[Video] Bark at the moon

[purmoncul]

[The laughter starts before the screen cuts on, a wild barking sound oscillating on the edge of joy and histeria. To those who knew Sirius Black, that laugh is unmistakable, if alarmingly unhinged...and then the screen focuses on the face of a complete stranger. The person pictured is gaunt and haggard, a scraggle of black beard over skin yellowed

Comments

[mindyourhealth]

[The poor man. He sounds as though he's gone completely off his rocker. Very well! She will attempt to approach this the same way she does most things, and work from there.]

You could do with a bath, young man. Does your home have the modern plumbing in it?

oh my gosh can this please be VIDEO; some time later

[purmoncul]

Yes. Though you can bathe without modern plumbing, you know. Pipes are helpful, but not the be-all and end-all of ablution.

[Off his rocker, very dirty, and not looking at the screen at the moment.]

it can be -- tho she isn't BLATANTLY a squirrel. got similar features, but is human (for now)

[mindyourhealth]

The river here is not clean. I would not bathe in it.

oh okay MAN HE WOULD HAVE JUST... TOTALLY FACEPLANTED.

[purmoncul]

And there's a solution for that problem, too, oh strange woman with an unusually high interest in the bowels of my home.

[Prison based PTSD aside, Sirius has rarely responded well to women mothering him. Her utterly direct approach to it is new, however, and he seems completely nonplussed by her.]

well depending on what mods say she might be in the future? so there is that

[mindyourhealth]

[Well, that's better than she probably could have gotten. Not that she knows. It's just how she is.]

I am afraid I would not know it.

Something to look forward to: realizing you've been henpecked by something you'd chase around a yard

[purmoncul]

[Apparently they only speak in direct-approach-ese, where this person is from. Sirius makes a game attempt at it.]

And you are?

[mindyourhealth]

[Naturally. What better way to speak to very small children whose minds will otherwise wander when confronted with a book that means to teach them all about how to take care of themselves?]

[Also: she will appreciate the attempt. All that meandering babble the other Imports indulge in confuses her at times.]

I am Mother Squirrel, if you please.

What is your name, young man?

[Yes, 'young man'. He is dirty and in need of care, and so until he gets better, he is a child to her.]

[purmoncul]

...Merlin's beard, this place.

[Sirius heaves a huge sigh and does NOT say 'Vagabond Wizard', even though he is sorely tempted. IT'S THE CITY, SIRIUS, JUST GO WITH IT.]

Sirius Black. And is there a Father, Brother and Sister Squirrel whom I can look forward to meeting?

[mindyourhealth]

[She is not sure of who this 'Merlin' is, or why his beard would warrant any attention, but it probably isn't terribly important. She chooses to skip questioning that for now.]

There is a Father Squrrel. Bobbie and Bettie are the names of my children. I do not think you will be meeting them. They are not here with me.

Thank you for asking, Sirius.

[purmoncul]

[He was about to give her sass for mothering him in place of her family, but then she thanked him and he just... made this face and kind of got stuck.]

You're most welcome.

[Knee-jerk propriety: the British version of the blue screen of death.]

[mindyourhealth]

[Victory is hers!]

May I help you with anything else, Sirius?

[purmoncul]

No, I've taken up enough of your time. Have a pleasant evening.

[Wait. Wait. Can we turn this politeness around and use it as a means of escape? Is it possible? THE SHOE IS ON THE OTHER FOOT NOW, LADY.]

[mindyourhealth]

[A gentle correction.]

I have as much time as others need.

[And then, politely.]

Good night, Sirius. Please, rest well.