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CRUCIBLE OF CREATIVE POTENTIAL: The Homestuck Request Meme
ACT TWO
(also known as SHITSTAIN ASSMASTER)By popular demand, a general request meme for MSPA, at long last. Have an idea you want to see drawn or written? This is the place to ask. Both romantic (of any kind, het or slash) and general prompts are accepted. Reply to those comments with art ( Read more... )
ACT TWO
(also known as SHITSTAIN ASSMASTER)By popular demand, a general request meme for MSPA, at long last. Have an idea you want to see drawn or written? This is the place to ask. Both romantic (of any kind, het or slash) and general prompts are accepted. Reply to those comments with art ( Read more... )
1) The fridge is full of swords
2) All the food is in the closet
3) Also Dave I have been warned about stairs you can stop now
4) Who's brain is in that jar, anyway
5) No, it can't be your brain
etc etc.
...Because while Bro is the coolest dude to ever slice a meteor in half, Dave has basically been raised by a lunatic.
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seconded
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later
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---
Who's this douchebag.
Oh. Your name is ROOMIE, a city boy born and raised in south Detroit. No, you don't get an actual name, because no one would call you by your actual name if you had one. No matter what, you will always be referred to as something other than what you name yourself or whatever is on the birth certificate that you at least hope you have. Maybe you'd have a name if your roommate at this particular UNIVERSITY wasn't a coolkid fellow by the name of DAVE STRIDER ( ... )
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I love you
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---
Dave doesn't come back until sometime the next day. You stayed awake precisely two hours later than normal with intention to confront him about the swords in the fridge. Swords in the fridge. Time to rephrase that: Real fucking swords in the goddamned fridge. It was insane! But, in retrospect, staying up past your bedtime was dumb. You should have known Dave would be out late, he always does. You were late for your Stats test, slept through your Lit class, and tripped up the stairs. Up the stairs, you haven't done that since junior high.
When you got back to your dorm, you were prepared to talk at Dave--the sleepiness at this point qualified a "talking at," you didn't think you could handle a long "talking to" or "talking with"--until you saw him squatting on the floor in front of his closet. Dumbfounded, you just stared, because he was putting his groceries in his closet. You stammered to him about the drawers and ( ... )
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Dave comes back, and this is probably the first time he has while you've been awake. You share nods of acknowledgment, and you don't plan on speaking to him until he sets a jar on one of the food shelves you have on your side of the room. You know, where food goes. You think he's putting food up there, you said he could share, but there are no more thuds, or bag ruffling, or anything. Something tells you that you shouldn't look, you really shouldn't, but you do it anyway ( ... )
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You put your food in the closet, and sometimes put mine in my closet. "I've already told you about that, man. That's where food goes, do you see a usable kitchen here? You know why? Because I got this food storage thing down, you don't even know."
Okay...well what about the brain. "I told you, it's mine." No, Dave, it can't be yours. "Yeah it is." No it's not. "I get it, you're jealous, you can't see your brain but--" Dave I mean it-- "--dude you need to chill."
Alright. You take a deep breath, and prepare yourself to lay it on him "chill"-like.
You tell him normal people don't keep food in their closet, or swords in the fridge. They don't disregard the proper use of a kitchen in favor of...well, whatever the practicality was in storing food in the closet. You tell him all this, you're being redundant, you know, but you are so frustrated by his trolls and his timelines. Your voice ( ... )
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ROOMIE, you're such a trooper
But you'll apparently go on to star in a Journey song, which is the best fate anyone can ask for.
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