Brian Griffin did the Peanut Butter Jelly Dance.

Mesmerizing.

I'm sad. I'm sad because I can't afford an Xbox 360 now, and I was saving for about seven weeks to buy it. Now I can't get it because I had to call out for two days and go to the doctor's. Seriously, that is like the ultimate cosmic fuck up.

Christmas....
I'm sick of hearing that word. Dude, it's like, over a month away but while you motherfuckers get to just relax and not care about it, I have to put up with everyone's shit. I mean, like, literally. Someone actually ripped off a door in one of the stalls at work, so that you can't shit in privacy anymore ( Read more... )

+ I have a new roommate ( Read more... )

Don't watch Doom. It's horrible. At least Hitchhiker's Guide was kind of entertaining, if not just completely nonsensical and crazy. Doom was a piece of shit, pure and simple ( Read more... )

I just got back from church ( Read more... )

May I have the attention of the audience, please ( Read more... )

Did you know that "ham-fisted" is not only an adjective, but also a verb?

I had to learn that one the hard way.

ouch...

I'm rich. I'm rich I'm rich I'm rich. $824 dollars and 45 cents, all for me. I haven't had this much money in one place since that time I sued that idiot farmer and blew all my money on the mean streets of New York City with Jenn ( Read more... )

My birthday was so depressing and unimportant that I decided to never have a birthday again. I'm going to stay 23 years old for the rest of my life. Even when I'm old and grey, I am going to tell everyone I am 23.