We've all done terrible things to each other, but we have to forgive each other...
So as I mentioned to many people, I may have officially frakked myself big-time as far as graduation is concerned. So they sent audits out at the beginning of March. Well, I didn't pick mine up till today cause I never check my mailbox. So I get mine, and apparently, despite the fact that my advisor and I looked things over and both saw I could get away with taking only three classes this semester and still be 2 credits over graduation, I'm now gonna be two credits UNDER graduation. So I'm seriously freaking out and I have no clue what the frak I'm gonna do. I'm gonna try to talk to Dr. A tomorrow and see what she thinks I could do.
So in other news, I seriously acted like an ass last night. But luckily for me, the friend I really treated horribly was willing to forgive me. Which is a good thing, cause honestly, I wouldn't have been surprised if she told me to just leave her alone, cause I was really a horrible friend. So I spent a lot of today worrying about that, cause I really don't want things to end for us. She's seriously a great friend, and I don't know what I'd do without her in my life. I just...Honestly, the more I sit here and think about it, the more I really realize how much I really do like her like I do. I mean, there's literally no aspect of her I don't just absolutely <3. Between her awesome taste in movies (which despite her denials, is completely there. I mean, if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have seen six of the nine movies I've seen in theaters this school year) to the fact that she's so into comics and games, to the fact that she's willing to put up with the downsides of Matt (that's a big one, cause there's many downsides to Matt), there's just so much that's awesome about her. And then throw in the most important thing...Just getting to hang out with her is enough to make me happy. I mean, she makes me want to change myself for the better, which is more than I can say about anyone else I've ever had feelings for. It's just...This is completely different than any of my other things I've had for girls and it's hard to describe. I just know she's definitely someone I don't want to just leave behind after I graduate (that is if I do graduate >.<). I want there to be a friendship there beyond college. And that's why I want to change myself for the better, because if I continue along this path, I might lose that friendship, which would really suck. I mean, I can't even stay mad at her for things. I let things lash out, and then I immediately feel horrible about it. And the funniest thing about this whole thing? I realize nothing could ever come from my feelings, cause I know she could never have feelings like that towards me, yet it still doesn't change things. I'm almost completely fine with that as long as I still have her friendship. It's weird...
Let's see, what else. I've been playing a lot of Xenosaga Episode III whenever I get the chance. Xenosaga is a series that despite the fact I've never beaten a single game in it, I will without a doubt say it's one of my favorite RPG series out there. I love the attention to the story the games will put forth. I mean, what other series will spend an hour of game time devoted to furthering the story and not give you one chance to actually do anything? And the story is worth devoting the time to, because it's jaw-droppingly great. Though today I beat chapter 3 of Episode III, which ended with the craziest cut-scene ever. KOS-MOS got absolutely wrecked. I've never seen a main character of a game get their asses handed to them like KOS-MOS did. T-elos just destroyed KOS-MOS. I mean, I don't think KOS-MOS even got a hit in. And then she got pierced through the chest by T-elos' boot. It was just insane. And yet I sorta enjoyed watching it.
I think tomorrow during the day I'm gonna try to watch one of the three movies I've been meaning to watch for awhile. Either 28 Days Later (since 28 Week Later is out in a couple weeks), Layer Cake, or Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. Not sure which. Prolly either 28DL or KKBB. Plus I think we have game tomorrow. It's been awhile since I've went so I'm not sure what's going on. All I know is I left Chris in charge last time and apparently I wasn't allowed to kill anti-Volley since Cricket was attached to her. Makes me wanna kill her more now just cause I've been told I can't.
I really need to go to sleep. I'm so tired anymore. Maybe it's from all the neck pains...I've been listening to this one NIN song way too much lately "We're In This Together". It's rather addictive. Though I've also become addicted to listening to dir en grey and Voltaire.
Chris, we need to go back to playing Monster Hunter Freedom. We need to go back to hunting those damn online wyverns. I found myself missing the days when we'd play that way too much.
I'm rambling, and I feel really light-headed from my medicine, so I think it's bed time for Matt...