Title: Just a Matter of Time: Part 8: "Turn that Dormouse out of court!"
Title: Just a Matter of Time: Part 8: "Turn that Dormouse out of court!"
Authors: art_of_mayhem and candygramme
Dean Winchester/Alex Krycek Appearances: Sam Winchester, John Winchester, Dana Scully, Fox Mulder and others.
Word Count: 3,626
Rated: This part is R.
Beta: The beautiful lorelei633, who has stuck with us to the bitter end.
Disclaimer: Dean belongs to Erik Kripke and Alex belongs to 1013 Productions. We make no money.
Spoilers: Not in this part. Later there may be vague spoilers to 'In My Time Of Dying'
Teaser: "I don't want you dying when I could've had a nice new life with you in the world of the twenty-first century."
Chapter titles are borrowed from "Alice in Wonderland"
This story is finished and complete, and we intend to post it rapidly
Dean closed his eyes, trying to sleep. He was lying against Alex's leg, and he could smell him, spicy and enticing as he snuggled back against the bend of his leg. He looked up, his eyes slightly glassy as the aspirin began to wear off and his temperature began to rise again. "Alex, I know my Dad loves me, but I wonder if he just got tired of fighting the demon. Why he gave up his soul to eternal damnation. Was he punishing himself for treating me the way he did or... was it just all for Sam? Was it all about knowing Sam would want me instead of him?"
"Maybe you're trying to read too much into things, baby. Maybe he loved you enough that he wanted you to live." Alex frowned. "Or maybe he knew and trusted you better than he knew and trusted himself. That's a possibility too." He laid his hand on Dean's neck and jumped. "Jesus Christ, you're burning up. We need to stop and get you some medicine. I don't want you dying when I could've had a nice new life with you in the world of the twenty-first century."
Dean didn't move but buried his head into Alex's leg. "Never had anyone care this much. Well, except for Sam maybe." He laughed a little harshly and didn’t move even when the cars pulled into a gas station.
John climbed out and walked over. "Why are we stopping?" He asked, looking in to see just flushed and ill looking Dean was. "Jesus!" He opened the door and reached for his son. "Dean?"
"I'm okay, Dad." Dean answered.
"No you aren't, you're burning up." He pulled away, "Get some ice and aspirins," John ordered Alex.
"He knows, Dad," Dean pushed himself up and groaned as his head swam.
Alex didn't waste time in argument. He raced for the store attached to the gas station and returned a short time later bearing aspirin, ice, a cold pack and a couple of bottles of water. Getting back into the car, he shook out a couple of the pills and handed them to Dean with a bottle of the water. "I'd have got you coffee, but I figured that this would do you more good, babe," he murmured.
He studied John, who certainly seemed to be concerned about his son. There's definitely love there, he thought as he watched John's obvious distress. He cares about Dean, even though it isn't the Dean he knows. Making up his mind to pass on his observations to Dean once they were under way, he viewed John more kindly. "He'll be okay. I think we were right, it's being in the wrong time that's making him sick. It's some sort of temporal shock."
John had been checking Dean over, touching his hand to him, wiping his brow. Dean was indeed burning up, and it worried him. He couldn't let his son die, not in this time. There was no telling what it would do to his own Dean. For all he knew, his son could be sick right now. He should call Jim and see if the boys were okay, although he didn't want to worry them needlessly. Holding off, John stood as Alex returned.
Dean took the pills from Alex. "You hear of anything like this before?" His eyes shifted to his father.
"No," John shook his head. "I’ve heard of old spirits, but nothing like this." He pointed to the bottles, "You drink those up, keep that ice pack on you. We’d better hurry. How much further, Dean?"
Dean shook his head. "About another hour?" He looked an inquiry at Alex then nodded confirmation. "Yeah, I think about another hour."
"Let's get going then." John closed the door and went back to the Impala.
Dean watched his father as far as he could before the mirror lost sight of him, then sighed softly before dropping his head back down upon Alex's leg.
For a long moment, Alex sat and gazed down at him, wishing there was more that he could do. His heart ached for the beautiful boy whose head was resting in his lap. Alex could feel the heat from him through his jeans, and the place where Dean was resting felt like a furnace.
He bent double so that he could kiss Dean's ear and then stroked the sweaty hair, brushing it back from his forehead. "God, baby, you're so sick. Come on, let's try and get you home."
He started the car going and pulled back onto the road, watching as John put the Impala into gear and fell in behind him. "I'm scared for you, Dean. This isn't getting any better, is it?"
Dean closed his eyes, one hand running over Alex's leg. "I'll be okay once the aspirins kick in. Really," he looked up at Alex. "Is Dad behind us?" He knew he really should crawl into the back seat, but Alex’s proximity made him feel somehow comforted. "Hey at least I'm not throwing up," he grinned.
"Yeah, he's right on my tail," nodded Alex, glancing in the rear-view mirror. "You're safe from my wiles, I promise. Papa's on the job." He shook his head and grinned. "And if you throw up in my lap, my sweet, I'll do something unpleasantly deviant to your ass." He chuckled out loud at Dean's little snort. "It'll probably involve my strong right hand and involve making it glow red."
"You threatening to spank me? Haven't had that since I was five. I have to tell you though, it's not much of a deterrent." He chuckled. "Hey, Alex, you don't think your FBI guy and his redhead will be looking for me do you? I mean, not that they would worry about me, but the last thing Dad and I need is the FBI on our tails."
"Depends on whether he realizes about your driver's license, babe." Alex mused, knowing that Mulder, once he got the bit between his teeth, was an unstoppable force. "He's seen it, so he's got it filed in his brain, and his eidetic memory tells me that he could someday pull it out of his memory and start to obsess, but I can't imagine why he would think of it." He fell silent, trying to find a comment that would soothe Dean. "Don't worry. If he comes looking, he won't find anything. You'll soon be back in... in whatever year you fell out of. Think, love, do you remember the Feds looking for you when you were sixteen or so?"
Dean shook his head, "No, because it was the first time I ever went on a hunt with my dad. Sam was in the back seat, and I nailed that thing. We drug it into the woods and burned it. That was when I knew I was meant to do this. I never looked back. You have to be a little twisted to hunt, you know." Dean smiled up at Alex. "But I don't think he will look for me. He didn't seem that interested. He didn't seem all that concerned I couldn't remember anything or my driver's license. And I don't think he will be able to find us anyway."
"Let's hope you're right." Alex nodded, pushing his foot down and accelerating along the highway. "Mulder's a law unto himself, but I don't see that he could do anything to you, even if he did track your family down. You're a minor, and even if you go killing ghosts and stuff, there actually isn't a law against it." He smiled down at Dean. "There's nothing in the constitution that protects poltergeists."
"Yeah but there is a law against credit card fraud, impersonating officers and the like, which is what we do. He can get our Dad on that, and where would that leave me and Sam in this time line? I mean, who is to say this is even the same time line as where I'm from. I don't remember any of this happening, and Dad sure as hell didn't talk about it if it did. There were a lot of things Dad didn't talk about, didn't tell us, especially about Sammy."
Dean pushed up from Alex's leg, sitting up only to slump in the seat. "God, Alex, I love the man, I really do but... but what I learned about him. What he told me before he died. I want to yell at him. I want to beat him 'til he can't get up for what he did to us. It's... It's been getting harder and harder to get out of bed every morning carrying the secret he gave me. I feel like we've been cheated. We lost our father to his crusade against the demon, and it didn't matter what we wanted or needed. All my life, all I ever wanted was his love. To be a kid and grow up to be what I wanted. I wasn't allowed to. It was like... like I was forced into this without even knowing. Now, I know I thought that I was meant for this but after his death... I don't know any more. I don't want to do it any more. All I want to do is take my brother and hide away, keep him from this evil. Protect him. But we'll never be able to run or hide from it. That's what really sucks. I never asked for this life, but now, thanks to Dad, it's a part of me. Part of my brother. And... and I hate him for it." He looked over to Alex. "I love him, but I hate him too. How fucked up is that?"
"Not half as fucked up as you might think, baby." Alex looked into his rear-view mirror again, checking that the Impala was still following and nodding when he saw that it was. "Your dad certainly seems to be an extreme case, doesn't he? He's so fierce about you - don't think I didn't realize he was trying to protect you from me last night. I think he's kind of possessive of you, and I can tell that he loves you, but he does tend to treat you more like a soldier in his private army than a well-loved kid."
Alex found himself playing with Dean's hair as he spoke, fingers stroking and caressing him as they continued their journey. "What did he tell you about your brother that's upset you so much?" he asked. "Wanna tell me?"
Dean played with Alex's jeans, not answering at first. "I can't," he whispered in looking up to Alex. "If and when I return..." He swallowed hard. "Dad has never been possessive of me. Sammy, but not me. He only loves me, so I can be there to take care of Sam. The Demon told me as much."
"The Demon was trying to hurt you, idiot boy," said Alex, wanting to give Dean what comfort he could. "You believe a demon? You're nuts. Even I can tell that your dad loves you - maybe he loves you in kind of the wrong way as well, because he sure wanted to get inside your pants, baby. He was pretty damned up front about that!"
He fell silent, wondering if Dean could relate to his words at all. "Take it from me, the guy is completely besotted by you, and I am too. Boy, you got people fighting over you."
"The demon was trying to kill me, not hurt me. And I would have died if it wasn't for Dad. I should be dead. I was dead," Dean whispered. "And our family has been fucked up for a very long time." Dean twisted himself so he could lie against the door, watching Alex, resting his head against the glass. "It was about possession, not love."
"I disagree. He was trying to hurt you in whatever way he could. He could've killed you much more easily than that, but it wouldn't have left you hurting. That's what he wanted - to cause all of you the maximum pain, and sure, you could've died, but only slowly, hating your dad and your brother for making you the odd one out. Am I getting warm? Am I getting close?" Alex gave Dean a tender smile. "You have to figure that a demon would say the one most damaging thing that would hurt you most." He smiled at Dean. "And they lie. Isn't the devil the father of lies?"
Dean nodded, "They do lie. They do. But there is always some truth behind their lies." Dean looked up to Alex. "We there yet?"
"What are you, six?" asked Alex, laughing. "We're about twenty miles out of Dallas. At this rate we'll be there in about a half hour, supposing you're able to pinpoint the place for us." He kissed the tip of his finger and transferred the kiss to Dean's cheek. "Although I don't really want to let you go home."
"There is no sure thing - no real reason to think that it will happen," Dean answered. "It could have been the jump point being as I ended up in the north. Dad could be right that we'll need to find those vortex energy fields out in Arizona."
They drove on. Dean dozed for a while, and awoke when Alex shook his shoulder gently.
Straightening himself up at last, Dean held his head feeling sick and more than a little dizzy. "Turn into this neighborhood. It was toward the back of the estate. There was a playground that they’d built over it. I remember, because Sam and I had to dig." Dean settled back in the seat, casting a glance back towards the Impala in the review mirror. He really needed to talk to his Dad. He needed to tell him not to do what he’d done. He had to do it for Sammy.
Alex followed Dean's instructions, pulling his car over to the right to enter the subdivision that Dean had indicated. He felt some weird heaviness hanging over him, as though he were racing headlong towards impending doom, but he couldn't say what or why. He drove along the road Dean had identified, until he came to a vacant lot that was fenced off. Parking, he turned to look at Dean, taking in the flushed cheeks and the heavy-eyed look. "Jesus, boy, you need to be in bed, and not for that reason, either," he murmured. "Can we wait and do this tomorrow, after you've rested? There's no playground here. I guess they built it after this time."
Dean pushed open the car door, looking over the area. He half expected Sam to come walking out of the air and smile at him, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. "It's right here, I know it." He started walking in the direction of the place he remembered.
"Dean?" John came up quickly to him and grabbed his son's arm.
"It's right here," Dean insisted. "I know it."
"Jesus, boy, you’re burning up," John whispered. "You need to lie down."
"No," Dean pushed him away and walked on. "It's right here. There was a hole right here," He wandered around, looking like a lost little boy.
Alex looked at John and shrugged, spreading his hands in a helpless gesture. "Your guess is as good as mine," he murmured. "He's really sick. I think he's disoriented from the fever, but he's the only one who knows where he was, so we'd better help him."
He followed Dean without waiting for John, catching up with him and slipping an arm around his shoulders. "You said that you and Sam had to dig, so maybe we'll need to do that too. Don't forget that, in my time, you haven't actually been here yet."
Dean looked about then up at Alex as his father joined them. "Well, there is no neighborhood here, but I guess I should go get the shovels." John’s voice was strained as he turned back to the car to go fetch them. He glanced back at Dean for a moment, his expression unreadable, before turning back.
Dean pulled off his jacket. The cooler air felt better upon his heated skin. "Let’s get this started."
Flushed skin and freckles, and really nice biceps distracted Alex, made him drool and caused him to step in closer, slide his arm around Dean's shoulders and kiss his neck. "Just show me where you want me to dig, gorgeous one, and I'll do what I do best!" Alex gave him a lopsided grin and took a shovel from John, who was frowning at him in a manner that made Alex chuckle and kiss Dean.
Dean kissed Alex in return, then moved away and went to scout out the exact spot. He finally looked up and then around before he turned call to the two men, "I think this is the spot." Grabbing a shovel, he was starting to dig when he felt his father's hand on his shoulder.
"Dean, you need to rest."
Dean shook his head and shook off his father's hand. "No, you told me I had to watch after Sammy, and that is what I have to do. He's all I..." Dean stopped, staring at his father with panic in his eyes.
"Let him do some of it, love," called Alex, looking at John meaningfully and then moving to start digging where Dean had indicated. John soon moved over to take the shovel from his son and began to dig, cursing softly under his breath. Alex sighed, looking at the two men. He ached for Dean - wanted desperately for his lover to be happy. He knew that he'd have to let him go if he returned to his own time, but he was unsure what to do about John and wondered if telling John what was going to happen would make a difference to the way their lives might unfold. Finally, up to his knees in the hole they were excavating, he laid down his shovel and went to Dean.
"Tell him, baby. Tell him exactly what's going to happen, and we'll see if that stops it."
Dean had been pacing, holding his head and mumbling to himself. He felt sick to his stomach. His head was hurting, and he knew that it was not because of the fever, either. He looked up when Alex approached him, closely resembling a lost puppy. Dean could never truly pull that look off like Sam could but his pain was evident.
He looked down, "What if it doesn't matter? What if..." Dean raised his head to look at Alex, "He's like me? Tired. The weight upon him... And Sammy..." Dean lowered his head again. He turned up to the sky again, avoiding Alex’s gaze as if it might burn him. "I guess I have to try, huh?" Dean knew that if he went back he’d already had problems handling things. He suspected that it would only get worse. He just couldn't do it.
He stepped closer to Alex, "Thank you," he whispered, leaning in and giving him a kiss. "I won't forget this. I won't forget you." He cleared his throat, making it obvious he wasn’t comfortable admitting things like that, and then he stepped around Alex, heading over to his father. "Dad, we need to talk."
Authors: art_of_mayhem and candygramme
Dean Winchester/Alex Krycek Appearances: Sam Winchester, John Winchester, Dana Scully, Fox Mulder and others.
Word Count: 3,626
Rated: This part is R.
Beta: The beautiful lorelei633, who has stuck with us to the bitter end.
Disclaimer: Dean belongs to Erik Kripke and Alex belongs to 1013 Productions. We make no money.
Spoilers: Not in this part. Later there may be vague spoilers to 'In My Time Of Dying'
Teaser: "I don't want you dying when I could've had a nice new life with you in the world of the twenty-first century."
Chapter titles are borrowed from "Alice in Wonderland"
This story is finished and complete, and we intend to post it rapidly
Dean closed his eyes, trying to sleep. He was lying against Alex's leg, and he could smell him, spicy and enticing as he snuggled back against the bend of his leg. He looked up, his eyes slightly glassy as the aspirin began to wear off and his temperature began to rise again. "Alex, I know my Dad loves me, but I wonder if he just got tired of fighting the demon. Why he gave up his soul to eternal damnation. Was he punishing himself for treating me the way he did or... was it just all for Sam? Was it all about knowing Sam would want me instead of him?"
"Maybe you're trying to read too much into things, baby. Maybe he loved you enough that he wanted you to live." Alex frowned. "Or maybe he knew and trusted you better than he knew and trusted himself. That's a possibility too." He laid his hand on Dean's neck and jumped. "Jesus Christ, you're burning up. We need to stop and get you some medicine. I don't want you dying when I could've had a nice new life with you in the world of the twenty-first century."
Dean didn't move but buried his head into Alex's leg. "Never had anyone care this much. Well, except for Sam maybe." He laughed a little harshly and didn’t move even when the cars pulled into a gas station.
John climbed out and walked over. "Why are we stopping?" He asked, looking in to see just flushed and ill looking Dean was. "Jesus!" He opened the door and reached for his son. "Dean?"
"I'm okay, Dad." Dean answered.
"No you aren't, you're burning up." He pulled away, "Get some ice and aspirins," John ordered Alex.
"He knows, Dad," Dean pushed himself up and groaned as his head swam.
Alex didn't waste time in argument. He raced for the store attached to the gas station and returned a short time later bearing aspirin, ice, a cold pack and a couple of bottles of water. Getting back into the car, he shook out a couple of the pills and handed them to Dean with a bottle of the water. "I'd have got you coffee, but I figured that this would do you more good, babe," he murmured.
He studied John, who certainly seemed to be concerned about his son. There's definitely love there, he thought as he watched John's obvious distress. He cares about Dean, even though it isn't the Dean he knows. Making up his mind to pass on his observations to Dean once they were under way, he viewed John more kindly. "He'll be okay. I think we were right, it's being in the wrong time that's making him sick. It's some sort of temporal shock."
John had been checking Dean over, touching his hand to him, wiping his brow. Dean was indeed burning up, and it worried him. He couldn't let his son die, not in this time. There was no telling what it would do to his own Dean. For all he knew, his son could be sick right now. He should call Jim and see if the boys were okay, although he didn't want to worry them needlessly. Holding off, John stood as Alex returned.
Dean took the pills from Alex. "You hear of anything like this before?" His eyes shifted to his father.
"No," John shook his head. "I’ve heard of old spirits, but nothing like this." He pointed to the bottles, "You drink those up, keep that ice pack on you. We’d better hurry. How much further, Dean?"
Dean shook his head. "About another hour?" He looked an inquiry at Alex then nodded confirmation. "Yeah, I think about another hour."
"Let's get going then." John closed the door and went back to the Impala.
Dean watched his father as far as he could before the mirror lost sight of him, then sighed softly before dropping his head back down upon Alex's leg.
For a long moment, Alex sat and gazed down at him, wishing there was more that he could do. His heart ached for the beautiful boy whose head was resting in his lap. Alex could feel the heat from him through his jeans, and the place where Dean was resting felt like a furnace.
He bent double so that he could kiss Dean's ear and then stroked the sweaty hair, brushing it back from his forehead. "God, baby, you're so sick. Come on, let's try and get you home."
He started the car going and pulled back onto the road, watching as John put the Impala into gear and fell in behind him. "I'm scared for you, Dean. This isn't getting any better, is it?"
Dean closed his eyes, one hand running over Alex's leg. "I'll be okay once the aspirins kick in. Really," he looked up at Alex. "Is Dad behind us?" He knew he really should crawl into the back seat, but Alex’s proximity made him feel somehow comforted. "Hey at least I'm not throwing up," he grinned.
"Yeah, he's right on my tail," nodded Alex, glancing in the rear-view mirror. "You're safe from my wiles, I promise. Papa's on the job." He shook his head and grinned. "And if you throw up in my lap, my sweet, I'll do something unpleasantly deviant to your ass." He chuckled out loud at Dean's little snort. "It'll probably involve my strong right hand and involve making it glow red."
"You threatening to spank me? Haven't had that since I was five. I have to tell you though, it's not much of a deterrent." He chuckled. "Hey, Alex, you don't think your FBI guy and his redhead will be looking for me do you? I mean, not that they would worry about me, but the last thing Dad and I need is the FBI on our tails."
"Depends on whether he realizes about your driver's license, babe." Alex mused, knowing that Mulder, once he got the bit between his teeth, was an unstoppable force. "He's seen it, so he's got it filed in his brain, and his eidetic memory tells me that he could someday pull it out of his memory and start to obsess, but I can't imagine why he would think of it." He fell silent, trying to find a comment that would soothe Dean. "Don't worry. If he comes looking, he won't find anything. You'll soon be back in... in whatever year you fell out of. Think, love, do you remember the Feds looking for you when you were sixteen or so?"
Dean shook his head, "No, because it was the first time I ever went on a hunt with my dad. Sam was in the back seat, and I nailed that thing. We drug it into the woods and burned it. That was when I knew I was meant to do this. I never looked back. You have to be a little twisted to hunt, you know." Dean smiled up at Alex. "But I don't think he will look for me. He didn't seem that interested. He didn't seem all that concerned I couldn't remember anything or my driver's license. And I don't think he will be able to find us anyway."
"Let's hope you're right." Alex nodded, pushing his foot down and accelerating along the highway. "Mulder's a law unto himself, but I don't see that he could do anything to you, even if he did track your family down. You're a minor, and even if you go killing ghosts and stuff, there actually isn't a law against it." He smiled down at Dean. "There's nothing in the constitution that protects poltergeists."
"Yeah but there is a law against credit card fraud, impersonating officers and the like, which is what we do. He can get our Dad on that, and where would that leave me and Sam in this time line? I mean, who is to say this is even the same time line as where I'm from. I don't remember any of this happening, and Dad sure as hell didn't talk about it if it did. There were a lot of things Dad didn't talk about, didn't tell us, especially about Sammy."
Dean pushed up from Alex's leg, sitting up only to slump in the seat. "God, Alex, I love the man, I really do but... but what I learned about him. What he told me before he died. I want to yell at him. I want to beat him 'til he can't get up for what he did to us. It's... It's been getting harder and harder to get out of bed every morning carrying the secret he gave me. I feel like we've been cheated. We lost our father to his crusade against the demon, and it didn't matter what we wanted or needed. All my life, all I ever wanted was his love. To be a kid and grow up to be what I wanted. I wasn't allowed to. It was like... like I was forced into this without even knowing. Now, I know I thought that I was meant for this but after his death... I don't know any more. I don't want to do it any more. All I want to do is take my brother and hide away, keep him from this evil. Protect him. But we'll never be able to run or hide from it. That's what really sucks. I never asked for this life, but now, thanks to Dad, it's a part of me. Part of my brother. And... and I hate him for it." He looked over to Alex. "I love him, but I hate him too. How fucked up is that?"
"Not half as fucked up as you might think, baby." Alex looked into his rear-view mirror again, checking that the Impala was still following and nodding when he saw that it was. "Your dad certainly seems to be an extreme case, doesn't he? He's so fierce about you - don't think I didn't realize he was trying to protect you from me last night. I think he's kind of possessive of you, and I can tell that he loves you, but he does tend to treat you more like a soldier in his private army than a well-loved kid."
Alex found himself playing with Dean's hair as he spoke, fingers stroking and caressing him as they continued their journey. "What did he tell you about your brother that's upset you so much?" he asked. "Wanna tell me?"
Dean played with Alex's jeans, not answering at first. "I can't," he whispered in looking up to Alex. "If and when I return..." He swallowed hard. "Dad has never been possessive of me. Sammy, but not me. He only loves me, so I can be there to take care of Sam. The Demon told me as much."
"The Demon was trying to hurt you, idiot boy," said Alex, wanting to give Dean what comfort he could. "You believe a demon? You're nuts. Even I can tell that your dad loves you - maybe he loves you in kind of the wrong way as well, because he sure wanted to get inside your pants, baby. He was pretty damned up front about that!"
He fell silent, wondering if Dean could relate to his words at all. "Take it from me, the guy is completely besotted by you, and I am too. Boy, you got people fighting over you."
"The demon was trying to kill me, not hurt me. And I would have died if it wasn't for Dad. I should be dead. I was dead," Dean whispered. "And our family has been fucked up for a very long time." Dean twisted himself so he could lie against the door, watching Alex, resting his head against the glass. "It was about possession, not love."
"I disagree. He was trying to hurt you in whatever way he could. He could've killed you much more easily than that, but it wouldn't have left you hurting. That's what he wanted - to cause all of you the maximum pain, and sure, you could've died, but only slowly, hating your dad and your brother for making you the odd one out. Am I getting warm? Am I getting close?" Alex gave Dean a tender smile. "You have to figure that a demon would say the one most damaging thing that would hurt you most." He smiled at Dean. "And they lie. Isn't the devil the father of lies?"
Dean nodded, "They do lie. They do. But there is always some truth behind their lies." Dean looked up to Alex. "We there yet?"
"What are you, six?" asked Alex, laughing. "We're about twenty miles out of Dallas. At this rate we'll be there in about a half hour, supposing you're able to pinpoint the place for us." He kissed the tip of his finger and transferred the kiss to Dean's cheek. "Although I don't really want to let you go home."
"There is no sure thing - no real reason to think that it will happen," Dean answered. "It could have been the jump point being as I ended up in the north. Dad could be right that we'll need to find those vortex energy fields out in Arizona."
They drove on. Dean dozed for a while, and awoke when Alex shook his shoulder gently.
Straightening himself up at last, Dean held his head feeling sick and more than a little dizzy. "Turn into this neighborhood. It was toward the back of the estate. There was a playground that they’d built over it. I remember, because Sam and I had to dig." Dean settled back in the seat, casting a glance back towards the Impala in the review mirror. He really needed to talk to his Dad. He needed to tell him not to do what he’d done. He had to do it for Sammy.
Alex followed Dean's instructions, pulling his car over to the right to enter the subdivision that Dean had indicated. He felt some weird heaviness hanging over him, as though he were racing headlong towards impending doom, but he couldn't say what or why. He drove along the road Dean had identified, until he came to a vacant lot that was fenced off. Parking, he turned to look at Dean, taking in the flushed cheeks and the heavy-eyed look. "Jesus, boy, you need to be in bed, and not for that reason, either," he murmured. "Can we wait and do this tomorrow, after you've rested? There's no playground here. I guess they built it after this time."
Dean pushed open the car door, looking over the area. He half expected Sam to come walking out of the air and smile at him, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. "It's right here, I know it." He started walking in the direction of the place he remembered.
"Dean?" John came up quickly to him and grabbed his son's arm.
"It's right here," Dean insisted. "I know it."
"Jesus, boy, you’re burning up," John whispered. "You need to lie down."
"No," Dean pushed him away and walked on. "It's right here. There was a hole right here," He wandered around, looking like a lost little boy.
Alex looked at John and shrugged, spreading his hands in a helpless gesture. "Your guess is as good as mine," he murmured. "He's really sick. I think he's disoriented from the fever, but he's the only one who knows where he was, so we'd better help him."
He followed Dean without waiting for John, catching up with him and slipping an arm around his shoulders. "You said that you and Sam had to dig, so maybe we'll need to do that too. Don't forget that, in my time, you haven't actually been here yet."
Dean looked about then up at Alex as his father joined them. "Well, there is no neighborhood here, but I guess I should go get the shovels." John’s voice was strained as he turned back to the car to go fetch them. He glanced back at Dean for a moment, his expression unreadable, before turning back.
Dean pulled off his jacket. The cooler air felt better upon his heated skin. "Let’s get this started."
Flushed skin and freckles, and really nice biceps distracted Alex, made him drool and caused him to step in closer, slide his arm around Dean's shoulders and kiss his neck. "Just show me where you want me to dig, gorgeous one, and I'll do what I do best!" Alex gave him a lopsided grin and took a shovel from John, who was frowning at him in a manner that made Alex chuckle and kiss Dean.
Dean kissed Alex in return, then moved away and went to scout out the exact spot. He finally looked up and then around before he turned call to the two men, "I think this is the spot." Grabbing a shovel, he was starting to dig when he felt his father's hand on his shoulder.
"Dean, you need to rest."
Dean shook his head and shook off his father's hand. "No, you told me I had to watch after Sammy, and that is what I have to do. He's all I..." Dean stopped, staring at his father with panic in his eyes.
"Let him do some of it, love," called Alex, looking at John meaningfully and then moving to start digging where Dean had indicated. John soon moved over to take the shovel from his son and began to dig, cursing softly under his breath. Alex sighed, looking at the two men. He ached for Dean - wanted desperately for his lover to be happy. He knew that he'd have to let him go if he returned to his own time, but he was unsure what to do about John and wondered if telling John what was going to happen would make a difference to the way their lives might unfold. Finally, up to his knees in the hole they were excavating, he laid down his shovel and went to Dean.
"Tell him, baby. Tell him exactly what's going to happen, and we'll see if that stops it."
Dean had been pacing, holding his head and mumbling to himself. He felt sick to his stomach. His head was hurting, and he knew that it was not because of the fever, either. He looked up when Alex approached him, closely resembling a lost puppy. Dean could never truly pull that look off like Sam could but his pain was evident.
He looked down, "What if it doesn't matter? What if..." Dean raised his head to look at Alex, "He's like me? Tired. The weight upon him... And Sammy..." Dean lowered his head again. He turned up to the sky again, avoiding Alex’s gaze as if it might burn him. "I guess I have to try, huh?" Dean knew that if he went back he’d already had problems handling things. He suspected that it would only get worse. He just couldn't do it.
He stepped closer to Alex, "Thank you," he whispered, leaning in and giving him a kiss. "I won't forget this. I won't forget you." He cleared his throat, making it obvious he wasn’t comfortable admitting things like that, and then he stepped around Alex, heading over to his father. "Dad, we need to talk."