TM213 - Enough Sorrow
The end of the year was particularly rough on him. It seemed things were falling around him beyond his control. Things had been looking up just months before. He was getting used to his job, he had a good relationship forming, his kids weren't hating him most days, even his ex-wife was starting to cut him a break.
But then work got rougher. Wheeler left. Abby started to lose patience. Wheeler went missing. Abby walked out of his life. The cases got harder and they stayed in his mind longer. The..something that he had started with Liz...was still unknown to him, and he was starting to believe he'd never know what it was. The holidays were difficult as he tried to please his boys and his ex and everyone else. Work rattled him too much that last month of the year. He did what he knew not to. He let it get to him. He let it get to his life.
He knew that he was turning a leaf - hopefully in the right direction - before everything started to fall. He didn't want to stop that. He didn't want to lose hope like he once had. He didn't want to give in to the dark thoughts he kept in. He knew he had the potential for unfiltered happiness again. He'd had it once.
This all was running through his mind as he had a beer after work one evening. Barely two weeks into the new year, he'd yet to make a resolution. That wasn't something he had done in a very long time. But this year...this year he wanted to. This year he wanted things to be better. He didn't want to think so much, doubt so much, or fear so much.
There had been enough of that. It was time. Time to move on.
And so, when he lifted his bottle to his lips, he smiled. He smiled because it was better than frowning, and because it was the first step that he could take in his new year.
Captain Danny Ross
Law and Order: Criminal Intent
343