You shouldn't need to jump through endless hoops to please your friend. You shouldn't jump through endless hoops to please your friend. (A big thing about setting boundaries is that it's good to go "This is what I'm happy to do for a friend, this is what I'm comfortable doing occasionally, and this is stuff that makes me miserable and I won't do unless it's literally life or death." That way you don't quietly build up stress and unhappiness by excessively catering to people.)
Are you sure the vagueblogging is actually about you? Did they say something more explicit?
I hope things improve. I know it's hard for you now.
It's not like they asked me to. I did cause I wanted to. They've probably got a million instances of their own they could pull up if they wanted to, things they've done for me that I never realized.
It's not like I resent them. I'm not angry over those things. Except right now, when I feel like they're being unfair to be upset with me, even though I know in an identical situation I would be and have been upset with them.
I know it was about me. They made it pretty clear.
I'm having trouble following the whole thing. Is the issue about them feeling you belittled their headcanon? Or is there something else in addition to that?
There's a headcanon they have that's really important to them, and it's a blanket for all their fics- it applies to any time they write that character. But it's really jarring for me for reasons I'm not sure I understand, and I never wanted to hurt them so I never brought it up and even tried to make it work so I could love it to. Then I mentioned a scene in their latest drop that dealt with it, and mentioned that it made me tear up to read (it's not a bad headcanon, just a personal jarring), and they're like "I'm never sure how you feel about it cause you never mention it" and instead of leaving it at "it's not my personal jam and you write so many things that are that I decide to focus on those instead", like a sensible and considerate person, I tried to explain what I felt, and I did a poor job of it and didn't listen to any of the times I told myself to stop talking, and then they got upset and I was like "well shit" and the whole "apologize and give them space" thing
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Comments 7
You shouldn't need to jump through endless hoops to please your friend. You shouldn't jump through endless hoops to please your friend. (A big thing about setting boundaries is that it's good to go "This is what I'm happy to do for a friend, this is what I'm comfortable doing occasionally, and this is stuff that makes me miserable and I won't do unless it's literally life or death." That way you don't quietly build up stress and unhappiness by excessively catering to people.)
Are you sure the vagueblogging is actually about you? Did they say something more explicit?
I hope things improve. I know it's hard for you now.
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It's not like I resent them. I'm not angry over those things. Except right now, when I feel like they're being unfair to be upset with me, even though I know in an identical situation I would be and have been upset with them.
I know it was about me. They made it pretty clear.
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