wax wings: six
December 2012
Barakat residence
Two things become quite evident to Jack upon waking that fateful Friday: First, Alex is still in bed with him, which is never a bad thing. Second, more importantly, it’s May’s day off. This is going to be a very ugly confrontation indeed. Alex is still sound asleep, clinging to his waist. Jack leans up and kisses him lightly, nudges his shoulder. The sleeping man whines, stirring only slightly before his grip on Jack tightens. He is really not a morning person.
“Alex, love,” Jack murmurs, “’s time to get up.” He presses his lips to Alex’s once more, and this time the older man wakes up, blinking his dark eyes sleepily. It’s only the third time that Alex has stayed over - they still haven’t had sex - and Jack likes waking up next to him. They kiss softly for a while, hold hands and cuddle and talk nonsense until they’re both fully awake. Despite Jack owning a queen-size bed, they usually end up curled up in the centre of the mattress together anyway. Alex has been open - both about his past and his feelings for Jack - and it’s nice. As the holidays approach, they’ve been talking about what they will do, but it’s been decided that they both need to be with their families. Maybe next year, though.
Alex kisses Jack’s forehead lightly. “What’re you thinking about?” he asks.
“You have to be at work in half an hour,” Jack sighs. He really hates that part - that they both have jobs and responsibilities and so many things to keep them apart - and he’s starting to really hate all this sneaking around. They have to avoid Jasey, they have to avoid his sister; sometimes it feels like the only people in the world who support their relationship are Rian and Zack. And even they have been distracted, lately, sorting out all the details of their engagement. It’s still illegal for them to marry in the state of Maryland. Jack lays his head on Alex’s bare shoulder, pressing his fingers flat against his boyfriend’s chest.
“Something’s bothering you,” Alex says. “You’ve been acting like this for a few days. What’s the matter, babe? Is it the holiday thing again? ‘Cause I told you, I can skip my aunt’s thing if you want to see me Boxing Day...” He lets out a jaw-cracking yawn.
Jack shakes his head sadly. “No, it’s not that. I’m just... I’m sick of us having to tiptoe around, you know? I want to spend the holidays with you. And I want everyone I know to know that we’re spending them together, and them to be okay with that and to not yell at me for being with you.”
“Oh.” Alex’s voice comes out tiny and sad. “Well, baby... It sucks. I want that, too, but until the divorce... I mean, I still haven’t found a place I can afford. The courts are never going to allow me visitation until I do that, and... I mean... I have a feeling they’re not going to take too kindly to it if it also gets out that I’m shacking up with my boyfriend before the divorce is even final.”
“You need to get ready for work.” Jack sits cross-legged on the bed and watches Alex get dressed. Things aren’t going to get any easier for them unless something changes, but he isn’t quite sure what needs to change. He loves this man - and he’s pretty certain that that isn’t going to change - and he knows that Alex loves him back. So maybe, then, the easiest solution would be to change the things that are within his means. He’s been thinking about it for the past couple of days. He hasn’t told anyone, yet, because there are a few details he still needs to smooth out if he intends to carry out this plan. In a way, it could almost be considered his Christmas present to Alex. “Hmmm, come here,” he says, once Alex is fully dressed. “I want a kiss before you go.”
“I’ll call you later,” Alex promises between kisses. “We should make plans for this weekend.”
Jack nods, wraps his arms around Alex’s neck and buries himself in the familiar embrace a moment before letting go. The next segment of his day is going to suck, big-time. “Get going or you’ll be late!” he scolds Alex, although the blame is entirely his own. “I love you, ‘kay?”
“I love you too. Have a good day, sweetie.”
He lets go of Alex unhappily, lies back down and waits. The front door shuts with a click, followed shortly thereafter by the signature May Barakat screech. Jack braces himself for disaster. His bedroom door flies open. He sits up. He says, “I know what you’re going to say, May, so don’t start. I love him. He makes me happy. He’s different now.”
“He is never setting foot in this apartment again,” she growls. May is the only person who could possibly look menacing while wearing fluffy, pink slippers shaped like bunnies. Her hair is tangled, uncombed, and there’s a dollop of pancake batter on her top. She’s brandishing a spatula. “I don’t care if he’s promised to marry you, Jack, he is not setting foot in this fucking apartment again. Not after what he did to you. I don’t care what he’s promised you. He broke your heart, and I spent eight fucking years trying to protect you from his fucking mistakes. And all it takes from him is an apology, and a few kind words, and you’re already taking him back? I can’t believe this.”
“I know this is hard for you to believe, but he was trying to protect me.”
May shouts, “He’s married! Do you understand that you are fooling around with a married man?”
Jack sighs, folds his hands. He is not going to shout at her. This is not an argument he is going to have. May is going to have to accept the fact that he loves Alex, regardless of what happened in the past. “May. He’s leaving her. He is sleeping on the fucking couch because of me, he is leaving his wife because he can’t live a lie any longer. So forgive me, will you, if I have maybe a little bit of respect for him trying to do the right thing. He’s doing the best he can. And I appreciate that you were trying to protect me all this time, but seriously? The right thing to do was not to make me feel like Alex never loved me. That fucking hurt, May.” Tears are streaming down his face. This is hard.
She sits down on the edge of the bed hesitantly. “How can you do this? How can you just take him back? He hurt you. He left you for her, and he married her, and you’re just taking him back like nothing happened.”
He says, “He was trying to protect me. He was trying to do the right thing.”
“I don’t want him staying here, Jack. If you want to be with him, I can’t do anything to stop you, but he can’t be here.” She’s gripping the spatula a little less tightly. Jack hugs his sister; they are both crying and shaking and hugging. Nothing is okay right now, but neither of them is angry anymore, so it’s good.
Jack says, “I’m moving out.”
May says, “I know.” She hugs him for a very long time and kisses the top of his head. “I wish you didn’t have to. I’m sorry. You won’t move too far, right?”
He shrugs. He hasn’t looked at any apartments more than half an hour from home. “I don’t know yet. I’m looking at a place later today that I really like. Will you come with me?” May nods, and they carry out their morning activities quietly, not saying much between them. Joe is at work - he likes his days off at the beginning of the week - so Jack will have to break the news to him later. He’s pretty sure that Joe already knows. They’re silent in the car, too, and May clutches his hand tightly while the realtor walks them through the apartment.
It’s a beautiful apartment. Two bedrooms, laundry room, and a skylight in the kitchen. Jack can sort of envision living here already - filling the place up with furniture piece by piece - and maybe making a few renovations here and there. When the appointment ends, and the realtor hands him the lease documents to look over, Jack glances at his sister. She smiles and nods, squeezes his hand encouragingly. His heart is pounding in his chest.
“He’s going to love it,” she says quietly. She wraps him in a tight, rib-crushing hug and buries her face in his shoulder to hide her tears. “I just... don’t want to let you go. You’re my baby brother; I’m supposed to protect you and here you are moving out to be with your boyfriend. When did you get so grown-up?”
Jack hugs back equally as hard. “It’ll be okay,” he says. “We’ll still see each other all the time, I promise, and eventually you’ll stop hating him. He makes me so happy, May. I just want everything to be okay. And I can’t keep letting him stay there - with Jasey - because it’s breaking my heart.”
May says, “I’ll tell Joe if you want. You should be with him tonight.”
“Will you be there when I tell Mom and Dad?”
She waits until he’s filled out the last space with his signature. “Jack. What kind of sister would I be if I wasn’t? I’m not going to pretend to be happy about this, but if he makes you happy, then you should be with him. You know I don’t believe in soul mates, but if I did, Alex would probably be yours. You guys can’t seem to stay away from each other. So... That means something. As much as I hate him, I can see how much happier you’ve been since you two got back together. It’s going to be difficult as hell - especially given his bitch of an ex-wife - but... I’m here for you. I love you so, so much.” They stand there, hugging, for a very long time before she asks him a question. “What are you going to do with the second bedroom?”