ...
... No, sir. I don't want to see your Big Bird at all.
Poll Vote!
Character: Majic Lin
Series: Orpen
Character Age: 15
Canon: Once upon a time there was a boy
called Orphen. Who was a magician. Who went on a
long journey to save his sister. And once upon a time
Orphen picked up an apprentice who was called Majic.
Who was very pretty and blonde and had green eyes the
colour of *cough* well, you get the idea. Majic was
really pretty and frequently mistaken for a girl.
Majic was also good apprentice; he did his chores with
only a little complaint, carried everything for his
Master on their ridiculously long journey, broke
girl's hearts right and left, used magic to watch
girls bathe (the perve), crossdressed even (but only
once and it wasn't his choice dammit) and basically
was the kindest boy - *cough*pushover*cough*
- anyone's ever known (but with a dose of snark
and bitch just when you think he's down for the
count). There was really only one itty bitty problem
- for all the years he's been trying, his
magic's never been that great. But it's okay, he's
been assured that it was only because he's got all the
self-esteem of a fifteen-year-old boy who's been
forced to wear a dress by his Master.
Sample Post:
Oh god. Ooooooooh god.
Seriously. What. The. Hell? It was supposed to be
a training trip. Just go out to the forests, practice
some spells, let Master order me around, make me cook
and clean and everything. When did "training trip"
translate to "be held hostage by a crazy woman who
just wants her fiancé back"? And why do people
keep calling this place 'camp fuck you die'? What
does that even mean?
And why isn't Master here with me? Wasn't he just
standing behind me?
And holy CRAP there're zombies here?!? No one
told me about the zombies; the flesh eating, brain
sucking, soul devouring ZOMBIES!
Ohgodohgodohgod I'm going to die and I'll never become
a proper sorcerer and Master's going to find my dead
body and oh GOD I'm too young to die. I
- I haven't even lived yet. I mean yeah there
was that whole journey thing but that was
like...nothing! I have so much left to do and - did
it just...? Oh shi - fuc - er...dammit!
That's disgusting!
They're...they're falling apart on me! I'm going to
have zombie goop in my hair and clothes and when
Master finds my body it's going to be so...urgh. Oi!
Hey -
- D-Don't come any closer! You hear me? Stay
back! Oh dear god stay back. What'd Master say?
Think, Majic! Zombies. Zombies. Zombies. OH!
ZOMBIES! Um uh - dead bodies, flesh falling
apart, made of magic - oh come on! Master! You
couldn't teach me anything useful?!?
Ooooooh boy. Uh...okay let's give this a try.
Hands out, palms facing them, er...try and mean it.
Ha! Try and mean it. Like I wouldn't when there's a
zombie waiting to eat my brains. Oh gods and
goddesses, please have mercy on my soul. Here goes!
I release thee, Sword of Light!
........
...Oh for - ewwwwwwwwww!
That...wasn't supposed to do that. Er...Counsellors!
Director! Anyone?! Helloooooo! Camper down! Camper
trapped under zombie goop!
H-HEEEEEEEEEY!
Well.
Crap.
Poll Vote!
Character: Casval Rem Deikun / Char 'The Red Comet' Aznable
Series: Mobile Suit Gundam
Character Age: 20
Canon: Casval Deikun was orphaned at a young age due to the assassination of his father by the hands of the Zabi family, pushing him into hiding for nearly half of his life. While on the run, the man who took Casval in would constantly remind him of the Zabi family betrayal, sowing the seed of hatred into Casval's mind. After an attempt on Casval's life, he happens to meet another boy named Char Aznable - whom, interestingly enough, looks like he could be Casval's twin. Char Aznable decides to join the Zeon Academy at the Side 3 space colony, and the quick thinking Casval manages to switch places with him, stealing his identity after Char is killed in a shuttle explosion. Under the new identity of Char Aznable, Casval begins acts of calm subterfuge to get him closer and closer to his true goal: revenge for his father's assassination.
There are three sides to Casval Deikun, though one is rarely seen. The calm, almost cocky front of Char Aznable is the most impressionable, and seems like the type of soldier any military would want to have - he's confidant, skilled, an extremely intelligent tactician, and above all else, he inspires the men fighting around him. This is a good cover for the true desires of Casval, which only manifests itself when the board is set for him to strike out. Casval's dark side, the side where the seed of revenge were sown, is cruel, almost callous at times - he'll stop at nothing to achieve his goals, even if it means befriending someone for almost five years before murdering them when their guard is low, or killing someone who gets in the way of his goal (such as Amuro Ray). He is absolutely driven by revenge, but he knows that it need not be swift. There are few that see Casval's softer side, and they tend to be female - and, oddly enough, they tend to be younger females. Even though he left his sister Artesia to get revenge on the Zabi family, he still takes care of her from the sidelines -- and, in the case of Lalah Sune, he has no problems rescuing young, beautiful women when the time is right.
Sample Post:
Log 001: 14:45
I suppose I should make a journal of what happens here, just for future reference. At approximately 14:21 I lost control of the Zaku and crashed down into what I suspected to be the swamps of South America, but unless I’m mistaken, large tentacle creatures don't tend to inhabit swamps...
There’s been no sign of any troop movement - or really, anything to show there is civilization out here. The longer I stay here, the more I feel like I'm being watched - but I have yet to see anything outside of toucans and possible a gorilla. Unfortunately, the radio won’t pick up a signal, so there will be no contacting headquarters or a unit nearby to get me out. The most unnerving thing about being alone in these woods and swamps are the noises. If not for the shuffling of feet occasionally, or the moans (of pleasure? Pain? Hunger?) of some sort of… dare I say undead creature, things would be mostly quiet. It has been easy for me to outrun them at least, as it would be better if I conserve what little ammunition I have in case I run into someone (or something) unexpected.
It would seem that my biggest mistake of the day was to leave without packing any type of rations. I suppose I should think on that more next time, though it does seem rather pointless to carry rations when I’m not even wearing a flight suit. Even with all of the skills we were taught at the academy, none of the plants here seem to look anything like what we were told were edible. Though I must be extremely tired, or perhaps still a little shaken up from the crash, because I swear that tree just offered me a candy bar...
On the bright side, I have been marking my path as I moved through the woods, so returning to my mobile suit shouldn’t be too much of an issue. It seems though, as luck would have it, the woods are beginning to thin out a little, and I can see a building of some sort. With the oddity of everything around me, for some reason I wouldn’t be surprised if there were cannibals. Cannibals or a mobile suit facility full of soldiers willing to turn me in for a rather large prize. Either one is just as probable.
As I move closer, I don't see any guards or hear the sounds of mobile suits; a good sign, if any. It's interesting that the buildings look almost like... wooden cabins. If I didn't know any better, I would -- no, this does appear to be an actual cabin. Perhaps I will move in a bit more, just to see if I can learn anything -- and it sounds to me like female voices. Teenagers? Just where have I landed? Perhaps I would be better off asking them if they have a radio or a phone, and pray that they're not -- aah, what was that? Where did this thorn come from? I'm feeling... so... tired...
End Log: 16:21
Poll Vote!
Character: Arcueid Brunestud
Series: Tsukihime
Character Age: 800+ but appears to be 18 or 19
Canon: Tsukihime is when background setting takes over the datesim convention of woo-and-win a girl. It's a world that favors secrecy, sorcery, occult, gratuitous amounts of gore, and flagrant disregard for the laws of physics.
Arcueid Brunestud is the ultimate assassin against the vampires of this world, clinical, efficient and deadly. That is, she was before she was "killed" by Shiki Tohno. That is when we see another side of Arcueid--a simple girl with a naive, childlike point of view on subjects that don't involved moonlit supernatural assassinations. Her own emotions fascinate her, and she often seeks out ways to understand them...which is a nice way of saying she interferes with Shiki's life whenever the fancy may strike her. And she is very, very impulsive and curious, often heeding or not aware of the consequences of modern society, and the Tohno household in particular.
Sample Post:
That's annoying. I come all this way to find a Dead Apostle and he beats me! Eeeh, this is stupid…wasn't even a fair fight either, came out of nowhere and hit me in the back of the head with...something! I don't know what it was exactly but he'll pay for doing it!
Hmph, I still can't believe that both he and his minions are out during the day! I can only imagine how long he's been here considering the amount of Dead there are around. I come here and everywhere I look there're zombies! They have got to be his, all the information I have points to this area. Though, the zombies here are weird, they just fall apart when I hit them and that's not what usually happens. They're a lot slower than normal ones too! They look different too, there's this blue one out there that doesn't look remotely human and it keeps singing 'B is for brains, they're good enough for me!' It's enough trouble finding the Dead Apostle without having to deal with them too, having to fight so many is really exhausting!
Okay, I was killing the zombies and when I finally looked up, I was in the middle of the forest. That's when I heard it, that laugh, that 'AH AH AH!' I looked up and there he was, the Dead Apostle. I know it was him, that short, pale faced vampire had to have been the Dead Apostle I was hunting. Sheesh, could he have been any worse, he makes vampires all over look bad! Don't even get me started on that cape and goatee, those combined with that accent? It makes me embarrassed for the both of us! I half expected him to pull out a wine glass with blood in it! Seriously! Talk about bad taste! He just stared at me with that grin on his face and then he said, 'One! One intruder! Ah Ah Ah!' Then there was a flash of lightning and everything went dark and when I woke up? He was gone.
He's a lot tougher than I thought! I mean, he controls lightning with just his voice! And he's able to make Dead out of things that aren't human! I've got to come up with a good strategy! Let's see…He's active during the day so maybe he sleeps at night? If that were true, then I could attack at night and be safe, I think. Though just attacking at night doesn't mean that his minions won't be protecting him.
He'll eventually come into the open if I kill enough of his minions, but I can't wait that long...I think forcing one of them should be good enough--he's already different enough that it's worth the attempt. … Hey. YOU. You are going to tell me where his lair is. Tell me how I can get to Sesame Street!
Poll Vote!
Character: Crow T. Robot
Series: Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) MST3K
Character Age: 500+, but is physically only 10-12.
Canon: Mystery Science Theater 3000 is a not-so-average show about an average guy named Joel, and later on an average guy named Mike, who is kidnapped by two mad scientists, held hostage on a satellite, and forced to watch awesomely bad films. In order to better tolerate the films, our hero makes fun of them! He also has the help of his faithful robots pals: Cambot, Gypsy, Tom Servo, and Crow T. Robot. Together, they all have wacky adventures, while trying to endure the films and escape from the Satellite of Love.
Initially, Crow is the inquisitive, mischievous, and sometimes dirty-minded "lovable wisecracker "of the Satellite of Love. Most of his jokes consist of pop culture references, while some of his other jokes, both when and when not watching the films, can be a little on the strange side and make no sense. He is also the sort of person who will follow through with his plans, no matter how illogical they may seem at the time. During the last few seasons of the show, Crow undergoes a slight personality change; becoming more cynical, egotistical, meaner, testy, and less patient with the movies but he still remains the "lovable wisecracker".
Crow might be considered the artist of the Satellite of Love:, he designs sunglasses( which are rather womanly but he fervently denies this), he plays the guitar, and he writes songs, sketches, and screenplays---most of which he sings and stars in himself.
The Crow that I’ll be applying with is the” meaner” Crow from seasons eight through season ten.
Sample Post:
Okay, that set’s gotta be around here some place! I mean, I was told that I was supposed to meet here for the filming of my script, Camp Wakakikikoo vs. Soup, and I haven’t seen anything that looks like the camp in my script at all!
I mean, where are the tents? So far, all I’ve seen are some crappy-looking wooded houses. Who built those things!? A bunch of visually challenged beavers!?
And the “Mess Hall”! I wonder how many creative minds it took to think that up! There’s no “Mess Hall” in my script, and it’s not even a hall, fer cryin’ out loud! And that lake! I specifically said that the lake should be blue and sparkling clean…so it would look all the more real when it’s filled with French onion soup! Instead it’s all green and covered with algae, and probably full of icky bacteria. I mean, come on; I’m a robot and even I know algae and French onions don’t mix!
You know, for a budget of $100,000,000, I expected way better. I mean, what did they spend all of that money on? The cameras!? And where the heck is my film crew!? Ooh, when I find that agent of mine, I’m gonna--ew…what's that stench? It smells like some kind of weird combination of ammonia and spoiled milk! Yu-oh, hey, you must be one of the actors for my film! Nice to mee-wait a minute, you’re not Kevin Bacon! There weren’t even any zombies in the script! Now I see where all that money went: To hair and makeup! And what did they do with it? Just whizzed it right down their legs. I mean, look at what a lousy job they did on you: they made you look like you're actually decaying, with all your limbs fallin' off and stuff...
And now what do you want? What? You wanna be in the movie? Well, I’m sorry, but this is not a zombie movie. Maybe we could find a job for you behind the scenes-well, there’s no need to get crabby about it, ya jerk! Look, I don’t care if you were in Dawn of the Dead, you’re not gonna be in my movie! Huh? Ooh, why I oughta-listen buddy, one more smart remark like that and I’ll make sure that you never work in this town again! Ugh, actors: you give ‘em a few good lines and they think they own Hollywood.
Now, where was I? Oh yeah, and this location! I said that the camp was supposed to be in Kansas! Louisiana looks nothing like Kansas! Jeez! An-and they didn’t even bother to name this place! In the movie, there’s supposed to be a big sign that says “Welcome to Camp Wa-“oh, hey, there’s the sign! Well, they managed to get at least one thing right! Hmm…it says “Welcome to Camp F-“ HEY! Well, same to you buddy! And what sort of name is that for a camp! They might as well call it “Camp Suck the Life Out of Crow’s Script and Crush All His Hopes and Dreams!” Oh…that’s the last time I sign a contract with a studio that has the slogan, “We won’t make any changes to your script! Honest!” Hmph! Stupid film executives.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ushiromiya Maria
Series: Umineko no Naku Koro Ni
Character Age: 9
Canon: On a small island named Rokkenjima, an old man was dying. He was the head of a rich family and his relatives were trying to decide who would be the next leader, so the family members sailed to the island. Upon arrival, they found out that the local shrine had been destroyed by lightning--which was considered as an extremely bad omen. The omen came true when the family members found themselves trapped on the island due to a sudden typhoon. However, tragedy continued to strike and soon some went missing and others murdered. Who was behind all this and who could you trust when your own relatives are suspects?
Maria Ushiromiya is a cheerful and energetic young girl who tends to be too trusting of others. She is the youngest of the eleven guests on the island. Sometimes she speaks in third person, be heard making the noise "Uuu" and repeats things that have already been said. Maria enjoys drawing and she can be seen sketching anything, from objects of her imagination to her male cousins making-out. The nine year old girl's innocence can be her downfall, because people tend to take advantage of it.
Sample Post:
Maria never knew a place like this existed in the main house! Then again, Mama didn't like me snooping around. Maybe this is a surprise from Grandpa! He's built a new addition to the main house that attaches to the garden! I'm sure Grandpa won't mind me looking around a bit. After all, what he doesn't know won't hurt him!
Uu~ what's this? Do those trees have faces? It's painted on so well that it looks real! There are gorillas in the garden too! How nice that Grandpa didn't cage them in. Maria wants to try painting a picture of the gorilla with her new art kit. They'll look so much more colorful than they do now! I'll just grab this yellow marker over here and draw some pretty flowers on that rock...
....Hey, you're not a rock! Are you one of the people working on the garden? You sure don't look like a gardener. For one thing, I'm pretty sure gardeners don't have their eyeballs popping out of their sockets. Your clothes are all torn and dirty... not to mention you have a rotten smell around you too. When was the last time you took a bath? Here, maybe Maria can help you look prettier. People sometimes judge others by their looks, you know?
Here, stay still. I'll color on your face to make you more bright and cheerful looking! I hope pieces of your flesh won't fall on me... Orange eyeshadow would be nice, and purple colored cheeks would match it so well! There we go, all done! Let's look in Maria's mirror, shall we? ...You don't like it? I think it looks wonderful! Maybe after a haircut it'd look much better. A little trim here, a big snip there, and....Huh? What's this thing that fell off? ...I-It's your ear?!? Uu...I'm very sorry! I wasn't watching and....Well, don't worry! Everything will be fine!
I mean, what doesn't kill you makes your stronger...Right?
Poll Vote!
Character: Saotome Haruna
Series: Mahou Sensei Negima!
Age: 14
Canon: When sharing a homeroom class with a few dozen of the most extraordinary and magical 14 year old girls ever (and a few other things that at least vaguely resemble 14 year old girls), what is a simple, bespectacled manga artist to do in order to stand out? Well, besides being loud, overconfident, and sometimes too perceptive for her classmates’ comfort; that’s a given... Oh, I’ve got it! Be the biggest pervert in the class (and the second most likely student to become a dominatrix in the future)!
Yes, outstripping all 30 of her classmates in terms of ero ero and nosiness, Haruna has made it her life’s mission to find out everyone’s dirty little secrets and spread them to all the wrong people as soon as possible. And though she seems to have limited interest in her own romantic endeavors, she takes great pleasure (to the point of actually drooling with excitement at times) in sticking her nose in other people’s business and using her wild imagination to “help” in the most embarrassing and traumatizing ways possible. Fortunately for others, Haruna does actually care a lot about her friends and has some small amount of restraint when they’re involved, though her definition of “too far” is a bit narrower than most people’s. You know, seeing as it doesn’t include encouraging multiple girls to try to seduce a 10 year old boy. And then kissing him herself and using it to get a reaction out of everyone.
Sample Post:
“P- Please, Master, stop! I realize it was all my fault, and I’m sorry for what I’ve done! I’ll do anything you want, tell you anything! If you keep going like this, I won’t be fit for marriage anymore! Just, please, put down the whip! Anything but the whip! ...or the tentacles! Anything but the whip or the tentacles! No, Master, No!
IYAAAA~~N!!”
Something like that wouldn’t be too difficult to pull off, you know~, so spill the beans or this Paru-sama will turn the nightmare into a reality! Huhuhu~, you have a crush on Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Furry, don’t you, my little Zombie-chan~? Honestly, that wasn’t very nice of you to keep from me after we’ve become such good friends today, and I’m afraid I’ll never be able to forgive you. Not in a million years. Not even when your flesh has all rotted right off your bones, and your man over there has descendants who’ve evolved into higher lifeforms.
Well, maybe not that long. I like to think that I’m an understanding person, after all. I’m sure that there were all kinds of extenuating circumstances, like you not having a tongue, or like the fact that gorillas and zombies just aren’t meant to be together. You’re from two different worlds, like the Montagues and the Capulets, the Greeks and the Trojans, the Jets and the Sharks, or the Ninjas and the Pirates! And it would be horrible if I was to let it slip to anyone, or even worse, if you were to act on your feelings, right, Drooliet~?
NAÏVE!!
If you think something like that should stop you, you’re far too naïve! You have to forget about all of that and go make your move before it’s too late! Sure, the star-crossed lovers in the stories always die in horrible ways, but it’s still romantic like you want your relationship to be, right~? Plus, you’re already dead~! So who cares if you two get stabbed or poisoned or buried alive or any of that stuff! It’s not like it can affect you! ...oh, wait. That Romeo Erectus is still alive for now, isn’t he~?
Oh, well! Forget about all that! All you have to do is get him alone and find a tongue to shove in his mouth. Or two, or three even! Guys love that kind of stuff! Then he’ll be yours forever! And don’t worry, you can trust Oneesan on this one~!
Poll Vote!
Character: Joushima Ken
Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Character Age: 14
Canon: Sawada Tsunayoshi was nothing but an ordinary boy who failed at just about everything he did. But one day a home tutor named Reborn showed up at his house and announced that he was going to be training him to become the Tenth boss of the Vongola mafia family. That would be weird enough all on its own, but add to that the fact that the tutor's an infant with a penchant for shooting Tsuna and recruiting his friends into the family (whether they realize it or not), and Tsuna's life will never be the same again! As he tries to get used to his new life as future mafia boss, Tsuna and his new family find themselves going head-to-head with all sorts of enemies.
One of these enemies is Rokudou Mukuro, and his devoted subordinates, Kakimoto Chikusa (fondly nicknamed "Kakipi") and Joushima Ken. Both of them are completely loyal to Mukuro, and would do anything for him. Unlike Chikusa, who is quiet and mature, Ken is loud, fond of throwing nonsense sounds like 'pyon' into his speech, messy, and overall, animalistic. But this is all pretty fitting for someone whose fighting style involves swapping "cartridges" of different animal's teeth into his mouth to give him the physical characteristics of each animals. He calls these "channels": Kong Channel gives him a gorilla's size and strength, Wolf Channel gives him a wolf's speed and sense of smell, Opossum Channel lets him convincingly play dead, etc. Overall, Ken isn't very smart (for example, he thinks a box of strawberry gum is an adequate emergency food supply, because he eats it rather than just chewing it), but what he lacks in common sense, he makes up for in loyalty and persistence.
Sample Post:
Hyaa~~~ I thought this place looked pretty cool at first, but I guess I was wrong. Those rotten guys stumbling around all over the place weren't scary at all. They just fell right to pieces as soon as I attacked! One of 'em even fell apart from fear or somethin' the second I went into Rhino Channel! And that one doesn't even change the way I look that much! No fun at all, pyon. I thought maybe a place with a showy name like "Camp Fuck You Die" would at least have a decent challenge or two, but if that was the best this place's got, it looks like I'm gonna be super bored.
Even those gorillas weren't very interesting. It was pretty funny to see purple-haired gorillas, but no matter what color they are, gorillas are gorillas and I figured they'd put up a good fight. It would've been something to do, at least! And there was just me against ten of them, TEN! I knew I could take them, though~ I mean, check out my ...dananana... KONG CHANNEL! See that? I'm almost just like one of them now but BIGGER. ...Except that after they saw that, they started actin' really weird, with all that touching and grabbing and eeeaugh. I don't care if me'n'them ain't nothin' but mammals, I'm not doin' anything like that no matter what channel I'm in!
A quick switch to my Lion Channel showed 'em they better keep their hands to themselves, though! They ran away pretty fast after that, yelling something about getting in a car. I didn't think gorillas knew how to drive, pyon, but then again, I've didn't think they could talk either. There's a bunch of weird talking stuff here! Like I've also never seen talking birds before, but those bright colored ones are kinda nice, I guess. They gave me some gum, and it was pretty good, even if it was a little bit funny tasting and sort of made me dizzy. I definitely like the strawberry kind a lot better.
Anyways, your name's Marcy, isn't it? The birds told me all about you while I was eating my gum, pyon. They said people here think you're pretty scary, but you don't look so tough to me. I wonder if you have teeth... Just imagine it! Having a Marcy Channel would be super awesome~ I could do lots of stuff with a bunch of long arms like that... like grab more gum and poke Kakipi and play video games all at the same time! Huh? What d'you mean that's not the right way to use them? Gehh! No, you don't have to show me! Stop it, oi!
I hope this works... OPOSSUM CHANNEL!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character Name: Ribbons Almack
Series: Mobile Suit Gundam 00
Character Age: Unknown (Youthful in appearance)
Canon: Mobile Suit Gundam 00 is the latest installment in the Gundam franchise. It is classified as an AU (Alternate Universe) which takes place A.D. 2307, and involves the sudden appearance of the secret organization known as "Celestial Being". Their goal is to eradicate all war from the Earth with their "armed intervention" tactics, in which Gundam Meisters (AKA pilots) are dispatched to perform missions that involve the destruction of military weaponry.
Ribbons Almack is a ~mysterious young man~ who is frequently seen at the side of Alejandro Corner, who sees Ribbons as a trustworthy assistant and often confides in him. His origins are currently unknown, though he has shown the ability to directly interface with Veda (Celestial Being's artificial intelligence program), which suggests he is not entirely human (if at all). Shades of his true agenda are not apparent at first, but as time goes on we see that he's not exactly the quiet and submissive individual he appears to be when around Alejandro.
This is especially apparent when Alejandro's plan to take control of Celestial Being is kicked into high gear, as the Corner family have long since planned to use the group in their plans for global domination. Alejandro, who prides himself on manipulating world events, was unaware that he himself was nothing more than a puppet for Ribbons all along. His loyalty was nothing but a facade, and sees Alejandro as an expendable pawn in his game of conquest.
Sample Post:
This is my sabbatical. When I am in the company of Alejandro and other officials, I can't help but feel disgusted at the nonsense that occurs all around me. Their presence is something I can only handle for so long before I feel the need to become secluded, far away from theircorrupted hands . Only this time it would appear that I have strayed too far from the path, as it appears at some point I had crossed a barrier, effectively trapping me here. The local lore from the natives in a nearby town speak of mysterious disappearances and supernaturaloccurrences in the area , so much so that they are terrified to so much as even speak of the place.
Truly there are unique forces at work in this area, not of this natural world. In my time on this planet, there are many things I have observed. Nations warring with one another over petty disputes, akin to those on a schoolyard. Corrupt leaders, selling out their own in exchange for money or status. I've even witnessed a family happily dining on pancakes for their evening meal, when historically they have been intended to be served for breakfast. But the anomalies that I have witnessed in this area are unlike anything I have ever seen.
A tree coming to life and attempting sexual attacks is not natural. An over-sized bee with a flamboyant fashion sense is not something that is created by this planet. To me it would seem as if they are an unnecessary addition to this already chaotic world, so with these in mind, I am left to question why they would come into being at this time and in this place. As I ventured further I came across what initially appeared to be a harmless rabbit, hopping around the base of a tree. I approached it to see if it would allow me to make contact with it, but in an instant it became rabid and lunged at my neck. I narrowly avoided this attack and fled as it gave chase, hissing and spitting at me.
Are these abominations the spirit of the Earth, rejecting us for our abuse of this world? The way the reanimated corpses pursue the helpless individuals, it's almost as if they're antibodies fighting off a disease. I can't help but find it amusing to watch the campers fight back, trying to fend them off while postponing the inevitable, but then again that is textbook humanity. And it's the fault of the fools who've lead us here, who gave birth to these evils that are tainting the human race. If the world is rejecting us, it is because over hundreds and thousands of years we've been lead by a long line of incompetent individuals who are only interested in social status.
Though without a guide, this will only end in disaster. This world needs someone to shape it, and that is precisely the role I will take. This mysterious place will be my first test on my path, and I will not fail. I will lead the world.
I hope that wasn't "Too Long; Didn't Listen" for you, Alejandro Corner, wherever you may be.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ren Fah
Series: Air Gear
Character Age: High school aged
Canon: Air Gear, everyone's favourite shounen retard manga, is the more-than-slightly epic tale of Minami "Ikki" Itsuki. A rebel with a point to prove, Ikki heads up Kogurasumaru, an up-and-coming team of Storm Riders. The Storm Riders use A-T, which are motorised roller skates, in combat - whether it's in races, or simply trying to beat each other down, every A-T battle is a thrill ride, and the manga follows Ikki on his way to the top of the Storm Rider tree. On the way, though, he faces a lot of challenges.
One of those challenges was Behemoth - a team with a gigantic membership, led by Udou Akira, a young man that was nicknamed the "Super Beast". It's often said that behind every great man there is a great woman, and the saying may well be true in this case - Ren Fah, Akira's long-term girlfriend, is the motivation behind many of Akira's actions. A young woman born with a deformity in her right leg, Ren Fah is a slightly macabre character that said to have a "sad and imminent" presence - she is obsessed with the idea of flight, something she can never achieve herself due to her deformity. She is seen to have removed the wings of her pet bird, for example, to make sure it couldn't fly away from her. To save herself from the debts of her brother to the Chinese mafia, Ren Fah poses as Akira's devoted girlfriend to achieve her own ends; as their story progresses, Ren Fah realises her debt to Akira, and resolves to save him from those who would do him harm.
Sample App:
Coming here ... it's like walking through a dream I've had before. Everything you see is normal, but then the next minute something changes, and surprises you. I woke up in the woods, when I'd gone to sleep in a bed. When I tried to go, I hit a wall that I couldn't see. I walked toward -- toward the group of men with the smiles, but their smiles aren't skin; there were just holes in the face, where the teeth were. I wasn't frightened, even when they started to wave the knives and forks at me, as this-- it has to be a dream, does it not? I have dreams like this, where the ground sticks to your feet, making sure you can't fly, like in this swamp. Though, in my dreams it never smelt like rotting meat and ... chemicals?
Then, I found you, Mr. Toucan.
When you're a bird, is it best to fly? Birds have wings because they're meant to be free, and freedom is beautiful; but if it's beautiful, shouldn't it be for everyone? I'm not sure. You don't seem to know either, Mr. Toucan. Though, I never expected to meet a bird that could talk; if you talk, then perhaps you can tell me what it feels like, soaring through the sky without so much as a care. This, this is an opportunity for ... for a warning? I'm sorry, Mr. Toucan. I don't know who "Marcy" is. But it's kind of you to tell me about her "upskirt technique". Marcy sounds cruel, somehow. Mean. Does she ... really pull people into the water for fun? Why does she do that?
But. You are a kind animal, to warn me of her. I never thought I'd meet a bird who was kind. If you can fly, why bother? I thought by now, you would have left; everything that can fly just goes away. If you're kind, though, maybe you could stay with me. I would take care of you. You'd like that, too? ... If you like "the touch of a woman", maybe you won't mind if I ... clipped your wings. See, you have to understand. I can't fly. If I can't fly, then ... wouldn't it be better? If you didn't have your wings, either? Then we could be on the ground, together, and you could never leave me.
--Wait! Don't fly away. I didn't mean to hurt you. Don't shout "badtouch alert", not so loudly - there isn't anyone here to hear you here but me. Please don't make a fuss. I thought that was what you wanted. I--
There are people coming! I'm almost glad. Even if they all seem to be wearing yellow, feathered costumes, they will take me to a resting place, I'm sure. Hello, everyone; your bird costumes are lovely. We all want to fly, don't we? Everyone. But none of us can do it. If fake wings is how you show it, that's alright. I'll take your hands. We'll find the way, together-- what? Where are you taking me? ...
... No, sir. I don't want to see your Big Bird at all.
Poll Vote!
Character: Majic Lin
Series: Orpen
Character Age: 15
Canon: Once upon a time there was a boy
called Orphen. Who was a magician. Who went on a
long journey to save his sister. And once upon a time
Orphen picked up an apprentice who was called Majic.
Who was very pretty and blonde and had green eyes the
colour of *cough* well, you get the idea. Majic was
really pretty and frequently mistaken for a girl.
Majic was also good apprentice; he did his chores with
only a little complaint, carried everything for his
Master on their ridiculously long journey, broke
girl's hearts right and left, used magic to watch
girls bathe (the perve), crossdressed even (but only
once and it wasn't his choice dammit) and basically
was the kindest boy - *cough*pushover*cough*
- anyone's ever known (but with a dose of snark
and bitch just when you think he's down for the
count). There was really only one itty bitty problem
- for all the years he's been trying, his
magic's never been that great. But it's okay, he's
been assured that it was only because he's got all the
self-esteem of a fifteen-year-old boy who's been
forced to wear a dress by his Master.
Sample Post:
Oh god. Ooooooooh god.
Seriously. What. The. Hell? It was supposed to be
a training trip. Just go out to the forests, practice
some spells, let Master order me around, make me cook
and clean and everything. When did "training trip"
translate to "be held hostage by a crazy woman who
just wants her fiancé back"? And why do people
keep calling this place 'camp fuck you die'? What
does that even mean?
And why isn't Master here with me? Wasn't he just
standing behind me?
And holy CRAP there're zombies here?!? No one
told me about the zombies; the flesh eating, brain
sucking, soul devouring ZOMBIES!
Ohgodohgodohgod I'm going to die and I'll never become
a proper sorcerer and Master's going to find my dead
body and oh GOD I'm too young to die. I
- I haven't even lived yet. I mean yeah there
was that whole journey thing but that was
like...nothing! I have so much left to do and - did
it just...? Oh shi - fuc - er...dammit!
That's disgusting!
They're...they're falling apart on me! I'm going to
have zombie goop in my hair and clothes and when
Master finds my body it's going to be so...urgh. Oi!
Hey -
- D-Don't come any closer! You hear me? Stay
back! Oh dear god stay back. What'd Master say?
Think, Majic! Zombies. Zombies. Zombies. OH!
ZOMBIES! Um uh - dead bodies, flesh falling
apart, made of magic - oh come on! Master! You
couldn't teach me anything useful?!?
Ooooooh boy. Uh...okay let's give this a try.
Hands out, palms facing them, er...try and mean it.
Ha! Try and mean it. Like I wouldn't when there's a
zombie waiting to eat my brains. Oh gods and
goddesses, please have mercy on my soul. Here goes!
I release thee, Sword of Light!
........
...Oh for - ewwwwwwwwww!
That...wasn't supposed to do that. Er...Counsellors!
Director! Anyone?! Helloooooo! Camper down! Camper
trapped under zombie goop!
H-HEEEEEEEEEY!
Well.
Crap.
Poll Vote!
Character: Casval Rem Deikun / Char 'The Red Comet' Aznable
Series: Mobile Suit Gundam
Character Age: 20
Canon: Casval Deikun was orphaned at a young age due to the assassination of his father by the hands of the Zabi family, pushing him into hiding for nearly half of his life. While on the run, the man who took Casval in would constantly remind him of the Zabi family betrayal, sowing the seed of hatred into Casval's mind. After an attempt on Casval's life, he happens to meet another boy named Char Aznable - whom, interestingly enough, looks like he could be Casval's twin. Char Aznable decides to join the Zeon Academy at the Side 3 space colony, and the quick thinking Casval manages to switch places with him, stealing his identity after Char is killed in a shuttle explosion. Under the new identity of Char Aznable, Casval begins acts of calm subterfuge to get him closer and closer to his true goal: revenge for his father's assassination.
There are three sides to Casval Deikun, though one is rarely seen. The calm, almost cocky front of Char Aznable is the most impressionable, and seems like the type of soldier any military would want to have - he's confidant, skilled, an extremely intelligent tactician, and above all else, he inspires the men fighting around him. This is a good cover for the true desires of Casval, which only manifests itself when the board is set for him to strike out. Casval's dark side, the side where the seed of revenge were sown, is cruel, almost callous at times - he'll stop at nothing to achieve his goals, even if it means befriending someone for almost five years before murdering them when their guard is low, or killing someone who gets in the way of his goal (such as Amuro Ray). He is absolutely driven by revenge, but he knows that it need not be swift. There are few that see Casval's softer side, and they tend to be female - and, oddly enough, they tend to be younger females. Even though he left his sister Artesia to get revenge on the Zabi family, he still takes care of her from the sidelines -- and, in the case of Lalah Sune, he has no problems rescuing young, beautiful women when the time is right.
Sample Post:
Log 001: 14:45
I suppose I should make a journal of what happens here, just for future reference. At approximately 14:21 I lost control of the Zaku and crashed down into what I suspected to be the swamps of South America, but unless I’m mistaken, large tentacle creatures don't tend to inhabit swamps...
There’s been no sign of any troop movement - or really, anything to show there is civilization out here. The longer I stay here, the more I feel like I'm being watched - but I have yet to see anything outside of toucans and possible a gorilla. Unfortunately, the radio won’t pick up a signal, so there will be no contacting headquarters or a unit nearby to get me out. The most unnerving thing about being alone in these woods and swamps are the noises. If not for the shuffling of feet occasionally, or the moans (of pleasure? Pain? Hunger?) of some sort of… dare I say undead creature, things would be mostly quiet. It has been easy for me to outrun them at least, as it would be better if I conserve what little ammunition I have in case I run into someone (or something) unexpected.
It would seem that my biggest mistake of the day was to leave without packing any type of rations. I suppose I should think on that more next time, though it does seem rather pointless to carry rations when I’m not even wearing a flight suit. Even with all of the skills we were taught at the academy, none of the plants here seem to look anything like what we were told were edible. Though I must be extremely tired, or perhaps still a little shaken up from the crash, because I swear that tree just offered me a candy bar...
On the bright side, I have been marking my path as I moved through the woods, so returning to my mobile suit shouldn’t be too much of an issue. It seems though, as luck would have it, the woods are beginning to thin out a little, and I can see a building of some sort. With the oddity of everything around me, for some reason I wouldn’t be surprised if there were cannibals. Cannibals or a mobile suit facility full of soldiers willing to turn me in for a rather large prize. Either one is just as probable.
As I move closer, I don't see any guards or hear the sounds of mobile suits; a good sign, if any. It's interesting that the buildings look almost like... wooden cabins. If I didn't know any better, I would -- no, this does appear to be an actual cabin. Perhaps I will move in a bit more, just to see if I can learn anything -- and it sounds to me like female voices. Teenagers? Just where have I landed? Perhaps I would be better off asking them if they have a radio or a phone, and pray that they're not -- aah, what was that? Where did this thorn come from? I'm feeling... so... tired...
End Log: 16:21
Poll Vote!
Character: Arcueid Brunestud
Series: Tsukihime
Character Age: 800+ but appears to be 18 or 19
Canon: Tsukihime is when background setting takes over the datesim convention of woo-and-win a girl. It's a world that favors secrecy, sorcery, occult, gratuitous amounts of gore, and flagrant disregard for the laws of physics.
Arcueid Brunestud is the ultimate assassin against the vampires of this world, clinical, efficient and deadly. That is, she was before she was "killed" by Shiki Tohno. That is when we see another side of Arcueid--a simple girl with a naive, childlike point of view on subjects that don't involved moonlit supernatural assassinations. Her own emotions fascinate her, and she often seeks out ways to understand them...which is a nice way of saying she interferes with Shiki's life whenever the fancy may strike her. And she is very, very impulsive and curious, often heeding or not aware of the consequences of modern society, and the Tohno household in particular.
Sample Post:
That's annoying. I come all this way to find a Dead Apostle and he beats me! Eeeh, this is stupid…wasn't even a fair fight either, came out of nowhere and hit me in the back of the head with...something! I don't know what it was exactly but he'll pay for doing it!
Hmph, I still can't believe that both he and his minions are out during the day! I can only imagine how long he's been here considering the amount of Dead there are around. I come here and everywhere I look there're zombies! They have got to be his, all the information I have points to this area. Though, the zombies here are weird, they just fall apart when I hit them and that's not what usually happens. They're a lot slower than normal ones too! They look different too, there's this blue one out there that doesn't look remotely human and it keeps singing 'B is for brains, they're good enough for me!' It's enough trouble finding the Dead Apostle without having to deal with them too, having to fight so many is really exhausting!
Okay, I was killing the zombies and when I finally looked up, I was in the middle of the forest. That's when I heard it, that laugh, that 'AH AH AH!' I looked up and there he was, the Dead Apostle. I know it was him, that short, pale faced vampire had to have been the Dead Apostle I was hunting. Sheesh, could he have been any worse, he makes vampires all over look bad! Don't even get me started on that cape and goatee, those combined with that accent? It makes me embarrassed for the both of us! I half expected him to pull out a wine glass with blood in it! Seriously! Talk about bad taste! He just stared at me with that grin on his face and then he said, 'One! One intruder! Ah Ah Ah!' Then there was a flash of lightning and everything went dark and when I woke up? He was gone.
He's a lot tougher than I thought! I mean, he controls lightning with just his voice! And he's able to make Dead out of things that aren't human! I've got to come up with a good strategy! Let's see…He's active during the day so maybe he sleeps at night? If that were true, then I could attack at night and be safe, I think. Though just attacking at night doesn't mean that his minions won't be protecting him.
He'll eventually come into the open if I kill enough of his minions, but I can't wait that long...I think forcing one of them should be good enough--he's already different enough that it's worth the attempt. … Hey. YOU. You are going to tell me where his lair is. Tell me how I can get to Sesame Street!
Poll Vote!
Character: Crow T. Robot
Series: Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) MST3K
Character Age: 500+, but is physically only 10-12.
Canon: Mystery Science Theater 3000 is a not-so-average show about an average guy named Joel, and later on an average guy named Mike, who is kidnapped by two mad scientists, held hostage on a satellite, and forced to watch awesomely bad films. In order to better tolerate the films, our hero makes fun of them! He also has the help of his faithful robots pals: Cambot, Gypsy, Tom Servo, and Crow T. Robot. Together, they all have wacky adventures, while trying to endure the films and escape from the Satellite of Love.
Initially, Crow is the inquisitive, mischievous, and sometimes dirty-minded "lovable wisecracker "of the Satellite of Love. Most of his jokes consist of pop culture references, while some of his other jokes, both when and when not watching the films, can be a little on the strange side and make no sense. He is also the sort of person who will follow through with his plans, no matter how illogical they may seem at the time. During the last few seasons of the show, Crow undergoes a slight personality change; becoming more cynical, egotistical, meaner, testy, and less patient with the movies but he still remains the "lovable wisecracker".
Crow might be considered the artist of the Satellite of Love:, he designs sunglasses( which are rather womanly but he fervently denies this), he plays the guitar, and he writes songs, sketches, and screenplays---most of which he sings and stars in himself.
The Crow that I’ll be applying with is the” meaner” Crow from seasons eight through season ten.
Sample Post:
Okay, that set’s gotta be around here some place! I mean, I was told that I was supposed to meet here for the filming of my script, Camp Wakakikikoo vs. Soup, and I haven’t seen anything that looks like the camp in my script at all!
I mean, where are the tents? So far, all I’ve seen are some crappy-looking wooded houses. Who built those things!? A bunch of visually challenged beavers!?
And the “Mess Hall”! I wonder how many creative minds it took to think that up! There’s no “Mess Hall” in my script, and it’s not even a hall, fer cryin’ out loud! And that lake! I specifically said that the lake should be blue and sparkling clean…so it would look all the more real when it’s filled with French onion soup! Instead it’s all green and covered with algae, and probably full of icky bacteria. I mean, come on; I’m a robot and even I know algae and French onions don’t mix!
You know, for a budget of $100,000,000, I expected way better. I mean, what did they spend all of that money on? The cameras!? And where the heck is my film crew!? Ooh, when I find that agent of mine, I’m gonna--ew…what's that stench? It smells like some kind of weird combination of ammonia and spoiled milk! Yu-oh, hey, you must be one of the actors for my film! Nice to mee-wait a minute, you’re not Kevin Bacon! There weren’t even any zombies in the script! Now I see where all that money went: To hair and makeup! And what did they do with it? Just whizzed it right down their legs. I mean, look at what a lousy job they did on you: they made you look like you're actually decaying, with all your limbs fallin' off and stuff...
And now what do you want? What? You wanna be in the movie? Well, I’m sorry, but this is not a zombie movie. Maybe we could find a job for you behind the scenes-well, there’s no need to get crabby about it, ya jerk! Look, I don’t care if you were in Dawn of the Dead, you’re not gonna be in my movie! Huh? Ooh, why I oughta-listen buddy, one more smart remark like that and I’ll make sure that you never work in this town again! Ugh, actors: you give ‘em a few good lines and they think they own Hollywood.
Now, where was I? Oh yeah, and this location! I said that the camp was supposed to be in Kansas! Louisiana looks nothing like Kansas! Jeez! An-and they didn’t even bother to name this place! In the movie, there’s supposed to be a big sign that says “Welcome to Camp Wa-“oh, hey, there’s the sign! Well, they managed to get at least one thing right! Hmm…it says “Welcome to Camp F-“ HEY! Well, same to you buddy! And what sort of name is that for a camp! They might as well call it “Camp Suck the Life Out of Crow’s Script and Crush All His Hopes and Dreams!” Oh…that’s the last time I sign a contract with a studio that has the slogan, “We won’t make any changes to your script! Honest!” Hmph! Stupid film executives.
Poll Vote!
Character: Ushiromiya Maria
Series: Umineko no Naku Koro Ni
Character Age: 9
Canon: On a small island named Rokkenjima, an old man was dying. He was the head of a rich family and his relatives were trying to decide who would be the next leader, so the family members sailed to the island. Upon arrival, they found out that the local shrine had been destroyed by lightning--which was considered as an extremely bad omen. The omen came true when the family members found themselves trapped on the island due to a sudden typhoon. However, tragedy continued to strike and soon some went missing and others murdered. Who was behind all this and who could you trust when your own relatives are suspects?
Maria Ushiromiya is a cheerful and energetic young girl who tends to be too trusting of others. She is the youngest of the eleven guests on the island. Sometimes she speaks in third person, be heard making the noise "Uuu" and repeats things that have already been said. Maria enjoys drawing and she can be seen sketching anything, from objects of her imagination to her male cousins making-out. The nine year old girl's innocence can be her downfall, because people tend to take advantage of it.
Sample Post:
Maria never knew a place like this existed in the main house! Then again, Mama didn't like me snooping around. Maybe this is a surprise from Grandpa! He's built a new addition to the main house that attaches to the garden! I'm sure Grandpa won't mind me looking around a bit. After all, what he doesn't know won't hurt him!
Uu~ what's this? Do those trees have faces? It's painted on so well that it looks real! There are gorillas in the garden too! How nice that Grandpa didn't cage them in. Maria wants to try painting a picture of the gorilla with her new art kit. They'll look so much more colorful than they do now! I'll just grab this yellow marker over here and draw some pretty flowers on that rock...
....Hey, you're not a rock! Are you one of the people working on the garden? You sure don't look like a gardener. For one thing, I'm pretty sure gardeners don't have their eyeballs popping out of their sockets. Your clothes are all torn and dirty... not to mention you have a rotten smell around you too. When was the last time you took a bath? Here, maybe Maria can help you look prettier. People sometimes judge others by their looks, you know?
Here, stay still. I'll color on your face to make you more bright and cheerful looking! I hope pieces of your flesh won't fall on me... Orange eyeshadow would be nice, and purple colored cheeks would match it so well! There we go, all done! Let's look in Maria's mirror, shall we? ...You don't like it? I think it looks wonderful! Maybe after a haircut it'd look much better. A little trim here, a big snip there, and....Huh? What's this thing that fell off? ...I-It's your ear?!? Uu...I'm very sorry! I wasn't watching and....Well, don't worry! Everything will be fine!
I mean, what doesn't kill you makes your stronger...Right?
Poll Vote!
Character: Saotome Haruna
Series: Mahou Sensei Negima!
Age: 14
Canon: When sharing a homeroom class with a few dozen of the most extraordinary and magical 14 year old girls ever (and a few other things that at least vaguely resemble 14 year old girls), what is a simple, bespectacled manga artist to do in order to stand out? Well, besides being loud, overconfident, and sometimes too perceptive for her classmates’ comfort; that’s a given... Oh, I’ve got it! Be the biggest pervert in the class (and the second most likely student to become a dominatrix in the future)!
Yes, outstripping all 30 of her classmates in terms of ero ero and nosiness, Haruna has made it her life’s mission to find out everyone’s dirty little secrets and spread them to all the wrong people as soon as possible. And though she seems to have limited interest in her own romantic endeavors, she takes great pleasure (to the point of actually drooling with excitement at times) in sticking her nose in other people’s business and using her wild imagination to “help” in the most embarrassing and traumatizing ways possible. Fortunately for others, Haruna does actually care a lot about her friends and has some small amount of restraint when they’re involved, though her definition of “too far” is a bit narrower than most people’s. You know, seeing as it doesn’t include encouraging multiple girls to try to seduce a 10 year old boy. And then kissing him herself and using it to get a reaction out of everyone.
Sample Post:
“P- Please, Master, stop! I realize it was all my fault, and I’m sorry for what I’ve done! I’ll do anything you want, tell you anything! If you keep going like this, I won’t be fit for marriage anymore! Just, please, put down the whip! Anything but the whip! ...or the tentacles! Anything but the whip or the tentacles! No, Master, No!
IYAAAA~~N!!”
Something like that wouldn’t be too difficult to pull off, you know~, so spill the beans or this Paru-sama will turn the nightmare into a reality! Huhuhu~, you have a crush on Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Furry, don’t you, my little Zombie-chan~? Honestly, that wasn’t very nice of you to keep from me after we’ve become such good friends today, and I’m afraid I’ll never be able to forgive you. Not in a million years. Not even when your flesh has all rotted right off your bones, and your man over there has descendants who’ve evolved into higher lifeforms.
Well, maybe not that long. I like to think that I’m an understanding person, after all. I’m sure that there were all kinds of extenuating circumstances, like you not having a tongue, or like the fact that gorillas and zombies just aren’t meant to be together. You’re from two different worlds, like the Montagues and the Capulets, the Greeks and the Trojans, the Jets and the Sharks, or the Ninjas and the Pirates! And it would be horrible if I was to let it slip to anyone, or even worse, if you were to act on your feelings, right, Drooliet~?
NAÏVE!!
If you think something like that should stop you, you’re far too naïve! You have to forget about all of that and go make your move before it’s too late! Sure, the star-crossed lovers in the stories always die in horrible ways, but it’s still romantic like you want your relationship to be, right~? Plus, you’re already dead~! So who cares if you two get stabbed or poisoned or buried alive or any of that stuff! It’s not like it can affect you! ...oh, wait. That Romeo Erectus is still alive for now, isn’t he~?
Oh, well! Forget about all that! All you have to do is get him alone and find a tongue to shove in his mouth. Or two, or three even! Guys love that kind of stuff! Then he’ll be yours forever! And don’t worry, you can trust Oneesan on this one~!
Poll Vote!
Character: Joushima Ken
Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Character Age: 14
Canon: Sawada Tsunayoshi was nothing but an ordinary boy who failed at just about everything he did. But one day a home tutor named Reborn showed up at his house and announced that he was going to be training him to become the Tenth boss of the Vongola mafia family. That would be weird enough all on its own, but add to that the fact that the tutor's an infant with a penchant for shooting Tsuna and recruiting his friends into the family (whether they realize it or not), and Tsuna's life will never be the same again! As he tries to get used to his new life as future mafia boss, Tsuna and his new family find themselves going head-to-head with all sorts of enemies.
One of these enemies is Rokudou Mukuro, and his devoted subordinates, Kakimoto Chikusa (fondly nicknamed "Kakipi") and Joushima Ken. Both of them are completely loyal to Mukuro, and would do anything for him. Unlike Chikusa, who is quiet and mature, Ken is loud, fond of throwing nonsense sounds like 'pyon' into his speech, messy, and overall, animalistic. But this is all pretty fitting for someone whose fighting style involves swapping "cartridges" of different animal's teeth into his mouth to give him the physical characteristics of each animals. He calls these "channels": Kong Channel gives him a gorilla's size and strength, Wolf Channel gives him a wolf's speed and sense of smell, Opossum Channel lets him convincingly play dead, etc. Overall, Ken isn't very smart (for example, he thinks a box of strawberry gum is an adequate emergency food supply, because he eats it rather than just chewing it), but what he lacks in common sense, he makes up for in loyalty and persistence.
Sample Post:
Hyaa~~~ I thought this place looked pretty cool at first, but I guess I was wrong. Those rotten guys stumbling around all over the place weren't scary at all. They just fell right to pieces as soon as I attacked! One of 'em even fell apart from fear or somethin' the second I went into Rhino Channel! And that one doesn't even change the way I look that much! No fun at all, pyon. I thought maybe a place with a showy name like "Camp Fuck You Die" would at least have a decent challenge or two, but if that was the best this place's got, it looks like I'm gonna be super bored.
Even those gorillas weren't very interesting. It was pretty funny to see purple-haired gorillas, but no matter what color they are, gorillas are gorillas and I figured they'd put up a good fight. It would've been something to do, at least! And there was just me against ten of them, TEN! I knew I could take them, though~ I mean, check out my ...dananana... KONG CHANNEL! See that? I'm almost just like one of them now but BIGGER. ...Except that after they saw that, they started actin' really weird, with all that touching and grabbing and eeeaugh. I don't care if me'n'them ain't nothin' but mammals, I'm not doin' anything like that no matter what channel I'm in!
A quick switch to my Lion Channel showed 'em they better keep their hands to themselves, though! They ran away pretty fast after that, yelling something about getting in a car. I didn't think gorillas knew how to drive, pyon, but then again, I've didn't think they could talk either. There's a bunch of weird talking stuff here! Like I've also never seen talking birds before, but those bright colored ones are kinda nice, I guess. They gave me some gum, and it was pretty good, even if it was a little bit funny tasting and sort of made me dizzy. I definitely like the strawberry kind a lot better.
Anyways, your name's Marcy, isn't it? The birds told me all about you while I was eating my gum, pyon. They said people here think you're pretty scary, but you don't look so tough to me. I wonder if you have teeth... Just imagine it! Having a Marcy Channel would be super awesome~ I could do lots of stuff with a bunch of long arms like that... like grab more gum and poke Kakipi and play video games all at the same time! Huh? What d'you mean that's not the right way to use them? Gehh! No, you don't have to show me! Stop it, oi!
I hope this works... OPOSSUM CHANNEL!
Poll Vote!