fic, DSRK2 bits and bobs cont'd
More DSRK2 ficbit lulz, more Narumi/Raidou (and vice versa) + demons. Still not a series. In a better world these would've been 4koma manga, but.
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Encounter
She was a type Raidou had never seen before. When he attempted to negotiate, she tittered.
"Oh, I'll be your demon, all right. But I have some questions for you first. ♥"
From out of nowhere she produced a tablet covered in violent pink hearts. She flipped the tablet open.
"Tell me, what do you think of this picture I drew of you and your yummy boss? Be honest, now. ♥"
Raidou examined the drawing and turned bright red.
"Or how about this one, of you and Hitoshura-chan? ♥"
She turned the page. Raidou gaped.
"Or this one, with you and Tam Lin and Yoshitsune and Oukuninushi and-- ♥"
Raidou backed away, fumbling for a Smoke Ball. Gouto sprang urgently to his side.
"Raidou, we've got to get out of here! I just recognized this demon dame. She's--"
"Porn-order Fujoshi!" squealed the demon. She leered and flung him a business card, which was covered with shocking doodles. "Too late. You're mine now! Let's have lotttttts of fun together, okay? I haven't showed you my pictures of you and Raido and Mara yet. ♥"
Raidou covered his eyes.
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Art Imitates Life
"Raiho, you're so fox-hee! Why won't you make whoop-hee with me, ho?"
"But whoop-hee is naught-hee, ho. I am dev-ho-ted to my duty as a summoner, hee!"
"Natural-hee you are, but all work and no play makes Jack a dull Frost, ho. Don't let your life be empt-hee of love! Let me be the one to hee-ho you!"
"Naruhee..."
"Raiho...!"
They embraced. The audience of enemy demons--all female--whistled and clapped what limbs they had. The performers turned to Raidou in triumph.
"How do you like our new play, hee?"
"We call it 'Hee-tective Ho-mance'!"
They beamed. The enemy demons shouted for an encore. The performers hopped and bowed with glee.
Raidou sent them both to their tubes.
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It Came From the Sewers
"And who's this fancypants?" asked the Large Tarrasque. "Your beau? You want me to give him a lift, too, is that it?"
Raidou explained the circumstances of his date with Narumi. The Tarrasque's eyes twinkled.
"Sure thing, sonny. Any feller of yours is a passenger of mine. All aboard?"
The Tarrasque loomed closer to the banks of the canal. Narumi was staring at it with what looked like deep discomfort. He had turned almost as pale as the color of his suit.
It wasn't like him to flinch at demons. Raidou was puzzled--until he noticed the slime of sludge and algae that glazed the Tarrasque's scales, dripping in viscous glops from its neck. He suddenly remembered where the Tarrasque spent much of its time, and what the particular odor in the air was.
Narumi retreated a dainty step.
"No offense," he said, "but let's catch the tram, eh?"
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Objects at Rest
Narumi heaved a lazy sigh. His face was half-smashed into the pillow, but he seemed entirely content. When he spoke, his voice was muffled.
"Not bad for a greenhorn."
Raidou stared down at his naked back. Naked buttocks. Naked everything. A minute ago he'd been moving just fine--they both had--but now he found himself paralyzed. I just did that to Narumi-san I just did that to Narumi-san, what is happening, up is down, right is left, the world is spinning backwards--
"Quit hovering, will you? C'mere."
Narumi patted the sheets beside him. He showed not the slightest inclination to roll over. Still frozen, Raidou asked faintly whether he was all right.
"Oh, better than all right." Narumi turned his head (if nothing else) to look back at Raidou with one droopy-lidded eye. "See what you've done? You've worked out a whole new way to make me never want to move."
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Edit: why do I fail at html tags whyyyyy
----------------
Encounter
She was a type Raidou had never seen before. When he attempted to negotiate, she tittered.
"Oh, I'll be your demon, all right. But I have some questions for you first. ♥"
From out of nowhere she produced a tablet covered in violent pink hearts. She flipped the tablet open.
"Tell me, what do you think of this picture I drew of you and your yummy boss? Be honest, now. ♥"
Raidou examined the drawing and turned bright red.
"Or how about this one, of you and Hitoshura-chan? ♥"
She turned the page. Raidou gaped.
"Or this one, with you and Tam Lin and Yoshitsune and Oukuninushi and-- ♥"
Raidou backed away, fumbling for a Smoke Ball. Gouto sprang urgently to his side.
"Raidou, we've got to get out of here! I just recognized this demon dame. She's--"
"Porn-order Fujoshi!" squealed the demon. She leered and flung him a business card, which was covered with shocking doodles. "Too late. You're mine now! Let's have lotttttts of fun together, okay? I haven't showed you my pictures of you and Raido and Mara yet. ♥"
Raidou covered his eyes.
----------------
----------------
Art Imitates Life
"Raiho, you're so fox-hee! Why won't you make whoop-hee with me, ho?"
"But whoop-hee is naught-hee, ho. I am dev-ho-ted to my duty as a summoner, hee!"
"Natural-hee you are, but all work and no play makes Jack a dull Frost, ho. Don't let your life be empt-hee of love! Let me be the one to hee-ho you!"
"Naruhee..."
"Raiho...!"
They embraced. The audience of enemy demons--all female--whistled and clapped what limbs they had. The performers turned to Raidou in triumph.
"How do you like our new play, hee?"
"We call it 'Hee-tective Ho-mance'!"
They beamed. The enemy demons shouted for an encore. The performers hopped and bowed with glee.
Raidou sent them both to their tubes.
----------------
----------------
It Came From the Sewers
"And who's this fancypants?" asked the Large Tarrasque. "Your beau? You want me to give him a lift, too, is that it?"
Raidou explained the circumstances of his date with Narumi. The Tarrasque's eyes twinkled.
"Sure thing, sonny. Any feller of yours is a passenger of mine. All aboard?"
The Tarrasque loomed closer to the banks of the canal. Narumi was staring at it with what looked like deep discomfort. He had turned almost as pale as the color of his suit.
It wasn't like him to flinch at demons. Raidou was puzzled--until he noticed the slime of sludge and algae that glazed the Tarrasque's scales, dripping in viscous glops from its neck. He suddenly remembered where the Tarrasque spent much of its time, and what the particular odor in the air was.
Narumi retreated a dainty step.
"No offense," he said, "but let's catch the tram, eh?"
----------------
----------------
Objects at Rest
Narumi heaved a lazy sigh. His face was half-smashed into the pillow, but he seemed entirely content. When he spoke, his voice was muffled.
"Not bad for a greenhorn."
Raidou stared down at his naked back. Naked buttocks. Naked everything. A minute ago he'd been moving just fine--they both had--but now he found himself paralyzed. I just did that to Narumi-san I just did that to Narumi-san, what is happening, up is down, right is left, the world is spinning backwards--
"Quit hovering, will you? C'mere."
Narumi patted the sheets beside him. He showed not the slightest inclination to roll over. Still frozen, Raidou asked faintly whether he was all right.
"Oh, better than all right." Narumi turned his head (if nothing else) to look back at Raidou with one droopy-lidded eye. "See what you've done? You've worked out a whole new way to make me never want to move."
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Edit: why do I fail at html tags whyyyyy