!!!
So, apparently the last time I made a post was in October. The last time I made a non-secret post was in SEPTEMBER! HOLY CRAP! That's madness, because a bunch of stuff has happened since then!
Oooookay, so, since September:
I started working at Taco Bell, after having applied around for all too long without getting anything. I took the job out of desperation despite wanting to avoid working in food again. Sadly, Sunoco (a gas station REALLY close) called me very soon after I got hired at Taco Bell, but I didn't go in for the interview because I didn't know what he was talking about (I kept mishearing Steelco instead of Sunoco, so I told I was already okay.) So that was a shame, but Alex rationally reasoned that I'd probably get less hours there anyway, so I was better off with Taco Bell.
I continued to settle into the house in Thorold with Alex and Kaitlin, who continue to blow me away as amazing roommates and friends. Having to avoid damaging anything ever and the small feeling of walking on eggshells eventually did fade and now, while still careful, I feel comfortable and in control again. I got myself a cellphone instead of using my Mom's, in another step towards the same sought-after independence.
Meanwhile, I failed follow through with the same ideals as I let Alex and Kaitlin pay for most everything and lived recklessly (appreciatively, but still recklessly) like that for altogether too long, until one of my many late night talk with Alex in which he addressed the situation and laid it bare for me. Up until that point, he and Kaitlin had been affording me to continue to live as I was, providing that they were HELPING me to achieve something, and to strive forward. However, he felt, rightly so, that that wasn't the case. Like I said, this conversation was not uncommon for us. We must have had at least half a dozen since moving in until now. Kaitlin isn't ever involved in these conversations, and I'm not fully sure why that is. I think it might be that I'm Alex's friend more than Kaitlin's, so Alex feels the responsibility to fix the situation. But, I don't know. At any rate, since the most recent talk in January-ish (this having been the longest stretch since we had such a 'talk'), I feel pretty confident that I've been paying and doing my fair share of everything, WHILE striving my effectively than ever before towards progress, and am pretty glad for this.
Included in that process has been bringing a set of weights from the garage into my room and working out regularly. I've been feeling the difference and it's so great. As I remarked to Alex one day after a bike ride, "I'm retarded everyday I don't exercise." It's just so fantastic, such an upper. I also got a new, better job due to the fact that Taco Bell was unbelievably poorly run. So now I'm working at a call centre in St. Catharine's called Inteleservices. I've only been working there two weeks now, but it's a huge step in the right direction.
There is a lot more that's new, but now I'm getting tired and I think those are the larger things! So, lets end this post with the same subject matter as I started the last post!
I still am a crazy person for dreams. I dream disturbingly regularly about zombies in all sorts of situations. I also dreamt about getting back together with Heather last night, and as is always the case when that happens, my dream self knew something wasn't right about the situation. I think it's likely just that my subconscious is trying to find an outlet for feelings of love, but struggling to find the appropriate imagery and so throws in Heather with an asterix, heh.
Oooookay, so, since September:
I started working at Taco Bell, after having applied around for all too long without getting anything. I took the job out of desperation despite wanting to avoid working in food again. Sadly, Sunoco (a gas station REALLY close) called me very soon after I got hired at Taco Bell, but I didn't go in for the interview because I didn't know what he was talking about (I kept mishearing Steelco instead of Sunoco, so I told I was already okay.) So that was a shame, but Alex rationally reasoned that I'd probably get less hours there anyway, so I was better off with Taco Bell.
I continued to settle into the house in Thorold with Alex and Kaitlin, who continue to blow me away as amazing roommates and friends. Having to avoid damaging anything ever and the small feeling of walking on eggshells eventually did fade and now, while still careful, I feel comfortable and in control again. I got myself a cellphone instead of using my Mom's, in another step towards the same sought-after independence.
Meanwhile, I failed follow through with the same ideals as I let Alex and Kaitlin pay for most everything and lived recklessly (appreciatively, but still recklessly) like that for altogether too long, until one of my many late night talk with Alex in which he addressed the situation and laid it bare for me. Up until that point, he and Kaitlin had been affording me to continue to live as I was, providing that they were HELPING me to achieve something, and to strive forward. However, he felt, rightly so, that that wasn't the case. Like I said, this conversation was not uncommon for us. We must have had at least half a dozen since moving in until now. Kaitlin isn't ever involved in these conversations, and I'm not fully sure why that is. I think it might be that I'm Alex's friend more than Kaitlin's, so Alex feels the responsibility to fix the situation. But, I don't know. At any rate, since the most recent talk in January-ish (this having been the longest stretch since we had such a 'talk'), I feel pretty confident that I've been paying and doing my fair share of everything, WHILE striving my effectively than ever before towards progress, and am pretty glad for this.
Included in that process has been bringing a set of weights from the garage into my room and working out regularly. I've been feeling the difference and it's so great. As I remarked to Alex one day after a bike ride, "I'm retarded everyday I don't exercise." It's just so fantastic, such an upper. I also got a new, better job due to the fact that Taco Bell was unbelievably poorly run. So now I'm working at a call centre in St. Catharine's called Inteleservices. I've only been working there two weeks now, but it's a huge step in the right direction.
There is a lot more that's new, but now I'm getting tired and I think those are the larger things! So, lets end this post with the same subject matter as I started the last post!
I still am a crazy person for dreams. I dream disturbingly regularly about zombies in all sorts of situations. I also dreamt about getting back together with Heather last night, and as is always the case when that happens, my dream self knew something wasn't right about the situation. I think it's likely just that my subconscious is trying to find an outlet for feelings of love, but struggling to find the appropriate imagery and so throws in Heather with an asterix, heh.