The Last Templar - Raymond Khoury
This is long. I haven't inflicted a book review on you guys in a while, so I figure you're due. Plus, I think at least mornatasare will understand the hair-wrenching that went on while reading this book. The moral?
If you are concerned about SPOILERS, I don't give away the ending, nor the actual solving of the puzzles. I do go into the rest of the plot of about 3/4 of the book, though. Rather than a typical review, this is more of a snark-fest.
Tess Chaykin, Former and Yearning to be Again Archaeologist, attends an exhibition at the Met of Vatican treasures including a Templar encoder (a matter of a clerk slip-up and great consternation at the Vatican). But the exhibition is raided by Four Horsemen on horseback dressed as Templars complete with broadswords. Post-raid the FBI domestic terrorism unit gets involved in the person of Handsome & Faithfully Catholic (that's a major plot point, don't forget it) Sean Reilly.
Needless to say there follows a bunch of consulting with experts, untimely deaths caused by a mysterious assassin (possibly in the employ of the Vatican) all in search of the famed Templar Treasure - or as it shall be known the Priceless Artifact. Tess gets hold of the Treasure Map by getting kidnapped by the Bad Guy.
Up to this point, I was ok. But then Tess starts turning stupid. First, she returns the Priceless Treasure Map to the Bad Guy when he threatens her daughter. Which is all well and good, except that she DOESN'T TELL THE FBI. Because she thinks to herself, people in real life don't call the FBI in situations like this. After all, why would you want trained kidnapping units or backup involved if some psycho may possibly have your kid? Nah. That's only done in the movies... *headdesk*
At least she has the sense to make copies. So she then ends up on a plane to a Mysterious Foreign Location to find the Buried Treasure (a clue as to the Whereabouts of the Priceless Artifact). Again without mentioning anything to the FBI. But luckily since Reilly thinks she's the hottest thing since Bunsen Burners, he shows up at the airport and hops the same plane with no forewarning. Fine. So they have to go diving for the Buried Treasure. And they have a little bit of dialogue that goes like this:
TESS: Let's go diving with sub-par equipment that nobody has checked in a while to find something we only have a general idea of where to find!
REILLY: Umm, maybe I should call HQ and get them to send some people out here? It's kept for a couple hundred years...
TESS: You don't understand! My career rests on US being the ones to find it with NO outside help. Because actually having FBI agents here would mean I WOULDN'T GET ALL THE CREDIT!! Besides, I've done this hundreds of times. C'mon.
REILLY: Ok, but only because you're hot in a wetsuit. And I care deeply for your career. And apparently not at all for mine.
They dive around, and Miss Trained Archaeologist decides to yank the Buried Treasure from its resting place with no sort of documentation or photography whatsoever. Because that will lead to archaeological acclaim! So she grabs a random piece of metal from a twisty unstable looking column to pry open the obligatory watertight Secret Compartment. Said piece of metal was apparently the last Jenga block holding a GIANT STONE WALL up which begins to collapse around them. And the strap on the pouch gets caught! OH NO!
REILLY: Quick! Whip out your trusty dive knife which is practically required gear on a dive and cut through this hundreds of years old leather strap!
TESS: Ummm...
REILLY: We're running out of air, here. Plus there is falling debris, could you get a move on with the cutting?
TESS: I didn't bring one, despite the fact that I have done many underwater digs before... Why don't you stand amongst the falling debris and heave on the trapdoor manfully?
REILLY: *headdesk*
So they retrieve the pouch and start to surface only to discover there are Goons waiting.
REILLY: You know, if I had a DIVE KNIFE, I could play James Bond and jab a hole in the bottom of the goon's boat and make this entertaining for the audience rather than leading to yet another hostage situation...
TESS: *is taken hostage*
Let's see, after they escape the hostage situation due to scary sniper fire from an Unknown Entity, Tess decides to randomly take the hostage and the jeep and leave Reilly stranded in the Wilds of Turkey with no supplies or means of transport. Did I mention there was a sniper running around? But he seems ok with it... Because she's hot in a wetsuit.
Anyway, they eventually find the Priceless Artifact and they have a Deep Discussion about whether or not to reveal it. Tess is concerned for her precious career. Reilly attempts to convince her that if it is somehow revealed that Jesus was a Mere Mortal Man, Faith as we know it will be impossible. Not just for Christians, but for ALL PEOPLES OF THE EARTH!! (There was quite a long section about this. It makes absolutely no sense. But I suppose it appeases those who want a pro-Christian DVC?).
I won't get into the ending in any detail, but I will tell you that there is yet more Hostage Taking by the Bad Guy because HE thought to bring a Dive Knife!
I thought it was a completely lame way to leave things. And the Epilogue was an unnecessary sop to remove even the last vestiges of controversy. So essentially, I was looking for an puzzle thriller and got a bunch of babble about the essentiality of faith in the midst of hostage situation after hostage situation. I liked neither of the main characters, and thought that Tess in particular was a horrible excuse for a heroine.