Comments | captfaramir: On Patrol With Craig.

captfaramir

On Patrol With Craig.

Jun 05, 2004 14:13

I was overjoyed when Craig appeared, for it had been long since I had seen him. He looked well - healthy and hale, and was dressed in clothing that blended in with the landscape of the trees of the forest. He was also carrying two very large sacks - carryall's, he called them, which, upon opening, revealed all manner of weaponary that was both ( Read more... )

Comments 49

craig_p June 5 2004, 04:48:23 UTC

What did you think of that semi-automatic? It's very handy and can slice many an orc. Of course, I'm not so inhumane as to propose a game of "Catapult the Orc," but the idea does sound appealing considering what those creatures have done over the ages.

captfaramir June 5 2004, 04:52:25 UTC

Now, that, my friend, was a most excellent and efficient weapon. Methinks that seeing as they were so kind as to shower us with the heads of our dead men during the war that perhaps it would be kindness to repay the favour. Though it is churlish of me in the extreme to suggest that I do so out of anything other than altruism.

craig_p June 5 2004, 04:58:56 UTC

*pulls out design for Orc Catapult (tm)*

Here is something I was toying around with. I tell you, hanging around Shadowy people really influences your idea of entertainment, mate. Anyway, what do you think?

( ... )

captfaramir June 5 2004, 05:01:02 UTC

*gazes at the drawing in admiration*

My friend, that is positively genius! Mayhap this day we may find some orcs upon which to test this device!

Thread 17

captfaramir June 5 2004, 05:55:37 UTC

*Faramir casts about looking for something to use as a bandage to stem the flow of blood from Craig's leg. Craig has passed out due to blood loss, and the only thing near to hand is the 'Save the Orcs' t-shirt. Grimly, Faramir tears the t-shirt into strips and binds it around the wound, hoping the fabric will be strong enough to help stem the bloodflow. He knows that it is at best a very dim hope, for the t-shirt bore a tag saying 'sold at K-Mart.' The words 'Save the Orcs' are now wound around Craig's leg, like some sort of almost obscene advertisement. With the help of his Rangers, Faramir manages to get Craig onto his horse, and settles behind the unconcious man, preparing to ride like the wind.*

Come, my friend, we ride to Gondor with all possible speed.

craig_p June 5 2004, 06:02:08 UTC

*Craig awakens in the House of Healing with Faramir dozing in a chair nearby. He winces as he tries to sit up. He reaches up to scratch his head but finds that the entire top of his head has been bandaged. Tentatively, he pokes at it. A sudden wave of blackness threatens and he resolves not to do that again any time soon.

After ascertaining that it would be a Very Bad Idea to try to move his leg, he realises to his great relief that he is ABSOLUTELY FAMISHED.

Craig is in the middle of trying to find some sort of bell to alert the healer in attendance that FOOD WOULD BE APPRECIATED when Faramir stirs and awakens*

captfaramir June 5 2004, 06:05:22 UTC

*Faramir awakens to see Craig looking rather woozy and tentatively poking at his head. He rushes to his friend's side and clasps his arm in a MANLY YET COMRADELY AND FRIENDLY GRIP*

Friend Craig, how do you feel? Do you require anything?

craig_p June 5 2004, 06:08:39 UTC

*Craig brightens as he find that he is, indeed, hale and whole.*

Faramir! *He sits up further even though his leg twinges in pain, but it is bearable. Besides, his backside was becoming numb.*

Is everyone okay? Was anyone else hurt? Are you okay? How long have I been out? Gods, I'm starving! Did you get my backpack by any chance?

Thread 16

captfaramir June 5 2004, 06:57:08 UTC

*Faramir speaks with the voice of the True Believer*

It is a marvellous path of treatment, my friend. Marvellous indeed.

Vampires? Alas, not since the days of Morgoth when Sauron would take on the form of a vampire and ravage the lands of Arda, setting terror among all who stood before him and spurned his yearning for power, *drones on and on about the days of Beleriand, sees Craig's eyes glazing over, comes to his conclusion* and in conclusion, not since that time have there been vampires.

craig_p June 5 2004, 07:00:02 UTC

Ah, then I see that vampire repelling methods are not needed nor are there professionals in that area of expertise.

I was only curious, Faramir. Besides, I'm still in shock that my letters in my stolen backpack were actually mailed out. I didn't even have postage on them yet. What a bunch of nice orcs!

captfaramir June 5 2004, 07:02:14 UTC

Yes. I feel...perhaps that slaughtering them whilst they were picnicking may have been...a slight error. Perhaps a song should be sung for the dead this eve, that could be nice.

craig_p June 5 2004, 07:05:47 UTC

*snickers*

And what are we going to call it, pray tell? "What shall we do with a slaughtered orc?"

I can see it now. "Profuse apologies for you know, killing you all as you were enjoying the Ithilien Natural Reserve. We couldn't help noticing after our massacre that you were nice enough to keep your campfires well away from the trees as well as be conscientious enough to cover them with rocks."

Thread 16