I don't feel like I deserve the respect I get. (Which is none whatsoever) 
I don't understand why my whole life I've been treated like a pile of dog shit that has tainted someone's shoe
Maybe I am an awful, unliked, stupid little girl, full of ignorance and anger and lies
Maybe when I was made I was made flawed
A mark unseen by me, but known by others
" ( Read more... )

that peice of skin you roll between your fingers
silently in front of the mirror
i see the look in your eyes
that constant hunger
that uncontrollable oblivion
you set yourself up

and you feel beautiful in the mornings
sucking on ciggarettes and drinking black coffee
you have been shunned from a society you never really understood

your whole life you've ( Read more... )

Yea, I wear a good mask.
does that make me a good liar?

A face of paper mache, glitter sequins, and feathers.
Supposibly you can see the truth in one's eyes.

Am I right when I say I'm an honest person? Or am I lying to myself.

I always considered myself a bad liar...
Instead a con man looks back at me in the mirror

You fool, how easily you have lost ( Read more... )

going to indio tonight. its always strange being there. almost like time doesnt exist ( Read more... )

along with almost taking down the carport at my new place, i am rather pleased with myself.

waking up one day and relizing you dont need  anyone but yourself is breath taking. after 17 years being held prisoner, escaping to become yet another prisoner with a far more dangerous warden at my heels, or in my case up my nose, than running until i could ( Read more... )

It seems like its one thing after another.
cant i ever catch a break? I feel low, lower than low.
Reduced to chugging this 1 and a half liter Orange Soda to feel better.

The news is only depressing. I laugh at the thought of lifting my mood.
I am the bugs you scrape off your windshield.

once again i find myself counting days

My dreams are full of howling wolves and dirt mixed with blood ( Read more... )

My body's an empty house, the staircase of my spine is splintered ( Read more... )

i miss music, and my hair before i fucked it up.
atleast i didn't cut it.

i miss the summer, and it's false freedom. i miss long days and humid nights,
i miss the train tracks and the sound of thunder that storms bring

i miss my windows and the undertow, i miss the sky

and the stars
and the stars