Fic: The Happy Days of Youth, Part 3/4
Fic title: The Happy Days of Youth
Author name: candidcanoe
Artist name: dirtywerk
Genre: Slash, Showverse
Pairing: Kendall/Logan
Rating: MA/NC-17
Word count: 20,932 (Total)
Warnings/Spoilers: Extremely awkward almost-smut, Mpreg, lots of vomiting, bad words
Summary: Logan finally wins the prank war, big time. A little bit crack!fic, a little bit not.
Link to art: So amazing!
Author’s Note: Written for the Big Time Bang. Read all the lovely offerings here. Thanks go to jblostfan16 for putting up with my whining. This is silly and fluffy for the most part. It didn't turn out quite as cracky as I'd meant for it to be. There’s a tiny amount of angst. Probably not even worth mentioning.
“He’s what?” Gustavo is speaking in that low, creepy voice he uses right before he explodes, kind of like the hiss of the incendiary before the bomb. “You dogs are funny. Ha. Ha. Ha. Now really, what’s wrong with you, Kendall?”
“This isn’t a joke, Gustavo,” Logan says, and Kendall feels so much affection for Logan in the moment. Kendall is the brave one, the bold one who stands up to Gustavo, a smart comment waiting to roll off his sharp tongue, but this is just too embarrassing. Logan is really taking responsibility, shielding Kendall from Gustavo’s wrath, standing slightly in front.
But wait, this is all Logan’s fault.
The affection burns off like alcohol in a fire.
“How did you get Kendall pregnant, Logan?” Gustavo seethes.
“Hey, why are you so sure it was me?” Logan asks.
“None of these other dogs are smart enough.”
“Hey!” Carlos and James chime in unison.
“Shut up!” Gustavo shouts before any more protests can be made. He stands from his desk, leans forward and rests the palms of his hands on the smooth, mahogany surface. He looks down at the image of himself on the reflective top. Everyone in the room gets more nervous, and Kelly appears as though she’s getting ready to hold him back.
“Gustavo-“ Logan starts.
“What the fucking hell am I supposed to do with a goddamn pregnant boy band member? He’s the leader for christssake, and he’s going to be squeezing a melon out his butt or something? Baby puke is not sexy! Poopy diapers are not in fashion, ever! A stomach that sticks out so far a person can’t see his own feet is not the look we’re going for!”
“Can you see your feet, Gustavo?” Carlos asks, and although the question was honestly spoken, nothing about it mocking, it’s enough to launch Gustavo over his desk, hands outstretched and aiming for Carlos’s throat. Kelly is ready though, and grabs him before any bodily harm can occur.
“Just go into the hallway, guys!” she requests, breathless and struggling with Gustavo’s massive form. “Wait out there.” They all stare for a moment, gaping at the strength someone twice Gustavo’s size can exert against him. “Now!” The guys leap toward the door when Gustavo lets out an echoing bellow loud enough to shake the door on its hinges.
Kendall leans against the wall in the hallway, sinks to the floor. God, could this be any more embarrassing? He feels like people everywhere have been staring at him, every bit of him raw like he’s been scoured with a cheese grater. All his nerves might as well be displayed openly on his skin; anyone and everyone can press on them, make Kendall hurt and ache more and more and more.
If anyone can make this like it never happened Gustavo can. He realizes, with a start, he didn’t get to explain to Gustavo how he wanted to give the baby up; if there’s one thing he’s sure of, it’s that he doesn’t want to be a dad. Not now. Maybe never, after this.
So he calls Gustavo on his cell phone.
“What?!” Gustavo screeches, his voice echoing through the hallway even through the tiny earpiece of the phone.
“We don’t want to keep it. The baby, I mean.”
“What, Kendall? I can’t hear you over the pitter patter of little feet in my head!”
“I’m giving the baby up for adoption. If, well, when it’s born. I don’t want it.” He feels rotten for saying it, wondering where that attachment is, that “mother’s instinct” he’s heard so much about. So far, all he’s felt are sore nipples and cramps and nausea and crazy sideways emotions.
Gustavo doesn’t answer, and Kendall checks the phone several times to see if he’s still connected. Finally, there’s a deep breath. “Give me some time to get this sorted out and I’ll call you. For now, you and the kennel club get out of my sight.”
Kendall hangs up after mumbling what he thinks might be a word of thanks. He stares down at his phone until he feels a tapping on his shoulder.
“So I’m going to be an uncle?” Carlos says, the smile on his face so sweet and earnest Kendall feels a moment of guilt.
“We can’t keep the baby, Carlos,” Kendall replies. Carlos expression deflates.
“You think I can see him before? You know, before he’s gone? Just for a minute.” Carlos would make a great uncle, if not moderately dangerous. But how else would the kid toughen up? For the first time, Kendall wonders about what kind of people the kid will go live with. He hopes it’s someone who can ice skate. No kid should go without learning to skate.
“We’ll have to see how things go. I really have no clue how this is going to work out.” Maybe that’s something he should look into.
Carlos drops to his knees and pokes Kendall’s stomach. “Carlos!” Kendall grabs Carlos’s shoulders and tries to pull him up.
“Hi, baby,” Carlos coos, a dreamy expression on his face. “It’s Uncle Carlos! I love you.”
Kendall gives up on righting Carlos and looks to where Logan leans against the wall. He only blushes and shrugs.
“So you guys didn’t have sex, right?” James asks of Logan.
“Geez, James, no we did not have sex!”
“What a rip.”
Yeah, it’s going to be a long pregnancy.
~oOo~
“What do you mean, you’re replacing me?” Kendall feels stupid, traitorous tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Lately, the waterworks start if someone merely looks at him wonky. Just yesterday, Kendall cried watching reruns of Scrubs. And isn’t Scrubs supposed to be funny?
“Relax, Kendall. Brett here-we’ll call him Ken-doll-is a body double. Just for when you get too fat to go out in public.”
“Wow, thanks, Gustavo.”
The four guys are having a meeting to discuss the situation, come up with a plan. Kendall thinks the thing not working out with Lucy is fortuitous. How would he ever have been able to explain?
“You’re welcome,” Gustavo replies, completely missing Kendall’s sarcasm. “From what I understand, your grandparents have a place in Florida, right?”
“How do you know that?” Kendall asks.
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to. Anyway, we’re sending you there when we can’t hide this anymore. You stay there. Don’t leave the house if you can help it. There’s a specialist there at some clinic that handles rare medical cases. I’ve arranged for him to visit you as often as possible. Until then, visit your doctors here. Don’t tell anyone about this who doesn’t absolutely have to know. Leave your shirt on. And, for fuck’s sake, don’t wrestle around like the dumbasses you guys usually are.”
Kendall hasn’t thought about how huge he’s going to be. Being stuck in the house for months? That’s going to suck. And he’ll be all alone. His mom can’t come with him; the other guys will be staying in California. Kendall is eighteen now, a legal adult, but he honestly couldn’t feel more childish. He wants his mommy with him, dammit.
“Aw, man, I wanted to see the baby!” Carlos protests.
“You know, I kind of wanted to, too,” James agrees.
“Gustavo?” Logan squeaks, his fear of the large guy thinly masked.
“What?”
“How much trouble would it be to get a double for me? I, uh, well, this is my fault. I want to be there when Kendall gives birth. Plus, he shouldn’t be alone. His grandparents won’t be there. They only use that beach house a few weeks every year.”
Gustavo’s head turns burgundy. Kelly says his name with a warning tone. “I’ll run it by Griffin, but it shouldn’t be a problem. And you’re right. I’ll tell him it’s protecting his assets.”
“What about the adoption?” Logan asks. Kendall feels stupid he had almost forgotten about all that. What did he think? The baby would magically be whisked away to an appropriate home?
“I know a guy,” Gustavo replies.
“Do you know a guy for everything?” Carlos chimes.
“Yes, dog, I know a guy for everything.”
“This isn’t going to be some black market trade-off is it?” Kendall asks. “I do want to make sure the baby is well cared for.”
“Aw, does Mommy Kendall worry about Baby Kendall?” James adds, batting his eyelashes and jutting out his lower lip.
“Shut up, dude,” Kendall leans over to punch James in the shoulder but loses his balance and falls into him instead.
“Someone’s getting the dropsies. I hear that’s normal when you’re carrying around a watermelon.” James gestures to Kendall’s barely there stomach.
“You’re an ass,” Logan says, punching James in the shoulder as Kendall had intended. Kendall catches Logan’s eyes and wonders when the smaller guy became his protector. It’s a strange role reversal, but Kendall doesn’t mind being taken care of like he thought he would.
“Thanks, Logan.”
“Anyway, if you dogs are done arguing…Kendall, you and Logan are more than welcome to meet the family who we’ve been hooked up with to adopt. They’re not a traditional couple so they’ve had some troubles going the traditional route, but trust me, they’re good guys,” Gustavo says. It’s kind of surprising, but not really, that Gustavo seems to actually care about this. He’s obviously put a lot of thought into getting everything worked out, Big Time Rush taking a small hiatus when Kendall is unable to work anymore.
But wait, what? Guys?
~oOo~
The nausea finally goes away, but other symptoms begin plaguing Kendall. Hunger he can’t seem to control. Hot flashes. Completely unprovoked arousal. He feels like a time bomb. An expanding, bloated time bomb. He sees so many doctors and nurses, he can’t remember their names. He’s been prodded and palpated and asked more embarrassing questions than he’d care to admit. But Logan is always there. For that, Kendall is grateful. Logan gets him the weird food he wants. Like sardines, bread and butter pickles and mayonnaise all smeared on rye bread. Logan rubs Kendall’s back when the bump slowly forming in his middle pulls on his spine. Sometimes, Kendall even forgets he’s supposed to be mad at Logan, and for some stupid reason, he’s looking forward to the last few months of his pregnancy so they can be alone. Everyone else just annoys him.
The foreign feeling about someone he’s always had, someone he’s always known everything about seems almost stranger to Kendall than the tape worm forming in his gut. He just knows there’s more fear in him now than there ever has been before, but divining the source is near impossible.
It’s the hormones.
~oOo~
“Hrrrmph, ugh, I can’t stand it. I can’t stand it!” Kendall wails, throwing the pillow (which had been covering his face) across the room, whizzing past Logan’s face like a ghostly apparition.
Funny, Logan thought Kendall had finally fallen asleep.
“It’s so fucking hot in here,” Kendall adds, throwing off his comforter in a huff, pulling his shirt over his head as though it were in flames. Logan doesn’t know what to make of Kendall’s sudden outburst. In fact, Logan is mostly, fairly certain he had been asleep before Kendall shouted.
Logan props himself on his elbow and looks toward Kendall. “Anything I can do?”
“No, you’ve done enough.” Logan blanches at the comment. How rude. It’s true, but still. Rude all the same. It’s not like Logan impregnated his best friend on purpose. Ew.
“Whatever, man,” Logan replies, rolling over and facing out the window. He pulls his own covers up over his nose, certain the end of it is suffering frost bite in the chill of the room. He’s never been so goddamn freezing in his life, not even when the temperatures dropped below zero in Minnesota. Not even when his foot when through a patch of thin ice into a ball-shriveling, dick-actually-retreating-inside-of-him pond.
“Wait, Logan, I’m sorry.” Kendall stops for a moment. “Sorry,” Kendall repeats. He’s quiet again for a few minutes, his breathing evening out, and Logan thinks he’s gone back to sleep until, in a voice quiet enough to be ignored, he says, “Would you turn on the fan for me, please?”
“How are you even hot? It’s, like, twelve below in here, dude.”
“Please? I’m too fat to get up. I would have to roll in the floor and then that would wake up Mom, then she would come in here and turn it on for me, and then she would ask why you didn’t ju-“
“Okay, okay, I’m doing it.” Logan’s bare feet hit the floor and he’s sure if he stuck his tongue to something metal in the room it would stick. He runs to the fan, presses the button and pretty much jumps back into bed, teeth chattering.
“You’re not fat, by the way,” Logan says through clicking teeth.
Kendall lets out a derisive snort. “You don’t have to lie to me. I’m a cow, a pig. Oh my god, I want a bacon cheeseburger.”
“Man, you’re creating life! Isn’t that cool? And you can just barely even see your bump. There are celebrity chicks who totally wear stuff showing off their baby bumps.” Logan knows he was reluctant at first, the idea of Kendall risking himself to carry the baby full term frightening him beyond words. But, and he hates to admit, from the first time he saw the profile of the tiny kid he couldn’t stop thinking about how that was his nose, Kendall’s chin. It might sound ridiculous, but Logan knows-just from the ultrasound-this baby will look almost just like him.
“’Chicks’ being the operative word. Oh my god, I want some fried chicken.”
Logan is quiet for a few moments, the realization of how bad he’s fucked up pressing down on his head, his shoulders, a blinding ache making its way through his temples. The moonlight is just enough to make out Kendall’s silhouette as he lies on his back, the shiny, stretched skin of his abdomen creating a hill where they used to only be straight lines.
“Kendall?” Logan whispers, breaking the quiet.
“Hmm?”
“I’m sorry about this. I don’t know what else to say. I know I’ve said it before, and I’ll probably say it again, but I’m really sorry. I think getting your best guy friend knocked up is about the worst thing a friend can do to another friend, huh?”
Kendall rolls over onto his right side, curls his right arm and props his head on it. He takes a moment to look at Logan, his brow furrowing and casting more of his face in shadow. “It could be worse.”
“How so?”
“You could’ve accidentally turned me into a girl. You could’ve chopped off my dick. You could’ve somehow morphed me into a giant chicken and I would’ve had to eat myself to death. You could’ve made me short. Ooh, that would suck. Imagine if I were shorter than you, Logie.”
“Hey!” Logan laughs at the rude comment, picking up Kendall’s thrown pillow and tossing it back. They both giggle until the sounds taper off and Kendall speaks again.
“I could be dead.”
Neither says what they are both thinking, In a few more months, that might be a reality.
“That won’t happen,” Logan replies, more confidence in the statement than he actually feels.
“Hey, it’ll all be okay. Like you said, the miracle of life and all that shit.” Kendall laughs, rolls back onto his back.
“Kendall, I think you should start watching your language. The baby can hear as early as the sixteenth week of pregnancy, and, if my math is right, you’re now eighteen weeks and four days. So you should really-“
“Shut the fuck up, Logan.”
Logan shuts the fuck up. He thinks Kendall has fallen asleep again. Until, “Hey, will you go get me a big pickle? And turn the fan on oscillate? Okay, thanks.”
Logan chuckles and decides to start keeping a parka and slippers by the bed.
~oOo~
“Logan, you have to get back here right now,” Kendall blurts through the phone. Logan starts to spaz, thinking of all the things Kendall could be experiencing: a rupture, internal hemorrhaging, early labor.
“What’s going on? Tell me, Kendall. Are you hurt?”
“Just get home right now,” Kendall says. He hangs up the phone before Logan can say anything else.
He trips over air and other nonexistent things as he tries to hurry, panic for Kendall, and yes, worry for the baby making him clumsy. He’s not attached, just human. Or so he tells himself at least fifteen times a day.
Once he bursts through the front door, he sees Kendall calmly flipping through the channels on the TV.
“So you call me and tell me there’s an emergency and then sit down to watch TV?”
“I didn’t say there was an emergency. Come here,” Kendall beckons, patting the place next to him on the couch.
“Do you have any idea how worried I was?”
“Shhh! Give me your hand.”
Logan is so confused, but he does as Kendall asks. Gently, Kendall places Logan’s hand over the rise of his belly.
“Give her a minute,” Kendall whispers.
“Her?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I guess I’m tired of saying ‘it’. But really, be quiet.”
And then there’s this fluttering under Logan’s fingers and it startles him so that he withdrawals his hand, a breathless laugh erupting through his lips. Once he is over the shock, he puts his hand on Kendall again.
They both laugh quietly, glancing up at the same moment. Their eyes meet, and Logan feels a fluttering inside himself that has nothing to do with babies. Is it just the prenatal vitamins, or are Kendall’s eyes brighter? Logan’s breath catches at Kendall’s smile, the straight rows of his teeth a stark contrast to the rose-petal pink of his lips. He’s beautiful.
It’s the vitamins, Logan is sure.
Pssh, pregnant people glow all the time.
“That’s wild,” Logan says.
“We’re halfway there, Logie.”
~oOo~
Logan and Kendall knock on the red door. They’re in the California hills, far enough away from civilization to be beautiful and lush, close enough to be convenient. It’s exactly where Logan would choose to live, were he the grown up he pretends to be. The house itself is lovely, not too big or too small, and the shutters match the door (mismatched shutters and doors has always been one of Logan’s pet peeves). All in all, this would be the perfect place to grow up.
Logan looks to Kendall and notices him fidgeting, pulling his shirt taut over his protruding belly. It’s only this nervous habit that ever reveals anything amiss with Kendall’s body. Logan reaches over and smoothes his hand over Kendall’s stomach, another nervous habit, both boys reminding themselves the baby is still there, reminding themselves Kendall is still making it.
They’re both attached, though neither admits it.
A man opens the door, a bright smile on his face when he sees them. He’s handsome, salt and pepper hair and shining blue eyes. “You must be Kendall and Logan,” he says, opening the door wide. “I’m Nathan.” He shakes both their hands and ushers them inside to a sitting room.
“Nice to meet you, Nathan,” says Logan.
“Please, call me Nate.”
“Your home is beautiful, Nate,” Kendall says.
“Thank you. You must be Kendall?” Nate gestures to the boys to sit on the sofa as he takes a seat across from them.
“Is it that obvious?” Kendall asks, looking down at his stomach.
“No, it’s really not. I only see because I’m looking for it.” There’s something familiar about Nate, but Kendall can’t quite put his finger on it. He thinks Nate must just have one of those faces.
“Is your p-partner here?” Logan asks, looking around. He notices the room is already kid-proofed, empty sockets covered with plugs, all the knick-knacks and pictures placed up high.
“My husband,” Nate laughs.
“Sorry.” As though Logan weren’t feeling awkward enough.
“No worries.” Nate stands and walks to the entrance of the room. “Heath! Kendall and Logan are here!” he shouts.
They all hear footsteps, running footsteps, bounding down the stairs.
“He’s really excited,” Nate says, his eyes crinkling in the corners as a look of fondness falls over his face.
Heath pops into the sitting room, face jubilant. Logan and Kendall can’t help but grin at him.
“Hey, guys!” Heath greets, shaking hands vigorously. “You two are so cute! I bet this baby will be adorable.”
They all laugh as Logan blushes.
“Look, Nate, he’s blushing. So charming,” Heath stage whispers. Kendall elbows Logan in the ribs.
Nate and Heath sit across from Kendall and Logan and there’s an awkward silence. Heath doesn’t let it last long.
“So how are you feeling, Kendall?”
“Good.” Kendall nods. “I finally stopped puking every day. My back’s a little sore but Logie helps out with that.”
“Kendall, I’ve told you not to call me that in public,” Logan huffs, the blush that had barely retreated from his face coming back full force.
“No, no, it’s sweet,” Nate says. “I just want to start off by saying thank you to you two. The whole situation has been explained to us, and I know it has to be difficult. We’ve been wanting to start a family for years. This is just-as cheesy as it sounds-a dream come true for us.” He takes Heath’s hand and they share a smile. For the first time, Kendall is almost grateful he’s pregnant, if for nothing else than to help these two men.
“You’re welcome,” Kendall says, and he really, really means it.
“So you’re delivering in Florida?” Nate asks. Kendall and Logan nod. He fishes something out of his pocket and hands it to Kendall. “Here’s my card. If you can just have someone call me when you find out you’re having the baby, and we’ll get there as soon as possible.”
Kendall reads the card, the name of a law firm printed under Nate’s name. Impressive.
“Do you know what you’re having yet?” Heath asks.
“Yeah, actually,” Logan says, looking to Kendall for permission to continue. Kendall nods. “We just had an ultrasound last week and it’s a girl.”
The two men smile, congratulating each other and embracing. “That’s so amazing!” Heath breathes. “Oh my god, Nate, I’m so excited!”
“Heath already has the room mostly finished,” Nate explains. “He’s an artist. He was waiting to finish painting the walls until he found out the sex of the baby.”
“Do you want to see it?” Heath is too excited for the boys to refuse him, so they nod. He jumps up and they all follow him up the stairs, Logan behind Kendall with his hand on the small of Kendall’s back. He doesn’t want him to trip and fall.
When they get into the room, neither boy can hide their reactions. The room is filled with stuffed animals, a rocking chair stationed in the corner by a beautiful crib. Hanging from the ceiling are stars and moons, and the walls are painted in a jungle theme. There are trees and exotic birds and wild animals. The trees are realistic, but the animals are painted in a way they look plush and huggable. There are already packs of diapers and clothes stacked on a changing table.
“I couldn’t help myself,” Heath says. He walks over to the clothes and holds up a little yellow sundress, fabric daisies as the straps. “I made this just in case.”
Nate points to the one wall still blank. “We were waiting to figure out a name so he can paint it there.”
For the first time, Kendall allows himself to feel a little jealous, a little sad at what he’s giving up. The baby moves inside him and he puts a protective hand on his middle.
“Are you okay?” Logan asks, concerned.
“She’s just moving,” Kendall replies. Nate and Heath’s faces light up and they move in close to Kendall.
“May I?” Heath requests.
For a silly moment, Kendall wants to say no, wants to keep the child to himself as long as he can, but his expression softens. He smiles tentatively. “Sure,” he whispers, moving his hand.
The two men coo and whisper love to Kendall’s stomach, and he looks at Logan over their heads. Logan has this sad smile on his face and Kendall has to glance away.
Once the baby stops moving, Nate and Heath reluctantly drop their hands away.
“Do you boys want something to eat or drink?” Heath asks.
“Sure,” Logan replies, knowing how Kendall is always hungry. “Do you have any sauerkraut? Kendall can’t get enough of the stuff.”
“I don’t think so,” Heath laughs. “But I think we have a big jar of pickles. Don’t pregnant people love pickles?”
“It’s true,” Kendall offers. Heath makes his way to the door to get refreshments.
“I’ll help you.” Logan follows him out. The two who stayed behind watch them until they hear the other’s feet on the stairs.
“Is this terribly hard for you?” Nate asks, obviously picking up on the emo vibes Kendall put off.
“Harder than I could’ve imagined.” The answer is honest and true. It seems Kendall’s emotions grow along with his middle.
“You’re doing the right thing. And I’m not just saying that since I’m so vested in this. A baby is hard on a young couple just starting out.”
“A couple?”
“Yes, you and Logan,” Nate replies.
“Oh,” Kendall laughs, “we’re not a couple. A couple of nuts, maybe.”
“Really?” Nate is genuinely confused. He obviously knew about how this pregnancy happened. Why would he think Kendall and Logan were together?”
“Really,” Kendall answers.
“You two just seem to know each other so well.” Nate shakes his head. “Everything about you two, even your movements, just seem to complement one other. Like a dance.”
“We’ve been best friends since we were eight,” Kendall says. “And, of course, we’re in the band together, so we do dance together a lot. It’s probably from all of that.”
Nate gives Kendall this knowing smirk, and Kendall doesn’t like it, but he keeps his mouth shut.
“Are you sure that’s it?” Nate asks.
“Yes, I’m sure,” Kendall answers. And, yeah, Kendall is sure he’s sure.
Kendall is sure he’s sure, but his subconscious isn’t, because after that day, Kendall dreams of Logan every night. And some dreams he’s really not comfortable thinking about when he’s awake.
~oOo~
Kendall is almost six months along when their “people” decide it’s time for him to go into hiding. Logan really doesn’t mind. With the hustle and bustle of California, it’ll be nice to just be Kendall and Logan for awhile. It’s been a long, long time since they were just Kendall and Logan.
Except it’s hard the first week or two; Kendall is so very pregnant and moody. Florida is more humid than California, so Kendall keeps the house freezing. They have separate rooms here, which is odd since they’ve become so accustomed to being together. Logan is somewhat grateful though; he keeps a space heater going in his room to keep from falling into hypothermic shock. It still doesn’t stop him from hearing Kendall getting up and down all night.
One night, Kendall calls out to Logan, and his voice is almost panicked. Though he’s coming out of a dead sleep, Logan rushes to Kendall’s room to find him sitting up, the lamp next to the bed clicked on. It doesn’t take a genius to see Kendall is terrified.
“What is it, Ken?” Logan asks, moving to the bed and sitting on the edge, putting a comforting hand on Kendall’s leg.
“I had a really bad dream.” Kendall puts both hands on his stomach, and Logan doesn’t have to ask what it was about.
“Oh. Oh, I’m so sorry, but it wasn’t real, okay? You should try to go back to sleep.” Logan stands and adjusts Kendall’s pillows as Kendall lies down on his side. He pushes a pillow under Kendall’s stomach, one against his back and one between his knees.
“Better?” Logan asks. Kendall nods.
“Leave the light on?”
“Of course, I will.” Logan brushes Kendall’s hair back from his face, and Kendall closes his eyes. As Logan turns to leave, Kendall’s hand encircles his wrist with a firm grip. Logan turns back to Kendall.
“Huh?” Logan takes in Kendall’s eyes, now open again and full of pleading. “Okay, Ken. Okay. Move over a little?”
Logan scoots into bed behind Kendall, drapes an arm over his middle. The baby kicks under his hand as Kendall nestles in, the back of his head against Logan’s chest. “Everything will be fine,” Logan hums into Kendall’s hair.
Part Four
Author name: candidcanoe
Artist name: dirtywerk
Genre: Slash, Showverse
Pairing: Kendall/Logan
Rating: MA/NC-17
Word count: 20,932 (Total)
Warnings/Spoilers: Extremely awkward almost-smut, Mpreg, lots of vomiting, bad words
Summary: Logan finally wins the prank war, big time. A little bit crack!fic, a little bit not.
Link to art: So amazing!
Author’s Note: Written for the Big Time Bang. Read all the lovely offerings here. Thanks go to jblostfan16 for putting up with my whining. This is silly and fluffy for the most part. It didn't turn out quite as cracky as I'd meant for it to be. There’s a tiny amount of angst. Probably not even worth mentioning.
“He’s what?” Gustavo is speaking in that low, creepy voice he uses right before he explodes, kind of like the hiss of the incendiary before the bomb. “You dogs are funny. Ha. Ha. Ha. Now really, what’s wrong with you, Kendall?”
“This isn’t a joke, Gustavo,” Logan says, and Kendall feels so much affection for Logan in the moment. Kendall is the brave one, the bold one who stands up to Gustavo, a smart comment waiting to roll off his sharp tongue, but this is just too embarrassing. Logan is really taking responsibility, shielding Kendall from Gustavo’s wrath, standing slightly in front.
But wait, this is all Logan’s fault.
The affection burns off like alcohol in a fire.
“How did you get Kendall pregnant, Logan?” Gustavo seethes.
“Hey, why are you so sure it was me?” Logan asks.
“None of these other dogs are smart enough.”
“Hey!” Carlos and James chime in unison.
“Shut up!” Gustavo shouts before any more protests can be made. He stands from his desk, leans forward and rests the palms of his hands on the smooth, mahogany surface. He looks down at the image of himself on the reflective top. Everyone in the room gets more nervous, and Kelly appears as though she’s getting ready to hold him back.
“Gustavo-“ Logan starts.
“What the fucking hell am I supposed to do with a goddamn pregnant boy band member? He’s the leader for christssake, and he’s going to be squeezing a melon out his butt or something? Baby puke is not sexy! Poopy diapers are not in fashion, ever! A stomach that sticks out so far a person can’t see his own feet is not the look we’re going for!”
“Can you see your feet, Gustavo?” Carlos asks, and although the question was honestly spoken, nothing about it mocking, it’s enough to launch Gustavo over his desk, hands outstretched and aiming for Carlos’s throat. Kelly is ready though, and grabs him before any bodily harm can occur.
“Just go into the hallway, guys!” she requests, breathless and struggling with Gustavo’s massive form. “Wait out there.” They all stare for a moment, gaping at the strength someone twice Gustavo’s size can exert against him. “Now!” The guys leap toward the door when Gustavo lets out an echoing bellow loud enough to shake the door on its hinges.
Kendall leans against the wall in the hallway, sinks to the floor. God, could this be any more embarrassing? He feels like people everywhere have been staring at him, every bit of him raw like he’s been scoured with a cheese grater. All his nerves might as well be displayed openly on his skin; anyone and everyone can press on them, make Kendall hurt and ache more and more and more.
If anyone can make this like it never happened Gustavo can. He realizes, with a start, he didn’t get to explain to Gustavo how he wanted to give the baby up; if there’s one thing he’s sure of, it’s that he doesn’t want to be a dad. Not now. Maybe never, after this.
So he calls Gustavo on his cell phone.
“What?!” Gustavo screeches, his voice echoing through the hallway even through the tiny earpiece of the phone.
“We don’t want to keep it. The baby, I mean.”
“What, Kendall? I can’t hear you over the pitter patter of little feet in my head!”
“I’m giving the baby up for adoption. If, well, when it’s born. I don’t want it.” He feels rotten for saying it, wondering where that attachment is, that “mother’s instinct” he’s heard so much about. So far, all he’s felt are sore nipples and cramps and nausea and crazy sideways emotions.
Gustavo doesn’t answer, and Kendall checks the phone several times to see if he’s still connected. Finally, there’s a deep breath. “Give me some time to get this sorted out and I’ll call you. For now, you and the kennel club get out of my sight.”
Kendall hangs up after mumbling what he thinks might be a word of thanks. He stares down at his phone until he feels a tapping on his shoulder.
“So I’m going to be an uncle?” Carlos says, the smile on his face so sweet and earnest Kendall feels a moment of guilt.
“We can’t keep the baby, Carlos,” Kendall replies. Carlos expression deflates.
“You think I can see him before? You know, before he’s gone? Just for a minute.” Carlos would make a great uncle, if not moderately dangerous. But how else would the kid toughen up? For the first time, Kendall wonders about what kind of people the kid will go live with. He hopes it’s someone who can ice skate. No kid should go without learning to skate.
“We’ll have to see how things go. I really have no clue how this is going to work out.” Maybe that’s something he should look into.
Carlos drops to his knees and pokes Kendall’s stomach. “Carlos!” Kendall grabs Carlos’s shoulders and tries to pull him up.
“Hi, baby,” Carlos coos, a dreamy expression on his face. “It’s Uncle Carlos! I love you.”
Kendall gives up on righting Carlos and looks to where Logan leans against the wall. He only blushes and shrugs.
“So you guys didn’t have sex, right?” James asks of Logan.
“Geez, James, no we did not have sex!”
“What a rip.”
Yeah, it’s going to be a long pregnancy.
~oOo~
“What do you mean, you’re replacing me?” Kendall feels stupid, traitorous tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Lately, the waterworks start if someone merely looks at him wonky. Just yesterday, Kendall cried watching reruns of Scrubs. And isn’t Scrubs supposed to be funny?
“Relax, Kendall. Brett here-we’ll call him Ken-doll-is a body double. Just for when you get too fat to go out in public.”
“Wow, thanks, Gustavo.”
The four guys are having a meeting to discuss the situation, come up with a plan. Kendall thinks the thing not working out with Lucy is fortuitous. How would he ever have been able to explain?
“You’re welcome,” Gustavo replies, completely missing Kendall’s sarcasm. “From what I understand, your grandparents have a place in Florida, right?”
“How do you know that?” Kendall asks.
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to. Anyway, we’re sending you there when we can’t hide this anymore. You stay there. Don’t leave the house if you can help it. There’s a specialist there at some clinic that handles rare medical cases. I’ve arranged for him to visit you as often as possible. Until then, visit your doctors here. Don’t tell anyone about this who doesn’t absolutely have to know. Leave your shirt on. And, for fuck’s sake, don’t wrestle around like the dumbasses you guys usually are.”
Kendall hasn’t thought about how huge he’s going to be. Being stuck in the house for months? That’s going to suck. And he’ll be all alone. His mom can’t come with him; the other guys will be staying in California. Kendall is eighteen now, a legal adult, but he honestly couldn’t feel more childish. He wants his mommy with him, dammit.
“Aw, man, I wanted to see the baby!” Carlos protests.
“You know, I kind of wanted to, too,” James agrees.
“Gustavo?” Logan squeaks, his fear of the large guy thinly masked.
“What?”
“How much trouble would it be to get a double for me? I, uh, well, this is my fault. I want to be there when Kendall gives birth. Plus, he shouldn’t be alone. His grandparents won’t be there. They only use that beach house a few weeks every year.”
Gustavo’s head turns burgundy. Kelly says his name with a warning tone. “I’ll run it by Griffin, but it shouldn’t be a problem. And you’re right. I’ll tell him it’s protecting his assets.”
“What about the adoption?” Logan asks. Kendall feels stupid he had almost forgotten about all that. What did he think? The baby would magically be whisked away to an appropriate home?
“I know a guy,” Gustavo replies.
“Do you know a guy for everything?” Carlos chimes.
“Yes, dog, I know a guy for everything.”
“This isn’t going to be some black market trade-off is it?” Kendall asks. “I do want to make sure the baby is well cared for.”
“Aw, does Mommy Kendall worry about Baby Kendall?” James adds, batting his eyelashes and jutting out his lower lip.
“Shut up, dude,” Kendall leans over to punch James in the shoulder but loses his balance and falls into him instead.
“Someone’s getting the dropsies. I hear that’s normal when you’re carrying around a watermelon.” James gestures to Kendall’s barely there stomach.
“You’re an ass,” Logan says, punching James in the shoulder as Kendall had intended. Kendall catches Logan’s eyes and wonders when the smaller guy became his protector. It’s a strange role reversal, but Kendall doesn’t mind being taken care of like he thought he would.
“Thanks, Logan.”
“Anyway, if you dogs are done arguing…Kendall, you and Logan are more than welcome to meet the family who we’ve been hooked up with to adopt. They’re not a traditional couple so they’ve had some troubles going the traditional route, but trust me, they’re good guys,” Gustavo says. It’s kind of surprising, but not really, that Gustavo seems to actually care about this. He’s obviously put a lot of thought into getting everything worked out, Big Time Rush taking a small hiatus when Kendall is unable to work anymore.
But wait, what? Guys?
~oOo~
The nausea finally goes away, but other symptoms begin plaguing Kendall. Hunger he can’t seem to control. Hot flashes. Completely unprovoked arousal. He feels like a time bomb. An expanding, bloated time bomb. He sees so many doctors and nurses, he can’t remember their names. He’s been prodded and palpated and asked more embarrassing questions than he’d care to admit. But Logan is always there. For that, Kendall is grateful. Logan gets him the weird food he wants. Like sardines, bread and butter pickles and mayonnaise all smeared on rye bread. Logan rubs Kendall’s back when the bump slowly forming in his middle pulls on his spine. Sometimes, Kendall even forgets he’s supposed to be mad at Logan, and for some stupid reason, he’s looking forward to the last few months of his pregnancy so they can be alone. Everyone else just annoys him.
The foreign feeling about someone he’s always had, someone he’s always known everything about seems almost stranger to Kendall than the tape worm forming in his gut. He just knows there’s more fear in him now than there ever has been before, but divining the source is near impossible.
It’s the hormones.
~oOo~
“Hrrrmph, ugh, I can’t stand it. I can’t stand it!” Kendall wails, throwing the pillow (which had been covering his face) across the room, whizzing past Logan’s face like a ghostly apparition.
Funny, Logan thought Kendall had finally fallen asleep.
“It’s so fucking hot in here,” Kendall adds, throwing off his comforter in a huff, pulling his shirt over his head as though it were in flames. Logan doesn’t know what to make of Kendall’s sudden outburst. In fact, Logan is mostly, fairly certain he had been asleep before Kendall shouted.
Logan props himself on his elbow and looks toward Kendall. “Anything I can do?”
“No, you’ve done enough.” Logan blanches at the comment. How rude. It’s true, but still. Rude all the same. It’s not like Logan impregnated his best friend on purpose. Ew.
“Whatever, man,” Logan replies, rolling over and facing out the window. He pulls his own covers up over his nose, certain the end of it is suffering frost bite in the chill of the room. He’s never been so goddamn freezing in his life, not even when the temperatures dropped below zero in Minnesota. Not even when his foot when through a patch of thin ice into a ball-shriveling, dick-actually-retreating-inside-of-him pond.
“Wait, Logan, I’m sorry.” Kendall stops for a moment. “Sorry,” Kendall repeats. He’s quiet again for a few minutes, his breathing evening out, and Logan thinks he’s gone back to sleep until, in a voice quiet enough to be ignored, he says, “Would you turn on the fan for me, please?”
“How are you even hot? It’s, like, twelve below in here, dude.”
“Please? I’m too fat to get up. I would have to roll in the floor and then that would wake up Mom, then she would come in here and turn it on for me, and then she would ask why you didn’t ju-“
“Okay, okay, I’m doing it.” Logan’s bare feet hit the floor and he’s sure if he stuck his tongue to something metal in the room it would stick. He runs to the fan, presses the button and pretty much jumps back into bed, teeth chattering.
“You’re not fat, by the way,” Logan says through clicking teeth.
Kendall lets out a derisive snort. “You don’t have to lie to me. I’m a cow, a pig. Oh my god, I want a bacon cheeseburger.”
“Man, you’re creating life! Isn’t that cool? And you can just barely even see your bump. There are celebrity chicks who totally wear stuff showing off their baby bumps.” Logan knows he was reluctant at first, the idea of Kendall risking himself to carry the baby full term frightening him beyond words. But, and he hates to admit, from the first time he saw the profile of the tiny kid he couldn’t stop thinking about how that was his nose, Kendall’s chin. It might sound ridiculous, but Logan knows-just from the ultrasound-this baby will look almost just like him.
“’Chicks’ being the operative word. Oh my god, I want some fried chicken.”
Logan is quiet for a few moments, the realization of how bad he’s fucked up pressing down on his head, his shoulders, a blinding ache making its way through his temples. The moonlight is just enough to make out Kendall’s silhouette as he lies on his back, the shiny, stretched skin of his abdomen creating a hill where they used to only be straight lines.
“Kendall?” Logan whispers, breaking the quiet.
“Hmm?”
“I’m sorry about this. I don’t know what else to say. I know I’ve said it before, and I’ll probably say it again, but I’m really sorry. I think getting your best guy friend knocked up is about the worst thing a friend can do to another friend, huh?”
Kendall rolls over onto his right side, curls his right arm and props his head on it. He takes a moment to look at Logan, his brow furrowing and casting more of his face in shadow. “It could be worse.”
“How so?”
“You could’ve accidentally turned me into a girl. You could’ve chopped off my dick. You could’ve somehow morphed me into a giant chicken and I would’ve had to eat myself to death. You could’ve made me short. Ooh, that would suck. Imagine if I were shorter than you, Logie.”
“Hey!” Logan laughs at the rude comment, picking up Kendall’s thrown pillow and tossing it back. They both giggle until the sounds taper off and Kendall speaks again.
“I could be dead.”
Neither says what they are both thinking, In a few more months, that might be a reality.
“That won’t happen,” Logan replies, more confidence in the statement than he actually feels.
“Hey, it’ll all be okay. Like you said, the miracle of life and all that shit.” Kendall laughs, rolls back onto his back.
“Kendall, I think you should start watching your language. The baby can hear as early as the sixteenth week of pregnancy, and, if my math is right, you’re now eighteen weeks and four days. So you should really-“
“Shut the fuck up, Logan.”
Logan shuts the fuck up. He thinks Kendall has fallen asleep again. Until, “Hey, will you go get me a big pickle? And turn the fan on oscillate? Okay, thanks.”
Logan chuckles and decides to start keeping a parka and slippers by the bed.
~oOo~
“Logan, you have to get back here right now,” Kendall blurts through the phone. Logan starts to spaz, thinking of all the things Kendall could be experiencing: a rupture, internal hemorrhaging, early labor.
“What’s going on? Tell me, Kendall. Are you hurt?”
“Just get home right now,” Kendall says. He hangs up the phone before Logan can say anything else.
He trips over air and other nonexistent things as he tries to hurry, panic for Kendall, and yes, worry for the baby making him clumsy. He’s not attached, just human. Or so he tells himself at least fifteen times a day.
Once he bursts through the front door, he sees Kendall calmly flipping through the channels on the TV.
“So you call me and tell me there’s an emergency and then sit down to watch TV?”
“I didn’t say there was an emergency. Come here,” Kendall beckons, patting the place next to him on the couch.
“Do you have any idea how worried I was?”
“Shhh! Give me your hand.”
Logan is so confused, but he does as Kendall asks. Gently, Kendall places Logan’s hand over the rise of his belly.
“Give her a minute,” Kendall whispers.
“Her?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I guess I’m tired of saying ‘it’. But really, be quiet.”
And then there’s this fluttering under Logan’s fingers and it startles him so that he withdrawals his hand, a breathless laugh erupting through his lips. Once he is over the shock, he puts his hand on Kendall again.
They both laugh quietly, glancing up at the same moment. Their eyes meet, and Logan feels a fluttering inside himself that has nothing to do with babies. Is it just the prenatal vitamins, or are Kendall’s eyes brighter? Logan’s breath catches at Kendall’s smile, the straight rows of his teeth a stark contrast to the rose-petal pink of his lips. He’s beautiful.
It’s the vitamins, Logan is sure.
Pssh, pregnant people glow all the time.
“That’s wild,” Logan says.
“We’re halfway there, Logie.”
~oOo~
Logan and Kendall knock on the red door. They’re in the California hills, far enough away from civilization to be beautiful and lush, close enough to be convenient. It’s exactly where Logan would choose to live, were he the grown up he pretends to be. The house itself is lovely, not too big or too small, and the shutters match the door (mismatched shutters and doors has always been one of Logan’s pet peeves). All in all, this would be the perfect place to grow up.
Logan looks to Kendall and notices him fidgeting, pulling his shirt taut over his protruding belly. It’s only this nervous habit that ever reveals anything amiss with Kendall’s body. Logan reaches over and smoothes his hand over Kendall’s stomach, another nervous habit, both boys reminding themselves the baby is still there, reminding themselves Kendall is still making it.
They’re both attached, though neither admits it.
A man opens the door, a bright smile on his face when he sees them. He’s handsome, salt and pepper hair and shining blue eyes. “You must be Kendall and Logan,” he says, opening the door wide. “I’m Nathan.” He shakes both their hands and ushers them inside to a sitting room.
“Nice to meet you, Nathan,” says Logan.
“Please, call me Nate.”
“Your home is beautiful, Nate,” Kendall says.
“Thank you. You must be Kendall?” Nate gestures to the boys to sit on the sofa as he takes a seat across from them.
“Is it that obvious?” Kendall asks, looking down at his stomach.
“No, it’s really not. I only see because I’m looking for it.” There’s something familiar about Nate, but Kendall can’t quite put his finger on it. He thinks Nate must just have one of those faces.
“Is your p-partner here?” Logan asks, looking around. He notices the room is already kid-proofed, empty sockets covered with plugs, all the knick-knacks and pictures placed up high.
“My husband,” Nate laughs.
“Sorry.” As though Logan weren’t feeling awkward enough.
“No worries.” Nate stands and walks to the entrance of the room. “Heath! Kendall and Logan are here!” he shouts.
They all hear footsteps, running footsteps, bounding down the stairs.
“He’s really excited,” Nate says, his eyes crinkling in the corners as a look of fondness falls over his face.
Heath pops into the sitting room, face jubilant. Logan and Kendall can’t help but grin at him.
“Hey, guys!” Heath greets, shaking hands vigorously. “You two are so cute! I bet this baby will be adorable.”
They all laugh as Logan blushes.
“Look, Nate, he’s blushing. So charming,” Heath stage whispers. Kendall elbows Logan in the ribs.
Nate and Heath sit across from Kendall and Logan and there’s an awkward silence. Heath doesn’t let it last long.
“So how are you feeling, Kendall?”
“Good.” Kendall nods. “I finally stopped puking every day. My back’s a little sore but Logie helps out with that.”
“Kendall, I’ve told you not to call me that in public,” Logan huffs, the blush that had barely retreated from his face coming back full force.
“No, no, it’s sweet,” Nate says. “I just want to start off by saying thank you to you two. The whole situation has been explained to us, and I know it has to be difficult. We’ve been wanting to start a family for years. This is just-as cheesy as it sounds-a dream come true for us.” He takes Heath’s hand and they share a smile. For the first time, Kendall is almost grateful he’s pregnant, if for nothing else than to help these two men.
“You’re welcome,” Kendall says, and he really, really means it.
“So you’re delivering in Florida?” Nate asks. Kendall and Logan nod. He fishes something out of his pocket and hands it to Kendall. “Here’s my card. If you can just have someone call me when you find out you’re having the baby, and we’ll get there as soon as possible.”
Kendall reads the card, the name of a law firm printed under Nate’s name. Impressive.
“Do you know what you’re having yet?” Heath asks.
“Yeah, actually,” Logan says, looking to Kendall for permission to continue. Kendall nods. “We just had an ultrasound last week and it’s a girl.”
The two men smile, congratulating each other and embracing. “That’s so amazing!” Heath breathes. “Oh my god, Nate, I’m so excited!”
“Heath already has the room mostly finished,” Nate explains. “He’s an artist. He was waiting to finish painting the walls until he found out the sex of the baby.”
“Do you want to see it?” Heath is too excited for the boys to refuse him, so they nod. He jumps up and they all follow him up the stairs, Logan behind Kendall with his hand on the small of Kendall’s back. He doesn’t want him to trip and fall.
When they get into the room, neither boy can hide their reactions. The room is filled with stuffed animals, a rocking chair stationed in the corner by a beautiful crib. Hanging from the ceiling are stars and moons, and the walls are painted in a jungle theme. There are trees and exotic birds and wild animals. The trees are realistic, but the animals are painted in a way they look plush and huggable. There are already packs of diapers and clothes stacked on a changing table.
“I couldn’t help myself,” Heath says. He walks over to the clothes and holds up a little yellow sundress, fabric daisies as the straps. “I made this just in case.”
Nate points to the one wall still blank. “We were waiting to figure out a name so he can paint it there.”
For the first time, Kendall allows himself to feel a little jealous, a little sad at what he’s giving up. The baby moves inside him and he puts a protective hand on his middle.
“Are you okay?” Logan asks, concerned.
“She’s just moving,” Kendall replies. Nate and Heath’s faces light up and they move in close to Kendall.
“May I?” Heath requests.
For a silly moment, Kendall wants to say no, wants to keep the child to himself as long as he can, but his expression softens. He smiles tentatively. “Sure,” he whispers, moving his hand.
The two men coo and whisper love to Kendall’s stomach, and he looks at Logan over their heads. Logan has this sad smile on his face and Kendall has to glance away.
Once the baby stops moving, Nate and Heath reluctantly drop their hands away.
“Do you boys want something to eat or drink?” Heath asks.
“Sure,” Logan replies, knowing how Kendall is always hungry. “Do you have any sauerkraut? Kendall can’t get enough of the stuff.”
“I don’t think so,” Heath laughs. “But I think we have a big jar of pickles. Don’t pregnant people love pickles?”
“It’s true,” Kendall offers. Heath makes his way to the door to get refreshments.
“I’ll help you.” Logan follows him out. The two who stayed behind watch them until they hear the other’s feet on the stairs.
“Is this terribly hard for you?” Nate asks, obviously picking up on the emo vibes Kendall put off.
“Harder than I could’ve imagined.” The answer is honest and true. It seems Kendall’s emotions grow along with his middle.
“You’re doing the right thing. And I’m not just saying that since I’m so vested in this. A baby is hard on a young couple just starting out.”
“A couple?”
“Yes, you and Logan,” Nate replies.
“Oh,” Kendall laughs, “we’re not a couple. A couple of nuts, maybe.”
“Really?” Nate is genuinely confused. He obviously knew about how this pregnancy happened. Why would he think Kendall and Logan were together?”
“Really,” Kendall answers.
“You two just seem to know each other so well.” Nate shakes his head. “Everything about you two, even your movements, just seem to complement one other. Like a dance.”
“We’ve been best friends since we were eight,” Kendall says. “And, of course, we’re in the band together, so we do dance together a lot. It’s probably from all of that.”
Nate gives Kendall this knowing smirk, and Kendall doesn’t like it, but he keeps his mouth shut.
“Are you sure that’s it?” Nate asks.
“Yes, I’m sure,” Kendall answers. And, yeah, Kendall is sure he’s sure.
Kendall is sure he’s sure, but his subconscious isn’t, because after that day, Kendall dreams of Logan every night. And some dreams he’s really not comfortable thinking about when he’s awake.
~oOo~
Kendall is almost six months along when their “people” decide it’s time for him to go into hiding. Logan really doesn’t mind. With the hustle and bustle of California, it’ll be nice to just be Kendall and Logan for awhile. It’s been a long, long time since they were just Kendall and Logan.
Except it’s hard the first week or two; Kendall is so very pregnant and moody. Florida is more humid than California, so Kendall keeps the house freezing. They have separate rooms here, which is odd since they’ve become so accustomed to being together. Logan is somewhat grateful though; he keeps a space heater going in his room to keep from falling into hypothermic shock. It still doesn’t stop him from hearing Kendall getting up and down all night.
One night, Kendall calls out to Logan, and his voice is almost panicked. Though he’s coming out of a dead sleep, Logan rushes to Kendall’s room to find him sitting up, the lamp next to the bed clicked on. It doesn’t take a genius to see Kendall is terrified.
“What is it, Ken?” Logan asks, moving to the bed and sitting on the edge, putting a comforting hand on Kendall’s leg.
“I had a really bad dream.” Kendall puts both hands on his stomach, and Logan doesn’t have to ask what it was about.
“Oh. Oh, I’m so sorry, but it wasn’t real, okay? You should try to go back to sleep.” Logan stands and adjusts Kendall’s pillows as Kendall lies down on his side. He pushes a pillow under Kendall’s stomach, one against his back and one between his knees.
“Better?” Logan asks. Kendall nods.
“Leave the light on?”
“Of course, I will.” Logan brushes Kendall’s hair back from his face, and Kendall closes his eyes. As Logan turns to leave, Kendall’s hand encircles his wrist with a firm grip. Logan turns back to Kendall.
“Huh?” Logan takes in Kendall’s eyes, now open again and full of pleading. “Okay, Ken. Okay. Move over a little?”
Logan scoots into bed behind Kendall, drapes an arm over his middle. The baby kicks under his hand as Kendall nestles in, the back of his head against Logan’s chest. “Everything will be fine,” Logan hums into Kendall’s hair.
Part Four