everywhere
I had some nightmares,
Clawing at my skin and bones
I nearly did explode
You smoked the demons
Gave me back my feelings
Now I am good to go
--motion city soundtrack
I guess for the past few months I've been too afraid to write when good things happen in this journal because I've become pretty convinced that once I write something good, it officially jinxes it and things go to crap.
In the past couple of weeks I've come to realize that it wasn't necessarily "speaking too soon" that was the problem.
I've heard speaker after speaker at school talk about their jobs in the music industry and how much they love it. How work doesn't even feel like their job just because they're doing something they're interested in and love.
For the past year I've looked at relationships as an unappealing job (kind of like Panera). I told people I didn't want to be in a relationship because of the time and energy it takes to make it work and what not.
And then I randomly met Thomas.
He's a a year younger than me, and is one of the most awkward & initially shy people I've ever met. He plays a lot of xbox, his musical instrument of choice is the trumpet and he enjoys musicals, computers, books, and cheese. He doesn't give vague responses to strangers and plays peek-a-boo with little kids that stare at him. He has a bunch of different groups of his own friends, is considerate and follows through when he tells people he'll do something. Not to mention he ain't bad on the eyes (in MY opinion, at least).
I'm not going to say that I've suddenly transformed from some bitter robotic person to some hopeless romantic because that is definitely not the case. But I do feel like he's embraced the weird and the geek in me, and emotionally impacted me, for the better.
We've already had some minor arguments and I'm definitely sure there are tons more to come. But I'm willing to work at it. Because suddenly all that work doesn't seem like a panera-esque job to me anymore.
[worst analogy ever but it makes sense in my head!!!]
Clawing at my skin and bones
I nearly did explode
You smoked the demons
Gave me back my feelings
Now I am good to go
--motion city soundtrack
I guess for the past few months I've been too afraid to write when good things happen in this journal because I've become pretty convinced that once I write something good, it officially jinxes it and things go to crap.
In the past couple of weeks I've come to realize that it wasn't necessarily "speaking too soon" that was the problem.
I've heard speaker after speaker at school talk about their jobs in the music industry and how much they love it. How work doesn't even feel like their job just because they're doing something they're interested in and love.
For the past year I've looked at relationships as an unappealing job (kind of like Panera). I told people I didn't want to be in a relationship because of the time and energy it takes to make it work and what not.
And then I randomly met Thomas.
He's a a year younger than me, and is one of the most awkward & initially shy people I've ever met. He plays a lot of xbox, his musical instrument of choice is the trumpet and he enjoys musicals, computers, books, and cheese. He doesn't give vague responses to strangers and plays peek-a-boo with little kids that stare at him. He has a bunch of different groups of his own friends, is considerate and follows through when he tells people he'll do something. Not to mention he ain't bad on the eyes (in MY opinion, at least).
I'm not going to say that I've suddenly transformed from some bitter robotic person to some hopeless romantic because that is definitely not the case. But I do feel like he's embraced the weird and the geek in me, and emotionally impacted me, for the better.
We've already had some minor arguments and I'm definitely sure there are tons more to come. But I'm willing to work at it. Because suddenly all that work doesn't seem like a panera-esque job to me anymore.
[worst analogy ever but it makes sense in my head!!!]