Oct 08, 2009 03:44
So, hypothetically, if I am in a new alternate dimension with a bunch of super heroes, where's all the flying and doomsday plots? I mean, I admit I wasn't exactly paying attention the whole time Gus took me to see that movie one time except that guy's nipples were really freaky and perky like little apple stems, but I digress--
I'm impressed with the porter. I'll give you that. Hacker lady? Top notch. Wasn't expecting that one, but I don't even get a cape? I can't fly? What's the point of being a super hero if you can't fly?
Not that I believe any of this is real. Obviously, this is all a drug-induced hallucination and or I'm floating through unconsciousness, waiting for Jules to give me the kiss of life (or Lassi...or Gus if things get desperate. Wait, does Gus even know CPR? OK, I'm screwed). But, if this is going to be my hallucination, I have a handy list of demands, dear subconscious.
1. I want a cape. Preferably yellow. No. Scratch that. Blue. Wait. Green. No. Blue. Yes, blue cape.
2. A jet pack, because if I can't fly on my own, there's got to be at least one jet pack around here.
3. My own personal Catwoman. As my hallucination, I demand Michelle Pfeiffer or at the very least, Julie Newmar? Eartha Kitt? Even the very under appreciated Lee Meriwether? C'mon, work with me, fellas.
4. Sidekick to carry my jet pack. Age 25-30. African-American. Normally wears pink button down shirts tucked into his shirt and has a knowledge of pharmaceuticals.
5. Butler. I've got to have a butler.
What else? That done? OK, I think that's it.
† shawn spencer | psych-man