Fixed [7/9] (Colby/OFC-Callie, PG-13)
Originally posted to mustangcandi and shared 11.21.07 through savecolby...
Title: Fixed, Part VII of IX
Characters/Pairings: Colby/OFC-Callie
Rating: PG-13 (implied adult situations)
Word Count: 3,743
Summary: Swallowing her pride was never something she’d been very good at…but for her heart’s sake, tonight would be the night she tried harder than any other.
Spoilers: possibly 3.24 - The Janus List
Notes/Warnings: The seventh part of the follow up series to Broken. I wrote all 9 "Fixed" pieces after 3.24 - The Janus List but before 4.01 - Trust Metric to resolve my issues with the situation so I could sleep at night. Any similarities between this and Trust Metric are PURELY coincidental...no credit is meant to have been taken or earned from this fan fic. It was all for my own personal therapy.
Before you read this piece, I highly recommend that you take a listen to "Storm" - a song by Lifehouse from the album Who We Are. It was the inspiration for this piece of the story and will play an important role in its ending. Beware the schmoop. Seriously. VERY Schmoopy.
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, regrettably - it's not mine.
She’d talked to Emily. She’d done the grocery shopping. She’d come home. She’d sliced, diced, chopped, thawed, macerated and marinated all that she could without actually needing to cook the dinner she had planned. She’d cleaned. She’d fired up the grill and started cooking everything but the steak. And then she’d finally showered...all in an attempt to distract herself from her nerves, Callie thought as she once again went over her mental check list before giving herself the once over in the mirror then making her way back to the kitchen.
The clock on the wall reminded her that some days, she was a little too efficient…and today happened to be one of them. She’d run out of things to do to keep her mind and hands occupied until the time when Colby would be arriving. She could feel her heart beat racing as her mind searched for anything she’d forgotten, anything at all to keep her from focusing on her thoughts of the night ahead.
She had no grand plan. Just dinner…and somehow she figured what was meant to be would be - even though it didn’t keep her from daydreaming about the way she hoped the evening would go. But those hopes seemed dangerous to her now and she didn’t want to spend her time this way.
She needed air. So, with a deep breath and another glance at the clock on the wall, she stepped out onto the back deck. For a moment, she stood just outside the doorway, surveying the sight before her. The grill was giving off its pleasant aroma where the potatoes were cooking. The table was set, with a single candle in a hurricane lamp casting its flickering light about the place settings. Just over the back railing, the ocean came to shore…bringing with it a slight chill in the air as it continued to warm from its winter hibernation as spring slowly came to fruition. Meanwhile the early spring sunlight slowly dwindled as the sun made its descent into the distant horizon. She’d done all she could do. All that was left now was to wait.
She stepped back into the house and slipped her arms into her FBI hooded sweatshirt, zipping it up before she returned to the back deck. For a moment, she reconsidered having dinner outside but the air was still fresh and it seemed it would be more fitting for the night ahead if she and Colby were once again together with the ocean. It was probably only her nerves making her shiver, she thought as she took another step out onto the porch and made her way to the railing.
She closed her eyes and listened to the soothing sounds of the water as it rhythmically came home to the shore only to escape once more into the vast horizon beyond and she breathed deeply of the scent. Instantly, it calmed her and for the first time since that morning, she allowed herself to think about the events of the day - specifically…the file.
She needed to remember all the things she had seen, letting each page…each picture come back to her as though it were still in her hands. Colby was the man she thought he was when she’d agreed to marry him…the man she’d fallen in love with…the man she fell in love with all over again today. He was the man she needed…and she had not trusted him. The truth was she was ashamed of herself. Swallowing her pride was never something she’d been very good at…but for her heart’s sake, tonight would be the night she tried harder than any other.
It was then that Callie heard the cab pull into the driveway. A look down at her cell phone told her Colby was just in time and that fact made her smile despite the way her stomach flip-flopped. This was it…she thought even as she pushed up her sleeves and made her way over to the grill. She quickly withdrew the steaks from the marinade and set them to cook before finally making her way back into the house. She took the container to the sink - rinsing it out and placing it in the dishwasher all the while trying to calm her racing heart. With the dishwasher closed once more, she took a deep breath, pushing back her shoulders and then she waited for the knock at the door…
Colby watched the cab drive away before he focused his attention back on the house. He wanted to bring flowers…to do something in thanks but he didn’t want to risk trying too hard. There was more at stake here than confusing formalities, he thought as he took a step closer to the front porch.
It was strange to him that he now felt awkward as he approached the front door. This had once been his home…his haven. This had been where he and Callie had shared their first date - a morning of surfing. That same morning had been the first time he’d kissed her. This was the house where they’d first made love, where they’d first talked about getting married. All things good in his life seemed to be wrapped inside this home…and yet the last time he was here, he had not been welcome. But this time, she’d invited him over…she’d asked him to join her. That had to count for something, he thought and with his hand in his pocket and his heart in his throat, he reached out and knocked on the door…
Even though she expected it, Callie still jumped at the sound of Colby knocking. She once again took a deep breath before she made her way over to the door, smiling softly as she opened it - silently thanking the heavens above for her gift of sight as she drank him in fully for the first time. He wore those perfect fitting blue jeans and a grey t-shirt underneath her favorite brown jacket whose material had seemingly been cut exactly to fit his form as his broad shoulders tapered down to his smaller waist. He was nothing if not incredibly handsome, she thought just before her eyes met his. “Hi,” she sighed somewhat wistfully as she held the door knob in one hand and the other braced her against the edge of the door as she leaned into it to admire him just a moment longer.
Colby’s heart had plummeted from his throat back into his chest before it sped up its rate at the sight of her. It was the little things about her that had stolen his breath - like the way she wore her favorite pair of jeans, the way the sleeves of her hooded jacket were pushed up, the way her pony tail bounced about behind her spreading her curls out over the hood at her neck…so beautiful in her simplicity. The hand that was not in his pocket moved to nervously rub the back of his neck as he looked at her somewhat sheepishly, feeling as though this might be their first date all over again. “Hey, Cal…Callie,” he sighed, wishing now as he looked at her that he hadn’t corrected himself.
Her smile shrank slightly as she listened to him correct himself once more, remembering that it was her own fault he felt he couldn’t call her by the name he’d always used. “Please, come in,” she said invitingly as she opened the door wider so that he had room to walk past her into the house.
He smiled again, his eyes meeting hers as he slipped in next to her, his body close enough to hers that he could smell the subtle scent of her as he moved. Meanwhile, Callie felt the heat of him as he moved and with it felt her body flush once more with memories and nerves. She took another breath as she closed the door and turned a smiling face once more in his direction.
“You’re right on time,” she said as she stepped into the kitchen. “Dinner will be ready…in…in just a few minutes,” she added wishing she could do something to ease this nervous tension between them as she looked at him, still standing just inside the doorway, his hands in his pockets. She took a step closer to the refrigerator while he gave her another smile and stepped closer to her.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” he asked, even as he remembered how this used to be part of their daily routine. He remembered how they would move with each other about the kitchen, tasting the food…sampling each other as they helped to cook the meals together and then share the clean up duties.
Callie seemed to read his thoughts then and smiled as she too remembered the times they’d shared in this kitchen…particularly one rainy afternoon across the counter. All the more reason why she’d taken care of everything she could think of before he got there, she reminded herself shaking the thoughts from her head. “Actually, I pretty much have everything all set. If…if you want to have a seat outside, maybe pour us some wine…I’ll be there in a minute,” she replied, now disappearing behind the door of the fridge as she opened it to remove the last of the items she’d need for dinner.
He gave her a quiet nod that she didn’t see before he turned and made his way outside. As soon as he opened the door and the sea air washed over him, some of the awkwardness he’d felt fled from him and he took a deep calming breath. He’d done exactly this same thing so many mornings before he left for the office…needing a quiet moment before the hectic day began. It always made him thankful for this place that he once called home, he thought as he casually shrugged out of his jacket and slipped it over the back of his chair. He continued to look out across the ocean waiting for Callie, moving his hands over the bottle of wine to open it without even looking and then pouring them each a glass just as he heard the door open again behind him.
He turned and their eyes met as she appeared from the house with her hands full of dishes and the items she’d retrieved from the fridge. Instinctively, he moved to help relieve her of her burden - setting the last of the items on the table as she smiled appreciatively at him before turning her attention to the grill. She turned the steaks over, sure that they needed just a few more minutes before she once again closed the grill and moved to face the eyes she felt watching her from behind.
Colby instantly met her gaze and fought the urge to look away as he moved to hand her the glass of wine he’d poured for her. With a quiet thank you, she took her first drink and enjoyed the way the wine warmed her as it traveled through her. He’d watched her take that first drink and now, looking again to her, he saw the remnants of the wine glistening from her lower lip…and had this been any other time between them, he would have closed the distance that separated them and tasted the wine from her lips - knowing from her, it would taste much sweeter. But tonight, there was more than distance keeping them apart and he gave another nervous smile as he moved a step back until he could lean against the rail, listening to the sounds of the ocean that filled the silence between them.
There was something else he hadn’t noticed. There was music coming softly from inside. Callie rarely played music when she had the sound of the ocean to soothe her. Colby knew that she only played music when she didn’t want the ocean to distract her. She wanted to be focused on something other than her long time friend as it crashed willingly to shore. And Colby took this as a hopeful sign.
He felt lighter then and he broke the silence between them as he watched her open the grill once more to remove the food she’d been preparing. “It’s a nice evening for this…for dinner outside,” he sighed, before taking another drink of wine and then moving to accept the plate she offered him.
She smiled in return, thankful for his voice on the air, as she replied, “I thought so. Winter’s been too long for California…it’s time…time for spring,” she answered, turning off the grill and leaving it to air out before she turned and set her plate down at the table. Colby couldn’t stop himself when he moved to pull out her chair and she smiled once more in appreciation as she sat down and he moved her closer to the table before he took the seat across from her.
The two were relatively quiet over dinner. When they did speak it was so Colby could compliment Callie on all that she’d made. They spoke absently about the change in the weather, about the colors of the sun as it slowly sank into the west. Anything light and casual…knowing that there were more important things to say but neither knew where to start.
When both had eaten their fill, they sat together quietly sipping their wine and resting in their chairs. From where Colby sat, he found it impossible to not take in the sight before him. Callie sat with her face turned up toward the setting sun. Her eyes were closed as she absorbed the remnants of warmth before the night air would bring more of a chill. The gentle ocean breeze tossed the stray strands of her hair even as it danced through her pony tail. He knew she’d never seemed more beautiful to him than she did in that moment...and this fact made him brave. There had been something on his mind since they first sat down to eat. Something he wanted to do, but was too afraid…but now as he once again heard the gentle music filtering in from the house and the next song began, he pushed himself away from the table and stood to his feet.
How long have I, been in this storm?
“Dance with me, Cal?” he softly spoke, and this time he didn’t bother to correct himself though his heart raced in anticipation of her answer.
So overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form. Water’s getting harder to tread, with these waves crashing over my head.
Callie felt the familiar tingle caused by hearing her name spoken freely from his lips before she turned to look up at him. He was smiling down at her with his hand outstretched, just as he had done so many times when they were together. There had been many moonlit dances, just the two of them - swaying to the rhythm of the ocean…and the memory of those nights made her smile even as she reached for his hand and stood to meet him.
If I could just see you, everything would be alright.
Colby’s heart stopped beating for a moment at the first feel of her hand in his. It had been so long…so long since he’d touched her. He wondered if this would be awkward, if she’d even let him hold her but as she stepped closer to him, his free arm went to her waist, sliding around behind her to hold her as they slowly began swaying to the music without a word passed between them. She was still keeping her distance, but even as they were, Colby could feel the warmth of her body. He could smell the shampoo from her hair, the familiar scent of her body wash…and he felt himself being transported back to before all this had happened - back to when she was his and they shared moments like this.
If I'd see you, this darkness would turn to light.
Callie was looking up into his eyes, searching them - wondering what he was thinking…how he was feeling. Was it her imagination or was his heart racing to match her own? Why was it she just couldn’t seem to find the words she needed to say…she needed to tell him that she was sorry…that she wanted him back. That she missed him. And yet, as they moved, all she could do was take a step closer, pressing her body more fully against his as they continued to sway to the music.
And I will walk on water. And you will catch me if I fall. And I will get lost into your eyes.
Colby could feel her body relaxing into his and the sensation of her nearness nearly stole his breath. He had missed this. He had missed the feel of her in his arms. He had missed the way she smiled. The way she laughed. The way she looked at him as though he were the only man in existence…just as she was looking up at him now. His arm tightened about her waist as he smiled down at her, a second before he moved her hand in his to his lips. He kissed her softly before he moved so that her hand could rest over his heart, still clutching at her.
I know everything will be alright. I know everything is alright.
This new hold he had on her…this familiarity of him, holding her - it was doing more for her than all the words she could have managed to say. Somehow she felt that they would be all right. They would talk…they would work through this, but for right now…this was all they needed. They needed this dance, this nearness and as she accepted this, she moved so that she could rest her head on his shoulder, furrowing herself against him as her hand resting at his shoulder moved to slide to his neck. Her fingers gently ran up into his hair as she cradled his neck in her hand, all the while closing her eyes and absorbing every thing about this moment.
Colby’s body tingled with the feel of her hands at his neck. He closed his eyes against this new, familiar position as he moved to rest his head against hers, just absorbing the feel of her in his arms.
I know you didn't bring me out here to drown. So why am I 10 feet under and upside down?
He was losing himself in his thoughts. He wanted to make this right, to talk about it. But he didn’t want to interrupt this moment. It was too precious to him. But, he also wanted more of these moments…a lifetime of them in fact. No matter what had happened, she was still the one and only woman he wanted to marry. And if he didn’t say what was on his mind in that moment, he might never have the chance.
“Cal?” he spoke and his voice cracked slightly from his nerves.
When she moved her head from his shoulder so that she could fully look into his eyes, he took a deep breath and spoke. “What can I do to fix this…to fix us?”
Barely surviving has become my purpose, ‘cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface.
And there it was…he had opened the door. He wanted to fix this…to fix this gap between them. She knew this was no time for pride. This was the time to say exactly what was on her heart.
As her eyes looked into his, she simply spoke. “Forgive me.”
The look of pleading in her eyes with her words instantly dropped him to his knees. Both her hands were in his as he looked up at her. “Cal, there is nothing to forgive. I’m the one who needs to beg forgiveness. And I will every day for the rest of my life if that’s what it takes to make this right.”
If I could just see you, everything would be alright. If I'd see you, this darkness would turn to light.
Callie would have smiled at his words if the seriousness of the situation hadn’t come home to her. She eased herself down to her knees so that she could once again look directly into his eyes so that he could truly see she meant the words she spoke. “I should have trusted you. I should have trusted us. I’m sorry, Colby. I’m so sorry.” And there were tears in her eyes.
“Oh, Cal. My sweet Cal,” he sighed, moving to take her face in his hands. “I’m sorry I ever gave you a reason to doubt,” he nearly whispered for the emotion in his voice as his thumbs caressed her cheeks.
And I will walk on water. And you will catch me if I fall. And I will get lost into your eyes. I know everything will be alright. I know everything is alright.
Feeling his hands upon her skin, she moved to rest her hands over each of his on her face, looking at him through her tears…seeing him truly for the first time since every thing had gone wrong. And there it was…the light in his eyes…it was back. And she smiled.
Everything's alright.
Her smile seemed to light up the darkening sky, melting with it the frigid air surrounding his heart and as he looked at her, he returned her smile with his own before slowly, he moved in…ever closer to her, wondering if she would accept him and softly moaning when his lips first tasted hers. He kissed her gently, asking no more and no less than she would offer. But as her body melted further into his, he needed more. His hands moved to wrap around her waist, clutching at her, shaping her form to his own. As his hands moved over her, she sighed - opening herself more fully to his advances and he capitalized on this moment - kissing her deeply, tasting of her freely…each motion of his lips over hers rekindling every thing that once was between them. And they both knew…every thing would be alright.
Yeah, everything’s alright. [ original post]
<< Fixed, Part 6 Fixed, Part 8>>
Title: Fixed, Part VII of IX
Characters/Pairings: Colby/OFC-Callie
Rating: PG-13 (implied adult situations)
Word Count: 3,743
Summary: Swallowing her pride was never something she’d been very good at…but for her heart’s sake, tonight would be the night she tried harder than any other.
Spoilers: possibly 3.24 - The Janus List
Notes/Warnings: The seventh part of the follow up series to Broken. I wrote all 9 "Fixed" pieces after 3.24 - The Janus List but before 4.01 - Trust Metric to resolve my issues with the situation so I could sleep at night. Any similarities between this and Trust Metric are PURELY coincidental...no credit is meant to have been taken or earned from this fan fic. It was all for my own personal therapy.
Before you read this piece, I highly recommend that you take a listen to "Storm" - a song by Lifehouse from the album Who We Are. It was the inspiration for this piece of the story and will play an important role in its ending. Beware the schmoop. Seriously. VERY Schmoopy.
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, regrettably - it's not mine.
She’d talked to Emily. She’d done the grocery shopping. She’d come home. She’d sliced, diced, chopped, thawed, macerated and marinated all that she could without actually needing to cook the dinner she had planned. She’d cleaned. She’d fired up the grill and started cooking everything but the steak. And then she’d finally showered...all in an attempt to distract herself from her nerves, Callie thought as she once again went over her mental check list before giving herself the once over in the mirror then making her way back to the kitchen.
The clock on the wall reminded her that some days, she was a little too efficient…and today happened to be one of them. She’d run out of things to do to keep her mind and hands occupied until the time when Colby would be arriving. She could feel her heart beat racing as her mind searched for anything she’d forgotten, anything at all to keep her from focusing on her thoughts of the night ahead.
She had no grand plan. Just dinner…and somehow she figured what was meant to be would be - even though it didn’t keep her from daydreaming about the way she hoped the evening would go. But those hopes seemed dangerous to her now and she didn’t want to spend her time this way.
She needed air. So, with a deep breath and another glance at the clock on the wall, she stepped out onto the back deck. For a moment, she stood just outside the doorway, surveying the sight before her. The grill was giving off its pleasant aroma where the potatoes were cooking. The table was set, with a single candle in a hurricane lamp casting its flickering light about the place settings. Just over the back railing, the ocean came to shore…bringing with it a slight chill in the air as it continued to warm from its winter hibernation as spring slowly came to fruition. Meanwhile the early spring sunlight slowly dwindled as the sun made its descent into the distant horizon. She’d done all she could do. All that was left now was to wait.
She stepped back into the house and slipped her arms into her FBI hooded sweatshirt, zipping it up before she returned to the back deck. For a moment, she reconsidered having dinner outside but the air was still fresh and it seemed it would be more fitting for the night ahead if she and Colby were once again together with the ocean. It was probably only her nerves making her shiver, she thought as she took another step out onto the porch and made her way to the railing.
She closed her eyes and listened to the soothing sounds of the water as it rhythmically came home to the shore only to escape once more into the vast horizon beyond and she breathed deeply of the scent. Instantly, it calmed her and for the first time since that morning, she allowed herself to think about the events of the day - specifically…the file.
She needed to remember all the things she had seen, letting each page…each picture come back to her as though it were still in her hands. Colby was the man she thought he was when she’d agreed to marry him…the man she’d fallen in love with…the man she fell in love with all over again today. He was the man she needed…and she had not trusted him. The truth was she was ashamed of herself. Swallowing her pride was never something she’d been very good at…but for her heart’s sake, tonight would be the night she tried harder than any other.
It was then that Callie heard the cab pull into the driveway. A look down at her cell phone told her Colby was just in time and that fact made her smile despite the way her stomach flip-flopped. This was it…she thought even as she pushed up her sleeves and made her way over to the grill. She quickly withdrew the steaks from the marinade and set them to cook before finally making her way back into the house. She took the container to the sink - rinsing it out and placing it in the dishwasher all the while trying to calm her racing heart. With the dishwasher closed once more, she took a deep breath, pushing back her shoulders and then she waited for the knock at the door…
Colby watched the cab drive away before he focused his attention back on the house. He wanted to bring flowers…to do something in thanks but he didn’t want to risk trying too hard. There was more at stake here than confusing formalities, he thought as he took a step closer to the front porch.
It was strange to him that he now felt awkward as he approached the front door. This had once been his home…his haven. This had been where he and Callie had shared their first date - a morning of surfing. That same morning had been the first time he’d kissed her. This was the house where they’d first made love, where they’d first talked about getting married. All things good in his life seemed to be wrapped inside this home…and yet the last time he was here, he had not been welcome. But this time, she’d invited him over…she’d asked him to join her. That had to count for something, he thought and with his hand in his pocket and his heart in his throat, he reached out and knocked on the door…
Even though she expected it, Callie still jumped at the sound of Colby knocking. She once again took a deep breath before she made her way over to the door, smiling softly as she opened it - silently thanking the heavens above for her gift of sight as she drank him in fully for the first time. He wore those perfect fitting blue jeans and a grey t-shirt underneath her favorite brown jacket whose material had seemingly been cut exactly to fit his form as his broad shoulders tapered down to his smaller waist. He was nothing if not incredibly handsome, she thought just before her eyes met his. “Hi,” she sighed somewhat wistfully as she held the door knob in one hand and the other braced her against the edge of the door as she leaned into it to admire him just a moment longer.
Colby’s heart had plummeted from his throat back into his chest before it sped up its rate at the sight of her. It was the little things about her that had stolen his breath - like the way she wore her favorite pair of jeans, the way the sleeves of her hooded jacket were pushed up, the way her pony tail bounced about behind her spreading her curls out over the hood at her neck…so beautiful in her simplicity. The hand that was not in his pocket moved to nervously rub the back of his neck as he looked at her somewhat sheepishly, feeling as though this might be their first date all over again. “Hey, Cal…Callie,” he sighed, wishing now as he looked at her that he hadn’t corrected himself.
Her smile shrank slightly as she listened to him correct himself once more, remembering that it was her own fault he felt he couldn’t call her by the name he’d always used. “Please, come in,” she said invitingly as she opened the door wider so that he had room to walk past her into the house.
He smiled again, his eyes meeting hers as he slipped in next to her, his body close enough to hers that he could smell the subtle scent of her as he moved. Meanwhile, Callie felt the heat of him as he moved and with it felt her body flush once more with memories and nerves. She took another breath as she closed the door and turned a smiling face once more in his direction.
“You’re right on time,” she said as she stepped into the kitchen. “Dinner will be ready…in…in just a few minutes,” she added wishing she could do something to ease this nervous tension between them as she looked at him, still standing just inside the doorway, his hands in his pockets. She took a step closer to the refrigerator while he gave her another smile and stepped closer to her.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” he asked, even as he remembered how this used to be part of their daily routine. He remembered how they would move with each other about the kitchen, tasting the food…sampling each other as they helped to cook the meals together and then share the clean up duties.
Callie seemed to read his thoughts then and smiled as she too remembered the times they’d shared in this kitchen…particularly one rainy afternoon across the counter. All the more reason why she’d taken care of everything she could think of before he got there, she reminded herself shaking the thoughts from her head. “Actually, I pretty much have everything all set. If…if you want to have a seat outside, maybe pour us some wine…I’ll be there in a minute,” she replied, now disappearing behind the door of the fridge as she opened it to remove the last of the items she’d need for dinner.
He gave her a quiet nod that she didn’t see before he turned and made his way outside. As soon as he opened the door and the sea air washed over him, some of the awkwardness he’d felt fled from him and he took a deep calming breath. He’d done exactly this same thing so many mornings before he left for the office…needing a quiet moment before the hectic day began. It always made him thankful for this place that he once called home, he thought as he casually shrugged out of his jacket and slipped it over the back of his chair. He continued to look out across the ocean waiting for Callie, moving his hands over the bottle of wine to open it without even looking and then pouring them each a glass just as he heard the door open again behind him.
He turned and their eyes met as she appeared from the house with her hands full of dishes and the items she’d retrieved from the fridge. Instinctively, he moved to help relieve her of her burden - setting the last of the items on the table as she smiled appreciatively at him before turning her attention to the grill. She turned the steaks over, sure that they needed just a few more minutes before she once again closed the grill and moved to face the eyes she felt watching her from behind.
Colby instantly met her gaze and fought the urge to look away as he moved to hand her the glass of wine he’d poured for her. With a quiet thank you, she took her first drink and enjoyed the way the wine warmed her as it traveled through her. He’d watched her take that first drink and now, looking again to her, he saw the remnants of the wine glistening from her lower lip…and had this been any other time between them, he would have closed the distance that separated them and tasted the wine from her lips - knowing from her, it would taste much sweeter. But tonight, there was more than distance keeping them apart and he gave another nervous smile as he moved a step back until he could lean against the rail, listening to the sounds of the ocean that filled the silence between them.
There was something else he hadn’t noticed. There was music coming softly from inside. Callie rarely played music when she had the sound of the ocean to soothe her. Colby knew that she only played music when she didn’t want the ocean to distract her. She wanted to be focused on something other than her long time friend as it crashed willingly to shore. And Colby took this as a hopeful sign.
He felt lighter then and he broke the silence between them as he watched her open the grill once more to remove the food she’d been preparing. “It’s a nice evening for this…for dinner outside,” he sighed, before taking another drink of wine and then moving to accept the plate she offered him.
She smiled in return, thankful for his voice on the air, as she replied, “I thought so. Winter’s been too long for California…it’s time…time for spring,” she answered, turning off the grill and leaving it to air out before she turned and set her plate down at the table. Colby couldn’t stop himself when he moved to pull out her chair and she smiled once more in appreciation as she sat down and he moved her closer to the table before he took the seat across from her.
The two were relatively quiet over dinner. When they did speak it was so Colby could compliment Callie on all that she’d made. They spoke absently about the change in the weather, about the colors of the sun as it slowly sank into the west. Anything light and casual…knowing that there were more important things to say but neither knew where to start.
When both had eaten their fill, they sat together quietly sipping their wine and resting in their chairs. From where Colby sat, he found it impossible to not take in the sight before him. Callie sat with her face turned up toward the setting sun. Her eyes were closed as she absorbed the remnants of warmth before the night air would bring more of a chill. The gentle ocean breeze tossed the stray strands of her hair even as it danced through her pony tail. He knew she’d never seemed more beautiful to him than she did in that moment...and this fact made him brave. There had been something on his mind since they first sat down to eat. Something he wanted to do, but was too afraid…but now as he once again heard the gentle music filtering in from the house and the next song began, he pushed himself away from the table and stood to his feet.
How long have I, been in this storm?
“Dance with me, Cal?” he softly spoke, and this time he didn’t bother to correct himself though his heart raced in anticipation of her answer.
So overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form. Water’s getting harder to tread, with these waves crashing over my head.
Callie felt the familiar tingle caused by hearing her name spoken freely from his lips before she turned to look up at him. He was smiling down at her with his hand outstretched, just as he had done so many times when they were together. There had been many moonlit dances, just the two of them - swaying to the rhythm of the ocean…and the memory of those nights made her smile even as she reached for his hand and stood to meet him.
If I could just see you, everything would be alright.
Colby’s heart stopped beating for a moment at the first feel of her hand in his. It had been so long…so long since he’d touched her. He wondered if this would be awkward, if she’d even let him hold her but as she stepped closer to him, his free arm went to her waist, sliding around behind her to hold her as they slowly began swaying to the music without a word passed between them. She was still keeping her distance, but even as they were, Colby could feel the warmth of her body. He could smell the shampoo from her hair, the familiar scent of her body wash…and he felt himself being transported back to before all this had happened - back to when she was his and they shared moments like this.
If I'd see you, this darkness would turn to light.
Callie was looking up into his eyes, searching them - wondering what he was thinking…how he was feeling. Was it her imagination or was his heart racing to match her own? Why was it she just couldn’t seem to find the words she needed to say…she needed to tell him that she was sorry…that she wanted him back. That she missed him. And yet, as they moved, all she could do was take a step closer, pressing her body more fully against his as they continued to sway to the music.
And I will walk on water. And you will catch me if I fall. And I will get lost into your eyes.
Colby could feel her body relaxing into his and the sensation of her nearness nearly stole his breath. He had missed this. He had missed the feel of her in his arms. He had missed the way she smiled. The way she laughed. The way she looked at him as though he were the only man in existence…just as she was looking up at him now. His arm tightened about her waist as he smiled down at her, a second before he moved her hand in his to his lips. He kissed her softly before he moved so that her hand could rest over his heart, still clutching at her.
I know everything will be alright. I know everything is alright.
This new hold he had on her…this familiarity of him, holding her - it was doing more for her than all the words she could have managed to say. Somehow she felt that they would be all right. They would talk…they would work through this, but for right now…this was all they needed. They needed this dance, this nearness and as she accepted this, she moved so that she could rest her head on his shoulder, furrowing herself against him as her hand resting at his shoulder moved to slide to his neck. Her fingers gently ran up into his hair as she cradled his neck in her hand, all the while closing her eyes and absorbing every thing about this moment.
Colby’s body tingled with the feel of her hands at his neck. He closed his eyes against this new, familiar position as he moved to rest his head against hers, just absorbing the feel of her in his arms.
I know you didn't bring me out here to drown. So why am I 10 feet under and upside down?
He was losing himself in his thoughts. He wanted to make this right, to talk about it. But he didn’t want to interrupt this moment. It was too precious to him. But, he also wanted more of these moments…a lifetime of them in fact. No matter what had happened, she was still the one and only woman he wanted to marry. And if he didn’t say what was on his mind in that moment, he might never have the chance.
“Cal?” he spoke and his voice cracked slightly from his nerves.
When she moved her head from his shoulder so that she could fully look into his eyes, he took a deep breath and spoke. “What can I do to fix this…to fix us?”
Barely surviving has become my purpose, ‘cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface.
And there it was…he had opened the door. He wanted to fix this…to fix this gap between them. She knew this was no time for pride. This was the time to say exactly what was on her heart.
As her eyes looked into his, she simply spoke. “Forgive me.”
The look of pleading in her eyes with her words instantly dropped him to his knees. Both her hands were in his as he looked up at her. “Cal, there is nothing to forgive. I’m the one who needs to beg forgiveness. And I will every day for the rest of my life if that’s what it takes to make this right.”
If I could just see you, everything would be alright. If I'd see you, this darkness would turn to light.
Callie would have smiled at his words if the seriousness of the situation hadn’t come home to her. She eased herself down to her knees so that she could once again look directly into his eyes so that he could truly see she meant the words she spoke. “I should have trusted you. I should have trusted us. I’m sorry, Colby. I’m so sorry.” And there were tears in her eyes.
“Oh, Cal. My sweet Cal,” he sighed, moving to take her face in his hands. “I’m sorry I ever gave you a reason to doubt,” he nearly whispered for the emotion in his voice as his thumbs caressed her cheeks.
And I will walk on water. And you will catch me if I fall. And I will get lost into your eyes. I know everything will be alright. I know everything is alright.
Feeling his hands upon her skin, she moved to rest her hands over each of his on her face, looking at him through her tears…seeing him truly for the first time since every thing had gone wrong. And there it was…the light in his eyes…it was back. And she smiled.
Everything's alright.
Her smile seemed to light up the darkening sky, melting with it the frigid air surrounding his heart and as he looked at her, he returned her smile with his own before slowly, he moved in…ever closer to her, wondering if she would accept him and softly moaning when his lips first tasted hers. He kissed her gently, asking no more and no less than she would offer. But as her body melted further into his, he needed more. His hands moved to wrap around her waist, clutching at her, shaping her form to his own. As his hands moved over her, she sighed - opening herself more fully to his advances and he capitalized on this moment - kissing her deeply, tasting of her freely…each motion of his lips over hers rekindling every thing that once was between them. And they both knew…every thing would be alright.
Yeah, everything’s alright. [ original post]
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