012; voice

[bedeviledspider]

Okay, city. I know there are more important things going on right now, but since I almost had to call the fire department this morning... there's something I need to know. How do you tell someone they need cooking lessons?

Also, are there any good ways to teach that don't involve cookbooks? Just wondering.

Comments

voice, private;

[incywincyhero]

I was going to say that those of us who can't cook are usually well aware we can't, but then you mentioned May... Don't be too hard on her. She got a double-dose of terrible cookery from me and MJ.

[Aaaand moving on because whoops maybe bringing up mothers when they've never talked about Reilly's mom isn't the greatest plan.]

I'll make sure she's fed, though I can't promise you'll like what I'm feeding her. Where're you headed?

voice, private;

[bedeviledspider]

That's no excuse! I have half of her genes and I learned how to make a meal without putting us all in danger.

[ Granted, that could very well be because Elizabeth was a decent cook. Not that Reilly would know, alas. Carefully sidestepping around the topic of mothers to get to the even bigger minefield of his vacation... ]

Whatever. As long as she has some food in her stomach, I’ll live. Anyway -- uh. Hawaii.

It's kind of a couples thing, I guess.

voice, private;

[incywincyhero]

[OH SO CONTEMPLATIVE PAUSE.]

Cass seems like a great girl, but ... aren't you a little ... that is ...

You're going alone, just the two of you?

voice, private;

[bedeviledspider]

[ OH SO AWKWARD PAUSE. ]

Well, uh... the thing is...

We're.

Yeahhhh. Just the two of us.

permaetc;

[incywincyhero]

... Well, tell me Hornhead Sr's explained the birds and the bees at least.

Wait, what am I talking about. Of course he hasn't explained anything, it's Matt.

[bedeviledspider]

Wha?!

I... I know how it works, Parker! You don't--

[incywincyhero]

I know this may come as a shock, Reilly, but babies don't come from storks.

[bedeviledspider]

You can't be serious.

I mean-- ugh, I'm not five or something!

[incywincyhero]

Hang on, let me get a banana so I can show you something.

[bedeviledspider]

[ No words. Just. No words. ]

[incywincyhero]

Hang on, I bet I can find you a copy of Changing Bodies, Changing Lives somewhere...

[bedeviledspider]

Changing Bodies, Changing Li... hey! I’m not twelve, Parker, I've gone through puberty!

[incywincyhero]

Maybe I can find you some educational videos. Those are always helpful.