(no subject)
HELLO FRIENDS, they didn't tow my car. ♥ Have more apps, and since one Sora got the majority of the vote but didn't get the 70% straight out, we're doing that thing where you revisit the app one more time on its own. Oh dups, we salute thee.
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Hiyuu Tatsuma
Series: Tokyo Majin Gakuen Kenpuchou: Tou
Character Age: 18
Canon: Tokyo Majin is the occasionally convoluted tale of
Hiyuu Tatsuma, a mysterious transfer student to a high school in
Shinjuku, Tokyo, and the large variety of friends he makes. The people
he meets in the show are all united by one ability - the awakening of
the 'Dragon Veins', which establish themselves as rather cool looking
tattoos and then give them the sort of incredible warrior abilities
that you can only expect from a shounen anime. Through these
abilities, they become friends. With the Dragon Veins, Tatsuma and his
friends begin to fight against 'oni', which are basically zombie
demons who can possess normal human beings and lead them to terrible
ends, and the people who can control them. As Tatsuma and company hone
their skills, their enemies shift from oni to oni controllers to
assassins to, finally, the BIG BAD!!1! who is responsible for all of
the events in the series. It's circular like that.
Tatsuma is a very simple boy, in many respects. Adopted at an early
age by a kind family, he was treated as a social pariah by people his
age for the tattoos on his hands and feet, which he was born with. It
turns out the power he holds in his body, with the assistance of the
Dragon Veins, is capable of saving the entire world. He's the
strongest of the people chosen by the Dragon Veins, fighting only with
his fists. You'd think a person like that would find some joy in
violence. However, Tatsuma was taught - and firmly upholds - the
concept that violence is unnecessary. He's a rather sweet, odd and
quiet boy - from fighting someone only up to the point where they
introduce themselves to deciding to take the ghost of a girl he knows
is dead home, Tatsuma does what would be the strangest, most illogical
things. But he has been known to forgive sins with milk, and that's
what matters.
Sample Post:
Mister Zombie, it's nice to meet you.
"Welcome to Camp Fuck You Die, Louisiana"? I was told that
everyone in America is a zombie because of caffeine. As expected,
then. Mister Zombie, I was wandering by the tree that has underwear on
it when I found the personal ad you wrote on the thongs. You should
have used the briefs, there's more space. I don't know if you'd want
me to be your spokesperson. But, if you need one so badly that you're
willing to "give your right arm", I wouldn't mind becoming the head of
the Citizens Against Zombies Abuse campaign. I don't know much about
these things, but I know how hard it can be to make friends, when
you're different to everyone else. It won't take up too much of my
time.
With your permission, then, I think my first act as your spokesperson
will be to ask you some questions. It's important to understand the
people you like. What do you enjoy? I like meeting people, sometimes.
What do you mean, 'boom de yada boom de yada'? You see,
Mister Zombie, I like you, but I've fought a lot of people who look
like you before. The same face. The same maggots, too, though yours
are more fluorescent and yellow. We'll be alright, though, as long as
you're not hurting anyone. And - if it isn't too much, I'd like it if
that includes yourself. You're not meant to chew your fingernails that
far down. If you're hungry, let's find food. I always thought that if
I were to become a zombie, it would be hard to find things to eat and
drink. I thought it was just stereotype that made zombies only want to
eat brains, so you should prove me right. What else do you like to
eat? I have some pocky, here. They said it was a special flavour--
don't pull a face. It doesn't have the same effect, when you only have
half. Besides, it's delicious.
... you took to that better than I expected. It seems you think it has
a flavour. You might get along better with people, if you're not
asking them to give you their brain! Maybe if you take me to your
friends, they can all try it too. Weaning you all from brains, it can
be a project. I would wait for you to get them, but they're already
here, right? They've been following us from the start. You can come
out, now - and you should hand out the snacks, Mister Zombie. But I
didn't think zombies were the only people living here at this 'Camp'.
What happened to all the people? Isn't there at least one, who wants
to help you? That's really sad. I thought someone would be charitable.
Well, I'm here, now. I'll have a piece of pocky, too-- eurgh.
That isn't strawberry. ... I see how it is. The flavour is brain. You
lured me here so you could bite through my skull.
Well, it's quite thick. You'll have to bite harder. I knew that you
couldn't change, but I thought it would be worth it to try. I suppose
now we'll have to fight.
... I don't think expressing my anger through interpretative dance is
going to help, but thank you for the suggestion.
Poll Vote!
Character: Aizawa Kouichi.
Series: Nabari no Ou.
Character Age: 14.
Canon: It pays off to think ninjas are cooler than pirates. From their secret ninja world of Nabari, they influence everything. Fighting with jutsus (elemental attacks), they separate into different ninja villages according to specialized jutsus called hijutsus. The most powerful, the Shinrabanshou, dictates the King of Nabari. The recent holder is the indifferent Rokujou Miharu who wants nothing to do with ninjas. But this won’t keep him safe, so the pair of ninjas from his village-yes, all two of them-must band together and protect him from the greedy ninja group, Kairoushuu.
One of these ninjas is a classmate of Miharu’s, the enthusiastic Kouichi, who takes being a ninja very seriously. At first glance, Kouichi is a just a normal guy with glasses: he’s intelligent and even speaks somewhat blandly, especially when giving full lectures on arts at the drop of a hat. The most realistic when it comes to ninjaing, he understands that it’s more than embracing techniques. Sometimes, you need to kill to protect another. It’s only necessary for the ninja lifestyle. This rounded attitude often makes him the fall-guy of the group. Need someone to take a hit? That’s Kouichi. He’ll shrug it off and carry on, even if you’ve punched him in the face fifteen times. It won’t break his smile.
[spoiler] Kouichi revealed that he’s an immortal creature kept alive by the wisdom from the Shinrabashou. Despite being alive for several centuries, he maintains his faith in humanity. His personal interest in Miharu is because he wishes to finally die after living centuries waiting for that opportunity to be “released” from a lonely life. He’s shown himself to be an owl, which may contribute to his sage-like disposition and patience when it comes to humans. [/spoiler]
Sample Post:
Good evening, toucans of the village of Camp Fuck You Die, and welcome to this evening’s lecture on the usage of jutsus in the destruction of the undead creatures known as “zombies.” There are numerous methods on how to handle these creatures, but I’ll be covering a method specially developed by ninjas to identify and handle them! Don’t be wary about destroying them. These creatures may be willing to offer an arm and a leg for your brains, but it’s not an innocent trade! You must not be afraid of bringing them to the end of their lives. Give them peace from their aimless lives, not a piece of your mind, and use the special techniques outlined this evening.
The first step to using these jutsus is to understand them and apply them in this rural setting. As budding ninjas, you’ll need to appreciate and embrace the art form you’ve undertaken! Merely understanding how you use jutsus is one aspect. You must also be in touch with the elements of life: gold, water, wood, fire, and earth! And of course, these are a part of you, as well. … You shouldn’t start picking at your feathers to look for the gold, as it’s not that easy to find. This isn’t the time for bathing, either, but as long as you keep listening! As I was saying, the five elements of life are a part of lifeforms. The zombies are lacking all of them! By identifying this, you will be able to realize where they’re vulnerable. Do not be hasty in making the decision to move to this step. Many living creatures in this village may continue living after being knocked down! Both the gorillas and goats are known to be saved on occasion given how others respond to their bad touching! Cats are fine examples, as well, with their nine lives. Therefore, I recommend thorough verification before you strike.
Now that we’ve laid down the basics, we’re ready to move into the jutsus themselves … I see you’ve finished bathing, but you shouldn’t turn around and fly away at this point! You may be doubtful, but I swear on my life as a ninja that even toucans are able to perform these techniques. You may think “oh really” in response to that, but yes, really, you will be able to manage it! Seriously, I have no doubt that this will be as simple as taking flight! A few have flown away already. … I’ll need to carry on for the ones remaining! Don’t worry, because you’ll understand after my demonstration.
The technique itself has three simple steps! Step one: cut a hole in the zombie. Step two: put your jutsu in-I see from the way you’re flying toward me with those whirlwinds, that you may not need this display! But be careful before you lose control and-
… send flying me into the water. I feel a tentacle already, and I can’t say I’m prepared to demonstrate how to handle this situation.
Poll Vote!
Character: Elizabeth
Series: Persona 3: FES
Character age: Appearance roughly 18
Canon:
Persona 3: The game where a bunch of colour-coded teenagers with mysterious potential yell catchphrases while fighting evil to save the world... By shooting themselves in the head in the 25th hour of the day. A game filled with wacky places, one of importance is the Blue Velvet room, an elevator cross room that resides in the space between mind and reality. In this room lives an assistant known as Elizabeth, who also doubles as your typical RPG quest giver.
Elizabeth is quite fascinated with the outside world, but her knowledge comes mainly from books and because of this she often misunderstands the nature of modern things. Not that that slows her down at all. She enthusiastically and cheerfully throws herself into new activities, from sacrificing a million yen to a shopping centre fountain for wishes to exploring the world and it's dastardly traps (escalators and do not enter signs), often while monologuing on the situation from her own rather unique viewpoint. Altogether Elizabeth is a happy, intelligent, eloquent and really, really strange girl, who enjoys the normal hobbies of a girl her age: Dancing, dating, collecting the body parts of monsters and making new memories.
Sample post:
At first I doubted the brochure. It promised a unique experience, a holiday and place to fulfill my duties that no other camp could offer- But now, as I tour this place, I see it was the truth. No other place I know of has such features: I cannot help but admire the work that has gone into this, and the imagination of it's creator.
Look at this tree, decorated- No, growing undergarments. Nature and commercial enterprise, fused in such a delightful manner. It offers dignity, but at what cost? What does it gain in return for it's offering? What dangers do people blindly court, carrying these seeds? I have so many questions that I can scarcely wait to discover the answers.
And yes... This is a shack! A poorly built home, a public indication of one's acceptance of nature and invitation of... Congress. Yes, just staring at it, I can almost hear the strains of that romantic love song. And surrounding us, their calls for brain unheeded, are zombies, the perversion of life itself. The remnants of the grand death that awaits nearly all, voyeurs on the little death. How very unusual! Although, I should say the attempted le petite mort, for the rules of this place are against bringing true life into being. That is a job for the Moogles, those grand white bears who are so easily courted with a few sweet words.
Speaking of courting, are those green tentacles I see in the distance? A tentacle monster, a kraken from the depths of the darkest ocean, in a summer camp, awaiting in the delightfully green waters for unsuspecting victims and hungry takoyaki cooks. Such a grand sight, it inspires me to poetry...
Below the glowing of the smiling moon,
Far far away from her abysmal home
The ancient, endless, invading loon,
The kraketh waiteth: endless people moan
About her bottomless hunger; her tentacles wait
Huge green limbs, delicious food with crumb,
Of whom people warn 'stay away', lest there be tentacle raep
For this grand monster would tap even your mom.
...Perhaps I will improve my poetry, later. After all, this camp is a glorious feast of sights, and sounds, and so many new things to learn, surely it will inspire great literature within me. No wonder so many people stay past the end of summer.
Poll Vote!
Character: Bandou Mitsuru
Series: Air Gear
Character Age: 16
Canon: Air Gear is a shounen manga where high tech rollerblades called Air Trek (AT) use animu physics to let riders practically fly through the sky. And of course, the boys are all over that like gravy on potatoes and proceed to form gang-like teams and battle each other over AT parts, territory and the vivid delusions of honor they hold as "storm riders." One such team, aptly named Behemoth, was a thousand strong and felled ten puny teams with every sway of its tusks. Among the top lackeys at their leader's beck and call was Bandou Mitsuru, the Cyclops Hammer.
Mitsuru's devotion to the team and its leader is like that of a rabid puppy. Also, he's so badass and attached to his title that he got tattoos on the back of his hands. Surely, they give him a punching strength over 9000! Gar bitch right here. And though he comes off like the calm, cool, collected type, this is only a facade. He quickly throws the nastiest, most brutal hissy fits if you piss him off. Diss Behemoth? He'll punch your face in. Diss his leader? He'll send you flying across the street. Diss his precious dorky art bike Mammoth, the one with tusks that's lit up like a miniature carnival? Ask if there's music to go with that kiddy ride and it's Stop, Hammer Time! Oh, did we mention he's gullible and easily tricked? It's instant entertainment! (Just remember to dodge.) The fun never stops!
Now that Behemoth got SERVED for DINNER, Mitsuru has gone from destroying cute little innocent storm riders in Cube matches to dorking things up with his buddies. Not so secretly, he is also trying to replicate his leader's legend with a team of his own.
Sample Post:
I'm used to dealing with those who can't appreciate the art of deco bikes. People gawk and stare. They flick or poke with their fingers. They give me funny looks and voice their unwanted opinion. This is nothing new. I always show them quickly. See these tusks here? They are like the tusks of the mighty behemoth. A lot of pride weighs on them. You do not! Touch! Mammoth! Provoking it means provoking me. I tell them, you don't want that. I repeat it with my fist if they don't get it the first few times. Heh. Most people know how to listen. Most learn quickly.
Then again, most people have brains. They don't lurch around aimlessly like escapees from the intensive care ward, oozing fluids all over the sidewalk and all over Mammoth's flanks. That's just how a small crowd of 'people' like this greeted me on my way out of the arcade earlier. One of them almost broke a tusk. Another was fiddling with the lighting display. A third had smeared some unknown... disgustingness on the seat.
How dare they.
Words of warning proved useless; I was left with my fists to defend my pride. Couldn't handle the hospital food any longer? I don't care! Drooling on the bike only earned them a fist in the stomach and a free flight across the street. That taught them to desecrate what is mine! I never expected to see each and every one of them stagger upright once more, lurching toward me with fewer limbs than they started out with and flanked by newly joining friends. One had the gall to climb onto the seat. That did it. Time for the Headless Waltz, zombie SCUM! Time to place bets which way the heads will roll!
I ran up, hammer fist swung back in rage, when all of a sudden something caught my foot. My fist met the concrete before the rest of me did. From my crater all I could see was that zombie MAKING OFF WITH MY BIKE! WHEN I GET IT BACK I AM PUTTING THE PEDAL TO THE METAL AND SEVERING ALL OF THEM FROM THEIR SOURCE OF AGONY! They'll sleep better at night, without those heads of theirs! GAH! Heh, those stupid zombies, how dare they use my back as a bridge for crossing! I'll CRUSH THEM!
All that was hours ago. Don't ask me how I found myself in this... tar pit of a swamp. It's late, it's gross out here, my AT wheels are clogged to the core, and I'm sick and tired of chasing Mammoth down.
The telling of Bandou Mitsuru's Big Adventure will have to wait.
No, it doesn't go perfect with marshmallows roasting over an open fire.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurenai Wataru
Series: Kamen Rider Kiva
Character Age: ~20
Canon: Do you wake up every morning feeling like your life is missing something? Yearning for the days of your childhood, which seemed so much more fulfilled? Perhaps what's missing is a cracky sentai show, complete with masked fighters and men in rubber suits! Kamen Rider Kiva is, in fact, a lot like Power Rangers, only instead of intergalactic space invaders, Kiva fights the Fangire, a race of monsters that appear human until they feed, draining the life force from their victims like vampires. Ageless and always hungry, the Fangire are a danger to the human race.
The 'ranger' in question is actually a boy named Kurenai Wataru by day and a high-kicking masked rider named Kiva by... well, also by day, but you get the point. Accompanied by his Henshin device, Kivat, and a cast of somewhat-friendly monsters, Wataru faces off against the Fangire on an episodic basis. These monsters, however, often seem less threatening to poor Wataru than his everyday life. A naive pushover who has trouble saying no to people (he has five newspaper subscriptions), Wataru is shy and awkward, hesitant and anxious. He previously spent most of his days sheltered, locked in his house to make the ideal violin, an endeavor which turns into an obsession to find the proper color for his violin varnish. His life of seclusion, however, ended abruptly when he accidentally fell into the company of a group of Fangire hunters... who are oblivious to his secret identity even when he admits to it! Who would suspect, after all, that a hapless social retard like Wataru is really the fiercest Fangire hunter that ever lived? No, most everyone who meets Wataru just wants to help him grow a spine, so that he can stand on his own in the world. He's getting there, but it's a long road! Will you be next to join the cause?
((Note: Shizuka is Wataru's "keeper," the one most often encouraging him to get out and do things.))
Sample Post:
Violin, check. Cue cards, check. Map, check -- oof!
I'm sorry, Gorilla-san, let me help you up! I wasn't looking where I was going, I'm very sorry. B-but if you could tell me where B Stage is, I'm supposed to be playing a concert for the music camp. This ... is the music camp, isn't it? I didn't see any stages on the map, and I thought I heard someone singing warm-up scales before, but the only thing around was a toucan. Aah, there's an avian choir getting Main Stage today? I see now, that's very impressive! This must be an amazing camp if they teach even the birds to sing, and it must have taken someone a long time to teach them all the words. But ... is a song about your girlfriend's "pudendum" really appropriate for children, Gorilla-san? Not that I'm anyone to judge.
O-ow, my nose! P-please forgive me, Gorilla-san ... I deserved that punch, I was being impertinent. Accept my apologies! I'll be going to B Stage, now.
Is this my audience? Well ... thank you all for coming, I'm very flattered that so many of you came to see me! M-my name is Kurenai Wataru, and uhm. I-I am here to play you a song. My music will warm your hearts, like if you took them ... out and ... put them in a microwave. But don't worry, they won't ... explode. These aren't the cue cards Shizuka wrote for me. Uhm. Anyway, please listen! A-as soon as I tune my violin, please forgive me for not being prepared. I'm sure you would be leaving if you still had your legs, but thank you anyway! Here, let me tell you about the song I'm going to play. It's a classical piece by -- er. Excuse me, Zombie-san. I'm glad music brings out such passion in you, but could you wait until the performance is over? Maybe you spent too much time listening to the toucans. T-thank you. I'm just about ready, please let me know what you think.
Oh no. What happened to my bow? Uhm, no, Zombie-san... the violin is played with a bow, not a spine, so I don't need to borrow yours -- wait! This color, this gloss -- it's just the shade for my violin varnish. I'm trying to make the perfect color, see, and I think these bones will definitely work! Are you going to need it very soon? I'll boil out the color and you can have it right back. But I'm going to need a big pot. There was a soup kitchen on my map, I bet their pots are huge, and --
What was that? It's part of a charity organization? Y-yes, I'll take a brochure. Aah, Zombie-san plays the violin too! I don't know if music is what's missing from the lives of orphans and the homeless, but -- ow! I'm sorry, I was being impertinent again. As for volunteering ... You can refuse, Wataru! Be strong! N-no! I don't really have time to volunteer, uhm ... I'm sorry ...
... yes, Zombie-san. I will subscribe to your newsletter.
Poll Vote!
Character: Sora
Series: Kingdom Hearts
Age: ~15
Canon: Kingdom Hearts is the video game lovechild of Disney and Square-Enix, in which your plucky young hero is taken from his idyllic island home and thrust into a destiny to save the world(s) from a great and terrible Darkness: creatures called the Heartless, that swarm across the worlds and take the hearts of people. The twist comes from the host of familiar faces from those two entertainment giants. The rest of the cast ranges from Disney old-timers like Mickey Mouse to Final Fantasy familiars like Cloud Strife, and everyone in between; name it, and it probably has passing mention -- the Nightmare Before Christmas, Final Fantasy X, and more.
As the Keyblade Master, the chosen hero of the light, Sora's got all the things that make a good hero -- he's earnest and friendly and outgoing, always willing to help someone in need. He's also a kid, though, prone to bouts of competitiveness and surefire cockiness. He knows what works for him and goes for that first; for him, a challenge is always something to be met wholeheartedly. Nothing gets him down for long -- no matter how bleak the situation, Sora's always ready to pick himself up again and tackle his problems head-on and knock them down.
NOTE: In Kingdom Hearts, moogles are not savepoints, they're synthesizers -- bring them raw materials, and they'll create items out of it. Sora has a list in his inventory to know what he can create given what he has.
Sample app:
Man, I feel a bit cheated. I thought this place would be a fun challenge, but it all looks like false advertising. The readings said it had battle level of "over nine thousand," but all I've seen so far are a bunch of guys who look like they wandered out of Halloweentown and got lost. If you let 'em get too close, they get a bit bitey, but a few good hits and they just go down. Pretty easy fight, as these things go! I mean, I guess that's not such a bad thing, since I'm here on my own, but still! I was hoping for a little bit more than what I got. Though who knows, maybe they dropped some useful stuff. Let's see--
Huh, a Rotting Shard? Where am I ever gonna use something like that? I've never seen that on any lists before ... oh, well, probably wouldn't hurt to keep a few, just in case. Maybe it's a super-rare sort of material, so if I don't stock up now, I'm just gonna have to come back later. If I'm lucky, I'll find a moogle on my way out and it'll be able to give me pointers. And if I'm really lucky I'll find one soon, because phew! These Shards kinda stink. Bet it's a potion or something else that tastes just as nasty, those can be made out of anything.
--Oh, hey, there we go! Looks kinda different, but a moogle's a moogle. Excuse me for a moment, could you tell me what I can get with this list of stuff? I'm running kinda light, so it'd be really helpful if you'd lend me a hand! ... Er, all right, maybe not that literally -- you can have it back. No, really, sorry about that! Guess I got a little carried away, since I'm getting a bit hungry. You wouldn't happen to know where I could get something to eat-- you'll make something? Really? That'd be awesome! And soup sounds like it'll hit the spot! Though, uh, are you really going to be putting those Rotting Shards into it? I mean, you do know where those have been, right? That's kinda ... well. I'm never complaining about cafeteria food ever again. Okay, uh, never mind that, could you tell me the way out of here? I really gotta be on my way, there are people waiting for me.
All right, I take back what I said before, this place is definitely weird enough to be worth exploring. It looks like it's got everything, even if the moogles are kinda weird. Which means now if everything goes like it's supposed to, there should be some really big guy hanging around, as a final test ... Oh, hey. Tentacles. That definitely brings back memories. Lots of 'em.
... I really hope I don't have to get on that Hydra's back just to get out.
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closed!
Character: Hiyuu Tatsuma
Series: Tokyo Majin Gakuen Kenpuchou: Tou
Character Age: 18
Canon: Tokyo Majin is the occasionally convoluted tale of
Hiyuu Tatsuma, a mysterious transfer student to a high school in
Shinjuku, Tokyo, and the large variety of friends he makes. The people
he meets in the show are all united by one ability - the awakening of
the 'Dragon Veins', which establish themselves as rather cool looking
tattoos and then give them the sort of incredible warrior abilities
that you can only expect from a shounen anime. Through these
abilities, they become friends. With the Dragon Veins, Tatsuma and his
friends begin to fight against 'oni', which are basically zombie
demons who can possess normal human beings and lead them to terrible
ends, and the people who can control them. As Tatsuma and company hone
their skills, their enemies shift from oni to oni controllers to
assassins to, finally, the BIG BAD!!1! who is responsible for all of
the events in the series. It's circular like that.
Tatsuma is a very simple boy, in many respects. Adopted at an early
age by a kind family, he was treated as a social pariah by people his
age for the tattoos on his hands and feet, which he was born with. It
turns out the power he holds in his body, with the assistance of the
Dragon Veins, is capable of saving the entire world. He's the
strongest of the people chosen by the Dragon Veins, fighting only with
his fists. You'd think a person like that would find some joy in
violence. However, Tatsuma was taught - and firmly upholds - the
concept that violence is unnecessary. He's a rather sweet, odd and
quiet boy - from fighting someone only up to the point where they
introduce themselves to deciding to take the ghost of a girl he knows
is dead home, Tatsuma does what would be the strangest, most illogical
things. But he has been known to forgive sins with milk, and that's
what matters.
Sample Post:
Mister Zombie, it's nice to meet you.
"Welcome to Camp Fuck You Die, Louisiana"? I was told that
everyone in America is a zombie because of caffeine. As expected,
then. Mister Zombie, I was wandering by the tree that has underwear on
it when I found the personal ad you wrote on the thongs. You should
have used the briefs, there's more space. I don't know if you'd want
me to be your spokesperson. But, if you need one so badly that you're
willing to "give your right arm", I wouldn't mind becoming the head of
the Citizens Against Zombies Abuse campaign. I don't know much about
these things, but I know how hard it can be to make friends, when
you're different to everyone else. It won't take up too much of my
time.
With your permission, then, I think my first act as your spokesperson
will be to ask you some questions. It's important to understand the
people you like. What do you enjoy? I like meeting people, sometimes.
What do you mean, 'boom de yada boom de yada'? You see,
Mister Zombie, I like you, but I've fought a lot of people who look
like you before. The same face. The same maggots, too, though yours
are more fluorescent and yellow. We'll be alright, though, as long as
you're not hurting anyone. And - if it isn't too much, I'd like it if
that includes yourself. You're not meant to chew your fingernails that
far down. If you're hungry, let's find food. I always thought that if
I were to become a zombie, it would be hard to find things to eat and
drink. I thought it was just stereotype that made zombies only want to
eat brains, so you should prove me right. What else do you like to
eat? I have some pocky, here. They said it was a special flavour--
don't pull a face. It doesn't have the same effect, when you only have
half. Besides, it's delicious.
... you took to that better than I expected. It seems you think it has
a flavour. You might get along better with people, if you're not
asking them to give you their brain! Maybe if you take me to your
friends, they can all try it too. Weaning you all from brains, it can
be a project. I would wait for you to get them, but they're already
here, right? They've been following us from the start. You can come
out, now - and you should hand out the snacks, Mister Zombie. But I
didn't think zombies were the only people living here at this 'Camp'.
What happened to all the people? Isn't there at least one, who wants
to help you? That's really sad. I thought someone would be charitable.
Well, I'm here, now. I'll have a piece of pocky, too-- eurgh.
That isn't strawberry. ... I see how it is. The flavour is brain. You
lured me here so you could bite through my skull.
Well, it's quite thick. You'll have to bite harder. I knew that you
couldn't change, but I thought it would be worth it to try. I suppose
now we'll have to fight.
... I don't think expressing my anger through interpretative dance is
going to help, but thank you for the suggestion.
Poll Vote!
Character: Aizawa Kouichi.
Series: Nabari no Ou.
Character Age: 14.
Canon: It pays off to think ninjas are cooler than pirates. From their secret ninja world of Nabari, they influence everything. Fighting with jutsus (elemental attacks), they separate into different ninja villages according to specialized jutsus called hijutsus. The most powerful, the Shinrabanshou, dictates the King of Nabari. The recent holder is the indifferent Rokujou Miharu who wants nothing to do with ninjas. But this won’t keep him safe, so the pair of ninjas from his village-yes, all two of them-must band together and protect him from the greedy ninja group, Kairoushuu.
One of these ninjas is a classmate of Miharu’s, the enthusiastic Kouichi, who takes being a ninja very seriously. At first glance, Kouichi is a just a normal guy with glasses: he’s intelligent and even speaks somewhat blandly, especially when giving full lectures on arts at the drop of a hat. The most realistic when it comes to ninjaing, he understands that it’s more than embracing techniques. Sometimes, you need to kill to protect another. It’s only necessary for the ninja lifestyle. This rounded attitude often makes him the fall-guy of the group. Need someone to take a hit? That’s Kouichi. He’ll shrug it off and carry on, even if you’ve punched him in the face fifteen times. It won’t break his smile.
[spoiler] Kouichi revealed that he’s an immortal creature kept alive by the wisdom from the Shinrabashou. Despite being alive for several centuries, he maintains his faith in humanity. His personal interest in Miharu is because he wishes to finally die after living centuries waiting for that opportunity to be “released” from a lonely life. He’s shown himself to be an owl, which may contribute to his sage-like disposition and patience when it comes to humans. [/spoiler]
Sample Post:
Good evening, toucans of the village of Camp Fuck You Die, and welcome to this evening’s lecture on the usage of jutsus in the destruction of the undead creatures known as “zombies.” There are numerous methods on how to handle these creatures, but I’ll be covering a method specially developed by ninjas to identify and handle them! Don’t be wary about destroying them. These creatures may be willing to offer an arm and a leg for your brains, but it’s not an innocent trade! You must not be afraid of bringing them to the end of their lives. Give them peace from their aimless lives, not a piece of your mind, and use the special techniques outlined this evening.
The first step to using these jutsus is to understand them and apply them in this rural setting. As budding ninjas, you’ll need to appreciate and embrace the art form you’ve undertaken! Merely understanding how you use jutsus is one aspect. You must also be in touch with the elements of life: gold, water, wood, fire, and earth! And of course, these are a part of you, as well. … You shouldn’t start picking at your feathers to look for the gold, as it’s not that easy to find. This isn’t the time for bathing, either, but as long as you keep listening! As I was saying, the five elements of life are a part of lifeforms. The zombies are lacking all of them! By identifying this, you will be able to realize where they’re vulnerable. Do not be hasty in making the decision to move to this step. Many living creatures in this village may continue living after being knocked down! Both the gorillas and goats are known to be saved on occasion given how others respond to their bad touching! Cats are fine examples, as well, with their nine lives. Therefore, I recommend thorough verification before you strike.
Now that we’ve laid down the basics, we’re ready to move into the jutsus themselves … I see you’ve finished bathing, but you shouldn’t turn around and fly away at this point! You may be doubtful, but I swear on my life as a ninja that even toucans are able to perform these techniques. You may think “oh really” in response to that, but yes, really, you will be able to manage it! Seriously, I have no doubt that this will be as simple as taking flight! A few have flown away already. … I’ll need to carry on for the ones remaining! Don’t worry, because you’ll understand after my demonstration.
The technique itself has three simple steps! Step one: cut a hole in the zombie. Step two: put your jutsu in-I see from the way you’re flying toward me with those whirlwinds, that you may not need this display! But be careful before you lose control and-
… send flying me into the water. I feel a tentacle already, and I can’t say I’m prepared to demonstrate how to handle this situation.
Poll Vote!
Character: Elizabeth
Series: Persona 3: FES
Character age: Appearance roughly 18
Canon:
Persona 3: The game where a bunch of colour-coded teenagers with mysterious potential yell catchphrases while fighting evil to save the world... By shooting themselves in the head in the 25th hour of the day. A game filled with wacky places, one of importance is the Blue Velvet room, an elevator cross room that resides in the space between mind and reality. In this room lives an assistant known as Elizabeth, who also doubles as your typical RPG quest giver.
Elizabeth is quite fascinated with the outside world, but her knowledge comes mainly from books and because of this she often misunderstands the nature of modern things. Not that that slows her down at all. She enthusiastically and cheerfully throws herself into new activities, from sacrificing a million yen to a shopping centre fountain for wishes to exploring the world and it's dastardly traps (escalators and do not enter signs), often while monologuing on the situation from her own rather unique viewpoint. Altogether Elizabeth is a happy, intelligent, eloquent and really, really strange girl, who enjoys the normal hobbies of a girl her age: Dancing, dating, collecting the body parts of monsters and making new memories.
Sample post:
At first I doubted the brochure. It promised a unique experience, a holiday and place to fulfill my duties that no other camp could offer- But now, as I tour this place, I see it was the truth. No other place I know of has such features: I cannot help but admire the work that has gone into this, and the imagination of it's creator.
Look at this tree, decorated- No, growing undergarments. Nature and commercial enterprise, fused in such a delightful manner. It offers dignity, but at what cost? What does it gain in return for it's offering? What dangers do people blindly court, carrying these seeds? I have so many questions that I can scarcely wait to discover the answers.
And yes... This is a shack! A poorly built home, a public indication of one's acceptance of nature and invitation of... Congress. Yes, just staring at it, I can almost hear the strains of that romantic love song. And surrounding us, their calls for brain unheeded, are zombies, the perversion of life itself. The remnants of the grand death that awaits nearly all, voyeurs on the little death. How very unusual! Although, I should say the attempted le petite mort, for the rules of this place are against bringing true life into being. That is a job for the Moogles, those grand white bears who are so easily courted with a few sweet words.
Speaking of courting, are those green tentacles I see in the distance? A tentacle monster, a kraken from the depths of the darkest ocean, in a summer camp, awaiting in the delightfully green waters for unsuspecting victims and hungry takoyaki cooks. Such a grand sight, it inspires me to poetry...
Below the glowing of the smiling moon,
Far far away from her abysmal home
The ancient, endless, invading loon,
The kraketh waiteth: endless people moan
About her bottomless hunger; her tentacles wait
Huge green limbs, delicious food with crumb,
Of whom people warn 'stay away', lest there be tentacle raep
For this grand monster would tap even your mom.
...Perhaps I will improve my poetry, later. After all, this camp is a glorious feast of sights, and sounds, and so many new things to learn, surely it will inspire great literature within me. No wonder so many people stay past the end of summer.
Poll Vote!
Character: Bandou Mitsuru
Series: Air Gear
Character Age: 16
Canon: Air Gear is a shounen manga where high tech rollerblades called Air Trek (AT) use animu physics to let riders practically fly through the sky. And of course, the boys are all over that like gravy on potatoes and proceed to form gang-like teams and battle each other over AT parts, territory and the vivid delusions of honor they hold as "storm riders." One such team, aptly named Behemoth, was a thousand strong and felled ten puny teams with every sway of its tusks. Among the top lackeys at their leader's beck and call was Bandou Mitsuru, the Cyclops Hammer.
Mitsuru's devotion to the team and its leader is like that of a rabid puppy. Also, he's so badass and attached to his title that he got tattoos on the back of his hands. Surely, they give him a punching strength over 9000! Gar bitch right here. And though he comes off like the calm, cool, collected type, this is only a facade. He quickly throws the nastiest, most brutal hissy fits if you piss him off. Diss Behemoth? He'll punch your face in. Diss his leader? He'll send you flying across the street. Diss his precious dorky art bike Mammoth, the one with tusks that's lit up like a miniature carnival? Ask if there's music to go with that kiddy ride and it's Stop, Hammer Time! Oh, did we mention he's gullible and easily tricked? It's instant entertainment! (Just remember to dodge.) The fun never stops!
Now that Behemoth got SERVED for DINNER, Mitsuru has gone from destroying cute little innocent storm riders in Cube matches to dorking things up with his buddies. Not so secretly, he is also trying to replicate his leader's legend with a team of his own.
Sample Post:
I'm used to dealing with those who can't appreciate the art of deco bikes. People gawk and stare. They flick or poke with their fingers. They give me funny looks and voice their unwanted opinion. This is nothing new. I always show them quickly. See these tusks here? They are like the tusks of the mighty behemoth. A lot of pride weighs on them. You do not! Touch! Mammoth! Provoking it means provoking me. I tell them, you don't want that. I repeat it with my fist if they don't get it the first few times. Heh. Most people know how to listen. Most learn quickly.
Then again, most people have brains. They don't lurch around aimlessly like escapees from the intensive care ward, oozing fluids all over the sidewalk and all over Mammoth's flanks. That's just how a small crowd of 'people' like this greeted me on my way out of the arcade earlier. One of them almost broke a tusk. Another was fiddling with the lighting display. A third had smeared some unknown... disgustingness on the seat.
How dare they.
Words of warning proved useless; I was left with my fists to defend my pride. Couldn't handle the hospital food any longer? I don't care! Drooling on the bike only earned them a fist in the stomach and a free flight across the street. That taught them to desecrate what is mine! I never expected to see each and every one of them stagger upright once more, lurching toward me with fewer limbs than they started out with and flanked by newly joining friends. One had the gall to climb onto the seat. That did it. Time for the Headless Waltz, zombie SCUM! Time to place bets which way the heads will roll!
I ran up, hammer fist swung back in rage, when all of a sudden something caught my foot. My fist met the concrete before the rest of me did. From my crater all I could see was that zombie MAKING OFF WITH MY BIKE! WHEN I GET IT BACK I AM PUTTING THE PEDAL TO THE METAL AND SEVERING ALL OF THEM FROM THEIR SOURCE OF AGONY! They'll sleep better at night, without those heads of theirs! GAH! Heh, those stupid zombies, how dare they use my back as a bridge for crossing! I'll CRUSH THEM!
All that was hours ago. Don't ask me how I found myself in this... tar pit of a swamp. It's late, it's gross out here, my AT wheels are clogged to the core, and I'm sick and tired of chasing Mammoth down.
The telling of Bandou Mitsuru's Big Adventure will have to wait.
No, it doesn't go perfect with marshmallows roasting over an open fire.
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurenai Wataru
Series: Kamen Rider Kiva
Character Age: ~20
Canon: Do you wake up every morning feeling like your life is missing something? Yearning for the days of your childhood, which seemed so much more fulfilled? Perhaps what's missing is a cracky sentai show, complete with masked fighters and men in rubber suits! Kamen Rider Kiva is, in fact, a lot like Power Rangers, only instead of intergalactic space invaders, Kiva fights the Fangire, a race of monsters that appear human until they feed, draining the life force from their victims like vampires. Ageless and always hungry, the Fangire are a danger to the human race.
The 'ranger' in question is actually a boy named Kurenai Wataru by day and a high-kicking masked rider named Kiva by... well, also by day, but you get the point. Accompanied by his Henshin device, Kivat, and a cast of somewhat-friendly monsters, Wataru faces off against the Fangire on an episodic basis. These monsters, however, often seem less threatening to poor Wataru than his everyday life. A naive pushover who has trouble saying no to people (he has five newspaper subscriptions), Wataru is shy and awkward, hesitant and anxious. He previously spent most of his days sheltered, locked in his house to make the ideal violin, an endeavor which turns into an obsession to find the proper color for his violin varnish. His life of seclusion, however, ended abruptly when he accidentally fell into the company of a group of Fangire hunters... who are oblivious to his secret identity even when he admits to it! Who would suspect, after all, that a hapless social retard like Wataru is really the fiercest Fangire hunter that ever lived? No, most everyone who meets Wataru just wants to help him grow a spine, so that he can stand on his own in the world. He's getting there, but it's a long road! Will you be next to join the cause?
((Note: Shizuka is Wataru's "keeper," the one most often encouraging him to get out and do things.))
Sample Post:
Violin, check. Cue cards, check. Map, check -- oof!
I'm sorry, Gorilla-san, let me help you up! I wasn't looking where I was going, I'm very sorry. B-but if you could tell me where B Stage is, I'm supposed to be playing a concert for the music camp. This ... is the music camp, isn't it? I didn't see any stages on the map, and I thought I heard someone singing warm-up scales before, but the only thing around was a toucan. Aah, there's an avian choir getting Main Stage today? I see now, that's very impressive! This must be an amazing camp if they teach even the birds to sing, and it must have taken someone a long time to teach them all the words. But ... is a song about your girlfriend's "pudendum" really appropriate for children, Gorilla-san? Not that I'm anyone to judge.
O-ow, my nose! P-please forgive me, Gorilla-san ... I deserved that punch, I was being impertinent. Accept my apologies! I'll be going to B Stage, now.
Is this my audience? Well ... thank you all for coming, I'm very flattered that so many of you came to see me! M-my name is Kurenai Wataru, and uhm. I-I am here to play you a song. My music will warm your hearts, like if you took them ... out and ... put them in a microwave. But don't worry, they won't ... explode. These aren't the cue cards Shizuka wrote for me. Uhm. Anyway, please listen! A-as soon as I tune my violin, please forgive me for not being prepared. I'm sure you would be leaving if you still had your legs, but thank you anyway! Here, let me tell you about the song I'm going to play. It's a classical piece by -- er. Excuse me, Zombie-san. I'm glad music brings out such passion in you, but could you wait until the performance is over? Maybe you spent too much time listening to the toucans. T-thank you. I'm just about ready, please let me know what you think.
Oh no. What happened to my bow? Uhm, no, Zombie-san... the violin is played with a bow, not a spine, so I don't need to borrow yours -- wait! This color, this gloss -- it's just the shade for my violin varnish. I'm trying to make the perfect color, see, and I think these bones will definitely work! Are you going to need it very soon? I'll boil out the color and you can have it right back. But I'm going to need a big pot. There was a soup kitchen on my map, I bet their pots are huge, and --
What was that? It's part of a charity organization? Y-yes, I'll take a brochure. Aah, Zombie-san plays the violin too! I don't know if music is what's missing from the lives of orphans and the homeless, but -- ow! I'm sorry, I was being impertinent again. As for volunteering ... You can refuse, Wataru! Be strong! N-no! I don't really have time to volunteer, uhm ... I'm sorry ...
... yes, Zombie-san. I will subscribe to your newsletter.
Poll Vote!
Character: Sora
Series: Kingdom Hearts
Age: ~15
Canon: Kingdom Hearts is the video game lovechild of Disney and Square-Enix, in which your plucky young hero is taken from his idyllic island home and thrust into a destiny to save the world(s) from a great and terrible Darkness: creatures called the Heartless, that swarm across the worlds and take the hearts of people. The twist comes from the host of familiar faces from those two entertainment giants. The rest of the cast ranges from Disney old-timers like Mickey Mouse to Final Fantasy familiars like Cloud Strife, and everyone in between; name it, and it probably has passing mention -- the Nightmare Before Christmas, Final Fantasy X, and more.
As the Keyblade Master, the chosen hero of the light, Sora's got all the things that make a good hero -- he's earnest and friendly and outgoing, always willing to help someone in need. He's also a kid, though, prone to bouts of competitiveness and surefire cockiness. He knows what works for him and goes for that first; for him, a challenge is always something to be met wholeheartedly. Nothing gets him down for long -- no matter how bleak the situation, Sora's always ready to pick himself up again and tackle his problems head-on and knock them down.
NOTE: In Kingdom Hearts, moogles are not savepoints, they're synthesizers -- bring them raw materials, and they'll create items out of it. Sora has a list in his inventory to know what he can create given what he has.
Sample app:
Man, I feel a bit cheated. I thought this place would be a fun challenge, but it all looks like false advertising. The readings said it had battle level of "over nine thousand," but all I've seen so far are a bunch of guys who look like they wandered out of Halloweentown and got lost. If you let 'em get too close, they get a bit bitey, but a few good hits and they just go down. Pretty easy fight, as these things go! I mean, I guess that's not such a bad thing, since I'm here on my own, but still! I was hoping for a little bit more than what I got. Though who knows, maybe they dropped some useful stuff. Let's see--
Huh, a Rotting Shard? Where am I ever gonna use something like that? I've never seen that on any lists before ... oh, well, probably wouldn't hurt to keep a few, just in case. Maybe it's a super-rare sort of material, so if I don't stock up now, I'm just gonna have to come back later. If I'm lucky, I'll find a moogle on my way out and it'll be able to give me pointers. And if I'm really lucky I'll find one soon, because phew! These Shards kinda stink. Bet it's a potion or something else that tastes just as nasty, those can be made out of anything.
--Oh, hey, there we go! Looks kinda different, but a moogle's a moogle. Excuse me for a moment, could you tell me what I can get with this list of stuff? I'm running kinda light, so it'd be really helpful if you'd lend me a hand! ... Er, all right, maybe not that literally -- you can have it back. No, really, sorry about that! Guess I got a little carried away, since I'm getting a bit hungry. You wouldn't happen to know where I could get something to eat-- you'll make something? Really? That'd be awesome! And soup sounds like it'll hit the spot! Though, uh, are you really going to be putting those Rotting Shards into it? I mean, you do know where those have been, right? That's kinda ... well. I'm never complaining about cafeteria food ever again. Okay, uh, never mind that, could you tell me the way out of here? I really gotta be on my way, there are people waiting for me.
All right, I take back what I said before, this place is definitely weird enough to be worth exploring. It looks like it's got everything, even if the moogles are kinda weird. Which means now if everything goes like it's supposed to, there should be some really big guy hanging around, as a final test ... Oh, hey. Tentacles. That definitely brings back memories. Lots of 'em.
... I really hope I don't have to get on that Hydra's back just to get out.
Poll Vote!