Chapter Eight

[take_theride]

This past weekend I drank about 60% of my body weight in Wild Turkey. I do not regret it. While wondering whether or not I should get my stomach pumped, I came to a realization: I have nothing fucking better to do with my life, here

Comments

[boomboombatshit]

Hey hey.

What if I pose as a cop and we do a huge fucking set up. Broadcast it all over. I'll just admit to how much I suck at my job.

Huuugh. Public humiliation I am creaming corn in my panties already.

[take_theride]

If you say so. The only problem is that I generally look for truth in my interviews.

But hell, it might work. Make an actual officer step forward.

[boomboombatshit]

I'm missing the problems. The cops here suck. Actually, cops in general are pretty useless from what I hear. I wouldn't know. There aren't a whole lot in Australia. Besides, I've been an officer before! I have a real vintage SS uniform in Tank's baby back in the other-dimensional-outbacks or whatever and I have WORN it before. The SS were police. KIND OF.

[take_theride]

Noted.

Although an SS uniform in this town will probably make you the most fucking annoying friends.

AT LAST, THE DAY HAS ARRIVED

[theprimerprime]

You want an interview, you've got it. It's high time the public knew what kind of slag we put up with every day.

[take_theride]

Oh? How exciting.

[theprimerprime]

Don't be sarcastic with me. I don't see you doing anything to help the welfare of the city.

[take_theride]

Well that's not my job, is it?

I'll see you this week. Name the time and the place.

[homomachinis]

There aren't any political campaigns because I'm still fucking working on mine.

[take_theride]

Well, get it together, man!

And when it is together, promise me you won't be half the douchebag as most candidates.

[homomachinis]

I'm an ass, but not as bad as those guys.

[take_theride]

We shall see.

What do you plan on running for?

[take_theride]

It's not hard for me to do my job. I get it fucking done and I get it done on deadline.

And let's not blame your issue on numbers. If there's so fucking little of you then you have to fucking hire more. Common sense, dipshit. You can't possibly let me believe there are only 15-20 police officers combined in this entire city.

I'm calling shenanigans on that one.

[take_theride]

I haven't seen the police force hire anyone or even promote the idea since I arrived here, Sir. Maybe you should try. You might be surprised.

As far as prison security goes. Security is security. Your cells aren't holding anyone in? Make stronger cells. It'll cost some money but wouldn't it be fucking worth it in the end considering you wouldn't have all the repair bills you have now?

And for the record, Mister Duke would be fucking murdered at the hands of some super powered thugs, considering Mister Duke doesn't have any fucking super powers of his own. That's why I write, hero.

[notsoloyal]

You... want to clone yourself?

[take_theride]

I'm checking my options.

[notsoloyal]

Clones are not simple to make, you do realize.

[take_theride]

I'd guess not.