♥ books :D
Fiction
Magic Study by Maria Snyder. ^__^ (don't have it on hand or I'd pull out the magic-learning scene as my favorite :( ) Also, her website is here and she seems cool. ("...has a brown belt in Issinryu Karate, and has enjoyed "acting out" the complex fight scenes in her books.")
Austenland by Shannon Hale. Skimmed through the ending, but it had some hilarious scenes like the Elizabeth-Darcy piano scene spoof, where they had a big build-up and she was kind of, ok, I didn't say I'd play a song but I'll play along *humble claim to have no skill* *gets encouraging reply that that always means player is skillful* *walks up daintily to piano* *plays Peter, Peter, Pumpkin-eater on the black keys* *bows*
Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale (again? must be twins ;) ) Rewriting of a fairy tale but also hilarious like that book up there written by her twin (dang... I've got to stop returning things to the library so quickly :( )
Non-fiction
Becoming a Tiger by Susan McCarthy ... I don't have this one on hand anymore, but it is the most hilarious set of accounts of baby (and sometimes older) animals learning how to get about in the world. I think I'm going to Just ordered it from Amazon... then I will pull out passages at random and put them here! :D
War Made New by Max Boot (isn't that a cool name? >_>) I'm reading this now. Chapter one was about the Spanish Armada, apparently like that movie that's out. I actually have this one with me (!!!), so I'm going to be a bit long... ^__^
Here's what my (probably pitiful) understanding of the Spanish Armada was from this:
Philip II of Spain, micromanager-extraordinaire, has some restless provinces in the Hollandy areas or whatnot and there's religious conflicts and stuff that Elizabeth I (of Britain) is unkindly or something on the other side of (helping the rebels and whatnot) so he decides to send some ships over to pick up the un-restless peeps and drop 'em over to the British countryside for a good bit of conquering.
So he gets a new admiral (old one died), wisely picking a well-bred fellow who's never really been to sea much (what does that matter) and has rheumatism (well, sea-aggravated pain is good?). New fellow has to scrape together some guns for the ships. Ships not well armed, despite Spain being the major power in the region at the time. Ships not great quality either -- still got oar-driven galleys and stuff which don't work too well on rough water in the area, apparently. But whatever, there's over a hundred of 'em. Crams the ships with soldiers to board with the English ships in battle and figures God, being on his side, will give the Spanish the "miracle" they need so that the English ships actually get close enough to be boarded.
English strategy: well, Henry VIII started this shipbuilding thing, so we've got faster ships with better guns... uh, we'll just sit off and bomb you guys, 'k? Thx. 'Cept they didn't *test* their guns on ships first (well, galleons are expensive apparently) so they didn't have *quite* as much range as they thought. ^^;
So first battle, nothing.
(Except for the two Spanish ships that had, uh, accidents. (Relatively poorly trained crews that don't all speak the same language + disgruntled people w. lit matches + powder barrels = bad) )
Sir Francis Drake, one of the vice-admirals is supposed to lead the English fleet, but instead he's off plundering one of the accident-ed Spanish ships. He discovers that the English haven't actually done much damage. Oops.
So they have to get a bit closer. OK. ^^;
Meanwhile, the Spanish discover that communications in 1588 ain't great, and the Dutch need another week to fix their alarm clocks. Spanish have to sit around.
England sends exploding fire ships at the Spanish who are sitting around. They scatter.
Then, instead of finishing the Spanish off, the admiral is off plundering. (Pirates apparently make good seamen but are easily distracted by shiny objects, much like raccoons and anime shoujo although maybe the latter two wouldn't be good seamen.) So some of the Spanish do escape (is that bad?).
And that's kind of it except for the depressing parts where people die and stuff :'(. But the chapter was in 30 pages, and it was funnier than I can retell it in 10 paragraphs. ^_^ I have to find copies of the other books. Apparently I'm discriminatory about, uh, book race? I prefer mass market paperback -- stop printing books in funky sizes that don't line up on my shelf! >_<
Magic Study by Maria Snyder. ^__^ (don't have it on hand or I'd pull out the magic-learning scene as my favorite :( ) Also, her website is here and she seems cool. ("...has a brown belt in Issinryu Karate, and has enjoyed "acting out" the complex fight scenes in her books.")
Austenland by Shannon Hale. Skimmed through the ending, but it had some hilarious scenes like the Elizabeth-Darcy piano scene spoof, where they had a big build-up and she was kind of, ok, I didn't say I'd play a song but I'll play along *humble claim to have no skill* *gets encouraging reply that that always means player is skillful* *walks up daintily to piano* *plays Peter, Peter, Pumpkin-eater on the black keys* *bows*
Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale (again? must be twins ;) ) Rewriting of a fairy tale but also hilarious like that book up there written by her twin (dang... I've got to stop returning things to the library so quickly :( )
Non-fiction
Becoming a Tiger by Susan McCarthy ... I don't have this one on hand anymore, but it is the most hilarious set of accounts of baby (and sometimes older) animals learning how to get about in the world. I think I'm going to Just ordered it from Amazon... then I will pull out passages at random and put them here! :D
War Made New by Max Boot (isn't that a cool name? >_>) I'm reading this now. Chapter one was about the Spanish Armada, apparently like that movie that's out. I actually have this one with me (!!!), so I'm going to be a bit long... ^__^
Here's what my (probably pitiful) understanding of the Spanish Armada was from this:
Philip II of Spain, micromanager-extraordinaire, has some restless provinces in the Hollandy areas or whatnot and there's religious conflicts and stuff that Elizabeth I (of Britain) is unkindly or something on the other side of (helping the rebels and whatnot) so he decides to send some ships over to pick up the un-restless peeps and drop 'em over to the British countryside for a good bit of conquering.
So he gets a new admiral (old one died), wisely picking a well-bred fellow who's never really been to sea much (what does that matter) and has rheumatism (well, sea-aggravated pain is good?). New fellow has to scrape together some guns for the ships. Ships not well armed, despite Spain being the major power in the region at the time. Ships not great quality either -- still got oar-driven galleys and stuff which don't work too well on rough water in the area, apparently. But whatever, there's over a hundred of 'em. Crams the ships with soldiers to board with the English ships in battle and figures God, being on his side, will give the Spanish the "miracle" they need so that the English ships actually get close enough to be boarded.
English strategy: well, Henry VIII started this shipbuilding thing, so we've got faster ships with better guns... uh, we'll just sit off and bomb you guys, 'k? Thx. 'Cept they didn't *test* their guns on ships first (well, galleons are expensive apparently) so they didn't have *quite* as much range as they thought. ^^;
So first battle, nothing.
(Except for the two Spanish ships that had, uh, accidents. (Relatively poorly trained crews that don't all speak the same language + disgruntled people w. lit matches + powder barrels = bad) )
Sir Francis Drake, one of the vice-admirals is supposed to lead the English fleet, but instead he's off plundering one of the accident-ed Spanish ships. He discovers that the English haven't actually done much damage. Oops.
So they have to get a bit closer. OK. ^^;
Meanwhile, the Spanish discover that communications in 1588 ain't great, and the Dutch need another week to fix their alarm clocks. Spanish have to sit around.
England sends exploding fire ships at the Spanish who are sitting around. They scatter.
Then, instead of finishing the Spanish off, the admiral is off plundering. (Pirates apparently make good seamen but are easily distracted by shiny objects, much like raccoons and anime shoujo although maybe the latter two wouldn't be good seamen.) So some of the Spanish do escape (is that bad?).
And that's kind of it except for the depressing parts where people die and stuff :'(. But the chapter was in 30 pages, and it was funnier than I can retell it in 10 paragraphs. ^_^ I have to find copies of the other books. Apparently I'm discriminatory about, uh, book race? I prefer mass market paperback -- stop printing books in funky sizes that don't line up on my shelf! >_<