because if I can't save these feels you can be damn well sure I'll avenge them

[candidlily]

Welp, I saw Avengers again today, and sure enough I'm back with more feels!

• First of all, let me get the shallow(est?) note out of the way first and confirm that even though there are so many people to choose from, Hawkeye just does it for me. JFC you guys, I just lose my shit when he shoots that one Chitauri that's behind him without even looking at it. I don't care if that doesn't make sense in the 'real world,' come on, this is comic book stuff. And all the other shots! And helping out Tony! Ugh I could watch a whole movie of this dude shooting things. Oh god, and when he's leaning back and looking up at Natasha when he says, "Do you know what it's like to be unmade?" JESUS. No okay, I'm not going to be able to be coherent about this one. More eloquent meta to follow.
  
• Speaking of Tony, I've realized that I never ever call him Iron Man. I went to see the movie with a group (the Charlotte Geeks, LOVE IT), which meant we went out to eat after and ~discussed things, and even when Tony IS Iron Man, I just, he's Tony. I don't know, it all goes back to my feels about Tony I'm sure, and I'll be discussing those shortly. Does anyone else do that? I call everyone else by their superhero name more or as often as their real name, but I never really thought about it until I heard myself do it yesterday at dinner.
  
• Okay, Bruce feels first, because I think everyone in the world has come out of this movie with Bruce feels. Someone at dinner asked, Why had Bruce come back and joined them? It seemed unclear? She referenced, "I know the one guy said he was awake when he fell and didn't hurt anyone," which I personally hadn't thought of as a conscious decision but good point, but "that doesn't seem like enough." My response to her was a less enthusiastic summation of this: TONY! Bruce had always looked at the Hulk (the "Other Guy") as a curse first and foremost if not entirely, but Tony not only expressed a different opinion, but he was CONVINCED of it. A guy that's super smart and also kind of messed up himself was able to get through to Bruce, show him the positive aspect of the Hulk. Which I think helped calm the Hulk himself too. We saw him taking orders from Steve and working with the team and catching Tony, and even his hositility in punching Thor was more or less leftover from their last encounter (also HILARIOUS). He was a PART of the team both as Bruce and as the Hulk. He didn't even know about Tony's faith in him (yet), how he was asking about him because he KNEW he'd show up, but the groundwork was obviously there because he showed up all the same.
  
• Which brings me to Bruce/Tony. I ship them more as bros, but that doesn't mean I don't read and appreciate all the wonderful fic that has started sprouting up. Either way is good. But I can definitely get behind the pairing because omg, smart guys geeking out over shared passions! SCIENCE BROS! And my heart clenches every time I see the part in the movie when Tony asks if Bruce is there yet, and the others are like "...wtf." Like no one else even THOUGHT it could happen, but Tony was CONVINCED. They obviously had an understanding beneath it all, an instant bond, and that is why I could ship it romantically and also why I can easily see them becoming bffs.
  
• So let me go back to Tony for a bit. Tony who broke my heart again and again in this movie. Tony who essentially brought the group together - he got the Hulk there, at least - and who doesn't consider himself all that important, despite his posturing. When Steve comments that he only fights for himself, Tony doesn't even argue, and I want to reach out to the screen with one hand while the other clutches at my heart, because TONY! And then - kudos on the direction - because that shot of his eyes staring out at the explosion as he falls powerless back to earth - maybe not to make it - pretty much kills me to watch. In the tense silence that surrounds his fall, when they're all staring up and gritting their teeth, you can just imagine Steve recalling his words about the sacrifice play and regretting them. Well, that's what I imagine anyway. Tony just gets to me in every way because he doesn't see his own worth and he's constantly striving to prove himself, and I just want everyone to gather around and tell him he's doing well. He's doing good. You know? I want the story about how after the shawarma everyone made it clear to Tony that next time they were going to have a plan and work TOGETHER without anyone taking stupid risks. If not everyone then at least Steve.
  
• Yeah so obviously my mind is still all Steve/Tony all the time. I absolutely love each of their moments together, even when they're being assholes to each other because it's DEVELOPMENT which is just what I want in all stories. Tony tells Steve he's "not of use" once the first bout of fighting's over, which is a low blow, and then Steve says things we know are the WORST for Tony, though he doesn't know that. As someone more eloquently stated on Tumblr (I think it was gyzym?), Steve is surely thinking of Bucky and how he's gone and Tony ISN'T Bucky and how dare he be here and all arrogant when Bucky CAN'T BE. (Though I do have Winter Soldier and Natasha/Bucky feels but that's a story for a different day.) That conversation is great as previously mentioned because Steve is proven so spectacularly wrong, as he should be. I've got a vague idea of how Steve's awkward apology would go, because of course he would apologize.
  
  And omg, their next argument, when Steve wants Tony to suit up and 'go a few rounds,' jfc. First, of course Steve won't actually physically fight Tony without the suit. OF COURSE. Second, THIS IS THE SCENE I WILL POINT TO WHEN SOMEONE ASKS WHAT UST IS. ("Oh I'm starting to want you to make me," YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP, UNF.) And third, it's perfect because when things get serious a minute later, they drop it and deal with business. Which you could read as petty differences pushed aside to get shit done or you COULD read as putting aside the flirtation for a more appropriate time, GUESS WHICH ONE I CHOOSE. I think my favorite Steve/Tony moment though, is during the big final fight, when Tony fires at the shield to ricochet and take down the baddies, because TALK ABOUT BEING IN SYNC. They don't even say anything, they just get in formation, do it, move on! Which means either they had a chance to talk about this and strategize, or they're just that in sync, but either way I'm happy.
  
• Okay, moving on from Steve/Tony because I could go on for pages but I suppose I could save that for fic. Let's talk about TEAMWORK. There are so many moments in this film where I want to scream FUCK YEAH TEAMWORK! First off, it isn't used in battle but it COULD be - Thor supercharging Tony, HOW AWESOME IS THAT. And then Steve helping Natasha hop up to hitch a ride, and the Steve/Tony ricochet shot, and Clint giving Tony direction, just so many awesome combinations! And of course the Hulk catching Tony, and then WAKING HIM UP BY ROARING; so much love. "Please tell me nobody kissed me" - I'm reading that one as 'because I don't want to have missed it.' :P
  
• In other news, I'd really love a Black Widow movie (including Hawkeye!). I've really fallen for Clint/Natasha because they're BOTH the 'emotions are for the weak' types so their relationship could build for AGES before either of them acknowledged it. I am a TOTAL sucker for the fics where everybody else KNOWS it's happening but the two people in the relationship are the only two that don't know, so. YES.
  
• And I love how Natasha gets shit done, not just with her badass moves but with CLEVERNESS, using people's misconceptions of her against them flawlessly. She and Clint both exhibit a level of understanding far exceeding the other SHIELD agents', like Clint pointing out about the tesseract being a portal, and all of Tasha's persuasion.
  
• Okay I need to go to bed. TO SUM UP: I LOVE EVERYTHING. And wasn't it typical Joss to have us laughing and loving Coulson moments before he got stabbed? Ugh it's 'leaf on the wind' all over again. But thank you THANK YOU that the death was meaningful, even if I'm still in denial that it really happened.
  
• OH and I did want to fangirl the cinematography in the film. There are so many gorgeous shots that you might not even think about like seeing Cap's reflection in the bike mirror in the final battle, and Bruce's line delivery and transformation during "I'm always angry" (SO GOOD), and of course the 'A' at the end. This movie is gorgeous, and not just because of the cast. :P

Okay, I'll put a lid on the feels at least until I see it again, well, except in the comments. :P I'll be seeing it again on Wednesday night, ftr. :D

NEED MOAR ICONS. First item on tomorrow's to-do list. (PRIORITIES, I have them.)

(Note: Crossposted at Dreamwidth.)