[theatrical_muse] Topic # 184
When I became a doctor I told myself I would never end up like my father. In the end, off the island, that’s all I’ve become. I’m exactly like him these days. It’s a wonder I can even write this. The haze has lifted and I’m forced to look at myself in the mirror and see the look in her eyes reflected back at me from my own. The disappointment at who I’ve become floods me and all I can feel is the pain, the deep seeded pain etched deeply into my soul.
And that is why I continue to self medicate. It’s why my father’s prescription pads come in handy and why I allow myself to become this person I grew to hate, because otherwise I am looking at myself and recognizing him.
It’s easier to find myself in the haze. It’s easier not to think about that place and to try to forget her and the others. To drive to a funeral that no one else saw fit to go to and barely remember who is in the coffin myself. To stand on a bridge and look over and almost jump because everything is so fucked up that breathing is hard and practicing medicine - the one thing that used to matter - is being taken away by my own stupidity.
Dull the pain. I sought out to change the world and now look at me.
Muse: Jack Shephard
Fandom: Lost
Word Count: 236
And that is why I continue to self medicate. It’s why my father’s prescription pads come in handy and why I allow myself to become this person I grew to hate, because otherwise I am looking at myself and recognizing him.
It’s easier to find myself in the haze. It’s easier not to think about that place and to try to forget her and the others. To drive to a funeral that no one else saw fit to go to and barely remember who is in the coffin myself. To stand on a bridge and look over and almost jump because everything is so fucked up that breathing is hard and practicing medicine - the one thing that used to matter - is being taken away by my own stupidity.
Dull the pain. I sought out to change the world and now look at me.
Muse: Jack Shephard
Fandom: Lost
Word Count: 236