oo2 [ voice/public ]
Seeing as you lot can't help but fritter away your time going mental over some rats-with-wings, let me make this as brief as possible. I'll even start with a joke for a change of pace.
[ He clears his throat. ]
So, City, me miserable City, wot's the difference between a lawyer and a magician?
[ A beat. ]
Anyone? No? Then how telling us the difference between a used-car salesman and a magician?
[ And again ]
Still?
[ Cricket, cricket. ]
Right, then. The difference is that, while the first two let you see how hard they'll be reaming you today, you'll never see the third cop to it. We're all ego and bluster, without any respect for anyone else who hasn't walked the Labyrinth before us. Ergo, we -- and here I mean you lot -- now find yourselves at the tender mercies of the pigeons and other assorted vermin currently calling our fine shitehole of a city home. It's cause and bloody effect.
[ He lights a cigarette, inhales. ]
For those of you still not paying attention, this, my lords and ladies, is what we from across the pond -- you know, where all your history is -- call a sodding magical cock-up. It's what happens when you use magic like a preppy little wanker, like it's some kind of fucking toy to go base over apex for. It's what happens when you've got your head so far up your arse that you forget to obey the first and only law of our practice:
[ Aaaaand pause for effect. ]
Don't be a tacky gobshite with your gift.
[ Afterward, before the camera goes *click* ]
...Typically benign my arse.
[ He clears his throat. ]
So, City, me miserable City, wot's the difference between a lawyer and a magician?
[ A beat. ]
Anyone? No? Then how telling us the difference between a used-car salesman and a magician?
[ And again ]
Still?
[ Cricket, cricket. ]
Right, then. The difference is that, while the first two let you see how hard they'll be reaming you today, you'll never see the third cop to it. We're all ego and bluster, without any respect for anyone else who hasn't walked the Labyrinth before us. Ergo, we -- and here I mean you lot -- now find yourselves at the tender mercies of the pigeons and other assorted vermin currently calling our fine shitehole of a city home. It's cause and bloody effect.
[ He lights a cigarette, inhales. ]
For those of you still not paying attention, this, my lords and ladies, is what we from across the pond -- you know, where all your history is -- call a sodding magical cock-up. It's what happens when you use magic like a preppy little wanker, like it's some kind of fucking toy to go base over apex for. It's what happens when you've got your head so far up your arse that you forget to obey the first and only law of our practice:
[ Aaaaand pause for effect. ]
Don't be a tacky gobshite with your gift.
[ Afterward, before the camera goes *click* ]
...Typically benign my arse.