wax wings: four
November 2012
Barakat residence
Jack wakes with no memory of how he got home the night before. There is a warm body in bed with him that feels too familiar to be a stranger, so he is afraid to open his eyes. Strong arms are wrapped around his waist; the guy’s head is resting comfortably in the crook of his neck. He does not want to move - it’s warm in bed - but he’s certain it will be fairly awkward once they are both awake. Jack isn’t much in favour of one night stands, so he must have been pretty drunk to have brought someone home with him. The only hole in this theory is that they are both still fully clothed. He really doesn’t want to consider the other possibility. Cold fingers stroke his exposed hip gently - altogether too gently for his hung-over mind to comprehend - and his body instinctively tenses. He bats weakly at the offending hand, not wanting to move from his current position. “Nnnngh,” he whines. He sort of wants to roll over and snuggle into the warm chest that is presently pressed up against his back, but his head is pounding and he doesn’t really want to move in case that makes it worse.
The way this guy is holding him reminds him so much of... “Jack,” the guy murmurs. “Wake up.” And there’s no mistaking the voice, even thick with sleep. So he untangles his legs from the sheets and rolls over, snuggling into Alex’s chest. He’s not sure what happened last night, and he’s not sure he wants to. Alex tucks the blankets around his shoulders, kisses his forehead lightly. It’s all so unbearably sweet he doesn’t want to believe it’s real. The Alex he knew would never be so considerate - actually, the Alex he knew would probably have taken advantage of him in his drunken state and then left - and he doesn’t understand it. Who is this stranger? Alex’s lips graze his cheek. “Don’t go back to sleep,” Alex whispers.
Jack croaks, “What happened last night?”
“Nothing happened,” Alex sighs. There’s a hint of sadness in his voice. “You were really hammered by the time I showed up. I drove you and your car home, and then you didn’t want me to leave so I stayed.” His fingers trace the shape of Jack’s jaw tenderly; Jack can do nothing but lie there and stare at him through the haze of his hangover, wondering if this is a dream. Until last night, he hadn’t seen Alex for two weeks. The blonde in his hair has faded to the colour of straw, which would look terrible on most people, but works for him. Jack can’t help noticing how tired he looks - his skin is ashy and pale, his cheeks drawn. He wants to say something, but can’t think of the words to convey his meaning. “This is the first time I’ve slept on a proper bed in weeks,” Alex confesses. “Jasey’s been making me sleep on the couch until I find my own place.”
Jack can’t help himself; he reaches up and brushes the older man’s hair out of his eyes. “Thank you for taking care of me last night. It... It means a lot, you know. This is the worst hangover I’ve had since...”
“... Ben Worsley’s Halloween party in tenth grade?” Alex finishes. “I took care of you that time, too, remember?” And Jack does recall waking up on an air mattress in the Worsley family’s laundry room the following morning with Alex’s arms wrapped around him protectively. That had been a good Halloween. Neither of them had worn costumes that year, for some reason. What he remembers most about that morning is the way Alex kissed him - soft and sweet and tender - and how afraid he had been that someone might walk in on them. This was before Jack had come out to his parents, and it had been a very real fear for him. They had been so in love, then. It’s probably too late to get that feeling back. Alex’s lips are slightly chapped; it is so tempting to just lean in and kiss him.
Their eyes lock, and Jack is sure that Alex has noticed the faint blush creeping across his cheeks. His suspicion is confirmed when, a minute later, Alex reaches up to cup his cheek. Boldly, Jack leans in and presses his lips to the other man’s, feeling a spark between them as Alex kisses back, tangling long fingers in his hair. It’s only slightly less passionate than the day they kissed in the clinic, but Jack can still feel the heat building between them. Alex’s tongue slips between his parted lips effortlessly, sending a flood of tingles through Jack’s body. Without thinking, he wraps his legs around Alex’s waist, effectively bringing their bodies closer together. Their hands roam each other’s bodies shamelessly, touching and stroking and removing unneeded articles of clothing until they are both shirtless. Jack’s hand is at the waistband of Alex’s boxers when he pulls away, flushed and sweaty and apologetic. Jack lets out a frustrated groan, rolling onto his back so he can adjust himself in last night’s jeans. He whines, “Hmmmf,” before Alex leans over to press their lips together softly.
“I’m sorry,” Alex mumbles. “I have to be home in half an hour to meet Jasey’s attorney.” He pulls his shirt on, not bothering to tame his extremely dishevelled hair. Jack almost doesn’t want to let him go... Once again, his lips are all red and pouty. Alex’s mouth is on his, and he tries desperately to pull the older man to him. He doesn’t want Alex to go back to Jasey - not now, not ever.
“Don’t go,” he breathes. A horrible fear that Alex may never come back has grabbed him. He can’t go through this again - it is too similar to what happened the last time - and he knows he won’t be able to handle it if the same thing happens twice. Alex showers him in affection for another ten minutes or so before pulling away again. “No,” Jack whines. “Please don’t go.”
Alex presses chapped lips to his forehead. “Jack,” he whispers, “I really have to go now, or I’ll be late.”
“I want to see you again,” Jack blurts out. “Lex, please... I can’t do this; I can’t stay away from you.” Thanks to a small miracle, neither of his siblings are home right now; he’d booked off yesterday and today because of Rian and Zack’s engagement party. He feels slightly uneasy about the prospect of putting May and Alex in a room together. May has wanted to claw Alex’s face off for the past eight years or so. If she knew how Jack was feeling about him at the moment... Alex leans over to kiss him one last time.
“Are you doing anything tonight?” Alex asks. Jack shakes his head. “Then let’s go somewhere, just you and me, and... we’ll talk. You should go back to sleep for a bit, and you have my cell number so you can call me when you get up.”
Jack stares at him shyly for a moment before asking, “I... Is this a date?”
“If that’s what you want it to be... Now go back to sleep,” Alex murmurs. “I’ll talk to you soon. Sweet dreams, Jack.” He glances over his shoulder before exiting the room, closing the door behind him. Jack waits until he’s heard the front door slam to curl up and go back to sleep. The bed doesn’t feel quite the same without someone else in it now... He falls asleep wondering what would have happened if Alex had stayed, though he’s pretty sure he knows the answer to that. They’ve never been good at staying away from each other; maybe Zack has a point. Alex has changed so much from the boy he knew in high school. He’s so much more responsible and down-to-earth now... Maybe their relationship would have half a chance of working out. On the other hand, though, he’s not sure he’s ready to be with someone that has a child.
When he wakes again, it’s to May shaking him and scolding him for sleeping until four o’clock. He hadn’t intended to sleep so late, but apparently he had needed it. “May, get off’a me,” he grumbles.
She’s sitting atop his legs, grinning sadistically. “Who drove you home last night?” she asks.
Jack panics for a moment. He’s not sure if it’s better to lie or tell the truth... “Just some guy,” he says. “I don’t really know him that well. We, uh, we’re seeing each other again tonight.” It’s not a total lie - maybe a half-truth at best - but it does the trick.
May leaps to her feet, squealing and bouncing up and down. “Oh my God, this is so exciting! Let me pick your outfit... Who is he, where is he taking you? Details, Jack! I need details!” She begins rummaging through his wardrobe, looking at each item and examining it before flinging it over her shoulder onto the floor. “No, not this one... Your ass looks fat in that... Purple is not your colour...”
He sighs, brushing past her to step out into the hallway so he can call Alex. It’s stupid, considering their history, but his heart is pounding in his chest as he listens to the tone sounding again and again until Alex picks up. “Hey, Jack,” Alex says when he answers. Jack can hear the smile in his voice. “You’re finally awake, huh?”
“Yeah,” Jack says sheepishly. “So if you still want to do something later, I could pick you up in an hour...?” He leans against the wall, trying to act casual. Joe gives him a strange look as he passes by, but says nothing.
Alex sighs. “Yeah, yeah, that’s fine. I already sort of had something in mind, unless you...?”
“No, it’s cool. I’ll see you in an hour,” he says quickly. “My sister’s being all... you know... so I should let her do her thing before she gets all pissy. Text me the directions to your place and I’ll... I’ll see you.” His hands are shaking with nervousness as they say their goodbyes and hang up. Why should he be so nervous? It’s only Alex. They’ve hung out a thousand times before - but that was then. He doesn’t know what to expect now, and it’s thrilling and terrifying all at the same time. An hour later, he’s been styled, gelled and moussed to near-perfection. He feels like an idiot in the outfit his sister has chosen, but she insisted he wear it to impress his ‘hot’ date. Jack keeps wondering how she would react if she knew that his date was with Alex; in order to keep the peace in the apartment just a little while longer, he says nothing.
Alex is waiting for him when he pulls into the driveway - probably to avoid an awkward confrontation between him and Jasey. He can’t imagine that Alex’s soon-to-be-ex wife is very happy about this development. So he feels a certain amount of satisfaction once he realizes that she’s watching from the window as Alex gets into his car - even more so when Alex leans over to kiss him softly and touch his cheek. “Hey, beautiful,” Alex says. Jack wants to pull him in for another kiss, but instead exercises some restraint because he knows that his siblings have both very purposefully vacated their shared apartment for the evening. He’s so curious about what Alex has planned. They share a smile as Jack backs out of the driveway carefully; Alex reaches for his hand and links their fingers loosely, directing Jack to a spot he remembers well. He can’t believe Alex remembered this.