Comments | captainhairdo: I hate Valentine's Day

captainhairdo

I hate Valentine's Day

Feb 12, 2005 19:05

One of the most frustrating things that happens to me is when someone tells me, "You're a wonderful person. You'll find someone." I want to scream out, "No! It's not going to happen! It hasn't happened, and it won't!" I don't like the implication that being a wonderful person automatically means that one will have a loving, fulfilling ( Read more... )

Comments 13

daemonredwolf February 12 2005, 20:20:21 UTC

Right there with ya, bro.

Although wanting a man instead of a woman, but still the same sentiments. :-)

Valentine's Day is just plain evil.

captainhairdo February 13 2005, 05:08:16 UTC

I wish there were a day to celebrate love for people in general rather than something co-opted into the worship of coupledom. Christmas doesn't really do it, despite those who go on at length about the "Christmas spirit."

Aww... im_clairevoyant February 13 2005, 00:33:20 UTC

Yeah, valentine's day sucks ass. And I know exactly how you feel about getting the "You're a wonderful person, but..." spiel. I've had to deal with that one quite a bit. Usually in not so many words, just a meaningful glance or two. It hurts.

I knew you already had plans or I would have invited you to the improvability show on Friday. They had an "anti-valentine's day" special theme and everyone wore all black and made fun of love and light of heartbreak. It was really funny and turned the holiday into something less painful for me.

Hey, after all, it's just a day, right? Sure, it's easy to think about the person you like banging someone else like a rabbit on this hateful day, and start to feel ill inside because of it, but hey...that could happen on any given Saturday night. We're not any more single on this day than on any other. Let's try to think of it like that. Skewed reasoning, I know, but it works for me.

im_clairevoyant February 13 2005, 00:40:11 UTC

I didn't mean to make light of singledom with that previous comment. That's how I deal with it. I do hope you'll cheer up and feel better, though. And this means a lot, coming from the queen of doom and gloom.

captainhairdo February 13 2005, 05:22:00 UTC

Thank you; it does mean a lot.

Re: Aww... captainhairdo February 13 2005, 05:21:17 UTC

It's the "but" part there that really gets me. In particular when a woman says that I'll find someone someday, I want to ask, "Well, then, why not you?" I've never actually said this because it probably would come out acidly, and deep down I am a nice person - or at least I try to be.

It's kind of funny how plans change. What was going to be a late-ish dinner on Friday turned out to be a very early one; we were done by 6:15, so I could have gone to the show with you. I think I would have enjoyed it. Instead I went home and watched a Marx Brothers movie and about midnight went to a birthday party in IV. What's funny is that I was going to call you, but I thought you already had plans, so I didn't. The absurdity of life. . .

Thread 6

designjunky February 13 2005, 09:39:39 UTC

[blunt]

"Why not you?"

Honestly, R, because young women are shallow. (Young men are, too.) In their 20s they still believe they can find a partner who is brilliant, funny, sweet, deep, handsome, AND possessing of a perfect body. (Which begs the question, since I haven't talked to you in many years and haven't seen the girls you're going after -- are you sure that YOUR priorities are in the right place? I've known too many people who spend their time complaining about how others don't look beyond their exteriors, but every damn person they want to go out with looks like a supermodel. I hope that's not you.)

"Someday" means when you get older and the women your age are wise enough to know that being brilliant, funny, and sweet is a rare thing that lasts forever, and that pretty goes away. Or you could meet one of the "wise beyond her years" ones tomorrow. Never know.

"Someday" means "Sorry, I personally am just too shallow right now, and I have messed-up priorities."
[/blunt]

captainhairdo February 13 2005, 21:35:00 UTC

I certainly do have some quite high standards. I would like to be with someone who is funny, sweet, and brilliant with a mischievous glint in her eye. A person with a beautiful face and a supermodel body will turn my head and is exciting to think about, but I do know that physical beauty is fleeting. With high standards, it does reduce the number of opportunities, but I feel that if I compromise on some standards, ultimately I'll be untrue to myself and won't be happy ( ... )

blackwolfbwr February 14 2005, 02:02:05 UTC

I think Valentines day is stupid how it emphasizes on couples like that. Everyone gets all mushy during valentines day.

WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF THE YEAR?

It's stupid because:
it makes single people feel stupid
it makes dating people feel like it's that special day (like other days exist to be romantic as well...not some set aside crap)

See my rant on valentines day......it ticks me off to no end. Even when I dated in the past it sucked because all the restaurants are crowded with stupid attention starved girls finally getting what they deserve during the year all crammed into one day.

captainhairdo February 14 2005, 12:59:29 UTC

I agree. The pressure of this one day often alienates single people and places undue stress on couples to "make it special." This is the same reason I frequently give Christmas gifts early or late. I don't like being bound by that stress.

(The comment has been removed)

captainhairdo February 14 2005, 13:34:55 UTC

This is one argument against deleting your livejournal :) I was hoping you'd come back. It's hard to avoid reading it when it's one of the great ways to keep up with people you care about. Well, I'm with you in that I wish I'd log on less, but given the choice of no LJ or a little too much LJ, I'd choose the latter.

I think you've said it to me before, and I do appreciate it. My frustration is not with any one person who says that I'm sweet and will find someone (with notable exception of the person in whom I'm interested saying it), it lies in the whole collection of people saying it. It highlights the fact that there seems to be a gap between being a good person and being a good person who someone wants to be with. I'd like to figure out what that gap is, and even if I can't do something about it, then at least I'll have some peace.

At the same time I feel that I'm making a mountain of a molehill and should just relax about it.

once upon a time I felt kind of like you do--except that I'm not wonderful.It's nice to know I'm ( ... )