Fic: The Realm of You, 16/24
Title: The Realm of You
Part: 16/24
Genre: Big Time Rush - Drama / Angst
Pairings: Logan/Kendall, Kendall/Jo
Details: AU, Slash
Rating: MA/NC17
Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content
Post Word Count: 1007
Status: WIP
Summary: From friendship, to love, to something else entirely. When secrets are all they have, what is left when their lives become an open book? "I have no life but this."
Masterlist
“Kendall,” Gustavo says, “come talk to me.”
“We’re practicing these harmonies,” Kendall replies, “can’t it wait?” He looks to his friends, at Logan.
“No, Dog, it can’t.” Gustavo’s voice rises. He punches a thumb over his shoulder. “They can practice their parts. Get in the hallway, now.”
Kendall’s stomach knots; he takes a thick swallow. Logan catches his eye, passes a look of encouragement. Kendall’s heart plummets further. He has a good idea what this conversation will be about.
Things have been too good, too long.
Well, things the last few months have been strained, but Kendall only has himself to blame for that. He hates himself for the times he’s snapped at Logan, but it’s like the other boy has no idea how serious the situation is. No one can know. No one can know.
What Logan doesn’t know, is how much the hiding hurts Kendall too. He loves Logan so fucking much, he wants to scream it from a rooftop, shout it through a megaphone, announce it to thousands of screaming fans at a concert. I love Logan Mitchell! He wants everyone and no one to be aware that he has this bundle of happiness so precious, he smiles just because Logan crosses his mind. When someone asks him why he has an extra bounce to his gait, he wants to blurt, It’s Logan! He put that there!
So to make room for all that extra emotion, for the agony and bridled joy, he hasn’t been eating. There just isn’t the space for food along with the size of his heart, the aching of his stomach. That has also put a strain on things. Logan just doesn’t understand.
Kendall makes his way into the hallway, pulls the studio door closed as quietly as possible. Gustavo stands there -- Kelly by his side -- waiting, his expression eerily calm. Kendall smiles at them both and nods his head, puts his hands in the back pockets of his jeans. Gustavo stares at him long moments.
“Do you have any idea how much money you cost me?” Gustavo crosses his arms over his chest, lowers his chin. It’s difficult to tell due to the colored glasses he wears, but Kendall swears his eyes are glowing red.
“Huh?” Kendall rushes through the possibilities and he’s still left with confusion. There are a number of things Gustavo could be speaking of.
“Come with me to my office.” Kendall gives Kelly a desperate glance and she looks back at him with an expression so sad and full of pity, Kendall’s feet fail to function. He stays rooted in the spot and just stares at her, his brows pulling together, eyes stinging.
Now, he’s sure he knows what this is about.
“Now!” Gustavo shouts.
“You’d better go, Kendall,” Kelly whispers, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder. Finally, Kendall moves, nodding, no longer able to look at anything but his feet.
He won’t cry. He won’t, he won’t. Not in front of Gustavo. Not in front of anybody, not anymore.
Once in Gustavo’s office, they both sit and Gustavo waits several moments to speak. He breaks the silence by throwing a blank manilla folder in front of Kendall, the file hitting the desk with an ominous slap. Kendall’s eyes go from it to Gustavo and back again.
“Go ahead,” Gustavo urges, “look and see and know what I know.” He gestures impatiently with his hands, his head, his calm quickly evaporating.
Kendall reaches out leisurely, as though he is unworried, but really he is protecting himself should whatever is in the folder strike out like a snake.
It does.
Inside, there are a dozen pictures of Kendall and Logan -- touching, kissing, smiling, embracing. All black and white because it’s over.
And they look so goddamn happy. Kendall didn’t even know he could look like that.
He almost forgets to be offended someone was watching them because of the perfect way the photographer captured Logan’s smile. Kendall remembers the day -- a lazy afternoon spent on the beach, Logan’s skin sun-warmed and shining, tiny prisms of light caught in the water droplets on his chest and stomach. Kendall hadn’t been able to resist the urge to kiss Logan before they were indoors; he’d wanted so badly to know what Logan tasted like in the light of day.
He won’t cry. He won’t, he won’t. Not in front of Gustavo. Not in front of anybody, not anymore.
Gustavo waits and waits for Kendall to say something, but he can’t.
“I won’t tell you how much money I had to give away to get those,” Gustavo seethes. “And you’re fucking lucky, Kendall. Lucky the chick who took those pictures didn’t go straight to the media. You know that?” Kendall nods, as though he were a puppet on strings, his master expecting him to, commanding him. “And there’s no legality to blackmail either. She could still take those pictures to the media. Probably has a dozen copies of each, a hard drive and a smartphone full of them.” Kendall nods again, movements wooden.
Gustavo stops talking and Kendall feels the imposing man’s eyes burning into the top of his head.
“Are you going to say anything?!”
“Sorry,” Kendall mumbles. He puts the pictures in the folder, closes it, resists the urge to ask if he can keep them.
“‘Sorry’? I told you a long time ago to keep that gay stuff behind closed doors. And what do you do? You drag Logan into it. Is this really fair to him, Kendall? Why do you want to hurt people like this?” Gustavo is insistent, always trying to get a rise from Kendall, seeming to want to see him break.
Kendall forces a cheesy smile, throws his hands in the air and shrugs.
Putting his hands in his face, Gustavo sighs. “You know Jo Taylor is back in town.”
“Yeah, I knew. We still talk from time to time, you know,” Kendall replies.
“You act like that shouldn’t surprise me,” Gustavo says. “Her people want you two back together.”
It’s more than just her people, Kendall thinks, but says, “I got that feeling as well. From her, not from her people.”
Gustavo bores into Kendall with his eyes, removes the colored glasses. Kendall begins to fidget under the scrutiny. It goes on and on and on and Kendall is about to break when Gustavo finally speaks.
“Make it happen.”
Part 15 Part 17
Part: 16/24
Genre: Big Time Rush - Drama / Angst
Pairings: Logan/Kendall, Kendall/Jo
Details: AU, Slash
Rating: MA/NC17
Warnings: Dark themes, sexual content
Post Word Count: 1007
Status: WIP
Summary: From friendship, to love, to something else entirely. When secrets are all they have, what is left when their lives become an open book? "I have no life but this."
Masterlist
“Kendall,” Gustavo says, “come talk to me.”
“We’re practicing these harmonies,” Kendall replies, “can’t it wait?” He looks to his friends, at Logan.
“No, Dog, it can’t.” Gustavo’s voice rises. He punches a thumb over his shoulder. “They can practice their parts. Get in the hallway, now.”
Kendall’s stomach knots; he takes a thick swallow. Logan catches his eye, passes a look of encouragement. Kendall’s heart plummets further. He has a good idea what this conversation will be about.
Things have been too good, too long.
Well, things the last few months have been strained, but Kendall only has himself to blame for that. He hates himself for the times he’s snapped at Logan, but it’s like the other boy has no idea how serious the situation is. No one can know. No one can know.
What Logan doesn’t know, is how much the hiding hurts Kendall too. He loves Logan so fucking much, he wants to scream it from a rooftop, shout it through a megaphone, announce it to thousands of screaming fans at a concert. I love Logan Mitchell! He wants everyone and no one to be aware that he has this bundle of happiness so precious, he smiles just because Logan crosses his mind. When someone asks him why he has an extra bounce to his gait, he wants to blurt, It’s Logan! He put that there!
So to make room for all that extra emotion, for the agony and bridled joy, he hasn’t been eating. There just isn’t the space for food along with the size of his heart, the aching of his stomach. That has also put a strain on things. Logan just doesn’t understand.
Kendall makes his way into the hallway, pulls the studio door closed as quietly as possible. Gustavo stands there -- Kelly by his side -- waiting, his expression eerily calm. Kendall smiles at them both and nods his head, puts his hands in the back pockets of his jeans. Gustavo stares at him long moments.
“Do you have any idea how much money you cost me?” Gustavo crosses his arms over his chest, lowers his chin. It’s difficult to tell due to the colored glasses he wears, but Kendall swears his eyes are glowing red.
“Huh?” Kendall rushes through the possibilities and he’s still left with confusion. There are a number of things Gustavo could be speaking of.
“Come with me to my office.” Kendall gives Kelly a desperate glance and she looks back at him with an expression so sad and full of pity, Kendall’s feet fail to function. He stays rooted in the spot and just stares at her, his brows pulling together, eyes stinging.
Now, he’s sure he knows what this is about.
“Now!” Gustavo shouts.
“You’d better go, Kendall,” Kelly whispers, reaching out and squeezing his shoulder. Finally, Kendall moves, nodding, no longer able to look at anything but his feet.
He won’t cry. He won’t, he won’t. Not in front of Gustavo. Not in front of anybody, not anymore.
Once in Gustavo’s office, they both sit and Gustavo waits several moments to speak. He breaks the silence by throwing a blank manilla folder in front of Kendall, the file hitting the desk with an ominous slap. Kendall’s eyes go from it to Gustavo and back again.
“Go ahead,” Gustavo urges, “look and see and know what I know.” He gestures impatiently with his hands, his head, his calm quickly evaporating.
Kendall reaches out leisurely, as though he is unworried, but really he is protecting himself should whatever is in the folder strike out like a snake.
It does.
Inside, there are a dozen pictures of Kendall and Logan -- touching, kissing, smiling, embracing. All black and white because it’s over.
And they look so goddamn happy. Kendall didn’t even know he could look like that.
He almost forgets to be offended someone was watching them because of the perfect way the photographer captured Logan’s smile. Kendall remembers the day -- a lazy afternoon spent on the beach, Logan’s skin sun-warmed and shining, tiny prisms of light caught in the water droplets on his chest and stomach. Kendall hadn’t been able to resist the urge to kiss Logan before they were indoors; he’d wanted so badly to know what Logan tasted like in the light of day.
He won’t cry. He won’t, he won’t. Not in front of Gustavo. Not in front of anybody, not anymore.
Gustavo waits and waits for Kendall to say something, but he can’t.
“I won’t tell you how much money I had to give away to get those,” Gustavo seethes. “And you’re fucking lucky, Kendall. Lucky the chick who took those pictures didn’t go straight to the media. You know that?” Kendall nods, as though he were a puppet on strings, his master expecting him to, commanding him. “And there’s no legality to blackmail either. She could still take those pictures to the media. Probably has a dozen copies of each, a hard drive and a smartphone full of them.” Kendall nods again, movements wooden.
Gustavo stops talking and Kendall feels the imposing man’s eyes burning into the top of his head.
“Are you going to say anything?!”
“Sorry,” Kendall mumbles. He puts the pictures in the folder, closes it, resists the urge to ask if he can keep them.
“‘Sorry’? I told you a long time ago to keep that gay stuff behind closed doors. And what do you do? You drag Logan into it. Is this really fair to him, Kendall? Why do you want to hurt people like this?” Gustavo is insistent, always trying to get a rise from Kendall, seeming to want to see him break.
Kendall forces a cheesy smile, throws his hands in the air and shrugs.
Putting his hands in his face, Gustavo sighs. “You know Jo Taylor is back in town.”
“Yeah, I knew. We still talk from time to time, you know,” Kendall replies.
“You act like that shouldn’t surprise me,” Gustavo says. “Her people want you two back together.”
It’s more than just her people, Kendall thinks, but says, “I got that feeling as well. From her, not from her people.”
Gustavo bores into Kendall with his eyes, removes the colored glasses. Kendall begins to fidget under the scrutiny. It goes on and on and on and Kendall is about to break when Gustavo finally speaks.
“Make it happen.”
Part 15 Part 17